Category: Books

Books read February – June 2022

The last time I wrote a “Books read” recap was in February. Since we are halfway through the year, this seems as good a time as any to round up the books that I’ve read so far this year. (Books I particularly loved reading get a *)

February 2022:

Facing the Mountain: A True Story of Japanese American Heroes in World War II by Daniel James Brown, read by Louis Ozawa – This non-fiction book recounts the lives of four Japanese Americans during the Second World War. Three of them enlisted and were deployed to Europe and the fourth was a patriotic resistor who was jailed for being Japanese. While I knew about the Japanese interment camps in America, my knowledge was very general. This book is filled with so many gripping and specific details of the lives of these men and their families and the degree of racism they faced in the wake of Pearl Harbor. I found myself so angry every time these American born Japanese people were told that they weren’t American and had their freedom taken away from them because of fear.

*Harlem Shuffle by Coleson Whitehead – This was such a well written and engaging book. It’s not as heavy as Nickel Boys, but still touches on the same themes of race, class, and getting ahead. This is the third book by Whitehead I’ve read and each books has had such a different style to it; I’m always impressed by how chameleon like yet distinctive Whitehead is as a novelist. And there are parts of the novel where I’m just bowled over by how perfectly his writing can capture something – like in one passage he describes slow moving traffics as “honking molasses”. Another favorite quote:
“The store was a circus during the day but serious and calm late at night, when the real work went down. Time, straight world rules, what his watch said – it was topsy turvy now. The temperament and spirit of these hours, what you stuffed into them, mattered more than where they fell on a clock’s face.”

The Stand In by Lily Chu, read by Phillipa Soo – okay, truth – I picked this up because it was one of those free books on Audible, and because it was read by Phillipa Soo, of Hamilton fame. This was a fun, breezy book. The main character Gracie is a dead ringer for a famous Chinese movie star Wei Fangli and she is approached on day to be the movie star’s stand in at social events, an undertaking that requires being escorted by the very handsome movie star Steve Yao. Between the book being set in Canada (Toronto, to be exact) and the details of Gracie’s Chinese-American mother, this book felt really homey to me. One of my favorite parts of the book is that on the side Gracie is working on creating a planner, which I think such a great detail. And in her planner there is a section for the “Don’t Think. Do.” list – things that just need to be done without over thinking. I think everyone needs to have a “Don’t Think. Do.” list.

March 2022:
If The Shoe Fits by Julie Murphy, narrated by Jen Ponton – A breezy novel about Cindy, a recent fashion school grad, who ends up starring in a Bachelorette type reality show. This book had so many fun descriptions of clothes, particularly shoes since that is where Cindy’s main design interest was.

*What Do You Say? How to Talk to Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home by William Stixrund and Ned Johnson – I found this book really helpful in that the authors provide a lot of scripts for conversations to have with one’s child. So many parenting books I find are very theoretical and have great ideas but don’t really give a lot of practical advice on how to implement the ideas with your kids, and also explains a lot of the neurological reasons why kids act the way they do. I also really liked that they encourage parents/caregivers to talk to their kids about how their brain reacts to things, so that they can better understand their own reactions. Another of my biggest takeaways from this book is the idea that if we intervene too much for our kids, they won’t learn to self regulate. So a lot of their scripts have the parent as a coach, asking questions to help their child figure things out for themselves. “How does that upset you?” is one questions they give for being supportive yet not overbearing. “[R]emember your goal:” they write,” a kid who know when they’re getting out of balance, how to get themselves back, and how to run their own life before they leave home.”

Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune – I didn’t love this one as much as I loved The House on the Cerulean Sea. There was an effortless whimsy and charm in the previous book that was missing in this one, as if everyone was aware that this book was about very big themes.

Notes from a Young Black Chef by Kwame Onwuachi with Joshua David Stein – Onwauachi became famous for being on Top Chef and subsequently opened a much anticipated restaurant in DC that ultimately closed rather quickly after opening. I thought this book was a really fascinating look inside the world of fine dining, a world that wasn’t easy for a Black man to navigate and assert himself. There is certainly a fine line between not wanting other people to define you by the colour of your skin, but at the same time wanting to honour your heritage in the food you make. One of his insights, really made me think of the world of stage managment, though:
“Catering is like low-grade war games: hope for the best, prepare for the worst. So I prepare for nearly every eventuality. I’m so organized my systems have systems. A successful kitchen runs on plastic quart containers and paper towels, strips of tape and Sharpies. On the doors of my fridges are taped elaborate spreadsheets breaking down each dish into its component parts and assigning each element to a team member. Now I just have to trust the system.”

*Razor Blade Tears by S.A. Crosby read by Adam Lazarre-White – This was a gritty crime thriller about two men, one white and one Black, who are drawn together by the murder of their sons, a married couple with a toddler daughter. Buddy Lee Jenkins and Ike Randolph, both men who have spent time behind bars themselves are determined to find out who was behind the murder of their sons. The actual mystery of the couples’ death seems secondary to the story of how Buddy Lee and Ike both come to terms with the loss they’ve suffered and their own prejudices against their sons and each other. This book was nail biting and heartbreaking.

Chemistry by Weike Wang. I was very meh about this novel. There was something very unsympathetic about the main character

April 2022

The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman full cast audiobook – We listened to this book on our road trip to Tennessee. I had listened to it before and the Husband and I are working our way through the HBO miniseries, so we thought it would be a good road trip book. I don’t know that I will every understand the theoretical aspects of Pullman’s series, but the characters are really well drawn and Pullman does know how to weave a really suspenseful adventure story. I don’t always love full cast audiobooks – they tend to seem disjointed to me somehow.

*The Devil’s Highway by Luis Alberto Urrea – I had heard Urrea’s interview with Krista Tippett on On Being and I thought he said many wise and beautiful things, so I wanted to read some of his books. This non-fiction book tells the story of a group of men who attempt to cross the US Mexico border only to get lost in the desert of southern Arizona. This was such a tragic desperate story, one that really made me think about both the personal aspects as well as the global implications of our current border policies.

Matrix by Lauren Groff– This book was on so many “Best of” lists and I just couldn’t get into it. I did love all the details of life in the Middle Ages, and the sly cheekiness of the main character Marie de France, a seventeen year old deigned unmarriageable and instead made a prioress at an abbey that is floundering. I think the style of the novel, encompassing nearly all of Marie’s entire life, felt like it meandered a little too much for me to fully grasp the weightier things that Marie was tackling.

May 2022

Dial ‘A” for Aunties by Jesse Q. Sutanto– This was another fun rom-com romp of a book. Wedding photographer Meddelin Chan accidentally kids her blind date and her very hands on mother and aunts – who work together putting on weddings- come help, all while trying to pull off the wedding of the year. Breezy, hilarious and written with lots of heart. I especially loved how familiar the main character’s Chinese-Indonesian Aunties felt. I mean the book was ridiculous on so many levels, but it was a good time and I laughed out loud several times.

With the Fire on High written and read by Elizabeth Acevedo – I really liked Acevedo’s Clap When You Land so I wanted to read more of her books. This book tells the story about Emoni Santiago, a high school student and talented chef who is trying to find her way and do what is best for herself, her baby daughter, and her family as well. I loved how Acevedo’s descriptions of food were moments of pure poetry and hearing her read her own words was a treat.

June 2022

*Firekeeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley – I guess this is technically a YA novel, though I feel like YA novels these days are more sophisticated and nuanced about the topics they tackle than when I was a teenager. In this novel, the main character Daunis, an Ojibwe teenager, has to face how she can best help her community after she witnesses a violent crime. I really appreciated how this book took place in a Native American community, and Boulley was able to write about it in a way that didn’t feel heavy handed or, conversely, dismissive. For example, she often uses Ojibwe names or terms, but allows the context to help the reader discover the meaning rather than directly translating or explaining things. I really enjoyed this novel – the plot was absorbing and the characters struck the nice balance of flawed yet sympathetic. I was sad when this book was over because I felt really invested in the characters.

*Happy and You Know It by Laura Hankin– I really liked this book a lot. This satirical novel centers around a Manhattan mom’s group and the musician that they hire to play for their babies. In exploring what life is like as a new mom, susceptible to many influences yet at the same time deeply isolated, parts of this novel made me laugh out oud, parts of this novel hit a close to home. While greatly entertaining, this book also made me think about what aspects of motherhood are heroic and what parts are oppressive – and what is perhaps both? My favorite quote: “TrueMommy was the same old patriarchal bullshit dressed up as empowerment, and Amara had fallen for it like a fucking idiot.”

*The Dawn Palace by H.M. Hoover read by Alyssa Bresnahan– I first read this book, a re-imagining of the Medea story, years ago, when I was perhaps twelve or thirteen and it left a huge impression on me. I don’t remember why, but I suddenly got a hankering to read it again, but I could only find an audio copy at my library. Hoover’s novel, written in 1988, is told from Medea’s point of view, recounting how she fell in love with Jason and then abandoned her home to help him fulfill his ambitions. It was my first encounter with the story of Medea, and for the longest time, I didn’t realize that people actually though Medea was the villain of the story. Re-visiting this book after almost thirty years, I found the story just as engaging, but I think I was even more outraged by Jason’s callousness this time around and more aware of what a strong feminist statement it was to make Medea the hero of the story.

Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher– I’m a sucker for an epistolary novel and this was was a lot of fun. Breezy, irreverent, and hilarious, this novel tells the story of Professor Jason Fitger’s attempt to hold it together as his life and his department falls apart. The story is told via letters that Fitger writes, most notably recommendation letters in which he perfectly displays the art of damning with faint praise. This was an enjoyable book – slight and crusty with a big heart beneath.

The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunther – Something about rounding the corner of 40 and realizing that even though I’m still breastfeeding, I’m rapidly approaching middle age and all that that means for a female… so I picked up this book in hopes of some insight into what might be in store for me physically in the next ten to fifteen years. I have to say this book was not entirely helpful. Gunther says again and again that the research on menopause is scant and not terribly reliable and then blames the patriarchy for our limited understanding. She points out that in a society that only values women for their ability to breed, menopause essentially makes them irrelevant. That is the “Manifesto” part of the book, and while I agree it is enraging, there is a perhaps more rhetoric than useful information to be found here. My main takeaways: excercise, healthy eating and giving up smoking are the only things proven to alleviate the symptoms of menopause.

Five Little Pigs by Agatha Christie – A Hercule Poirot novel, this is one of her more straight forward mystery novels, but still charming and intriguing nonetheless. I had an idea of who did it, but not of the how. I have an affection of Agatha Christie novels and like to read one every so often for that blanket of familiarity that a cozy mystery can bring.

A Holiday by Gaslight by Mimi Matthews- A sweet romance novella by a new to me author. I love a good romance novel, but there are many out there that are not to my taste. I like it when authors write novellas because then I can get a sense of their style without investing in a whole book. I really enjoyed this novella which tells the story of Lady Sophie Appersett who breaks off her engagement to business Edward Sharpe because she thinks they will not suit, much to Sharpe’s dismay. Sharpe very much wishes to marry Lady Sophie, but isn’t quite sure how to navigate the anodyne rules of polite society. Matthews prose is not too modern and her story was full of lovely period details. There was just enough angst to make my heart ache a little bit, and the characters were smart enough that I did want them to end up together in the end. I’m encouraged to read one of Matthews longer novels.

Books Read in January 2022

A good mix of things to kick off the year!

Wintering by Katherine May (5h 33m) – I first heard about Katherine May last year in a really beautiful episode of On Being . I was deep in the misery of distance learning and having little kids at home and it was hard, but something May said really stuck with me. He own son was having difficulty in school and she was faced with the choice to keep him in school, or to take him out and try to find a different path. She said:
“And I felt very, very strongly that although I’d never intended to be a homeschooler and that I really didn’t want to — I wanted my time — that I knew that if I didn’t take him out of school at that moment, when he was in such extreme distress, that I would be teaching him a very, very bad lesson for his future, which is that your suffering is not relevant and that you must just put your head down and carry on and tamp down your feelings.“
And what really struck me was this idea that how we treat our children, how we value their experiences in the world, can in some ways teach them more about self awareness than all the words we can string together. One of the central ideas in Wintering is about allowing yourself times of rest and quiet so you can really focus on what your mind and heart and feelings want to tell you that you need. I think it’s a good reminder.
I highlighted so many quotes in this book, but a few of my favorites:
“Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible.”

“I’m beginning to think that unhappiness is one of the simple things in life: a pure, basic emotion to be respected, if not savoured. I would never dream of suggesting that we should wallow in misery or shrink from doing everything we can to alleviate it, but I do think it’s instructive. After all, unhappiness has a function: it tells us that something is going wrong. If we don’t allow ourselves the fundamental honesty of our own sadness, then we miss an important cue to adapt”

“The starkness of winter can reveal colours we would otherwise miss.” – I love this reminder so much. When I go hiking in the summer, everything jumps out at me and I don’t have to look to hard for colours. But in the winter, every tiny flash of evergreen, and every tiny berry pops against the grey of bare trees.

“… we are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear, a long march from birth to death in which we mass our powers, only to surrender them again, all the while slowly losing our youthful beauty. This is brutal untruth. Life meanders like a path through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time they grow again.”

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo read by Elizabeth Acevedo and Melania-Luisa Marte – This YA novel in verse tells the story of two girls, one living in New York, one in the Dominican Republic, who discover that they are sisters in the wake of their father’s death. I thought how the book handles themes of loss so poignantly. At a grief group, where people talk about loss, one of the girls says, “If we lost, did God win?” Such a thoughtful yet painful thing to ponder.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottleib (hard copy) – Gottleib, a licensed therapist, has written a book that is part memoir, part self help book. Through telling about her own experience going to therapy following a break-up, as well as recounting her experiences with her patients, Gottleib provides an insightful view from the therapist’s chair. I’ve been to therapy before, and I found it fascinating to read what goes on in the mind and craft of a therapist. Or at least this particular therapist. I particularly liked how she distinguishes between counselling and therapy for her patients. The former is when they want advice, the latter is for when they want self-understanding – I think getting to a point where you are looking for the latter rather than the former can be a very brave thing to do. A lot of wise thoughts, but here are a few:
“Uncertainty, I’m starting to realize, doesn’t mean the loss of hope – it means there’s possibility.”
“Every decision [humans] make is based on two things: fear and love.”
“Just because she sends you guilt, doesn’t mean you have to accept delivery.”
A realization about her break-up: “… I was reluctant to give light and space to the triumph, still spending more time thinking about how I’d failed rather than how I’d freed myself.”

Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood – I got this book as party of my book group’s secret Santa. I liked it in general, though the ending did throw me for a loop because I felt like the story was finally gathering momentum and then suddenly it was the last page. There is a certain obscure quality to a lot of Atwood’s novels where sometimes I feel like I have to work pretty hard to peer through cobwebs to see what the twisty turny story really is. I was pretty amused by all the references to “nose cones” and I thought that Atwoods’ future actually feels pretty close.
“Crake had nose cones for them too, the latest model, not just to filter microbes but to skim out particulate.” I laughed ironically when I read this line as I was in the midst of trying to find KN95 masks for everyone during this phase of the pandemic.

A Rogue of One’s Own by Evie Dunmore – this was a delightful and fun romance novel. It is the next in a series about a group of suffragettes in Oxford. In this book, the heroine Lucie has bought a newspaper in order to further her agenda, but her childhood friend/rival seemingly is trying to thwart her attempts. Like Dunmore’s previous book, the dialogue was sharp and snappy and there was just the right amount of groveling in the end to make my heart swoon. It’s also refreshing how Dunmore challenges a lot of the character and plot conventions in historical romance. I’m excited for the next book in the series to come off my holds shelf at the library.

Books Read in November and December 2021

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, read by Frankie Corzo– I do love a gothic novel, but this book went from gothic to unhinged supernatural and it wasn’t really my thing.

The Making of Asian America by Erika Lee – (11h, 39m). This book traces the history of Asian Americans in America, from indentured servants brought to Latin America from the Philippines in the 16th century to today. I have to admit that my knowledge of Asian history is embarrassingly scant, and this book, while dry, was really eye-opening as to the scope of the Asian American experience. The term Asian encompasses such a wide range of countries and ethnic groups that it is only superficially practical a term. Lee really lays how how different the immigrant experience and motivations are for the people from each country of the Asian continent. One fact that struck me was when Lee points out that census data shows that Asian Americans are “over-represented at both ends of the educational and economic spectrum.” I think many Another sobering thought was how Asians were often the target of miscegenation laws; to think that as recently as fifty years ago, there were states in which I could not have married the Husband.

4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman – (4h 1m) I thought Burkeman had some really great thoughts on how we decide how to spend our time, 4000 weeks being roughly the average human life span. He posits that in acknowledging that time is finite, we can give ourselves the grace to be decisive about what we do with it. One quote that particularly stood out to me: “Everyone seems to agree that if you embark on a relationship when you secretly suspect you could find someone better, you’re guilty of settling, because you’re opting to use up a portion of your life with a less-than-ideal partner. But since time is finite, the decision to refuse to settle… is also a case of settling, because you’re choosing to use up … your limited time in a different sort of less-than-ideal situation.”
For someone who suffers from FOMO, this idea that there are many good choices and you should spend your time living the choice rather than choosing… it’s hits close to home. Not that one should make bad choices just to move on with life, but rather indecision is a form of settling as well.

The View Was Exhausting by Mikaella Clements and Onjuli Datta read by Tania Rodrigues – Breezy Hollywood romance about a British Indian actress and a fake romance that might not be fake after all. This book was full of the usual glamour and glitz of a movie star life, but also the harsh realities of being a woman of colour in an industry dominated by white men. As swoon worthy as I found the lush description of luxury, I really loved the more intimate domestic parts of the book where the main character returns to her roots.

The Salt Path by Raynor Winn– (3h 3m) Winn discovers that her husband is terminally ill and then days later, they lose their house and farm in a frustrating legal battle. Left without a home, they decide to walk the South West Coat Path in England, a 630 mile trail. This book, like Wild, made me yearn to take a backpacking trip on my own – something about reading about inexperienced backpackers undertaking an epic journey makes the whole endeavor seem possible for me.

How Lucky by Will Leitch – (4h 53m) This novel is told through the point of view of Daniel, a 26 year old who is confined to a wheel chair due to a debilitating neuromuscular disorder. The plot centers around Daniel’s attempt to solve a mystery surrounding the disappearance of a college student, along the way enlisting the help of his best friend and his home health aid. Daniel’s voice has a certain prickly charm and humour that I really enjoyed. At the same time, I was very much aware that I was reading a novel about a disabled character written by a fully able author. Not that I thought the book inauthentic, or that writers can only write their own experience. Rather it made me want to seek out books written by authors with disabilities because I think diversity should not just be about what I read about, but also whose work I’m reading.

Hector and the Search for Happiness by Francois Lelord, translated by Lorenza Garcia, read by James Clamp – The Husband had watched a movie based on this book and liked the movie quite a lot. I found the book rather pithy – the title pretty much sums up the plot – but I did enjoy the characters that Hector met along the way.

The Seamstress by Frances de Pontes Peebles – Novel about two sisters from the interior of 1920s Brazil. Orphaned, they live with their aunt who trains them to be seamstresses, but then one marries into a wealthy family and the other is taken into a band of bandits/revolutionaries. Their lives unfold with a tension that mirrors the political upheaval of early twentieth century Brazil. There was something sweeping and cinematic about this book; it’s the stuff that epic Oscar winning historical costume dramas are made of: strong female characters, elegant locales contrasted with gritty back country, big historic moments, secrets and lies. It felt good to sink into this novel and while it was slow to start, the last third was gripping.

Billion Dollar Loser by Reeves Weideman – (6h. 33m) Weideman’s book tells the story of WeWork, and more specifically how WeWork’s CEO and Founder Adam Neumann managed to build an office sharing company incredibly quickly by selling investors on an idea that had an almost mystical and ideological allure, even though the reality of WeWork was built on very shaky ground and even more shoddy workplace practices. Reading this book made me realize how empty the idea of capitalism can be when charisma can bring in investors even when a company and its founder are clearly unbalanced. Of course hindsight is 20/20, and perhaps there was something incredibly appealing about the global community Neumann and his wife were trying to build especially at a time when so many start-ups were trying to create businesses that were based on virtual communities. In the book, Weideman quotes another co-working CEO who says, “You get to the question of, is that what capitalism is supposed to do?… One way to ask this question is, in the system we have set up, do the people who were successful reflect the values we want?”

Books Read in October 2021

Much delayed post, but there were a lot of books read in October. I think quitting Facebook has really helped me boost my time spent reading:

The Riches of this Land: The Untold True Story of America’s Middle Class by Jim Tankersley – I heard Tankersley interviewed on Fresh Air and immediately wanted to read his book. He was the first male journalist I heard talk seriously about the child care crisis in this country, particularly during the pandemic. Most of the time when you hear people talking about the childcare crisis in this country, it’s a woman. Moreover, when male journalists talk about the childcare crisis I find they often treat it like a minor problem among a sea of problems, but Tankersley fully acknowledged that the lack of affordable childcare in this country penalized women in way that it did not penalize men. Tankersley’s book is his exploration into how the idea of “middle class” in America has shifted through the years. What once a concept of, if not affluence, but at least of ease, is not longer that, particularly for women and underrepresented populations. Ultimately, he argues, we (particularly white men, he points out baldly) in this country need to recognize that there is enough to go around, and we have to work together to create policies that benefit everyone, not just those in the top income brackets. I thought it a very good read. He also had the sweetest most eloquent tribute to his dog in the acknowledgements; I seriously teared up reading it.

The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton, read by Kevin R. Free – Hinton spent thirty years on Death Row for two murders that he didn’t commit. Eventually Bryan Stevenson at the Equal Justice Initiative helps him win his freedom. I don’t think that’s a spoiler… the story of how Hinton finally got released is nail-bitingly suspenseful. Hinton’s memoir is an incredible story of hope and resilience in the face of a criminal justice system, and indeed a society, that is incredibly flawed and rank with prejudice. The book has surprising flashes of laughter as Hinton always seems to be able to find his faith and sense of humour even after going to some pretty dark places. This book made me angry in a lot of ways, but it also made me think about how we live both as individuals and as a larger society.

Hungry Monkey: A Food Loving Father’s Quest to Raise and Adventurous Eater by Matthew Amster-Burton – Amster-Burton is a food critic and writer and in this memoir/ recipe book details his efforts to feed his daughter Iris from first foods to pre-school snacks. There is something about this genre of dad memoir that feels to me a little disingenuous with its breezy, befuddled-dad tone and Gen X bourgeoisie – though, I fully admit that there are aspects of the latter that I embrace myself. But anyhow, the recipes and food ideas were actually pretty good and I’ve written some of them down to try.

My Year of Meats by Ruth Ozeki, read by Anna Fields – I had read about Ozeki’s latest book and when it proved unavailable on Libby, I picked up this earlier book of hers instead. The novel follows two parallel stories of Jane a tv producer who is working on a Japanese television series on meat in the American household, and of Akiko a bulimic Japanese housewife who watches the show. The book is billed as a satirical look at the television and meat industries, and though I didn’t find it particularly humorous, I liked the way Ozeki tackled the idea of dismantling and institution from within. Content warning – it does feature domestic abuse, and that’s not something I generally like reading about, particularly in an audiobook.

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner -(4h 46m) In her memoir, Zauner, who is half Korean half Caucasian, writes about her attempts to connect with her Korean roots and deal with losing her mother to cancer. There is an H Mart up the road from me and I love wandering the aisles and seeing all the familiar food and kitchen stuffs from my childhood, and also all the different ingredients from other countries. The book is about so much more than just food, but Zauner describes Korean food so beautifully that I could practically taste it as I read. My favorite passage: “Sobbing near the dry goods, asking myself, Am I even Korean anymore if there’s no one left o call and ask which brand of seaweed we used to buy?” I have never cried in H Mart, but I definitely have felt that sense of being lost in a store full of familiar things.

Bright Ray of Darkness by Ethan Hawke -(4h 39m) The Husband picked up this book from the library, and I started reading the first chapter because I was intrigued by what kind of book a famous Hollywood actor could write and if it could be any good. And it was. Very good. Hawke’s novel follows the main character, a somewhat dissolute Hollywood actor, going through a very public divorce while making his Broadway debut and trying to be a good father and a good son. I loved all the details of theatre life – so familiar but from such a different perspective from my own. The Hawke’s writing manages to feel really focused even when his character isn’t, allowing the readers to really understand the character before he understands himself.

Northern Spy by Flynn Berry – (3h 40 mins) A taut novel about two sisters who get entangled with the Irish Republican Army and the choices they make when they decide who, and what, they want to stand for. I had picked this book up on the recommendation of someone from my book group. This was definitely a page turner that I stayed up late to finish.

What God is Honored Here? Edited by Shannon Gibney and Kao Kalia Yang – This is a selection of essays written by Indigenous women and women of colour about their experiences with miscarriage and still birth. Each essay was so raw and emotional that I found I had to read my way through the book slowly, giving myself space between each essay. I’ve had several miscarriages, and while on they are very common, I think that I go back and forth between thinking of it as simply a medical issue on the one hand, and on the other hand something that is gut-wrenchingly difficult to go through and process.

Magic For Liars by Sarah Gailey read by Xe Sands – A novel that combines mystery with fantasy when PI Ivy Gamble is asked to investigate a murder at The Osthorne Academy of Young Mages where her estranged sister teaches. I thought this book was a lot of fun and Ivy Gamble’s voice was such a great combination of world weariness and reluctant compassion. I’m not a huge fan of fantasy and worlds where you can just use magic as a way to get by illogical plot points, but I thought this book was pretty good.

Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About The Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans, by Michaeleen Doucleff – (5h, 31m) Doucleff is an NPR correspondent who wrote this book after visiting a Maya village and noticing how they seemed to parent in a way that she was completely unfamiliar with as a Western Parent. She visits three villages and this book is about what she learns from their different parenting styles. I will say there is a lot that is click-bait-y about this book in it’s proclamation that Americans are doing parenting all wrong and that these different cultures have it figured out. It seems to be the latest in a long line of “Americans are parenting wrong!” books. While I think there are some useful points in this book, ultimately there was something about the book that didn’t sit well with me. First of all, I don’t think there is any “one size fits all” parenting advice; there is an infinite variety of parent/child combinations and every one operates differently. Secondly, I found a lot of Doucleff’s examples to be incredibly gendered. She writes a lot about how these cultures raise kids that are helpful, but in most of the examples she uses to illustrate her points it is the daughters tasked with helping around the house and caring for younger siblings. Furthermore, most of the conversations she has with parents in these villages are with the mothers. Fathers are largely silent. So while I think there are valuable lessons to be learned in Doucleff’s book about allowing your child autonomy and encouraging independence, I felt that her book perpetuated a lot of traditional gender roles in parenting. Which is not a fault, per se, but I think in a year when women have been hit so hard by pandemic care-giving, and women’s rights are being taken away in the name of progress, it’s not a message that I find comforting.

Books Read – September 2021

The Wife Upstairs by Rachel Hawkins, read by Emily Shaffer, Kirby Heyborne, and Lauren Forgang– Jane Eyre is one of my all time favorite books, so this thriller, a contemporary take on the Bronte Classis was kind of my catnip. Mr. Rochester has always been one of my literary crushes and I sort of loved seeing a take on him that was not the Byronic hero. It actually made me see how the original Mr. Rochester could be seen as quite a toxic character. I listened on audiobook and it was gripping – I’ve decided that thrillers/mysteries are one of my favorite audiobook genres.

Severance by Ling Ma – I think I actually read this this summer. I read a hard copy borrowed from the library, so it’s a little hard to tell. This novel tells the story of Candace Chen, an office worker bee. When a global pandemic hits the world, she finds herself joining up group of people who are travelling to a mysterious destination, trying to stay healthy and alive and not dissolve into anarchy. Certainly a timely book to read during COVID times, the book made me think about themes of family and permanence and what we cling to when the world shuts down.

The Hopefuls by Jennifer Close, read by Jorjeana Marie– This novel is about a couple, Beth and Matt, who move to DC when the husband gets a job in the Obama administration. They meet another political couple, Jimmy and Ashleigh, and the two couples’ personal and political lives become entangled. A deliciously soap opera of a book. I really liked the glimpses of DC, and all the familiar landmarks and restaurants that were mentioned. It made me long for my youthful twenties and indoor dining.

The Other Bennet Sister by Janice Hadlow -(6h, 30m) – Hadlow’s novel tells the story of Mary Bennet, the oft ignored middle sister from Pride and Prejudice. Hadlow manages to write a book that feels very much of the same family as Austen, with the same dry wit and insightful observations of humans learning to live in society. I especially loved getting to see Lizzy and Darcy from an outsider’s point of view.

Four Hundred Souls ed. Ibram X. Kendi and Keish N Blain, written and read by various people– This book is a collection of writings that tell the history of Black people in America. Each writer takes on a five year span starting from 1619 – when the ship the White Lion brings “some 20-and-odd Negros” to Virginia – to the present day. I would hesitate to call it a collective history because so many of the chapters are about and individual experience, and I don’t think that any one individual can tell the history of the whole. The majority of the stories in this book are events or people that I’ve never heard about, and that makes me realize that the idea of “history is written by the victors” is incredibly problematic. Stories of oppression and injustice need to be told and not just a casualty of the dominant culture writing the history books.

The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson – (4h 25m) This novel combines two obscure bits of Kentucky history – the Pack Horse Library Project of the 1930s and the blue people of Kentucky. Cussy Mary Carter is one of the blue people- people with a genetic condition that makes their skin blue. She works delivering books to people in rural Kentucky who do not have access to them.

Hench by by Natalie Zina Walschots – (7h, 3m) This satirical novel is about Anna, an office worker who happens to work in the office of a Super Villain. As Anna rises professionally, she dismantles the mythology of Super Heroes. It’s a perceptive look at work place dynamics and how everything has a flip side and that flip side is very flawed and human. I enjoyed this book immensely.

Madeline’s World: A Biography of a Three Year Old by Brian Hall – This is a very detailed account of the first three years in the life of Hall’s daughter Madeline, beginning with her birth. It was fascinating and tedious… much like young children. Hall’s careful observation of Madeline’s every move, sound, gesture, and development certainly made me feel like I was missing out on a lot of my child’s life. But then again, if someone paid me to write a book about the minutia of a baby/toddler, I might be more observant. I’m somewhat kidding on that. My favorite observation in the book, in reference to his daughter’s preference for an image in a book over the real thing: “… it did unsettle me that she was thus learning, so early, to value the representation over the real.” I do think about this a lot… how to have children live in a world of real things. And who gets to define that?

Invisible Women:Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez – (8h 1m) Criado Perez is a journalist and advocate who focusses on women’s rights and issues. In her book, she details the many ways that women are left to a disadvantage because of a failure to account for them when data is collected using a male default. Reading this book made me so angry because by not accounting for the data of women, it creates a world that is unsafe, unhealthy and unfair for women. From crash test dummies to signs of heart attacks, from not valuing the unpaid work of women in GDP to not realizing the value of a diverse leadership, women are at a disadvantage and in many cases it is literally killing them. One of the most findings I found most upsetting was how the lack of gendered bathroom facilities in places with communal restrooms – ie. refugee camps, third world countries, etc. – creates an environment where women don’t feel safe going to the bathroom alone or at night because of the real possibility of being assaulted. “When planners fail to account for gender,” she writes, “public spaces become male spaces by default.” Such an eye opening read.

Summer Reading

I haven’t kept up with my reading journal, so here is the quick and dirty of my summer reading:

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.W. Schwab – Time bending novel about a woman who makes a deal with the devil to live forever. Or, rather, she asks for more time in life and is then given the dubious gift of eternal life, only she also does not remain in people’s memories. Absorbing, but the story didn’t quite go where I wanted it to go.

You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar. Audio book read by the authors – Ruffin and Lamar, who are both Black, recount stories of some of the racist incidents they’ve had to live through. Their experiences run the gamut from ignorantly well meaning to malicious and unkind. It’s a mix of funny, sad, and infuriating. It really made me wonder if it was possible to live more colour consciously in a way that is sensitive to everyone.

Hamilton the Revolution by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter – These are the annotated lyrics for Hamilton interspersed with essays on the creative process of the musical. Hamilton fever continues in our house – except for the Husband who calls it “insidious” – and the theater geek in me loved reading about the journey of getting Hamilton to stage.

Midlife: A Philosophical Guide by Kieran Setiya – This book was recommended to me after I lamented the dearth of books about being middle aged. As I progress firmly into my 40s, I find I’m having a somewhat existential crisis about aging and life, and it’s just not something that the media likes to talk about. Setiya doesn’t really say anything new, but he does present his thoughts on fulfilment in life through the prism of philosophical thought. The takeaway – savour the journey, not the destination.

Hidden Valley Road by Robert Kolker – Kolker’s book tells about a family where six of the twelve children were diagnosed with schizophrenia. It’s an absolutely engrossing history. Sad, but ultimately hopeful.

Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum, PhD. – Classic book about race in America. I really appreciated that Tatum has, since the original publication, added an entire section in the book devoted to other underrepresented groups and the struggles that are unique to each of them. For as false a construct as race is, it certainly is a powerful one. The other mind blowing idea for me was Tatum’s discussion about hiring practices – she writes that when hiring employers need to re-examine what they mean by a “best” or “most qualified” candidate. Often the things that tip the scale are the result of privilege and opportunity. She challenges the idea that there can be a “most qualified” candidate. Because any candidate that meets your job requirements are qualified. Having additional experience does not make someone moreso.

The Glass Kingdom by Lawrence Osborne – novel about a woman who is stuck in Bangkok after swindling a large amount of money. There was something meandering in the post-apocalyptic tone and style that really lacked momentum for me.

Murder on Cold Street by Sherry Thomas – the next in Thomas’ Lady Sherlock series. I always enjoy her writing, even if I find the plotting a little obtuse.

Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo read by Adjoa Andoh – Novel set in Nigeria about a couple, Yejide and Akin, whose marriage is challenged by traditional expectations, pride, and their inability to have a child.

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee – Novel about a poor Korean family in the early 1900s who emigrates to Japan and the story about their lives and the lives of their children. I had often heard this book touted as a “epic saga” yet the book didn’t have that kind sweep that I would have expected. It has a much quieter power to it, in it’s story of humble hard work and perseverance. But then again, who says that “epic” stories are reserved for people who die in glory on battlefields? I’m realizing that the story of the every day struggle it takes to put food on one’s table, to resist when rich men come calling, to just do the right thing… these stories are as much the backbone of history as any battle.

The Duke That Didn’t by Courtney Milan – Romance novel set in a small English town where a half Chinese duke tries to win the hand of the woman he loves. I love how Milan can write a totally absorbing romance set in England where the characters are Chinese, and this bit of diversity is a casual and important detail, but not a THING.

Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson – In this autobiographical novel in verse, Woodson recounts her childhood bouncing from Ohio to South Carolina to New York. I was really drawn in by her story and the story of her family, and how even the smallest things from childhood can be indelible.

The House on the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune – I loved this book so much. This novel tells about Linus, a case worker who inspects government run orphanages for magical children. He is sent on a mysterious assignment to an orphanage on the shore and there meets the predictable assortment of “more than meets the eye” children. Yes, the story is a little familiar, but Klune has written it with so much wit and heart.

She Said by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, read by Rebecca Lowman – The New York Times journalists who broke the Harvey Weinstein story recount the story behind the story. So utterly fascinating and repulsive. The drama behind getting the story was nail-biting. Between this book and Bad Blood (about the Theranos scandal), I am beginning to feel like the lawyers behind the scenes in many of these cases are just as abhorrent.

Mrs. Martin’s Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan – Charming romance about two elderly ladies who work together to exact revenge on a very disreputable young man and fall in love along the way. One very rarely sees romance novels featuring older couples, and I loved that aspect of this book.

Parenting Outside the Lines by Meaghan Leahy – I’m a big fan of Meg Leahy’s parenting column in the Washington Post. In this book, she encapsulates many of the principles that form the backbone of the advice that she gives. My big takeaway from this book is that parenting is hard, but I, as the grown up, have to be the bigger person. “Never ever, ever wait for your child to be more mature than you,” she writes. So the best way to parent, she says, is to lead by example, be flexible, be open, and be kind.

Memorial Drive by Natasha Trethewey– Trethewey’s memoir tells the heartbreaking account of how her mother came to be murdered by an ex-husband.

White Tears/ Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color by Ruby Hamad – Hamad argues that white women perpetuate the oppression and dehumanization of underrepresented people while asserting themselves in a male dominated world often by playing the “damsel in distress”. Hamad’s point is that white feminists don’t necessarily want a more equal society for everyone, just one where they have the same amount of power as men. Her ideas are certainly incendiary and rather unforgiving, but the idea of one oppressed group rising in society at the expense of another does resonate with me. I’m not sure that I buy everything she says, to be honest.

Big Cotton: How a humble fiber created fortunes, wrecked civilizations, and put American on the Map by Stephen Yafa – a survey of the history of cotton, primarily focused on America and Europe. A little meandering and lacking in first hand research, but nonetheless fascinating. The environmental and social toll of producing cotton has made me rethink denim.

And With The Kids:

Eye by Eye: Comparing how Animals See by Sarah Levine – picture book that explained how eyes worked and how different animals’ eyes are adapted to best serve them. This was a great informative and engaging picture book – I felt like I really learned a lot from it. There are several books in the series, and they are all excellent.

Baker’s Magic by Diane Zahler- This was our read aloud Chapter book this summer. Charming and full of fun details. About an orphan who bakes magical creations and a quest to save a Princess and bring back the trees.

One Crazy Summer (audiobook) by Rita Williams Garcia, read by Sisi Aisha Johnson – read with a lot of wit and character. Book about three Black sisters who are sent to Oakland to spend the summer with their mother. The spend the summer navigating the Bay Area, their mother’s lack of affection and the Black Panthers.

The Wolves of Willoughby Chase (audiobook) by Joan Aiken, read by Lizza Aiken – adventure story of an orphan and her cousin as they flee an evil guardian and try to restore order and good to their lives.

Books Read in April 2021

A lot of audiobooks this month. Some really fun and fluffy reads and some reads that made me think about economic inequities and how does one get ahead in life.

Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyrou, read by Will Damron – Engrossing and fascinating story of Elizabeth Holmes and her fraudulent biotech startup Therenos. The whole story of how Holmes became a Silicon Valley darling through brazen lies, cover ups and threats had me riveted. Then the book gets into how Carreyrou, a Wall Street Journal reporter, pursued the story, and the book ratcheted up to a whole other level of suspense and intrigue. I read this shortly after I read Rutger Bregman’s Utopia for Realists, and I found really compelling the contrast between Bregman’s advocacy for a 15 hour work week, and the intense and unhealthy pressure of Silicon Valley.

Bringing Down the Duke by Evie Dunmore – 5h 14m. Fun romance novel about suffragette and scholar Annabelle Archer and the Duke that she targets in order to further the women’s movement. The plot was forgettable, but the characters were really fun and well written. The Duke of Montgomery is my romance hero catnip – the stiff do-gooder who is desperately trying to do the right thing when the “right thing” is to not fall in love. A la Mr. Darcy.

The Dutch House by Ann Patchett, read by Tom Hanks – This book was vaguely on my To Be Read list, but then I saw that Tom Hanks performs the audiobook and I immediately put it on my Read/Listen Now list. The novel, about the children who are left behind when their mother leaves them, thoughtfully explores what we call home and the people we let into our lives. Hanks’ narration is breezy and casual and curious – his approach is more of reading the book aloud and discovering it with the listener, rather than trying to dramatically bring the story to life.

How to Eat a Peach by David Chang with Gabe Ulla – 6h 8m. Memoir by the chef behind Momofuku. I put this book on hold after hearing an interview with Chang on Fresh Air. In his memoir, Chang talks about his rise to the top of the food world and the sense of urgency and drive that kept him there. He is also really honest about the racism and classism in the food industry – how pasta, for example, is expensive and “fancy”, but noodles are expected to be cheap.

In Five Years by Rebecca Serle – 3h, 26m. A “what if” novel about a young lawyer Danni who gets a glimpse of her future – literally she wakes up five years in the future and after a few hours returns to her present – and then spends the rest of the novel wondering how she gets there. This book was a little unexpected for me. But, of course, the future often is.

Block Chain Chicken Farm by Xiaowei Wang – 5 h, 39m. I can’t remember how this book ended up in my holds list, but it was a fascinating read. In a series of essays, Wang explores how technology, globalization, and capitalism has affected rural China. In doing so she really makes a case that the idea that rural culture is backwards and urban living, specifically Western urban living, is the ideal is quite dehumanizing for much of China’s population.
“Metronormativity fuels the notion that the internet, technology, and media literacy will somehow “save” or “educate” rural people, either by allowing the to experience the broader world, offering other livelihoods, or reducing misinformation.”
Technology must be adapted to the people that it should serve, not the other way around. But a lot of technology these days is designed around a very homogeneous user – for example, if someone in rural China doesn’t know pin yin (a method of transliterating Chinese characters) a lot of technology is unavailable to them. A very thought provoking read. (Also – can someone explain blockchain to me? I feel like there was a whole section of the book I didn’t quite understand.)

Nomadland by Jessica Bruder, read by Karen White – Bruder follows the lives of RV and van dwellers – modern day nomads, many of whom were forced into the wandering life in their middle ages (and later) because of life circumstances. Picking up jobs where they can – at Amazon factories, at campsites, farms – these migrants have learned to build a life for themselves as fewer and fewer Americans can afford to retire. Bruder’s book really challenges the idea that we are sold whereby if you work hard you can save up to retire comfortably. The people that Bruder meet meet life with creativity and resilience and surprising hope. It’s a sympathetic, yet unsentimental look at life on the road.

Reading with the Kids:
Prairie Lotus by Linda Sue Park. Read aloud with the nine year old. When Park, who is Korean-American, was little, she often would imagine that she was Laura Ingalls best friend, even while recognizing the racism of the Little House books. Prairie Lotus was her attempt to reconcile that conflict. The book tells the story of Hanna, a half Chinese girl who travels to the Dakota Territory with her father to start a new life in a new town. Park’s writing was filled with a lot of great details about frontier life and the people of that time and doesn’t shy away from issues of racism.

Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins, read by Paul Boehmer – While watching his two year old sister one day, Gregor falls down a chute in the laundry room and finds himself in the Underland, a world full of giant bats, snakes, rats as well as humans. Realizing this world might be the clue to finding his missing father, Gregor goes on a quest to find him. We listened to this audiobook on our way to and from school this month. While the plot was certainly engaging, I had a lot of anxiety over the idea of a twelve year old questing with a his baby sister strapped to his back. Also it’s one of those books where the point of the quest seems to be to kill off as many questers as possible… which is not really my jam.

Stargazing by Jennifer Wang – graphic novel. I’ve been trying to borrow more diverse books for my kids and this was one that check out for the nine year old. I decided to read it myself before returning. When Moon and her mother move in to the in law unit belonging to Christine’s family, the two Chinese American girls become friends despite their differences. A warm story about both having good friends and being a good friend, and the complicated feelings that friends can bring. I thought this was a lovely book.

Picture Books: Some that’s we’ve been enjoying this month
Toro Gomi’s simple picture books.
Brian Biggs Tinyville Town Gets to Work, about a town that builds a new bridge to solve a traffic problem.
Joyce Wan’s The Whale in My Swimming Pool, and The Bear in My Bed, two books about a little boy who finds large animals in inconvenient places. Sophie’s Squash by Pat Zietlow Miller, about a little girl who adopts a squash.

Books Read in March 2021

The Stationary Shop by Marjan Kamali read by Mozan Marno – Lovely lovely book about two teenagers who meet in a stationary shop in Tehran and fall in love. They are separated on the eve of their marriage and the novel tells about how their lives play out – the choices and non-choices that shape how our paths unfold. Sometimes I find coincidences in books elegant and sometimes predictable and clumsy. This book was somewhere in between – predictable yet elegant.

The Heartbeat of Wounded Knee by David Treuer – 16h, 15m. Treuer writes about the history of Indians in America after Wounded Knee, basically taking up where Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee ended, but also trying to break down the mythology of that book. He details the difficulties of integrating cultures and how crushing a dominating group can be. At the same time he wants people to understand Indians not merely by their history, but also by their present. “Less and less,” he writes, “do we define ourselves by what we have lost, what we have suffered, what we have endured.”

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London – 5h 10m. Contemporary romance novel about a plus sized blogger who writes a scathing post about a Bachelor-type tv program and then gets picked to be their next star. Although it is marketed as a romance novel, I find the whole reality tv Bachelor star idea inherently unromantic. Also, the book is not really about her finding love, but about her finding herself. I know a lot of people loved this book, and I really liked the premise, but ultimately I was pretty lukewarm about it.

Recipe for a Perfect Wife by Karma Brown – 4h 23m. This novel is about Alice Hale, an aspiring writer, who moves with her husband from Manhattan to a house in the suburbs. There is a parallel story of the previous owner, a 1950s housewife. Both women are struggling with achieving an ideal domesticity, something that is both appealing and suffocating to them.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig – 4h, 8m. The main character in this book tries to commit suicide and ends up in this purgatory-like library where the books are alternate versions of her life. I think I preferred Haig’s How to Stop Time over this book – while both books grapple with existential questions about one’s life choices, How to Stop Time was better plotted. This book felt a little too wrapped up in the idea of exploring alternative lives, and there was very little momentum to the story.

Fashionopolis: The Price of Fast Fashion and the Future of Clothes by Dana Thomas – hard copy. Thomas looks at the impact of the clothing industry on the economy, the environment, and the people who make our clothes. While the effects of keeping up with our insatiable appetite for clothing are pretty damaging, Thomas also explores how people and companies are coming up with kinder, more sustainable ways to keep ourselves clothed. Even looking at my closet, I can absolutely see how the fashion industry is so huge and pervasive. I wish that the solutions that Thomas highlights weren’t so high end. It seems that sustainable fashion – like so many other sustainable choices before us (Tesla, anyone?) – are only within the reach of those with money. The wasteful and poor quality clothes, the cheap stuff that doesn’t last – there is a market for it, and that isn’t something that can be solved with $400 eco-friendly jeans.

Holes by Louis Sacher – read aloud with the nine year old. I really enjoyed this book – it was clever, engaging and poignant. A hugely satisfactory read.

Books read in February 2020

A good month for reading – lots of audio books!

Dear Mrs. Bird by AJ Pearce, read by Anna Popplewell – Light hearted novel set in London during WWII, about a young lady who aspires to be a journalist, but ends up writing for a women’s magazine and secretly answering letters from readers. It was a light story, in that stiff upperlip British way where tragedy comes and goes but everyone manages to keep going with their lives.

Welcome to the Goddamn Ice Cube by Blair Braverman – 6h 39mins. Braverman is a dogsledder and journalist and in this memoir, she recounts her personal journey as a young adult as she moves from cold environment to cold environments. There was something really immediate about reading this book as we went through a cold, snowy snap – I kept thinking, “Well at least it’s not so cold here that the dog food freezes before you can get it from the boiling pot to the dog bowl.” I envy her bold sense of adventure and her fearless impulses, but at the same time, there were moments when I seriously questioned her judgement and some of her recollections it made me nervous for young women trying to assert themselves in a world that still wants to make them victims in so many ways.

Fleishman is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Anker – (hard copy). I enjoyed this book more than an other I’ve read in a long time. One day Toby Fleishman’s ex-wife just drops their two kids off with him and then goes AWOL. The novel follows Toby as he tries to juggle family, work, and love life while trying to figure out what happened to his ex-wife. I first hear about it on the Everything is Fine podcast, on an episode when they talked about how wonderful it was to read a book where middle aged women were seen as having an advantage over younger women. Books about midlife crises and suburban moms sometimes really grate on me; I often find them full of privilege and self indulgence. But for some reason this one really resonated with me. I felt so understood from the moment in the first chapter that the main character says:
“I was now what was a called a stay-at-home mother, a temporary occupation with no prospect of promotion that worked so hard to differentiate itself from job-working that it confined me to semantic house arrest, though certainly I was allowed to carpool and go to the store.”
I think this book perfectly captures the ridiculous yet heartfelt angst of trying to get through life as an adult, the confusion of waking up one day in a life that you don’t quite understand, even though you feel like you did all the right things. This book was one of those “neglect your children for an afternoon so you can finish it” experiences for me.

A Rule Against Murder by Louise Penny – 7h 49m Book four of the Inspector Gamache series. I wasn’t entirely convinced about how the mystery itself played out, but I really enjoyed the way Penny gradually reveals characters and their backstories. I’ve been working my way through this mystery series. There is a certain laconic pacing that makes for slow reading, but that is part of the reason I find these books such a comfort read.

The Good Neighbor:The Life and Work of Fred Rogers by Maxwell King read by Levar Burton – I really enjoyed listening to this audiobook. Growing up, we didn’t have a television until I was seven years old, but I do remember watching some of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. I remember actually being quite unnerved by the puppets. Hearing about how Fred Rogers came to create his famous television program and the philosophies behind his work, made me think about the choices I myself make with my children, particularly this pandemic year where we are re-thinking what we want as an educational experience for our children. Rogers’ insistence that a child’s emotional well being should be prioritized above learning numbers and letters, helped me tamp down any anxiety I might have over a “missing year” with the schools being closed.

Utopia for Realists by Rutger Bregman, read by Peter Noble – I tend to be left leaning, no surprise there, so a lot of the ideas presented in this book by the Dutch historian and writer are kind of my catnip. Universal basic income, open borders, fifteen hour work week, etc. I mean this book is pretty much preaching to the choir here, though I do appreciate knowing that Bregman presents research to show that such things are actually beneficial and not just pipe dreams. He also attributes the left’s inability to bring about change to their lack of radicalism, pointing out that Trump found a lot of support in the far right wing because his rhetoric was so outlandish. Bregman urges the left to be just as outlandish and crazy as the right – the anemic, polite posturing will not shift any needles. Food for thought.

Books Read January 2021

More books read than normal, but I think most of the were leftover from last month; the first three books I finished in the first ten days of the new year.

Disoriental by Negar Djavodi – 9h 51 m. The story of an Iranian family who flees to Paris and the journey of the youngest daughter to self discovery – finding her way as an immigrant and as a gay woman. This is one of those books that I started without reading the back cover – it had been on a list of recommended books in translation – and as a result I wasn’t quite sure where the book was going for a while. The book jumps back and forth in time and was a little slow to get started for me, but once the threads came together it coalesced into a really touching story of family and immigration and identity. I was really drawn to the idea the narrator struggles with how to find a place in a new country without losing her heritage: “Because to really integrate into a culture, I can tell you that you have to disintegrate first, at least partially, from you own”

The Mothers by Britt Bennett – 5h 18m. I picked this one up after reading the Vanishing Half, Bennett’s bestseller from last year. This novel is about three friends and the ebb and flow of their relationship and how friendships can unravel even while being intertwined. Absorbing story.

How to Eat by Mark Bittman and David L. Katz, M.D. -(hard copy, so no time tracking) I’ve long been a fan of Mark Bittman’s super simple and accessible approach to feeding ourselves. This book, taken from a New York Times column that he and Katz wrote, cuts through a lot of the buzzy food research to distill what we do truly know about healthy food choices. The takeaway: eat a diet primarily of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, beans and nuts. I liked how they really talked about the flaws in scientific research; most food news is so sensationalist and there are no magic foods. They also make the point that the standard American diet is so detrimental to begin with that even minor changes to replace processed food in one’s diet would be a marked improvement. Reading this book really simplified healthy eating for me.

On Being 40(ish) edited by Lindsey Mead – a collection of essays about… being 40 (ish). Some of the essays spoke to me more than others. The existential angst of privileged people (of which I am sometimes guilty) gets a little tedious to read sometimes. But some standouts: Catherine Newman’s essay of friendship told through clothing was a beautiful tribute to her friend. Sophronia Scotts piece “I don’t have time for this” was just the anti-wallowing slap in the face that I needed. Jessica Lahey’s writing about mentoring at risk youth had some good lessons about connecting and the importance of a moment. “If I’m present enough,” she writes of her students, “and empathetic enough, an attosecond can expand to contain multitudes, to encompass their painful past and shape our possible future together. ”

The State of Affairs by Esther Perel – audio book narrated by the author. In this book the famous sex therapist examines cheating in an attempt to understand why people cheat, and perhaps lay out some lessons to be found in infidelity. She examines the motives and emotions behind people who cheat and people who have been cheated on and people who have been cheated with. One thing she says, that really struck me, was that people these days don’t usually cheat because they are unhappy, but rather because they think the could be happier. Of course there was something a little titillating about reading a book that gets into the weeds of infidelity, but ultimately for me, it made cheating just seem like something that took a lot of mental and emotional work.

Love Lettering by Kate Clayborn – 6h 27m. Contemporary romance about Meg, an in demand hand-letterer and the uptight financier Reid who helps her get over her creative block. Sweet and funny. I thought Reid was a perfectly lovely hero in the Mr. Darcy mold. Actually I found him more interesting than Meg and at times I wish the novel weren’t in first person narrative so I could be hin his head more. (side note: why are so many fiction written in first person? It’s on my list to find some non-first person novels to read). The details about hand lettered signs and the stationary business were a fun deep dive.