The week before was exhausting and hard and I never wanted it to end. There is something really special about working on a show that I love with some of my favorite colleagues, and also to top it all off, having my 13 year old also be in the show. This is probably the last time I will get to work on a show with one of my kids. By next year she will have likely aged out of being in the children’s chorus, and my other two kids don’t show any inclination for theatre. So I really tried to savor this past weekend of shows, these moments in the theatre we are having together, all the hard work and concentration. I feel so lucky to be able to share with her the joy and wonder of being able to tell stories onstage.
She felt it too. During our last show on Sunday night, every time I saw her backstage she was crying. At one point, she was standing next to me as her group was getting ready to enter, and she was crying so hard, another of the kids went and got her a handful of tissues. With one eye on my score – because I still had to call cues, of course – I leaned over and gave her a big hug and said, “You can’t cry and sing at the same time. Go onstage and enjoy the moment.”
I’d been trying to keep up with journaling during this show because I want to be able to remember what a wonderful time it was. Lately when I don’t feel like I have a lot of time for dep reflective journaling, I write down one or two things that were different and unique about the day and one or two things that were frustrating. Here are some of the things from the week of tech/performances :
Monday:
Unique/Different: Sitzprobe day. If you remember my post where I talked about Stizprobe – well this was a true sitzprobe (sitting rehearsal) because it was in a rehearsal room and not on stage, so we couldn’t wandel (wander). But it’s always exciting to hear the orchestra and for many of the children’s chorus, it was their first time ever singing with and orchestra.
-I talked to one of the kids in the show as we were waiting for rehearsals to start, and had a hilarious conversation with her. I have to admit that I had been struggling with some of the kids’ behavior – there has been a general lack of engagement and focus in rehearsal from a handful of them. I know that they are just kids and for many this is their first professional experience, but I was feeling pretty frustrated with some of the attitudes and talking back and not paying attention and not learning their music and breaking of props when I told that the flashlight stars are fragile. To be clear, most of the kids were doing really well and focused, it was just a handful that had worn me down. Plus having three hours of rehearsals with the kids every single night requires a very specific kind of energy from me. But then at the sitzprobe, I had this quirky delightful conversation with one of the kids and it helped remind me that these kids were…. well, kids. And asking them to focus for three hours at a time was asking a lot. They aren’t bad kids. They’re just kids and I needed to meet them where they were.
Frustrating: The theatre space is very small and the stage managers share a small office with two other departments so it’s very hard for me to get focused work time because there are always people coming in and out. (On the other hand, it makes for a good sense of camaraderie.)
-I didn’t get the Christmas cards done yet. (or the laundry folded, or the dishes done…)
Tuesday:
Unique/Different: On the way to work, a Secret Service car pulled in front of me and blocked traffic. Three or four minutes later, a motorcade came through. I don’t get to experience the Secret Service moving someone through very often, and I find it kind of fun to witness, regardless of one’s politics.
Frustrating: It was our Piano Tech rehearsal and we didn’t get through the whole show. We got through all of Act One and only half of the second act. It’s always frustrating not to get through the whole show before we add costumes. But at intermission, the plane onstage took longer to move than I had allowed for in the schedule (it was the first time the crew had taken the plane off stage – they eventually added two more crew members to help with the plane and other things.), and also there was a lot of starting and stopping for things I hadn’t planned on. I get very down on myself when rehearsals don’t move at the pace I would like.
Wednesday:
Unique/Different: -The kids had a chocolate chip bagel with cream cheese. Wednesday is 7:15am piano lesson day for the 13 year old and the 8 year old. The 8 year old took the 7:15am lesson this time so that the 13 year old could sleep in a little more, so I took the kids to get bagels in appreciation for getting to piano lessons on time. Usually the 8 and 6 year old split an egg bagel with strawberry cream cheese, but this day they chose to have a chocolate chip bagel because they had never had that before.
-Piano Dress rehearsal – I called all the spot light cues for the first act. I very rarely get any spotlight cues in my book by Piano Dress, so it was really a big achievement for me to have put the cues in my book and been able to call them at this rehearsal.
-And we got through the whole show and had time to go back and repeat some scenes with the alternate cast member. Also – there is one really fast costume change that didn’t go well the first time – one singer has one minute to change from a rose costume to a fox costume. Often we will just move on and hope it goes better the next time, but I pretty firmly said that we needed to give the dressers a chance to do it again. At first I was worried it would be a big waste of time because it took almost ten minutes to reset for the change. But the dressers and the singers nailed the change the second time through and that felt really good. I want to remember this moment because I don’t want to forget that the crew – wardrobe crew and stage crew – need time to rehearse as much as the singers do and that I need to make sure they get that time as we move through rehearsal.
Frustrating: Oh man, this day had a trifecta of frustration:
1) The bridge from the trail where I park and the kids’ school was closed for some construction work. We were already running late and I couldn’t get across the creek to get the kids to school. We ended up having to get back in the car and I just drove them to the school, but I still had to walk them in because they were so late. On the other hand, seeing the 8 year old explain to his little sister what a tardy slip was was kind of cute.
2) Then I stepped in dog poop. I’m pretty sure I stepped in dog poop while trying to find a way across the creek, but I didn’t notice it until I was halfway to work and the car started to really smell. And there was no way to pull over til I got to work. UGH.
3) I got to work and realized that I had left my wallet at home. An appliance repair company had called about a job I needed them to do and when I reached into my purse to get my credit card to pay them… it wasn’t there. On the bright side, I had left it at home while ordering the Christmas cards, so at least those were done. Plus I was going to be at the theatre all day so didn’t really need my wallet. But UGH.
All that happened before 10:30am. The rest of the day went pretty well, though. And luckily the 13 year old brought me my wallet when she came to rehearsal.
Thursday
Unique/Different:
-I went for a walk after dropping off the kids at school. I’ve been crap about moving or exercising other than 10 minutes of yoga in the morning. So I took 20 minutes before heading to work and walked the trail next to school. The air was brisk and cold.
-We had an Orchestra Tech rehearsal with and invited audience, which essentially meant the first time we performed the show in front of an audience. I love the first time we do the show for an audience because I feel like I get to see the show with fresh eyes. I’d spent two days calling the cues in rehearsal, and when we get an audience, I try to experience the show fresh – each time someone sings, each time the lights change colour, I feel an excitement that someone is seeing that for the first time. The moment when the curtain flies out revealing the plane onstage you can hear the audience inhale in wonder. The first time the children start singing, “Light your lamps, take up your places, for another starry night…” it’s just so exciting to know that a story is coming. The Husband brought the 8 and 6 year old and also one of the 13 year old’s friends, and it was nice to seem them in the audience when I went out to talk to the director.
-Also – I got all the spot light cues in my book and called them. woot.
Frustrating:
-Some work stuff dynamic stuff that isn’t really bloggable. Nothing big but just frustrating chain of information flow.
Friday:
Unique/Different-A Dress Rehearsal at 11am with an invited student audience, meaning I had to be at work at 9:15am. Now, I know a lot of people have to be at work at 9am, or even earlier, but I am not one of those people for whom this is a regular thing. It is so. very. early.
-The Student audience was amazing – even from backstage you could feel how excited they all were. I’m also really proud that an idea I had three weeks ago came to fruition. I had said in a meeting, “Hey, why don’t we do the intermission scene change with the curtain out and show the kids how we take the airplane apart and get it off stage?” Everyone was game for this idea, so we did it, and I think the students really liked watching the stage crew work.
-Opening night. It was a super long day what with that 11am dress rehearsal and then a 7pm performance. But we got Seoul Spice take out for dinner and that was yummy. (Seoul Spice is often described as Korean Chipotle – you get to customize your bowl.)
Frustrating: Okay, this one might be TMI, but I got my period the day before and during the morning rehearsal/show, I totally bled through my pad and my underwear. Luckily I spend the show standing up, so I didn’t bleed through my pants. I didn’t get a chance to change my pad til after the show – there is only one rest room backstage (not counting the ones in the dressing rooms, but I can’t use those ones during the show) and it’s pretty busy at Intermission. Anyhow, it was all fine, but sometimes I get so frustrated that I’m 46 years old and still bleeding through my underwear when I get my period.
Saturday:
Unique/ Different-The perfect scarf drop. There is a moment in the show where a scarf drops from above and lands into a puddle of light. For whatever reasons of wind and physics the scarf never lands in the puddle of light – it always drifts upstage or downstage and ends up in the dark. Well, during the evening show, the scarf landed perfectly in the center of the puddle of light and it was magical.
-Walking to get boba between shows with the 13 year old, each of us with one ear bud so that we could listen to our book together as we walked. We’re currently listening to:
Frustrating: I forgot to call the houselights out at the start of Act 2. The houselights are the lights over the audience. Usually as the orchestra tunes, I call the houselights out, but for some reason, during the matinee, I forgot and we almost started the 2nd Act with the houselights up. I realized just in time but it made for a kind of squishy moment. And then… in the evening show, I again forgot to take the house light out during the tune. I hate making the same mistake twice. Clearly I whatever I had written in my book was ineffective at getting me to call things in the right sequence. I was just really frustrated at myself for messing up.
Sunday:
Unique/Different: Last day of performances- two shows this day. The matinee was the last show for one of our youth leads since he alternates with another singer in the part. At curtain call, he came out crying for his bow. As soon as the curtain came in, the whole cast surrounded him in the biggest group hug I’ve ever seen. The joy and support the cast felt on behalf of the kid was palatable in the air. I get choked up thinking back on it. Here is the other thing that was amazing about this moment – I’ve done this show three times over the past 11 years, and it has always been a white child in the main role. This year was the first time I’ve done it with a Black child in the part. And there’s something really bigger than the sum of it’s part when you cast a child of colour as such an iconic character. For the child himself, for the rest of the cast, for the audience- it’s kind of a shift in what we accept about the stories we tell on stage and who can tell those stories. It’s been a challenging time at work, and I want to remember that we tell stories with open minds and to open eyes, even amidst all the uncertainty.
-Also there was a bit of a burning issue with the spotlights at the start of the second act of the show. That was exciting. We had to take the spotlights out for about ten minutes while the crew fixed the issue.
Frustrating: That we can’t do twenty more performances of this beautiful show.
Grateful for:
-All the things above, the unique/different and the frustrating. I feel so lucky to have had that experience.
-The Husband. For doing keeping the kids alive and getting them where they need to be; for making food; for bringing me food; for doing the laundry; for juggling all the other things of life. Also for dealing with the 6 year old’s bloody nose at 1am.
-A surprise brie sandwich. I had made a turkey sandwich with the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers, layering turkey, arugula, cranberry sauce, and some brie that I found in the fridge. Only by the time I’d gotten to work, I had forgotten that I had put brie in the sandwich and my first bite had a s deliciously pungent surprise. I had that same sandwich until the turkey and cranberry sauce ran out, and I now call it surprise brie sandwich. It brought much joy to my lunch life.
-Friends for driving carpool.
-The freezer section at HMart. Going into tech/performance week, I knew that the 13 year old and I would be eating a lot of food at the theatre. Thank goodness for HMart. I stocked our freezer with dumplings, bao, and aloo paratha, all of which I would cook in the morning and pack for dinners that were filling and easy to eat at the theatre.
-While we’re talking about food – grateful for people who bring communal snacks to work. Snacking is super important to me at work:
-The crew at the theatre for being amazing and game, and crawling on the floor behind the stage to fix problems. And literally putting out fires.
-All the people I work with. There’s a bit of a sense that we’re in the foxhole together right now and I’m glad I’m there with these people.
Looking Forward To:
I’ve been struggling with feeling excited about our upcoming trip to Taiwan. I feel really ungrateful for saying that about a chance to travel internationally. BUT we were there last year and the kids were really looking forward to Christmas at home. Also – it’s going to be a lot of family, which will be chaotic; there will be my kids complaining that they don’t have iPads like all their cousins do; there’s jetlag and people’s schedules being off; there’s the discomfort of not being home and around familiar things…. So I am trying to acknowledge my feelings, but also think of the things that I am looking forward to. So here are some things I’m looking forward to:
-Seeing my grandfather. The whole reason this trip was planned is that we are celebrating my grandfather’s 100th birthday. He no longer travels to America, so I think every chance I get to see him is a gift.
-Seeing family. I’m conflicted about this because sometimes I feel it hard to connect with my cousins, but I do want to see them and I am looking forward to all our kids hanging out.
-The food. The food in Taiwan is so delicious. I’m looking forward to it all – noodles, bao, soy milk, stinky tofu…
-The fruit. This gets its own category from “food” because the fruit in Taiwan is so amazing – sweet and flavorful, and so many varieties.
-Seeing Mr. K, our bus driver from last year’s trip. My mother booked him to drive us again. He was just so chill and kind.
-Relaxing at hot springs and hiking – my mother has arranged a couple days for us together to chill at the end of a the week of intense family activity. I haven’t been hiking as much this year as I would like, so I’m looking forward to this.
-Watching all the movies and reading books on the plane ride. My sister-in-law and I have decided to have a book club. We’re going to read these two books:
What We Ate:
This was the week of make-ahead or eating out:
Sunday: Made a big pot of Dakdoritang (Korean braised chicken and vegetables). Kind of based off this recipe, but I added Kabocha squash and daikon and shitake mushrooms. It was really delicious. The 6 year old who hates mushrooms actually loved the mushrooms in this dish. I ate it all week.
Monday: I ate leftovers. I brought dumplings, cut up apples, aloo paratha, and carrot sticks for the 13 year old. The Husband took the two little kids out for pizza and ping pong with a friend after he dropped the 13 year old at rehearsal.
Tuesday: I ate leftover dakdoritang. Same as yesterday for the 13 year old. The Husband and family had chili at home – he had made a big pot on Sunday.
Wednesday: The 13 year old and I split a jamon torta that the Husband had brought home for me the day before. Did the rest of the family have chili again?
Thursday: The 13 year old and I had chili at work.
Friday: Seoul Spice take out for the 13 year old and I. The Husband and two little kids at home made pizza and they watched… not sure, but it was some Christmas movie. Maybe Candy Cane Lane?
Saturday: Leftovers at the theatre. I think. The details are hazy when one is going onto day six at the theatre in a row.
Sunday: The 13 year old and I went out for dinner between shows with my stage management team. We split a chicken sandwich and a burger. It was so tasty.
Welp that’s the news from here lately. We’re rounding the corner to the holidays and a new year. This last month of the year has just flown by. I’m a little bit in a panic state about packing and prepping for our upcoming travel; I’m feeling a bit of guilt about dropping the ball on presents and teacher gifts/cards; I have a few Christmas cards still to send (should I Sharpie out “Merry Christmas” and write in “Happy New Year”?? ). Christmas is not going to be very Christmas-y this year, and part of me is okay with that, but also part of me is having an existential crisis about it. I think we’ve decided that Christmas cards, Tuba Christmas and Mass are “must do” Christmas activities. The rest… I’m trying to decide how sad I am that we missed out on some of the usual holiday things. More to ponder.
Hope you all are heading into the home stretch of 2025 with time to reflect and look forward as well.
is 9am seem early to you? Have you ever had a brush with Secret Service? If you journal, any prompts you use when you have journaler’s block? What Holiday traditions are “must do” for you?
PS: If you want to see the show that I was working on, you can see a clip here and here. If you don’t blink, you’ll see me!
What a magical experience the show was for you! I’m glad you were able to be intentional about enjoying all of it.
I’m happy you’ll be able to see your grandfather but oh, do I ever relate to what you’re saying. Christmas travel is so difficult, and with children it is even more difficult. I prefer a quiet Christmas at home and the thought of that kind of travel…well, it’s hard. But I’m sure it will be worth it to see your grandpa and family and maybe next year it will be an at-home Christmas for you.
Next year will definitely be at home. I think the rest of the family will stage a protest if we aren’t home.
It is beyond special that your daughter is part of the chorus and you got to work on a show together! Those are memories to last a lifetime.
That scarf landing gave me chills! Isn’t it wonderful when things like that work out perfectly. We can’t script them which is what makes it so incredible.
Safe travels. I 100% get your range of emotions on this. We used to travel over Christmas (SHORT DISTANCES) and I found it exhausting. My goal in these sorts of situations is to aim for a few good memories each day (copied shamelessly from Laura Vanderkam)!
A few good memories seems doable on this trip. I think at least one a day will probably often involve food.
How special that you had these moments with your daughter and even more that they resonated so deeply for her, as well! I really feel it is the mark of a true theatre kid to have had a cry backstage during a show <3 best of luck with your travel!
I’ll have to tell her that’s what makes her a true theatre kid! There was an article in the NY Times recently about how the term theatre kid has come to be used pejoratively by certain Republicans, and I’m just flabbergasted.
The Little Prince!!!
I saw you in one of the videos. Ah, your job is SO cool.
I used to travel during Christmas, but then I had kids lol now we stay out. I was thinking of going to Russia to see dad but man, it’s bloody expensive!!! 3,500 economy for ONE person. Plus I only have 10 days and four of them would be spent traveling. No.
I’ll do my big trips in the summer.
Lastly, my husband travels a lot during the year for work and he is adamant about NOT going anywhere for Christmas.
International travel is indeed not cheap. We are lucky that we are going to Taiwan for a big family reunion so my parents helped pay for the plane tickets and then my uncles and aunts and grandfather are helping to pay for all the hotels. The kids are missing two days of school for this trip, but I guess it might be easier to miss school as a student then as a teacher.
Aww, what a special experience for you and your daughter! It’s touching that she was crying during her last show. This really means a lot to her!
I’ll be honest and say I never get excited before a trip, lol. I love to travel and have new experiences, but it ramps up my anxiety and I hate being away from home and my cats for more than a few days. I understand your complicated feelings!