Diane

31 days of July

When I look at my time tracking journal, sometimes I feel like life is an unending slog of pick up/ drop off/ what am I going to make for dinner. But even though there are certain things in life that are “wash, rinse, repeat” every day is different and contains its own joys, no? At any rate, having missed doing weekly recaps for pretty much a month, I thought I’d recap the joys I found in July – one for each day. So here they are:

7.1 – Prepping from home. Love having the flexibility to do this.

7.2 – Got to visit with a good friend after camp drop off. Just a couple hours sitting and chatting while the 4 year old played quietly by himself and the baby napped.

7.3 – Met up with college friends for an afternoon walk around a near by quaint small historic town.

7.4 – Fourth of July! Chores: sorting baby clothes, making me feel nostalgic. Such itty bitty clothes.

7.5 – First day of rehearsals!

7.6 – A tam tam showed up in rehearsal. I find it delightful.

7.7 – After the baby fell out of bed again, I asked on the local listserv if anyone had a bedrail they were looking to unload and I was offered several. Gave me the warm fuzzies.

7.8 – Forgot my phone at home today, and while I was initially worried that I would miss something, by the end of the day, I came to appreciate being more intentional in my availability. What I did miss: being able to read a book on the Libby app, Google Maps.

7.9 – First time dining inside since March. I was invited to dinner to help celebrate a colleague’s birthday. A lovely evening of comradery and theatre stories.

7.10 – Final Room Run! It’s been a fast yet gentle process.

7.11 – Date night with The Husband. My parents watched the kids and we went out for ceviche. First time in… actually probably since the baby was born.

7.12 – Walked the nine year old to camp. Which was probably a mistake as it felt like it was 80 degrees by 8:45am. Also foolishly thought the baby could make the walk – it’s less than a mile and she has been known to walk 2 miles. Hah. Had to carry her back home. Uphill. Grateful that the four year old walks with little complaints, though.

7.13 – I found some castanets for our show at a music shop near our house. Castanets are very fun. Our one and only tech rehearsal in the evening.

7.14 – Final Dress!

7.15 – Day off. Visited the zoo with my parents and the two little kids. Saw lions and tigers.

7.16 – Opening/ Closing performance and party afterwards where I got to catch up with some friends who had come to see the show.

7.17 – Cover Run and final clean up. My parent’s last night in town. Sad to see them go, but so grateful that they were here.

7.18 – Friends came over for dinner, along with their three kids. Nice to be hanging out again.

7.19 – Dressed the baby in this pink flowery dress that had been the nine year old’s at that age. It was one of our favorite things to put her in, and I had forgotten about it until this week. Good thing too, because it is almost too small. The baby is so much bigger than her older sister was that this age.

7.20 – Exit interview at work. (Though I don’t much care for the term “exit interview” seems so final….) Even though it gave us a lot to think about in terms of organizational structure and objectives and how to serve them, I am so excited and happy that I got to be part of this company this summer.

7.21 – Took the kids for gelato in the afternoon. I’m on a quest this summer to consume as wide a variety of frozen treats as I can. I had the honey-fig-mascarpone gelato and it was very good.

7.22 – A friend of the Husband’s was in town so we all had lunch together. I know this is a luxury for the gainfully unemployed, but I love lunch dates with the husband.

7.23 – The County Parks Department had an event where arborists “taught” kids how to climb trees. They hooked them up in harnesses and hoisted them to the leafy treetops. I think I was even more excited about it than the four year old. The baby declined to try, even though the arborists were certainly game to put her in a harness and send her up there.

7.24 – Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics. I love watching the Olympics. For all the criticism that the Olympics gets about being overblown and terrible for a city’s economy, I think there is something so inspiring about each individual athlete.

7.25 – 8 am swim meet. Last one of the season. Swim team is certainly very time consuming, but I’ve loved seeing how much it’s inspired the nine year old to push herself.

7.26 – Am trying out a new mask pattern. I know that cloth masks are not as effective as N95 masks, but I like how when I make one, I can make sure that it fits tightly and comfortably for the kids.

7.27 – Took the two littles to story time and a park afterwards. I love that the libraries are doing outdoor story time.

7.28 – While visiting the library today, saw that the rec center (which is located in the same building) has toddler play times three times a week. And it’s free! I signed the kids up for rec center passes on the spot. The center also have pool tables and ping pong tables and open gym for basketball – all things I think the nine year old will like.

7.29 – My friend Kristen met us at the pool for pizza and pool time, but then it started to rain really hard, so we abandoned the pool and went home to have pizza and Olympics time.

7.30 – Took the kids on a hike up near Harper’s Ferry. I kind of didn’t follow the trails correctly so we never made it to the stream, but it was a lovely shaded wood walk with lots of butterflies. Good to get our July hike in!

7.31 – Our friends dropped their dog off for a week. He is small and cuddly and adorable and while I don’t want a dog for myself, I think dog sitting for a week is a great way to scratch that “I want something small and cute” itch.

We are almost half way through August now. Back in June, the summer seemed endless, but now we are in the last month of it and there seems to not be enough time to do everything I want… including doing nothing.

Haikus for May, June and July

Get back on the bike
Show up and write anything
Back in the habit.

May:

Verdantly dancing,
Winter limbs don leafy coats
All the shades of green.

Exoskeletons
Sunshine trough cicada shells
Jewels left behind.

He slurps his noodles
A bowl of surprise and wonder
Discov’ring mushrooms.

Good Morning Spring Sun!
Slanting through kitchen windows
Stabs me in the eye.

June:

Cicadas flutter
on buzzing wings to treetops
alarmingly loud.

Ghost lights in water
Splash strokes, propelling shadows
Summer dusk swim meet.

June heat blankets me
in a thick layer of air,
prompts my lethargy.

The taste of summer skin
baking in the poolside heat
Sunscreen and chlorine.

The baby dances
unobserved in the kitchen.
It’s true what they say.

July:

Brood X now silent,
Bodies dissolved into earth
Leaving brown-tipped trees.

Skies open, rain storms.
Skies open, sunshine. Briefly.
Enough for a swim.

Weekly recap + what we ate – back to work

My camera roll is surprisingly empty this week. Well, empty of pictures that I took myself. It is somehow filled with selfies taken by the nine year old. Sometimes she loops her brother and sister into her shenanigans. As a result, I get surprise photos and videos in my feed when the iPad synchs with the cloud. I find it a cute, even while I am annoyed that she is co-opting my iCloud storage. The other day we had words about something and she recorded an apology on the iPad that popped up in my photo roll on my phone. It was hard to stay mad at that.

Anyhow this week was kind of a fresh start. The nine year old started camp and I started prep for my next show. I had enrolled the nine year old in a county camp – nothing fancy, just arts, crafts, games and plenty of time outdoors. The main virtue of the camp, quite honestly, was that it was incredibly inexpensive – $275 for six weeks, when most camps charge at least that much for a single week – and also that it is about a mile and a half from our house. She did walk to camp one morning with my dad, and I’m thinking I might do the walk with her on mornings when I don’t have to be at work in the morning. The one shortcoming of the camp is that it only runs until 3pm. This isn’t a problem for me since my parents pick her up, but I do realize that this makes this super affordable camp a non-option for many working parents.

For me, it was a combination of working from home and a day or two working on site. I’m learning to be more efficient with my time when I’m working at home. Working from home was definitely much easier this week since my parents were in town and could help watch the kids.

Even though I try not obsessively document my life in photos, I do notice that when my photo roll is empty, it means I’ve been particularly immersed in the “doing” of life, rather than remembering to take time to find the things to be savor or to be grateful for.

Good things this week, then:
– long visit with a friend whose kids are at the camp adjacent to the nine year old’s camp. It was great to catch up and talk about deep and frivolous things. The two younger kids came along and the four year old plays cars by himself for ninety minutes. I love that he can get in such a flow state of play. Also – I showed him a transformer and he was adorably amazed. “It’s a truck that turns into a robot!!!!”
– The nine year old had a couple swim meets this week. I took her to one and the Husband took her to one. I’m still finding it a little awkward to make conversation with other parents at these meets, but I do enjoy seeing the event management and planning that goes on to make the meets happen. The parents are all assigned tasks at the meet; I was a timer. Putting stage management skills to work, I guess. I find it interesting to see other pools as we travel for meets.
– I am really excited for this next opera I’m working on because it reunites me with a colleague whom I absolutely love working with. Actually she was one of the reasons I decided to take this job.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Snack dinner – hummus, crackers, cheese, whatever I could scrounge from the fridge. Still recovering from the camping trip.

Sunday: Burrito bowls from Dinner Illustrated. Pantry meal.

Monday: Hot dog at swim meet and Chipotle afterwards

Tuesday: Cacio e Pepe udon noodles and cucumber salad.

Wednesday: Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and cucumbers. (Another swim meet night – the Husband took the nine year old, and I stayed home with the kids)

Thursday: Rice Pilaf with corn and shrimp from Milk Street Fast and Slow. InstantPot recipe to eat after swim practice

Friday: pizza take-out and In the Heights. Big movie – big dance numbers, big bold colours, big emotions, big voices.

Stage Management Skills in Real Life: resetting for the top

The other day I turned my back and the baby dumped a box of Cheerios on the floor. I snapped a picture and sent it to my friend. “Cheerios are my version of Nutcracker snow, ” I wrote.

For those who don’t work backstage, let me explain. At the end of the first act of the perennial Christmas favorite The Nutcracker, there is a huge snow scene. Vast amounts of snow is dropped from above the stage, blanketing the stage, drifting into the wings, coating the dancers. So much snow also means intermission clean up. I am forever finding little white bits of Nutcracker snow somewhere backstage, even deep into spring. But it is huge part of the show. So every performance snow gets showered on the floor. And every intermission the crew sweeps it up so they can set for the next act.

(I guess the opera version of Nutcracker snow would be Madama Butterfly flower petals. And there was a recent production of Eugene Onegin that featured a leaf drop with similar pervasiveness.)

And so it is with that box of Cheerios. It starts on the table. The baby dumps it on the floor. I clean it up. It gets dumped on the floor again. The cycle begins again. And for the rest of the day, I will be finding Cheerios in all obscure corners of the dining room.

Putting up a show is often an exercise in creating and then dismantling then restoring in order to create again. A scene moves forward, props get used then discarded. Costume pieces get worn then removed. Scenery shifts. Then you get to the end of the show and then everything gets returned to it’s starting place so you can do it all over again. And the same things happen again. The same props move, the same costume pieces are put on and off, the same scenery changes position. Then the crew scrambles to put it all back together again.

We call it “Re-setting for the Top”, this act of putting everything back to where we started so that we can do it all over again.

But in reality, it’s not always the same. Particularly in rehearsal. Things change, singers find new nuances in their portrayal. Directors change traffic patterns to clarify the story they are trying to tell. Dancers, adjust a position or a movement. Even stage managers, who are supposed to be the soul of consistency, even we find subtle ways to make things better or more efficient – perhaps that prop should be preset facing the other way for ease of pick up. Or maybe this entrance order needs to be adjusted to get those who sing first onstage at the front of the line. Or maybe I need to move that post-it in my book so that I see it sooner and throw the cue on time. There are always big tweaks and little tweaks that can be made.

The second act of La Boheme, despite being one of the busiest scenes in all of opera-dome is actually quite short – usually kissing twenty minutes. In a three hour rehearsal, even with thirty minutes of chorus breaks, you can run Act Two at least five times, maybe six or seven if you’re fast at re-setting. That’s a lot of re-setting. But at the same time, it’s a lot of chances to figure out how to make things better.

There is a saying that life isn’t a dress rehearsal, the implication being that the curtain is up and we are living our one shot in front of an audience. But I think, the people who say this don’t truly understand rehearsal. Or life. I think, perhaps life is indeed like a rehearsal. Despite this being our one precious life, I don’t think that we are here to get it right on the first take; it’s a process. It’s a process of learning and trying and failing and clarifying and then trying again. Perhaps we need to be more forgiving of ourselves and of others and realize that everyone should get an opportunity to reset for the top, another chance to try things again until one arrives where one wants to be.

This includes that baby and the box of Cheerios. I’ll keep resetting that box, and perhaps one day, instead of dumping the Cheerios on the floor, she will finally figure out how to pour it into her bowl and get herself breakfast.

Weekly recap + what we ate – running away to the woods

View from the hammock. Relaxing for five minutes at a time.

I had a week off work so I took the kids camping for three nights, along with my parents. It was also the first full week of summer break, and I thought a little unplugging would be good for everyone. Also – for some reason, I had thought that the nine year old had camp last week, but nope.

My brother, an avid backpacker and hiker, says that three nights is the minimum for camping because it takes at least two nights to adjust to sleeping outdoors. In the end, I kind of wished that we could have stayed for even more nights.

We went to Swallow Falls State Park. A friend had suggested it as a good hike for kids because it is short (less than two miles) and has three water falls for the kids to play in. Luckily we went mid week so I was able to book campsites. The weekends seem to be booked up all summer.

We drove out on a Tuesday, leaving much later than I had planned. We arrived at the campsite around 7pm. But as the camp site was 170 miles west of home, the sun went down about an hour later, so we had plenty of light by which to pitch our tents and set ourselves up. The campsites themselves were on the small side. I don’t know that I could have safely made a fire on our site since our tent took up most of the camping pad. Luckily I had booked my parents the site next to ours, so we spent most of our time on their site. Also, our site was rather close to the road. Next time, too, I would pick a camp site on the inner loop – those seemed a little farther back from the road.

In the morning, we went hiking at Swallow Falls Canyon Trail. We had been here a couple of years ago with my sister-in-law’s family. Back then, though, the kids were younger so we only made it to one waterfall. This time, the kids hiked the whole loop. Well, the baby did about half of it, and then spent the return portion of the loop sleeping in the Ergo.

The trail loops through some woods, and then along streams, rivers and waterfalls. I know some hikers hike the path clockwise, trekking along the stream and then through the woods. I didn’t quite read the map correctly so we hiked through the woods first and then meandered back along the water. I think, though, I kind of preferred this way – the gentler, forest walk first then using the more interesting terrain on the return trip as kind of an incentive for the kids to keep going.

All in all it was a great hike for the kids – there was water to splash in, rocks to climb, and the trail was nice and shady. The hike was quite popular, even on a weekday. I probably would avoid it on a weekend if possible. And at the trailhead, was an ice cream truck!

The rest of the day featured ice cream, lazing in our new hammock – my camping gear splurge for the year, and absolutely worth it! – dinner cooked over the camp fire, and smores. Also a fairly late bedtime what with the late setting sun and all.

Our second day, we went to Herrington Manor State Park. There is a lake beach there and I though it might be a nice way to spend the summer day. Going to the beach on a lake is a little bit of an odd experience – there is sand and water, but for me the absence of wind and waves and sea salt air was conspicuous. It took me a while to realize what was missing from the beach experience, and finally I put my finger on it – it was much too quiet without the constant crash of the surf. Nonetheless, we had a great time. We even rented a canoe and my dad and I took the nine year old and the four year old out for a paddle. It was a little tricky since none of us really knew how to paddle, but we did eventually figure it out. I remember when I was in elementary school, during one swim lesson, our instructors put a canoe in the pool and taught us how to paddle. That was a long time ago, and I’m sorry to say I don’t remember much of what we were taught. Once my father and I figured out how to get the canoe to go (somewhat) the direction we wanted, the nine year old also had a turn at paddling, which I think she really enjoyed.

On the way home, we stopped at Misty Meadow Creamery for lunch and ice cream. Last week, I had put out a call on our local parents’ listserv for favorite frozen treats in the area. A couple parents shared that every summer, our state has an Ice Cream Trail every summer, where they print a map highlighting Maryland dairy farms. The idea is that if you visit all ten dairies, you can be entered in a drawing for prizes.

Misty Meadow Creamery was somewhat between Swallow Falls State Park and home, so of course we stopped. It was actually a really nice pit stop. They had some play structures to climb, farm animals to pet, and some ride-on toys to play with. And of course, ice cream. I had a cone with root beer ice cream on top and black raspberry on top. The root beer is a seasonal flavor, and it was like a root beer float in ice cream form. It was a hot hot day, and our ice cream almost melted faster than we could lick it.

There was also this really neat gazebo with four gliding chairs. I immediately texted the Husband a picture saying that I wanted one. Though, of course, I have no place to put it.

I want this for my new reading nook. Not sure where to put it, but it screams summer to me.

It was a great trip overall. I wish we could have stayed longer, but unfortunately the weekends were all full up. We’ll put it on our list of places to visit again.

What we ate:

Saturday: Can’t remember. Though we got Indian Take Out for lunch.

Sunday: Chinese Take Out for Father’s Day.

Monday: Kale and Tomatoe Saag Paneer from East. Our friend Renee came over for dinner and brought a really delicious blueberry crumble as well.

Tuesday: PB& J Sandwiches, after getting to the camp site kind of late

Wednesday: Breakfast – oatmeal
Lunch – PB & J Sandwiches, hummus wraps, apples, carrots, cucumbers, watermelon
Dinner – Fish foil packets cooked over the campfire. Cod and Salmon over celery, peppers, parboiled potatoes and carrots. S’mores.

Thursday: Breakfast – pancakes (from mix), and bacon (a camping treat!)
Lunch – at the beach, sandwiches,
Dinner – Tried to make hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls over the campfire, but that didn’t work so well. The pastry didn’t really cook all the way through. Also had baked beans and corn. All cooked on the fire.

Friday: Snack dinner, thrown together with minimal prep the night we arrived home. Tuna fish, carrots, cucumbers, cheese, and crackers.

Weekly… (or monthly) recap + what we ate – just like riding a bike

It’s been a fast and furious process of getting a show up and then over.

There is a chart that I saw once about the steps of the creative process:

I’ve realized this week, that no matter how long the rehearsal process, we still go through all the stages. And yes, even as a stage manager, I feel it. Sometimes more than others. In a way, a pretty short rehearsal process, as I just went through, is perhaps even more exhausting than a longer one because these emotional stages are condensed; even as I found myself arriving in one stage, I was already moving into the next stage. So in a way having a short rehearsal process where we are working two sessions a day can be just as emotionally taxing as a longer rehearsal session with three sessions a day. The mental journey you take is still the same.

All in all, though, it’s been really great to get back. There have been so many moments when I stop and I just feel so comfortable and happy to be doing my job again. At the end of our final dress rehearsal, I was standing out onstage as Maestro gave his notes, and I gazed out into the house. Of course, in an outdoor space, gazing out into the house means (at that late hour) gazing out into the inky night sky and feeling the cool summer breeze. I was told we were lucky to be in the space on a mild summer nights. Some nights it gets upwards of 100 degrees!

A good friend of mine will every so often post as her Facebook status: “I get to go to rehearsal today!” And every day I’ve felt that. Maybe it’s because I’ve been away for a year+ , but I feel very lucky and excited to be able to be in rehearsal again.

Opera in COVID times is certainly interesting. We have a COVID Compliance coordinator in the room with us, advising us on whether or not what we are doing is within the guidelines we were given. I feel like we are being very conservative, but because of the aerosol nature of singing, I think being cautious is important. So the singers are asked to maintain 6′ of distance between each other when standing still, and 17″ when they are singing. As much as possible, props are not shared. If they are shared, or touched by multiple people – they get santized.

I try to be a pretty stoic stage manager. But at our first onstage rehearsal, as the singers came to stage, stepping out of the wings for the first time in over a year, their tears of joy left me a little verklempt. There were lights, there was an orchestra, there was rows and rows of seats stretching back back back. There was vast expanse of space to filled with music. There was the darkness of backstage and standing in the wings. There was a crew of familiar faces – such a welcome sight after over a year. There were dressing rooms (freshly renovated!), and the soft light of dressing room mirrors. And there was this easy going sense of gratitude that we got to be here again.

Other things that happened – I accidentally set off the fire alarm at work one day. It. was. mooooortifying. I was putting away some music stands and they fell off the rack, hitting the wall in just the right way so as to trigger the fire alarm. We had to clear the building and the fire department had to come to turn off the alarm. Luckily (?) we were on a rehearsal break, so we didn’t lose that much rehearsal time. But still. One of those “I can’t believe I did that” moments.

Life: We joined a pool this summer. The nine year old really wanted to join a swim team this year. I debated whether or not to join a private pool or just go to the County pools this summer. The County pools have more features and could potentially be less expensive, but they don’t all have a swim team and are a little farther away. Then I found out that one of the private pools in our area has a trial membership option, which seemed like a low stakes way to dip our foot in the world of swim team and pool membership. They also offered swim lessons, so I signed the four year old up for that as well. It’s a pretty modest pool, and shows its age a little bit, but I’m actually really excited to spend some lazy afternoons there.

I think we’ve reached the tail end of cicada season. It’s certainly been fascinating. The noise, the crunchy exoskeletons piling up, the swarms of bugs on trees, a trail up the treetop.

What We Ate – catching up version/ somewhat incomplete.

Saturday: Sausage and peppers on sub rolls

Sunday:

Monday: Memorial Day – so we went to a friend’s house and had bbq and lots of snacks. I made a pasta salad to bring.

Tuesday: Red curry rice noodles from Dinner Illustrated. Had some yellow squash to use up.

Wednesday: The Husband Cooked since it was my first day actually going into the office.

Thursday: White Bean and Fennel Stew from Milk Street Fast and Slow. Make ahead dinner to be ready for everyone when they got home from dance class.

Friday: pizza and I Spy. A cute family film about a CIA agent and the spunky kid he teams up with.

Saturday:

Sunday:

My first full week back at work was a lot of make ahead meals that I could throw together in the morning so that the family could have dinner waiting for them after swim practice:

Monday: Greek Pasta Salad – same recipe as Memorial Day.

Tuesday: Black bean tacos with mango salsa. Black Beans made in the Instant Pot from Milk Street Fast and Slow.

Wednesday: The Husband cooked. I think he made fish, but I didn’t make it home in time for dinner

Thursday: Mushroom Quiche. The Husband made a really tasty side salad. Like so tasty, I was eating the half dried out leftovers the next morning.

Friday: Pizza take out and Hoosiers.

Saturday: My father made beef noodle soup

Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday: leftovers (for me). Husband and Kids – smoked salmon on bagels.

Wednesday: leftovers (for me). Made some Tzatziki, which the Husband served with Greek chicken and pita

Thursday: Pav Bhaji from Made in India. Also watermelon. I love watermelon season.

Friday: Leftovers (for me). Not sure what the rest of the family ate. Pizza and movie night postponed because of a swim team pep rally.

Weekly recap + what we ate – back to work!

Between the baby not sleeping and starting a new gig, this week has been quite exhausting.

It’s definitely been challenging working from home with the two little kids. I guess I’ve finally gotten to experience who women (and men, but mostly women) all over the world have had to figure out for the past year – how to keep your career and children alive simultaneously. For me, it’s been a combination of massively flexing my work hours and luck that the baby napped a couple times and the four year old can play by himself. One day I bribed him by saying that he could listen to Hamilton if he stayed in the play room while I was in a meeting. Babysitting by Hamilton. Hah! Then there were days like this:

“Pardon the typos while I work from home with a toddler.”

There was definitely a part of my strategy that recognized that the backyard was probably the most engaging place for the kids to be, and therefore the most productive place to work. Luckily my parents have come to town to help out so there weren’t too many days like that. I do feel fortunate that this prep week has been combined with a quarantine week, so that I had a large degree of flexibility in managing my time.

But it certainly is strange to work again. To remember what it’s like to ask questions and have answers and format paperwork, to think about how a show is put together, and to work with people. That last bit has been especially welcome, though it has all been by Zoom so far. What a strange strange world in which to be making art. I do miss poking my head into the cubicle next to me to ask a question. Working in isolation seems the antithesis of why I love my job, given that the arts are a medium that is supposed to bring people together – those that consume and those that create.

Things achieved:
I made two WOOP goals last week: finish two books with imminent due dates, and get 8 hours of sleep every night. I did finish two really great reads – Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria, and Hidden Valley Road. Both books were really thoughtful. Though they were about vastly different subjects, I think both books made me think about how people who are outside of mainstream society face a lot of difficulties when their obstacles are not talked about.

Things from this week:
Summer weather continues. The Husband spent many hours in the garden, often with a child or two alongside.

On Saturday, to get rid of some wood, the Husband made a fire and we roasted marshmallows despite the ninety degree weather. Which felt so wrong and so right all at the same time.

The tadpoles that we had been watching grow at the park are no longer there. We went to check out the puddle they had been swimming in and there were no tadpoles to be seen. Either they all have turned into frogs and hopped away, or the puddle dried up during one of the really hot spells last week. There had been some rain midweek and the puddle was full of water, so it was hard to tell. On the other hand, my friend Kristen had gathered a few tadpoles a couple months ago to bring to her preschool class, and this week she released the fully formed frogs into the wild. Seeing her teeny tiny frog gave me hope that the puddle tadpoles had indeed transformed into frogs and had hopped out of the puddle to find their next adventure.

The four year old makes me laugh all the time. He’s obsessed with Hamilton. When we say grace at dinner, he always adds, “And God bless Hamilton’s son.” And he will randomly sing or quote bits of the show. Like at dinner, “Mom, did you know that Hamilton wants to fight not write?”

The other day, near the end of lunch, he got out of his chair and crouched on the floor:

“Get back up here and finish lunch,” I said.
“I can’t! I’m a cicada waiting underground!”

Speaking of which – some cicada pics from this week. They are really starting to get noisy. Around our house, it’s like a subtle but constant hum. But at the park or places with more trees, it’s more like an incessant loud screeching.

I was particularly fascinated by this white cicada. At first I thought it was an albino cicada, but it turns out this is what they look like when they first emerge from their exoskeleton. It takes about half an hour for the blood to get pumping and their shells to harden and turn black. Fascinating.

The sidewalks are littered with the bodies of cicadas that don’t make it up trees. It makes for some very crunchy evening walks.

Things I savored this week:
-hugs from my kids
-eggplant fries from the local deli/diner
– reading a novel while listening to Murray Perahia play Bach’s French Suites
– that enveloping heat when getting into a 90 degree car.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Ravioli with Red Sauce and Garlic Bread.

Sunday: Tofu and veggie stir fry with Udon Noodles.

Monday: Farro salad with snap peas, cannellini beans, and tomatoes.

Tuesday: Kale Saag Paneer from Meera Sodha’s East. This was really really tasty. Homemade paneer!

Wednesday: The Husband cooked – he made taco salads.

Thursday: Sausage and Pasta in the Instant Pot – loosely based on a recipe from Milk Street Fast and Slow.

Friday: Pizza (take out – it’s been too hot to make our own) and Sonic the Hedgehog, which, surprisingly, was not as terrible as I thought it would be. It was the four year old’s choice, and it was actually kind of a fun and sweet movie.

Weekly recap + what we ate – things are heating up

I feel like summer is finally here. Like 90 degree weather and full sun here. It hasn’t tipped into the unbearable humidity yet, though. The baby pool is getting a lot of use, though the fancy water table is no longer working. However, the Husband has plans to rebuild that, so I’m excited. Also – I realized last week, that none of the kids have full swim suits. They all have tops, but no one has bottoms that fit. I guess we didn’t go to the pool this winter, so I didn’t realize it. Oh well. Swimsuits have been ordered.

Thursday was a very good day. I got my hair cut! The Husband had taken a half day off work to watch the kids so I could go to my appointment. Aside from an ill advised trim that I did on my own, my hair has been uncut for over a year. There was a lot of hair on the floor when all was said and done. The first cut was a six inch pony tail, though I only managed a sad picture of a few strands:

After the cut, I made an impulse stop of get some boba tea. Boba tea is one of my favorite indulgences, and another thing I tried to DIY this past year, but while nice, it just wasn’t the same as getting it in the store. I tried a new place and they allowed customers to customize their drinks. My order: oolong milk tea, no sugar, 50% ice, half boba and half coconut jelly. (My ideal is lychee jelly, but not a lot of places have that.) When I got home, I poured my tea into a glass and took it out to the back patio. With my newly shorn head and my special drink, it was a perfect summer moment. (Side note: apparently there’s a boba shortage! Very concerning.)

And since the Husband has taken the rest of the day off, he wrangled children, taking all of them with him to the 9 year old’s dance class while I met up with my friend Kristen for a hike. We went to Turkey Run, which is on the Potomac, and it being a weekday evening, it was quiet. For two hours, we hiked, talked, laughed, enjoyed being among trees, and occasionally hugged. It was such a good time. Grateful for: vaccines, 8:15pm sunsets, easy access to nature trails, and good friends.

I had a moment where I questioned if I should be having such a great day without my family, without even wanting to be with them, or missing them. But I think I’m okay with it. I think I’m okay with the best day I’ve had in a long time be one where I was by myself.

The cicadas have really been coming out this week. The kids are fascinated by them and on our evening walks, they look for cicadas. The Husband told them that the cicadas are trying to get to the trees to climb upwards, so the four year old has taken to rescuing them from the sidewalk and using a stick to carry them to the nearest tree.

Also – a good reminder of a toddler’s perfect squat.

I’ve been taking many many pictures of them. I’m fascinated by their many stages of being, their slow emergence as they molt, their buggy red eyes, their wings, their slow steady march up tree trunks, the exoskeletons they leave behind that still cling lifelessly as if for their lives.

The variety of cicadas to be found nearby.

Some fun discoveries this week:

I realized that just as our public library has lots of great online programming these day, so do other libraries. This week I signed up for two small sessions through the LA County Library – which was my library system when I was growing up. I logged into a session called “Relaxing with Art” and a toddler story time. The presenter for the Art session talked about the benefits of drawing as a way of decompressing and then led some drawing exercises. I’ve been missing having a weekly drawing assignment since my drawing class ended and it was nice to pick up my pencil and have some short art exercises to do.

The toddler story time was actually really interesting because I found out that LA County has a program where parents of young children can call in and talk to a parenting expert if there is something that they are struggling with. It’s certainly not something to be used in lieu of talking to a pediatrician, but having free parenting support available to the community in a variety of languages is so fantastic.

Took the kids on a hike and we saw herons! That was pretty cool.

The nine year old started going to in person piano lessons this week. I had to to take the two younger kids with me this week, but the Husband has said I can leave them at home in subsequent weeks. This means I’ll have 30 wonderful minutes to myself. I’m thinking of bringing my yoga mat and getting some yoga in while I hang out in the teacher’s back yard. If I were a runner, that would also have been ideal, but I’m not…. Also side note – there’s a lady in our community who will come to your child’s sport practices and lead a yoga class. How brilliant is that?

I’ve picked back up with the Science of Well Being Course. This week’s lecture talked about WOOP technique for setting positive goals. WOOP stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan. What I thought was interesting was that Laurie Santos, the professor of the course, suggests that “Outcome” asks you not just to think about best outcomes from achieving what you want (Wish, first step), but to also think of the worst outcomes if you don’t. I think I tend to be motivated by focusing on the positive of achieving my goals, but the negative ramifications of failure are probably just as strong a motivator. In fact, I think the negative thoughts are what inspire me to make the goals in the first place. There are many times in the course where Santos talks about how one’s baseline for satisfaction moves and every so often you need to remind yourself what it was like to be at the bottom in order to counteract dissatisfaction. Of course you can belabour the point and be an insufferable optimist, or, conversely be an interminable pessimist, but I do think there is value in recognizing that your brain often adjusts its standards of happiness – happiness inflation, they call it.

Anyhow, I’ve decided to WOOP some goals this next week. Namely getting more sleep and finishing two books from the library that are due imminently.

The start of the summer shoe tan:

I also got the sandals out this week! Another sign of summer.

Made a key lime pie last weekend. The husband came home with a bag of key limes. I usually just use regular limes when I make key lime pie. But he was so excited, so I gave it a shot. These things are labor intensive! A whole bag of key limes made barely enough juice for one pie. There was a distinct taste from using key limes, but I can’t for the life of me describe it, and regular limes make tasty pies too. So I might stick with regular limes. (See above about baseline level of happiness.)

Because you have to take a taste before you know if it’s worth taking a picture!

This man, seen at the side of the road on our Friday evening commute home. What the what? The Husband says he is here every Friday. It was vastly entertaining, but perhaps the resulting rubbernecking could be dangerous?

I was stopped at a redlight when I snapped this, lest you think I take pictures while driving….

It’s been a rough week for sleep. We’ve moved the baby into the big kids room and she is sleeping on her crib mattress on the floor. She has had a rough time adjusting, perhaps only sleeping through the night one night out of seven. Luckily the other kids are heavy sleepers.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Tortellini with pasta sauce. We had met some families at a local brewery that afternoon and had lots of snack, so we weren’t terribly hungry by the time we got home.

Sunday: Sweet Potato and Poblano Tacos (from Dinner Illustrated), with homemade tortillas. I haven’t made tortillas in a while, and I’d forgotten how easy and tasty they are.

Monday: Eggplant and coconut rice from Meera Sodha’s East.

Tuesday: Mushroom crostada and bagged Caesar Salad.

Wednesday: Dosa and dal from Sdha’s Fresh Indian. I was quite proud of this meal. It was very time consuming to make, but very simple. And, if one makes the filling ahead of time, making the dosas actually comes together quite quickly. Not quite like at our favorite restaurant – these dosas get soggy if not eaten right away and are much smaller – but okay for at home.

Thursday: The Husband got burgers, fries and milkshakes from Five Guys. Normally I make dinner before dance class, and the fact that I didn’t have to make dinner made the day even more awesome. And while it’s not something I should do often, eating a jalapeno mushroom burger and fries at 10:30pm just feels really good sometimes.

Friday: Pizza and Hairspray, the original John Waters movie. I thought that the movie would feel dated, but it doesn’t really.

Books Read in April 2021

A lot of audiobooks this month. Some really fun and fluffy reads and some reads that made me think about economic inequities and how does one get ahead in life.

Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyrou, read by Will Damron – Engrossing and fascinating story of Elizabeth Holmes and her fraudulent biotech startup Therenos. The whole story of how Holmes became a Silicon Valley darling through brazen lies, cover ups and threats had me riveted. Then the book gets into how Carreyrou, a Wall Street Journal reporter, pursued the story, and the book ratcheted up to a whole other level of suspense and intrigue. I read this shortly after I read Rutger Bregman’s Utopia for Realists, and I found really compelling the contrast between Bregman’s advocacy for a 15 hour work week, and the intense and unhealthy pressure of Silicon Valley.

Bringing Down the Duke by Evie Dunmore – 5h 14m. Fun romance novel about suffragette and scholar Annabelle Archer and the Duke that she targets in order to further the women’s movement. The plot was forgettable, but the characters were really fun and well written. The Duke of Montgomery is my romance hero catnip – the stiff do-gooder who is desperately trying to do the right thing when the “right thing” is to not fall in love. A la Mr. Darcy.

The Dutch House by Ann Patchett, read by Tom Hanks – This book was vaguely on my To Be Read list, but then I saw that Tom Hanks performs the audiobook and I immediately put it on my Read/Listen Now list. The novel, about the children who are left behind when their mother leaves them, thoughtfully explores what we call home and the people we let into our lives. Hanks’ narration is breezy and casual and curious – his approach is more of reading the book aloud and discovering it with the listener, rather than trying to dramatically bring the story to life.

How to Eat a Peach by David Chang with Gabe Ulla – 6h 8m. Memoir by the chef behind Momofuku. I put this book on hold after hearing an interview with Chang on Fresh Air. In his memoir, Chang talks about his rise to the top of the food world and the sense of urgency and drive that kept him there. He is also really honest about the racism and classism in the food industry – how pasta, for example, is expensive and “fancy”, but noodles are expected to be cheap.

In Five Years by Rebecca Serle – 3h, 26m. A “what if” novel about a young lawyer Danni who gets a glimpse of her future – literally she wakes up five years in the future and after a few hours returns to her present – and then spends the rest of the novel wondering how she gets there. This book was a little unexpected for me. But, of course, the future often is.

Block Chain Chicken Farm by Xiaowei Wang – 5 h, 39m. I can’t remember how this book ended up in my holds list, but it was a fascinating read. In a series of essays, Wang explores how technology, globalization, and capitalism has affected rural China. In doing so she really makes a case that the idea that rural culture is backwards and urban living, specifically Western urban living, is the ideal is quite dehumanizing for much of China’s population.
“Metronormativity fuels the notion that the internet, technology, and media literacy will somehow “save” or “educate” rural people, either by allowing the to experience the broader world, offering other livelihoods, or reducing misinformation.”
Technology must be adapted to the people that it should serve, not the other way around. But a lot of technology these days is designed around a very homogeneous user – for example, if someone in rural China doesn’t know pin yin (a method of transliterating Chinese characters) a lot of technology is unavailable to them. A very thought provoking read. (Also – can someone explain blockchain to me? I feel like there was a whole section of the book I didn’t quite understand.)

Nomadland by Jessica Bruder, read by Karen White – Bruder follows the lives of RV and van dwellers – modern day nomads, many of whom were forced into the wandering life in their middle ages (and later) because of life circumstances. Picking up jobs where they can – at Amazon factories, at campsites, farms – these migrants have learned to build a life for themselves as fewer and fewer Americans can afford to retire. Bruder’s book really challenges the idea that we are sold whereby if you work hard you can save up to retire comfortably. The people that Bruder meet meet life with creativity and resilience and surprising hope. It’s a sympathetic, yet unsentimental look at life on the road.

Reading with the Kids:
Prairie Lotus by Linda Sue Park. Read aloud with the nine year old. When Park, who is Korean-American, was little, she often would imagine that she was Laura Ingalls best friend, even while recognizing the racism of the Little House books. Prairie Lotus was her attempt to reconcile that conflict. The book tells the story of Hanna, a half Chinese girl who travels to the Dakota Territory with her father to start a new life in a new town. Park’s writing was filled with a lot of great details about frontier life and the people of that time and doesn’t shy away from issues of racism.

Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins, read by Paul Boehmer – While watching his two year old sister one day, Gregor falls down a chute in the laundry room and finds himself in the Underland, a world full of giant bats, snakes, rats as well as humans. Realizing this world might be the clue to finding his missing father, Gregor goes on a quest to find him. We listened to this audiobook on our way to and from school this month. While the plot was certainly engaging, I had a lot of anxiety over the idea of a twelve year old questing with a his baby sister strapped to his back. Also it’s one of those books where the point of the quest seems to be to kill off as many questers as possible… which is not really my jam.

Stargazing by Jennifer Wang – graphic novel. I’ve been trying to borrow more diverse books for my kids and this was one that check out for the nine year old. I decided to read it myself before returning. When Moon and her mother move in to the in law unit belonging to Christine’s family, the two Chinese American girls become friends despite their differences. A warm story about both having good friends and being a good friend, and the complicated feelings that friends can bring. I thought this was a lovely book.

Picture Books: Some that’s we’ve been enjoying this month
Toro Gomi’s simple picture books.
Brian Biggs Tinyville Town Gets to Work, about a town that builds a new bridge to solve a traffic problem.
Joyce Wan’s The Whale in My Swimming Pool, and The Bear in My Bed, two books about a little boy who finds large animals in inconvenient places. Sophie’s Squash by Pat Zietlow Miller, about a little girl who adopts a squash.

Weekly recap + what we ate – “tend and befriend”

Last weekend was mother’s day.

I told the husband that I wanted four things:
1) a nice picture with all three kids.
2) to go on a hike with everyone
3) a couple hours to myself where I didn’t have to parent
4) to eat dinner without anyone sitting on my lap.

We achieved 1 and 2.

To be fair, when I pointed out to the Husband that #3 didn’t happen, he promptly made plans to allow me time the following weekend (like now! so I can write).

And #4 is honestly probably a lost cause unless I don’t eat with the family.

I don’t know if it’s because of the excessive amount of togetherness this past year as we’ve all been under pandemic lockdown, but “time alone!” seemed to be the most requested mother’s day gift I’ve seen this year among my mom friends and groups. Perhaps last year, when we were newly in staying at home, and COVID cases were rising, mothers were in a better place mentally to savour and cherish the unrelieved time with their kids. But a year later… I think many of us are just burnt out from being responsible for the care, feeding, schooling, providing, working…. from all of it. From having to be so responsible for everyone else. And this mother’s day, I think many of us caregivers just want time to themselves, to slip the bonds of responsibility.

(This is not to say men haven’t had to be responsible too… the Husband has been a very equal partner. But study after study shows that the additional burdens brought about by pandemic living has disproportionately fallen on the shoulders of women. In fact, a lot of men I know are living their best lives right now while working from home….)

On Mother’s Day proper, we went on a hike at Red Rock Wilderness Overlook. The site features some remains of historic buildings – an ice house, carriage house, etc – which I always love seeing. The hike itself at first seemed quite gentle, a grassy meandering stroll through woods that came to an overlook of the Potomac. Perhaps it is the endless Hamilton listening that we’ve been doing lately, but I couldn’t look at this river without thinking of everything it has seen – the lives, the wars, the comings and goings.

As we hiked along the river overlook, we came to a precipitous drop off, across which a tree had fallen. Always up for an adventure, and having somewhat lost the path, we scrabbled downwards until we came to the shores of the Potomac. Here there was ample opportunity to throw rocks and sticks into the river and the nine year old found a rock face to scale. I was quite impressed by how high she managed to climb.

A scramble back up the banks of the river and we found the trail blazes again and headed back to the parking lot. This was a hike that was in our “Best Hikes for Kids” book that I had gotten, which is probably one of the best things I bought all last year. The baby managed a lot of the hike, though the Husband did carry her a couple times. She is getting to be a sturdy little hiker.

The nine year old had Thursday off, so the Husband took a half day and we went to the Air and Space Museum. I had heard that the Smithsonian had been loaned an X-wing Starfighter recently and before it was sent to the Air and Space Museum downtown, it would be cleaned and checked for damage at the restoration hanger at the Air and Space Museum by the airport. So the Husband got us tickets and we spent an afternoon with all manner of aircrafts and flight history. It was our first visit to a museum in over a year and I feel really grateful that we have such easy access to so many museums here. I can’t wait until the rest of the Smithsonian museums open back up. And the National Gallery of Art too. I’ve missed seeing things in real life.

Some tidbits from this week:

A Great Podcast Episode: I was listening to this episode of On Being where Krista Tippett talks to clinical psychologist Christine Runyon about the physiological effect the isolation and stress of the pandemic has had on us. One point that really struck with me is Runyon’s idea that along with “flight”, “fight”, and “freeze,” we, particularly women, also have another survival instinct which is “Tend and Befriend.” They go on to discuss how difficult it has been during the pandemic to not be able to “befriend” or form alliances or gather as a community, because for a lot of women, that is their reaction to a crisis. There are physiological tolls to being alone. The link above is to the broadcast episode; the “tend and befriend” discussion is in the unedited episode, and it was such a fantastic conversation to hear.

The county has put the basketball hoops back up. During the pandemic, at least one hoop on every county court was removed, to prevent people from gathering to play basketball games. Not sure how effective that was. But this week I’ve noticed that all the hoops are back up. One little sign of things going back to normal.

Speaking of which – I’m thinking about the new guidelines from CDC for masking. Or rather unmasking. Namely that fully vaccinated people can resume activities without masks or social distancing. Of course the children are not vaccinated. So I think I will continue to have them mask up at playgrounds and on playdates. I will probably wear a mask when I’m with my kids as a show of solidarity, and also while indoors at stores or what not – particularly since I feel like a lot of businesses around here will keep mask mandates in place. But maybe not? Our County has been somewhat conservative with mask mandates in the past, but they seem to be in line with our state regulations right now, which is for lifting mask mandates. Indoor dining is probably still outside of my comfort zone.

The kids got new shoes! Just in time for summer. I love our shoe store.

Perfect summer snack- cucmbers with “sprinkle”, either Pico Fruta, or Sesame Seaweed Furikake.

Tadpole update – They have legs!

Frugal food wins – Sad bunch of collards, wilted and neglected –> Collard chips! Seasoned with dill, garlic powder, onion powder and nutritional yeast, giving them a nice ranch flavour.

The cicadas have started to emerge. We took an evening walk on Friday night and had to tread carefully. There has been a lot of attention given to the cicadas, I’m actually quite excited.

Four Year Old Quote of the Week: “You have to rise up, just like Hamilton.”

What We Ate:

Saturday: Grilling! Kielbasa from our favorite Polish Deli, and grilled veggies. I love how easy grilling is with the gas grill. I never thought I would convert from charcoal, but while I miss the chemical aftertaste of charcoal, the ease of the gas grill is hard to beat.

Sunday: Indian/ Nepalese food take out.

Monday: Gochujang Roasted Cabbage and Carrots with Udon Noodles and Pan Fried Tofu.

Tuesday: Pasta Salad with leftover grilled veggies from Saturday, and Mango Salad from Meera Sodha’s Made in India.

Wednesday: Salmon Curry Coconut Rice from Milk Street’s Cook-ish, and pan seared Brussel Sprouts.

Thursday: Take out from a vegetarian Chinese food place near the Air and Space Museum.

Friday: Pizza take out and bagged Caesar Salad and The Booksellers, a documentary about antiquarian booksellers. A nostalgic, wistful account of our love of printed material. Oh the beautiful shelves of books in this film!