Diane

Weekly recap + what we ate: sick week and random FIGS

It was a massively unproductive week. I was laid up sick for much of the week. What started as a throat tickle on Monday, devolved into me in bed for most of Wednesday. Wednesday also happened to be the snow day. Fortunate or unfortunate timing? Well, fortunate in that the kids didn’t have to go to school. Unfortunate in that it was a snow day and everyone really wanted to go sledding… There were disappointed kids for sure. In the end I spent three days in bed with periodic excursions to take the kids to the bus or to activities. Luckily on Friday the Husband took care of the school bus pick up and drop off so I could continue to rest.

I am a terrible sick person. I don’t like to stay in bed, I get bored easily, I always think I feel better way before I actually do. But I will say there is always one point when I feel like being in bed is doing me no good and I have to get outside. By the third day of being in the house resting, I was convinced that I wasn’t going to get any better staying in bed and went for a walk. My body just craved sunshine and fresh air and some movement. I walked towards the 13 year old’s school and met her as shew as on her way home, and he face lit up when she saw me. I don’t know if it’s scientifically backed, but I did feel better for having gotten out of bed and out of the house. Or maybe it was seeing my kid’s face all lit up with cold and joy. I’m reminded of something I read once (maybe it was Oprah) that said, “Make sure your face lights up when you see your child.” Realizing how much it made my day to see my kid’s face light up made me remember that it works both ways and I need to have that same joy when I see her too.

(note: it was Oprah. Rather Toni Morrison via Oprah. Okay -funny story – Toni Morrison taught at my alma mater. I once sat next to her at a lecture, and fell asleep. I hope I didn’t lean on her or drool or anything…)

Anyhow, whatever illness I had is now making it’s way through the house. The Husband had a tickle and I immediately sent him to bed, bought a humidifier, Cold-Eeeze, and Ricola. I’ve been obsessed with the idea that stress is one of the things that can exacerbate illness, so I’ve demanded everyone be as stress-free as possible. No yelling, screaming, or tantrums. Please. He seemed to have escaped the worst of it, though now the 13 year old is laid up in bed. Oh well, the bug will cycle through the family and we’ll all move on. Hunkering and reducing stress seems like an okay way to spend what is shaping up to be a very very cold February.

Fun thing, though – the 13 year old finally had her birthday party sleepover over the weekend. She’s been doing this formula for three years now and I kind of love that. She has friends over on a Saturday night – they watch movies, YouTube videos, eat pizza, chips, rainbow cake, and stay up way too late. Sunday morning we have waffles and bacon and the kids all go see a movie. Even though her birthday was in January, it took us until February to find a good weekend, due to activities and my work schedule. (It seemed downright cruel to make the Husband be the only parent at home during a tween sleepover…) This weekend was perfect because they kids didn’t have Faith Formation classes on Sunday morning and Monday is a day off from school so we can all recuperate.

I’m really proud that the 13 year old did a lot of the planning herself for the first time. Granted the planning wasn’t terribly timely, but she did take on a lot of the mental load, so I’m calling it a win. Being a new phone owner, she sent all the invites herself, as in she texted her friends with the details and tracked who was going to come. I feel like we’re entering new territory where she can make plans with her friends on her own. No more mom-enabled play dates. There was still a little coordination to be done with other parents to coordinate drop offs and pick ups, but all in all, it feels like we are slowly taking baby steps towards the oldest being an independent being. Some days I stop and realize that she will be driving in THREE YEARS and I try not to freak out too much.

The set up – fruit, chips, chips, chips, cookies, and face masks!

Grateful for: I’m trying to be more mindful of big and little gratitudes this month, in honour of Elisabeth’s FIG (Finding Joy in Gratitude) Collective this month. Thank you Elisabeth for gathering people and thoughts! (There’s my first FIG right there!)

-YouTubers who share their expertise – There was a cushion on our basement couch that had lost a button and as a result was going all shapeless. After years of the Husband asking me if it was fixable, I finally decided that the misshapen pillow would not be worthy of our Super Bowl guests so I went to the craft store and bought upholstery needles. I still didn’t have much of an idea of how to fix this, so I turned the experts – YouTube to the rescue. I found a clear and simple tutorial on how to retuft a cushion and in less than twenty minutes, I had fixed the pillow and it was once again standing upright. I felt so accomplished. In the back of my 5 year journal I keep a list of new skills I learn each year. Button tufting is going on the list.

-Early release days for weather and being able to pick up my kid. I know not everyone can accommodate a last minute early release, so I’m really grateful that I’m in a slow period at work and that I could pick up the kid early when the school decided to close at 1pm for weather. We went to Trader Joe’s and even such a simple thing as running an errand, made for some great mommy-daughter time.

-Non-latex dishwashing gloves for my unfortunate combination of latex allergy and eczema.

-Remote start – I will be the first to tell you that I did not want an mini van. I still find it kind of scary to drive – it’s huge and I have no sense of where the rear end is. The thing is like driving around in a living room, seriously. BUT I am discovering many nice features, and this bitterly cold week, the remote start feature was amazing.

-International grocery stores and international communities. I wanted to make tikil goman (Ethopian cabbage, carrots, and potatoes) since we had cabbage and potatoes to use up. Meera Sodha’s recipe had instructions for a faux injera to eat alongside, and I was totally going to make that. But then I realized, “Wait, there is a a sizable Ethiopian population in our county. I should just get the real thing.” So I found an Ethiopian grocery store on the way home from Soccer Clinic and we picked up two packages of pillowy soft injera made fresh on the premises. It was delicious. We might have eaten half a package right out of the bag. How amazing it is to have so many international grocery stores in our area. (Also – I went down a rabbit hole reading Sodha’s column in the Guardian, The New Vegan. I want to make every recipe.)

-The Kids’ Skating instructor. She is amazing and kind and works so well with the kids.

-The track at the 8 year old’s school. I haven’t been running, because of the cold, but there is a track at the elementary school, and one day after drop off I walked four laps while listening to my audiobook. I’m so grateful that these things are open to the public. I remember when I was little, my parents would take us to the high school and make us run laps, and I hated it, but you know… the older I get, the more I see that my parents were really on to something.

-That the car is okay. I went over a curb funny and suddenly there was this horrible scraping noise when I drove. I pulled over seriously panicking that I had done some serious damage and wondering when I was going to have time to take the car in. After looking under the hood and around the tires, and not finding anything I got down on my hands and knees and reached under the car to see if I could feel anything. Like a detached muffler. (Not even sure if that’s a thing or if I was looking in the right area for such a thing.). Then my hand felt a twig and I gave a large tug and out came a four foot long branch. Oh thank goodness. Problem solved.

-Carpooling to work with my friend and picking up Starbucks (her) and cheesy buns (me) on the way home. Letting her convince me to buy a jelly donut, which I immediately eat in three bites, covering myself with powdered sugar in the process. I don’t regret it at all.

Also this bumper sticker we saw on the way:

There was quite an eclectic collection of bumper stickers on this truck.

And Some Sick Week FIGS:
-Windows. Three days sick in bed can make one tired of staring at the the walls of one’s bedroom. Except there are windows in those walls. And through those windows I could still see sunlight and clouds and sunsets and beautiful skies.

-Mucinex – I don’t usually take drugs when I’m sick, but boy did I need it this time; I was so congested I couldn’t breath or sleep.

-Kleenex.

-Rice cakes, ramen, and soup. Making lunch seemed like an impossible task when i was sick, but I also don’t like being hungry, so I did manage to make some simple soups. One day it was ramen with a cabbage, and an egg mixed in. Another day, it was a riff of this (Rice Cake Soup with Bok Coy and Edamame), though instead of chicken broth I made a “broth” by using water with kimchi tossed in. And I added dandelion greens and ginger because that’s what I had. The hot spicy filling goodness what just what I needed.

-Audiobooks – I mentioned above that I’m a terrible sick person because I get bored easily in bed. I did watch Bridget Jones’s Baby, but too much tv made my head hurt. Audiobooks to the rescue. I checked out a few rom coms from the library and listened to them. I only half paid attention to them, but the soothing voices and just enough plot was enough to calm my brain.

-The thirteen year old – who took care of the kids on the snow days when I was sick. I’m pretty sure she made them lunch and hot chocolate and let them watch inane YouTube videos all day. I know she did make them go outside for a little bit and play in the snow. But the important thing is she kept them out of the bedroom where I was sleeping.

-The Husband – who made dinner and put the kids to bed and basically solo parented while I was in bed.

-That I’m healing. The second day of being sick, I thought some yoga might heal my congestion, so I went on YouTube and searched “Yoga when sick” and a 15 minute gentle yoga video came up. It was just the easy practice that I needed to stretch a little and breathe. At the end of the video, Sara Beth said something that really stuck with me:
“Instead of telling yourself ‘I’m sick, I’m stuffy, I’m exhausted, I’m miserable’, tell yourself ‘I’m healing.’”
What a wonderful, gratitude-filled way to frame being sick. Rather than focus on how awful I’m feeling, reminding myself that the fever and mucus are all signs that my body is well enough to fight whatever it is that has me down, and that I’m healing.

Looking Forward To – so ironically two of my “Looking forward to” things from last week did not happen because I was sick – I didn’t go contra dancing and we didn’t enjoy a cozy snow day – but I think there is still great value in giving ourselves things to look forward to:

-Getting back into a routine after being sick.

-Voice recital that I’m doing supertitles for this week. There’s some really great music on the program and I always have a really long dinner break when I do this gig, so I’m looking forward to a nice evening walk.

-Finishing this book on audio. This was one of the books I started when I was sick and it’s pretty cute – a bit gimmicky, but not annoyingly so. (I also started another book that wasn’t as interesting, but perfectly soothing in the moment. I probably wont’ finish that one.)

What We Ate:
Monday: Cheesesteak sandwiches, leftover from the Super Bowl

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday. It’s getting to be a tradition. Chicken, shrimp, black beans, mango cabbage slaw, guacamole, salsa, pickled onions.

Wednesday: Sheet pan gnocchi with broccoli and cherry tomatoes. Vegan. (I think, though come to think of it, I’m not sure if we bought vegan gnocchi.)

Thursday: Noodles w/ tofu and mushrooms. The Husband made this. I couldn’t get out of bed to eat it that night, but I had leftovers on Saturday night and they were so delicious.

Friday: Pizza (Take out) and Skeleton Crew – the latest (I think) series in the Star Wars Franchise. This one stars a bunch of kids who seem to be very far from home. And Jude Law.

Saturday: The 13 year old’s sleepover. There was a lot of pizza (from Dominos), and chips. And Rainbow cake. We get this cake every year from our local deli/diner, which in turn get them from David’s Cookies. I ate leftovers from the fridge.

Sunday: Fend for yourself. I’m pretty sure the kids ate leftover movie popcorn and injera for dinner.

Hope you have a healthy week!

What are your go to comforts and cures when you’re sick? Who makes your face light up? Whose face do you make light up?

January Haikus

In the deep deep snow,
Footprints come and footprints go,
Show me where I’ve been.

Christmas lights, glow on,
Keep January festive,
Bring mid winter joy.

Step out in the cold –
if today is daunting
I’ve at least done this.

Gold pink clouds alit
with the oily opalescence
of an oyster shell.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Snack conundrum, February aspirations, and listening to

This week – work, family, federal chaos. I don’t know if I have the bandwidth to unpack all of that. Or even if I should/want to/etc.

So here are some less consequential things on my mind lately….

The snack situation at our house is pissing me off. It seems like the kids are constantly snacking. Okay, I’m going to be honest – what pisses me off the most is that they are taking my snacks. Specifically my peanut M&Ms. One of my snacks of choice to pack for work is a trail mix of pretzels, peanut M&Ms, and dried cherries. I bought a big bag of M&Ms to do this. (Rather, the Husband bought me a bag when he was at the grocery store.) The kids found it and the bag was nearly gone within the week. Ooooh the rage I felt. Anyhow – my options as I see it are:
1)stop buying Peanut M&Ms. This would make me sad.
2) Hide the peanut M&Ms better. But where? The kids are very persistent.
3) Give them better alternatives. Would this work? Would they eat the bowl of carrots I put out for them? Really they just want M&Ms.
4) have a no snacking rule. HAHAHAHAHA. Nope.
5) get over myself and let them eat the peanut M&Ms.

I realize this is completely irrational. Peanut M&Ms aren’t like beer – it’s not something I can pass off as a “Mommy snack.” I’m trying to think of why my kids can’t have Peanut M&Ms whenever they want in a way that doesn’t make me feel petty. (ie. they can’t have peanut M&Ms because the M&M are MINE!!!!!) Sigh. It’s really hard to be the bigger person in this parenting thing.

So anyhow I’m trying to think of better snacks.

Listening to lately – Despite my musing in my 2024 media diet post about my lack of music listening, I’ve been trying to rectify it somewhat. Some things I’m listening to:
–All Songs Considered. I am so not hip, but I like this podcast because they play music I’ve never heard of (honestly that’s not that difficult. My musical rolodex is quite limited) by artists I’ve never heard of (but probably should know about), and they tell you why they like the pieces.

-Our Tainan playlist. On the bus in Taiwan, I made a playlist by asking everyone in the family (my parents, my brother’s family’ the Husband and kids) to choose one song to add to the list. It’s a little all over the place, but I love listening it because it reminds me of my family:

-Okay you know what is unassumingly charming music? The soundtrack to Bluey. There is even a poppy version of Pachelbel’s Canon that doesn’t drive me batty. I’ve been playing this album when I want something cheerful in the background. The music embodies the happiness I want my kids to remember when they are grown,.

(Note – Pachelbel’s Canon is one of those pieces of music that makes me roll my eyes. Funny story – It was the one piece of music that I was adament would not be played at my wedding. The organist suggested it and was shut down rather quickly. But then, my parents arranged a wedding banquet in Taiwan for all their relatives. And what did the DJ play when the Husband and I entered? Pachelbel’s Canon. What could the Husband and I do but laugh?)

Some light aspirations for February:

-Register the 5 year old for kindergarten. This is one of two big “To Do” of February. She is for sure going to Kindergarten this fall. No one is stopping her.

– Start organizing forms for our tax person. This is the other big “To Do” for us. I start back at rehearsal at the end of March, so I need this done before then. Also our tax guy wants tax documents submitted two weeks before

-Schedule an appointment for window treatments. Now that I’ve donated the 20 year old car, this is the looming-perpetually-put-off item at the top of my to do list.

-Schedule an eye appointment. The situation is sad, friends. I haven’t had my eyes checked in four or five years and things just don’t look crisp anymore. I really need to fix this before I have to spend more time standing in the dark backstage trying to read music by the light of a tiny book light.

-Paint and send some cards.

-Work – clean out the office, organize the laptop situation, order spike tape. I have two supertitle gigs, so I want to make sure I get ahead of that work and not leave it to the last minute.

-home – 30 day declutter challenge. I found a Thirty Day Declutter Challenge online. I like that it’s in ten minute increments.

-write Taiwan/Kuala Lumpur trip recaps.

-Schedule time to see friends.

-Family game night.

-Make it to one of the 13 year old’s middle school basketball games.

-Valentine’s Day. Help the kids write their cards.

-Routine and Habit goals:
* yoga daily
* journal/ track habits daily
*1 vegan dinner a week. Trying to eat more vegetables.
*Go to bed before midnight.
*Read every day.

Grateful For – It’s been so uplifting to read read everyone’s FIGs via Elisabeth’s gratitude challenge. Here are some of my FIGS for the past week:
– The Husband showing me a beautiful sunset. He was on his way out the door to pick up one of the kids and he came back, saying, “Look at this sunset!” It was stunning, all orange-y pink incandescence.

-Hoodies with zippered pockets. Good for when I just stuff my keys in my pocket.

-Our gas grill and the tenant who left it for us. I was a charcoal grill person for the longest time, but then our tenant left behind a gas grill when she moved out. It’s not the same flavor, but it sure as hell is faster.

-Wifi at kids’ activities. Lets me get work done. Or blogging. Like right now at the Agility Center.

-Fresh baked muffins. And a batter that is sturdy enough to sit in the fridge for a few days so that I can make more on a whim.

-A commute home when I hit all the green lights. Makes me feel unstoppable.

-Parks and playgrounds nearby. I feel so lucky that we live somewhere that there’s usually a park or playground within a 10-15 minute radius of wherever we are, so if we have some awkward time to kill between activities, we can find a playground.

-Movie night and cuddles from the kids on the couch.

-The cherry tree in the living room isn’t dead after all. The Husband on a whim bought a cherry tree last year. It’s been living in our living room and for a while it was just sad and bare. But slowly, so slowly that I hadn’t even noticed, there has been green emerging from the brown branches. And this week, there was even a blossom.

Looking Forward To:
– Contra Dancing! There is a Thursday night contra dance this week near us. Looking forward to going with the family.

-Vanilla. So we ran out of vanilla this week. Or rather we ran out of vanilla at some point before this week and no one clocked it to put it on the grocery list before I wanted to make a big batch of muffins. I had some vanilla beans that my mother in law had bought me for Christmas one year. (Note, my mother in law passed away in 2016, so these have been in the pantry for a looooong time.) I’d been too intimidated to use the vanilla bean, but desparate times….

I scraped a vanilla pod into the muffins. then I read that you could make your own vanilla extract by sticking a vanilla pod in vodka and leaving it for six months. Well…. Last show, a singer had given me a tiny bottle of vodka for opening night. Alcohol is a common opening night present, but I don’t drink, so it’s often a conundrum of what to do with it. Well, this was perfect. I stuck a vanilla bean in that tiny bottle of vodka. And now I wait. For six months. I’m so excited. I also hope I remember it’s there in August.

Open in six months. I guess I have to remember where I put it in six months.

-Another snow day. Looking forward to hunkering, maybe baking. I have some meetings that I’ll take from home. Shhhhh… don’t tell the kids, but there might be movie marathon at some point so I can read. See next point.

-Reading this book:

This book was all the rage last year. It finally came off my holds as a seven day loan, so I’m madly trying to read it this week because if I don’t finish it, the waitlist for this book is like 2000 people long. It’s proving funny and sharp. Also makes me wonder if my wardrobe is boring and normal.

What We Ate:
Monday: Greek Salad and Zucchini Fritters. Vegan. (I used a flax egg for the fitters.)

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday. We had a friend over this time. I made grilled chicken, black beans, shrimp, mango-cabbage slaw. We had also pickled onions, guac, sour cream, avocados. Corn tortillas and wheat tortillas.

Wednesday: Random dinner – I used up the rest of the sunchokes by making another batch of sunchoke chips, and also steamed green beans. The Husband was out running and errand and came home with kung pao chicken and garlic pork.

Thursday: Waffles and tofu scramble (The Husband Cooked). This was our attempt at breakfast for dinner in an age of $10 eggs.

Friday: Pizza (The Husband made it) and Avengers: Civil War. A very unsatisfying movie.

Saturday: DogFish Head Brewery for the Husband’s birthday

Super Bowl Sunday: We had several friends over and there was so. much. food: we made cheeseteaks, dumplings, and snickerdoodles. Our friends brought: smoked turkey, chicken wings, white bean buffalo dip, brownies. There was also a lot of chips, Doritos (Cool Ranch and Regular), and cucumbers and carrots. Also, these Pringles:

I am pretty notorious in my circles for eating anything, but these were… not good. They were meaty with a green pepper aftertaste that tasted both surprisingly accurate and completely artificial.

Hope you have a lovely week!

What are you currently snacking on? What’s one song you would add to my playlist? Any big to do list items for February?

2024 Media Favorites

I try to track the media I consume – I like being able to look back on what went into my brain, and remember if I enjoyed it or not. I don’t have a very cohesive method of tracking, just random scribbles in my journal. I do make longer entries for live performances, though. Here are some things that I consumed that really stood out in 2024. I don’t know if these are my absolute favorites – I find I didn’t take really good notes last year, but these were things that stayed with me (I know these lists are usually posted in January or December even, but.. here you go…)

BOOKS
I read 59 books this year, mostly fiction. I think I’ve re-discovered that I like reading paper copies of books over ebooks. Certainly over reading books on my phone. I get distracted too easily when I read books on my phone.

I DNF books a lot. Not because I don’t like them, but because something more interesting comes along and other things fall to the wayside. I tend to “hate-read” books that I don’t like because I really want to see what happens. I should maybe let that go.

Favorite Reads 2024 :
Ministry of Time by Kalaine Bradley – Time travel isn’t usually my thing. But apparently if you mix time travel with a very attractive Victorian explorer, workplace politics, and political thriller and wrap that in a story that asks questions about what really is “progress”, I guess that ends up being my jam.

Landslide by Susan Conley – I loved this book set in Maine, about a mother of two teenage boys in trying to cope when her husband is injured in a fishing accident off the coast of Nova Scotia. It’s the kind of book that quietly pierces to the core of the beauty and heartbreak of every day life.

Green Island by Shawna Yang Ryan – This book – about Taiwan under martial law, about being an immigrant in America, about how a family deals with trauma and hardship – this book felt very deeply personal to me. These were the times that my parents lived in.

The Adventures of Amina el-Sarifi – Middle aged female pirate gathering a team together to carry out one last heist while battling magical creatures. There is a lot of that description that isn’t my usual jam, but 40 year old bad ass heroines certainly are.

Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions to Adulthood by Lisa Damour – Forget that cringey title, this books was super insightful for me in thinking about how to relate to my tween.

Audiobooks:
The Monsters We Defy by Lesley Penelope read by Shyana Small – I loved this audiobook so much that I borrowed the e-book from the library to read it again. I’m not one into fantasy, but the historical aspects set in 1920s DC provided a good gateway for me to sink into this story.

Ten Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hal, read by Will Watt – I really enjoy Alexis Hall’s books for their mix of humor and quirky yet human characters. Will Watt’s narration of this book upped that all for me. This cozy rom com of a book was like my favorite Richard Curtis movie in audiobook form.

PODCASTS:
I’d say next to books podcasts are the media I consume most. I tend to like podcasts that are long conversations about the human condition, or deep dives into something super niche. I do also listen to a lot of parenting podcasts.

House Calls with Vivek Murthy – I am so sad that Murthy, who was Surgeon General under Obama and Biden, will no longer be producing this podcast, what with him losing his job and all. When I think of podcasts that dissect the essence of what makes us human and how we connect to each other, this podcast is right there. I loved his interview with astronaut Kayla Barron – it’s probably my single most favorite podcast episode this year. In addition to the fascinating details on how one becomes and astronaut, Barron has so many wise words to say about life on earth. I had previously mentioned that she frames the ordinary with the extraordinary. (Fixing the treadmil… in space!) She also said something that has stuck with me about building diverse teams, and that is it’s not about diversity for the sake of diversity, it’s about bringing diversity of thought to a project. That’s so important to remember in the current anti-DEI times. Murthy’s interview with poet Ada Limon is also fantastic – it gave me a lot to think about how I spend my days. You’re going to have to find this podcast on your player because it is no longer available on the Health and Human Services website. wump wump.

Sold a Story: This series actually came out in 2022, though I found it still really relevant. It’s an investigative journalism series that looks at how children are being taught to read in America, specifically how a method that had no scientific backing was being used throughout schools.

Nice White Parents: A 5 episode podcast from 2020 that looks at how parents can shape public schools, and not necessarily for the benefit of everyone.

This is So Awkward – Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett are the experts I turn to when I feel like I’m failing at parenting a tween (now teenager). They provide the perfect blend of science and compassion for navigating this stage of parenting.

28-ish Days Later – podcast from the BBC that looks at the menstural cycle from both a biological and historical perspective. I especially appreciated the sentiment that our periods don’t make women weaker – after all what is stronger than being able to deal with having a different body every single day as we cycle though physical and emotional states?

MOVIES: I think I went to see two, maybe three, movies in the theatre last year. We watch movies at home, but mostly for family movie night. I find I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for watching movies on my own. As a result, most of our movie watching is not at all current.

Babes – My friend and I went to a midweek matinee of this movie last spring, when things were kind of slow at work. We laughed so so so hard at this movie. It stars Ilana Glazer and Michelle Buteau in a story about two best friends whose relationship is tested when the perpetually single one accidentally becomes pregnant. There are pregnancy jokes, pumping jokes, parenting jokes, BFF jokes… All of which fell in the “funny because it’s true” category. Was the movie stunningly original? Probably not, but that doesn’t make it any less wonderful. Why haven’t more people seen this movie????

Family Movie Night: Pizza and movie night is a staple at our place. Usually on a Friday night or a Saturday night. Some of our (MY) favorites this year that we watched with the kids (who were 12, 7, and 4):
-Night at the Museum – action and excitement
-Next Goal Wins – heartwarming soccer movie. Also Michael Fassbender is dreamy.
-Greatest Showman – we watch this at least twice a year, singing along loudly
-Barbie – subversive bubble gum fun, that had me in tears at the end.
-Mitchells vs. the Machines – Animated movies aren’t my default pick for movie night – I’m trying to watch more live action things. But this movie was delightful and heart-warming.

TELEVISION
Family TV Night: This year we really leaned into family TV night rather than family movie night. What with everyone’s activities, a 30 or 60 minute episode of something was just the right length to fit in between basketball practice and bedtime. Favorite shows we watched:
-Gallivant. WHY WHY WHY was there only two seasons of this family friendly, funny, entertaining show?
-Glee. Some of the subject matter was awkward to explain, but the musical numbers had us all bobbing along.
-Bad Batch, The Acolyte, and really anything in the Star Wars Universe. When we don’t know what to watch, Star Wars
-Star Trek: The Next Generation. When we were vacationing on an Island in Maine, we watched ST:TNG non stop for three days. It didn’t feel as dated as I thought it would.
-The Summer Olympics. So exciting to watch.
-Bluey. I don’t know why it took us this long to get into Bluey. The episodes are short and feel so true to life, perfect way to unwind before bedtime. (Like the one where the kids drop their ice cream cone and declare to dad, “It’s not fair!” and Dad says, “That’s about as fair as it gets, actually.” Made me howl with laughter.)
-Brooklyn 99 and Modern Family. When we just want to spend 22 minutes laughing.

Grown Up Show for Me: I don’t watch a whole lot of TV – mostly because I often would rather read a book at night to wind down. But I do like watching TV as I clean the kitchen, and occasionally I’ll watch something with the Husband. I for sure don’t watch all the shows that are hip or trendy or buzzy. To be honest, I feel like a lot of the stuff that everyone is watching is too violent or gritty or serious or sad for me. Like I’ll scroll through Hulu and every show seems to feature people glaring and sullen. When I do watch something, it’s usually a half hour comedy. We don’t have Netflix, but we do have Hulu, Disney, Max, Peacock, and Prime. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out by not having Netflix, but I figure there will always be something to watch on the services that we do have, so my sense of FOMO is kind of unnecessary. Some of my favorite shows I watched in 2024:

-Starstruck (Max)- So funny and sweet and relatable, this show is about Jess who has a one night stand with a huge movie star and the fall out from that. I don’t usually like protagonists who are screw ups, but there is something so fresh and honest about Jess that I ended up loving her. I’m half way through the last season and I can’t bring myself to finish watching it because I don’t want it to end.

-Sort Of (Max)- Gender fluid Sabi navigates the dynamics within their Pakistani family and their job as a nanny. This is a show about learning to accept yourself and those around you.

-Acapulco (Apple) – Cute show, told in flashbacks, about young Maximo who starts out as a pool boy at a luxury Mexican resort and rises through the ranks. I like this show for it’s feel-good, sunny humour and the 80s playlists.

-English Teacher (FX/Hulu) – Really funny and sharp comedy about a gay teacher in Austin trying to fight the system and sometimes giving up.

LIVE PERFORMANCES
High School/Middle School Musicals. I didn’t do theatre in middle school or high school. (Shocking, I know, considering it’s now what I do for my job.), so I didn’t really grow up going to school plays. Turns out the high schools in our area do really great shows. This year we saw Beauty and the Beast and A Year with Frog and Toad at the high school as well as middle school productions of Annie and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They were all delightful. There is something special about going to see a show where you know the kids onstage and where you’ll run into people you know in the audience, a show where things probably won’t be perfect, but everyone is having a once in a life time experience. The high school is doing Secret Garden this spring – I CAN’T WAIT!!!

Silent Night – is this cheating if it’s a show I worked on myself?. I love this opera so much. The music, the story, the bagpipes. I feel so lucky that I got to work on it again this year, and that I got to hear this exquisite score played over the course of four performances.

The Play That Goes Wrong – I think sometimes we go to the theatre to be moved to tears. I know certainly that’s true for opera – we want to see the soprano die and everyone to be devastated. But this play, about an amateur production of a murder mystery where everything goes wrong, made me laugh and laugh and laugh so hard. From identifying with the Stage Manager who loses track of the place and forgets to run a sound cue, to the actors forgetting their lines, to the doorknobs that keep falling off the set. This was an exquisitely timed masterpiece of comedy. Some of the technical aspects were amazing.

ART and MUSEUMS
Mary Cassatt at the Philadelphia Museum of Art – I’ve always been a fan of Cassatt’s art, and this exhibit was a wonderful exploration of her process.

National Museum of Taiwan History in Tainan – My cousin recommended this museum to us, and I’m really glad we made time to go while we were in Taiwan. It was a really well laid out and comprehensive look at Taiwan from it’s early days as a trading port through all the various states of occupation, to present day history.

Museum of Islamic Art in Kuala Lumpur – Stunning art and fascinating history. It was eye opening to see the intersection of Muslim and Asian cultures.

Lobster Museum in Swann’s Island, Maine – Okay so this was basically some guy’s attic collection of lobster men memorabilia that the town decided to put into a building, but I loved it.

Dorothea Lange: Seeing People at the National Gallery of Art – The title says it all – haunting portraits taken by Lange throughout the years. Some well known and iconic, and some that were new to me. The pictures taken in Japanese internment camps were especially poignant.

Pattens and Paradox: The Quilts of Amish Women at the American Art Museum – I learned so much about the art of quilts from this exhibit, which also make me think about the women who made quilts and the intersection between art and functionality and folk art and high art.

MUSIC – Looking at this list, I’m realizing one thing that’s missing is music. I don’t listen to a lot of music in a curated way. That is to say I don’t tend to listen to specific artists or albums. If I want to listen to something I’ll often just listen to the radio and see what serendiptiy brings, or I’ll type some inspirational words, like “Happy dinner” or “Bluegrass excercise” into Spotify or Apple Music and see what play lists come up. I think this is partly because I am surrounded by music at work, so music isn’t the first thing I turn to in my liesure time. Even still I do get a lot of enjoyment from music. This year, I re-discovered the joy of big romantic sweeping musicals (Scarlet Pimpernel, Titanic, etc.), and of just listening to the classical music station when I needed to decompress. As a family we listen to a lot of Disney songs and musicals (SIX is a favorite), and whatever the husband has playing on Pandora (his mix is pretty eclectic, but always has a strong beat and a good tune). Do I feel like I need to change my music habits? Not really. I do feel like I’m out of the pop culture loop, but hey I can’t keep up with everything.

That’s it for my 2024 Media favorites. What about you? Any favorite books/podcasts/movies/tv shows/music/art/ etc. that you discovered in 2024? What music do you recommend for me?
Any goals and aspirations for your media consumption in 2025?

Weekly recap + what we ate: Some adventures and January Highlights

I think this week was the first time I noticed that there is more and more sunlight in the evenings. I was driving home at 4:30pmd, after pick up one day, and I noticed that the sky was still light. It’s February! Spring is coming.

It was an eventful week at home. We started off kind of rough with our second visit to the emergency room with a child ever. I guess in 13 years of parenting, having to go to the emergency room twice is a pretty good go. (The first time was last year while we were in Berkeley with my brother.) What happened was the oldest child had fallen and hit her head during her Sunday basketball game and still wasn’t feeling great on Monday morning, so the Husband took her to the ER. (So I guess technically I didn’t go to the ER, just the Husband and the 13 year old.)

After five hours, they were seen with the diagonosis being “mild concussion.” She was told to take it easy and no basketball games for a week. Practice was okay, but no games because they didn’t want to risk another head injury. I’ve never had to deal with a concussion before, so this was new and worrisome to me. (Well I did have an incident once onstage where a singer ran into another singer too hard during a fight scene and got a concussion, but I didn’t have to deal with that other than to fill out the accident form and send the singer to management.)

The thing about a mild concussion is that there’s not a lot we could do except limit activity and stay vigilant. So it felt like we were hovering between being on high alert and not having to do anything about it. We did go back to the doctor on Friday when there was some vomiting and general sluggishness, but we were told that it can take up to two weeks to feel normal again. So wait and see, I guess.

Wednesday the kids were off school because it was a grading day, and I took the two older kids on our New York City adventure. The day deserves its own post, but here are some picture highlights:

Wednesday night was when that awful plane and helicopter collision happened over the Potomac. I didn’t know about it until after we got home from New York. DCA is such an important airport in this area- we fly out of it all the time. At work, I often see planes headed that way or coming from DCA, and helicopters are constantly flying overhead. Some of the footage of the collision was taken from the rooftop camera on our building. It all feels very close. There is something really cruel to me about the Potomac these days. Just last month, a pick up truck went off the Memorial Bridge, plunging into the river and now this. I can’t help but to think that Potomac is angry about something. Which I know sounds crazy, but I think that’s just the way things feel in D.C. right now.

The rest of the week, I worked from home, and it was a week full of meetings, so I felt like I spent a lot of time on Zoom. I like the flexibility of working from home, but I feel like I sometimes get distracted. After getting off a call, I would need a brain break and I’d go do laundry or read a chapter of my book, or what not, and then it would be hard to sit back down at my computer. I might go into the office next week so that I can focus better.

Saturday we had a little adventure to Havre de Grace, MD. It’s a little town on the bay, at the mouth of the Susquehanna River, about 90 minutes drive from us. We picked Havre de Grace because we wanted to explore a new to us museum that was on the list of “Reciprocal Museums” that we could see with our Walker Art Museum membership. On that list was the Duck Decoy Museum in Havre de Grave. YES! A WHOLE museum devoted to duck decoys.

I thought it would be a quaint little one room affair. Friends, this museums was two stories – three huge rooms of duck decoys and duck decoy adjacent exhibits. The information was fascinatingly niche. There were certain craftsmen who got a whole exhibit case to themselves, complete with life sized mannequins. The museum reminded me a lot of the handicraft wing in the American Art Museum, and made me realize how readily accessible creative pursuits are to everyone. These were not men (and they were all men, mostly White) who went to school to learn how to carve duck decoys. Most of them did this as a hobby while holding down jobs – grocers, post masters, military me. It was inspiring in a lot of ways, reminding me that I should also take time to do creative things.

Did you know that Cecil County duck decoys are characterized by a flatter tail and rounder body?

Just one of the many walls of duck decoys.

The tools and process of making duck decoys.

We continued our day in Havre de Grace with a walk to a playground so the kids could run off energy:

Then we went to Mass at a beautiful little church there. I’m not Catholic, but it’s always interesting to me to go to Mass at different churches and see how even when the people are different, the rituals are all the same. Afterwards we went out to dinner at a tasty seafood restaurant. It was a lovely little half day trip, all in all.

Well, it’s already February. Hard to believe at the beginning of this month we were on another continent. Some January highlights:
-Making it home from our Asia trip.
-Yoga (almost) every day. I’ve been doing 10-20 minutes of yoga a day, and there were two days when it didn’t happen, both days that I was travelling. Though when I think of it, I could have probably fit in something on those days. I even did 15 minutes of standing yoga the day we were stuck in the Seattle Airport for nine hours.
-Snow Days, snow delays, and sledding.
-Celebrating birthdays for the 13 and 8 year olds.
-Candy cane beets and crunchy winter salads
-The start of basketball season for the 13 year old.
-our NYC trip to see Hadestown.
-Dumpling date with my friend K.
– A very smooth and enjoyable rehearsal process for the new works that I stage managed.
-A January that felt like a real winter, and just long enough to not feel endless.
-Ice skating. The two little kids are taking skating lessons. They are now in the same class, so I go skating while they are in lessons. I listen to an audiobook while I glide around the rink. I have a vague goal of learning how to do a backward crossover.
-A cozy MLK day at home with scones and cookies and reading and games.
-playing Skyjo.
-That Duck Decoy Museum.

Some January lowlights:
-the 13 year old’s minor concussion.
– not getting out and running – the weather has been so cold. I know last year I ran in 20 degree weather, but I couldn’t rally to do it this winter.
– WTF is going on with the new administration? I mean it’s very clear that there is a strategy of strewing confusion and panic wide in hopes that no one will know how to fight back. The stress and worry and confusion is palatable in the air everywhere here. I try to limit my intake of news, but it affects so many people here that I feel like I should have some idea a what is going on.

Grateful For – Elisabeth has a series going on this month (just this month?) Called FIG (Finding joy In Gratitude). I usually include at least three things I’m grateful for in these posts, but for February, I thought I’d aim for seven things:

– Glimmers of sunlight still lingering at 4:30pm.

-Reciprocal museum memberships. How else would we have discovered the Duck Decoy museum?

-The old Subaru. Welp I did it. I took my old car in and donated it to the technical program at the high school. It wasn’t as emotional as I thought I was, which I guess means that it was time, but I still felt sad about it. That car served its previous owner for nine years and then served us for almost another thirteen years. It drove me to Colorado and back four times and ferried all of our children around when they were babies. I’m really grateful for that car. And for the friend who sold it to us.

– Smiles and laughter and hugs from the 5 year old at pick up time.

– Pianos and music making and my parents for signing me up for piano and voice lessons when I was a child. I spent an hour noodling around on the piano one evening. I don’t do that enough.

-Medical insurance and living four blocks from the hospital.

-That we are no longer in a pandemic. We watched a documentary this week – “Cirque du Soleil: without a Net” about what happened the the Cirque show O when the pandemic hit and then how the show came back. It was a little surreal to think back on March of 2020. When we asked the two little kids (8 and 5) if they remembered the COVID pandemic, they said “no”, and the 13 year old tried to explain it to them. That was interesting to hear her account. But also she talked about parts of being stuck at home and not having to go to school that she enjoyed, and that is something that I don’t think about very often. But all in all, I am glad that we aren’t living in a pandemic any more. Not necessarily because we were forced to stay home, but rather because that time of uncertainty was so so so so stressful.

Looking Forward To:
–February! We had our family meeting on Saturday and in addition to looking at the week, we flipped our calendar pages and looked at the whole month. There’s a lot to look forward to in February – birthdays, Super Bowl, some interesting gigs for me. It’s going to be a full month, but I’m not in rehearsal, so it will be a good month for quite evenings at home too.
– Every day things. I was inspired by all the comments on last week’s post on routines and a “boring” life. I loved this comment from Melissa:
“I probably get a ridiculous amount of satisfaction from making the bead and opening the curtains so the sun streams in.”
The comments made me think about how I take these boring routines for granted sometimes. So this week, I’m going to make it a goal to look forward to doing these every day things the best I can. This week, I’m looking forward to:
-Making the bed every day, nice and neat.
-Wiping down the counters at the end of the night so that they are clean in the morning.
-Lining my shoes up in the boot tray when I come home.
-putting the window shades up to see the sun.

What We Ate:
Monday: Butternut Squash and Fennel Risotto. I always think risotto is a good idea, and then I make it and I remember that I don’t actually like eating rice as a main.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday – We had a taco bar: Chipotle Chicken and Black Beans, Shrimp, mango cabbage slaw, pickled onions, guac, avocado, sour cream. The 8 year old wanted to try hard tacos, so that’s what we did, and they were tasty.

Wednesday: New York City – the kids and I had burgers after the show.

Thursday: Sunchokes and chicken. The Husband sliced the sunchokes thin and then baked them, so they were like chips.

Friday: Pizza (homemade by the Husband. He even make an Indian one with tikka masala sauce rather than tomato sauce. I think I liked that one more than other people.) for the movie, originally I had picked The Mummy, but the kids declared it was too scary after about 10 minutes, so we switched to we watched Cirque du Soleil: Without a Net.

Saturday: Dinner in Havre de Grace. I hade the Bouillabase. It was tasty

Sunday: Scrounge for yourself. The Husband made the kids egg sandwiches. I had an amazing loaded sweet potato – roasted chick peas, sour cream, cilantro, avocado, and green onions. I’ve never thought to load a sweet potato the way I load a baked potato and I have to say, I was missing out. This was so delicious. Or maybe that’s just the sour cream talking?

I don’t take pictures of everything I eat, but this was really tasty.

Hope everyone is having a lovely first week of February!

Ask Me Anything #2

I’m working my way through the questions that folks were kind enough to submit during NaBloPoMo, but which I never got around to answering.

These questions are from Maria!

What brought you to DC (or are you a native)?
I came to DC in 2003 for a Stage Management internship at my current opera company. After that internship I freelanced around the country for a few years, stage managing for a variety of opera companies. Even still, I had met my husband-to-be by the end of my DC internship, and he lived in DC, so I was pretty persistent about checking in with the opera company in DC to see if there were job openings. And then in 2006, an Assistant Stage Manager position opened up, I applied and was hired. I move here (ish) – I still freelanced a bit around the country at the time, but I’ve pretty much been based here ever since.

Best little known things to see in DC?
Oooh! So many. Some of my favorite off the beaten path things:
–Lincoln’s Cottage – this is the house in NW DC where Lincoln lived during the Civil War. While the house itself is rather bare, I think this is one of the best tour experiences in D.C. The tour guide takes you through the house and part of the tour is asking the participants questions and leading discussions about the decisions that Lincoln had to make as President. This is a great tour for anyone interested in engaging with history. Even though this museum does charges a fee, but I think it’s worth it. Lincoln’s cottage is the #1 thing I recommend to history buffs who have seen all the Museums on the Smithsonian Mall already.
-If you’re visiting Lincoln’s Cottage, I would also suggest visiting the Franciscan Monastery Gardens, about two miles away. This is one of the loveliest and most peaceful places in D.C.
–Frederick Douglass House – The Frederick Douglass National Historic site is a great foil to Lincoln’s cottage. The house itself can only be seen via a guided tour, but the grounds are open to visitors and has a lovely view of DC. There is a very dated film at the visitor’s center, which I found a little cringe-y to watch, but also fascinating. The house is in Anacostia, an area of town that is, honestly, not pretty and touristy like the National Mall and not a lot of people think to visit, but I think visiting can give people a more complete sense of DC.
–The Old Post Office Tower – So everyone wants to go up the Washington Monument when they are here. I’ve been up exactly once, and it is highly recommended if you can make it work. BUT tickets to the Washington Monument are really had to come by. So I offer an alternative: The Old Post Office Tower gives a spectacular view of the city and you don’t need tickets to visit. The line periodically can be long, but there’s a nice display along the way of the history of D.C.
-The Kennedy Center – Okay, so this is not little known place, but my favorite things about it are not well known: 1) they have FREE performances every Wednesday through Saturday at 6pm, and 2) the rooftop has an amazing view. So even if you don’t have tickets to see a show, it makes a nice stop to go up to the top and see the view and then catch a short performance afterwards.
–National Postal Museum – My favorite Smithsonian Museum to visit with the kids, though I don’t think the kids quite love it as much as I do because they really have no concept of how important snail mail is. I love it because a) I think the subject matter is fascinating, b) there are a lot of hands on activities for the kids – like sorting mail! Ride a mail wagon!, c) it’s never crowded, d) It’s right next to a metro stop, so it’s a really easy trip.
–Glenstone Museum – this museum is a bit out in the suburbs, but if you are into contemporary art, sculpture installations, and beautiful grounds, I highly recommend Glenstone Museum. They have a nice restaurant there too, so it’s a nice place to go with friends where you can chat, take a walk, see art, and grab a bite. It’s free, but you have to reserve tickets.

Favorite opera (to watch and to work)?
My favorite opera is The Marriage of Figaro. The story is ridiculous – the men are all kind of insecure jerks – but the music makes you believe that everything will be okay. It’s also an opera I’ve worked on six or seven times so I can watch a production without needing to read the supertitles, and that makes the experience more enjoyable for me.
As for working on – this is hard because so much of what makes an opera my favorite to work on has to do with the people I’m working with. But if all things were equal, some of my favorite things to work on is contemporary opera. There is just such a different energy in the room when you’re working on a new piece. I’ve been lucky to work on a couple world premieres and a couple operas where we are giving the second production and where things are still being re-written and that’s exciting. Also Benjamin Britten. I would love to work on any Benjamin Britten operas that I can.

What was your cloth diaper experience like? (I currently am on my third cloth diapered baby and am curious about your experience!)
I could write a lot about cloth diapers! I was mildly obsessed with them for a long time. I spend countless hours researching cloth diaper options, browsing cloth diaper websites, reading cloth diaper forums online, thinking about my laundry routine, trying out different diapers….

I knew I wanted to try cloth diapering from my very first baby. I was just really intrigued by the idea from an environmental standpoint and also because thought it would save money. (I’m not entirely sold on the cost savings for me…). We actually signed up for a cloth diaper class, but then my oldest was born a few weeks early and I had to send my Husband to the class on his own because I was still in the hospital. There are also a lot of apocryphal benefits to cloth diapers like being gentler on the skin and making potty training easier. I have to say I don’t really have direct evidence of this. I have one kid who toilet trained at 2.5 and one who didn’t figure it out til nearly 4. My kids did still periodically get diaper rash. Also people say cloth diapers are cheaper, and yes, by the third child we had a big enough stash of cloth diapers that we spent very little money on diapers, but the initial outlay is quite substantial.

Like breast vs. formula feeding, and really many things in life, cloth diapers is not an all or nothing endeavor. We did a mix of cloth and disposable diapers. We mostly used prefolds and covers. (Prefolds are rectangular cotton diapers that you fold around the baby and then you put a waterproof diaper cover over top.). At night we either used disposable diapers or pocket diapers. (Pocket diapers are diapers with a fleece or microfiber layer that you stuff with an absorbent inside, so they absorb well but also feel dryer against the baby’s bum because of that microfiber/fleece layer.).

We had one daycare that was okay with cloth diapers and one that did not allow them. We had another kid who used disposable at day care and cloth at night. (The third kid was born during the pandemic and didn’t go to daycare until she was practically toilet trained.) We had one kid who used cloth diapers during the day and disposables at night. We had another kid who used disposable at day care and cloth at night. It was all about what worked for us and the kid at the point in time.

For anyone one considering cloth diapers, I would say two things:
1) you have to be okay with doing a lot of laundry. We did a load of diapers every two or three days.
2) you have to be okay touching poop and with smelling poop. With cloth diapers, you have to rinse the poop off before you wash them. We had a diaper sprayer in our bathroom (still do) for this, but the poop can still go everywhere. My mother used to rinse poopy diapers by swishing the diaper right in the toilet. I found that touching poop was pretty unavoidable.

What I liked about cloth diapers:
1) Less trash. A kid goes through 6-8 diapers a day. That’s a lot of trash.
2) I wasn’t constantly buying disposable diapers. I think every few months I would buy one giant pack of diapers from Costco and that would last us a good long while.
3) Cloth diapers are soooo cute.
3) I never worried about running out of diapers because I knew I could just wash more diapers if I ever ran out.

Things I didn’t love about cloth diapers:
1) They can be fussy. If I didn’t wash them right they sometimes got really smelly or lost absorbancy.
2) the above mentioned laundry and poop.
3) They do tend to leak, in my experience more so than disposable diapers. I didn’t actually care that much about this, but I’m going to be honest, I found that all diapers would leak if you don’t change them frequently.
4) They do make the baby’s butt really big so you have to size up in pants.

Baby #3 with a monkey print cloth diaper. So cute!

Thanks for the questions, Maria! Those were fun things to think about!

If anyone wants to submit questions for me to answer in a future Ask Me Anything post, you can do so at this link.

What brought you to where you live? Or do you live where you grew up? Have you ever had to change a diaper? What’s the best view where you live? Do you like museums for history or for art?

Weekly recap + what we ate: bitter and boring

Ice patterns on the creek, as seen on a winter walk.

It’s been a week, hasn’t it? My mind is spinning. When I think about this week, the word “bitter” comes to mind.

For one, bitter bitter cold. We had two days of delayed start to school because the cold caused morning freezes. Coming off the holiday weekend, it wasn’t the worse way to ease ourselves into the week, but I can say that since I have the luxury of being able to take my morning meetings from home. I’m sure the two hour delays were very disruptive to a lot of people. After two years of mild winters, I actually kind of love this bitterly cold January that we’ve been having. (Winter made my gratitude list last week…). It makes me more eager for spring in a way that I haven’t felt for a while. Who know if I will feel like this in another few weeks, but for now, I’m embracing the bitter cold.

The other bitter thing about the week was the days following inauguration. Well, even inauguration day too, I guess. A bitter pill to swallow. All of it. And getting more terrifying as the days go on. There are so many people who work for the federal government around here – the air is decidedly grim. I have no new words to say about this all. I try not to read the news, and then worry that I’m uninformed. I have learned that ostriches don’t really bury their heads in the sand – they look like they are when really they are looking after their eggs which they lay in holes in the ground. (Since, you know, ostriches don’t nest in trees.) I feel like there is a metaphor here – I’m not burying my head in the sand, I’m tending to my young…

MLK day, we had a cozy day as planned. I baked scones, we read books, we went on a snowy walk, we watched Modern Family, we had dumplings. We even spent an hour cleaning the toy room, while listening to the inauguration. I tried not to swear out loud too much in front of the kids as I listened to the address, but really, maybe I didn’t need to restrain myself. I debated whether or not to stream the ceremony, but ultimately, politics aside, I thought it was important to witness that process and for the kids to understand how power passed in this country. I don’t think the younger kids completely understood it. But they all know for sure, that I am very disappointed in the results of the election.

I worked from home all week, save for one day when I went in for a 90 minute meeting. I got to ride in and back with my friend so I was actually happy to go in even for a brief time. This is how my friend and I hang out during opera season – carpools and schedule meetings. It’s kind of our version of running Target errands together, I guess. Anyhow, the rest of the week I worked form home. Sometimes when I work from home I forget to eat lunch, so I was really pleased with myself that I threw together this salad. Isn’t it pretty?

It’s chopped up cucumbers, candy cane beets, olive oil, salt, pepper, lemon juice, and fresh dill. I liked this so much I ate it again the next day, adding half a can of chickpeas for some protein. All the fresh vegetables were wonderful on a winter’s day. Highly recommend!

We’ve also been on an oatmeal kick in our house lately. Something about chilly mornings makes oatmeal seem like the perfect breakfast. The kids eat their oatmeal with milk, frozen blueberries, and copious amounts of brown sugar. I like to have my oatmeal savory, so I’ve been having my oatmeal with sweet potato, a boiled egg, and scallions, all of it toped with a sprinkle of sesame oil, rice wine vinegar, and soy sauce. It’s kind of like congee, but made with oatmeal instead of rice.

The oatmeal is *not* as pretty as the salad above, but it is just as tasty.

Thinking about:
I recently read two articles that had me thinking about how underrated the every day pedestrian life was. First there was this article in the Guardian, “I’ve Had the Same Supper for 10 Years.” It’s a profile of Wilf Davies, a sheep farmer in Wales who, as the title says, eats the same thing every day for supper. He’s only left his farm in Whales once, thirty years ago. At one point he says:

“People might think I’m not experiencing new things, but I think the secret to a good life is to enjoy your work. I could never stay indoors and watch TV. I hear London is a place best avoided. I think living in a city would be terrible – people living on top of one another in great tower blocks. I could never do it. Walking around the farm fills me with wonder. What makes my life is working outside, only going in if the weather is very bad.”

Then there was this article in the New York Times, “How a Driving Instructor Spends Her Sundays.” The NYTimes’ series “How ____ Spends their Sundays” usually features people who seem to me impossibly cool – local celebrities, entrepreneurs, athletes swanning around to brunch and coffee and workouts and dinner parties and Pilates class. This feature, though, this one was different. Shanti Gooljar, gets up at 5 am, and spends the day teaching people how to drive, goes home, has cream of wheat for dinner, watches Yellowstone, and goes to bed by 8:30pm. It’s not glamourous or hip, but it feels oh so real. After her husband died, she says, “my family wanted me to go to Florida — my mom is there, and my brothers and sisters. But I’m at the age where I like the same routine.”

I’m sure there are people who might read about Davies and Gooljar and dismiss their lives as boring and dull, but I was struck in these two articles by how content Davies and Gooljar were. And I know you can’t always get the full story in a newspaper article, but they did seem like they found great satisfaction in the unexceptional rhythms of their days. How different their lives and expectations were from the pressure I feel to fill my days with adventures and excitement. It got me thinking – what I do on an average, say, Thursday – the getting up, packing lunches, carpool, meetings, pick ups, dinners, cleaning up – is that just the tedious parts of existence, what I do to fill and enable the more exciting and exotic parts? Is that the boring part of life?

And then I think of Wilf Davies who sees the world of beauty in a cuckoo’s call or the view from the top of his valley, who sees all of humanity in his sheep. Or how Shanti Gooljar finds so much satisfaction in running her driving school and hiring the right people. And I envy how at peace they seem to be with their lives. Don’t get me wrong – I think there is so much to see and do in this world – and I for one would be sad if I never got to eat roti ever again. Yet at the same time, I wonder if the people who are the most content are the ones who are able to find as much joy and satisfaction in the every day routines and rhythms of life as they are to find it in new and novel experiences. I think there’s great satisfaction to be had in the consistency of pedestrian life – perhaps routine can kind of free your mind to see beauty in the things around you. And perhaps you can’t chase contentment abroad if you cannot find it at home?

Grateful for:

-Fleece Lined pants. I ordered these fleece lined pants form Duluth Trading Company when they were on sale at the beginning of the month, and they have been amazing! I wear them for walks in the cold, for standing outside waiting for the bus, even for hanging out at home because for some reason our thermostat is set at 66 degrees. (It’s a setting leftover from when I was working and there was no one at home during the day… I should shift it, but I always forget until I’m already cold.) These pants are so cozy and warm. What they say about “No bad weather, just bad clothing”, well I feel like these pants perfectly summed that up for me this week.

-The middle kid who turned eight. He is such a cerebral, goofy kid, bringing equal parts joy and frustration to my life. We celebrated with a special birthday dinner on the actual day and then he had a birthday party with a six friends at the duckpin bowling alley. It was a perfect size party, in my opinion. Also – he’s now old enough to stay home by himself legally in Maryland, but when I broached the subject with him, his eyes got really wide and he said, “I think I would be scared.” So I guess that’s not something that will happen soon. But it’s good to know that if I did storm out of the house in anger and left him by himself I would not have CPS knocking at my door.

-Trails for snowy walks. On Saturday, we had to run some errands in the morning before the bowling alley birthday party. We were so efficient that we got our errands done 30 minutes before we were due at the bowling alley. So we decided to stop at a trail on the way for a brief snowy ramble. (“This feels like a hike,” the five year old said. I can’t pull one over her, that’s for sure.) This particular trail is tucked next to the shopping Plaza with a Trader Joe’s, and you wouldn’t guess that it was there. But apparently this little creek gorge was a favorite place of Teddy Roosevelt’s – funny to think this little patch of nature about ten miles from the White House was once considered “getting out of town”. These days, it’s proximity to a major road makes it pretty popular and it’s far from pristine – I imagine it’s where kids go to make out, and there’s often discarded alcohol bottles around. But even still, I think it’s a beautiful little rocky corner of nature and I feel so lucky that it’s just right there.

From the placard at the trail. “Excepting Great Falls it is the most beautiful place around here.”

-For fresh baked cookies. On MLK Day, we wanted to make cookies, and since I had made chocolate/walnut scones, I wanted to make a non-chocolate cookie. I settled on Molasses cookies from the King Artur’s Baking Companion. The dough needed to be chilled overnight, so I didn’t actually make the cookies on MLK Day. The next day, I pulled the dough from the fridge, and instead of whipping up the whole batch of cookies, I just made six cookies and put the batter back in the fridge. And the next day, I just made a few more cookies, as many as we could eat in one go. And so on – the batter lasted all week. Indeed, I am inhaling the aroma right now as I sit typing next to the kitchen. I rather like this bake-as-you-go method of cookie baking – we always have fresh cookies and the house will always smell divine.

-That I live somewhere equipped for snow. Granted our schools had a two hour delay twice last week for the icy conditions, but I’m glad that the streets were clear so the the ice could be treated. I have a colleague who is currently in Houston and his rehearsals were cancelled because it snowed there and the city was not equipped to deal with the snow, shutting many things down.

-That I still get to work from home. So many people are getting summoned back to in person work, some with merely a weekend’s notice. How do the people who make these decisions think that people can accommodate this on such short notice?

Looking forward to:

-Our trip to NYC this week! The hardest thing will be getting the kids up early to get on the 5am metro to Union Station, but after that, I hope things will be pretty simple. (I realized that it probably would have been easier if I had gotten tickets out of the second stop on the train since that’s about a twenty minute drive from home and we could have left the house closer to 6am. Oh well. Next time.) I’ve bookmarked Kinokuniya, a Japanese Manga/Stationary store for us to visit, and it’s also next to the New York Public Library, which might be a fun place to duck into for a few minutes. I know I wrote up above about the joy of a boring life – clearly I don’t want my life to be too boring.

-Dumplings with my friend K, who I haven’t seen since the beginning of December. Looking forward to catching up. (This happened today. Dumplings were delicious and we’ve agreed to be better about scheduling time together – we have our date on the calendar already for March 1st since she’ll be travelling in February.)

– A family adventure day coming up next week. At our weekly family planning meeting, I realized that we had next Saturday completely open – no kids’ activities, I didn’t have to work, there were no plans of any kind. A free Saturday is very rare for us, so we’ve decided to have an adventure. It might be as simple as going on a hike. We might make it as far as going up to Longwood Gardens. Not sure what we’ll do yet, but a free day on the calendar is such a delicious thing.

What we ate:

Monday: Noodles and dumplings – we went out to eat.

Tuesday: Chicken sweet potato Thai inspired curry, recipe from Dinner Illustrated. This was hugely tasty and the kids loved it.

Wednesday: Cabbage Soup. Loosely based on this recipe from the New York Time. I used dill instead of parsley and Italian herbs because there was a comment that made me laugh: “Italian seasoning has no room in Eastern European cabbage soup. Use fresh dill instead.” So I did. Vegan.

Thursday: The 8 year old’s requested birthday dinner: soy sauce/honey chicken wings (my mother’s recipe), steamed broccoli and green beans, sesame brown butter udon noodles.

Friday: Pizzas (the Husband made these himself) and Bad Batch.

Saturday: pasta with yellow squash, mushrooms with tuna and steamed broccoli on the side. This was a kitchen sink kind of meal – basically sautéing whatever sad veggies we had to use up and then tossing it with tomato sauce. I served canned tuna on the side for protein.

Speaking of sad veggies – we have a bunch of sunchokes given to us by a friend and no clue what to do with them. – does anyone have ideas for how to eat sunchokes? (They aren’t actually sad quite yet – they seem to last a long time in the fridge.)

What other cookie batters should we make to keep in the fridge? What is it about your boring life that gives you the most satisfaction? I hope everyone has a heartfelt week, and wishing you warmth however you can find it.

Books Read – December 2024

Last book wrap up for 2024. I have a “Media Consumption Favorites 2024” post coming, but figured I should also recap that last month of reading as well.

First, though, and interesting book-ish post – this article by John Kenney from the Washington Post “It’s a New Year. let’s resolve to rethink what ‘self-help’ means.” The article, coming at the start of a new year, a time for resolutions and bids for improvement, ponders the place of self-help literature in our lives.

John Kenney makes a case that the words that help us grow aren’t just the words in books in the self-help section.
“That is not to say,” he writes, “we don’t need guides, mentors, a bit of direction now and again. I’m just not convinced a book needs the label ‘self-help’ to do that. I find “The Catcher in the Rye” a superb self-help book. It helped me learn empathy and tenderness. Any book by Alice McDermott is a self-help book, helping me to see deeply into the interior life of a strange. Poet Mary Oliver is quite good at self-help.”

And so on Kenney writes, listing examples of how art – books, music, movies, etc. – is sometimes the best form of “self-help” because they help us realize the “self” part of “self-help”.

This article struck me because it paralleled something that I was kicking around in my head regarding podcasts. I was scrolling though my podcast feed a few weeks ago. Feeling like my life was particularly scattered, I was looking for a podcast that might help me put order in my life. I am certainly a “mood” listener of podcasts – I turn to podcasts when I’m looking for information or inspiration or motivation. This is probably why I subscribe to a lot of productivity podcasts – podcasts populated by people who seem to have things figured out – how to wring the most out of life, how to perfectly organize, declutter, schedule, parent, work, manage, and life hack one’s way to a frictionless fulfilling existence.

“This is what I need,” I thought, “inspiration to optimize my life so that I can get it back on track again.”

So I would put one of the productivity podcasts on, hoping to get tips and ideas for how to gather my life back together into some semblance of order. But after a few minutes, I would have to turn the podcast off. Turns out listening to people talk about how they’ve optimized their existence did not inspire me to do the same myself; it merely stressed me out and made me feel like I just wasn’t doing enough. (Ironic that being told “you are enough” makes me feel like I’m not quite enough…) I’m not disparaging self-help/self-improvement podcasts – I think Happier is full of fun and useful tips – I wouldn’t subscribe to so many if I didn’t find value in the advice and words. But for some reason, when life was at it’s most harried, these podcasts weren’t quite right for me.

“But these podcasters are giving me the key to a better life!” I thought to myself.

What I realized, though, is when I’m feeling restless and unmoored and unfocussed, the podcasts that help me are the ones that dig a little deeper than time blocking or outsourcing. It’s the podcasts that contemplate what it’s like to be human that help me through. Podcasts like On Being and House Calls with Dr. Vivek Murthy. I think what I’m learning is that I can’t life hack my way through life if I don’t know why I’m hacking my way through life. Podcasts like On Being remind me that we have capacities for kindness and thoughtfulness, and for doing good and strong things. They remind me that life is full of humans trying to figure things out, and that I’m one of those humans. I love a good list of life hacks and strategies, but listening to podcasts which roll out the advice when I’m feeling fragile and scattered is putting the cart before the horse. Productivity podcasts speak to the “human doing”, but before I can “do” I must “be.” I need to first remind myself that I’m a vulnerable capable, oh so lucky to be alive human being.

Anyhow on to books I read in December 2024:

You Were Made to Be Mine by Julie Anne Long – This is book 5 of Long’s Palace of Rogues series, a series of historical romance novels set in a boarding house in London called the Grand Palace on the Thames. In this book, former spy Christian Hawkes is sent to retrieve a runway fiancée. Said fiancée, Aurelie Capet has fled to London where she is posing as a genteel widow. I didn’t like this one as much as book 4 (After Dark with the Duke – I really loved that book) – I tend to like my romance novels to lean more towards character driven than plot driven, and this one had a lot of intrigue- still, there was much to recommend it – good writing, hero and heroines who weren’t complete nincompoops and had chemistry in spades, a colourful cast of side characters, and some really angsty swoony dialogue. Julie Anne Long is kind of where it is for me right now in terms of writing tension filled scenes between two people who are attracted to each other. The big caveat for me, though (and spoiler alert here) is that I don’t love it when books use sexual assault as a plot point. Not because I don’t want to acknowledge that truly awful things can and do happen to women (and men), but more that sometimes I think sexual assault is used as a convenient way to inflict trauma and cause misunderstanding, and then I feel as if everything gets resolved in an unbelievingly pat way, particularly in romance novels.

How to Tame a Wild Rogue by Julie Anne Long – book 6 of the Palace of Rogues series. I’ve been on Julie Anne Long binge lately, clearly. This book is about Lorcan St. Leger, a privateer who is stuck in London during a storm. He runs into Daphne Worth trying to climb out a window to escape her employer, and they end up pretending to be married in order to takes the last suite of rooms at the Grand Palace on the Thames. Boom. Forced proximity, fake marriage. All the tropes. Character heavy and just enough plot to keep things moving, but not so much plot that I have to keep track of things. I liked this book so much, for all the reasons I enjoy Julie Anne Long’s books. They are so well written – funny and touching and smart – the characters are really good people, no one is making choices that make me want to throw the book across the room, and I’m always rooting for them to figure out that they love each other. Tension in spades. This one is up there with After Dark with the Duke as my favorite in this series.

Counsel Culture by Kim Hye-Jin, translated by Jamie Chang – This was a book, translated from Korean about a therapist and television personality whose career goes up in flames when she makes a scripted negative comment that leads to devastating consequences. I picked this up while browing the library shelves, looking for a thin book to read. This is kind of a slight book, following the main character as she floats through life in the lonely aftermath of everything. The book was a little meandering for my tastes. It was fine, but lacked momentum. There is, however, an excellent plotline involving feral cats. I also find it intriguing that most of the reviews of this book on goodreads are not in English.

Green Island by Shawna Yang Ryan – I read this book while in Taiwan because when I travel I like to read books of the places I’m going. This novel by Taiwanese American writer Shawna Yang Ryan follows the Tsai family beginning with the birth of the narrator on the day of the 2/28 massacre of 1947, follows her family as they fled Taipei following her father’s arrest, and details how her father finally returns to them and the aftermath of his return. The story then takes the narrator (who I didn’t realize didn’t have a name until I started writing this.) to Berkeley California where she settles with her husband, but where they cannot escape the reaches of the KMT government. This book felt very personal to me. The 2/28 massacres were an uprising where the people of Taiwan revolted against the occupying KMT government from China. The uprising was violently squashed and martial law was declared. This is the Taiwan that my parents grew up in; my father’s brother was jailed for five year by the KMT. He was fifteen when they arrested him. On our trip to Taiwan, I asked my mother what it was like living under Martial Law and she said, “You had to keep living life. What else could you do? But you never knew when someone was going to be arrested. You’d go to a party and later on find out that the police came for your friends because they were at that party.” Which is all to say, I don’t think I can be objective about this book because it’s the story of my family – Of growing up in an occupied country. Of immigrating across the ocean for better opportunities. Of raising kids in a country so different from the one you grew up in. Of working tirelessly for Taiwan’s independence. Still, I think this is a well written and compelling book. It reads partially like a memoir, partially like a political thriller. If you are interested in Taiwanese history, I would recommend this book.

On My Proverbial Night Stand:
We’ll Prescribe You A Cat by Syou Ishida- I saw this book in Taiwan and the premise made me laugh. It’s charming so far

The Love Songs of W.E.B. DuBois by Honorée Fanonne Jeffers – My big (700 pg.) read this winter. It’s moving very quickly, though.

Riddles of the Sphinx by Anna Shechtman- Not the book I thought i was going to be. I want it to be more crossword puzzle history and less memoir.

The Phoenix Bride by Natasha Siegel- Book set in 17th century London about a grieving widow and the Jewish physician trying to help her. I picked up from the library solely based on the beautiful cover.

What the Dead Know: Learning about Life as a New York City Death Investigator by Barbara Butcher – listening to this on audio. It’s riveting. I just try not to listen to it at night.

and with the kids:
Bob by Rebecca Stead and Wendy Mass- reading it out loud together. Charming and mysterious story about (no so) imaginary friends.

Weekly recap + what we ate: thwarted plans

Last week’s pristine snow has turned soft and slushy, grey with dirt and continued living. Life going on. That’s okay. I hear there is more snow coming this weekend and next week.

I was down at the Mall on Friday (more on that below) and I saw rows and rows and rows and rows and rows of chairs set up for inauguration. I texted my friend/coworker and said “It makes setting up a room for a 65 person chorus rehearsal seem paltry.” The whole Mall was surrounded by temporary gates and to get from the Smithsonian metro stop to the National Gallery of Art was an exercise in finding the doorways. I walked down one football fields’ length of chairs to find worker scrambling at the other end to put the chairs away. I did not envy those workers, having to set up, then take down a mile’s worth of chairs. The whole experience was very much one of those, “Yep, you live in D.C.” type things. Every Inauguration is unique, I’m sure, but this one seems more unique than others. Here comes another era….

It has been a frustrating few days. Plans just… not working. Why do I make plans? Case in point:

1)First scuttled plans: I really really wanted to catch Paris 1974 Impressionist exhibit at the National Gallery of Art before it closed this weekend. (Okay, never mind that in typical fashion, I’ve left it to the last minute. I should have just gone in September when it opened). I had a morning off from work this week, so I thought, “I’ll just pop down to the museum and take and hour or so to see the exhibit.” One of the wonderful things about living in the suburbs of D.C. is that there are so many free museums and so going to see art doesn’t require a special trip; I can just stop in and see something and then be on my way.

Well, it didn’t exactly work out like that – the entire city is getting ready for a National Special Security Event – this is literally what it is called in the email about road closures they sent at work . All the blocks and blocks and blocks around the National Mall were EMERGENCY PARKING only, and have been since the beginning of the week. Typically if you go in the morning it’s actually not difficult to find street parking near the mall, but on Thursday there was no place to park. I probably should have known and just metro-ed to the NGA. I circled for ten minutes then gave up and went to work. On the bright side, I instead called my sister in law and took a walk outside and saw the beautifully frozen Potomac River.

I thought maybe I’d go on Saturday before my show, but when I checked the NGA website it turns out that the museum was closed on Saturday for security reasons. So that left Friday. After a frustrating Friday morning (frustration #2 this week, see below), I finally made it to the museum. (See above’s adventure of walking the Mall three days before Inauguration.) Only when I got to the museum, the line for the Impressionist exhibit was TWO HOURS long. At that point, I thought that maybe I wasn’t meant to this exhibit. So I took a little wander around the permanent collection instead, which is really lovely and I don’t go see it enough. I had forgotten that there were three Vermeers in the permanent collection. What a lovely surprise to be wandering the galleries and then suddenly see these delicate works of beauty and light. So the trip wasn’t a complete wash after all.

2) Second scuttled plan. I had earmarked Friday as the day to finally take my car in for donation. You might recall, I have a 20 year old Subaru Legacy Wagon that was clearly in need of more work than we were going to invest in it anymore. I think it has 190,000 miles on it. I had bought it off my boss eleven years ago when the oldest was born and I had resigned myself to needing a car to do daycare pick ups and drop offs and other emergency errands. (When the oldest was born, the Husband said to me, “We have a kid now. For everyone’s safety and security you need to get a car and a smartphone.”) I am unreasonably attched to theis car – it came from someone really iportant in my ife and has eeen me through so much. But it was time for the car to move on from us. Probably beyond time. I was going to take it to an Automotive Training program at a nearby high school, where they would either fix it up, or use it for parts. Friday morning, cleaned out the car – discovering many hidden things, and throwing out a lot of masks, and boy didn’t that take me back to a time – remember when we just kept packs and packs of masks in the car? The car had been sitting for at least a few months undriven in our driveway, so I turned it on to make sure it would start and then – and this was my big mistake – I turned it off to finish cleaning it out. I really should have driven it around to charge the battery a little bit. When I finished cleaning the car, I tried to start it again and IT WOULDN”T START! And then, I couldn’t shift it out of park or take my key out of the ignition. I spent half an hour trying to get the key out of the ignition and get the car to start. I googled, watched YouTube videos, searched Reddit. My friend even came over to help me jump the car. NOTHING WORKED. ARGH!!!! I finally get the courage up to donate my beloved car and… wump wump. I just felt so. very. defeated.

Anyhow, bright side – the Husband managed to get the car started while I was at the Museum. And we will re-schedule the car donation. Typical of me, I left this til the very last minute so there is now a sense of urgency about getting the car off our hands before it becomes inconvenient in terms of insurance and car registration. The whole thing made me feel so incompetent at adulting.

In other life things –
-I’m done working on shows for a few months. I had my last show for a while this past weekend, and I’m grateful to be on the other side of Fall/Winter opera season. I feel like things have been non-stop since September. The show went well and people were pleased. We performed a series of 20 minute newly commissioned operas. It’s always fun to do new pieces. These ones weren’t particularly tuneful, but there were snippets that lodged in my head anyway. I said to my ASM, “When these new works get stuck in my head, it’s clearly a sign that I’ve been spending a lot of time listening to them!

-Adult Lunchables! I bought these linch containers for our trip to Asia, filing them with snacks for the plane. This past week, there was one day when the contents of our fridge looked dire – not quite enought to pack a full lunch. And I had the idea to pack a snack lunch with these containers. I packed: carrots, candy cane beets, hummus, blueberries, and a soy marinated egg. It was a surprisingly satisfying lunch.

-A good morning – I feel like I’m constantly trying to find the ideal morning routine. I think one of my biggest hurdles is that a good morning routine starts the night before with a consistent bedtime and my bedtime routine is crap. Partly this is working in the evenings so not being home consistently, but also a lot of it is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. I’m trying to nail down a better evening routine for the nights that I am home. And for the nights that I work, I’m trying to stick to just going straight to bed when I get home. If I’m in bed before midnight then I can be up earlier. A couple times this past week, I was up by 6:15a, had a really great morning rhythm. I wanted to write it down so I can come back to remember how it’s done:
6:10am – wake up.
6:15am – 6:40 – 20 minute yoga (I’ve been loosely following Charlie Follow’s thirty day yoga challenge – I like it because it is gentle – maybe a little too gentle, but I add in an extra down dog if I need to – and also there is no music. On days when I can’t do the whole 20 minutes, I just choose another, or do a few sun salutations.) Yes, this 20 minute yoga takes 25 minutes because… kids. If I have time, I also do 10 minutes of strength.
6:40-7:10 – Read. (Current morning book is The Love Songs of W.E.B. DuBois)
7:10 – 8:10 – Breakfast/pack lunch. (Sometimes the Husband gets the kids breakfast when they get up at 6:15a. Often times they are hungry again by 7a. Or just bored and want more food.)
8:10-8:30 – putter/pick up/ get the 5 year old out the door (The neighbor takes her to daycare and I take their 2nd grader to the bus)
8:30-8:45 – journal.
8:45 – school bus alarm goes off and we head out the door.
Things to think about:
-I didn’t prep dinner these days, which I sometimes do and that usually takes 20 minutes of the morning.
– When I don’t go to bed before midnight, I usually sleep til 7am and then the morning is just about packing lunches and getting kids out the door. Of course, when I’m up by 6:15am, I am so so so so tired by 9:45pm. It’s a trade off. I can’t be tired at 9;45pm when I’m working an evening rehearsal.
-My two younger kids are early risers. They usually are downstairs the minute they realize the Husband is up (He gets up at 5:30am). I’d would like to figure out how to give him more quiet/ child-free time in the morning because he likes to read in the morning. But the kids also like to cuddle and want breakfast. Maybe I need the kids to be more in charge of their own breakfast?
-I’m really glad we’re at a point in our lives when the kids can all get ready by themselves. I barely see the 13 year old in the morning. She wakes up just in time to shower, grab random food out of the fridge, and then head out the door for school. The two little will get dressed and pack their school bags by themselves. Mostly.
-I wouldn’t mind more time to journal/plan the day. Or doing it earlier. Maybe I should journal/plan earlier in the day and read in the slot right before the school bus alarm goes off?
We’ll see how this morning routine goes. As always, it’s easier to have a routine/rhythm when I’m not working inconsistent hours. It always goes out the window once I’m back in rehearsal. I’m trying to tell myself these next few months are the time to establish a routine until I’m back in rehearsal. But I think I also have to remind myself that having a sporadic routine does not make it any less of a routine – there are cycles to life, you know?

-My mother sent me a box of oranges and lemons from her trees in Southern California. The oranges are sweet and juicy, perfect taste of sunshine on a grey January day.

Grateful for:
– Free Museums: It felt almost guiltily indulgent, to be able to go through the National Gallery of Art slowly, spending five minutes on a single painting, looking a brush strokes, and colours and thinking about the people in the painting and the artist who created them. But such is the wonderful things about living in a city with free museums – you can afford to spend five minutes, or ten, or sixty, on one painting because you can always come back to see the others. Tax dollars at work here (and donors and philanthropists), and for that I’m grateful.
–Winter. I was thinking this week, as I moved through snow and cold and bracingly brisk air – How wonderful it is to live somewhere with four seasons! Yes snow and cold can be tedious and hard to navigate, but there is something extraordinary about nature telling us when it is time for a slower pace and to rest. (Or maybe this is something very ordinary?) There is something about feeling the wind on your face when you step out the door, to remind you that you are lucky to be alive to feel this bitter cold on your skin. I think about how, if you live somewhere where there aren’t four seasons, how you miss out on being forced to adapt and cycle your life routines and patterns.
–My Friend L – I know she makes this list a lot, but I feel so grateful to have a friend who will pick up nuts for me at Costco, or “Kosher Takis” at Trader Joe’s, who will come help me jump my car, and drive me home after work.
–The Husband who actually did manage to jump the car. And who was home with the kids all week while I was in tech.
–Romance novels – I’ve been tearing through Julie Anne Long’s Palace of Rogues series and I love the books so much (well, maybe not the third one…). I’m glad there are people out there writing these cozy, angsty, escapist reads, perfect for curling up with a cup of tea in chilly weather. They make me so happy.

Looking Forward To:
–Monday off with the kids. Sometimes when we have these days off, I think about taking the kids on an adventure to a museum or something. But going to the Mall on Monday will be… ill advised. We had thought about going up to Baltimore, but with the forecasted snow, we thought it best of we stayed home. So the family brainstormed a list of cozy things to do at home. MLK Day will involve:
-baking (scones AND cookies)
-reading. (the Husband is on Do NOT disturb reading time until 7am)
-sledding
-hot chocolate
-movie
-Soup or dumplings
-board/card games
-30 minutes of cleaning out the toy room (okay, I admit, I put this on the list)
-piano
-laundry. Maybe. Hopefully.
This all seems really aspirational, but if we even do a couple things on the list and don’t yell at each other (too much), I will count the day as a win.

–The middle child’s birthday party. It will be at the duck pin bowling place. Should be lots of fun and low key. I can’t believe the little guy will be eight!

–Hadestown! The kids have a random Wednesday off in a few weeks, and I on an impulse I checked train tickets to New York, and they were surprisingly not too expensive – $120 round trip, half that for the 7 year old. And then I thought, “What can we do there?” and it turns out the last week of January is Broadway Week and certain shows have 2-for-1 tickets. I managed to snag tickets for Hadestown for $80 each. I never do anything so impulsive (I think it says something that booking a day trip two weeks out is impulsive for me….), but I wanted to do something fun, so I did it. I’m not actually familiar with Hadestown, but everyone seems to love it, so we are listening to it in the car and brushing up on our Greek Mythology. I feel like “the fun mom” for once in my life.

–Cool Blogger’s Book Club! L.M. Montgomery’s The Blue Castle is the pick for the latest go round of Engie’s bookclub. I’m so excited. Now I just have to located a copy of the book – there are none available in my library system!

–Just started this audiobook. Grisly, but fascinating. I don’t know that I’ll finish it because I have a bit of a weak stomach, but I can’t stop listening to it.

What We Ate: The Husband was in charge of dinners this week, as I worked most nights.
Monday: Tortellini and red sauce.

Tuesday: The family had dinner out. I had rehearsal in the afternoon then a supertitle job in the evening. I had yogurt for dinner.

Wednesday: Pork chops. I think I had yogurt for dinner again.

Thursday: I had leftover chicken soup from last week. The Husband made tofu zucchini boats at home.

Friday: Pizza and Skeleton Crew. The 13 year old has basketball practice again on Fridays so we are back to having pizza and tv rather than pizza and movie. Skeleton Crew is the latest Star Wars series on Disney plus.

Saturday: I’m not quite sure what the rest of the family ate, to be honest. I worked this evening and ordered from a new to me place called Seoul Spice since folks at work were putting in a group order. Everyone at work raves about this place and it was indeed very tasty. It’s kind of like Korean Chipotle – a bowl with lots of things and then sauce. There was kimchi! Which is always a winner in my book.

Sunday: Our friend came over to watch football and brought chili.

What would you put in your adult lunchable/snack box? I’m obsessed with this idea now! What are your top cozy day activities? Are you bracing for more winter?
Hope you have a restful week!

Weekly recap + what we ate: hello 2025! Snow! Jet lag!

I feel like this past week was truly the first week of 2025 for me since we were still in Asia until the 4th. Coming back was rough – our connection in Seattle was delayed by 2.5 hours, so we were at SEA for seven hours total. Here’s the math – we left our hotel in Kuala Lumpur at 9am local time on Friday January 3rd, which is 8pm on Thursday January 2nd in Maryland. We pulled into the driveway at home at 8:3oam on Saturday January 4th. That’s a freakin’ long time to travel. 36 hours – hotel to taxi to plane to plane to plane to car to home. The world is big, friends. (Although, Earth is the third smallest planet – I can’t imagine what travel would be like on Jupiter…)

When we got home, we unpacked and zombied our way through the rest of the day. I was determined to battle jetlag and keep the kids awake until 8pm, which would be close to their regular bedtime. I lost that battle badly. We did an okay job of staying up on Saturday – there was a brief nap Saturday afternoon and we went to bed around 10pm – I was hoping the late bedtimes would help the kids stay in bed later. Nope. Sunday morning the kids were up at 4am. Sunday afternoon, I tried to keep everyone awake and we were all passed out in the living room by 4pm. I was seriously worried about whether or not the kids would survive school the next day.

But guess what? I didn’t have to worry about that. Because … SNOW DAY!

There was one point the week before, when we were in Kuala Lumpur and it was 90 degrees outside and I said to my Husband, “Let’s remember this feeling because next week we will be COLD.” Sure enough late Sunday night it started to snow and before we went to bed, the schools had declared a snow day. Both the Husband and I were supposed to work on Monday. His work ended up being closed. I worked from home. (Thanks to the Husband who wisely told me to go get my laptop from my office on Sunday night.). Even though I was very much looking forward to sending the kids to school, – after all we were at Day 16 s of togetherness – I saw the snow day as a blessing in that the kids had one more day to get back on schedule.

It was a cozy day of puttering. Is there anything more cozy than a blanket of snow outside and warm tea and wool slippers inside? We shoveled some snow. The neighbors invited the kids over to play in their yard. I did some work, had a few meetings. In mid afternoon, I logged off work and we all went sledding with our neighbors. Sledding was super fun. I was at first a little nervous about the hill they chose because there are several trees on this hill and – well have you ever read Ethan Frome? I read it in high school and (spoiler alert) there is a gruesome accident that involves a sled a tree and the loss of hope and happiness. As one does in an Edith Wharton book. So I wasn’t terribly eager to go sledding on this hill.

But turns out, a hill full of trees is a great opportunity for kids to learn how to steer a sled. We did manage to put a hole in our sled, but I think it still works great. And there were several face plants into the snow and tears. Afterwards, the seven year old notes that “Stumps are worse than trees. If you hit stumps you’ll fly off. If you hit a tree, you’ll just fall over.” But all in all, nothing that couldn’t be solved by hot chocolate afterwards.

Tuesday – another snow day. Crisp and clear. Both the Husband and I worked from home. Around three, I took the kids out for a snowy walk. The house was starting to become a bit of a pit. Kids fell asleep around 4:30pm. We woke them up for dinner, which was kind of a sad lethargic affair.

Wednesday – yet ANOTHER snow day. It was no longer snowing, but I guess there were schools up county that were still treacherously icy, so all the schools remained closed. The kids had piano lessons – fortunately moved to 9:45am rather than the normal 7:15am. Though honestly the kids were already up at 5:30am, so we could have made a 7:15 lesson with bells on. I took the metro into work in the afternoon, since that seemed more relaxed an option than driving. Home in time for dinner. Kids and I passed out at the dinner table at 6:00pm.

The kids finally went to school on Thursday and Friday. THANK GOODNESS.

This weekend we’ve been back into the swing of kids’ activities. Basketball season has started for the oldest kid – she’s playing in the rec league as well as on her middle school team. The little kids have skating lessons, and then there’s agility class for the 5 year old and the 8 year old will be doing a goal tending clinic with his soccer league. It’s also football playoff season and college basketball season, so I think we’ll have a combination of out and about and home on the couch this winter.

Other news: We have a teenager! The oldest turned 13. Every year we get through the new year and I realize that I haven’t done anything to prepare for the oldest child’s birthday. Every year, I vow to do better. I did not do better this year. I did exactly nothing for her birthday. We sang happy birthday, we had a very long family scheduling meeting and then I went to work. The two little kids made her a card and the Husband bought her a cake which we ate later in the evening. On the one hand, I don’t love celebrating my own birthday, so other people’s birthdays don’t always register for me. On the other hand, I need to recognize that birthdays are special to some people and honour that. (Okay, typing that out, I’m realizing that maybe the day that I gave birth and we became parents for the first time should hold more significance for everyone. I know!)

The oldest actually got invited to another kids’ birthday party on her birthday. Our former neighbor’s kid was having a party and they invited our kid along, so she spent the day running errands with the Husband and then our former neighbors picked her up and took her to their kid’s party. When the other family found out it was her birthday too, they bought her a special dessert and then took her to Dave and Busters. How awesome is that?

I can’t believe that we have entered into teenage years! Okay, one thing now, though, I can legally leave all the kids at home. In Maryland, kids have to be 13 in order to stay home with other kids. (They have to 8 to stay home alone). I don’t want to take advantage of the now-13 year old, so I want to think through whether or not she should get paid if we ever do leave her at home with the other two kids.

Grateful For:

-Neighbors to spend snow days and birthdays. It was nice to hang out with our neighbors while sledding this week. They let us take a run down the hill on their toboggan and it was a wild ride. And I’m also grateful for our former neighbors who made sure the 13 year old had a good birthday even though they weren’t originally celebrating her.

-Base layers. I took the metro to work a couple of days last week so that I wouldn’t have to deal with driving in snow and slush. It’s about a ten minute walk on either end. I’m really grateful for wool/silk base layers to keep me warm.

-Hand me down winter coats and snow pants. While we’re on the topic of winter gear – I don’t think I’ve purchased a winter coat or pair of snow pants for the two little kids in four years because I have a friend with twins who passes down her winter coats and snow pants to us once her kids outgrow them.

-That my mom is okay still. My mother lives about 10 miles south of the Eaton fire in the LA Area. She is not concerned about having to evacuate because she isn’t in the mountains, but even still I’m worried. I also have an aunt and two uncles in the same area. I texted my mom to ask her how the air was and she said, “Bad.” The mass of humanity that the fires are affecting is heartbreaking.

Looking forward to:

-Filling out reflection workbooks. I was looking for a more concrete way to reflect on my 2024, and look forward to 2025, and I found two (free!) reflection work books online that looked interesting, so I’ve printed them up and want to work through them. One is Year Compass and one is by Susanna Conway called “Unravel Your Year“.

-A busy week at work – I have a recital that I’m doing titles for, and then a little semi-staged evening of newly commissioned 20 minute operas. It’s going to be a busy week, but I’m working with some great people, so I’m looking forward to being at the theatre.

-And then work downtime for a while – after this week, I don’t have another show to work on until the end of March. I do have to do some work for next opera season and there’s some paperwork I want to update, but it won’t be evenings and weekends. I’m looking forward to two months of working at a quieter pace.

-Library book stack – on the Sunday we got back, in an attempt to get out of the house and keep kids awake, we went to the library where I checked out this stack of books to start my 2025 reading. (Actually The Riddle of the Sphinx and This is So Awkward were renewals that I haven’t finished yet.) I love browsing books and just picking up what looks good:

What We Ate:
Saturday: Pizza and This Means War. We’re moving away from animated features for movie night. This 2012 movie stars Reese Witherspoon as a market researcher caught between two rival CIA partners/rivals, played by Chris Pine, and Tom Hardy. It was a lot of fun, perhaps a little risque for the littles – good popcorn entertainment.

Sunday: Sandwiches. I think we were all still really jetlagged and this was what the Husband fed the kids when we realized that even though everyone was falling asleep standing up, we should probably still make an effort to feed them. Thank goodness ehs’ here.

Monday: InstantPot Coq au Vin. Disappointingly more soup than stew, but still tasty. Though I think only 1 of the 3 kids stayed awake long enough to eat this.

Tuesday: Brussel Sprout Nasi Goreng, pan fried tofu on the side. We had a bunch of Brussel sprouts in the fridge from before we left on vacation so I made this -it’s my go to recipe for Brussel sprouts. I love this recipe from Meera Sodha. It’s really tasty and also a great way to get everyone to eat Brussel Sprouts. Vegan.

Wednesday; Coq au vin from Monday, reheated. Not what I originally planned, but quick easy meal on a busy snowy day. I think I’m going to lean into the cook once, eat twice meal this year. Although, we don’t have a microwave, so I need to figure out best methods of reheating food.

Thursday: Breakfast sandwiches. The Husband made dinner since I didn’t get home from work til 8pm.

Friday: Pizza take out. I worked, came home, and fell asleep before the Husband got back with the pizza.

Saturday: Pizza take out (take two) and Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the 2005 movie with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as assassins unknowingly married to each other. I got home when the family was half way through this movie and made the family watch it again from the beginning after we got to the end. I was hoping there would be some kind of plot if I watched it from the beginning. There is not plot. Just a premise. And lots of action sequences. The kids really loved this movie.