I’m sure you are thinking, “Diane, it’s February! Why would anyone want to read your Hallmark Holiday Movie recaps????”
Umm… I guess the answer is that the post has been sitting in my drafts folder for weeks, and if I don’t finish them now, I will feel even more silly finishing them in June. So yeah. But also… I just realized that I can get a Hallmark binge pass through Hoopla with my library card, which, in addition to the awesomeness of being able to watch all six seasons of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, means that I can watch an huge-normous library of Hallmark holiday movies whenever I want. Ah-mazing. So maybe another recap of Holiday movies in June wouldn’t be so out of the question. I have a feeling, though, that I’m not that blogger and this isn’t a Hallmark movie blog. So I’ll probably spare you all that.
Anyhow, onward –
A Christmas Family Tree (2021)– Using one of those genetic tests, woman finds her biological father and is immediately embraced by his family. And the cute neighbor/family friend.
My catnip: None, really. We were at a hotel and this was the Hallmark movie that was on. Oh wait, Andrew Walker was in this one. I always like him.
My take: I liked that the romance was just one part of this movie, and that the relationship between the main character and her newfound father was also pretty central.
The ridiculous: I’m always surprised when people unexpectedly show up at other people’s doorsteps un expectedly? How do they know the person’s address??
Favorite bits: Andrew Walker.
A Sugar and Spice Holiday (2020): career driven Asian daughter returns home for Christmas. She has a big presentation due yet still agrees to participate in a Christmas bake-off competition with childhood friend.
My catnip: Asian leads
My take: So I straight up watched this movie because it was apparently one of the first Christmas rom coms to feature an Asian cast. (This movie came out on Lifetime.) I guess it’s good to know that movies featuring Asian families can be just as cliched and formulaic as movies with an all Whtie cast. This movie was fine.
The ridiculous: The Christmas bake-off was pretty ridiculous. Including a subplot about bribing the children who were the contest judges.
My favorite part: the heroine’s parents run a lobster bar. I thought that was hilarious and charming. My parent ran a restaurant when I was growing up too – it was not a Chinese restaurant, but rather a run of the mill family restaurant that served prime rib and burgers and what not.
Boyfriends of Christmas Past (2021): Career driven Lauren is visited by the spirits of past boyfriends who take her on a journey of her past, leading her to reflect on why she is still single.
My catnip: The 11 year old chose this one – she was really excited to see a movie with an Asian lead. Also – I am a sucker for a Christmas Carol adaptation.
My take: I thought the concept was actually pretty great – the visits by the boyfriends were funny – but Lauren was such an awful character that I ended up not liking this movie at all. She was just so mean to everyone around her. Which I guess was the point – redemption and all that – but I think there has to be something about that character that I want to like, but there just wasn’t.
The ridiculous: Lauren breaks up with all her boyfriends around Christmas time and never thinks to take that to her therapist to unpack?
My favorite bit: I thought that the best friend, Nate, was kind of cute. Bonus points for not being white. I think it’s a little out of touch when Hallmark couples always feature one white person, so it was nice to see a mixed race couple where neither person was white.
Holiday Road (2023) – 9 strangers stranded in Portland airport on Christmas Eve decide to rent a van to get them to Colorado in time for Christmas.
My cat nip: Road Trip Movie.
My take: I thought this was a pretty fun story – there were several story lines involved and I thought they were each touchingly cliche. We watched this for Family movie night and no one hated it. High praise, I know.
The ridiculous: When they got to Colorado, the van pulled up at a house that was covered in snow and decorated for Christmas, except the trees in the front yard were deciduous trees. And they were covered with snow! Like full on leafy green trees with snow on their branches. I know these films are shot in the summer, but come on!
My favorite bit: The storyline featuring the single mom and the crusty old man was my favorite bit – touching even though I expected each plot twist. Also – the couple from Hong Kong travel with a portable karaoke machine! I was debating whether this was to go under the “ridiculous” or “favorite” bit – and honestly it’s kind of both.
Not so Royal Christmas (2023)– Royal tabloid reporter snags an interview with and elusive Count of vague European country. But the truth is the real Count has gone AWOL and the “Count” is really the landscaper. Tabloid reporter and fake Count get close, canoodle, and do all sorts of Christmas-y things in the name of journalism and philanthropy.
My catnip: Royalty, Will Kemp as the leading man.
My take: I thought this was a charming twist on the somewhat cliched story of a Prince in disguise as a commoner. In this story, the commoner is disguised as the Prince.
The ridiculous: There seems to be a lack of journalistic ethics in this movie. Also the end scored high points in my “But they can’t just do that!” meter.
My favorite bit: Will Kemp. He’s just adorable. And he sometimes wears glasses which makes him even more so.
Ladies of the 80’s: A Diva’s Christmas (2023): A group of former soap opera stars reunite to film a holiday special. And oh yeah there’s a romance between the producer and the screenwriter. But that is totally back seat to the fabulous cattiness and comraderies of the women.
My catnip: I mean it’s there in the title – Ladies of the 80s – Morgan Fairchild, Nicolette Sheridan, Linda Grey, Loni Anderson. LONI ANDERSON!!!
My take: This movie is very much a good time, though I feel like a large part of that is because it brings together an amazing group of women. If, however, you did not grow up in the 80s, a large part of the charm of this movie might be lost on you. The plot was just a pretty thin excuse for getting these ladies onstage.
The ridiculous: Is this really how a tv special is made?
My favorite bit: Watching those ladies share the screen. The quips, the banter, the DGAF. May I be that awesome when I get to be that age.
Where are you Christmas (2023): Career driven Christmas cynic Addy returns home for the holiday. Christmas is annoying and inconvenient and she wishes Christmas away. The next day, she wakes up to find her wish has come true, and the world has been literally drained of colour – everyone is now black and white and no one remembers Christmas. She immediately regrets it and enlists the help of the local mechanic Hunter to help bring Christmas back.
My catnip: Michael Rady – I like him in all the Hallmark movies that I see. He’s got a “Man next door” air about him that I love.
My take: Okay, in the pantheon of whimsical, magical Christmas movies, I thought the premise of this one wasn’t terribly original, but having the non-Christmas believers be black and white and then burst into colour when the remember what Christmas was about – that was pretty beautiful and was one thing that set this movie apart. The other thing I really liked about this movie was that it was really thoughtful about the idea of “What does Christmas mean to me” and the divide between the people who believed in Christmas and those who didn’t. This movie didn’t feel like it could have happened at any other time of the year. Christmas cynics aren’t my favorite trope, but I really liked the way it was handled in this movie.
The ridiculous: Addy is in charge of marketing a Christmas Countdown app that has a Santa that tells you how close you are to Christmas. Let me tell you, this app is so annoying, I don’t know how anyone thought this a viable product.
My favorite bit: I loved all the bits when people changed from black and white to colour – it was just so well done.
Waking Up To Christmas (2023): Career driven woman electrocutes herself at the airport and wakes up to find herself living in a Christmas movie. She must
My catnip: Christmas movies about Christmas movies. I love that very meta trope.
My take: This was fine, if a little over the top and excessively Chistmas-y. I found the lead a little irritating in how adamantly anti-Christmas she was. Yes, yes, it’s all in part of the story, but it just made the end kind of not really believable.
The ridiculous: There is a character called Christophe Kringle. I mean I guess if you make a movie about living in a Christmas movie, it’s going to be pretty ridiculous. Also – when I tried to Google this movie, it came up under a different title – Just Another Christmas Movie. I have questions about that. Why would you release a movie under two names?
My favorite bit: The movie lampoons the genre perfectly with the dreamy widowed doctor with a precocious daughter, both of whom always appear out of nowhere ate the exact right moment.
Christmas on Cherry Lane (2023): Three couple celebrate Christmas on Cherry Lane.
My catnip: same sex couple – yay for inclusive story telling!
My take: Okay, I loved this movie – the way that all the storylines intersected was really neat. Spoiler alert – if you like This is Us, this movie might be right up your alley as well.
The ridiculous: The one couple is having their house renovated and when the movie starts, on Christmas eve, the kitchen is torn down to the studs. But their contractor says it will be ready for Christmas. And it is indeed finished by Christmas. What? That is definitely a contractor fairy tale right there.
My favorite bit: All those lightbulb moments when you saw how things were connected.
Checkin’ It Twice (2023) – Career Driven woman returns home to her small town for the holiday and meets hocky player who has recently joined her town’s minor league hockey team. Cute Hocky player is at a career crossroad, trying ot decide what to do with his life.
My catnip: Kim Matua whom I loved so much in 2022’s Ghosts of Christmas Always.
My take: I was pretty “meh” about this movie – everything about it seemed unoriginal.
The ridiculous: I feel like this movie was too bland to be truly ridiculous.
My favorite bit: I thought the two leads were very appealing, but other than that I was very lukewarm about this movie.
Round and Round (2023): Hannukah movie meets Groundhog Day. Rachel is stuck reliving the same day over and over again, including the meet cute with the nice Jewish boy her grandmother brings to the 7th night of Hannukah.
My catnip: I love a good Hannukah movie.
My take: I really liked this movie – probably my second favorite this year, after A Biltmore Christmas. It starts as kind of a gimmicky premise, but then as Rachel, the heroine, tries to break the cycle, there is some really thoughtful and hilarious plot twists. I also liked that this movie felt very holiday specific – this wasn’t just a cliched rom com that happened to be set during the holidays – Hannukah traditions were central to how the plot moved forward.
The ridiculous: I mean that whole wake up to the same day every day thing… but it’s the plot, so I guess I’m okay with it.
My favorite bit: Rachel’s dad is played by Rick Hoffman of the tv show Suits and he was a delight to watch. Also there’s a bit in a comic book store that is brilliant and hilarious.
So that’s a wrap on Holiday movies from 2023! I think that’s 21 movies all together. Whew. The movies this year seemed to me less diverse and more “Hallmark Formula” than last year, which was slightly disappointing. Well, we’ll see what happens next year! Only 9 more months until Hallmark movie season starts again!
