I’ve been thinking about fashion and appearances lately. First of all last week, I listened to an Edit Your Life episode featuring an interview with personal stylist Dacy Gillespie. Gillespie and Christine Koh had a really deep conversation about body image. “At what point,” Gillespie says, “did we get the idea that our bodies were wrong?” And I think that’s such a powerful thing to contemplate, this idea that “flattering” is a construct and we don’t need to subscribe to that construct. There is nothing “wrong” not “not ideal” about our bodies. Dressing in something flattering, she says, is just “prioritizing someone else’s opinion.”
Another thing she says: “Generally, we don’t have much control over the shape of our body. However, based on our shape, we’re being told to wear certain clothing items.”
Take the idea that “This shirt is flattering because the colours make your skin glow.” I mean that’s all well and good, but what if I like a colour that doesn’t make my skin glow? Am I going to just not wear my favorite colour? It’s all a personal choice, for sure, but the way fashion/style is so tied to societal ideals of what a person should look like, just feels like we might be denying ourselves of a bit of fun and enjoyment in clothes. Or if an item of clothing makes you feel good and confident, what does it matter if it isn’t slimming? It’s a bit chicken and egg, right? A dress makes you feel confident because it is slimming, but where does this idea that slim is better come from? Also, subscribing to what mainstream media is saying what a person should look like seems impossible when bodies are constantly changing. Maybe I had an ideal body in my 20s, but expecting 46 year old me to look like 20 year old me is just unrealistic. I think the Gillespie and Koh have a really empowering discussion and it’s worth a listen.
Soon after I listened to that episode, Nicole had a post, inspired by Cup Of Jo, called Tell Me Something Beautiful About You, where she muses about self-love and confidence and why it is so difficult to say what we love about the way we look. As always, her post is inspiring and beautiful and lifts us all up. And the comments were so wonderfully honest. I suspect if you read my blog, you already read Nicole’s, but if you don’t you need to go read it now, and all the comments, and ponder the question she asks – “What do you like about the way you look?”
I wrote a comment about how two of the things I liked the most about myself were things I got teased about when I was little. I’ve always really liked my mouth because my lips are naturally plump and red. But when I was growing up, kids at school would refer to my lips with a racial slur. And this was okay back then. I mean it’s not okay. It’s never okay. But no one ever called the kids out on it. All it made me do was suck in my lower lip so that it wasn’t so noticeable. The other thing I’ve always liked about myself are my eyes, but again, I feel weird saying that because there’s a lot of baggage that comes with Asian eyes and standards of beauty. This is the stupid part – even though I have big round eyes, the kids at school would still tease me and pull their eyes into little slants when talking about me. What the what??? My mother always said she liked my eyes because they were so big and round. And there is kind of an implication that eyes that aren’t big and round are less appealing. That’s the tricky thing about finding something appealing – I feel like society is set up in some kind of dichotomy where if X is considered attractive, the opposite of X is considered not attractive. When really a) it’s all subjective, and b) shouldn’t what we like about people be “and” not “or”? I love that Nicole gave us space to shout out the things about ourselves that make up feel good about ourselves while acknowledging that everyone is different and beautiful.
And this is what I want to say – I like your face. You can break it down into what features I like about your face, but really I like your face because it belongs to you. It isn’t that you have big eyes or button nose or plump lips. I like your face because through it shines everything you are.
Anyhow, Nicole asked for selfies, and I’m providing selfies. I was percolating this post for a while – I like to do a week of outfits once in a while – but the confluence of Nicole’s post and the Edit Your Life episode kind of made it feel like a fitting time to do another in this series.
This is the outfits from the my first week of rehearsals. When I’m in rehearsal and tech, I plan my outfits out on Sunday for the week, so I don’t have to think about it in the morning. This week, I thought the weather would be warm and sunny, and well, even though March went out like a lamb, April came back in like a lion so not everything I wore was something I picked out on Sunday.
Monday, First Day of Rehearsal:
I forgot to take a picture at work because the first day was very busy, so here it is on the hanger in the bathroom. (I take my pictures at work because we don’t have a full length mirror at our house. I would like to change this, but there’s no good place to put/hang a full length mirror.) Wool& tank dress and a Eileen Fisher jacket. I also wore black leggings and tan ankle boots, my checked cap, and a scarf. I know no one wears scarves as accessories anymore, but I still love wearing them. Plus is was really cold that day. I wear this outfit every first day of rehearsal, kind of like a ritual uniform. I think the jacket makes it looks a little more business like – or at least what passes as business like in my world. I love that jacket – it goes with anything. I’ve worn it with sweatpants and managed not to look like I was wearing sweatpants.
Tuesday:
Blue Wool& dress (Sierra), Sweater from Uniqlo, puffer vest from Uniqlo, knit cap (present from a chorister twenty years ago – I didn’t like this hat when it was first given to me, but now I wear it all the time.), black leggings, blue boots. I love those boots.
Wednesday:
This was an outfit that I had picked out when I though it would be warmer, but it ended up being super cold, so I added the sweater and the hat. Cotton gauze Old Navy wide pants (bought last summer and love them so much – would wear them all the time if I could), striped long sleeve t-shirt from Duluth Trading Company, Zip up hoodie sweater from DKNY (I’ve had this sweater for twenty years, bought it at an outlet mall outside of Denver. For many years I didn’t wear it because it is quite short and would always hit me funny. But then I started wearing high waisted pants and suddenly this sweater is perfect!), hat from Duluth (last minute hat addition when I realized it was almost the same colour as the pants). Shoes are wool runners from Giesswein. I had a pair of Allbirds that I wore all the time, but the Allbirds no longer come in fun colours, so in my search for wool shoes, I found these. I find them more supportive than Allbirds, especially for the balls of my feet.
Thursday:
I’m wearing pants! It must be very cold if I’m wearing pants. I think my original outfit was a dress. Same green hat as on Tuesday. Striped shirt from H&M, bought years ago when I was pregnant and trying not to show. It’s not technically a maternity shirt, but it does have a very boxy cut. Uniqlo puffer vest. Pants are from Duluth Trading Company, the cotton version of the NoGa pants. They are very soft and stretchy and, yes, could probably pass for yoga pants. Shoes – red Giesswein runners. I liked the Giesswein shoes so much I ordered them in two colours.
Friday:
This was a rainy rainy day. This was again not the outfit I had planned to wear, but given the rainy weather, I did not want to wear a dress to work.
Black gap maternity long sleeve t-shirt (another maternity item that I still wear), Duluth overalls in a fox print. (These are the grown up version of the overalls that the 5 year old has.) Purple DKNY sweater (same as Wednesday.) Rain boots (I think they’re Bogs?). I’m so glad I work somewhere where I can wear overalls and rain boots to work.
Saturday:
Black and white cap (Also worn on Monday), Mushroom and gnome print shirt from Duluth Trading Company, Uniqlo vest (this is definitely in my “20% of my wardrobe worn 80% of the time” pile.), Red Wool& tank dress (Same as worn on Monday – I love the Wool& dresses because I can wear them several times a week and they can be styled so differently. Also I don’t need to wash them after every wear, so they are very easy.), black leggings, blue boots. I think I wore this same outfit in one of my outfits of the week post last fall.
Sunday: Day off. I don’t have a picture of Sunday – again, no full length mirror at home. I wore my blue tie dye sweat pants, a red tank top and a red plaid flannel. Clearly it was a day at home.
That’s it – What Diane wore in one week, the unexpectedly chilly Spring Edition. One thing I’ll say, as I look back on these photos, is that I genuinely like and feel comfortable in everything that I wore that week, and indeed most of my wardrobe. If I don’t feel comfortable in it, or feel “meh” about it, then it doesn’t belong in my closet. I think last year I wrote about my three style words, and they were Colourful, effortless, and playful. I still feel like that’s how I dress, “flattering” be damned.
Cool Bloggers Walking Club: unofficially The kids were on spring break last week, so I took the metro or rode my bike to work for most of the week. (When they are in school, I tend to drive since I have to drive to the bus stop anyway). So I had lots of walks to and from the Metro Station. I also went down to the Mall again with my Uncle and Mother- this time we walked to the MLK and FDR Memorials.
Snapshots from my commute – 7 walk to metro, 10 minute metro ride, 7 walk to work on the other side. I think this falls into the “every little bit counts” column of CBWC. Here are some very boring images from my commute.
Walk to park with kids on Easter Sunday while they biked/scootered. Cherry blossom season has passed into sakura-fubuki stage. Literally means “Cherry blossom snow storm” – it’s when the wind blows the blossoms off the trees and it makes a delightful snow of petals. The Japanese have many phrases for the various phases of cherry blossom season.
Walks around the block with my co-workers. There are these random swings. I always want to stop and swing, but never do. Some day.
Grateful For:
-A borrowed umbrella and the rain letting up just in time for me to walk home from the Metro.
-My mother’s visit.
-Shorts and t-shirt weather. Warm air in the evening.
-A car free day and the bike and Metro that made it possible.
-Lilac bushes in our backyard. They smell so lovely. Makes me take a pause to inhale. (I realize this is the third week in a row that I’ve written about a lovely smell… there’s something to that, maybe.)
-That I don’t have to wipe my kids’ butts anymore. Usually. We were at a restaurant and one kid had to go #2 and I was really grateful that I could just send her into the stall by herself. I will admit though, the universe laughed at me and that very night I was roused at midnight later that day because a child had a poop explosion in bed. But even still – I can’t remember the last time I had to clean up a poop mess, so I’m still sticking to being grateful for this.
-The Husband taking the kids away. Last week was spring break. The Husband worked from home most of the week and then took the kids away on an overnight with my mother. Our schools are also closed the Monday after Easter, so the Husband had TEN DAYS with the kids while I worked evenings and Saturdays. So grateful that he was holding it down on the home front. I think he deserves a month of hermit time after this.
Looking Forward To:
-Freakonomics Radio is doing a series where it looks at live theatre. The first episode is called “How is Live Theatre still Alive?“. Of course, as someone who works in live theatre/ opera, I am very much interested in this question. Opera is expensive, and sometimes I question my life choices and wonder if I’ll be able to do this until I retire. (Though honestly with everything going on in DC these days I’m wondering if I’ll be doing this next year…) I’m really excited to hear Freakonomics get into the nitty gritty of where the money in theatre comes from and where it goes.
-Tech! It’s tech this week! I’m a little nervous about this show – there are some very difficult sections of light cues to call. But I’m excited to be in the theatre, so see the work we’ve been doing in a rehearsal room on a taped floor with music stands and rehearsal cubes comes to life with sets and costumes and lighting. I’ve planned my clothes for the week. I have lots of leftovers/ meals in the fridge. I’m looking forward to running along the Potomac on my dinner break. I’m telling myself that I’m looking forward to going to bed without revenge bedtime procrastination – because if I tell myself then, maybe I’ll do it.
-I finally got a hold of someone who placed the 8 year old on a soccer team. I’m a little nervous because he’s not going to know anyone because he’ll be playing in a different part of town than his last team, but I’m excited that he’ll get to be out on the pitch again.
-Speaking of tech it also means a longer commute, so I’m looking forward to diving into a new audiobook. I’m almost done my audiobook so I need a new one since my commute to the theatre is longer than my commute to the rehearsal space. I generally like fast moving, gripping fiction for my tech week, something to keep me engaged when my brain is fried. Suggestions welcome!
What We Ate:
Monday: Eggplant and Pork stir fry with Udon noodles – The Husband cooked. I ate some leftovers when I got home and it was really delicious. I made myself a sweet potato and quinoa salad to eat at work and all week. Loosely based on this recipe from Pinch of Yum, but I didn’t have chickpeas so I threw in a can of cannelini beans with the quinoa.
Tuesday: Shrimp tacos. I wasn’t home that night, but I prepped the shrimp so the Husband cooked them and some chicken when he got home.
Wednesday: Spaghetti and meatballs. The 13 year old made dinner, including making the meatballs from scratch. I’m really proud of her- I pulled out the basic recipe from Bittman’s How to Cook Everything, she and the Husband made a shopping list, and then he sent to the store with his credit card. She walked to the store and bought all the ingredients herself (she was really proud that she resisted the temptation to buy chips or candy – I’m proud of her too and I split a bag of Vicky’s Spicy Dill pickle chips with her later that evening as a celebration.). Then she came home and made dinner. I ate some when I got home from work and it wasn’t bad.
Thursday: The Husband took the kids out of town. I had leftover spaghetti and meat sauce when I got home from work.
Friday: Cabbage Soup. I made a big batch of kitchen sink cabbage soup on Thursday night after I got home from work – hopefully enough for a few meals during tech for me and for the family to reheat and eat one night while I’m working. Anyhow, I took a container to work to eat on Friday. Vegan.
Saturday: The rest of the family were camping to celebrate a friends’ birthday party. They had had some Thai food for lunch so I ate that for dinner when I got home from work at 9pm.
Sunday: Easter Dinner! We had a low key Easter. We went to 8:30 Mass, which to my surprise, was half in Bangla. Our church has masses in French, English, and Spanish because there is a large immigrant community in our congregation. On Easter Sunday, the 8:30am Mass was also in Bangla, which I wasn’t expecting, but which was actually a nice surprise. Half the homily and readings were in Bangla. There was also Bangla music a few times throughout the service, which made for a really fun change of pace. I loved seeing all the women coming to church dressed up in their saris on Easter Sunday – all jewel tones with gold trim, silken fabric wafting as they walked.
After Mass, we went out to brunch at Denny’s. We have a family tradition of going to IHOP of Denny’s or some diner for Easter brunch after church. Then we came home, looked for Easter Eggs and cleaned the house a little bit. After that, we went to the park with the two little kids – the 13 year old was in hermit mood and stayed home – the kids biked and scootered. We ended up running into some friends at the park. Then we came home and I cooked Easter dinner. After dinner, everyone cleaned up the kitchen and had showers and we finished out the evening by watching Bluey and eating chocolate pudding. Not too busy, but a good combination of activities, I think.
The Easter Menu: Ham (baked in Guinness with a brown sugar coating), marinated zucchini (this recipe, but I grilled the zucchini rather than fry it), broccoli quinoa salad, pull apart Challah rolls (I chose these over the Hawaiian roles because I like the texture better, even though they taste similar). For dessert, I made Smitten Kitchen’s Best Chocolate Pudding – I love this recipe because it is easy and fast and I almost always have the ingredients on hand so I can make it when I need a last minute family dessert that also feels special.
Hope you all have a great week!
Has Spring arrive yet for you? What is your “20%/ 80%” item in your closet? Do you have anything that you recently rediscovered in your closet? What’s the first meal you remember making and how old were you? What else should the 13 year old make?