Welp, another show closed and in the books. I meant to post this earlier in the week, but I’ve been so exhausted that I haven’t been at my computer. Plus my parents are visiting, which means that we need my desk chair at the dinner table, which means every time I have a minute to sit down and write, it feels really inconvenient because there is no chair at my desk. Well, I got over that road block and am now sitting at the kitchen table to write this little life update.
It’s a little crazy to think that I don’t have another show to work on until October. I didn’t book any work this summer because I would be travelling at a time that overlaps with a contract I usually take. I’m a little sad that I won’t be in the theatre for such a long time, but I’m going to lean into having a great summer home with the family.
I always make a list after every closing of moments that I want to remember forever on a show, and for this show, some were:
– the opening number with a billion light cues to call, which was kind of scary at first, but once I got into a rhythm, it was almost fun. Calling cues is the part of my job that gets all the glory, but for me it’s actually the easiest part of the job – you just have to know where the cues go and be able to follow the music and read the post its and look up once in a while to make sure things are still on track.
-The tenor and the baritone leads doing a silly dance onstage in the number when they are pretending to be teenagers. Nothing more fun than seeing grown men dance with abandon.
-The part at the end of the show where the lead female character sings, “Be here now. Be here now.” It’s such a beautiful phrase of music and some days, when I was really bone tired, I could hear her voice in my head, grounding me and helping me focus.
-The baritone who sings the father in the opening scene – I’ve known him for four or five years now and he’s still quite a young singer, but I think he has the heart of a dad and was just so perfect for the part.
-The bass’s aria set in the Zen Center, when he tells the main character to “Take one step…”. This was a special reunion for me because I first met this singer when he first came to America as a student – he was shy, barely spoke English, and had a voice and a heart as big as a house. And now he has a flourishing career all over the world. I’m always struck in my business by how strong the bonds are that we forge when we are starting out.
-The way the crew opened the walls at the back of the set. Opera can be pretty low tech – most of the time when you see something move in opera, it’s not computers or motors or what not; it’s a bunch of stage hands pushing or pulling. The first time we ran this scenic move, the wall zoomed open at an alarming rate and the lighting designer said, “It’s too fast! Do we really want it this fast?” But the doors needed to open within three bars of music. So I told the crew, “Open gently, then move off quickly.” And they did. And it was magical.
The rest of the week…
Usually after we open a show, I get some of my time back, especially evenings. But this performance schedule had six performances over six eight days, and one additional rehearsal on the night we didn’t have a show. So it has felt a little unrelenting. On my one night off, I went to see the 13 year old’s middle school musical – she was in the ensemble for Once Upon a Mattress. It was a cute show, clearly a lot of work, and everyone performed with so much enthusiasm. It’s fun to know that she had a tech week on the heels of me having my own tech week. After the show, she took me around an introduced me to all her teachers, which was kind of fun – that she still wants people to know who I am…
The rest of the week was errands and catch up and catching my breath. I had dropped so many things by the wayside that I’m slowly trying to pick up the mess and pieces and try to figure out what life is supposed to look like when I’m around.
Mother’s Day – I’m not a huge Mother’s Day person. These are the three things that I always ask for Mother’s Day:
– Get my picture taken with my kids. Doesn’t have to be fancy – just one photo where no one is picking their nose, or crying, or what not, and where I look half way decent.
-Some time outdoors. Either a hike, or a walk, or an activity.
-Some time alone.
The scorecard was decidedly mixed this year. I did sleep in until 7:30pm. At one point, I felt a little hand on my leg and then another little hand thrust a card under my hand. The card was sweet, even though said child had spelled his name wrong. It made me laugh. the 13 year old had used her own money to buy me a bag of M&Ms and a bag of gummy bears. I was torn between thinking it was such a thoughtful gestures and not wanting her to waste her money on candy at CVS. Parenting is full of conflicted emotions.
We had our usual spate of activities in the morning and afternoon. In the morning I took the 5 year old to Agility Classes, and, the sweetest thing, one of the coaches was handing out roses to moms. “Here,” he said to me, “I see you here every week, and I think you deserve a rose.”
After lunch, and a nap (perhaps that was my alone time?), more activities, and to be fair, the Husband asked if I wanted him to take the kids to skating lessons, but I said I would do it because I knew he wanted time to be in his garden, and he had been solo parenting for the better part of the time for six weeks while I was in rehearsal, so if anything, I figured that he deserved the alone time. Funny story – when the kids were little, they used to call the Husband “MommyDaddy”, I think this might have been because I was often out in the evenings. So I now joke that Mother’s Day should also be for the MommyDaddy as well.
But I got to skate while the kids were in lessons, so that was like alone time. After skating the kids wanted to play outside so I took the to the nature center. I read my book while they made me food. Here is bark burger and a leaf pie.
We spent about half an hour at the Nature Center before going home, where we turned around three times and then headed to Benihana. Originally it had been suggested that we go to Hot Pot again, but we had just been there, so I suggested Benihana as an “event” type meal. (If you’re unfamiliar, Benihana is a chain of hibachi restaurants where the meal is cooked in front of you with a lot of flash and dash. It’s like dinner and a show.) I hadn’t been since I was a teenager and the kids had never gone, so I figured it would be a fun outing. The food itself isn’t spectacular. Not awful, just very ho hum. But let’s be honest, we’re all there for the flying spatulas and spinning eggs. After dinner the restuarants were handing out Macarons for the mothers (or the assumed mothers), which was another nice treat. I think mother’s day is a little performative sometimes, but you know what, I’ll take a free treat.
After dinner, the family tried to fulfil my wish of spending time outside and getting a picture with the kids by taking us to a trail and going for a walk with the idea of taking a picture together. But for reasons that are a little inexplicable, and in retrospect were probably a little silly, things went quickly south and no good pictures were taken and people stormed back to the car in a fit of anger. To be honest, I’m not sure quite what happened. I think partly, I just wanted a quick photo on my iPhone with everyone looking at the camera, and the family instead brought this huge set up with a tripod and the 13 year old’s fancy camera, which I don’t know that anyone really knows how to get the photos off of it… And then no one would take a nice picture, which was hugely annoying for me. I just want one thing and I got a little snarky at the family’s inability to deliver that one thing. (okay, three) Anyhow, it was kind of an ignominious end to Mother’s Day. Oh well. We’ll all try again next year.
Conversation with my Five Year Old:
Me: Are you wearing underwear?
5 year old: No.
Me: Again?!?! You should be wearing underwear. Why don’t you wear underwear?
5 year old: Sometimes it’s just too much pants.
Grateful For:
-My parent’s health. My parents are both the upper side of 70 and are still so very active. They travel internationally three or four times a year, come visit us, play with the grandchildren. Go on long walks every day, usually four or five miles. Lead community organizations. Advocate for Taiwanese independence. Once in a while I look at them and I realize objectively they are quite old, something I tend to forget because they are so busy. I realize more and more that every year, month, week, day with them is a gift.
-Sunny sunny weather. Open window, fresh air. A comfy chair and a good book. And a messy living room, well inhabited.
-A new Pope! I know that it’s odd to be grateful for something that was probably inevitable, but I’m so glad that for a few days, I could replace doomscrolling with “hope”scrolling as I checked for news from the conclave.
-Getting to commute to work with my work BFF. She lives two miles from me and during busy opera season we don’t really get to hang out, so when we carpool to work, it’s like at 35 minute friend date.
-My Eye Doctor, for fixing my glasses. One night as I was going to bed, I stumbled and dropped my glasses and the lens popped out. I’m sure it was a minor fix, but I took it to My Eye Doctor, where I got the glasses from, and they put everything back together again.
-D, our contractor. He’s been working on renovating the basement of my parent’s rental unit and finished the work last week. But then this week we had sheets of rain and there was some water in the basement. D came over the same day that we called and looked at things, and then realized the sump pump wasn’t plugged in and more than that, the outlet that it was plugged into wasn’t working. He spent an hour at the house fixing everything. He’s so easy going and thoughtful and full of practical solutions, I’m so glad we have him on speed dial.
-Lights backstage. It is dark. Rope lights make everything better.
-Middle school teachers. On the day of the second performance of Once Upon a Mattress, I drove the 13 year old to school, so I could drop off snacks for the cast. OMG. Walking into the middle school was like walking into an alternative universe populated by strange half grown people all looking confused and defiant and disaffected and joyful. Sometimes all at once. And then there were these grown ups who kept saying, “Sit down. Don’t block the hallway. Get to class,” as if they were programmed on some kind of auto-loop. I went to a K-8 school, so this whole middle school thing is alien to me. And then as I was leaving the school, it struck me – this is what it is like every. single. day. The noise and chaos and emotion and physicality. It wasn’t just one crazy morning. it’s is every. day. Every day, my daughter walks these halls of screaming sensory overload. No wonder she comes home and wants to sit in her room and not talk to anyone for the rest of the night. And every day the teachers and school professionals manage the chaos and try to focus it into an environment for learning and growing. I have a hard enough time dealing with one tween/teenager. I am so grateful for the people who deal with hundreds of them every day.
Looking Forward To:
-Happy hour and lunch dates with friends. Now that my schedule is lighter, I’m doing all the social things.
-Season two of Poker Face. The Husband and I watched Season One together last year and it was a lot of fun. I’m excited for more murders and hijinks. Highly entertaining.
-Summer pool season. The weather is already in the 80s and muggy here and I can’t wait until I can be in the pool. Our pool opens in two weeks and soon we’ll be in the thick of summer swim team season. I’m going to have to think about how to prep for nightly dinners at the pool between swim practices.
-Just started this book. I’m determined to finish it before I go to South Africa next month, so I’ve set myself weekly reading goals. It’s proving fascinating and engrossing so far.
What We Ate:
Monday: Ravioli Bake. The Husband made this and it was tasty – he was looking for easy recipes to make ahead and take along for those days when the 8 year old has to ride along to the 5 year old’s 6pm gymnastics classes and didn’t have time to have dinner beforehand.
Tuesday: Taco Tuesday – Ground beef tacos with guac, salsa, sour cream, cheese, and hard shells.
Wednesday: Chicken wings. My mother made them. This is one of her specialty dishes. The kids love it. It involves soy sauce, honey, and garlic.
Thursday: Black Pepper Asparagus and Tofu Stir Fry. I had picked up some asparagus and broccoli from the farmer’s market so I use both in this stir fry. Vegan.
Friday: not sure what the family ate. I was at work and ate leftovers. (Well sort of – I packed leftovers, but then got busy and didn’t eat them.).
Saturday: Pizza (take out) and Frozen.
Sunday: Benihana for Mother’s Day.
Welp, hope you have a lovely weekend. Ours is the usual kid activities and then the 5 year old is finally getting baptized. Hopefully there will be sunshine and fresh air involved, though.
What summer things are you looking forward to? Pools – yay or nay? Favorite pool dinners? Have you ever been to Benihana? Who was your favorite teacher in middle school?
Ha! My son concurs with underwear being too many pairs of pants. I insist for school days, but on the weekend it is commando all the way. *Sigh* I pick my battles…