Author: Diane

Weekly recap + what we ate: New York City

I started typing this on the train back to DC from New York City. My sister in law – who lives in Amsterdam – has a workshop in NYC this coming week and brought the whole family, so we went up to see them and spend some time together. The Husband went up on Friday morning with the two little kids and the 13 year old and I went up that evening after camp and work.

The trip up was a little tedious – we had a bit of a tight turnaround between getting home in the afternoon and having to leave to catch the Metro to the train station. There might have been a few rough teen moments involving a screen not being unlocked and threats of not coming along. But we did make it to the train station with barely enough time. Only to find the train was delayed; the trains were running a little more slowly due to the high heat. That was certainly frustrating. If I knew we were going to have an extra hour, I might have not felt as rushed and might have handled the unlocking of the tablet with a bit more patience. Oh well. We made it to NYC eventually and were at the hotel by midnight- we were staying at a Residence Inn in midtown – not the cheapest option, but very convenient and the rooms were nice and more spacious than I had expected for a hotel in midtown.

(Side note – the train just made an announcement reminding people to lock the doors if they use the bathroom. !!! I’m so curious if there was an incident or if this is a standard announcement they make???)

The next day, we had quite a fun, packed New York Saturday. (I’m not a travel blogger, so I didn’t take a lot of photos, but I’ll dump a few into this post… ) We started by having hotel breakfast. It was the usual fare – waffles, hot bar of eggs and sausage, cereal, toast, oatmeal, etc. One nice surprise, though, was that there was a big bowl of raw spinach. And it was really tasty spinach too. I don’t suppose raw spinach screams “Breakfast food!”, but I did appreciate being able to start my day with a serving of something green. Sometimes I find when traveling it’s hard to get greens into me.

After breakfast we met up with my Sister in law and her family at a lovely shady park on 42nd and 2nd – Mary O’Connor Playground. I love how there are all these playgrounds tucked in between building in New York, giving people a bit of green space and air in a very dense crowded city. We sat on benches and chatted while the kids played – my SIL has two kids about the same age ast the littles. Even though we only see my SIL and her family once a year or two, the kids love hanging out and get along so well together.

We let the kids play for a while then we headed to Brooklyn. We had planned to spend most of the day in Brooklyn because it just seemed a little calmer than Manhattan and very family friendly. Also since my SIL’s family would be in NYC all week, they already had plans for exploring Manhattan itself. We took the Subway to Brooklyn Bridge Park, and took in views of the Brooklyn Bridge and then went to year another playground. Then we wandered to Montague St. for lunch, picking up sandwiches and eating at picnic tables on the sidewalk. I had a delicious Ham, Brie, and Fig Jam sandwich with arugula. Brie and jam is such a delicious combination!

Following lunch we went to the New York Transit Museum. Here we learned all about the NY Subway system, how it was built, how it has evolved. There is also a whole other room devoted to bus/ trolley/ cable car transit. And then on the lower level there was a huge collection of retired subway cars that you could go into. I really loved this museum – it was a good bleand of history and nostalgia for me. And while the kids weren’t really into all the informational placards, they loved getting to play in the ticket boots, subway cars, and the fake buses. I think this museum is all good blend of interesting for adults and fun for kids – highly recommend. Also – the tickets are cheap: $10 for adults and $5 for kids. We also got shirts and magnets at the gift shop because we discovered that there is a subway line for each of our first initials, so we each got a shirt and magnet with our corresponding subway line on it. It was incredibly nerdy, but made me so happy.

I loved this – I’m such a font geek.
Subway line magnets! I feel like we should all be a family of lawyers given our initials.

After the transit museum, we went back to our hotel to rest a little until dinner time. Dinner was at a Mexican restaurant – my SIL says that the Mexican food in Amsterdam is terrible so whenever she comes back to the States we go out to Mexican food. The Husband and I split and order of grilled octopus tacos and an order of fish tacos and they were both delicious. The octopus was so tender and slightly smoky from the grill.

My Sister In Law’s family went back to their hotel after dinner, and the Husband and I and the kids wandered around NY a little bit. Went to Bryant Park, and visited Kinokuniya, the Japanese Manga/Stationary store across the street. We had visited that store in January when I had brought the kids to see Hadestown and I was eager to go back. The Husband bought something that was perfect for his Secret Santa group. I’m dying to post a picture of it here, but I’ll keep mum in case someone from his group reads this blog (VERY unlikely…) Myself, I bought some Coleto Hi-Tec-C multi pens. They are customizable multi-pens; you buy the barrel and then you can pick what colors and size point you want in them. I’ve been wanting one for our family calendar so I can color code each person’s activities – I have multi pens, but there are five people in the family and all the conventionally available multipens of decent quality have only four colors so I was using two pens with different colors to cover our family. Coleto pens come in barrels of 3 to 5 inks so I could customize one pen barrel that would work for the whole family. I was going to order them from jet pens, but it is so much more fun to buy them from an actual store.

Our new family calendar pen!

We left Kinokuniya and wandered up to Korea Town. I had read that there were some fun stores and an amazing dessert place in Ktown, so I thought we’d check it out. New York City is CROWDED! I’m always amazed at how busy the town is even later in the evening when a city like Washington DC would be winding down. DC is pretty dead after, say, 8pm, but it was almost 8pm by the time we got to Ktown and it seemed like the night was just starting. In Ktown we checked out Teso Life, a Japanese convenience/ drug store that is loaded with all sorts of Asian snacks, beauty supplies, toys, housewares, etc. Browsing the snacks is always a lot of fun – of note were the scallop chips, the matcha Oreos, the orange and chocolate Kit Kats.

We also swung by a K-pop store, but it was kind of a madhouse and we’re not really K-pop fans, so we didn’t stay long. Then we went to a dessert cafe called Grace Street. We ordered strawberry and grape tang hulu (the candy coated fruit that we tried to make earlier this summer, and which is very popular in Taiwan), a Nutella mochi waffle, and mango shaved ice. It was all amazing. Korean shaved ice is different from Taiwanese shaved ice because it is finer and often made from milk. This was my first time having Korean shaved ice and it did not disappoint. Sweet and creamy yet not too heavy, with mango, banana, mango popping bubbles, and mango syrup. The mochi waffle was also delicious – crispy on the outside with that mochi chew in the inside, not too sweet and covered with Nutella, strawberries and whip cream. If you are looking for an NYC dessert, I highly recommend Grace Street Cafe!

After we finished dessert, we headed home. This time, we took the bus back to the hotel. The bus was a nice change from being on packed subways all day. We were actually the only ones on the bus to start, though only one other person got on while we were riding. It was nice to see the city from the bus as we drove back to midtown – the people and the lights and the beautifully lit shop windows and neon signs. The ride was a calm way to get home after such a packed day.

The next morning, I got on the 9:05am train to make it back to DC in time for rehearsal. Well, not quite in time. As I was getting off the metro at home, the heavens opened up and there was a veritable deluge. I was unprepared for this and had to walk home with nary an umbrella or raincoat. It was the wettest, most miserable walk of my life. But I got home, quickly changed and headed to work, though I ended up being forty minutes late to rehearsal.

So that was our trip to New York City! Like I said, I’m not a travel blogger so there aren’t any gorgeous vacation photos from our little jaunt, but rest assured the food was tasty, the sights were iconic, the people watching was colourful, and the city bustle was energizing. Every time I visit New York, I leave feeling that I only saw a teeny tiny bit of it and that there is so much more to see and do, and at the same time, I’m glad I don’t live there – the pace would be overwhelming for me to live every single day. All in all, though, it was a nice little break from a week of work and camp and commuting.

Some fun and frustrating things last week:

-Field Trip with he 13 year old’s theatre camp group. I got to accompany the campers to a production of Midsummers NIghts’s Dream by the Synetic Theatre. Synetic Theater specialized in wordless theatre – everything is told through movement, dance, acrobatics, stage combat, etc. The performance was so beautifully precise and over all show was amazing – how the actors were able to tell the story, to make us laugh and gasp and sigh, just by using their bodies. I knew the story going in, but I think even still the storytelling was so clear. Afterward, the 13 year old said, “Not having to think about the words made it easier to think about the story and the characters.” I thought that was such an interesting point.

I want to see more by Synetic Theater now, but I heard they actually just lost their space so their future is a little bit up in the air. Bummer.

-In the category of frustrating, but resolved – I had a jury summons last week. The notice had come before I booked the current job, and to be quite honest I had forgotten about it until the weekend before. I had no little amount of anxiety about this – I’m not the most important person in the rehearsal room, but it is inconvenient to miss rehearsal, plus I was missing a day and a half of rehearsal already to go to New York. I was mostly frustrated at myself for not taking putting in for a postponement sooner. Anyhow, I called the Jury Services office Monday morning ( I was to appear on Tuesday) and they said I needed a letter from my employer to request a postponement. I feel really bad asking people for things last minute because I messed up, but I took a deep breath and called my boss. He was actually great and very understanding and wrote me a letter saying that I was working on a one night only show and that it was important that I was available for rehearsal. I managed to get to the Jury Services Office an hour before they closed. Thankfully their turnaround time was quick, and now I’ll report for Jury service in October. But it was a stressful day for sure as I wondered if I would be able to postpone service.
I’ve been summoned maybe three or four times in the past couple of years, and did get to serve on a jury once. I was an assault case, where someone intentionally rear ended someone else. Being on the jury was such a fascinating process. Truth, I found it flabbergasting that twelve people with no law degree got to argue about the definition of “deadly weapon”, as the charge was actually “assault with a deadly weapon.” Eye opening for sure.

-I’ve been trying to run in the mornings these days. I realized that I can leave the kids at home with the 13 year old for 30 minutes while I run and I’ve been taking advantage of it. Last summer I would run at work on my dinner break, but it’s been so hot this year that it’s more appealing to run at 7am than at 1pm or 5:30pm. I still don’t love running, but being able to do it when there is shade and the sun is not blazing makes me dislike it less.
Also – super fun, on two of my runs last week, at least one kid came with me. The 8 year old and 5 year old had asked me one morning as I was lacing up my shoes if they could come too. I’m all for anything that will get the kids outside and moving, so I said yes. The second time was they Friday they were to drive up to NYC; I hadn’t even been planning on going for a run and the 8 year old said, ‘Can we go run? I’m going to spend all day in the van so I want to have some exercise today.” Truth – they are SLOW. I tried to do 2 min walking/2 min running intervals, but it was more like 1 min run/ 5 min walk. Oh well, I’ll take what I can get. It was also really fun to see all the other runners giving them encouragement as they ran past us. One runner said to me, “I like your run team!”

-The kids are obsessed with the sountrack to Kpop Demon Hunters lately. I guess the 8 year old watched it at Taiwan camp. (The 5 year old reports that all they got to watch was Bluey in Mandarin.) Okay, I have to admit it is helluva catchy. I ran to the song Golden one day at it kept me going at a good pace. The frustrating aspect to that fun thing is that it is the ONLY THING they will listen to – it sometimes feels like extortion because they won’t do their chores unless I put the soundtrack on for them.

-Traffic traffic traffic. I am seriously considering if I ever want to do this gig again, the traffic is soul sucking. One day I left at 8:30am, dropped the 5 year old at camp and didn’t get to work until 10:30am, moving along the whole time at a slow crawl. Google Maps took me through some parts of the city that I’d never seen before – so I guess that’s a plus, I got to see some beautiful neighborhoods.

Grateful for:
-Tap to pay on NYC subway. You can now just tap your credit card (or phone) to pay on the subway. It’s so convenient – no having to buy tickets and try to swipe them. I”m all about seamless transit. (Interestingly, the Transit Museum had a placard that talked about how tap to ride was the wave of the future – guess they can now update that display, because the future is HERE!)

-Audiobooks.

-That the 13 year old still is okay with me sitting with her at lunch when she’s with her friends. I was a little nervous on the field trip that the 13 year old would want me to disappear, but she actually wanted me to sit with her and her friends. I remember when I was that age, I refused to let my mom sit with me and my friends when I went to soccer tournaments. (Why was I such an asshole to my mother? Sorry, Mom!)

-Being home for dinner two nights this week.

-Our Lead Negotiator. We’re in the midst of union negotiations right now and I’m really grateful for the person at our Union who is navigating us through the process. Negotiations aren’t really something I will talk about about specifically here, but it’s taking up a lot of my mental energy right now. Grateful to my union.

-Beautiful weather for our NYC trip. The day before had been in the high 90s so I was a little nervous about our planned day wandering the city. But the day turned out to be in the low 80s and just cloudy enough to take the edge off the sun. That combined with the periodic breeze made it a perfect New York summer day.

-The Husband packing lunches. He’s been packing the camp lunches the past few weeks, and it’s taken such a load off my morning.

Looking Forward To:
-Free day from work and taking the kids to the pool. We haven’t been to the pool since the end of swim season. While the break has been nice, I’m looking forward to going to the pool on our own pace and not rushing because we’re late for practice.

-Tomatoes. Given to us by our friend from his CSA – he doesn’t like tomatoes. What should I do with two large summer ripe tomatoes

-Going to rehearsal every day, and also having the mornings off. I genuinely look forward to rehearsal every day. The director is easy to work with, the other stage managers are kind and competent, and there is just a sense of all of use working together – I just look forward to seeing what we create every day. Also, the current show rehearses in the afternoon and evening, so I have the mornings open. Of course I have the kids with me, yet knowing how much I lamented losing my summer with them when I booked this gig, I do love these pockets of mornings to spend with them. The 5 year old made a summer fun list today:

In case you can’t read the 5 year old’s handwriting, the list says: Hang out; Relax; make popsicles; go to the pool; Mom Dad Lulu (what she calls her big sister) – I think that means she wants to spend time with us.

-The 13 year old’s showcase for her musical theatre summer training program. It’s been a little up and down emotionally this summer because she wasn’t given as many solos as she wanted in musical numbers. On the other hand, she apparently has a big part in the dance number (which, considering that she’s not a dancer, is pretty cool), and she’s playing Rosalind in the scene from As You Like it. It hasn’t been the camp experience she wanted, but I think she’s been learning to stretch different muscles.

-Snacks! I went to Trader Joe’s and went a little crazy with the chips and then also stopped at Giant and filled up on other snacks.

Those are Carolina Gold BBQ chips, Deli Sandwich chips, and Dill Pickle chips. Along with lots of other tasty things. Whatever gets us through the day…

– My next audiobook – I’m almost finished with an Agatha Christie radio play and then I’ll move on to this book:

What We Ate:
Monday: Pork and eggplant stir fry with udon noodles. The Husband cooked. This was really tasty. I ate leftovers wrapped in a tortilla for lunch later in the week.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday – squash and turkey tacos. Trying to eat up some summer squash that was languishing in our fridge. The Husband cooked.

Wednesday: German potato salad, Brazilian cheese buns, and steamed green beans. I asked the kids

Thursday: Breakfast sandwiches (The Husband cooked at home.) leftovers for me at work.

Friday: Sandwiches from Pret a Manger at the train station.

Saturday: Amor Loco – tasty Mexican food in NYC.

Sunday: Leftovers, eaten at work. Basically I looked into the fridge and grabbed whatever leftovers were available and it happened to be two week old leftover Burmese food. I guess it’s lucky I didn’t get food poisoning…

Welp, I can’t believe August is just about here! School starts in less than a month for us, which is a little terrifying. I didn’t even write my June reflections yet. Oh well… summer keeps rolling, and I hope yours is going well. Have a lovely week!

What is the most unique chip flavor you’ve ever eaten? What colours would you want in a multi-pen? Are you on the Kpop Demon Hunters bandwagon? We don’t even have Netflix and the family is obsessed! Tell me, what little things have made life easier these days?

Weekly recap + what we ate: July so far – Fourth of July, re-entry, camp, swim, work

I started to write this post almost two weeks ago, but then there was some glitch with my website and error messages, and I felt a little bit of despair. I despaired for a whole day, wondering if this wasn’t a sign from the universe that my little corner of the internet had run its course and that I should just let it go. Then the Husband told me to stop wallowing and just contact tech support. Which I did and the issue was fixed in less than thirty minutes. (Bluehost’s issue, not mine.) But the whole thing did make me think about if I wanted to still show up here and word vomit into the universe. Between being in South Africa and the site being down, I had a bit of time to think about all that. And you know what? I really think I do want to keep showing up. At least for a little while.

Anyhow, here’s the old news – some of this was drafted weeks ago, before life got busy and my site went down – : The 13 year old and I have been back from South Africa for a while and back into summer camps and swim team.(Note: This weekend was the last week of summer swim team season, but I didn’t want to go back and rewrite this whole post… so you get the old news.) We got back late the evening of July 3rd. The Husband picked us up; the two little kids were at at Taiwanese cultural camp with my mother. It was their first overnight away camp type experience and I was afraid they would not adjust well, but all reports were that they had a great time and there was NO CRYING! Wow. Considering that the 5 year old bawled all the way to the airport when dropping the 13 year and I off for South Africa, I had my concerns, but apparently Taiwan camp beats mom and big sister.

July 4th was pretty chill since it was just the 13 year old, the Husband, and I. We went to see F1 – it was a quintessential summer popcorn movie. The whole movie, set in the world of Formula 1 racing actually felt very much like a cowboy movie – the lonely man with the checkered past comes in to save the day, then rides off into the sunset. It was very entertaining. An air conditioned movie theatre, popcorn and cherry Coke for lunch – that just screams summer to me. Afterwards we went to buy bike helmets – our bike helmet were five or six years old and needed replacing. That evening we had pizza and movie night. Finding pizza take-out on July 4th was a bit of an ordeal as all our usual places were closed. We ended up ordering Little Caesar’s. We watched Theatre Camp (funny, but I admit I fell asleep for the last little bit – jet lag) and the Capitol Fourth fireworks on TV and went to bed.

Saturday, we went to pick up the two little kids and my mom from Taiwan camp, with a stop at Longwood Gardens along the way. The weather was hot and sunny, and the gardens were a riot of colour. I played our rainbow game, and it didn’t take long to find all the colours. I even found blue. It’s kind of a purple-y blue, but the flower is called “Blue Bedder” so I’m counting it:

That evening, we went to the Taiwan Camp’s Taiwan Night Performances. All the kids groups did either a dance number or a skit. Even the parents, grandparents, and staff each had their own dance number. Some of those Taiwanese grandmothers have amazing dance moves. The two littles barely said hi to us, they were having so much fun with their groups. We actually skipped out of Taiwan Night early to go to our hotel for the night.

The next morning, we had a bit of time before we had to pick everyone up, so we had a leisurely hotel breakfast (why are the waffles at the free hotel breakfast so tasty???), went to a garden store, then we went to a tea/coffee shop and the 13 year old and I got boba and played Othello. Have you ever played Othello? My brother and I used to play it together all the time – it’s so simple yet so absorbing. I might have to put it on the Christmas list for the kids (and me).

We picked up the kids from the University campus where Taiwan camp was being held, and had dinner with them at the cafeteria. It has been an age since I was in a college cafeteria/dining hall, and the experience filled me with nostalgia and wonder. I remember those days of endless cereal and soft serve. Of getting your food on trays and then looking for a place to sit. This dining hall was so much bigger than the one I had in college and it kind of blew me away – there were two salad bars, three hot bars (one which was vegan, which definitely wasn’t a thing when I wen to college), a grill, a pizza bar, cereal bar, a ramen bar, dessert bar with soft serve. The choices were mind-boggling. It really made me think of the economics of serving massive amounts of people.

After lunch, we picked up everyone’s suitcases from their dorm room – another nostalgia trip – remember communal living? Common rooms and late night hang outs? Roommates. The barebones furniture and bare walls. The dorms they stayed in had bathrooms in each double, which was also another upgrade from when I was in college with the bathrooms down the hall, shared among eight or ten people.

On the way home we stopped at the Pringel Family Creamery for ice cream and our annual end of school questions and answer session. The actual last days of school were so scattered and what with prepping for our trip, we never got around to our annual tradition. So we decided that this would be a good time to get everyone on record as to how school went. I had cone that was half dark chocolate ice cream and half strawberry, and it was delicious.

We arrived home tired and sticky, but the little kids very much wanted to go to raft night at the pool, so we unpacked and then I found the inflatable ring, blew it up with my own lungs and we went to the pool. So all in all, a very full Fourth of July weekend. Lots of summer things going on.

The rest of the week was spent driving the kids to camp and the pool. South Africa is 6 hours earlier than D.C., so I had a little bit of jet lag – mostly waking up at 5:30am, which I actually kind of liked. I don’t know if that will continue, but it really makes me think of how waking up an hour before the kids really changes how my mornings shake out. (note: the naturally waking at 5:30am is no longer a thing. Now I’m dragging myself out of bed at 6:00am.)

Other life updates-

We had our last swim meet this past weekend. I love swim team season, but I’m so glad to be done for a while. Fun thing, though, at the pool this past weekend, the 5 year old and the 8 year old started to figure out how to dive. The 13 year old helped them and gave them pointers, and I just loved watching her encourage her younger siblings. The possibility of all three kids being on swim team next year is not as wild as I had thought. As for me, I can’t dive myself, so I’m thinking maybe this summer I’ll get the 13 year old to teach me too.

Since the 5 year old is no longer in daycare, I had a few weeks with just her at home while the other kids were at camp. It’s always fun to have some one on one time with a kid. We went to the park, rode the carousel, she came with me to work a few times, she showed up in some Zoom calls, and we did a lot of watercolour painting. It was such a soothing activity. And so pretty too!

Some by me, some by the 5 year old.

The big curveball that was thrown me this summer was that three days before I left for South Africa, I got an email asking if I was available to step in last minute for an Assistant Stage Manager on a show. The inquiry was from the opera company that I usually work for during the summer – I hadn’t booked work with them this year because the South Africa trip conflicted with the shows they wanted to offer me. This third show, though, would be after we came back. The job offer certainly threw me for a loop.

In a mad flurry, I talked to the Husband. In addition to the childcare issue, there is a time issue. The job features a long commute and lots of evening rehearsals. My working the summer would also make the evenings harder for him. Luckily rehearsals don’t start until after swim season is over, because swim practice and meets are a major immovable summer time block. I started looking for camps or sitters or whatever else childcare options and seeing if we could cover things since I had NO camps lined up for the two little kids for those weeks. Well, the plan had been for the kids to be at Camp Mom.

I thought about if I really wanted this job. Truth, the show itself is not on my bucket list – I’ve done this opera four times already and it’s actually one of my least favorite operas to work on. Also, I had been looking forward to a nice leisurely summer at home with the two little kids – pool time and nature time and MarioKart and books and eating ice cream and peaches and learning to swim and ride bikes. Though I was sad not to be working, I was leaning into SUMMER with my kids. Ultimately, though, financially it’s hard to turn down five weeks of work. I think there will still be pockets of time to do summer and life things, though I don’t think we’ll get to go camping this summer and that makes me a little sad. I do feel a little guilt that the kids won’t get as summery a summer as I had planned, but that’s okay. We’ll still do what we can. People work all summer all the time and still find ways to lean into it. Heck, once you grow up and summer break isn’t a thing, is summer as summer-y?

So we figured out summer childcare – it’s not ideal, but it will do. This kids will have lots of time lazing about with no plans. I told the opera company that I could take the job and we are now just starting the first week of rehearsal. Like I said, it’s not my favorite opera, but the director is a delight to work with, and the rest of the stage managers are great – old friends or about to become old friends. The rehearsal schedule is mostly afternoons and evenings, so I think I’ll still have time to take the kids to the pool in the morning before I got to work. And, let’s be honest, I really do enjoy being in the rehearsal room – watching people create stories and characters and music.

-Leaving you with a bit of poetry that perfectly captured something I never could express, as poetry does. From “The Happiest Day” by Linda Pastan:

I didn’t even guess that I was happy.
The small irritations that are like salt
on melon were what I dwelt on,
though in truth they simply
made the fruit taste sweeter.

Read the full poem here.

Grateful For:
-The family being together again. Between South Africa and Taiwan Camp, the family hasn’t been together for 14 days. I think this is the longest that our family unit has been apart. It makes me wonder if the kids will ever go to sleepaway camp and leave the Husband and I at home kid-free for any amount of time during the summer. The 13 year old has no interest – it would probably have to be a special theatre or basketball camp for her to go at this point.

-That the summer storm stopped in time for swim practice. I was home alone with the kids one night – the Husband had gone to a baseball game – and it looked like swim was going to be cancelled because of thunder, but the weather cleared up in time for the last half of swim practice to happen.

-Peaches. I missed out on the Peach Truck this year, but I still managed to find a farmstands with sweet sweet peaches on the way home from camp drop off one day.

-Watermelon. Cold and juicy.

-Swim Team and the people who run our swim team. It is so so so much work to run the swim team. Last week’s swim meet was over four hours long (we often host a neighboring pool since their pool is not big enough to host meets, so it makes our meets really long since it’s three teams competing, not just two.) And yes, there were times when it just felt interminable. But at one point, in the third hour, I took a moment to be grateful for everything around me – the parent volunteers; the kids trying their best and being supportive of their team mates and of their competitors; our amazing Team Rep; the enthusiastic coaches; the night sky so clear; the beauty of the pool after the sun has gone down, lit only by pool lights. And I was really grateful that we had this opportunity to be be part of this community and to be in this moment.

-GPS. OMG – the traffic on the way to camp and work has been soul sucking. When I first started taking the kids to camp/commuting to this job, it was 2021. A lot of people were working from home and the commute was a breeze. It is no longer a breeze. The first day of camp, was a breeze – we were there in 20 minutes. The second day, I made the mistake of not using Google Maps (my preferred traffic/map app) to get to camp – I often don’t use Google Maps if I know where I’m going. wump wump. There was a huge slowdown on the beltway and we were 15 minutes late to camp. Another day, a tractor trailer overturned on the Beltway at 4am, and at 8:30am it was still not clear – that day we were half an hour late to camp. (side note, the tractor trailer was carrying mushrooms, which spilled all over the beltway. This little bit of info tickles me – I wonder if there are going to be new mushroom species alongside the Beltway now?). Every day it’s always something. I haven’t been able to take the same way to camp two days in a row all week. I now know to check the map an hour before we leave for camp. BUT… I am grateful for GPS/GoogleMaps and that it gets me where I need to go, even if it means driving through some unknown neighborhoods.

-That my blog/website is up and working again.

Looking Forward To:
– Sitting in our new furniture! The chairs that we impulsively bought over Memorial Day Weekend arrived. I’m especially looking forward to reading in the grey chair – the tag literally said “Cuddle Chair”. To be honest, we didn’t quite know where we would put it when we bought it. The floral chair had always been destined for the sunroom. The grey chair was a last minute purchase – it was on clearance and it were just so cozy in the store that we knew it would be perfect for curling up and reading, either alone or with the kids. It’s gone in the living room and I kind of love it there.


-Starting rehearsals. Looking forward to working with familiar colleagues, and meeting new people.

-The end of Summer Swim Season. I love swim season – see above – but it does take up a huge chunk of time and energy in the summer. I’m looking forward to when it is over and we can go back to going to the pool at our own pace and spending some evenings at home watching New Girl. (Okay, given that I just took a job that has me gone most evenings, we might not be having as many New Girl nights as I originally planned.)

-Reading this book:

It’s set in the area of Los Angeles County that I grew up in, and a lot of it feels so familiar. Plus the writing and the story are so good. Trans violin prodigy running away from home! Deals with the devil! Potters! Alien refugees disguised as Vietnamese donut shop owners! You wouldn’t think all the narrative threads work together, but they do.

-Listening to this book on my commute:

This one doens’t feels as effortless as other Lily Chu books I’ve read/listened to, but I’m still enjoying it. Plus Phillipa Soo and John Cho narrate, were definitely a draw.

If anyone has other engaging things for me to listen to on my commute, I’d love suggestions! (Yesterday it took TWO HOURS for me to get from home, drop the 5 year old at camp, and arrive at work. I was an hour late for rehearsal. On the other hand, I got through a fifth of this book.)

What We Ate so far in July (our last weeks of pool dinner!)
Sunday: Wraps and smoothies at the pool.

Monday: Dumplings and endemame at the pool

Tuesday: Quinoa Taco Salad and Misir Wot (Ethiopian red lentils). This was meant to be eaten at the pool, but this was the night it rained, so we at at home. Vegan.

Wednesday: Green frittata and Pillsbury crescent rolls. We had some chard to eat up, but chard is a hard sell for the kids if they can identify it. So we threw it into the blender with the eggs and had green egg frittata. And the kids ate it!

Thursday: Sausage Rolls at the pool. Okay, this was kind of a fail, even though I liked it. Inspired by our time in England, I made sausage rolls – I thought it would make a perfect pool dinner with being portable and filling. Only, I added broccoli to try to get some vegetables in. Everyone said the broccoli was overpowering. Oh well, more for me. Maybe next time I just have the broccoli on the side. (The method is pretty easy – steam broccoli, combine it with raw sausage, fennel seeds, thyme, cheese. Lay out pastry dough (store bought), put sausage/broccoli/cheese filling in a line down the middle. Fold over dough to make sausage roll. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.)

Friday: Pizza and Glee

Saturday: Take out from our favorite Burmese restaurant. We ordered a lot of food and ate it as leftovers for days. Also watched You’ve Got Mail. I’ve never seen this movie before, can you believe? It was one of my goals this year to watch this movie. What a delightful and charming movie – why don’t they make rom coms like this anymore? Smart, bright, hopeful, and romantic. Like truly romantic. Not just “Let’s shag.” I mean Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan don’t even kiss until the very end of the movie! It managed to be formulaic and surprising all at the same time. And I’ve even seen the musical that it is sort of based on, so I knew what was going to happen.

Sunday: Leftover Burmese food.

Monday: Fried rice (made from the rice that came with the Burmese food) and dumplings. Eaten at home, swim practice was cancelled because of weather.

Tuesday: Vegan Pesto Pasta Salad and smoothies at the pool, for swim meet. (I actually went out for Happy Hour with friends and had a BLT.)

Wednesday: Fried Chicken (from Fryer’s Roadside) and steamed green beans. The kids have been itching for fried chicken, but I don’t love frying chicken at home – the grease is messy. So we had carry out and I supplemented with green beans from home.

Thursday: Sesame noodles at the pool. I should make sesame noodles more – the kids love it, and it’s easy to make ahead of time. I made the dressing in the morning and then just boiled noodles and added the cucumbers and shredded chicken once I was home from camp pick up.

Friday: Swim Team Spaghetti potluck. We brought watermelon. Tis the season.

Saturday: Pizza (carry out) and Pirates of the Caribbean 2. This movie was veeeeery long and featured a lot of creatures with very lumpy skin and dirt-caked skin, and greasy hair. I was entertained, but I can’t say that I enjoyed it much.

Sunday: Gnocchi with either pesto or red sauce. Steamed green beans to go with.

Hope you are having a lovely week of both salt and sweetness!
How is your July going? What do you remember about your college dining hall? What about your college dorm? What’s do you think is the most romantic movie you’ve seen? Do you use GPS all the time, even when you know where you are going?

Weekly Recap + what we ate: school’s out, packing, pre-trip frenzy

Hello from South Africa! I’ve had such an amazing time so far, and look forward to writing trip recaps. Here is a preview of the adventures so far: (Okay, truth, I started this post last week, but then the tour got busy, and I am now at the tail end of our trip… so think of this post as a kind of Time Machine…. Taking you all way back to life before the trip.)

And in the mean time, some other things that have been going on before we left…

The school year finished up, limping to the end. The 13 year old did not go to school the two half days, and the middle kid were a little salty about having to go. But when he got off the bus the first days, he stay excitedly, “I’m so glad I went to school! We watched cartoons all day!”

Last week was mostly taken up by packing, and logistics for the trip and for being away. And the pool.

Sunday morning we had a swim meet. We had to be at the pool by 8:15am and the meet ran until 12:45pm – it was a long long time to be in the hot hot sun. Luckily I wasn’t assigned a job this meet so I could sit in the shade for most of the meet. The 13 year old swam a great meet – she finished 2nd in the IM and 1st in the butterfly. She also swam the freestyle, breaststroke and IM relay. There aren’t a lot of girl in her age group this year on her team, so she ends up swimming a lot during meets. Afterwards we went to get boba to celebrate then we went to run some last minute errands for our trip.

Packing:
I had aspirations of packing carry on only, but the realities of going to a colder climate made that difficult for me. Cold weather clothes just take up so much more room than warm weather clothes. I also ended up putting all of the 13 year old’s clothes in my bag so that she could travel light. Anyhow, because I’m obsessed with other people’s packing lists, here’s what I ended up bringing from clothes:

3 pairs of pants – Navy Uniqlo Airism joggers, Freen Uniqlo sweatpants joggers, and grey Duluth Trading Noga pants. (I didn’t end up bringing the Navy wide legged pants in the picture; even though I love how they are a little more polished of a pant, the reality is that wide legged pants are not great for travel, specifically for various public bathrooms.)

3 Short Sleeve shirts- Pact yellow striped, grey Uniqlo v-neck (they don’t make this shirt anymore and I’m sad – it’s the perfect for me smooth cotton, slightly boxy t-shirt), and Universal Threads loose black t-shirt.
3 long sleeves shirts – Striped Duluth shirt, wine colored Duluth wool blend hooded tunic, blue dolman sleeved shirt (not sure where this is from – I’ve had it forever)

For warm layers: Peanuts sweatshirt from Uniqlo, biege and white striped sweater from Teat and Cosset (a now defunct company that makes elegant nursing clothes – yes, it’s a nursing sweater), and purple fleece from Duluth. Also blue Wool& dress.

Other things: for cold weather – green beanie, wine colored silk/cashmere scarf, purple buff, Uniqlo puffer vest
For sleep/exercise: t-shirt, plaid sleep pants, running shorts, long sleeve running top.

Extra/back up outfit for plane; blue Duluth leggings, t-shirts, plaid Duluth flannel button up

Not pictured: swim suit, 8 pairs of underwear, 1 sports bra, 1 regular bra. 1 pair of running shoes, raincoat.

Not pictured what I wore on the plane: striped linen shirt dress, black leggings, ankle boots, with tank top (w/ built in bra). What to wear on the plane was a little bit of a conundrum because we would have a couple hours trip into London during our layover and it was 80 degrees in London and 60 degrees in Johannesburg, so I wanted to wear something that would be appropriate for both climates. (It turned out to be 70 and cloudy in London, so the outfit was actually perfect, and I wasn’t sweltering.)

other non-clothes things I packed in my checked bag: Binoculars, toiletries, plug adaptor power strip, water color set (kind of my luxury item I always pack on special trips) , travel alarm clock, luggage scale, period supplies, snacks (ramen and hot chocolate), laundry detergent sheets, an extra book, extra ziploc bags, extra caribiners

Now conceivably I could fit all that into my carry-on rolling suitcase, but I ended up also packing the 13 year old’s sweatshirt, raincoat, and fleece and empty day pack in my stuff. And I wanted to have room in case I wanted to bring back souvenirs. So the big suitcase it was. I wish I had a suitcase that was slightly smaller than out big one – there is a lot of empty space currently, and it’s not easy to get up and down stairs by myself. Oh well.

And for posterity, in my backpack which I carried on: Snacks, toothbrush, tooth paste, wipes, advil, electronics (cables, charges, iFly, power bank), journal, planner, book to read, red flashlight (for use in the dark), iPad, change of clothes (listed above), slippers (which I actually accidentally left on the plane), water bottle, travel mug.

I’ve started keeping a packing list with Google Sheets, and I just copy the previous list into a new tab for the current trip and build off of that. I thought it was useful because I copied the list from Amersterdam because that weather was more similar to South Africa than Taiwan/ Malaysia.

I’ll give a packing post-Mortem after the trip, mostly because I like to make notes for next time on what worked and what didn’t. I’ll report back afterwards on how it all shook out.

Grateful for:

-Tickets to the opera. A friend got us tickets to a production of the Marriage of Figaro and I took the 13 year old. This is one of my favorite opera but I rarely get a chance to see it since I’m often working on it. This production was directed by someone I’ve known for twenty years- she was an assistant director on my very first opera internship. And now she runs her own opera company. It was awesome to see her show.

-Patio umbrella. I ‘m trying to embrace morning patio time this summer, but our patio gets full blazing sun in the morning, so I’m very grateful for our patio umbrella.

-my mother. She’s come to hang out with the two younger kids while I’m in South Africa a with the oldest.

-the pool. Because in ninety degree weather going to the pool is blissfully refreshing

-invitation to help celebrate a friend’s birthday, and the nice people I met there. I’m always a little nervous going to parties where I don’t know anyone, but this is a dear friend and the littles like to see her, so we went out to her birthday party and it was a perfect low key gathering with people who had good stories to tell. One lady brought her dog and when we walked in the door, she said to us, “Two things you need to know about Mazy – Number One: she lies. She might act like she’s hungry but she isn’t. Number two: I don’t’t beat her so don’t fall for her sad dog eyes.” It was a perfect way to break the ice.

-Getting to go on this trip to South Africa!

Looking forward to (The SA edition)

-being in a new continent, where it is winter

-learning about South African history.

-safari and bush walk

-trips into London during our layovers

-spending time with the 13 year old

What we ate (the last week of school/week before travel edition):

Monday: Dump,inns and endamame. This has become of the favorite pool dinners

Tuesday: above mentioned birthday party – our friend had a sandwich bar. I brought mini Brie and apple quiches, that weee easy to make and really tasty. And also garlic endamame. We are eating a lot of endamame these days.

Wednesday: Fish tacos- we are out after getting haircuts and before going to the opera

Thursday: snack dinner at the pool and pasta with jarred red sauce at home for those who wer still hungry after swim practice.

Friday: pizza and Glee- the Husband made pizza.

Saturday: we went out to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant; I had ceviche

Sunday: burgers and tater tots and green beans. The Hsuband cooked

Monday: Terriyaki tofu and broccoli, brown rice on the side. This is the recipe for tofu from America’s Test Kitchen Vegan for Everyone cookbook. It is easy and very tasty.

Hope you have a good rest of you week! See you State side for some trip recaps. Tell me what “luxury” item you always pack!

Haikus for May 2025

Rainy day flowers

Summer approaches,
Bringing from hibernation
Sunshine and short sleeves.

The parents coaching
Lord of the Flies soccer teams:
Every day heroes.

Endless Ikea –
Aspirational aisles
curated with care.

Longer days begin –
with 7am sunlight
And 8pm dusk.

Dry, breezy, warm air.
This perfect summer weather
lasts only til June.

She is not too sick
To skip and sing with joy, yet…
She can’t go to school.

Sudden sheets of rain
Cacophonous and blinding
Wipes the world away.

Unrelenting rain
lifts the weight of humid air,
making mornings crisp.

Clawing our way through
Maycember activities …
Are we having fun?

Who are your every day heroes? Are you having fun right now? (It’s okay to say no.)

(bi) Weekly recap + what we ate: Life update. Five things, five categories

Lots of things going on these days. Here is a long rambling brain dump of a post, to catch up on life in my neck of the woods.

The end of the school year is in sight. Last Friday was originally supposed to be the last day of school, but the school year was extended by two half days to make up for all the snow days that we had. The 13 year old was already signed up for basketball camp this coming week, so I gave her the option of 1) going to camp after her half days of school, or 2) skipping the last two days of school and going to camp. She chose option 2. So last week, she cleaned out her locker (and her backpack, and actually her room too!), and now she is done with seventh grade.

Middle school is so funny – I feel like the first year is about getting used to not being in elementary school. Then you have 7th grade where you get into a rhythm of things. But then 8th grade you are preparing to leave – the fall of 8th grade is when students here apply/choose high schools. In our area of the county, there is a consortium of five high school, each with different specialties and programs. Every student gets into their home school, but they can apply to get into any of the other four schools as well – some require applications and some are lottery. The high schools all have open houses in October and the school choice forms need to be in by November 1st. It all sounds very stressful. The 13 year old current first choice is our home school, so this might be an easy process. But I think we’ll go to all the open houses anyway, just to be informed. I know high school is two years away, but having to go through the process of school choice in a four months makes it all seem really soon. Time. Time. Time. Flying.

Last week was the 5 year old’s graduation from pre-K. They had a cute little ceremony – children processed, songs were sung. Each child got to say what they wanted to be when they grew up. Our five year old said she wanted to be a doctor. There was balloons and cakes and good friends. She still is enrolled in day care for two more weeks, so it all felt a little anticlimactic. In fact, driving in the car a few days before the graduation, she said, rather excitedly, “I only have two more days of school left!”
“Honey,” I said, “you do know you still have to go to school after graduation, right?”
“Oh.”
I felt bad bursting her bubble.

The eight year old will go to those two half days/ make up for snow days and then he’ll be off. He’s a little salty about the fact that he still has to go to school, but oh well. Ironically, his school was cancelled last Friday because the air conditioning was broken at his school. After he graduates, we’ll have our traditional ice cream and school year recap outing.

Other things in life: An unexpected car wait. I had to take the van in for a small fix. I was originally told that it would take an hour, so I decided to wait. Friends, it took four hours. I’m glad I brought my book and my portable keyboard with me so that I had something to occupy me. Eventually, I got tired of sitting in the waiting room, despite the unlimited cheap hot chocolate. I had finished my book, written a blog post, and my phone was running out of battery. So I took myself out for a walk. The car dealership is not in a particularly picturesque part of town, but by that point in the afternoon, anything was going to be better than the waiting room. I wandered to a plaza next door. I stopped at Giant for some snacks, contemplated getting a hair cut (but the next appointment was in an hour and I really hoped I would be on my way by then.) And then I discovered a board game store. I wandered in and browsed their selection of games and after a while, I asked the guy behind the counter for recommendations for a game I could play with my kids, ages 13- 5, one of whom couldn’t read yet, and without lots of tiny pieces. I came away with two games:

We played the Happy Salmon game a few days later, and let me tell you, if you are looking for a gentle quiet game, this is not it. It is a loud, hilariously raucous, energetic, fast paced game. We laughed so very hard. Definitely a welcome addition to our game collection.

I haven’t opened Dixit yet, but it looks beautiful too.

All in all, it was irksome to be stuck at the car dealership, but I think I made the best of the time.

But speaking of which – I did go back a week later to that hair place that I had seen and finally got a hair cut:

Just in time for summer heat, back to having short hair!

Contra-dancing – We went contra dancing as a family last week. That was lots of fun. The band was super hot. The kids all danced. The two littles like to dance as one person, which sometimes makes it confusing, but everyone was super forgiving and helped push them in the direction they needed to go. A super sweet thing – the three kids waltzed together at the end of the dance. I love how for the last waltz, this band will come down off the stage and play from the middle of the dance floor. It’s all kind of magical.

Two new culinary adventures: Chocolate orange cake. It was really pretty. I made two because we had the ingredients for two. I thought I would give one away, but I didn’t. We just ate both cakes ourselves. Is there anything more lovely than having a cake on the counter?

Tanghulu – candy coated fruit, very popular in the Taiwanese night markets. The 13 year old has wanted to try to make this ever since she tried it in Taiwan. Basically it involves melting sugar with water and cooking it down until it is “hard crack” temperature – meaning the sugar/water hardens when cooled. The process sounds simple, but getting the timing right is kind of tricky. Still, we were pretty successful for our first attempt:

A Day Playing hooky – I had a day where I didn’t have to be into work, so I met up with a friend and we ran errands, picked up Chipotle and the went back to her house and watched Bridgerton. We don’t have Netflix, so I’ve never seen Bridgerton. I do like the books – well except the last two books, I thought those were not as good as the first six books – so I’ve been so curious about the tv series. We watched two episodes, ate popcorn and had a lovely mid-week relaxing day.

This past weekend was Father’s Day. It wasn’t the most exciting of Father’s Day. I feel kind of bad about that – the 13 year old had a swim meet on Sunday, so we were out of the house by 7:45 am to make it to the meet. (Next week’s meet is 30 minutes away, so we’ll have to be up and out of the house even earlier than that… I’m not looking forward to that one…) The Husband took the 5 year old to Agility Class and then ran errands with the kids. I came home, we had lunch and then I took the 13 year old to basketball workout. We did spend the evening with friends who grilled for us, but then I had to leave to take a meeting for union stuff. It wasn’t a very celebratory Father’s Day, I’m afraid. I’ll have to do better next time.

Five things that are currently working in life:

Patio Time – Summer porch time is a beautiful concept. Only I don’t have a porch. But I do have a back patio, so I’ve been having a bit of summer patio time in the mornings. Just 15 minutes of me with my book and a beverage in the morning, enjoying the air and sunlight. Our patio is east facing, so it has started to get hot. Thank goodness for our patio umbrella.

Playaways – Playaways are little tablets you can check out from the library that are pre-loaded with educational games. A few weeks ago, I borrowed a few from the library for the 8 and 5 year olds. Promising them Playaway time has been a great bribe/ incentive with them, since they generally don’t get a lot of tablet time. I like that the Playaways aren’t connected to the internet so I don’t have to worry about my kids going online and ordering $4000 worth of dum dums or anything like that. Currently in the morning, if they get all their stuff done, they can have Playaway time, and it’s been working pretty well.

Daily yoga– I’ve been able to doing at least 10 minutes of yoga every day this year so far, except for one day when we were travelling back from Malaysia. What’s been working for me to do this:
1) Charlie Follows yoga videos – I like that her videos are anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 minutes so I can choose what fits into my day. I like that there is no intention setting or chanting or too much cheerleading going on – just straight forward yoga routines with options to make it easier or more challenging, without judgement. I like that there is no music. The other yoga resources I like to use for practices are Down Dog Yoga (I also like that it’s no frills), Rise and Shine Yoga Flows by MoveWith on Audible (I like that it’s an audio only option), and Sara Beth Yoga (has lots of ten minute videos, but she is a little affirmation heavy for my tastes, TBH).
2) I usually do the yoga in the morning. I feel like it’s less mental energy just to know that I’ll do it in the morning.
3) if I don’t get to it in the morning, I write “YOGA” on my hand to remind me to find another time to do it. Usually I will do an evening routine before going to bed. Once in a while, if it’s quiet at work, I will roll out a mat in my office and do 10 minutes there.

Palm pilot.

Swim bags for each kid – Up til now, I’ve always hauled all the stuff to the pool for me and the two younger kids. The 13 year old has always carried her own stuff. This summer, I got each child their own swim bag. No more having to carry my stuff, the little kids’ stuff, and dinner to the pool myself. No more having to be responsible for goggles and towels and kickboards. It’s the kids’ responsibility to make sure their bags are properly packed. Not to say I don’t still remind them constantly. Wow going to the pool feels much lighter now.

Half a Duvet. The Husband sleeps hot. I like to sleep bundled and buried under loads of covers: this had led to a bit of a duvet conflict. We’ve been looking into getting separate duvets- when we were in Amsterdam two years ago, we noticed that all the duvets were individual sized, even on the bigger beds. I thought this might be a good solution to the duvet conflict so I’ve been trying to find “European Twin” duvets. But then the other day, I had an inspiration. Just fold the existing duvet in half! Brilliant. The Husband doesn’t have to wrestle with the duvet and I get double thickness of duvet to snuggle into!

Five consuming things (that I’m consuming or that are consuming me):

–Dill Pickle Hot Cheetos – OMG three things I love: Cheetos, dill pickle flavoured things, and spicy things. I may have polished off one bag in one sitting. I did have some help. And then I went to the store and bought two more bags. I feel a low level panic that this is a one time food item. That thought makes me sad.

–Root Beer Float Cookies – I found these at Trader Joe’s. They are vanilla creme sandwich cookie bits, covered in pop rocks and root beer flavored coating. These also might have been eaten in a single sitting:

I only have a picture of the empty bag because they were eaten so quickly

–Gilded Age, Season Two – Just started the second season of Gilded Age and devoured the first few episodes – what a deliciously soap opera of a show.

–Swim season. We’re at the pool three hours a day, four or five days a week. The little kids do preteam at 5:00pm-5:30pm, and the oldest helps out on preteam. Then the oldest’s swim practice is from 6:15p-7:30pm. So we eat dinner at the pool, sometimes shower at the pool, then go home and go to bed. I spend a lot of time thinking about what we are going to eat, what time to pick up kids, when they are going to change … the logistics is consuming. At least we are lucky that we have evening practice and not morning practice as a lot of other pools do. In fact I’m writing some of this post while waiting for swim meet to start.

– South Africa – Preparing for the trip to South Africa is consuming me too. Packing! It is winter in South Africa, but here in Dc it’s summer and 90 degrees, which makes it very difficult to think about what 50 degree weather Diane will want to wear. Also binoculars- what kind to get that are compact but also not the most expensive? My time has been taken up by waaaay too much googling. I’ve been listening to podcasts about travel and packing tips. This trip has definitely been consuming me mentally.

Speaking of which…

Five things I’m stressing about for my trip:

Bras – I have somehow convinced myself that I need a new bra for the trip because I probably won’t have access to laundry. But you know, at home I wear the same bra all week and maybe, maybe wash it every other week. (sorry, probably TMI there…) So why, on the eve of a trip, have I decided that while on vacation I’m going to take to washing my bras more than I normally would?? I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect travel bra – thinking of bras for travel has taken up a lot more of my brain space that I would like to admit. Maybe the perfect bra for “international flight/ sightseeing” thing doesn’t exist. I don’t have any perfect bras – maybe I’m using this as an excuse to buy more?

Shoes – How many shoes do I need to pack? Do want to pack my ankle boots? Normally, I would wear my ankle boots on the plane because they are the heaviest item, but we will have a layover excursion in London where it will be hot, so wearing the ankle boots isn’t that appealing. Currently I have my slip on sneakers and my water resistant wool runners. Are those too similar? Should I ditch one and pack the ankle boots? Also I’m trying to think of a not Crocs option for a comfy shoe to wear while hanging out at the hotel or the pool (if there is a pool – I’m not sure on that one.) I don’t want to bring my Crocs because they are too bulky, and I don’t have a good pair of sandals. So what is the slim Croc alternative?

eSim card – When we were in Asia, I got an eSim for my phone rather than getting the daily international plan that AT&T offered. The eSim was something like $30 for two weeks while the international plan was $12/day. I could make calls and texts via Whatsapp, and use data when I had to look something up, and that seemed to be all I needed. Anyhow, I need to look into whether I should do the same thing for South Africa. The bummer thing, though, is that the 13 year old’s phone is a Bark Phone and I can’t put an eSim on it, I don’t think. So she’ll just have to use wifi when she can, I guess? And I’ll try not to lose her.

Hotel housing – I didn’t realize that I had to put in a special request for the 13 year old and I to room together. I guess I had kind of assumed that they would put family members together. But that isn’t the default and right now we are not assigned to share a room. Wump wump. I need to call the tour company and see if anything can be done. If not, I’m sure we’ll survive and make new friends.

Currency – I want to get some Rand before the trip, but I’m not sure how to go about this. Also I’m kind of obsessed with thinking about if I need a money belt to carry all that money around?

And it’s more than five, but so many other things stressing me out– I need to find the travel chargers, I have to remember to pay for activities and the cleaners because those payments will be due before I get back, I have to photocopy my and the 13 year old’s IDs to our trip leader, I have to download the tour company app… So many little things that need to be done. I just have to work my way down the list one thing at a time…

Five things I’m Grateful for:

-I got my period this week and I won’t have to deal with that while in South Africa. I won’t say there’s zero percent chance that I’ll have to deal with my period – I’ll still bring supplies – but there’s a pretty good chance that I won’t have to try to figure out how to buy period products in a foreign country. (Though I have to say the pads we found in Taiwan were AMAZING!).

-vanilla ice cream topped with peanut butter. This is a delicious way to use up the last dregs of peanut butter in the container – drop a few scoops of vanilla ice cream in the jar and eat.

-Parents who coach youth sports and parents who organize swim meets. The 8 year old had his last soccer game, and I have to say his coach deserves HUGE kudos. It can’t be easy to wrangle ten 8-9 year old boys, but he has such patience with them. And with other parents. And on that note – organizing a swim meet is a lot of work, and the parents at our pool do it once a week for six weeks during the summer. I’m so grateful for the time and effort they give so my kids can have a great experience.

-Bluetooth in the car. My last car did not have Bluetooth so I listened to the radio a lot. I still love the radio, but I also love getting in the car and being able to finish my audiobook.

-These little plastic cups. Last winter, our tour guide in Taiwan, a lovely gentleman named Hoya, gave use these plastic cups with lids as tour swag – they all have his contact information on them. When we first got them, I groaned inwardly about having to bring more plastic home, but I was wrong. I’ve gotten so much use out of these little cups. These days, I use them to bring smoothies to the pool with us. I love that the lids fit tightly and the little loop makes them easy to carry.

-Bonus gratitude – I’m grateful that the 13 year old now takes the initiative to write thank you notes to her teacher on her own. I caught her writing these during a quiet moment at the swim meet:

5 Things I’m Looking forward to:
-Trip to Longwood Gardens – I think we are going to try to squeeze in a trip before the 13 year old and I leave for South Africa. It’s always so pretty there in the summer. (And in the fall. And in the winter. And in the Spring…)

-Eating more watermelon. It’s watermelon season!

-Half days this week. I was originally going to work a gig next week, but due to a miscommunication, the company went in another direction in terms of staffing. Which is fine with me. Despite needing the income, the thought of the job was giving me some minor anxiety because I’d never worked for the company before and it was an international summit, and I don’t like doing new things. (There is a reason I’ve been working for the same opera company for twenty years.) Anyhow, the last two days of school are next week and they are half days. I’m looking forward to having a few hours of mornings free to be able to run errands and then half days to spend with the kids.

-South Africa! South Africa! South Africa! Counting down the days!

-Reading this book:

It’s about two elderly women in Cape Town, one Black and one white who are bitterly feuding neighbors. I picked up a paperback copy from Barnes and Nobles this week -I like having a physical book to read on the plane. Also – thank you to folks who gave recommendations for books for my trip! I’m loaded up my Libby with books to read once I finish the Woman Next Door.

What we ate : Two weeks worth of meals here – most of it pool dinners.

Monday: Braised White Bean with Greens and Parmesan from NY Times Cooking- Something fast, and I needed up use up some chard in the fridge. This was essentially a soup. It was tasty.

Tuesday: Quesadillas – black bean and corn.

Wednesday: Dumplings (eaten at the pool – I pan fry them and put them in a thermos.) Cut up veggies and fruit, and pop corn.

Thursday: Snack dinner – sausage (in a bun), edamame, cucumbers, carrots, red peppers, popcorn, fruit smoothies. Dinner at the pool.

Friday: Pizza (the Husband made it) and Glee. We usually watch an hour of a tv show on Friday nights during swim season because we get home from the pool too late for a full movie. I do also pack a lot of snacks for the pool so the kids don’t get hungry before we get home.

Saturday: Chinese Takeout and Invictus – this 2009 movie tells the story about how Nelson Mandela used rugby to help the people in post-Apartheid South Africa find common ground. Quiet and elegant and all the expected sentimentality of a good sports movie. I really liked it. It was also an interesting movie to watch during our current political climate. I had wanted to watch it in anticipation of our trip.

Sunday: leftovers. We had a lot of leftover Chinese food, so I reheated that for dinner.

Monday: “Baked” Ziti from Dinner Illustrated. This is a genius recipe because the pasta is cooked right in the sauce, saving a step. I was also really excited because this recipe allowed me to use up some kale that was languishing.

Tuesday: Dumplings and edamame and smoothies. Eaten at the pool.

Wednesday: Pesto Pasta Salad – tortellini, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, cannellini beans. Not the meal I had planned, but a pretty simple one to throw together with stuff from our pantry. Eaten at the pool before swim meet.

Thursday: Japanese style Tuna Noodle Salad from NY Times Cooking. This was a light noodle salad. I didn’t love the tuna – I probably would make this with tofu or chicken. But the dressing was tasty. Eaten at home – we didn’t make it to the pre-team practice this day because of preschool graduation.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Glee.

Saturday: Dinner out to celebrate graduation and Father’s Day. The family had burgers. I had the butter chicken.

Sunday: Grilling at our friend’s house. It was the usual burgers, brats, and dogs along with the smoked pork that our friend likes to make. I might have also eaten way to many chips. My friend introduced me to the idea of mixing sour cream (or Greek yogurt) into the salsa for a creamy dip.

Oh my, well that’s a lot of ink spilled for one post, but that’s life lately. Hope you have a lovely week ahead. I’ll be finalizing details for my trip and helping a friend celebrate her birthday. What are you up to this week?
Anything currently working really well for you in life? Have you ever played Happy Salmon or Dixit? What’s your favorite dip to eat with chips? Favorite ice cream topping? What things are you consuming lately? What is consuming you?

Books Read, May 2025 + recommend me a book!

Not a book, but book related thought lately – I went to see the opera Porgy and Bess with my 13 year old a few weeks ago. I had last seen this show ten years ago and I found I had a very different reaction to it this time around. (Spoiler alert…) Porgy and Bess tells the story of a Black community living in Catfish Row in South Carolina. Porgy, a disabled begger is in love with Bess, taking her in when her violent murdering boyfriend flees from the law. At the end of the opera, Bess takes off for New York with her drug dealer. When Porgy finds out, he decides to go after her. Curtain. End of opera.

The first time I saw the opera, when the curtain came down at the end, I thought, “wait, that’s it?!?!”. I found the ending really unsatisfactory. I wanted Porgy to find Bess and have a happy ending. Or him to die on the way to NY, or Bess to die… something that felt like an ending, not a beginning. But the opera doesn’t tell you what happens to Porgy after he leaves Catfish Row. We don’t even know if he makes it to New York.

Watching the opera ten years later, though, this ending did not bother me as much. Maybe because I already knew what was going to happen? But maybe also because I’m ten years older and my expectations of narratives and story arcs have changed over the years. I was thinking about this because the 13 year old’s reaction to the ending was the same as my reaction ten years ago. She wanted to know what happened to Porgy. (She also had some choice words for Bess, saying she didn’t deserve him.) I read Katherine Graham’s memoirs in my twenties, and when I got to the part where she got married, I realized that we were only about 1/3 of the way through the book – there was still another four hundred pages to go. I remember that being kind of a narrative-challenging light bulb moment for me, this realization that there is a lot of life ahead of a person after marriage and that the narratives I had come to expect weren’t the only narratives out there, fiction or non-fiction.

I wouldn’t want to read a romance novel that doesn’t end with a happily ever after, but for other fiction, I think I’m okay with inconclusive endings. I think I can read a book where the real story is in the journey and not the destination. I still do like a book where the ending is tied up neatly, but when the ending is inconclusive, I don’t find it as unsatisfying as I used to. I no longer think it’s the author’s job to fill in all the blanks for me. I can think and speculate about what there’s character’s lives look like after “The End”. I felt like this about Clear. Lisa noted that the ending seemed abrupt to her, and I agree – I do wish that I knew what happened to the three main characters. But I also loved the journey they all went on before they end of the book, and I realized that was the story that the author wanted to tell. It might not be about where a character ends up geographically, but rather where they end up internally.

Anyhow – what about you? Do you like books with endings that feel final? Or do books with nebulous endings appeal to you too?

On to books read last month. I read more books that I usually do, a lot of them on audio since I was commuting a lot. Nothing outstandingly amazing, but each very engrossing in their own ways…

Master Slave Husband Wife: An Epic Journey from Slavery to Freedom by Ilyon Woo – This non-fiction book tells the story of Ellen and William Craft, who escape from slavery by boldly pretending that Ellen was a sickly white man and William was her servant. They board a train in Georgia and travel north to Boston. The escape spans about half the book, and the rest of the book tells about how the flee to England (via Nova Scotia!) and become famous speakers against slavery. The Crafts’ story is so amazing and this book is filled with many historical details, giving readers a descriptive sense of America at the time. One thing that really made me think – I knew that very few slaves could read or write, but when it is put in context of pretending to be a white gentleman, it is amazing to me that the Crafts managed to pull off their escape. Think about all the little things you have to read or write when travelling – schedules, tickets, hotel ledgers, menus. When the Crafts arrive in Boston and one of their first requests was to learn to read – that was such an emotional moment for me:

“Ellen had come of age in a house where education was prized, but denied to her-where she had only been able to stare at the alphabet in secret. Here was a new beginning, evidenced in the tentative series of loops and lines that she formed in her own hand-spectral, fleeting traces that she drew, erased, and drew, again, to spell out her name, Ellen.”

― Ilyon Woo, Master Slave Husband Wife, p. 137

This is a gripping and fascinating non-fiction read, if you are looking for narrative non-fiction – well written and detailed.

Stage Kiss by Amelia Jones – This romance novel tells the story of two actors performing as Elizabeth and Darcy in a touring production of a Pride and Prejudice musical. And the tour is stopping in DC. So many things in that plot summary are my catnip – Jane Austen retelling! Theatre! Set in DC! In truth, this book wasn’t the best romance novel I’d ever read – the attempts to parallel P&P are a bit of a stretch at times – but I had a fun time reading about my world in a romance novel – I could picture the places they were and the walks they took. I don’t know that it’s a super accurate depiction of my work life, but who cares? Okay, the one part that made my jaw drop, though, was when the two main characters had sex in the dressing room while in costume! I’m pretty sure dressing room sex happens all the time, but IN COSTUME!!!!?!?!?! I mean we don’t even let people sit on the ground or eat in costume. Having sex in costume is just irresponsible.

The Switch by Beth O’Leary narrated by Alison Steadman and Daisy Edgar-Jones – Okay, fun P&P link here – Allison Steadhm played Mrs. Bennet in the iconic (and to my mind the best) BBC P&P adaptation. The Switch tells the story of Leena and her grandmother Eileen who are both in a bit of a rut, so they switch homes for two months; Leena takes her grandmother’s house in rural Yorkshire and Elieen will take Leena’s flat in London. I was looking for a sweet fun audiobook, and having enjoyed O’Leary’s Flatshare, I picked this one up, liking that the premise featured an older protagonist. The plotting is not as tight and flowing as Flatshare, but I still really liked this book and seeing how Leena and Eileen’s journey unfolded. I particularly liked Eileen’s attempts at dating and friendship as a senior citizen – Eileen is a quietly bad ass character.

Why We Make Mistakes by Joseph T. Hallinan, read by Marc Cashman – This book was recommended to me by a co-worker and I read it because I had been thinking a lot about choices I was making that didn’t always seem to be the right ones. Journalist Hallinan explores the reasons behind mistakes and missteps and human error. This book read like a compilation of scientific research over the years about how human behavior is fallible. There were lots of interesting tidbits. As an overthinker, the part that really stuck with me was when Hallinan talked about how statistically, having more information does not necessarily make for more correct choices. So when I dither on making a decision because I feel like I need more information, that’s really my own reluctance to commit, not necessarily because I truly need more information. There was also an interesting discussion about how amateurs sometimes can catch mistakes that experts miss because they are looking at something with unbiased eyes. Often experts expect something to be a certain way, so they don’t read information carefully, glossing over details that they perceive as correct. Lot of interesting things to ponder, but to be honest, I feel like this book could also have been just as useful if it had been a podcast or magazine article as well.

Mad About You by Mhairi McFarlane – This book was my 13 year old’s suggestion. It’s one of those books that is marketed as a romance, but really the romance aspect is secondary to the main character figuring out their life. Wedding photographer Harriet calls off her wedding to a perfect on paper man and moves in with Cal Clark who is also reeling from a broken engagement. Cal is a conveniently nice and sweet guy, but he’s the least interesting part of the book – he’s kind of a narrative box checker. The meat of this novel is about how Harriet, with the help of her friends, learns to free herself from the trauma of past relationships and help others do the same. The best parts of the book, I thought, were those friendships, and also I admit, I did love the details of her job as a wedding photographer. When I asked the 13 year old what she liked about this book, she said she liked that the romance wasn’t the main point, but that a lot of the book was about Harriet figuring things out for herself. I thought that was a pretty cool observation on her part.

A Tempest of Desire by Lorraine Heath, read by Will Watt – This romance novel tells the story of Marlowe, a famous courtesan (though really, she’s 22 years old and has only had one lover in her life, so I felt like courtesan is kind of a misnomer). Marlowe flies hot air balloons as a hobby, and during one stormy flight, she crash lands on the island of Viscount Langdon. They shelter together until the storm passes and then have to navigate their mutual attraction once they return to London society. I think there were a lot of great character details – Marlow’s impoverished childhood, Langdon suffering from an affliction as a result of a train accident – all of it well researched and detailed. The plot itself is pretty slight, and the ending rather abrupt, but I still enjoyed it. Truth, though, the appeal of this book was 95% Will Watt’s narration. He just has the kind of voice that you can sink into and he imbues every word with a panoply of emotion and intent. This is one of those romance novels that are part of a huge series, and every character that seemed interesting probably has their own book.

The Crucible by Arthur Miler – LA Theatre Works production – This wasn’t strictly a book, but an audio version (borrowed via Libby) of the famous play. I had, shockingly, never read the play; it wasn’t required reading in high school. Early this year, a theatre friend of mine was singing the praises of the play John Procter is the Villain, now on Broadway, and I confessed:

Since the opera version is on the horizon for me, I thought it a good a time as any to finally discover Miller’s iconic work. It’s all kinds of messed up, isn’t it? I just felt icky at the end. Which I guess is kind of the point. I love LATW production of plays – I should listen to more of them.

On my Proverbial Night Stand (I realize that a lot of these books were in progress last month too…)
Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela – I’ve been reading 15-20 pages of this book every day because I am detirmined to finish it before out trip to South Africa. It’s really gripping and inspiring.

Three Bags Full by Leonie Swan – Sheep solve mysteries I’m having a really hard time concentrating on this book, to be honest. But when I do managed to have a big chunk of time to give this book, I love it.

The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio, read by the author – I saw this book in an interview with Jose Andres as the book he most wished he could require the President to read. It tells about how illegal immigrants are inextricably woven into the fabric of our lives in America. The narration is a little dry, but the stories open my eyes and break my heart.

On another note….

Anyone want to recommend a book to read during my trip to South Africa? Things that check boxes for a vacation read for me:

  • Gripping, immersive plot. (I like good writing and character driven books too, but for travel I definitely want a page turner)
  • Average length – not too long (don’t want to pack a huge tome), not too short (or else I’ll finish it too soon.)
  • Characters who are smart and trying to do the right thing, whatever that means to them.
  • I like most fiction genres. Memoir or narrative non fiction also would be of interest. Fantasy or Sci-fi if there isn’t too much world building.
  • Bonus points if it’s set in South Africa or London, written by an underrepresented demographic, has a bit (or a lot) of romance, or looks at a kind of niche subject/location/historical period.
  • Books I’ve read in the past that I would consider perfect for vacation: The House on the Cerulean Sea, Where’d You Go Bernadette?, Agatha Christie novels, The Great Believers, Hunger Games Trilogy, Ministry of Time, Fleishman is in Trouble, Harlem Shuffle, The Monsters We Defy, Nothing to See Here.

Things I don’t care for:
-Unreliable narrators
-Suicide, sexual assault, or graphic violence

If you have any thoughts, I’m all ears!

Weekly recap + what we ate: Good bye, May. Hello, June!

Night at the Opera!

Last week was a very Maycember week. The 13 year old’s swim team practice started, though it was really cold and rainy and she ended up only going to one practice. I had an unusually full week of work as the opera season wound down – I worked on a workshop of a piece we’re doing next Spring; we’re commissioning a new book and new arrangements. The workshop was a very fly by the seat of my pants affair – the first day I climbed the equivilent of 20 flights of stairs as I ran around making things were happening that needed ot happen – in the end, though, it was fun to see as new show all come together. We also had feedback and post mortem sessions at work where we talked about how things went on the last show. I really appreciate how everyone spoke frankly and with open minds. I had lunch with my dad one day, which was nice because my parents often want to come help out when the Husband has to essentially solo parent during my busy times at work so when they are here, I don’t get much one on one time with them because I’m always at work. I’m glad my dad and I made time to have lunch.

Friday night was the piano recital for both the 8 year old and the 13 year old. I had to work on Friday – we did end of season feedback sessions – and barely made it to the recital in time. This is probably the last year that the 13 year old will play in the younger kids’ recital, which means two recitals for us from here on out- one for the oldest and one for the middle kid.

Saturday was First Communion for the 8 year old. When the oldest had first communion it was during COVID, and the church was much less crowded than this time. I was not prepared for the sheer mass of humanity that filled the church on Saturday morning. Because our church has such an international congregation, the readings were done in English (the Husband did the first reading!), French, and Spanish. (I said to the Husband that we should have sent the 8 year old to French religious ed classes!). But the other fun thing was the pageant of international fashion on display – saris and dashikis and caftans in bright and bold hues. Hats and high heels. People really brought it, and I loved seeing it all.

After the service, we went home, had a quick family meeting, and then went out to lunch. I was then anticipating a lazy afternoon at home, but the weather had other issues. There was a tornado warning in our area and a whole lot of rain in a very short amount of time. Mid afternoon, my father texted that there was water in his basement unit. The husband and I grabbed armfuls of towels and headed over to my father’s house where we spent the next hour and a half cleaning up water. Not originally on my Bingo card for the day, but what can you do?

Once we got everything cleaned up, we raced to pick up pizza and went home to throw towels into the laundry and then change into nice clothes because the Husband, the 13 year old and I had tickets to the opera that night. My father was going to stay home with the two little kids for pizza and movie night. It was a mad rush to get to the theatre and we actually missed the first ten minutes or so of the show. Funny story, though, I got to the theatre and realized that I didn’t have my glasses with me; I was wearing my sunglasses! I found out later that the glasses were in the sunglass case and had fallen out of my purse during the mad water/pizza/clean up episode. Well, I guess my options were to take my sunglasses off and watch the opera in a blur – I told the Husband that after all, isn’t opera about the music? – or wear the sunglasses for the show. I chose the latter and the opera had a lovely sepia tinged quality to it.

Sunday was the usual mix of activities – Agility class and then skating. This Sunday, however, we also had the 13 year old’s voice recital right after skating. It was one of those days where everyone just piles in the van and gets to go to each other’s activities.

While the little kids skated, the 13 year old and the Husband and I had a lovely little walk on the trail next to the rink. I am becoming acutely aware that our time with the oldest is growing shorter and shorter. She was an only child for the first five years of her life and I think we all miss the days when it was just the three of us. Rose coloured glasses and all that, but there was something really sweet and fun about those times. I love our family unit of five, yet at the same time, anytime we can have moments of what we like to call “the original” family, it feels really special.

The voice recital was lovely – I like how her voice teacher frames it as just another chance to practice. We practice technique and we also practice singing in front of people. After the recital we went to an early dinner at a Mediterranean/kabob place. It was super tasty – I got the Mediterranean platter which had salad, grape leaves, falafel, hummus, and white bean salad. Then we went home and finally felt like we could rest. Well, first there were baths and Bluey and then bedtime for the kids. While I took care of that, the Husband drove my father to the airport as he was headed home. He had been staying here in Maryland since the beginning of May and it was so nice to have him in the fabric of our lives.

Anyhow, we’re now into a new month! June! That interstitial time between the end of a school year and the beginning of the next one. Reflecting on the month that was…

May highlights:
-My parent’s visit
-Lots of social plans – Happy Hours, lunches, walks, BBQs. I feel like after 6 intense weeks of work, I finally emerged and started to re=form ties with people.
-Phone chat with my friend A. who is currently living abroad.
-Closing my show.
-The end of opera season.
-Some good feedback and post-mortem sessions at work. Some new ideas for improvement that I’m looking forward to implementing.
-At work, a workshop for an opera we’re doing next season. I very rarely get to see a work at this ground level of development and it’s kind of exciting, but also a lot of work.
-Going to the opera with the Husband and 13 year old.
-Hiking with the family on Memorial Day weekend.
-A new pope! And he’s American!
-Local street fair with the kids – it was overwhelming at first, but then settled into a wonderful afternoon.
-Started to watch the new season of Pokerface with the Husband.
-Watching the 13 year old in her middle school musical.
-The 5 year old got baptized and the 8 year old had his first communion.
– Being home in the evenings.
-Piano recitals. Voice recitals.
-Reading lots of books. None of them particularly spectacular, but all very entertaining.
-The weather turning towards spring/summer
-Continuing my yoga streak – I’ve only missed one day so far this year, and it was a day I was travelling.
-Went to the dentist for my cleaning.

May lowlights:
-The ongoing situation of uncertainty and anxiety at work and in Washington DC in general. I know this is on the list every month this year so far, but I’m afraid the month it doesn’t make the list is the month that I delude myself into thinking this is a kind and inclusive way to go about things.
-Sometimes parenting is HARD. I never know what the right thing to say is. I worry about how my kids will navigate life if I don’t get things right. (I mean, I know that nothing is going to 100% be my fault, but it’s a hard message to internalize.)
-Water in the basement at my parents’ house. Ugh. What a mess. We’re going to do some work in the yard to fix the drainage.
-The Maycember frenzy. All the good and fun things I listed under “highlights” were indeed highlights. But having them all packed into one month was exhausting.

Looking Forward To, the June Edition:
-The 5 year old’s preschool moving up ceremony. She’ll be off to kindergarten.
-South Africa! It’s really happening. I’m super excited. We also just found out that we’ll have lengthy layovers in London Heathrow, so our tour company has given us permission to go into London for a few hours. It’s like having a bonus trip!
-Evenings at the pool. I’ve decided that I’m going to swim laps while the little kids are in pre-team. I haven’t been running lately; due to my own inertia, I find it hard to motivate myself to run when my day is not broken up into blocks the way it is when I am in rehearsals. So swimming while the kids are in pre- team hands me a block of time to fill.
-The end of the school year. I took a gig on the actual last day of school for the two older kids and then I’ll be in South Africa for the 5 year old’s last day of preschool. I’m trying to not be too sad about not being there for thee milestones. I have to remind myself that it’s just a blip in the life of my kids and they probably won’t remember that I wasn’t there this one year. They’ll remember if I’m never there for these things. Show up when you can, I guess.
-Wrapping up at work – archiving, tying up some loose ends.
-A bonus day with the kids – they are off school. I’m a little irked that there is.a day off of school less than two weeks before school ends, but actually, it’s Eid. The 13 year old wants to make tanghulu – a candy coated fruit that is very popular at Taiwanese night markets. Wish us luck!

Grateful for:
-That the 5 year old likes to take her medicine. I mentioned last week that the 5 year old had a swollen eye and the doctor put her on antibiotics. Maybe it was the Kit Kats we used as a bribe, but the 5 year old was so eager to take her medicine. She was constantly reminding us that it was medicine time, bringing it to us, asking how many doses she had to take. Then she developed a technique to swallow the medicine while tasting it as little as possible. It was all so easy. The two older kids would regularly refuse and then vomit up their medicine, so this was a nice change of pace.

-The rain. Yes, it did flood the basement, but it also took all the humidity out of the air, leaving some beautifully clear and bracingly crisp mornings.

-The wet dry vac. Speaking of the rain. So glad we had this to clean up the water.

-Wifi at work. The first time I ever did a new opera workshop was in 2012 and we did not have wifi at work. Furthermore, because we work for a quasi federal institution, they did not permit flash drives on work computers. There was one computer in our whole rehearsal studio that you could stick a flash drive into if you wanted to print new material from the composer. All this to say, when you’re working on a new piece and the composer or librettist says, “I have new pages. How can we print the for the cast?” – it is so much easier to do this now that the creatives can hop on wifi and email the new pages to me to print.

-Rain coat, rain boots, and umbrellas.

-My father. I’m sure he could always pull the “I’m 80 years old” card and opt out of playing with my kids or walking the mile from his house to ours every day or cleaning up the water in his basement. But he does all that and more with a cheerful disposition.

-Key lime pie. Because it is delicious.

-These sparkly sneakers. They make the 13 year old so happy and they go with everything. She wore them with her fancy recital dresses and also with her denim shorts. And she made up a song about them, singing, “I love my beautiful bedazzled shoes,” over and over again.

What we ate – I think the Husband cooked all the meals last week because I didn’t get home until past dinner time all last week.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday. Ground beef tacos

Wednesday: Tortellini and red sauce.

Thursday: Bahn mi sandwiches from our favorite Vietnamese take out place. These are seriously so delicious and simple.

Friday: Sandwiches (PB& J, Ham, Turkey) and leftovers after the piano recital. It was nearly 8pm when we got home from the piano recital, so we just threw together the easiest of easy here.

Saturday: pizza (take out) and Frozen II. It was supposed to by my father’s turn to choose the movie, and given that last time it was his movie night he chose Chariots of Fire, I would hazard a guess that someone changed their mind about what movie would be fun for an 8 year old and a 5 year old to watch.

Sunday: Mama’s kabobs – we went out to eat after the voice recital. The food was delicious.

Hope you have a lovely weekend. What do you have going on? We have a soccer game, and then the usual agility class for the 5 year old. Is there skating? I can’t remember… And I imagine we’ll go to mass in there at some point. In between things I want to sit down and write a packing list with the 13 year old for South Africa.

Do you remember life before wifi? Is there anything sparkly in your closet? How was your May? What does June look like?


Life lessons from driving a manual car

For the past year or so I’ve been driving what I like to call The Husband’s car. You might recall, I used to drive a 20 year old Subaru Legacy Wagon that was on its last legs. The Husband and I eventually decided that I should start driving my Husband’s Subaru Impreza as a way to wean me off my 20 year old vehicle.

Little Red, as we call it – the van is Big Red – is a manual car. When we first bought it in 2012, the Husband very much wanted a manual car. I had never driven a manual car before we got Little Red. I remember my parents driving them when I was growing up. And then when it came time to buy my first car we thought about getting a manual car because it was cheaper, but my mother, who was car shopping with me, couldn’t remember how to drive a stick shift, so we went with an automatic. I had a friend/ work colleague who drove me home after rehearsals a lot and she had a manual car. She said something that really stayed with me. She told me her father had insisted she and her siblings learn to drive manual cars because he didn’t ever want them to be stuck somewhere and unable to get home because they didn’t know how to drive a stick shift.

When we got Little Red, the Husband taught me how to drive. It was rough learning. I remember I used to drive around the neighborhood in the middle of the day when there was no traffic, just so I could practice.

Anyhow, I wouldn’t say I’m amazingly smooth at driving a manual car, even after 12 years. Just earlier this year I had to call the Husband to get the car out of a parking spot in front of the pre-school because I had parked on a bit of a downward hill and was too close to the car in front of me. I had tried for ten minutes to pull the car out, but I couldn’t get the right rhythm of releasing the clutch and reversing without the car rolling. (Okay, side note – I found this really annoying – the guy who owned the car in front of me at one point came out of his house and came up to look at his rear bumper. I’m guessing he was making sure I hadn’t hit his car. Then he went back into his house. I really wanted to ask him just to move his car forward so I could have a bit of extra breathing space to pull my car out.).

Despite all that, I’m really glad that I learned how to do it. One thing I like about driving a manual car is that it keeps my mind engaged; I have to be very mindful of what I’m doing and the circumstances around me. No wool gathering while I drive.

Because of having to really think about what I’m doing while I drive, and also because I’ve sat in a lot of rush hour traffic the past few years, I often find myself contemplating how things I think about while driving also can apply to life. Here are some life lessons I’ve realized while driving Little Red.

Leave lots of space. The thing with a manual car is that if you don’t shift correctly, the car will often roll back or lurch forward. Also you can’t really stop it as quickly as you can an automatic car. Well, I guess you can, but it’s really unpleasant – stopping the car quickly is a bit of a mental shift for me (clutch or brake? or both?), and it can be very jarring if I don’t do it right. So I’ve learned that when driving it’s good to leave space so I don’t have to do anything too suddenly if I don’t have to. In life too, it’s good to leave room in case you want to roll something back or if you need to stop suddenly. Don’t pack life so close that you can’t do those things.

Give people grace – you might not know what’s going on. I feel like people who don’t drive manual cars don’t really understand the multi-step process that driving a manual car takes. There have been many times when I’ve stalled the car at a stop sign or stop light, and then people honk at me when I don’t move quickly enough for their tastes. I really hate being honked at while trying to restart my car. Or once time, I had someone come up to me and say, “I think your parking brake is on” when really I was on an incline and having a bit of difficulty getting the rhythm of releasing the clutch and gunning the accelerator. The nice young man meant well – when he realized that I was driving a manual car, he apologized. These days, when the light turns green and the car in front of me doesn’t go immediately, I remind myself to be patient because it might be because the driver has stalled their car, like I’ve done many times. Everyone deserves grace over aggressive car honking be it at a stop light or any other time in life.

Related – ignore the honking and concentrate on the task at hand. When I’ve stalled and there’s a long line of cars behind me, I start to get a little anxious, feeling bad for holding up traffic. And when the honking starts, it compounds my anxiety. But then I have to take a deep breath, tune out all the noise and just concentrate on getting the car started again. I channel this concentration often at work – when I have a particularly difficult sequence to call, I can’t let myself be distracted by everything going on around me – I focus on the music and the cues and hone on in what needs to be done. Silence the internal and external critics because I know how to get the car started, the show on, my child to calm down. There is strength in knowing what to do.

Slow and steady beats fast and jerky. When I’m in rush hour traffic, I’ve learned that it’s better put the car in 2nd gear and go slowly and consistently than be constantly shifting into a higher gear and accelerating to match the stop and go pace of the cars around me. Sure I could move a little faster if, but then I inevitably will have to stop or downshift when I get too close to the car in front of me; constantly speeding up and slowing down is tiring and more often than not I end up stalling the car because I don’t shift fast enough. Like the tortoise, it’s better to go at a consistent slower pace. There is no need to rush. Rushing takes a lot more mental energy and will just make me frustrated when I have to slow down anyway. I think of this in regards to my career- I sometimes feel jealous of people whose careers move in leaps and bounds. But I have to remind myself that I am the head of my department because I climbed the ladder slowly and didn’t let myself get burnt out by moving to big projects too quickly.

Listening is important. There are some standard speeds for when to shift, but it’s also important to listen to the car as well. If it sounds like the car is working too hard, it often means I’m in the wrong gear and need to shift. Listening is such an important part of figuring out where things need to be – I find this is also true with people.

Sometimes you just need to be neutral. Okay, this one is actually a pretty terrible habit while driving stick shift – I probably put the car into neutral when going downhill more than I should. So this is perhaps not a good metaphor, but it’s something I often think about when shifting to neutral. You have to be in neutral when the car is at a stop light or the car will stall. (Unless you keep your foot on the clutch, but that’s not a great habit either.) Often when I’m sitting in neutral, I think about what “being neutral” means in life – when is it best to take a step back and observe in order to keep the engine of things going? Also – I have a terrible poker face so my face is very rarely in neutral.

But…. You can’t go uphill in neutral. Something that goes hand in hand with that last point. I’m still not the best at starting the car on an incline – Any tips for me? – but I have learned through trial and error that you can’t go uphill in neutral, though you can go downhill. How true is that for so many things? To move forward and make progress you need to put the car in a gear – be bold, make decisions. Not taking a stand can often lead to being idle or backsliding, or just gunning the accelerator unnecessarily. On that note – don’t gun the accelerator unless you know what gear you’re in. To climb mountains you need to be in the right gear and give things the right push at the right time.

I don’t know how long we’ll have a manual car. The oldest will learn to drive in a few years and while I like the idea of her learning to drive a manual car, it seems impractical. The current car is 13 years old, but it still runs well (Thank you, Subaru). Either way, I’m glad Little Red is in our life and that it has made me contemplate so many things in life.

Did you ever learn to drive a manual car? What is the best advice you’ve been given about driving? What do you think about when driving? When do you feel like you most need grace? Are you good at being in neutral?

Weekly recap + what we ate: Memorial Day weekend and reconsidering evenings

Even though it was a long weekend. I still had to work on Saturday and Monday I had a shop call for our union. So it didn’t feel like a long weekend. But it was the first Sunday in ages when no one had any activities, so I declared I wanted to go on a hike. I haven’t been on a proper hike in such a long time – I don’t think I’ve been on one yet this year. We wanted to just go for half a day, so I picked a new to us location that was about 45 minutes away – Gambrill State Park. I thought it was a perfectly pleasant hike – the weather was nice and cool, and the hike had some pretty steep parts to keep it interesting. (The Husband at one point said, “I have one work for you – switchbacks. Clearly this hiking path was made by young men with good knees.”). There was a nice little view of the city below at the end. I think it was a 3 mile loop which we did in about 2.5 hours.

Blosssoms in the woods.
View from the top.

At the parking lot, there was a little nature/history center. It had a couple small exhibits on the wildlife in the area and then also a room dedicated to the Civilian Conservation Corps which built the park as part of the New Deal. I was super fascinated by this menu that was on display.

I have so many thoughts: First of all – the three meals are Breakfast, Dinner, and Supper. Where’s lunch? I’m guessing Dinner is the midday meal? (I’ve never really used the term “supper”.) Though it looks like dinner is the large meal on the weekends. On the weekdays, it’s sandwiches. Secondly – it’s a lot of meat. The vegetable pickings are… slim – buttered beets? And the only fruit I see are oranges, stewed apricots, and prunes. Thirdly – I’m glad they got ice cream. Fourthly – what’s a “cheese salad” sandwich?

Speaking of food – this whole trip I had been promising the kids that we could have ice cream if they came on the hike – yes, my kids need to be bribed to go hiking with their parents. The 13 year old said, “I don’t want ice cream. I want boba.” To which I said, “I don’t think there will be boba where we are going.”

Well, lo and behold, when we got to the vista point, there were two young men hanging out with boba drinks. I gave the 13 year old a nudge and she went up to them and said, “Excuse me, where did you get your boba?”

Well, I was wrong – there was a boba place about 15-20 minutes from the park.

After the hike, we went to late lunch at a nearby diner, where the portions were huge and delicious and then we went to get boba. The Boba place was in the back of a family owned Filipino grocery store.

Oolong tea, lychee jelly and boba. My usual. The boba was a little too soft for my tastes.

The boba place was in the same plaza as a furniture store. The Husband and I have a weakness for furniture stores. There’s something really fun about going and looking at furniture for us – I don’t know what it is – we like sitting in chairs, opening and closing drawers, looking at side tables. I think furniture is fun and full of possibilities. A lot of furniture in furniture stores, though, we find is too big for our space so we don’t often buy anything. At any rate, there was a Memorial Day sale going on and we ended up buying two chairs. One for the Husband to sit and read in the sun room and one swivel chair that’s big enough for two people that is going to be super cozy for reading together. Not sure if that will go in the kids’ bedroom or in the living room yet. I also found this super cute swivel chair that I was really tempted to get for the 13 year old’s room, except it’s white and a white chair in a teenager’s room seems… unwise.

The chair we did not get.

Anyhow, that was our big Memorial Day adventure. On Monday I took the little kids to the park while the Husband gardened. Then I had a meeting for union stuff, and then I headed over to a friends’ house to eat lots of meat. Out friend had a smoker and he made pulled pork, brisket, and ribs. It was all delicious.

Evenings: I’ve been pondering evenings. It’s another quirk of “reentry” after closing a show that suddenly I get my evenings back. Now that I’m not at the theatre every night, a whole new time slot has opened up in my life. There was one day last week, when the kids were home from school by 4:30pm, and I didn’t have to start dinner until 5:00pm, and I sat in the living room and read while the kids did… I’m not sure, but it didn’t involve me. And it felt horribly indulgent. But then I thought, “What if this is just what life is like?” I’m sure there was something on my to do list that I could have done – my desk, for example, needs a going through, there are bills to be paid (and a traffic ticket) – but none of that felt urgent. The time between coming home from the bus and then starting dinner – surely it isn’t a time of leisure, is it? It feels like there should be million things to do upon returning to the house in the evening.

Another night last week, the Husband took the 8 year old to soccer practice and I was home with the other two kids. “What shall we do?” I asked. And how silly it felt to be asking, “What shall we do?” at 7pm in the evening. Shouldn’t we be at the point in the evening where we stop doing things? Anyhow, the 5 year old’s response was, “Can we bake something?” So I made a lemon buttermilk cake. It was delicious. Here are some other things we have done with our evenings, post dinner clean up:
-played card games. (Currently I love playing Skyjo – it’s a numbers game, which is nice because it doesn’t require deftness with the English language or being able to read, meaning that both my father and the 5 year old can play.)
-Watched New Girl with the 13 year old and howled with laughter.
-Read a book while listening to the kids practice piano.
-Read a book while the kids played together. One night, the 13 year old decided she wanted to stage “Dear Theodosia” from Hamilton with her little siblings. It involved stuffed animals and chairs put together to make a crib.
-Walk around the block.

It used to be the late afternoons/evenings were a slow crawl towards bedtime, but it doesn’t feel like that anymore. The kids are old enough that they don’t require constant vigilance. They usually even help clean up. There are kid activities, and even then, with both parents at home, we can take turns driving. And we don’t need to participate in the activities; we can just drop off. And then go run errands or read or take a walk or write. I hate to say it, but kids activities have sometimes been lovely pockets of alone time for me.

The other thing for me is that 7:00pm is a little bit of a mind shift. When I’m at work, 7pm is the start of the last rehearsal of the day. At 7pm, there are three and a half more hours of work in front of me before I can clock out. 7pm is the most hectic time off the day at work because we have chorus and dancers and principals and supers showing up for rehearsal all at once and it’s a mad frenzy to check all the sign in sheets and make sure were are ready to start rehearsal. But when I’m not working, 7pm feels like the end of the day – the dishes are all done (hopefully), the floors are swept, and there is just one little sliver of time left before the kids can go to bed. Before the kids need to go to bed and we can, as the Husband says, Turn off the taxi cab light. 7pm is wind down time. Okay, baking a cake is not a wind down activity, but there is a certain soothing rhythm to baking that lends itself to a gentle close to the day. And, truth, some nights it takes up upwards of 90 minutes to clean up after dinner, so clearly a leisurely evening is not always the case. This is probably for another post, but I don’t understand how some nights post dinner clean up is 20 minutes and sometimes it just seems to take. so. long.

Which, having said all that, we are about to go into eight weeks of summer swim season, so the evenings will decidedly not be leisurely as there will be practices four nights a week as well as a weekly meet. But I guess that’s it – maybe we are in a season – and I work in an industry – where the routines and rhythms are constantly shifting? So I have to work at being intentional – or intentionally unintentional – about those evening hours. I could putter around the house endlessly, but I could also read a book. I could sit down and pay the bills, or I could scroll. All activities add value to my life, fills buckets – yes, even scrolling in moderation. I think what doesn’t fill my buckets is feeling like I am defaulting to being unintentional with my energy. Maybe I need a list of activities that could be done in 15, 30, 60 minute increments? A couple things I do want to do more is consistent journaling, painting, organize something (bins, papers, files, craft supplies…)

I’ll leave you with this bit of sartorial serendipity….
When you and your kid inadvendently dress all matchy-matchy:

Grateful For:

-The parent in the 5 year old’s class who had the class over to try vegetables from their garden. What a sweet little field trip. Also, the 5 year old ate kale. This is the kid who picks any speck of green out of her food. And then a few days later, she ate salad. On her own. Like filled a bowl with vegetables and lettuce and ate it.

-Our friend for giving us his CSA while he’s on vacation. We ate the salad greens and the fennel. (The fennel I used in a fruit salad). We still have chard and mustard greens left, though…

-our piano and people who play it, filling the house with music.

-summer evenings warm enough and light enough for a post dinner constitutional.

-having the ingredients on hand to impulsively make a cake. And then having the cake on the counter to snack on all week.

This cake definitely tastes better than it looked.

-That one of my bus stop friends whom I no longer get to see anymore because of return to office requirements got off work two hours early and came to the bus stop and I got to see her and chat.

-getting a run in between activities and sudden rain showers.

-It’s mulberry season! There are several mulberry bushes along the paths/trails where I walk and it’s a true joy of summer – picking mulberries off the bushes and eating them – a sweet/tart treat.

-Dogs at the dentist. My dentist has an office dog – a cute chill little beagle that greets patients as they come in. It just brightens my day when I go for my cleaning to see her bright eyes and wagging tail.

-Siblings not fighting:

-Being able to get a same day doctor’s appointment. The 5 year old’s eye was strangely swollen one day, so she couldn’t go to school. But I was able to call the pediatrician and get an appointment for later that day. They couldn’t tell for certain what it was, but put her on antibiotics just in case.

-Getting a bonus afternoon with the 5 year old because she couldn’t go to school. See above. After the doctor’s I took her to the park and we had a lovely afternoon in the sunshine.

Looking Forward To:
-Piano recitals for the 8 year old and the 13 year old. (This has since happened…)

-First Communion for the 8 year old. This falls under the “I’m not Catholic, but I like rituals and gatherings.”

-Voice recital for the 13 year old. Maycember keeps coming.

-going to the opera with the Husband and the 13 year old.

-Seeing this movie:

I don’t go to the movies a lot – it just always seems very expensive to me in terms of time and money. But this movie looks like exactly my catnip, so a friend and I are going to see a weekday matinee.

-Also – You’ve Got Mail is currently on Amazon Prime. It’s been on my “Movies I’ve never seen but really want to watch” list forever. So that’s going to happen too. I actually put it on one night as I was doing the dishes, but it was so adorable that I turned it off and decided I wanted to save it for when I could snuggle on the couch and watch it.

What We Ate:

Monday: Sandwiches and cut up vegetables. Simple supper for an activity filled Monday night.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday. Chicken mole tacos – this was the mole sauce that I made a huge batch of last month and then froze. It actually tasted better this second time around. I still have one more jar of sauce in the freezer. yum.

Wednesday: Greek Pasta Salad. Vegan. I was looking for a vegan pasta salad and came across this recipe for tofu feta – it’s basically tofu marinated to give it the flavor profile of feta. I thought it was delicious. The family really liked it. The Husband said that once you get over the fact that the “feta” is not, in fact, cheese, it’s really tasty.

Thursday: Breakfast Sandwiches

Friday: Pizza (the Husband made pizza) and The Eternals. It was the 13 year old’s turn to choose the movie and she picked this Marvel movie – the movie was fine, but it was 2.5 hour long, which was longer than I wanted to spend watching flashing flight scenes and bizarre hard to follow plots. But I do think Gemma Chan is divine.

Saturday: My dad took us out to dinner at a nearby Chinese restaurant where we ordered waaaaay too much food, all of it delicious.

Sunday: we didn’t really have dinner because we had a late lunch at a diner with hugmongous portions so no one was hungry come dinner time

Monday: We went over to a friend’s house for Memorial Day cookout. Our friend loves to smoke meat and he had brisket, ribs, and pulled pork. Also mac n cheese, baked beans, and two kinds of pie. We brought fruit salad and an green salad.

Hope you have a lovely weekend!
How long does it take for you to clean up after dinner? On that note – do you call it dinner or supper? Anyone have ideas of what to do with mustard greens? Any movies that you’ve always wanted to see but never have? What would you do with 15 minutes of free time? 20? 30?

Weekly Recap + What We Ate: Thinking about an Intentional Summer

Last week was my first week without a show to work on, and, as always, there’s a period of readjustment/ re-entry after being gone in the evenings and weekends so much. Things are not where I expect them to be, routines have shifted, some routines haven’t shifted yet I need to figure out how to fit back into them. Expectations have shifted. That’s a big one, I’m learning. When the family doesn’t expect me home, it’s a bit of a shift when I am all of a sudden around.

Some delightful things last week, though…

-Social plans with friends – Happy hour (or rather happy three hours) with my friends from the bus stop who I don’t see anymore because of return to office orders. It was great to catch up and I had a delicious dill pickle brined fried chicken sandwich. Another day, I had lunch with other friends whom I used to work with but now don’t see anymore.

-Randomly running into one of those lunch friends four days later at the skating rink with our kids. Isn’t it so delightful when you randomly run into a friend? And it was so nice to meet her son. I have friends who I meet through our kids and it’s nice to have friends that were friends before kids and you finally meet their kids and it’s like meeting a mini version of your friend.

-Going to Ikea with my parents. Having lunch at the cafe where the light is so soft and makes everything look good. Also – how much do I love wandering through Ikea! All the lives and possibilities it’s trying to sell me? Everything so practical. And finding the exact chair we wanted in their clearance room for $17, marked down from $35.

It was a very rainy day – felt very Scandanavian.

-The 5 year old was finally baptized. The Husband is Catholic, so this is something that we had intended to do in 2020, but pandemic and then procrastination. And here we are. I’m not Catholic, but I do love rituals of tradition and gathering.

-It’s also Breakfast Smoothie Season here. The kids have been having berry smoothies (cashews – though I’m temporarily out, frozen berries, kefir, honey, chia seeds, banana, ice.) and I’ve been having green smoothies (kale, ginger, honey, vanilla, kefir, banana). The other day, the 5 year old said to me, “You have an Elphaba smoothie and I have a Galinda smoothie!” Side note, I think we will be watching Wicked for movie night soon.

Summertime….For the first time in a while, I’m not working during the summer. Even though the prospect of nine weeks at home seems to stretch into the void, I know it will fly by quickly and before you know it, we’ll be back in school. I don’t want to arrive at the end of August feeling like I didn’t have an intentional summer. Which is not to say everything needs to be planned – I just want to have a good mix of fun, productive projects, active moments, and relaxing time. And connection. I am fast realizing that our summers as a family of 5 are limited. We only have four or five years left before the oldest one is launched and off to college. I want to set building blocks so that we feel connected as a family.

Things that are already on the calendar:
-Swim Team for the 13 year old, pre-team for the 8 and 5 year olds. This means 5 evenings a week at the pool for most of June and July.
-Trip to South Africa with the 13 year old. (10 Days)
-Weekend in New York City to meet up with the Husband’s sister.
-Summer Camp -for the 8 year old: 2 weeks of theatre camp. For the 13 year old, 2 weeks of basketball camp and 3 weeks of theatre camp
-continuing with piano lessons (13 year old and the 8 year old), and basketball workouts (13 year old), and skating lessons (8 year old and 5 year old) and agility class and/or gymnastics (5 year old)
-five days at a Taiwanese American cultural camp for the 5 and 8 year olds. They are going with my mother. I don’t really know what goes on there, but it’ll be their first time away without me or the Husband and I’m excited/nervous about how they’ll take it.
-the 5 year old’s last day of preschool will be the end of June. (SOB!). I’ve sent the notice. I’m feeling a little sad and wistful and I’m regretting that her last day will be while I’m away, but it didn’t make sense to keep her in longer since she’s going to Taiwanese American kids camp the day before I get back.

Other Summer Things on my Menu of Activities: I’m calling this a “menu” because these are things I’ve brainstormed for this summer – some fun activities, some life tasks. It’s not a “to do” list or any kind of mandate by any means.
-Time at the Pool (aside from swim team time – I would love to swim some laps myself. Maybe even take the kids to the county pool where there are water slides.)
-Getting the two younger kids to learn how to swim confidently and independently.
-Make a family summer play list.
-Family biking time – teaching the 5 year old to ride without training wheels and getting the 8 year old a new bike. (he is currently using a pink and turquoise hand me down bike with broken pedals.)
-Teaching the 8 year old how to tie his shoes.
-Boba taste test. There are a lot of boba shops around here. The 13 year old and I have a plan to try all the places and pick our favorite.
-Camping.
-Hiking.
-Visit the library and read lots of books
-Find a perfect pair of sandals. This is on the summer list every year for the past three years or so, but I love my current El Naturalista Zumaia sandals so much that I always I manage to squeeze one more summer out of them. I would like to get a new pair of sandals before I leave for South Africa.
-make paletas. I borrowed some books from the library with recipes I want to try.
-Mow the lawn regularly. I don’t like yardwork, and the Husband does most of it, so I’m vowing to take on some of it.
-host friends for grilling/dinner
-Lunches and meet ups with friends, particularly mom friends and former federal worker friends.
-Outdoor concerts and music
-eat lots of peaches. (Last year we regularly got peaches from The Peach Truck, but they aren’t delivering nearby this year. I’m trying to decide if it’s worth the 30 minute drive for a 25 lb box of amazing peaches.)
-Take the kids to a rock climbing gym or to the adventure park.
-Take the kids to the local water park.
-Closet audit. Get rid of things I no longer wear.
-Watercolor postcard project. Paint and send mail. (Do you want a postcard from me? I feel like if I collect addresses, I’m committing myself to doing this one. Which would be a good thing.)
-Go school supply shopping in early August. Also Maryland’s tax free week is the beginning of August, so if we need any clothes or shoes, that would be a good time to go shopping for those. (Although the kids usually get fresh shoes for summer…)
-Teaching the kids some life skills (cooking, touch typing, how to tell time, maybe cursive – is that too ambitious?)/ making sure they get into the habit of doing their chores.
-Eating outside when possible.
-Have a screen free day or two.
-See some opera. Even though I won’t be working for the opera company I worked for last summer, i do want to see some of their productions.
-movie afternoons, either at home or at a movie theatre.
-Buy produce at a farmer’s market, or a farm stand. Make yummy food from our purchases.
-Going to the County Fair, riding all the rides and seeing the animals.
-Work-wise – we have union negotiations coming up this summer. I want to be an active participant in that.
-I also have a few work meetings scattered here and there that I’ll need to attend.
-Decluttering projects: The sewing corner, my desk corner, the medicine/linen closet in the bathroom, the pile of outgrown clothes/hand me downs in the 13 year old’s bedroom. The toy room. I’m posting a picture to remind myself what a dire situation these places are. Brace yourselves, it’s kind of awful. I hope I’ll have some “after” pictures come August.

Potential Summer Stressors:
-Money. When I’m not working, money is of course a little tighter. I’m going to try to pick up one off gigs when I can, but to be honest, I don’t love event work; it pays really well, but is highly stressful for me.
-Not having enough alone time. I will always have at least one child at home with me this summer, and sometimes I just want to sit and read and not have to fix a snack or read someone a book or referee a fight or what not. I’m lucky that my kids are pretty self sufficient, but even still, it’s not nothing.
-Being hot. Being in the sun. Being in the car when I’m hot. This always just puts me in a bad mood. At least I won’t have a soul sucking commute like I did last summer, though there will be time in the car because of camp drop offs/pick ups.
-mosquitoes.
-house projects with the house we manage.
-Getting the kids to actively participate in chores or family activities/ fighting about screen time. I fully recognize the need for them to have time to chill and decompress, but also want to balance that with a sense of responsibility.
-Eating dinner at the pool all the time and keeping pool time organized in general. It’s a lot of work to pack for the pool. Last year, I got it down to a good routine, but every year is a little different. One of the big shifts this year is I have to reconsider where we dry the swim stuff. We used to dry it in the lower bathroom, but now that is the 13 year old’s bathroom, so it is going to be inconvenient for her to have to always move the stuff.

Now that I’ve written all that down, I can see summer as full of possibilities and also some road blocks. I think what will help with the road blocks:
-Researching low cost activities. We are lucky there are a lot of free things to do in the area.
-Sitting down and making a plan to do those low cost activities. Put them on the calendar.
-Being brave and saying, “Yes” to any gigs that I can work.
-Having a structure to my days – block in rest time and adventure time and chore time. Or acknowledge that some days will only be two of those three categories. Or even just one.
-Have lots of cool treats and beverages in the fridge and freezer.
-Meal plan. I do this a lot anyway.
-Making a screen time plan with the kids.
-Embrace mornings as calm times. Embrace evenings as family time.
-Remember that the goal is we a feel connected and ready for the new school/work year in September.

Grateful For This Week:
-Stories from my parents. I’m going to admit that my parents and I don’t have a super easy relationship. It’s loving and supportive, but the conversation has never really flowed easily between us. I’m sure I need to unpack that a little -I feel like it has something to do with the culture that my parents are from (very patriarchal/valuing filial piety) and the culture I grew up in (less so, and resentful of filial piety) Anyhow, on Mother’s Day, the New York Times published article called “25 Questions to Bring You Closer to Your Mom.” Every so often in the days that followed, I would ask my mom and dad one of the questions, and the answers were surprising and insightful. Some of my favorites:
“What was your nickname growing up?”
“What are some of your favorite memories of the two of us?”
“What’s the worst advice you ever received about motherhood?”
“Who made you feel seen when you were growing up?” I thought this one was particularly interesting because both my parents said when they were growing up, they didn’t want to be seen, because that meant they were in trouble. This made my heart ache a little.

-Dog Man books in the Little Free Library. The 8 year old LOVES Dog Man books. I love not having to pay full price for them.

-Sleep. Trying to catch up and having the time to catch up and having a bed in which to catch up. I’ve been noticing this past year that I get incredibly tired the day or two before I get my period. Like “in bed by 9:30pm” tired. (I’m usually in bed at midnight most nights). I’m grateful I had the time and space to be able to just sleep last week when I was premenstrually tired.

-Cherry Coke and a chocolate chip cookie. An awesome combination.

-The 5 year old getting into the French Immersion program. This means that she will get to go to the same school as the 8 year old. Thank goodness. I mean we would have figured out three kids at three different schools – and we will have to in a few years – but I’m grateful that that is a future me problem.

-The Husband for clearing everyone out of the house when I had a splitting headache. He took the 8 year old to soccer practice and also convinced the other two kids and my parents to ride along. I lay in a dark and quiet room and popped a bunch of Advil and was feeling much more normal when they came home two hours later.

-That the rain let up just in time. We were supposed to meet our friends for a picnic and a show last Friday, and just as I was stepping out the door, the rain came down in unrelenting sheets, making driving pretty scary, and I thought, “Uh oh, so much for a picnic!” But the rain was actually quite isolated and the skies at the park was clear and the picnic tables were relatively dry and we had a lovely picnic lunch and then went to see a student musical theatre showcase and it was quite a fun evening.

-Park benches along a trail and the the perfect not to hot/not too cold weather to sit on one and enjoy the wind in the trees.

Looking forward to:

-June. Maycember is hitting pretty hard. I don’t know that June will be any more restful, but I’m looking forward to flipping the page on the calendar. It’s all good things in May – baptisms, recitals, soccer games, parents visiting, first communions, wrapping up the school year – but it is exhausting to be always out and about.

-Memorial Day Weekend. Is this weekend?!?!?! where did that come from? I understand we have plans to grill with our friends, but I’m a little hazy on the details.

-This audiobook. I don’t usually do romance novels on audio, but this one is narrated by Will Watt, who read Ten Things That Never Happened, and he was so charming and heartfelt in that book that when I saw he had recorded a new audio book, I immediately put it on my holds list. His deep, rumbly voice is like being wrapped up in my favorite feel good movie.

What We Ate:
Monday: Pesto Pasta Salad from NYTimes Cooking. I didn’t have capers, so I used sundried tomatoes instead, and I subbed walnuts for the pine nuts. Everyone really liked this. Vegan

Tuesday: Shrimp Tacos. This was the night I went out with my friends, so i had a very tasty dill pickle brined fried chicken sandwich. Before I left, I prepped the shrimp for the tacos and left the 13 year old with instructions on heating up the taco shells.

Wednesday: Kielbasa on the grill, sweet potatoes, and steamed broccoli. The Husband cooked. The sweet potatoes were this recipe, and were really tasty. The Kielbasa was from the Kielbasa factory, and we cooked them on the grill. I’m so excited for more grilling. Also – in my quest for ways that the kids can help in the kitchen after dinner, I had the 5 year old label the leftover kielbasa:

Thursday: Dumplings and green beans

Friday: Chicken sandwich picnic – I also packed cucumbers, apples, and strawberries.

Saturday: Pizza (carry out) and Chariots of Fire (It was my dad’s turn to pick the movie. I’ve never seen Chariots of Fire before – the two older kids were surprisingly engaged. The 5 year old, not so much.)

Sunday: Mac and Cheese – the 13 year old is made dinner! She did accidentally put in twice the amount of butter than was called for, so it was a very rich mac n cheese.

Hope your week has been lovely!
What would you do with 25lbs of peaches? What corner in your house is most in need of a good declutter? Favorite frozen treat or cold drink for summer? Who made/makes you feel seen? Mosquito solutions? Any plans for the Memorial Day weekend? I have to work on Saturday, but I’m hoping for a hike and some time with friends on Sunday and Monday.