Another tech week approaches – the last one for 2024! I feel like I just went through tech week, and here we are again. I’m actually pretty excited for this one because the 12 year old is in the show that I’m working on. The logistics of the rehearsal carpool have been complex. We are carpooling with two other families, and it’s taken six adults and a spreadsheet to get these kids to rehearsals and performances.
Things I’ve done these past few days to prep for tech week:
– pick out my outfits for the week
– make a big batch of something to eat all week (the red lentil soup that J blogged about). Hopefully there will be enough for the 12 year old to eat too. Which reminds me I’ll have to pack snacks for her as well. She gets to the theatre at 4:30p and rehearses until 9:30p – I’m not sure when theatre kids eat dinner.
-paid bills. Inevitably during tech week, I forget to pay a bill or two, so I made a point to find the utility bills and pay them.
– made a batch of hard boiled eggs in the InstantPot for breakfast.
-bought the big container of yogurt. Actually I had my friend who was going to Costco pick it up for me. During tech week, yogurt is a complete meal.
-Take a shower. I feel silly putting this on the list, but sometimes I forget.
I still need to stock up on fruits and veggies and healthy snacks.
Tech week reminders for me:
- Eat well
- Sleep. No revenge bedtime procrastinating
- Limit the scroll cycle.
- Don’t drop the ball on life admin things. Find time for them.
- Hug the family whenever I can.
- Find time to go outside every day.
On not Christmas-ing. I haven’t been feeling the Holiday Spirit this December. It’s barely registering for me that Christmas is in two and a half weeks. Some of it is because the weather has been really warm lately. Some of it is because I’ve been really busy at work. And also because we’ll be travelling, we haven’t decorated or gotten a tree or put up Christmas lights. We’re taking a “The trip is the present” approach and not really doing Christmas presents. The little kids have been writing sad Santa letters: “Dear Santa, Don’t come to our house because we won’t be here.” Literally.
I think more than in past years, I’m realizing that Christmas is what we make it to be. If we don’t buy the presents, there will be no presents. If we don’t set up the mantel, the mantel will stay bare. It’s kind of interesting to opt out of all the Christmas things to see what we really hold meaningful, and what is just stress-ladened expectations.
What we have done, though:
-Tuba Christmas! Luckily this year Tuba Christmas coincided with the free day, so I was able to go with the whole family. As a lovely bonus, my cousin and my friend K came along too. My cousin was in town for work, and I didn’t think I would get to see her, but she came in a day early to spend Tuba Christmas with us. Afterwards we went for dumplings.
-Listened to Christmas music. The Husband has one play list that is 12 different versions of “We Need a Little Christmas.” That always makes me laugh. I’ve also been listening to choral Christmas music when I need something quiet and calming.
-Watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and Spirited. Spirited is becoming one of our “must watch” Christmas movies every year.
-Went to Longwood Gardens to see the Christmas displays. We didn’t stay long enough to see the lights, but we see trees and the trains. We also saw the new conservatory, which was beautifully bright.
What I’ve been missing:
-Going to church. I’m not the Catholic one in the family, but I do still like going to church with the family. Lately I’ve had to work on Saturdays (the Husband likes to go to Saturday evening mass), so I haven’t been to Mass with them. I’m missing the carols and the Gospel reading and the time to sit and think about what Christmas means.
-Hallmark movie binges. I’ve watched maybe two Hallmark Holiday movies this year, which if you remember my posts from last year, is pitiful. I did re-watch Biltmore Christmas, which might be my most favorite Hallmark holiday movie ever. SOOOOOO good and sweet and romantic and just the right tone of angst and longing.
-The house smelling like Christmas greenery. I don’t know if I miss having to get the tree and get out all the ornaments and decorate it, but I do miss walking into the house and being greeted by the smell of fresh pine.
-Advent candles. When we do find time to do advent candles, we aren’t super consistent with them, but I do like the ritual.
-Christmas picture books. I used to borrow 24 Christmas books from the library and we would read one each night in lieu of having an advent calendar. The Husband did borrow a stack of books and there are a few we can pull out from our own collection to read, but it hasn’t been the book flood it has been in the past.
-Planning a big Christmas meal. Though I did just do Thanksgiving…
What I haven’t been missing:
-The anxiety of Christmas shopping. I actually like thinking about and buying gifts for people, but it takes a lot of mental and financial resources to do it. I do feel a little bit guilty that I’m not making an effort to buy gifts, but I don’t have the bandwidth right now. Maybe after my show closes, I might run out and get a few things, or do some baking, but I’ve passed the window for ordering things online, and I think it actually makes gift giving simpler when there isn’t the infinite world of the internet available. We have talked about maybe having a few surprise gifts waiting at the house for when the kids get back, but it’s nothing like the four or five + stocking stuffers we usually do.
– Drive through Christmas light displays. We always tried to go to these on a weeknight and it always seemed like a bit of a mad rush. I do like Christmas lights; the other day I drove the long way home through a neighborhood with lots of lights, and that was nice.
-Trying to Christmas plan while in tech.
-Secret Santa or White Elephant gift exchanges.
I’m sure there are more things I’m forgetting happened during this season, but I clearly don’t remember them enough to miss them…
Some Bummer news– I don’t think I’ll be working this summer. I have a trip planned with the 12 year old that is in the middle of the opera season with the company I work for during the summer, and the one show that I was available to work has already been staffed. The lack of contract has hit me harder than I want to. It always is a little sad when I don’t get contracts, and it fills me with self-doubt (Did they not like me enough? Will I ever work with them again? Is there someone younger and cooler and better than me who got the contract?) Also often one gets work by returning to a place season after season, and if you miss a season, there’s not guarantee that there will be a slot for you the following season. (I had a really horrible experience with this at one company where I decided to take a summer off after I had my second child and they never asked me back again – the person who hired me literally told me that it wouldn’t be fair to my replacement if they couldn’t come back the following seasons.) I know I make the choice to be a freelancer but it makes me realize how little job stability there is with this job that I love. Because I can’t take PTO or leave to do things that I want, there are long term repercussions to not being available for work. Oh well, I’m reminding myself that my job is not more important than my family, and that this trip with my 12 year old is cooler than any job. I guess I’m just petulant that I can’t have it all.
Grateful for:
-My friend/college roommate K who I haven’t seen at all this fall, despite the fact that she lives in this area. But I texted her and asked if she wanted to come see the final rehearsal room run through of our show and she said “Yes!” I knew the 12 year old really wanted someone she knew to be there, and the Husband couldn’t make it since it was the same time as the 7 year old’s piano recital. K has a very full life – in addition to her full time job, she plays in a string quartet – but I’m grateful that she makes the effort to show up when she can.
-Not having to deal with car seats anymore. I’ve been having to drive carpool to rehearsals, which means putting four pre-teens in my car – three in back and one in front. The two little kids are still in booster seats, so I have to pull out the boosters every time I’m driving opera carpool. I’m very grateful that I’m just pulling out booster seats (which don’t have to be latched in), and not pulling out full on car seats which are kind of like wrestling damp ten ton octopuses. Also grateful that I can put one kid up front so that I don’t have to drive the van since my parking lot at work is the size of a postage stamp.
-Kind words and ketchup chips. One of the directors of our show is from Canada. She actually directed the first show I did the fall too. And before she left after the first show she asked if she could bring me anything when she came back for the second show. “Ketchup chips!” I said half jokingly. Well, she showed up for the second show with a bag of ketchup chips for me. How awesome was that? But also, this past week, both the directors of the show have each pulled me aside at one point to tell me how good the 12 year old is onstage. One of them even said, “I’m not saying this because you’re a staff member. She’s really very smart onstage.” I feel like one of those super critical stage moms because sometimes when I watch the 12 year old in rehearsal (and I try not to watch her too much) all I can see is when she’s not paying attention or goofing off or not coming in on the right beat of music. I’ve always struggled a little because I want the people I love to be perfect because I believe in them, and I tend to be more forgiving of the people whom I’m not as close to. Being told that my kid was doing well, was kind of an eye opening; someone was telling me that my kid was enough and that they saw good work happening- it made me realize that I should also be seeing her strengths this way as well.
Well, that’s the news from here. Hope everyone has a lovely week!
If you celebrate Christmas, how Christmas-y are you feeling right now? Have you ever had to install a car seat? What is your favorite Canadian snack?
KETCHUP CHIPS!!! Those are my favourite.
Ugh, I feel for you with regards to your next summer. I too would be feeling stressed out about it. I know it’s what you sign up for when you freelance but ugh ugh ugh.
The postal strike has definitely affected my Christmas spirit this year. It’s so weird not to be sending/ receiving mail. I didn’t realize how big a part of my holiday it is to get cards in the mail, but it’s really big. I feel a bit bad complaining because there are actual small business owners who are losing their livelihoods because of this, and I’m like “but no cards” – but we all have our own experiences, I guess.
The postal strike sounds so hard for everyone involved. I hope it gets resolved soon!
All-Dressed chips are my favorite. Ketchup chips are FINE, but all-dressed are DIVINE. Send me your chips, Canadian friends!
My mantra is that there will be no holiday magic if I don’t make the holiday magic, so I’m making the holiday magic DAMN IT!!! The tree and lights are up, the cards are bought, the advent calendar is being used, the cookies are in the process of being made. Am I procrastinating on gifts? I sure am. But guess who’s not fretting about it? ME. I’m not FRETTING.
Canada has the best chip flavors! I feel like All- Dressed chips are borderline BBQ chips, though. Yay for making your own holiday magic, Damnit!!!
I love ketchup chips (though agree with Engie that All-Dressed are my absolute favourite; I keep forgetting you don’t have those either).
I loved this post. The behind-the-scenes. The many festive things you have done + a list of things you aren’t missing. I think modern culture wants us to have it all and do it all and sometimes there are objectively fun/good things that we can just avoid doing and life runs more smoothly.
I’m sorry about the work contract; I love your perspective about the time with your daughter, but can 100% appreciate why it is anxiety-producing. Hope everything falls in to place soon. And yay for planned trips!
I agree that there are so. many. ways. society tells us to be festive and I’m realizing that just because everything sounds amazing and fun, to do it all won’t necessarily be fun.
I haven’t heard of the movie, spirited. I will have to check that out. I’ve been wanting to watch some Christmas movies with the boys but it’s tough to find something they both want to watch.
Christmas is coming so quickly this year with how late Thanksgiving was this year. I am traveling this week and was supposed to travel next week but that trip got rescheduled which I am so happy about. I feel pretty ready for Christmas but this year I created a shared wish list with my husband using an Apple note and that has helped because he will add things and buy things off the list. Sharing the mental load is sooo nice!
I hadn’t been going to church consistently until this fall when we joined a church in our neighborhood (and changed religions – from Catholic to Lutheran). I cannot talk about this on my blog because my parents don’t know and will be, well, devastated when they find out. I have really enjoyed church this fall because the boys are in Sunday school during church so I actually get something out of church and can enjoy the music. They have a massive choir and often have strings or a brass ensemble and it’s just such an all-around enjoyable experience. Eventually my parents will find out and I dread that conversation….
Going away for Christmas sounds wonderful. I would love to do that because we are not gift people at all!!
Ooh that switch does sound like it might be tricky to navigate. You know, when we got married, and were doing all the pre-marriage meetings with the Priest, we got on the subject of raising our children Catholic, and he said, it didn’t mean that the kids would need to be Catholic for life, but he thought kids should be brought up with Spiritual traditions so that as they get older they can go out and explore and find the spiritual practice that fits them. Having some kind of base, he thought would give them somewhere to start. As a non-Catholic, that really resonated with me.
I have a lot of thoughts here. Let’s see if I can corral them all.
1. I hope you like the soup. I LOVE THAT SOUP and the lemon is what does it for me and I doubt there will be enough for a week of dinners, but who knows, maybe you don’t eat as much as we do.
2. I’ve been slacking in the reading and commenting and posting, where are you going for Christmas? I hope that you have a FABULOUS time and that the kids remember it when they are older as their favorite gift ever rather than the year that Santa didn’t come. (They are old enough, they will LOVE IT.)
3. I’m so sorry about your summer contract. That seems really stressful. We have an acquaintance who is an Oscar Winning sound editor in films, and he never feels like he can say no to a film because if he does he worries he will never work again. So he works all of the time and never has time with his family and it sucks. My hope for you is that you have a summer off and that you LOVE IT and can somehow get unemployment benefits or something to mitigate the pain though somehow if you are a contractor I doubt it.
I know I’ve said this before but I adore Longwood Gardens and I wish I had known about it when I lived in Philly but that was pre-internet and I had no idea and only went when I was back visiting a few years later.
OK, THIS GOT ME. “I’ve always struggled a little because I want the people I love to be perfect because I believe in them, and I tend to be more forgiving of the people whom I’m not as close to.”
I’m going to process that for a few decades, because yeah, that’s me. I feel it with my daughter, but also my husband, my parents, my friends. I want them all to be perfect and it bothers me when they are not because I love them SO MUCH and why are the two things not related at all?
I am definitely in the Christmas spirit but I think it would be harder to feel that way if I didn’t have gifts to wrap/a decorated house. I sort of felt that way last year when I went on a trip the day after Christmas so we celebrated Christmas early/didn’t do anything much for Christmas day. It felt really weird!
The work contract situation sounds really tough! It’s for a good reason, but I would also be anxious about it getting resolved when I return!
This year has been an interesting time for us to figure out what we really want Christmas to be. I’ll say we are all a little sad about the lack of Christmas this year – my mother has found a church for us to go to on Christmas morning so we’ll have that at least.
So many thoughts. I wouldn’t have set up if I were traveling. Hope it’s somewhere awesome!
The contract… Ooffff that’s stressful. Hopefully something comes through after the summer. But the trip with your kid will be awesome and is so worth it. Is it a competitive industry?
Christmas spirit. I’m feeling it! The tree is up, and a strong on lights on the mantel, the cards are trickling in albeit we do not send any anymore), and we ordered a few gifts for the kids. No gifts for T and I since instead we are getting new furniture for the living room. No white elephant, or secret Santa, don’t wanna do it… A Yule party on the 21st (going with everyone) and a Christmas Eve party at our house (hosting), only about 7 people.
And that’s pretty much it! Music, for sure! Leslie Odom Jr ‘s Christmas album and some Diana Krall. Sort of a jazzy Christmas
I did manage to order Christmas cards – I hope they get here before we leave. I paid for shipping.
A Yule party sounds fun. I think one thing that I’m realizing I want Christmas to be is I want it to be a reason to gather and be with friends.