Ask Me Anything – Life Off Headset

Weekly recap + what we ate: Four random things I’m bursting to share

Four random things that popped into my head/ into my life last week that I thought I’d share:

1) We have discovered that the first nine tracks of KPop Demon Hunters lasts just short of 30 minutes. The first nine tracks is where all the hit songs are. The tenth track is the Korean ballad Love, Maybe, which I like because it reminds me of the Taiwanese songs that my parents listen to, but which the kids declare is “boring”. But the real point of this is that 30 mins about the amount of time it takes to clean up the kitchen in the evening. So I make a deal with the kids: We only have to clean the kitchen for the duration of the songs on the KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack. When we get to Love, Maybe we can stop cleaning. If they stop cleaning before we get to Love, Maybe, I turn the music off. It’s been working remarkably well, and I love the synchronicity of it all. You know that feeling of great satisfaction when something just fits perfectly? like when you get to the end of a song as you pull into the driveway? Or when the gap in your suitcase is just big enough to fit that one last thing that you wanted to pack? Or when you realize that you can drop one kid at activity A, and turn around and pick up another kid from Activity B and be back in time to get the first child? Or when your document fits exactly on one page? Well I get that same really satisfied feeling when I put the last dish towel in the wash bin as Love, Maybe starts.

2) We went to a new to us Indian place! Funny story – as I was driving to the thrift store a few weeks ago, I passed our favorite Indian restaurant. This was the place from which we ordered trays of saag paneer and chana masala for our rehearsal dinner. (There might still be a portion of that chana masala in our freezer. We got married 17 years and an whole other house ago.). But… the Indian place was no longer there. I texted the Husband – “Did you know Red Chilis is closed???” He texted back, “Yeah it closed two years ago.” Wait, what??? I guess it had been a while since we had been there.
Anyhow, since then, I’ve had a hankering for Indian food, and so this past weekend, we tried a new to us Indian place that had lots of good reviews. It was a bit out of the way, but we decided to make an afternoon of visiting that part of the county – we ran errands in that direction, found a church near there with a 5pm Saturday Mass, and after Mass we went to Dosa and Chaat, which was located in an unassuming strip mall as any good restaurant would be. The food was amazing. We ordered Samosa Chaat – a samosa smothered in tamarind sauce – two kinds of dosa, two curries, and the goat biryani. Everything was so delicious and flavorful. We had intentionally ordered a lot of food so that we would have leftovers, but at the end there was just one little spoonful of butter chicken and one serving of the biryani to take home. I sort of regretted eating so much because next door was a vegan bakery that looked really good, but I was too full to get anything there. Ah well, next time. 10/10, would eat there again, even though the waiter did roll his eyes at us when we ordered the food mild. (for the kids’ sake. I like my food spicy. Even still, the biryani was pretty spicy.) I don’t always like going out to eat – it’s expensive and always such a production to go to restaurants with the kids – but getting good Indian food is always worth it to me.

Paneer Dosa. I didn’t get pictures of the rest of the food because we were too busy eating it.

3) There is a preschool nearby that twice a year has a huge consignment sale. I like to go because it’s a good way to stock up on clothes for the kids, but I have to admit the selection for kids 6+ is kind of slim. I think we might age out of this sale in another year or two. But anyhow, last week, I went and I picked up some long sleeved clothes for the kids, including this assortment of tops:

Two things, looking at the picture –
1) I have a weakness for red shirts, and
2) I was really excited to find some sort of matching tops for the 8 year old and the 6 year old. The 8 year old always complains that he never gets to match with his 5 year old sister. The 5 year old and the 13 year old used to have lots of matching outfits, and he felt left out – because heaven forbid that his older sister gets to do something that he doesn’t get to do!- so when I saw red and navy striped shirts in both their sizes, I put them in my basket. Don’t say I never do anything for you, kid.
Also – my other thought at the sale is I am baffled when people sell Cat and Jack (Target brand) clothes here for $4 or $5. I can get Cat and Jack leggings new at Target for $6 – why would I want to pay $4 for them at the consignment sale when there are other sturdier brands I could get for $4 or $5?
Oh – and my last thought on the consignment sale – I could not look at an item that was size “6/7”, without hearing my kids’ voice in my head saying that addictive, pervasive sing-song-y six-seven thing that is so popular these days. It was ridiculous. I even might have found myself muttering it under my breath at times.

4) I’ve recently discovered a new breakfast toast. Well, English Muffin, but still… the idea’s the same. English Muffin topped with peanut butter, honey, and apple slices. On the heels of Rosh Hashanah, I’ve been eating apples and honey. I’m not Jewish, but I have many friends who are, and they introduced me to this combination. Anyhow, I was having my usual English muffin with peanut butter and honey, when I realized – apples go with peanut butter. apples go with honey. So apples must go with peanut butter and honey! I was so right. It was delicious and now in regular rotation for English muffin or toast toppers.

5) Okay and one frustration – why are there so many things to log into for my kids’ school? There’s the website you log into to see their grades. There’s the site you log into to put money in their school lunch account. There’s the site you log into to pay for field trip and what not, because heaven forbid it can’t be the same site as what you use to pay for lunches. There is the site you log into to see assignments – which might be the same as the website for grades, but they have different names. I can’t keep up. This all came to a head for me when the 13 year old’s PE teacher wrote us a very nice email about how well the 13 year old is doing in PE class. It was the sweetest email to get. I wanted to write him back to thank him for the email. So I hit “reply”. And rather than just opening up a new email, I was taken to the log in page for ParentVue. Which, I don’t remember the log in information for. I just gave up. So, I’m very sorry Mr. PE Teacher – I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you, but I can’t seem to just be able to hit reply. Well, I hope you know you are appreciated. Maybe I’ll just send a note via carrier pigeon. I know the answer is really just to install a password manager. Sigh.

Grateful For:

-Pollinators and pollinator friendly plants. And the Husband for growing said plants – they are beautiful and useful. I don’t know what this plant is called, but it is such a cheerful addition to our front walk. The butterflies and the bees love it too.

-The library being open until 8pm. One evening, the Husband and the 13 year old were at a high school open house, so I took the two younger kids to gelato and the library. I appreciate having a safe quiet place to hang out with the kids in the evening.

-A bonus week! My number didn’t come up for jury service, so I didn’t have to report. I had originally blocked out this week for jury service just in case I had to go in, so I suddenly had a week open up for me. I got to have lunch with friends (twice!), go to the final day of union negotiations, visit a farmstand for apples, and all sorts of things.

-Apples! It’s apple season. So excited for all the different kinds of apples!

-That my chorus is small. I just started on my next opera and the chorus is just 12 people. The other show that we are producing, but which I’m not directly working on, has 60 people in the chorus. I love each and every member of our chorus, but I will fully admit, my job is a lot easier when there are 12 people, not 60.

Looking Forward To:
-Starting rehearsals. Can’t wait! One of my favorite operas.

-setting aside time to finally work on the kids’ Hallwe’en costumes.

-Family photos. We’re getting those taken next week. We haven’t had photos done in almost three years, but figured that the youngest going to kindergarten was a good reason to have fresh family photos taken. We’re trying to decide between taking them in an urban setting or at a park. The urban setting – downtown by my Husband’s work – has lots of interesting architecture; the park will probably be at peak fall foliage. Decision, decisions.

-Lenten Women’s group. We are reading, among other things, a passage from Esther. I’ve always loved Esther. Maybe because she is one of the few women who has her own book of the Bible.

-Mammogram and well woman appointment next week. Adulting. I’m not looking forward to the appointments, though I do really like my lady doctor. But I am looking forward to not having to think about it for another year.

What We Ate:
Monday: Sausage and steamed broccoli. The Husband cooked.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday – leftover pulled pork from the week below. Sliced cabbage, pickled onions, sour cream, cheese, and avocado for toppings.

Wednesday: Mac and cheese, hot dogs, and steamed green beans. The 13 year old cooked.

Thursday: Lemony white bean soup with turkey and greens. A Melissa Clark recipe from the NY Times Cooking. This soup was delicious and easy to put together. And it had lots of vegetables. I had enough leftover to freeze for future me.

Friday: Pizza (the Husband made it) and The Game Plan – movie featuring the Rock as someone who accidentally is saddled with a 9 year old daughter, he never knew about.

Saturday: Indian food at Dosa and Chaat.

Sunday: I had to work; The Husband made pasta with red sauce, and I ate the leftovers along with the leftover steamed broccoli from Monday.

Well, that’s another week, as we creep towards the end of the year! But first, Hallowe’en.
Do you have a weakness for a certain colour when you are buying clothes? Anyone want to weigh in on our urban vs. park family photo location? Do you have a soundtrack for any of your chores? What are your favorite things to eat on toast? Do you use a password manager? Tell me all about how awesome they are.

Ask Me Anything #2

I’m working my way through the questions that folks were kind enough to submit during NaBloPoMo, but which I never got around to answering.

These questions are from Maria!

What brought you to DC (or are you a native)?
I came to DC in 2003 for a Stage Management internship at my current opera company. After that internship I freelanced around the country for a few years, stage managing for a variety of opera companies. Even still, I had met my husband-to-be by the end of my DC internship, and he lived in DC, so I was pretty persistent about checking in with the opera company in DC to see if there were job openings. And then in 2006, an Assistant Stage Manager position opened up, I applied and was hired. I move here (ish) – I still freelanced a bit around the country at the time, but I’ve pretty much been based here ever since.

Best little known things to see in DC?
Oooh! So many. Some of my favorite off the beaten path things:
–Lincoln’s Cottage – this is the house in NW DC where Lincoln lived during the Civil War. While the house itself is rather bare, I think this is one of the best tour experiences in D.C. The tour guide takes you through the house and part of the tour is asking the participants questions and leading discussions about the decisions that Lincoln had to make as President. This is a great tour for anyone interested in engaging with history. Even though this museum does charges a fee, but I think it’s worth it. Lincoln’s cottage is the #1 thing I recommend to history buffs who have seen all the Museums on the Smithsonian Mall already.
-If you’re visiting Lincoln’s Cottage, I would also suggest visiting the Franciscan Monastery Gardens, about two miles away. This is one of the loveliest and most peaceful places in D.C.
–Frederick Douglass House – The Frederick Douglass National Historic site is a great foil to Lincoln’s cottage. The house itself can only be seen via a guided tour, but the grounds are open to visitors and has a lovely view of DC. There is a very dated film at the visitor’s center, which I found a little cringe-y to watch, but also fascinating. The house is in Anacostia, an area of town that is, honestly, not pretty and touristy like the National Mall and not a lot of people think to visit, but I think visiting can give people a more complete sense of DC.
–The Old Post Office Tower – So everyone wants to go up the Washington Monument when they are here. I’ve been up exactly once, and it is highly recommended if you can make it work. BUT tickets to the Washington Monument are really had to come by. So I offer an alternative: The Old Post Office Tower gives a spectacular view of the city and you don’t need tickets to visit. The line periodically can be long, but there’s a nice display along the way of the history of D.C.
-The Kennedy Center – Okay, so this is not little known place, but my favorite things about it are not well known: 1) they have FREE performances every Wednesday through Saturday at 6pm, and 2) the rooftop has an amazing view. So even if you don’t have tickets to see a show, it makes a nice stop to go up to the top and see the view and then catch a short performance afterwards.
–National Postal Museum – My favorite Smithsonian Museum to visit with the kids, though I don’t think the kids quite love it as much as I do because they really have no concept of how important snail mail is. I love it because a) I think the subject matter is fascinating, b) there are a lot of hands on activities for the kids – like sorting mail! Ride a mail wagon!, c) it’s never crowded, d) It’s right next to a metro stop, so it’s a really easy trip.
–Glenstone Museum – this museum is a bit out in the suburbs, but if you are into contemporary art, sculpture installations, and beautiful grounds, I highly recommend Glenstone Museum. They have a nice restaurant there too, so it’s a nice place to go with friends where you can chat, take a walk, see art, and grab a bite. It’s free, but you have to reserve tickets.

Favorite opera (to watch and to work)?
My favorite opera is The Marriage of Figaro. The story is ridiculous – the men are all kind of insecure jerks – but the music makes you believe that everything will be okay. It’s also an opera I’ve worked on six or seven times so I can watch a production without needing to read the supertitles, and that makes the experience more enjoyable for me.
As for working on – this is hard because so much of what makes an opera my favorite to work on has to do with the people I’m working with. But if all things were equal, some of my favorite things to work on is contemporary opera. There is just such a different energy in the room when you’re working on a new piece. I’ve been lucky to work on a couple world premieres and a couple operas where we are giving the second production and where things are still being re-written and that’s exciting. Also Benjamin Britten. I would love to work on any Benjamin Britten operas that I can.

What was your cloth diaper experience like? (I currently am on my third cloth diapered baby and am curious about your experience!)
I could write a lot about cloth diapers! I was mildly obsessed with them for a long time. I spend countless hours researching cloth diaper options, browsing cloth diaper websites, reading cloth diaper forums online, thinking about my laundry routine, trying out different diapers….

I knew I wanted to try cloth diapering from my very first baby. I was just really intrigued by the idea from an environmental standpoint and also because thought it would save money. (I’m not entirely sold on the cost savings for me…). We actually signed up for a cloth diaper class, but then my oldest was born a few weeks early and I had to send my Husband to the class on his own because I was still in the hospital. There are also a lot of apocryphal benefits to cloth diapers like being gentler on the skin and making potty training easier. I have to say I don’t really have direct evidence of this. I have one kid who toilet trained at 2.5 and one who didn’t figure it out til nearly 4. My kids did still periodically get diaper rash. Also people say cloth diapers are cheaper, and yes, by the third child we had a big enough stash of cloth diapers that we spent very little money on diapers, but the initial outlay is quite substantial.

Like breast vs. formula feeding, and really many things in life, cloth diapers is not an all or nothing endeavor. We did a mix of cloth and disposable diapers. We mostly used prefolds and covers. (Prefolds are rectangular cotton diapers that you fold around the baby and then you put a waterproof diaper cover over top.). At night we either used disposable diapers or pocket diapers. (Pocket diapers are diapers with a fleece or microfiber layer that you stuff with an absorbent inside, so they absorb well but also feel dryer against the baby’s bum because of that microfiber/fleece layer.).

We had one daycare that was okay with cloth diapers and one that did not allow them. We had another kid who used disposable at day care and cloth at night. (The third kid was born during the pandemic and didn’t go to daycare until she was practically toilet trained.) We had one kid who used cloth diapers during the day and disposables at night. We had another kid who used disposable at day care and cloth at night. It was all about what worked for us and the kid at the point in time.

For anyone one considering cloth diapers, I would say two things:
1) you have to be okay with doing a lot of laundry. We did a load of diapers every two or three days.
2) you have to be okay touching poop and with smelling poop. With cloth diapers, you have to rinse the poop off before you wash them. We had a diaper sprayer in our bathroom (still do) for this, but the poop can still go everywhere. My mother used to rinse poopy diapers by swishing the diaper right in the toilet. I found that touching poop was pretty unavoidable.

What I liked about cloth diapers:
1) Less trash. A kid goes through 6-8 diapers a day. That’s a lot of trash.
2) I wasn’t constantly buying disposable diapers. I think every few months I would buy one giant pack of diapers from Costco and that would last us a good long while.
3) Cloth diapers are soooo cute.
3) I never worried about running out of diapers because I knew I could just wash more diapers if I ever ran out.

Things I didn’t love about cloth diapers:
1) They can be fussy. If I didn’t wash them right they sometimes got really smelly or lost absorbancy.
2) the above mentioned laundry and poop.
3) They do tend to leak, in my experience more so than disposable diapers. I didn’t actually care that much about this, but I’m going to be honest, I found that all diapers would leak if you don’t change them frequently.
4) They do make the baby’s butt really big so you have to size up in pants.

Baby #3 with a monkey print cloth diaper. So cute!

Thanks for the questions, Maria! Those were fun things to think about!

If anyone wants to submit questions for me to answer in a future Ask Me Anything post, you can do so at this link.

What brought you to where you live? Or do you live where you grew up? Have you ever had to change a diaper? What’s the best view where you live? Do you like museums for history or for art?

Ask Me Anything #1

I meant to write some Ask Me Anything posts during November for NaBloPoMo, but never got around to those posts. But hooray, I have blog fodder for upcoming posts then.

These first round of questions come from Engie.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
When I was a child, I told everyone I wanted to be a pediatrician because it seemed to make my parents happy. My maternal grandfather was a doctor, and I had an uncle and an aunt who were doctors, so it was kind of the ultimate profession in my family, especially, I think, because as immigrants, a doctor kind of encapsulates the American Dream for them- work hard, get a good paying job, have enough money to own your own home, give back to society, and send back home. I didn’t really want to be a pediatrician.
Secretly I wanted to be a musical theatre star.
The ruse of wanting to go to med school lasted all the way up to my freshman year in college when I bombed physics and admitted to my parents that med school was just not going to happen.

Where did you meet your husband? When did you get married?
My Husband and I met at a contra-dance in 2003. (OMG when I write that out, I can’t believe I’ve known him for 21 years… ) It was my first week in D.C.; I was an intern at the opera company (the same one where I still work) and several of my co-workers were big into contra-dancing. They took me to a dance where they were friends with the Husband. It kind of took a long and meandering route after that, but that’s where it all started. We got married in 2009.

The ballroom where we met. This might be the first time we took the oldest kid dancing- you can see here there in the polka dot dress.

What does he do for a living?
The Husband does GIS work for our County. He makes maps and codes properties so that his department can pull data. At least I think that’s what he does. I usually tell people that he’s a map maker.

Have you ever had a pet?
Growing up, I had hamsters. They were always named Herman, after the Jim Unger comic strip. Even the females. Actually I think they were all females. Hermans never lived very long. I’m sure I had a county fair gold fish at one point. In high school we had a cat named Cat, after the cat in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. My mother had found the cat in the warehouse where she worked and brought him home. He eventually ran away, though.
The Husband and I had a cat named Guapo for a while. He had been a feral cat that our friend had adopted then had to re-home since she already had two other cats. Guapo was kind of a sad cat – he had some anxiety issues leading him to over groom so much that he was constantly leaking puss from licking his skin raw. It was actually like of a joke with our friends that Guapo was the least guapo cat you could fine. One summer, Guapo got hit by a car while we were on vacation.
Now we have fish and occasionally dog sit, which is plenty for us.

Guapo. He liked to sit on inconvenient (for us) surfaces. Also- the husband still give me a hard time about painting the kitchen that shade of green.

What’s your favorite part of having a blog?
I think my favorite part about having a blog is having a place to have thoughts of my own and to share them with other people and to have them share their thoughts with me. I like reading people’s blogs a lot, and I know the personal blog is not quite hip or fashionable right now, but then again, neither am I.

Thanks, Engie for submitting questions! This was a fun post to write!

What about you folks – have you ever been contra-dancing? What was the last time you used a map? Have you ever read Herman?

If anyone else wants to submit questions for an AMA anything, here’s the link.