Weekly recap + what we ate: September Stressors

Declutter-palooza continues. This past weekend it was the toy/play room. Toy room before:

After:

Decluttering the toy room felt a lot harder than the attic. I think partly because the toy room needs to become a hybrid toy room/guest room/office/ craft room, we’re going to have to really think about functionality and efficiency of space. Also a lot of the toys have sentimental value. The tabletop kitchen was something the prop crew head at one of my summer gigs helped me make one summer when the oldest kid was two or three. A lot of the trucks were from the Husband’s childhood. The Barbie apartment was a much beloved toy and even though it’s missing the balcony and is probably a safety hazard of exposed screws, the 12 year old does not want to get rid of it.

The black bin is full of toys to donate or Freecycle, so that will get moved out. We threw out two bags of toys but it was mostly small plastic trinkets and things that were broken or missing pieces. A lot of the bigger items and sets still remain. This is my struggle with the toy room – most of the stuff is the bigger things. We can throw out all the small plastic party favors and fidget toys and broken Barbies, but that barely makes a dent.

What I think is still in the “keep pile”:
-Wooden Train Track set
– Magnaformers
-Wooden blocks
-A box of matchbox cars and similar small vehicles
-Trucks, School bus, recycle truck, Jumbo jet, space ship, remote control car
-box of puzzles.
-Domino set – where you can set up dominos to topple.
-A box of stuffed animals
-Play shopping cart and dolls
-Play grocery stand
-Two doll houses and furniture (why two?? They’re both from the Husband’s childhood)
-a container of figurines
-the aforementioned play kitchen, food, pots and pans
-Nugget play cushions
-Dress up clothes. So many dress up clothes.
-Lincoln Logs. Genuine wooden ones from the Husband’s childhood.
-Lego set and Barbie paraphernalia, but this will go into the 12 year old’s room eventually so I don’t have to decide what to do with it.
-Four stomp cars.

On the “TBD” pile:
-Fort play cushions. These are huge cushions you can use to build forts. We bought it as part of a Kickstarter. Only the thing got recalled because there are magnets that hold the cushions together and the magnets can fall out. But I figure if I can take the magnets out, we can still use the cushions. But I can’t find my seam ripper. So TBD on that.

All in all, I’m finding this decluttering process rather stressful. Not just the decluttering, but also the figuring out of new systems, trying to set a baseline clean level that can be easily achieved. It’s the kind of thing where I can’t really see right now where the solutions are. So even though I think we’ve whittled down the toys by a lot, the room still looks really cluttered and messy.

I felt a lot of latent stressors percolating last week. Just a general feeling of overwhelm and restlessness. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself an anxious person, but I did have some moments of feeling absolutely swamped. Things that were simmering in my stress cauldron last week:

-Mom guilt – signing my kids up for too many extracurriculars. Originally we had Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday without activities, but then opportunities came up and now we have activities on Wednesday and later in October Tuesday too. Each kid is doing at least three activities. Is it too much?

-Mom guilt – signing my kids up for not enough extra extracurriculars. And on the flip side, I’m getting notices of other things the kids could take part in, and I know that they are things that the kids would enjoy and I wonder, are they missing out?

– Not keeping track of all the different sign ups and what not. This is sort of related to the above, but there are a couple of things that we missed out on because I just couldn’t get my head together to do the sign ups or submit medical forms. And I keep double booking things and missing meetings. And it just makes me feel like things are falling through the cracks.

-Starting back at work and not quite knowing everything that’s going on. I have this feeling in the back of my mind that I’m missing something. I’m just going to have to fake it until I figure out what’s going on.

-Are we going to have a good time in Malaysia this winter? It’s an awful lot of money to spend to not have a good trip.

-WhatsApp group insecurities. So there’s a WhatsApp group for the 4 year old’s pre-school class. When my friend first added me, I thought it would be a nice way to get to know other parents. I even thought I’d reach out and invite people over for a happy hour since we live very close to the school. BUT then people started posting pictures and “Thanks for having us!” and “What a great time!” and “Thanks for coming!” messages for a party that my kid was not invited to. And I got really upset about it. I mean if you are going to a party that not every kid in the class was invited to, then maybe don’t mention it on the WhatsApp group? And then someone mentioned getting drinks on another person’s porch and I just started to feel very – well I’d say “high school” but I didn’t go through this in high school, so not sure what to call this feeling of being left out. And really, I’m probably reading too much into it – no one is being malicious or mean or anything. Just a little exclusive and insensitive about who all might be on the group. What I really want to do is to drop a message introducing myself, and ask if other people could do the same since most of the phone numbers in the group are unfamiliar to me. But… there are 40 names on the chain, so asking for introductions seems a little impractical. I was also reading an article last week about how people are more likely to connect during the beginning stages of an activity, and it’s made me realized that I feel like I’ve missed the boat on making friends within this WhatsApp group. Anyhow, I kind of need to get over my feelings about this list. This is not something that I need to spend mental energy on.

And then there is the things that are perpetually on my list of stressors – namely my ancient car and the window treatments for the living room. I feel like around last year at this time I wrote a post about things making me stressed- so maybe it’s just September that brings it on? I have to remind myself either I will fix some of these issues and they will stop stressing me out, or I will just decide they aren’t worth the real estate they are taking up in my head and leave things to resolve themselves.

Well, on the other hand – some fun things that happened last week.
-I had one of my supertitle gigs (more on that below!), and on my dinner break got to walk around the performing arts center and see some beautiful evening sky and listen to some music.

-We started weekend activities. One child had a soccer game on Saturday. On Sunday there was the usual Agility class for the 4 year old, and then skating for the the 4 and 7 year old. Since the skating lessons are back to back time slots, I will take the kid who is not in a lesson to public skate and then switch. Skating is so much fun!

-Friendship Picnic. After skating on Sunday, we had to have lunch, and I remembered that the County was having a Friendship Picnic at a nearby park where they would be serving free lunch. The shuttle to the picnic left from the ice rink parking lot, so I figured we could go check out the picnic.
I was so impressed by the whole affair! The Friendship Picnic has been going on for ten years and I never went because I always thought it would be a madhouse. Surely, anything that promised free food and bounce houses was going to be chaotic, and I don’t like being in chaotic crowds. But the whole thing was actually really well organized. When you arrived, if you wanted lunch, you picked up a wristband for a lunch option – the choices were vegetarian/kosher, Halal, and vegan, and there were wristbands for ice cream. There were also multiple coolers full of bottled water all over for people to grab. I picked the vegetarian/kosher option and we went to the tent that matched our wristband and got falafel in pita with fries. It was so delicious – the pita in particular was fluffy and not dry. The kids (I only had the two younger ones with me) didn’t eat much of their falafel, but they ate the fries. Oh well.
We sat in the shade and ate our lunch while listening to some county officials give speeches and when that was over, a band started playing music. When the kids were done eating, we went to the bounce houses. The 7 year old in particular loved this basketball connect four game and spent a while at it. When the kids got tired of the bounce houses, they went to the playground. All in all it was a lovely event. I’ll have to remember to mark my calendar for the Friendship Picnic next year.

-An interesting comment – I had posted a few weeks ago about how my biracial kids were the norm not the exception at school these days. I often think, with my kids, how important it is to see themselves reflected in mainstream media. I remember growing up in a small city in Canada where there were only a handful of Asian families. In my K-8 elementary school, our family and one other family from India were the only non-white families. There were no Black families. I remember wanting to be blond when I was a child; I thought you had to be blond to be pretty because that was what was around me and what I saw in the mainstream media. Anyhow, I was musing in that post about how long we’ve come – how my kids don’t have to be the only half-Asian kids in their class and how they see so much more diversity in their lives than I did growing up. And then we were watching a trailer for the first Transformers movie and the 12 year old sees Megan Fox on the screen and suddenly exclaims, “She’s really hot. And she’s not blond! Mom, she has dark hair like me and she’s so pretty!” And I didn’t know whether to feel thankful/happy that my 12 year old realizes that she didn’t have to be blond to be pretty, or to be sad that she ever even felt that way.

-Fun contrasting picture – I feel like this is the modern day equivalent to throwing everything in the dishwasher to hide the mess when guests come over – I had to jump on a work call one day while at home and I frantically pushed everything to one end of the dining room table to make room for my computer at the other end. This is what you saw on my screen:

This is what was behind the computer:

I’m not one to have a super curated zoom background for sure, but I’m going to at least pretend that my house is not a disaster.

Grateful For:
-Middle School Administrators. The 12 year old had an incident in school – not my story to tell, but even though I’m a pretty hands off parent, it was something I felt had to be addressed by the teacher. So I wrote an email to the teacher and the next morning, the Assistant Principal called me and told me the matter had been forwarded to him and the issue had been addressed. He was patient and told me what he did on his end and answered all my questions. I’m so grateful for the quick and compassionate response. I feel like middle schoolers can be so mercurial and confusing to deal with as they try to figure out how to navigate independence and making good choices – I’m so thankful for the administrators and teachers who are there to support tweens and their parents.

-Being able to print at the Library. We don’t have a printer at home. Usually when I need to print something the Husband or I will do it at work, but neither of us were at work the day I needed to submit medical forms for the 12 year old to join the cross country team at school. So I went to the library, loaded money on my library card and printed the forms off there. It was $1.50 for ten pages and very easy to do. while at the library, I looked at all the people working at the four rows of public computers and I thought of all the people who don’t have internet access at home and who need to go online for whatever reason – it seems like so many things have to be done online these days. What a wonderful thing the library is!

-My dentist and having dental insurance. I had a dentist appointment for a cleaning. It’s been over a year since my last cleaning, but I had to cancel my last appointment and the next availability was three months away, so it got away from me. I love my dentist and hygienist. They are nice, funny, they remember me. The aren’t in my insurance network, but they submit the paperwork to get everything reimbursed. And now my teeth feel smooth and clean!

-Good diction and imslp.com. Okay – this will be one of those “in the weeds” work type things, so apologies if it’s boring or if don’t explain it very well, but .. I had a supertitle gig for a voice recital last week. The first piece on the program was Franz Liszt’s Three Songs on Petrarch Sonnets. So the recital starts, the pianist starts playing and I’m following along in my music so that I can bring up the right translation slides at the right time to coincide with the singing. And suddenly I don’t quite know what is going on, because I can’t seem to follow the music. I think, maybe I can’t hear the pianist that well since I’m sitting in a booth at the back of the theatre? Maybe it’s because she’s playing too quietly? Maybe I’ve forgotten how to read music? Then the singer starts singing and it is definitely not what is on the page in front of me. The words are correct, but not the notes. At this point, I’m starting to panic a little bit because I’m realizing that I don’t have the right music in front of me. Which is concerning because I now don’t know when to advance the slides to the next bit of text since I don’t know when the next sung line is coming. So with one hand, I keep trying to keep the slides going to correspond to the words coming out of the singer’s mouth, with my other hand, I get out my phone and google “Liszt Petrarch songs”. And…
Did you know that Franz Liszt wrote two sets of songs based on the sonnets of Petrarch?
And I had the music for the wrong set in front of me.
Luckily the words are the same, and the singer has very clear diction, so I could keep up with the titles, though they were each a half beat late so that I could figure out which line he was on at any given time. And on my phone, I was able to go to this amazing website IMSLP (International Music Score Library Project, where they have legions of scores that are in the public domain) and pull up the right score and by the middle of the second song I was back on track – looking at the right music on my phone, while looking at the slide translations and numbers on my computer and iPad as the singer sang the set. So… I am grateful that the singer had good diction so I could follow the words when I couldn’t follow the music, and I’m grateful for imslp that i could quickly find the music. Isn’t the internet amazing?

Looking Forward To:

-My parents are coming for a visit!

– Baking a cake! The 4 year old turns five next week and I’m going to bake her a cake. She has also requested dino chicken nuggets for dinner. I need to find those.

-I mentioned this book in my books post, and it’s so much fun I can’t wait to read it every day. Sometimes I feel like my life is a suburban mom cliche and this novel plays into those cliches hilariously. There is a line about Old Navy Pixie Pants that made me snort with laughter.

What We Ate:

Monday: Zucchini, tofu and udon by Hetty Lui McKinnon from New York Times Cooking. Super easy -stir fry crumbled tofu, add sliced zucchini and garlic, add cooked udon noodles and a miso butter sauce. Grind lots of pepper over it. The 7 year old really loved this. vegan because I used olive oil instead of butter for the sauce.

Tuesday: Chicken with Apples and Curry from Dinner a Love Story. The flavors were good, but I have never been able to cook chicken breasts without the bieng stringy and tough. Tips?

Wednesday: Sandwiches from the Deli. The 7 year old had soccer practice at 6pm and we’re still trying to figure out how best to handle dinner on those days.

Thursday: Mac n Cheese, Waffles, and green beans. The Husband cooked and he had leftover waffles which we could have for breakfast, which is one of my favorite parts about making waffles. I worked this night and had a salad from the work Canteen.

Friday: Pizza (Store bought, Detroit style), and Hotel Transylvania. This movie did not do anything for me.

Saturday: We had dinner at a friend’s house – he smoked some meat and made some amazing baked beans. Apple pie for dessert.

Sunday: Eggs and leftovers. There was a Bears game on this night which we were planning to watch. At some point I looked at the Husband and said, “What are we going to feed the kids for dinner?” And he said, “I was going to make popcorn.” I must have given him a disapproving wife look because he then said, “I’ll make some eggs.”

How was your week? Does your zoom background belie the true chaos of your home? What were your three favorite toys growing up?