Well it’s been an odd odd week. The sleep hasn’t gotten any better. At this point I don’t think it’s jetlag. I think it’s just revenge bedtime procrastination and the revenge is super working. Work has been in kind of a holding pattern, which has made me incredibly restless. I keep checking my phone for news. One day this week, I logged 12 hours on my phone. TWELVE. There were a couple nights when I couldn’t summon the will to go to bed, only finally turning in when my phone and table both ran out of battery. This is not good. And on top of that, the events foreign and domestic continue to be shit – I’m sure that doom scrolling was part of the 12 hours of battery draining screen time.
In and amidst all that, I made a list. A list of goals and aspirations for 2026. I’ve been brainstorming the list for a while, and last week I spent some time living with that list and seeing if it felt true to what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be.
As I was looking at the list, however, I felt that some of my goals were focused on the wrong thing. I think some goals and aspirations are focused on an end goal, but many are really about the process or the inherent pleasure of doing the thing. A few years ago, I read “Midlife: A Philosophical Guide” and he talks about how activities can be telic or atelic. Telic are activities with and end point; atelic activities are activities without an end point. This idea has stuck with me a lot. One of my biggest takeaways from that book is that as we enter the latter part of one’s life = and, let’s be honest, once you’re past your mid 40s, there are likely fewer years ahead of you than behind – we might not see the end point of everything we do, so perhaps there is value in focussing on atelic activities rather than telic ones.
So for example, one of the goals I had originally written was “Read 70 books.” Yet when I really thought about this goal, I realized that I didn’t want to read more books; I wanted to spend more time reading. If I just wanted to read more books, I could read shorter books; I could just read books that were easy and fluffy (which I do love); I could skim more books. But looking at my goal, I realized those things aren’t how I want to read. I want to read books that make me feel and make me think. I want to read books that are immersive and that spin a longer tale. I want to read books that tell good stories, fiction or non-fiction. I want to read books to learn. I want to read prose that sings, that I can savor. And these things, don’t mean more books. It means more time. I will never read all the books I want; I will probably die with a very lengthy TBR. But hopefully I will die having been enriched by the books that I do get to read.
Which is all to say, i think I’ve been going about some of my goals the wrong way. It’s not about what I want to accomplish, but about how I want to spend my time. I don’t want to do yoga every day so that I can check boxes off to have a streak – I want to do yoga every day because it feels good to move and stretch my body. I think sometimes when I make goals that are focused on hitting a number goal, I forget why I get enjoyment or growth or benefit from putting the thing on the list in the first place. In past years, I would say I want to do X Y number of times and then I would feel very disappointed not to get there. This year I want to flip the script – putting a number on certain goals is motivation to do it regularly, a reminder that these are things that fill my cup. It’s not about how many times I ultimately do the thing, but that I make time to do it.
So anyhow, here is my list of 2026 goals gentle aspirations. There are also things that I haven’t’ written out – mostly adulting things – not because they aren’t on my list, but rather because I feel like they are things that I do anyway, so they might not need special focus attention. Or they are things I don’t quite know how to articulate into a “goal”. Top on that list is that I would like to stop nagging the kids to do their chores. But, again, that is just the wearisome minutiae of day to day. And I think I wanted to focus on additive things and I don’t quite know what to add to my life in order for me not to lose my shit when my kids won’t pick up after dinner.
Anyhow, on to the list:
Physical Health:
–Take the stairs. Trying to incorporate more movement into my life, and this seems like a no brainer. I was talking to my cousins over the holidays and they said that being able to climb stairs is one of the first things that gets difficult as we age, but also that it’s really good exercise. So I’m going to take the stairs whenever possible.
– Daily yoga, with at least one 20+ minute session per week.
–Strength workout 2x a week. I know this is paltry, but I want to start somewhere, given that I’m past my mid 40s. I only have 5lb weights at home and want to get 7 or 10 lb weights to help with this goal.
–5 vegan dinners a month. This is a health aspiration, but also a creative one because I like the challenge and creativity of cooking vegan recipes that are new to us and which the family likes. (The 6 year old, always asks, “Is there chicken in this?” when I make dinner.)
–Set an alarm for bedtime and come up with a wind down routine. Sleep continues to be probably my worst personal health habit. But sleep feels so amazing. So I need to get myself there sooner.
–Find a PCP. This is probably second more egregious health deficit that I have. my gynecologist usually does my bloodwork and preventative tests, but I think I do need a proper PCP.
Family
–Date Night/ Activity with the Husband – Now that the kids can stay home on their own, I’m hoping the Husband and I will have more one on one time that isn’t at home in front of the TV. I think we do better when we have an activity to do together rather than just dinner, so I’m looking into some classes in the area.
–Go camping with the kids (and the Husband) – I would like to do a four night camping trip. I usually do three nights and I don’t feel like that is quite long enough to disconnect and reconnect.
–Road Trip. 2025 had a lot of international travel for us, so I think 2026 might be more in the realm of a family road trip.
–Go to the Philadelphia Flower Show. This is a big dream of the Husband’s and I would love to make it happen.
–Christmas at Home – after spending the past two Christmases in Taiwan, everyone has agreed that this Christmas will be at home.
–Weekly phone calls/photos to my parents – I’ve never gotten into the habit of calling my parents regularly. When we talk things tend to very often be about logistics – planning for trips, details with their rental, etc. However, on our trip to Taiwan, visiting my 100 year old grandfather, I realized that I want to know my parents better; I want my kids to know them better; I want them to know me better. This is somewhat hard for a variety of reasons that I probably need to unpack. But my family has been so supportive and I want to model good family relations for my kids as well.
–Family Game Nights, Family Reading Nights – mostly find ways to break out of the evening tv rut.
–Take more photos with the people I love and who love me. I realized when I was making a slide for my grandmother’s memorial service that I had only three pictures of her, and one of them was super blurry. While in Taiwan over the holidays, I tried to make sure to take photos with my grandfather and have my kids take photos with him – I think even when you can’t remember someone from your past, a photo can help you remember that you were loved.
–Set an alarm when I’m working to call the Husband to check in on my dinner breaks.
Social:
–Monthly Happy Hour with my Friends L and D.
–Monthly meet up with my friend K (who was my freshman year roommate!)
–Host one fun dinner party/gathering per quarter – Ideas for this- another soup party. Dumpling Party. Cookie Party. Invite another family for game night. Mom’s group reunion.
Work:
–Work ahead when putting calls and cues in my book. Put places calls in my score as we stage, so they are there before we move to stage.
–Come up with a timeline when I’m working on supertitles. And stick to it. I don’t like how last minute I am with my super title projects.
–Find more places to post when we are looking for interns. The past couple years we haven’t gotten a lot of people applying for our intern position. We’ve always filled the position with strong candidates, but I’d love to make more people aware of our internship because I think it’s a great program.
–Don’t Freak Out. Not really bloggable, but you might know about this if you’ve been following the arts news in DC. There is a lot of change happening for me at work. I’m going to try to keep focused and not freak out.
Home/Finance:
–Submit tax information to our tax person before March 31st.
–Track my spending. I’ve never done this, but I do want to get a handle on where our money is going. Maybe I’ll just start with one week.
-Monthly Financial meetings with the Husband.
–Declutter and come up with better organizational systems: Specifically the area under our console in the bedroom. My desk. The bathroom closet. My craft corner. The toy room and make it into a more usable guest room.
Self/Hobbies/ Mental Health:
–Less scrolling, more of the things below….
–Paint 26 pictures. I realized that 26 (as in 2026) is half of 52 (as in weeks in a year), so I thought a fun project to tie in to the year is to paint 26 pictures this year.
–Spend more time reading. I want to do this Classic Literature Challenge from the blog Tea and Ink Society.
– Write 52 haikus. This goal is about stopping to take time to notice things around me.
–Do the crossword puzzle every week. This is a goal to help me reduce my time scrolling. Also I like crossword puzzles.
– Write 64 Blog Posts. That’s one a week + 1 additional post a month. I think what I want this goal to be about is to be more disciplined in my writing. I would like to come up with a more regular posting schedule.
–Spend more time playing piano. learn some songs to sing with the family.
–Find time/routine for journaling.
–Go on 12 hikes. Take the kids and Husband with me on some.
–Visit ten museum, even if I have to pay.
–See 2 straight plays.
–Find a cooking project, TBD. Maybe bao again? Maybe croissants. I’ve done that once. Maybe revive my sourdough starter? Or some kind of stew?
Just for fun, here are three things that were on my list that I cut after contemplating what telic vs. atelic goals:
-Run 3 miles once a month. Okay, let’s be honest – I don’t love running. And now it is really cold outside. This is exactly the kind of achievement based goal that I realized didn’t serve me.
-Knit a hat – again, a telic goal that I feel like would just be a fail. I do have an enormous yarn stash that sits in my room (under that aforementioned area under the console table) and maybe a knitting project could be part of that decluttering. But putting a whole hat on my list seemed like an awful lot of pressure.
-Only pack meat for lunch if it is leftovers. This goes hand in hand with my desire to eat more plant based meals, but I realized mornings when I pack my lunch are really stressful times and this might just add to that stress.
Will I do everything on my list? I hope I can have regular progress at least. I read an interesting quote lately in the context of these yearly lists of goals – forgive me, I can’t remember where I read it, I think on some Substack:
“Failure is data.”
I think that’s a good way to look at when I don’t check off things from my 2026 list. Not doing something isn’t a sign of a weakness inherent in me; failure to is not objectively negative. It’s an opportunity to assess and see why things didn’t work, or if it even is something I want. If I don’t fail, I don’t have the information to move forward.
Grateful for:
-Fleece lined pants. The temperature has really dropped this week and will continue to do so. I had a conversation with a friend that went like this:
Me: What’s up with this weather. It’s so cold!
Friend: I think that’s called January.
Me: —
Which it’s true. It is January. I don’t know why I’m surprised that the weather is in the 30s. Anyhow, fleece lined pants for the win.
-Warm sunshine. Even in the bitter cold, the sun’s rays are still warm.
-That even though I messed up and booked my thyroid ultrasound for the wrong office, the people at the office I wanted to go to (because it’s five minutes from my house) managed to find a slot and get me in later in the day.
-My friend K. She came over for dinner and gave me a belated birthday card in which she had written the best message. We were college roommates and I love that we are still in each other’s lives, without judgement and without drama.
-My friend C – we had a lengthy coffee date of Saturday. I hadn’t seen her in a while and it was good to be able to be vulnerable for 90 minutes while sipping our hot drinks.
-That the 8 year old practiced piano. He does not like practicing piano. I bribe him with Switch time and he does it. I’m always glad when he does manage to practice because then I don’t feel like I’m throwing my money away on piano lessons.
-Free printing at the library. Our public libraries now have free black and white printing – up to 15 pages a day. We had to print some music for the 14 year old this week and it was so easy just to upload it online and then go to the library, swipe my library card and have the music printed. All for free. Well I guess my tax dollars and the cost of gas to get to the library.
-That the Chicago Bears had such a good season. Last night’s game was nail-biting and heart-wrenching. I don’t care much about football, but I do care about the Bears because the Husband cares about the Bears. The Bears had some magical moments during the game, despite ultimately losing. I know the Husband is disappointed that the Bears aren’t advancing, but this is the first season since I’ve known him that he has been truly hopeful for the next season. Being a fan is such emotional work.
Looking Forward to:
-MLK Day off with the family. We are going to go downtown to see a museum. Maybe in future years we can have a more service-oriented MLK Day.
-The 14 year old’s furniture arriving for her bedroom – bed, nightstand, and dresser. She can stop sleeping on a futon mattress. She can stop just shoving her clothes in the closet. And instead shove them under her bed.
-Walk with a friend next week.
-The 14 year old’s middle school basketball game. The first one is this coming week; the Husband will go to that. We can’t both go to the games because they happen at the same time as the bus drop off for the two elementary school kids. I’ll go to the home games. Last year I only went to one game and I want to go to more this year.
-Broadway Week! Last year the kids had a day off on a Wednesday in January, so we went to New York to see Hadestown. Well this year, we don’t have a mid week day off, but it is once again Broadway Week where tickets to select shows are 2 for 1, so as a birthday present for the 14 year old, I am pulling her from school and we are going to see Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Through New York). It wasn’t a show that was on my radar, but she loves the cast album for this show. I’m really excited! And train tickets for a Wednesday morning were less than $100 round trip. Something to look forward to in two weeks.
What We Ate:
Monday – Za’atar Roasted Tofu With Chickpeas, Tomatoes and Lemony Tahini from NY Times Cooking. I feel like this was very similar to the Masala Tofu and chickpea dinner I made last week, just with different seasonings, and made in the oven so it wasn’t as messy. Vegan.
Tuesday: Honey Adobo Chicken from NY Times Cooking. Taco Tuesday. This was actually kind of disastrous evening – one child made a really wise ass comment that was the last straw after a whole day of wise ass comments. I lost my shit and went into my room and proceeded to sulk and then fell asleep for three hours. When I woke up at 9:30pm, the 14 year old had fed the two little kids, cleaned the kitchen together, and put them to bed. I don’t deserve such a great kid.
Wednesday: Vegetable Soup and No-Knead Bread. A clean out the produce drawer affair. Vegan.
Thursday: Pork chops, steamed green beans and Greek Salad with Cannelilni Beans. Apple Pie. It was my late Father in law’s birthday so we had pork chops as we always do on his birthday. My friend K came over, but she is a vegetarian, so I added the Greek salad. She brought the apple pie. It was delicious.
Friday: Pizza (Take out) and movie night: Pride. It was my turn to choose the movie and I picked this 2014 movie based on the true story of a group of gay activists who, during the 1984 Miner’s strike in England, form Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM), raising money and awareness to help the miner’s. It is a predictably heart-warming movie – one of those earnest and funny British films full of wonderful performances (Andrew Scott, Imelda Staunton, Bill Nighy, and more), with an uplifting message of perseverance and connection. I loved it.
Saturday: We checked out a Taiwanese restaurant that I had just heard about. We had beef noodle soup, fried calamari, fried tofu, braised beef over rice, popcorn chicken, and tomato chicken over rice. It was quite a feast and did very much remind me of Taiwan. Afterwards we all got boba (tea for me and the 14 year old, brown sugar milk for the two little kids), and the Husband got a red bean smoothie, one of his favorite things he had in Taiwan, but which I’ve never seen before on a menu here in the States.
Sunday: Leftover (me), Sausage sandwich (the 14 year old), Tortellini with red sauce and Caesar Salad (the rest of the family.)
Did you make a list of goals/aspirations/intentions for 2026? Anything you took off your list? What service does your library provide that you think is wonderful? (Other than the obvious, books) For any of you directly coping with any of the awful things happening in our country, I’m thinking of you.