Weekly recap + what we ate: September Review/October Aspirations

I was feeling kind of “meh” about September. We had a big goal of doing a lot of decluttering, but we had one major win (the attic), and one kind of fail (the toy room.) We have a plan for the foyer to manage our shoes and socks and drop zones, but it requires ordering new shoe storage. I’m excited about the shoe storage that we have picked out, but it is pricy, so I’m not sure when we’ll order it. And then on top of it all, the start of school and activities just feels overwhelming – totally my own doing, of course, but it’s stressful.

But when I went to journal about my September, I found there were some highlights tucked in there.

September Highlights:
– My parents came to visit.
-The youngest kid turned five!!! We had cake at home and also a birthday party for her with friends at the small local aquarium.
-The kids and I went to the Renaissance Faire. It was so much fun. I’m glad we went early because it’s been sold out for the rest of the season since mid September.
-Going through the attic and throwing out/donating/ passing along so much stuff. The space that this has opened up is amazing.
-Family Game Night. A wonderful, quieter alternative to big adventures.
-Discovered some tasty food near us – a Balkan restaurant and an Indonesian one.
-The County’s Friendship picnic – tasty falafel and bounce houses.
-On the work front – working a corporate gig (a new to me experience), and doing super titles for a Vocal Recital (familiar gig, nice to return to).
-We found out that the 12 year old got into the children’s chorus for the holiday opera that I’m working on. She was so excited. I took this picture of her reading the offer:

September Lowlights – funny how many of these lowlights are tied to the highlights:
-Trying to figure out the logistics of getting the 12 year old to opera rehearsals. Rehearsals start at 4pm, and that’s kind of a logistical nightmare. She doesn’t start until November, but it’s causing a lot of stress.
-My parents came to visit, but I barely saw them because I was working most nights that they were here.
– Not managing to work through the toy room declutter.
-Not having a chance to go on any hikes or visit any museums all month. This might be the first month all year where I didn’t fit in either a hike or a museum visit.

October Aspirations:
Okay, I had written a big long list for October aspirations, but I think I’ll just whittle it down to a few essentials:
– Survive our schedule, making sure everyone stays fed, rested, and gets where they are scheduled to be. In addition to the kids’ usual activities, the 7 year old is going to be a supernumerary (non-speaking extra) in the opera I’m working on. I might regret signing him up – it will be several late nights and will take thoughtful logistics, but he’s excited to do it, and I’m excited to have him in the show.
-Hallowe’en. I think we have costumes sorted out. I need to make them, but I’ve penciled costume work days into my calendar.
– Another effort on the toy room purge.
-VOTE. This is a big one. Early voting starts in ten days. If I don’t do anything else, I need to do this.
-Remember to hug the Husband and children every day.
-Daily time outside. Even the low bar of the Cool Bloggers Walking Club seems high to me right now, but here’s a reminder to step outside and breath the fall air every day.
-I had a bunch of other aspirations written down – the perpetual “get rid of car” project, planning for our Asia Trip, hike, museum, exercise, no-spend month, social plans… I think those are going on the “really, maybe, probably not this month” list. I’m setting expectations low here.

Other Things This Week:
-Contra-dancing! The Husband suggested we go contra-dancing this week. There is a new-ish contra dance about two miles down the road from us on the second Thursday of the month. The Husband and I met contra-dancing and we used to go several times a month. In our area you used to be able to go to a contra dance on Friday Nights and Sunday nights, and if you were willing to drive to Baltimore, you could also go to one on Saturday nights as well. It’s a pretty popular activity here. The Sunday night dance no longer runs now, thanks COVID. And we also haven’t been for a while, thanks, kids. I don’t think we’ve been since before the 7 year old could walk. Anyhow, the Husband told me about this Thursday night dance and we went, taking all the kids, and we all had such a great time. The music was amazing, the people friendly. There were several people that remembered us from when we used to attend the dance regularly. I laughed, I spun really fast, I moved my feet to the music, I swung my kids around, I made small talk with nice people. It was a really great time.

Blurry screen capture from video the 12 year old took of the Husband and me.

-Good talk with a teacher – One of the kids has been struggling in school so we set up a meeting with the teacher to talk about strategies. I’ve always been a little hands off with my kids’ schools, but this year, I’m realizing that there is a an element of collaboration that is needed – teachers and administrators want to know when kids are struggling, and it’s better to ask the questions rather than assume things will work out. I’ve always felt bad about emailing teachers about issues, and taking their time, but I’m seeing that there is a time and a tone for these communications, especially in the elementary/middle school years. I’m sure high school is a whole different ball game.

-Matching Overalls! We went to Duluth Trading Company on Saturday – the Husband needed some new shirts and pants. I’m doing a casual, no-pressure Buy Nothing month (inspired by Stephany!), so I didn’t buy anything for myself, but I did try on some jeans and they weren’t terrible. I might buy myself a pair in November. I haven’t worn jeans in two years and it’s hard to go back, but they are a really versatile piece of clothing and good for running around backstage. So I will marinate on that. But in the mean time, I couldn’t resist picking up a pair of overalls for the 5 year old. They have a super cute fox print pattern on them. And… the overalls come in adult sizes as well. The 12 year old and I both tried them on together. I was sooooo tempted to buy us all matching overalls, but they are on the pricy side and the 12 year old found a pair of ivory corduroy overalls she liked better, and I decided to resist the temptation and stick to my “no buy” intentions. But look how cute we all are!

-We finally finished watching a TV series! This is very rare for us – we often peter out of energy when watching something together, or if I’m watching something on my own, I am often reluctant to watch the series finale because I don’t want the show to end (I’m looking at you, This is Us). We watched the last episode of Ted Lasso over the weekend. (Though there are rumors of a Season 4…?). The last episode was predictably sentimental and heart-tugging to the point of manipulative, but I kind of loved it. I feel like it’s not “cool” to wear your emotions on your sleeve anymore – there is so much television about people being mean to each other, or being irrevocably lonely, or trying to get ahead, or having terrible things happen, and blood and sex and gore and ironic wise assery. And Ted Lasso’s big hearted optimism is the antidote to that. This last season – sure it was predictable and it seemed like they were box checking plot points, but dammit if there weren’t some genuinely touching moments and I might have been a little teary eyed.

-Bored and Brilliant Challenge. As I mentioned in the last post, I’m trying to work my way through the Bored and Brilliant Challenge – six challenges put together by the podcast New Tech City/ Note to Self in 2015 to help one re-set phone habits. The first challenge was to keep your phone in your pocket (or your bag) when you are in transit. As part of the episode, the host sat on a New York City street and counted how many people walking by were interacting with their phone. Of the 1000 people she counted, 30% of people were interacting with their phones, which actually seems low to me – but the episode was from 2015, so maybe people were less attached to their phones nine years ago? At any rate, one of the main points of this first challenge is how even when you don’t look at your phone, even having it out is a distraction and keeps you from truly connecting – with others, with your surroundings, with yourself.
I’ve been doing this “phone in pocket” challenge, and at the beginning I noticed that I would, out of habit, pull my phone out after work as I walked to my car. This wasn’t great, especially since I often left work late at night when it was dark out. But it was also something that I wasn’t even thinking about. What was interesting to me about this challenge, too, is that one would think that a behavior that requires effort (pulling out one’s phone) comes against more friction than something that requires no effort (leaving the phone in my bag). But that itch to check my phone – the discomfort of being bored – clearly was winning out over the inertia of leaving the phone in my bag. So when I started finding myself reaching for my phone while walking or in the car or wanting to take it with me when I walked down the hall to talk to someone at work, I tried to acknowledge the discomfort of being bored, the urge of wanting to be entertained, and sat with that a little bit. Like seriously, what is so boring about walking to the car that I feel like I need to be looking at my phone? I’m sure there are scientific studies that look at how the brain processes content from the phone vs. other inputs. Maybe this “challenge” will just become a habit.

Challenge #2 is to have a Photo Free Day, where you don’t use your phone yo take any pictures for a whole day. I do like to take pictures to remember things, and capture moments. Will report back on how this challenge goes.

Grateful For:
-Walking trails to school. Twice last week, I drove the 7 year old and his friend to school. The first time, was because we missed the bus, so I drove and parked along the trail that goes to the school and we walked the rest of the way – I kind of loathe sitting in the carpool line and thought this would be nicer. The 7 year old said to me, “It’s nice to start the day with a walk!” So on Friday, I asked if he wanted to walk to school again, and he did, so we once again parked on the trail and walked up to the school. I’m grateful that for living in a pretty urban suburb, there are still lots of ways to walk.

-Being home for dinner. Opera season is starting for me, which means a lot of nights and weekends. I’m grateful when I get the evening off and can be home for dinner. I love family dinners.

-Parks and playgrounds. On Saturday, the 12 year old had a birthday party. It was about 25-30 minutes away from home, and we didn’t think it would be efficient to drop off then return, so we took the opportunity to go grocery shopping and to take the two little kids to a playground. I feel so lucky that there are so many parks and playgrounds in our area. You can often find one (or two or three) within a 10 or 15 minute drive of wherever you are in our part of our county. So if ever we need to kill some time, going to a playground is usually a good solution. I’m also grateful that the kids still like playgrounds.

-Not quite getting rid of my car yet. Our van had to go into the shop and we were down one car for a week, so I ended up driving my 20 year old car while my husband drove the Impreza until the van was fixed. I know we are lucky to have three cars for situations like this – even if one car is 12 years old and the other car is 20 years old. Part of me thinks, maybe we don’t need to get rid of my car – it’s good to have an extra car for instances like this. But it is silly and expensive and hard to justify keeping a third car for emergencies when we live a 10 minute walk to public transportation.

Looking forward to:
-Hallowe’en. I’m not working on Hallowe’en this year, so I get to take the kids trick or treating. The costumes have all been chosen. There were some last minute changes, but I stuck firm that I wasn’t making different Hallowe’en costumes, so any changes had to be able to be sourced/purchased.

-Starting rehearsals. We’ve been prepping for the start of rehearsals. It’s always exciting to learn a new score and wrap my brain around new sets and costumes (well, new to me – the costumes are rented and the set takes parts of previous shows and uses them together). At a certain point, however, I am itching to move from the show being in my head to see how it is going to get up on its feet, to see what the singers and creative team is like, to hear the music sung by real live people.

-Soup Party! I’ve organized a soup party for my department at work. I’m excited – and the weather is just starting to turn chilly enough for soup weather. I think I’ll make Chinese corn soup – it’s easy to put together and very tasty. Not sure if I’ll make it vegan (tofu instead of eggs).

-Just started these two books:

In busy seasons, I try to find books that are fun to read and engagingly written right off the bat, and these two books are that, in very different ways. One is about navigating puberty- it gives the science behind the changes that happen and also gives ideas on how to kids about the changes in a wonderfully non-judgmental way.. The other book is a love story that straddles two eras.

What We Ate:
Monday: Pasta Salad. Made before I went to work in the afternoon. Jenny Rosenstrach’s marinated beans, pasta, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers. Vegan.

Tuesday: Soba and herb salad with roasted eggplants and plums. This was simpler than it sounds, but boy was it tasty. I ate it for leftovers the rest of the week. Vegan.

Wednesday: Leftover pizza from the 5 year old’s birthday party.

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: pizza (take out) and Glee

Saturday: The 12 year old was at a birthday party. The husband and I weren’t terribly hungry after a big lunch, so we didn’t eat, but we did buy the two little kids a sandwich to split from the grocery store.

Sunday: Leftovers for me. Yogurt with berries and honey. Toast (again) – PB&J on English muffins for one kid, melted cheese on English muffins for the other kid. Cut up veggies on the side.

How is your October going so far?

(bi)Weekly recap + what we ate: Needs met, then unmet

Sometimes my writing schedule gets off and then I realize it’s been two weeks since and update even though my last post was just last week. Time can be funny like that…

I recently read this beautiful poem : I Remember the Carrots by Ada Limon. It starts with the lines:

I haven’t given up on trying to live a good life,
a really good one even, sitting in the kitchen
in Kentucky, imagining how agreeable I’ll be—
the advance of fulfillment, and of desire—
all these needs met, then unmet again.

Those words- “all these needs met, then unmet again.” has stuck with me. I’ve been thinking lately with regards to many things, work and life. In regards ot work, how there will never be a perfect system. We go through reorganizations and departmental changes, each time hoping that this is the optimal way to run things, but it is never a forever solution. People come and go and bring different talents, fill different holes with their different strengths. Different stressors come up, different duties, tasks to be done. You check the boxes then more things come up on the list. So there is no ultimate system, just a meeting today’s needs.

And in other parts of life – we adjust our lives and patterns to meet needs and then before we know it, things shift and once again there are unmet needs. Kids too. And oneself. Feed ourselves until we are no longer hungry, but then we will be hungry again. File the paperwork so that we get that insurance reimbursement then we have to go to the doctor again. But also things like, tell someone you love them, and then tell them again, because we can continue to meet that need of those around us to be loved. It is an exhausting cycle to think about. But also – there is some wonder in the thought that we can meet needs, that perhaps this is life’ work – to continue to meet needs – physical and emotional. Perhaps that’s the “good life” of the poem?

So along those lines –

It was a really busy few weeks for me. What week isn’t? (Side note – One of my favorite quotes is from an essay by Ursula Le Guin, who, when asked what she does in her spare time, says:
“In my case I still don’t know what spare time is because all my time is occupied. It always has been and it is now. It’s occupied by living.”
I never want to imply that the things that occupy my life and make my life feel frantic, this busyness of a hamster wheel that I feel stuck in sometimes – I would never want to imply that my personal busyness is morally superior than that which occupies anyone else’s time – we all of us occupy our time by living. When did being busy become a virtue? Or is that just the narrative I’ve internalized somewhere? )

Anyhow, the week before last, I took on an event gig, which required me to be at work at 8am. I know many people show up at work at 8am (or even earlier!), and props to them. 8am is a whole new world for me. I basically wake up at 6:00am, eat breakfast, pack lunches, get dressed and leave for work by 7:00am. It feels so much more efficient than my typical mornings which stretch longer (6:45am wake up to 8:50am leave for school bus) and where all those things seem to take up two hours rather than one. I mean, I do sometimes get a yoga stretch in, a bit or reading, a moment to journal. Or sometimes those stretches are occupied by looking for permission slips, or socks, or prepping dinner, or when I’m lucky a couch cuddle with a kid and a picture book. A 7am out the door, however, does not allow for those extra things, though.

The event was a two day affair, a symposium on mental health, and it went pretty smoothly. I was there mostly to help out the stage manager that the producing organization brought, facilitating communication with the crew. There was a lot of setting water glasses onstage and chairs and side tables for the different panels and speakers. Events are interesting to me because the stakes feel so high since you only get one go at it, but also at the same time you only get one try at it, often with minimal/no rehearsal, so the stakes somehow simultaneously feel oddly low. Like you just have to do the best you can to get people where they need to be when they need to be there and if it isn’t 100% smooth, it’s very rarely your fault. Event work is good money, to be honest, and I know many people who just do event work for a living.

But… I think I would miss rehearsal. I like going to rehearsal and creating something and being part of that process. I like taking a hundred people and stirring them all together to make a story onstage. I like watching artists discover how they tell stories and doing my part to make that story happen. And I like working somewhere where I know whom I’m working with and I don’t have to wonder if so and so is going to show up or if they have to cancel at the last minute to testify before congress. Or we have to re-arrange the PowerPoint last minute because the speaker cancelled. There is certainly a thrilling rush of adrenaline to work under the fast paced scenario of an event, but I think it would be exhausting to do that every. single. gig. Maybe I’m too comfortable where I am?

Which, on that note, I did finally move my cubicle at work, so I guess that’s a step towards discomfort. I’d been putting this off since I don’t like change and have been sitting at my original desk for almost twenty years. But someone pointed out that the desk of my predecessor in the Production Stage Manager role was probably better suited for, well, being the PSM since it was in a corner and was bigger and had a couch for sitting and chatting, which is something that happens more now that I have more work responsibilities. I’d delayed and delayed but then we were all getting new computers at work, so I figured it was as good a time as any to move cubicles. I don’t love it – I can’t see when people are in the office because of the way the cubicle walls are set up, but maybe I can move the cubicle walls.

Other fun things:
– Family game night. We often have pizza and movie on Fridays, and sometimes also on Saturdays as well. One week, though, the 7 year old demanded game night. So we had a Saturday game night. Everyone had different ideas for what they wanted to do, so we did all of it – we started by playing King of Tokyo, then we spent some time playing with the marble run and building domino topplings (is that a word?), and then we ended the evening by playing Uno. It was a great time – even with some sore losing and sore winning antics. I’m hopeful we’ll do more game nights.

You can sort of see the 12 year old in the chair at the top of the picture – she’s listening to an audiobook with her earphones on. But hey, she’s in the same room as the rest of us, so it’s still family time, right?

-FIVE! The youngest officially turned five. (Despite the unicorn cake of the last post, her birthday wasn’t until the next day.) They don’t get any younger, I suppose. This past weekend we had her birthday party at a nearby aquarium. It’s a small aquarium mostly focused on local marine life, with one room of tanks and then a huge play space outside. The kids got a tour of all the fish, and got to feed some of them, and also touch some of the animals in the touch tank. Then there was pizza and snacks and cupcakes and play time. I feel like 90% of the reason the 5 year old wanted to have the party at the aquarium was that the outdoor play space is in the shape of a pirate ship.

-No School Day/ Car Free Day. The two older kids had last Thursday off school for Rosh Hashanah. (I mean the calendar doesn’t say that – it just says Non-Instructional Day, but the school calendar doesn’t call it Christmas Break either…) It’s my last no school day with the kids for a while, and I wanted to have an adventure, but the 12 year old was reluctant to visit a museum or go on a hike (the two things I would have done), so we stayed close to home and it ended up being mostly a lovely day. In the morning we “ran” to a cafe and had special drinks and pastries. The run was the 7 year old’s idea. It was a very slow run, punctuated by much walking, but I think both kids felt good about it. At one point, the 7 year old was losing steam and the 12 year old grabbed his hand to encourage him along, telling him we just needed to make it to the next light.

We shared earbuds and listened to musical theatre soundtracks, singing along at the top of our lungs, which got a lot of smiles from other people on the path. After our special drinks and pastries, we walked home (still singing loudly) and had lunch. At some point during the walk home, I had it in my head that I wanted to have a car-free day. So after lunch, we took the metro to my work as an exercise for the 12 year old on how to take the metro on her own. I mean we were with her, but I had her lead the way. Then we went to the library near work, got some books – including Dogman books in French (Super-Chien!) – and then came home. The rest of the day, I baked Brazilian Cheesy Bread and brownies and we watched some tv as a family. It was a pretty low key day, but it was nice to spend time with the two big kids.

Side note: the library we went to was a DC Library, which we don’t often go to since we live in Maryland. I snapped this photo for their Busy Person’s Book Club- I love that idea.

-a new Costco snack. I went to Costco to pick up food for the 5 year old’s birthday party, hoping to also grab another bag of those Chocolate Quinoa Crisps, but they were no where to be found!!!!! Typical of Costco to lure me in with a fabulous snack and then not carry it any more. No worries! Costco does not lack for snacks, and I found a new one – These crunchy savory rice cakes – all my favorite Thai food flavor profiles in a bite sized morsel!

One Not Fun Thing:
-The decluttering has kind of hit a roadblock. I gave away the kids’ play tent on Freecycle. Several mistakes here – I should have double triple checked that they were okay with my giving it away, even though they said okay initially – but the biggest one was giving it away while the youngest was at home. There were tear. So many tears. Heart-wrenching sobs. Our youngest kid is perhaps our most pragmatic child and is the least likely to get upset or feed into melodrama. So when she does get upset, it feels so so heart-breaking. Anyhow, I feel terrible about giving away the tent now and am kind of petrified of giving away anymore toys from the toy room. So much for the toy room purge progress. This definitely needs to get back on track, though.

Two OMG things that I’m probably the last person on earth to have discovered:
– Shaking out the floor mats. Every Wednesday morning, I take the kids to piano lessons. While the 12 year old has lessons, I go get gas. I’ve gotten in the habit of throwing out the trash while I pump gas, and it’s such a simple way to keep the car tidy. Well lately, I’ve also been shaking out the floor mats as well, and what a difference that makes! Vacuuming the car seems like a lot of work, but shaking out the floor mats? With a quick flick, i get rid off all the grass and dirt and what not and the car looks almost like I vacuumed, even though under the floor mat is still covered in grass and dirt and whatnot. I guess this isn’t earth shattering, and I don’t know why it had never occurred to me before to do this, but it makes a huge difference.

-USB plugs! Despite using a computer almost every day of my life for the past thirty years, and having to plug in and unplug USB plugs, and often plugging them in upside down and getting frustrated and wondering if I was missing something – well, you know what? I was missing something. USB plugs are marked! The marked part of the plug is the top. What???? I feel like such an idiot not to have known this. I’ll never try to plug in a mouse upside down again.

Grateful For:

-Flowers in the front walk- a splash of colour during a grey week. The sun has come out now, but last week was so grey and drizzly. Coming home in the rain, I just wanted to rush into the house, but the purple flowers that line our front walk, poking their heads out reminded me to take a moment and savor beautiful things.

-The Husband booking the 5 year olds’ birthday party venue. I will admit I am not a birthday person. Witness the 7 year old not getting a party last year because I just couldn’t get it together. So this year for the youngest kid’s birthday, the Husband took it up on himself to research venues, run the options by the 5 year old, and then book the venue she picked. Done. Once a venue is booked, I’m good at food and other logistics. It’s that first push of the boulder that I’m not good at.

-The guy (D) who comes and fixes things for us. I am not a DIY/ Fix it myself kind of person. I might paint a room, and I have changed a light switch, and I did tile the basement of our first house. But in general, while I like the idea of doing my own DIY projects, I wouldn’t work on a timeline that is acceptable to other people in the house. Enter D, who comes in and will do both small and large jobs for us. He is careful and also honest – if something isn’t in his wheelhouse, he’ll tell us rather than try to figure it out. Anyhow, he was here to paint our new front door, and he’s done such a smooth job that every time I close the front door, I give it door an extra stroke because it’s just so glossy and pretty. He also replaced a light fixture in the kids’ room – I had always hated the fixture that was in the room when we moved it – everything was always so dark. Oh also installed a new medicine cabinet. Now the room is full of light. I’m grateful to D for making out home nicer bit by bit.

Newly stained door!
New (to this room) light fixture!

Looking Forward To:
-Starting a new opera. This week I’ll start prep for my next show. I’m excited to get back to a rehearsal room, but also kind of dreading it. The calendar is very full these next few months and I get overwhelmed thinking about it. One week, one day, one hour at a time, I suppose.

-Going contra dancing! The Husband sent me a link to a contradance that is ten minutes away and suggested that we go. It’s on a Thursday night and there are a million reasons we shouldn’t go – we haven’t been contra-dancing in years, and it might be a disastrously late night for everyone, the kids might hate it – but I’m looking forward to going. The Husband and I met at a contradance, so there’s a special place in my heart for dancing.

-re-setting my phone habits. I was listening to this 2015 episode of Note To Self with Sherry Turkle where she talks about how the mere presence of one’s phone is a huge distraction and I do find that it’s true for me. There are for sure things that I find valuable from having my phone, but also lots that just makes me fell sluggish. I want to be more thoughtful about how my phone plays in my life, so I’m trying this Bored and Brilliant challenge to re-set some habits. It’s supposed to be a 7 day challenge, but some of the challenges I think I’ll do more more than one day. The first challenge was to put one’s phone away while in transit – while driving, walking, on public transportation – and I’m trying to make that a longer habit. I think my goal is not necessarily to reduce time on my phone, but to reduce the number of times I pick up my phone.

– We started this tv show:

It’s sharply hilarious and skewers everyone on the political spectrum, as one might expect of a show about a gay public high school teacher in a school in Austin, TX. As I have a kid who is spitting distance to high school, this show fills me with dread and hope.

What We Ate (two weeks’ worth): I’m going to be real honest. I don’t know what the family ate while I worked the event. Upshot they were fed. Thank you to the Husband and my mother. We’re going into full on opera season, so I want to start thinking through more meals that can be made ahead or that the husband can make quickly.

Monday: Chicken wings and green beans. These are my mother’s chicken wings that the kids always ask her to make. It involves marinating the wings in garlic and soy sauce, pan frying and then baking with honey and more garlic. I could eat a whole panful by myself. Here’s the recipe:

Tuesday: no clue

Wednesday: no idea.

Thursday: Zucchini boats. The Husband cooked. Zucchini stuffed with ground turkey and topped with cheese. I told the seven year old to label the leftovers:

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Glee

Saturday: Toast. We had a lot going on this weekend and we wanted to make sure we had time for game night, so we had the ultimate simple supper. Toast. Some of us had toast and peanut butter, some had toast and jam. There was probably fruit and cut up veggies to go with, but I can’t be sure.

Sunday: Toast again. It was that kind of weekend.

Monday: Sandwiches (grilled cheese) and leftovers. Monday is very activity heavy so we usually have soup or sandwiches on Monday.

Tuesday: Eggplant Dan Dan Noodles, a Hetty Lui McKinnon recipe from the New York Times. Tasty and surprisingly fast, using Japanese eggplant from the farmer’s market. I added tofu, just fried it the same as the eggplant. VEgan.

Wednesday: Lemony White Bean Soup with Turkey and Greens from the NY Times Cooking site. This was really tasty – I started it on teh stove and the finished it in the InstantPot so it would be ready to eat when we got back from gymnastics. I didn’t have ground turkey, but in an effort to clean out our freezer, I took some chicken breasts and chopped it in the food processor. I also chopped up the chayote squash that came in our Hungry Harvest box and which had been confounding me, and threw that in too. After dinner, there was only two or three servings left, so I added another can of beans, a quart of chicken broth and the leftover ground turkey from the zucchini boats, cooked it in the InstantPot for another 15 minutes and then presto! had soup to go into the freezer for a quick leftover meal later this month.

Thursday: Chickpea Sweet Potato Stew when I read this recipe on Suzanne’s site, I immediately screenshot it to make since I had some sweet potatoes to use up. The twelve year old and I thought this was delicious. The rest of the family didn’t love it. The Husband doesn’t like too much coconut milk in his food. Maybe if I had made it with chicken they would have liked it more.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Rush Hour. I had never seen this movie before, and it was very entertaining. For those who are unfamiliar, Rush Hour is a buddy cop movie featuring Jackie Chan as a police officer from China who comes to China when his bosses daughter is kidnapped, and gets paired with a Black LAPD officer played by Chris Tucker to solve the case. I was kind of afraid before we watched that there would be cringe-y Asian stereotypes in it, something that I’m kind of sensitive to the kids seeing. (I had to turn off All Dogs Go To Heaven within the first ten minutes because my kids really don’t need to see a buck toothed slanty eyed dog from “Siam”. Same reason I’ll probably not show my kids Breakfast at Tiffany’s any time soon, even though Audrey Hepburn is sublime in that movie. I wouldn’t say “never” but there would have to be some conversations first.) But Rush Hour was surprisingly free of bad Asian stereotypes and racist jokes. There were definitely “race” jokes, but I do think there’s a fine line between jokes about race and jokes that are racist. And the whole Black Cop/ Asian Cop thing – I don’t know if my kids will ever get how really cool and revolutionary that pairing of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan was. Also -now I want to show them Shaolin Soccer.

Saturday: Leftovers and Bahn mi sandwiches. (I worked this evening)

Sunday: Pizza leftover from the 5 year old’s birthday party. I brought way too much food to the party, but it’s not a bad thing because now I have fruit salad and cut up veggies and chip and guac to last all week. And pizza. I froze one whole pizza for later – I’ve never done this, so I’m excited to try it out.

And now we are into October. Fall and Hallowe’en and all the things! And then the slide into the end of the year. Hope you are having a lovely week, that you are staying safe and dry where you are.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Where I went

First off – I hope people who were in Hurricane Helene’s path are doing okay. My friend’s parents are in North Carolina and luckily they are fine, but there are so many around them who are facing enormous challenges. The devastation is huge and heartbreaking.

We did not do any decluttering last week (though now two weeks ago – you know when you write a post and it kind of sits in your folder because you don’t have time to finish it? Yeah… that was the past couple of days. Which means there will probably be another weekly recap post less than a week after this one) Anyhow, decluttering took a backseat because my parents came into town and I had to work most of Sunday. But for the upcoming week, things on my list:

-List toys on freecycle that we are going to get rid of.
-Take car seats to Wider Circle [note – this is done!]
-Find seam ripper and deal with purple Fort cushions
-Sit in the toy room and imagine what it would take to make it functional
-Maybe tackle the mess under the console table in my bedroom.

We did clean out a large chunk of the fridge- the jars of random condiments, dressings, pickles, kimchi…. It was a little concerning some of the things I found. It seems as if somethings never go bad- I’m looking at you, cranberry relish from Thanksgiving. Though I feel like there was some fermentation happening. Also I have a lot of jars of sourdough starter. Maybe I need to see if there is still life there. I think I need to also do a freezer clean out soon too and eat it down a little.

While I contemplate those things, I thought I’d write another account of where I went this past week. I did this once last Spring, when I was prepping for a show. It’s an interesting journaling technique I read about, which is exactly what it sounds like – recording where I went – and I thought it would be interesting to see what I’m doing now in one of my slower work periods- I’m on a 20 hour per week contract right now.

Monday
8:55am home –> School bus drop off (4 mins)
9:15am school bus drop –> friends’ house. Their kids were sick and I went over to hang out for a little bit with their kids since my friends had to be at work. (5 mins)
2:00pm friends’ house –> trail for a run (3 min drive + 25 min run)
2:30apm trail –> Library to drop off books (10 mins)
3:00pm library –> home (10 mins)
4:00pm home –> pick up 4 year old from daycare –> home again (10 minute walk x 2)
6:45pm home –>12 year old’s basketball clinic the –> home. The gym is walking distance, so I like to have her walk when possible. When she is reluctant, I offer the inducement of going with her and listening to our audiobook together. Right now we’re listening to Permanent Record by Mary H. K. Choi. (15 mins x2)

Tuesday
8:55am home –> school bus drop off (4 mins)
9:3oam school bus drop off –> Target (pick up deodorant and shaving cream) (10 mins)
10:15am Target –> Library –> home (yes! Twice in one week! I had an exciting hold come in, see below) (5 mins/ 15 mins)
11:30am home –> work (15 mins)
7:30pm work –> home (15 mins)

Wednesday
7:05am home —> piano lessons (7 mins)
7:15am piano lessons —> gas station —> bagels shop —> back to piano lessons (25 mins)
7:45am piano lessons —> middle school —> piano lessons (20 mins)
8:20am piano lessons —> home (7 mins)
9:00am home —> bus stop (4 mins)
9:30 am bus stop –> trail –> run/walk (3 mins drive/ 25 min run/ 20 min walk)
10:30am trail –> Hmart to pick up groceries for dinner (10 mins)
11:30am Hmart –> home (10 mins)
12:30pm home –> work (15 mins)
3:00pm work –> pick up 4 year old –> gymnastics class (30 mins)
4:30pm gymnastics –> home (10 mins)
5:30pm home –> work (15 mins)
10:30pm work –> home (15 mins)
THAT WAS A LONG DAY!

Thursday
9:00am home —> school bus stop (4 mins)
9:20am school bus stop -> home (4 mins)
11:30am Home —> work (bike, 25 mins)
3:30pm Work —> home (bike 30 mins)
6:50pm Home—> friend’s house to drop off the two little kids so we can go to —> back to school night at 7 year old’s school (20 mins)
8:30pm school —> friend to pick up littles —> home (20 mins)

Friday
9:00 am home —> school bus (4 mins)
9:20 am school bus —> work (15 mins)
3:50pm work —> 7 year old’s school – he missed his afternoon bus home (10 mins)
4:10 pm school —> home (10 mins)
5:45pm home —> grocery store, to pick up supplies to make a cake (meanwhile, the Husband and the 7 year old went to sewing class) (10 mins)
6:30pm grocery store —> home for the night. (10 mins)

Saturday
10:30a: home —> 7 year olds’s soccer game (15 mins)
12:15pm Soccer game —> home (15 mins)
5:30pm Home —> airport to pick up my parents, or rather cell phone lot. (40 mins)
6:15pm Cell phone lot —> arrivals —> silver diner for dinner (20 mins)
8:15pm Silver Diner —> home (30 mins)

Sunday –
8:55pm Home —> agility class for four year old (15 mins)
10:00am Agility class —> home (15 mins)
11:00a home —> work (15 mins)
11:15am- work —> farmer’s market nearby (5 minute walk)
11:45 am farmer’s market —> work (5 min walk)
3:00pm- work —> coffee run —> back to work (25 min walk)
6:00pm work —> home (20 min drive)

Thoughts from this week’s account of going places: Not a lot of driving this week for myself – just mostly to the bus stop and to work. I’m glad I live near our rehearsal studios and that my commute is usually 15-20 minutes. Proximity is also key for kids’ activities – no activity is more than 15/20 minutes away. My friend’s kid got placed on a soccer team that practices 30 minutes away on a weekday afternoon- getting on the beltway at rush hour would get tiresome really fast.
-That’s 3.5 hours in the car this week. Not bad. that’s 2% of my week. The less time I have to spend in my car, the better.
-I’m glad I got to get on my bike and did some walking.
-For a week on a reduced work schedule I went into work 4 out of 7 days, which feels like a lot. I’m still trying to figure out if I need to find a better rhythm when I have 20 hour weeks – like do I need to work from home more? Do I need to be more efficient with my hours? But each week is unique – different meetings and things to cover, so it’s hard to have a set consistent schedule. (Which reminds me, I need to remove my Out of Office message from this summer…)
-I find having to run errands irksome – Target, grocery store, etc. But I also don’t love constantly ordering from Amazon. Why do we always need stuff?
-We live pretty close to three airports, but I always prefer picking up people at BWI because it’s the simplest to get to. DCA is close to the city so the traffic patterns can be funky, and Dulles has waaaaaay too much traffic to get there. On paper it looks 30 minutes away, but in reality it can take up to an hour. I like picking people up/ dropping them off at the airport whenever we can – I love seeing them on the curb waiting, I love that first happy wave and hug, I love the sense of arrival. Though I’m always reminded of the scene in When Harry Met Sally… where Harry says he never takes people to the airport at the beginning of a relationship because he never wants to get to the stage where they say, “How come you never take me to the airport anymore?” Even in this age of Uber, Lyft, and public transportation, that sentiment still feels applicable today.

Creative project of the week: I baked a cake! I had to work on the youngest kids’ birthday, so we celebrated the night before. She wanted a unicorn cake. The Husband works next to a store that sells cake and cookie decorating supplies, so he popped over there to see if they had unicorn figurines or sprinkles or anything that we could put on a cake. The people who run the shop are very creative and helpful and love to give advice. From the store, the Husband texted me these pictures:

I’ve never done a shaped cake before, so I was a little skeptical, but I decided to give it a go anyway. The 4 (now 5!) year old helped to make the cake, and even though we lost a small chunk of cake as it came out of the pan, I just stuck the chunk back on and frosted away. I was going to pipe the decorations, but by the time I started it was late so I instead really leaned into using the sprinkles:

Interesting podcast episode that I listened to: This episode of House Calls where Surgeon General Vivek Murthy interviews Adam Grant, and organizational psychologist who specializes in work place culture. I listened to this book while mowing the lawn. There was one part that was a little off-putting where Grant talks about finding ways to admit mistakes and be vulnerable at work, and in a lot of ways, I think this is a luxury men are afforded more than women. Why can men admit mistakes and it comes across as being strong but when women do it, it’s perceived as flaky? Is it a tone thing? or an attitude thing? Or my own preconceptions? Not sure on that one…

But aside from that I thought it was was great episode. Grant talks about defining success as process and values based rather than product or achievement based – I thought that was a great point. And about half way through the episode, a really interesting conversation about parenting evolved. Grant talks a lot about getting your children’s buy in. I really liked his suggestion of asking your kids for advice as a way to make them feel important. I’ve started doing this sometimes and I’m surprised by how direct their solutions can be. Usually they say something like, “Do something else.” Inspired by that episode, though, I talked to the Husband and I think we want to implement weekly family meetings. A time for everyone to look at the week ahead and know where everyone is going and see if anyone has any larger family topics to bring up.

When my aunt was visiting a few weeks ago, she made the comment about how nice it was that everyone has a chance to speak at our dinner table. She was referencing how we go around at most dinners and everyone says their Rose, Buds, and Thorns. (ie something good, something they’re looking forward to, and something hard.) My aunt said when her kids were little, they weren’t allowed to speak at the dinner table – they lived with her in laws and dinner was a time for the matriarch of the family to pontificate on what a good family they are and tell the kids how important it was for them to do well in school and activities. So I guess the idea of my kids all getting a turn to speak was novel to my aunt. Dinner is certainly a loud and unchecked affair at our house. There is talking and shouting and getting up and sitting in laps (still)… I don’t know… I kind of love it, this communal chaos. I mean maybe not 100% of the time – sometimes I do just want them to sit down and eat dinner – that’s when we have silent eating time – but I miss out on so many dinners because of my work schedule that I feel like when I can be home for dinner, I want it to feel like a time where we can share and bond. With everyone’s different activities and stresses, I think we will only feel more fractured as a family as the kids get older, so I want to put in structures and routines now – dinner rituals, family meetings, pizza and movie nights – that can feel grounding.

Grateful For
– My parents coming to visit. They are so good about entertaining the kids.

-School adjacent activities. The 12 year old joined the cross country team and the 7 year old is taking programming classes after school. I love that they get to fit in extracurriculars that they can go to straight after school, and I don’t have to drive them. I feel lucky that we live somewhere where they have these opportunities.

– All of you who validated my high school feelings about the preschool WhatsApp group last week. I’m glad I have a place to vent these stressors. So it turns out that the invite to the party went to the whole Whatsapp group the week before I joined, so I guess if I had joined the group earlier, my child would have been invited to the party. So it wasn’t purposefully excluding my kids. I think I’m still trying to figure out if there is anything of value in staying in the group. I do believe in parenting as a community and that we can all support each other, but is being in this group the way to do it?

Looking forward to:
-A new month! It’s October! I feel like after Hallowe’en begins the slow slide towards the end of the year, so October is my one month to enjoy fall. It’s also a really buys time work-wise. I’ve seen some trees with leaves tipped in red and gold already, and on the one hand I feel like it’s too soon, but on the other hand I can’t wait to see all the beautiful fall colour.

-The (now) 5 year old’s birthday party. By the time we got around to booking a place, the only time slots were two weeks after her birthday. Oh well. I’m hoping to keep it super simple – pizza, cake, snacks, fruit, applesauce pouches, juice, and water. Maybe something for the grown ups to snack on too? The party is from 3p-5pm, so hearty snacks are definitely in order. The venue doesn’t allow balloons, so I’m taking this as an opportunity to eschew decor.

-Reading this book, the sequel to The House in The Cerulean Sea.

I loved The House in The Cerulean Sea so much. Some might accuse it of being a slight bit twee, but it was one of my favorite reads the year that it came out. I got a notification from the library that my hold for this book, its sequel, had come in. I had put a hold on this book the moment I could, even before it was released, but even still, I was surprised that my copy had come in so quickly. I went to the library to pick it up, only to discover that I had accidentally put the audiobook on hold, not the paper book. There was a case of CDs waiting for me on my holds shelf. Oh no. I knew the waitlist for this book would be on the longer side, so I sighed sadly and took the book back to the check out desk and asked if they could take the CDs back and put me on the holds list for the book. The librarian looked up the book.
“You know,” he said, pointing behind me, “This book might be over there on the Lucky Day shelf.” The Lucky Day shelf is for books that you can borrow for just three weeks, with no renewal period.
I walked over, and yes, indeed! There was a brand new shiny copy of the book. I might have squealed with delight as I went to check it out. Next to me at the self check out, a man looked at me knowingly and said, “Isn’t it the best feeling when the exact book you want is on the shelf?”
Yes, yes, it is.

What we ate:
Monday: Olive Garden Vegan Gnocchi Soup. This is one of my favorite soups to make – it’s super easy and vegan! Made ahead since I wasn’t home that night.

Tuesday: Fried fish and green beans. The Husband cooked.

Wednesday: Quinoa Black Bean and Mango Salad from America’s Test Kitchen’s Vegan for Everyone. I should get this cookbook out from the library again – it has lots of easy vegan recipes. I made this ahead of time since again, I had to work that night.

Thursday: Baked chicken breasts and steamed green beans. The 12 year old had wanted to make dinner (Cornflake chicken), but she ended up being sick, so I threw this meal together.

Friday: Pizza (ordered from a new to us place that does Detroit style pizza. It was tasty, but apparently getting there is tricky because it involved going into a residential complex.) and movie (Hotel Transylvania. Not one that I need to watch again.)

Saturday: Silver Diner on the way home from the airport. I got the liver and onions.

Sunday: We celebrated the 4–> 5 year old’s birthday early because I had to work on her actual birthday. She got to pick the dinner and she chose Dino chicken nuggets, green beans, and tater tots. And of course the cake.

She did take the Elsa dress off before we had cake. She’s really sensible like that.

Stage Management Skills in Real Life: Letting them tie their own apron strings

The apron collection in our kitchen.

I occasionally write about ways that aspects of my job intersects with my life. People often expect me to be some kind of organizational guru because I’m a stage manager, but truth… I don’t think I am. It’s a little chicken and egg for me. Am I a good stage manager because I have good organizational skills or did I learn good organizational skills because I became a stage manager. I think a lot of it is the latter. I have to work really hard to not seem like a professional mess, and occasionally those skills in the workplace are useful in the rest of life.

Anyhow, this one isn’t actually a stage management skill, but more a mind blowing tip turned life advice I got once while on the job.

I mentioned a few weeks ago about attending a retirement party of a dear dear colleague who was retiring after thirty plus years at my company. She has taught me so much in the twenty years I’ve known her. One of my favorite turns of phrases comes from her, “Managing expectations.” I’d never heard anyone else say that until she came into rehearsal one days and said to the director, “I need to manage you expectations on what will be ready the first time you rehearse onstage.” What a gentle, level headed, non-panic inducing way of saying, “We’re behind in our work and there are things that won’t be ready.”

But this tidbit came from seven or eight years ago, we were working on a production of The Marriage of Figaro. There was a scene where the maid Susanna had to take her apron off. She starts the scene with her apron on, so at the top of every rehearsal, I would help her into her rehearsal skirt then tie the apron on her since the bow was in the back. Some days, during the scene, the apron would come right off, and some days it would be a tangled mess and the singer would get frustrated as she tried to sing and fumble with apron strings.

One day, my colleague M was watching rehearsal, and saw the singer struggle with untying the apron strings. At a pause in rehearsal she came up to me and the singer and suggested to the singer, “Why don’t you tie the apron on yourself. “

The singer did so.

Then M said, “Reach around and untie it.”

And then magically, the singer was able to reach around an with one tug smoothly untie the apron.

Afterwards, M said to me, “If you let them tie their own apron strings, they’ll know which tail to grab to untie it. When you tie it for them, the strings sit differently from what they expect and they’ll get tangled.”

It was such a clear and simple thing, but I had never thought about it before. Trust the lady who has spent forty years tying apron strings to point this out to me. By letting someone get into something themselves, they will be able to see (or feel) more clearly how to get out of it. (I mean there are exceptions, of course. Corsets, for one.) It’s similar to another piece of advice from a mentor early in my stage management days, “Never hand a singer their prop. teach them where the prop table is, otherwise you’ll spend all your time handing people props.”

It was hard advice for me to internalize – as a stage manager, I feel like I should help people. I want to make life as easy for them as possible, remove obstacles, give them as little to do so they can just concentrate on the work they do onstage. But I’m realizing it’s more work and potentially frustration- for me, for the crew, for the singer themselves – when they get everything handed to them without learning the ropes (apron strings?) themselves. They need to be able to find the prop table back stage and the correct apron string when it comes time to take the apron off.

I think about M’s words often in my non-work life, too – particularly with my kids. I turn around in my head the difference between doing something for my kids and letting them discover something for themselves. Of letting them climb to the top of the play structure, discovering where each foothold is, rather than giving them a boost and bypassing those footholds. Because those are the same foothold that they need to know to climb back down. If they don’t find them going up, will they be able to find them coming back down? Or so many other things – if they put away the dishes, they’ll know where to find them later; same thing with backpacks and bike helmets and homework and friendships – though, we are still working on all these ones, truth be told. But you know, you can’t rescue everyone. And sometimes inserting yourself just mucks things up even more.

So as as a tribute to the wonderful M on her retirement, I am passing along her wise wise words to the world – “Let people tie their own apron strings.”

Have you ever received advice from a work colleague that’s stuck with you?

Weekly recap + what we ate: September Stressors

Declutter-palooza continues. This past weekend it was the toy/play room. Toy room before:

After:

It’s still pretty bad, but at least you can see the floor!

Decluttering the toy room felt a lot harder than the attic. I think partly because the toy room needs to become a hybrid toy room/guest room/office/ craft room, we’re going to have to really think about functionality and efficiency of space. Also a lot of the toys have sentimental value. The tabletop kitchen was something the prop crew head at one of my summer gigs helped me make one summer when the oldest kid was two or three. A lot of the trucks were from the Husband’s childhood. The Barbie apartment was a much beloved toy and even though it’s missing the balcony and is probably a safety hazard of exposed screws, the 12 year old does not want to get rid of it.

The black bin is full of toys to donate or Freecycle, so that will get moved out. We threw out two bags of toys but it was mostly small plastic trinkets and things that were broken or missing pieces. A lot of the bigger items and sets still remain. This is my struggle with the toy room – most of the stuff is the bigger things. We can throw out all the small plastic party favors and fidget toys and broken Barbies, but that barely makes a dent.

What I think is still in the “keep pile”:
-Wooden Train Track set
– Magnaformers
-Wooden blocks
-A box of matchbox cars and similar small vehicles
-Trucks, School bus, recycle truck, Jumbo jet, space ship, remote control car
-box of puzzles.
-Domino set – where you can set up dominos to topple.
-A box of stuffed animals
-Play shopping cart and dolls
-Play grocery stand
-Two doll houses and furniture (why two?? They’re both from the Husband’s childhood)
-a container of figurines
-the aforementioned play kitchen, food, pots and pans
-Nugget play cushions
-Dress up clothes. So many dress up clothes.
-Lincoln Logs. Genuine wooden ones from the Husband’s childhood.
-Lego set and Barbie paraphernalia, but this will go into the 12 year old’s room eventually so I don’t have to decide what to do with it.
-Four stomp cars.

On the “TBD” pile:
-Fort play cushions. These are huge cushions you can use to build forts. We bought it as part of a Kickstarter. Only the thing got recalled because there are magnets that hold the cushions together and the magnets can fall out. But I figure if I can take the magnets out, we can still use the cushions. But I can’t find my seam ripper. So TBD on that.

All in all, I’m finding this decluttering process rather stressful. Not just the decluttering, but also the figuring out of new systems, trying to set a baseline clean level that can be easily achieved. It’s the kind of thing where I can’t really see right now where the solutions are. So even though I think we’ve whittled down the toys by a lot, the room still looks really cluttered and messy.

I felt a lot of latent stressors percolating last week. Just a general feeling of overwhelm and restlessness. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself an anxious person, but I did have some moments of feeling absolutely swamped. Things that were simmering in my stress cauldron last week:

-Mom guilt – signing my kids up for too many extracurriculars. Originally we had Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday without activities, but then opportunities came up and now we have activities on Wednesday and later in October Tuesday too. Each kid is doing at least three activities. Is it too much?

-Mom guilt – signing my kids up for not enough extra extracurriculars. And on the flip side, I’m getting notices of other things the kids could take part in, and I know that they are things that the kids would enjoy and I wonder, are they missing out?

– Not keeping track of all the different sign ups and what not. This is sort of related to the above, but there are a couple of things that we missed out on because I just couldn’t get my head together to do the sign ups or submit medical forms. And I keep double booking things and missing meetings. And it just makes me feel like things are falling through the cracks.

-Starting back at work and not quite knowing everything that’s going on. I have this feeling in the back of my mind that I’m missing something. I’m just going to have to fake it until I figure out what’s going on.

-Are we going to have a good time in Malaysia this winter? It’s an awful lot of money to spend to not have a good trip.

-WhatsApp group insecurities. So there’s a WhatsApp group for the 4 year old’s pre-school class. When my friend first added me, I thought it would be a nice way to get to know other parents. I even thought I’d reach out and invite people over for a happy hour since we live very close to the school. BUT then people started posting pictures and “Thanks for having us!” and “What a great time!” and “Thanks for coming!” messages for a party that my kid was not invited to. And I got really upset about it. I mean if you are going to a party that not every kid in the class was invited to, then maybe don’t mention it on the WhatsApp group? And then someone mentioned getting drinks on another person’s porch and I just started to feel very – well I’d say “high school” but I didn’t go through this in high school, so not sure what to call this feeling of being left out. And really, I’m probably reading too much into it – no one is being malicious or mean or anything. Just a little exclusive and insensitive about who all might be on the group. What I really want to do is to drop a message introducing myself, and ask if other people could do the same since most of the phone numbers in the group are unfamiliar to me. But… there are 40 names on the chain, so asking for introductions seems a little impractical. I was also reading an article last week about how people are more likely to connect during the beginning stages of an activity, and it’s made me realized that I feel like I’ve missed the boat on making friends within this WhatsApp group. Anyhow, I kind of need to get over my feelings about this list. This is not something that I need to spend mental energy on.

And then there is the things that are perpetually on my list of stressors – namely my ancient car and the window treatments for the living room. I feel like around last year at this time I wrote a post about things making me stressed- so maybe it’s just September that brings it on? I have to remind myself either I will fix some of these issues and they will stop stressing me out, or I will just decide they aren’t worth the real estate they are taking up in my head and leave things to resolve themselves.

Well, on the other hand – some fun things that happened last week.
-I had one of my supertitle gigs (more on that below!), and on my dinner break got to walk around the performing arts center and see some beautiful evening sky and listen to some music.

-We started weekend activities. One child had a soccer game on Saturday. On Sunday there was the usual Agility class for the 4 year old, and then skating for the the 4 and 7 year old. Since the skating lessons are back to back time slots, I will take the kid who is not in a lesson to public skate and then switch. Skating is so much fun!

-Friendship Picnic. After skating on Sunday, we had to have lunch, and I remembered that the County was having a Friendship Picnic at a nearby park where they would be serving free lunch. The shuttle to the picnic left from the ice rink parking lot, so I figured we could go check out the picnic.
I was so impressed by the whole affair! The Friendship Picnic has been going on for ten years and I never went because I always thought it would be a madhouse. Surely, anything that promised free food and bounce houses was going to be chaotic, and I don’t like being in chaotic crowds. But the whole thing was actually really well organized. When you arrived, if you wanted lunch, you picked up a wristband for a lunch option – the choices were vegetarian/kosher, Halal, and vegan, and there were wristbands for ice cream. There were also multiple coolers full of bottled water all over for people to grab. I picked the vegetarian/kosher option and we went to the tent that matched our wristband and got falafel in pita with fries. It was so delicious – the pita in particular was fluffy and not dry. The kids (I only had the two younger ones with me) didn’t eat much of their falafel, but they ate the fries. Oh well.
We sat in the shade and ate our lunch while listening to some county officials give speeches and when that was over, a band started playing music. When the kids were done eating, we went to the bounce houses. The 7 year old in particular loved this basketball connect four game and spent a while at it. When the kids got tired of the bounce houses, they went to the playground. All in all it was a lovely event. I’ll have to remember to mark my calendar for the Friendship Picnic next year.

-An interesting comment – I had posted a few weeks ago about how my biracial kids were the norm not the exception at school these days. I often think, with my kids, how important it is to see themselves reflected in mainstream media. I remember growing up in a small city in Canada where there were only a handful of Asian families. In my K-8 elementary school, our family and one other family from India were the only non-white families. There were no Black families. I remember wanting to be blond when I was a child; I thought you had to be blond to be pretty because that was what was around me and what I saw in the mainstream media. Anyhow, I was musing in that post about how long we’ve come – how my kids don’t have to be the only half-Asian kids in their class and how they see so much more diversity in their lives than I did growing up. And then we were watching a trailer for the first Transformers movie and the 12 year old sees Megan Fox on the screen and suddenly exclaims, “She’s really hot. And she’s not blond! Mom, she has dark hair like me and she’s so pretty!” And I didn’t know whether to feel thankful/happy that my 12 year old realizes that she didn’t have to be blond to be pretty, or to be sad that she ever even felt that way.

-Fun contrasting picture – I feel like this is the modern day equivalent to throwing everything in the dishwasher to hide the mess when guests come over – I had to jump on a work call one day while at home and I frantically pushed everything to one end of the dining room table to make room for my computer at the other end. This is what you saw on my screen:

This is what was behind the computer:

I’m not one to have a super curated zoom background for sure, but I’m going to at least pretend that my house is not a disaster.

Grateful For:
-Middle School Administrators. The 12 year old had an incident in school – not my story to tell, but even though I’m a pretty hands off parent, it was something I felt had to be addressed by the teacher. So I wrote an email to the teacher and the next morning, the Assistant Principal called me and told me the matter had been forwarded to him and the issue had been addressed. He was patient and told me what he did on his end and answered all my questions. I’m so grateful for the quick and compassionate response. I feel like middle schoolers can be so mercurial and confusing to deal with as they try to figure out how to navigate independence and making good choices – I’m so thankful for the administrators and teachers who are there to support tweens and their parents.

-Being able to print at the Library. We don’t have a printer at home. Usually when I need to print something the Husband or I will do it at work, but neither of us were at work the day I needed to submit medical forms for the 12 year old to join the cross country team at school. So I went to the library, loaded money on my library card and printed the forms off there. It was $1.50 for ten pages and very easy to do. while at the library, I looked at all the people working at the four rows of public computers and I thought of all the people who don’t have internet access at home and who need to go online for whatever reason – it seems like so many things have to be done online these days. What a wonderful thing the library is!

-My dentist and having dental insurance. I had a dentist appointment for a cleaning. It’s been over a year since my last cleaning, but I had to cancel my last appointment and the next availability was three months away, so it got away from me. I love my dentist and hygienist. They are nice, funny, they remember me. The aren’t in my insurance network, but they submit the paperwork to get everything reimbursed. And now my teeth feel smooth and clean!

-Good diction and imslp.com. Okay – this will be one of those “in the weeds” work type things, so apologies if it’s boring or if don’t explain it very well, but .. I had a supertitle gig for a voice recital last week. The first piece on the program was Franz Liszt’s Three Songs on Petrarch Sonnets. So the recital starts, the pianist starts playing and I’m following along in my music so that I can bring up the right translation slides at the right time to coincide with the singing. And suddenly I don’t quite know what is going on, because I can’t seem to follow the music. I think, maybe I can’t hear the pianist that well since I’m sitting in a booth at the back of the theatre? Maybe it’s because she’s playing too quietly? Maybe I’ve forgotten how to read music? Then the singer starts singing and it is definitely not what is on the page in front of me. The words are correct, but not the notes. At this point, I’m starting to panic a little bit because I’m realizing that I don’t have the right music in front of me. Which is concerning because I now don’t know when to advance the slides to the next bit of text since I don’t know when the next sung line is coming. So with one hand, I keep trying to keep the slides going to correspond to the words coming out of the singer’s mouth, with my other hand, I get out my phone and google “Liszt Petrarch songs”. And…
Did you know that Franz Liszt wrote two sets of songs based on the sonnets of Petrarch?
And I had the music for the wrong set in front of me.
Luckily the words are the same, and the singer has very clear diction, so I could keep up with the titles, though they were each a half beat late so that I could figure out which line he was on at any given time. And on my phone, I was able to go to this amazing website IMSLP (International Music Score Library Project, where they have legions of scores that are in the public domain) and pull up the right score and by the middle of the second song I was back on track – looking at the right music on my phone, while looking at the slide translations and numbers on my computer and iPad as the singer sang the set. So… I am grateful that the singer had good diction so I could follow the words when I couldn’t follow the music, and I’m grateful for imslp that i could quickly find the music. Isn’t the internet amazing?

Looking Forward To:

-My parents are coming for a visit!

– Baking a cake! The 4 year old turns five next week and I’m going to bake her a cake. She has also requested dino chicken nuggets for dinner. I need to find those.

-I mentioned this book in my books post, and it’s so much fun I can’t wait to read it every day. Sometimes I feel like my life is a suburban mom cliche and this novel plays into those cliches hilariously. There is a line about Old Navy Pixie Pants that made me snort with laughter.

What We Ate:

Monday: Zucchini, tofu and udon by Hetty Lui McKinnon from New York Times Cooking. Super easy -stir fry crumbled tofu, add sliced zucchini and garlic, add cooked udon noodles and a miso butter sauce. Grind lots of pepper over it. The 7 year old really loved this. vegan because I used olive oil instead of butter for the sauce.

Tuesday: Chicken with Apples and Curry from Dinner a Love Story. The flavors were good, but I have never been able to cook chicken breasts without the bieng stringy and tough. Tips?

Wednesday: Sandwiches from the Deli. The 7 year old had soccer practice at 6pm and we’re still trying to figure out how best to handle dinner on those days.

Thursday: Mac n Cheese, Waffles, and green beans. The Husband cooked and he had leftover waffles which we could have for breakfast, which is one of my favorite parts about making waffles. I worked this night and had a salad from the work Canteen.

Friday: Pizza (Store bought, Detroit style), and Hotel Transylvania. This movie did not do anything for me.

Saturday: We had dinner at a friend’s house – he smoked some meat and made some amazing baked beans. Apple pie for dessert.

Sunday: Eggs and leftovers. There was a Bears game on this night which we were planning to watch. At some point I looked at the Husband and said, “What are we going to feed the kids for dinner?” And he said, “I was going to make popcorn.” I must have given him a disapproving wife look because he then said, “I’ll make some eggs.”

How was your week? Does your zoom background belie the true chaos of your home? What were your three favorite toys growing up?

Books Read – August 2024

I feel like I read a lot of books in the first few weeks of August and then really slowed down for the next little bit. Eight books read in August.

The Rakess by Scarlett Peckham – This novel was on a list by Alexis Hall of romance novels that he likes. The Rakess takes the trope of the rake who is saved by a virtuous and upstanding woman and gender flips it. The book opens with the female protagonist, Seraphina Arden, in bed with someone and wondering how long she has to cuddle before she can kick him out. Seraphina embodies all the stereotypical rake behavior that one finds in romance novels – drinking, late night carousing, easy affairs. She meets Adam, a fine upstanding, morally uncorrupt widower with kids. Romance novel type things ensue. I was really intrigued by this premise, but ultimately the characters still felt like romance novel cliches with romance novel cliche trauma to justify the way they behave, and the writing was somewhat stolid and awkward. There are some intriguing side characters and progressive ideas about social reform, but ultimately everything was just kind of flat for me.

I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith – for Engie’s Cool Blogger’s Book Club. Thank you to Engie for organizing! I really liked a lot of this book, but I think the book kind of lost me with the whole “Lock Father in the Tower” bit and the resolution of the novel was kind of madcap. I also didn’t love the framing device of the journal – it seemed a little precious for my tastes. I did like the whimsy, the sense of time and young adulthood, the fantasy of being genteelly poor, Topaz – Topaz was great. So I put this book under, “Glad I read it, now can I watch the movie?”

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier – When I was watching trailers for I Capture the Castle, youTube also brought up trailers for a 2020 movie version of Rebecca that came out on Netflix, and that sent me down a rabbit hole. You know, Rebecca, that novel about the young plain something who gets swept off her feet by a much older man and then goes to live in his manor estate and is haunted by the memory of his first wife. I don’t have Netflix so I couldn’t watch the movie, but I was transfixed by the clips I saw online. Then I decided to re-read the book. I remember reading Rebecca when I was in seventh grade and thinking it was the best book ever. I don’t know what it is with me thinking that lying manipulative men were romantic when I was a pre-teen/teen. (See: my obsession with Jane Eyre.) I thought it still held up as a creepy disturbing suspense novel, but I find it creepy and disturbing for different reasons now.

The Turnout by Megan Abbott – This is a suspense/thriller about sisters Dara and Marie Duront who run a ballet school along side Dara’s husband Charlie, a former pupil of their mother’s. There is a fire and a burly contractor comes to fix the damage, inserting himself into their lives and throwing off the delicate balance of the trio’s dynamic. All this against the backdrop of the annual Nutcracker production, which in itself is a high pressure situation. The novel is twisty and twisted as plot elements get revealed and unraveled. It’s not a genre I read much, but stories set in the performing arts world always attract me and I thought the writing was really spare and direct. It’s a page-turner for sure, and I liked the backstage glimpses, but ultimately, I was reminded that I don’t usually read suspense novels because I don’t like being tense all the time, waiting for (pointe) shoes to drop.

So Late in the Day: Stories of Men and Women by Claire Keegan – This is a trio of short stories, each in their own way about loneliness and inability to connect with people. I’d read Keegan’s Foster, and like that book, the writing in these stories is neat and unfussy, but also a little hard for me to grasp – things dance on the surface and I don’t ever feel like I know what is going on. I kind of feel like this is why people like Keegan’s writing so much – there is something very simple about it, but also it hides untold depths. I think what I liked about Foster, more than these stories, was that Foster had moments of genuine connection – in the stories in So Late in the Day, everyone just seems to want to be alone.

Blankets by Craig Thompson – autobiographical graphic novel about Thompson’s abusive sad childhood growing up in an Evangelical church, his struggle with religion, and his relationships with his family and his first love. So my first thought on reading this book was, “What a lot of work it takes to write a graphic novel!” Seriously, this book was like three inches thick and took me so long to read because it was to heavy to take anywhere. So there’s always a bit of awe and respect for the process behind a graphic novel and the skill involved to write, draw, and pace a story. The actual book itself was fine. It was kind of hard for me to get over the fact that even though his parents are strict Christians, 16 year old Craig was allowed to go visit his “girlfriend” Raina (the relationship was a little undefined) a couple hours away, and stay with her family for a week. I don’t know – maybe I had a super sheltered childhood, but that definitely wouldn’t have been something I was allowed to do. This book is often billed as a great romance, and I didn’t find it particularly romantic because Raina didn’t seem like a fully fleshed out character. The parts that were most effective for me were the parts about family and looking out for each other and letting them go. And the artwork was beautiful – the kind of stuff where I felt like I would never really see all there is to see in one picture because there was so much detail.

Drive your Plows over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, translated by Antonia Lloyd-Jones – I picked this book up from a Little Free Library, can’t remember why. Maybe I thought I should read some translated fiction by a Nobel Prize winner. I have to admit it took me while to get into this book, but then by the end, when it turned into a full fledged murder mystery, I was like, “Whoa, where did that come from??” It was like the book started out as something really cerebral and then in the last third switched genres on me. It took me several months to read this book, but I wish I had read this book in a more concentrated manner because by the time I got to the murder mystery reveal, I’d forgotten what had happened in the first half of the book and had to go back an re-read it. The main character, Janina, is a recluse in a Polish village who studies Blake and astronomy and teaches kids English and loves animals. She doesn’t use people’s names, instead referring to them by outstanding characteristics. People die. She gets involved in a meandering kind of way while interacting with other misfits. This book takes place in winter and the cold just comes off the page. All in all, I think this is book is way more accessible than I realized at first.

Funny Story by Emily Henry read by Julia Whelan: I hadn’t read any Emily Henry before, and I thought the premise of this one was cute – after Daphne’s fiancé runs aways with Miles’ girlfriend, Daphne and Miles move in together since she needs a place to live and he needs a new roommate. I listened to the audiobook. Also Julia Whelan. I really believe that Whelan can make any book absolutely riveting. So really, who knows if I liked this book or not! Actually I did like a lot of it – I thought the protagonists were adorable and liked the way female friendships developed in the book. There was some pretty typical romance novel BIG MISUNDERSTANDINGS and roadblocks, stuff that felt a little contrived, to be honest. Stuff of the, “Just pick up your phone!” nature. But I didn’t mind it. Over all there were several parts where I laughed out loud while driving, and both the leads were just so nice and earnest that I was totally rooting for them.

On my Nightstand – These books have all been in progress from my last book post – clearly September has been a slow month for reading.

The Brontes: Wild Genius on the Moors by Juliet Barker- Last chapter! Charlotte’s final book is published posthumously.

You Dream of Empires by Alvaro Enrigue – I really want to just sit down and read this book in one sitting because the chapters are short and I keep losing the narrative thread and forgetting who the characters are. But each chapter is really interesting – I just have no idea how the whole book is tied together.

The History of Women in 101 Objects by Annabell Hirsch- latest chapters: The dance card, Tupperware, the Bikini, Greta Garbo’s Ballpoint pen.

It’s Elementary by Elise Bryant – Overworked mom Mavis is guilted into heading the PTA’s new DEI committee. Then the principal goes missing. I’m only one chapter in, but this book is the lighthearted comedy I need right now.

Weekly recap + what we ate: September 2024 aspirations and Declutter-palooza update

First weekend of Declutter-palooza happened!

Here is the Attic BEFORE:

No attic is complete with out a naked Cabbage Patch Doll!

Here is the Attic currently:

Still lots of stuff, but a lot less!

We (I) tried to use the “No Mess Declutter method” which is, honestly one of those things like “time blocking” where I think… well isn’t that just how people do things anyway? (How is “dedicate blocks of time to work on each task” revolutionary? It totally seems like a productivity bro trying to sell something people (women) have been doing for years…) Anyhow the method is – pick up one thing. Decide if it goes in trash, donate, or has another home in the house. If it’s the two former choices, put it in the correct pile. If it’s the last choice, go put it in that better place. Come back. Pick up another object. Rinse. Repeat. I kind of wanted to avoid taking everything out of the attic and then having it take over the house while we dealt with it. So this method seemed to make sense. It wasn’t perfect – there are definitely meandering piles of things around the house that we are still thinking about – but at least you can walk from one end of the attic to another now.

A lot of our stuff just got moved to a better space in the house, but a lot of it legit left the house. I took five bags of clothes to Goodwill, we put a bunch of stuff out for bulk trash pick up, I took the toddler bed, a stroller, and some more clothes to an organization (A Wider Circle) that helps people furnish their homes. They also have started taking baby supplies and clothes, so any clothes smaller than a size 3 went to Wider Circle. I learned that they also take car seats so three of our four car seats are going there next week too.

Things we got rid of that I’m sad about:
-The stroller. We had a fancy stroller – an UppaBaby Vista which we got on super discount because it was the floor model at Buy Buy Baby. The Husband really loved this stroller. It got us through three kids and lasted ten years before the frame broke. It’s been to England. It’s been all over the country. It’s been pushed down stairs. One summer, in the middle of a trip to Dutch Wonderland, the frame just broke. The youngest was almost three at the time and that was when we stopped using strollers.
-The twin mattress. It was a crappy mattress, but I feel like maybe I should have tried to take it to Wider Circle rather than leave it for bulk pick up.
– And I can’t think of anything else really. Maybe a couple items of baby clothes? Of course there are things that we kept for sentimental reasons that we aren’t quite ready to move out of the house yet. But it’s a process, right?

One thing that felt really cathartic to toss:
-breastmilk containers. I had an entire 18 gallon bin full of breastmilk containers and bottles. Why???? I haven’t pumped in three years. I think in my mind I’d find some use for all those teeny tiny bottles. Hah. I put them all in recycling. Bonus: I got an 18 gallon bin back!

Things I’m a little perplexed about, but which will probably just get thrown in the trash:
-The stroller attachments – so we put the broken stroller out on the curbe, but we still have all the attachments – the car seat frame, the rumble seat, the scooter board, the bassinet. Most of the this stuff I scoured craigslist (remember that… does anyone use craigslist anymore?) to get. Only we have a Vista v. 1, which they don’t make anymore so our attachments won’t fit current Vista stroller. I’m going to email UppaBaby and see if there is any way these attachments are still useful. I makes me a little sad to just junk it because the attachments weren’t actually used all that much.
-Baby bottles. What to do with all these? Do they even sell nipples for these anymore? I might put them on Freecycle to see if anyone wants them. Also this process has hammered home to me how much plastic is involved in having a baby.

One thing that was destined for the trash until a child found it:
-my father in law’s briefcase. The 7 year old found it and loves it. He keeps his nerf gun and light saber in it, like some kind of toy mafia gangster or something.

Next stop – the Toy Room….

Picture for accountability

The toy room will definitely be harder because everything in it has some kind of sentimental value for someone. We had thought about doing it without the kids, but I feel like that would some kind of betrayal of the kids’ trust. So we will do it together. Or try.

In other musings – turn of the calendar page to a new month, brings reflection and aspirations.

Side note – I really liked this article about the three types of “ritual days” one should incorporate into their month:
-“Get your ducks in a row” day to take care of life admin tasks
-“Idle Hands” day without any plans or commitments to unplug and rest and refresh.
-“Monthly Recap of the Mind” day to reflect on the last month and plan for anything upcoming. I feel like I take time to do this already, but I could be more mindful about it.
I feel like I have moments of each of those days, sometimes all in one day. But I like the idea of purposefully setting dates for each of those things in the calendar and letting each task take the focus for one day (or even 4-8 hours of one day.)

August highlights:
– Working on a wonderful show. I’m terrible at lying and when people ask me how a show went, sometimes I give a half grin and say, “It was fiiiiiiiine….” And then you know it was kind of a shit show. BUT – people have been asking me about this last show I worked on and I immediately light up and say, “It was great, really, really great.” And I mean it.
– Camping with the two younger kids.
-Solo weekend when I went hiking with a friend and to the Cassatt exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
-meeting up with a friend whom I haven’t seen for five or six years at that Cassatt exhibit.
-First day of School!
-Visit from my mom and my aunt.
-Booking medical check ups and finding out that my uterii are fine.
-Peach Truck and other trips to the farmers market for fresh produce. (note to self – do more of this next summer)

August Low Lights:
-The 4 year old not getting into kindergarten. Made especially tough to swallow by the tuition increase at her daycare.
-Not having time to exercise – I only ran 7 times the whole month.
-hemorrhaging money a little bit for back to school things and activities.

September Aspirations – I realize looking back on August’s list that many of these things were on August’s list as well.
Home/Family Life:
-Declutter-palooza. See above.
– Settle into new patterns for the school year. Try to establish some good habits and routines.
– Get rid of my car. Clearly I’m making no progress on this since it shows up on this list every month. Micro goal – fill our the paperwork to donate the car to the high school trade program.
-Window treatments for the living room. Ditto above. Micro goal: Schedule appointment with the window people.
– Do some planning for a day trip to take while in Kuala Lumpur. (I’m feeling a little like we chose Kuala Lumpur too hastily because the parts of Malaysia that people say are worth visiting are outside of Kuala Lumpur, but with only four days, it might be too much for us to try to arrange to visit those places and get in the relaxing time that we want. But then part of me feels like any foreign country is worth seeing, right? I don’t really understand when people say “such and such place isn’t worth visiting.” It sounds so snobbish. The world is bigger than just the top ten sights, right?)
-Plan the 4 year old’s birthday party. (The Husband actually has booked the place already – I just have to make the invite and plan the food.)
-Make Cheesy bread. When we were visiting my friend in August, she made these really easy gluten-free cheesy buns, which she had learned about on her trip to Brazil. They were delicious. Fall is coming – I want to do more baking!
– make 2 vegan dinners a week.
-Figure out Hallowe’en costumes. October will be super busy for me, so I want to get this settled as soon as possible. So far, the 7 year old wants to wear his Darth Vader costume again and the 4 year old wants to be a fairy. Not sure about the 12 year old. Is 12 too old to go trick or treating?
-Schedule dentist appointments for the kids.
-Hike now that the weather is starting to cool off a little maybe I can convince the family to go for a hike. If not, maybe I can go on my own.
-Ride the Metro! Our metro station has re-opened after being closed all summer.

Me:
– 10 minutes of yoga or strength exercises 5/7 days a week.
– run 3/7 days a week
– Paint and send two cards.
– Blog – goal for 8 posts this month.
– Make time to journal and read in the morning.
-Schedule eye doctor appointment.
-To buy – purse (still), running/sports bras (I currently have three, but I only do laundry every two weeks, so I need more sports bras if I’m to run 3X a week.), a Fall jacket that isn’t my raincoat.
-see my friend K.
-Museum – maybe not this month, but writing it down so I don’t forget – there’s an exhibit on Impressionism at the National Gallery of Art until January. I want to make sure to go see it. There’s also a couple exhibits at the Freer and Sackler Museums (The Smithsonian’s Asian Art Collections) that look interesting too. There’s also a Lego exhibit at the Building Museum that would be fun with the kids.

Work:
-move desks at work.
-put all my contracted work dates into the calendar.
-update the production assistant guidebook.

Amazing Food Combination Discovery:
A little while ago, I wrote about discovering these chocolate quinoa crisps at Costco. Well, last week, I just made them better but spreading peanut butter on them. AMAZING. You’re welcome.

Grateful For:
-Cooler weather. Of course I wrote that then we got a row of 80 degree days. The mornings have been cooler at least. I’m excited for fall weather!

-Co-worker M who retired last week. She’s been at the Opera twice as longa s I’ve been there and has been so inspirational to me. She can be firm and gracious at the same time, and always makes sure that everyone is doing okay. There was a farewell party for her at work last week. I hate saying good-bye to people, but I had to tell her how amazing she has been. And she said the kindest thing to me – “You are proof that if you do consistent good work, you can get to the top of your department.” That almost made me cry. She also said she feels like the stage management department is a lot calmer since I took over. I don’t know that that is my doing, but I was so touched that she said that. I made her a card, because I thought she deserved a bouquet of flowers:

I’m really happy with how that purple ribbon turned out. That dark green Venus fly trap-ish leaf at the top, though… what even is that?

-Free dances and a lovely Sunday afternoon. We took the family to a Barn Dance last weekend at Glen Echo park. These are family friendly dances put on by the same group that organizes contra dances. (The Husband and I met at a contra dance at this same park.) Glen Echo is a former amusement park that is now kind of an arts/theatre/music/social dance venue. The Barn Dance takes place in the former Bumper Car Pavilion and it was free. There was a caller, live music and easy social dances. The kids all danced at least two dances and afterwards we went for a carousel ride ($2/ride or $5 to ride all day – one of the best deals in town!). Afterwards we went for ice cream at a new-to-me creamery. I had a scoop of the Guava ice cream and a scoop of the Old Bay Caramel. They were both really really really good. I was skeptical about the Old Bay Caramel, but if you like spice, savory, and sweet all in one – and I do – this might be right up your alley.

Looking Forward To:

-Public transportation. Like I mentioned above, our metro stop was closed all summer, and it has now re-opened. I’m looking forward to taking it places. I even took it to work once last week.

Signs outside the metro station.

-Getting back to work. I’m feeling a little fractured right now – I’m starting to go to work meetings even though rehearsals don’t start for two weeks, so I know enough to know just how much I don’t know. But I’m looking forward to getting back in the swing of things and setting a more regular schedule.

-Watching this documentary:

It’s been out for a while, but I haven’t gotten a chance to watch it yet, so I’m putting it on the list. Drama and backstage machinations at a Ren Faire!!!! I’m there for it.

What We Ate:
Monday: Grilled Cheese and Apples. This was the day from the last post, when we went to the Renaissance Festival. We got home so late that no one felt like cooking, so we just had something super simple for dinner.

Tuesday: Cheesy Green Chili Bean Bake, from NY Times Cooking. I was looking for a way to used up some poblano peppers I had. This was really tasty. I used black beans instead of pinto because that’s what I had. The 7 year old, when I told him we were having Cheesy beans for dinner opted to make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But then half way through dinner, he said, “I think I’ll try the cheesy beans.” and he did and he said, “These are good! You didn’t tell me they would be good!” Sigh. (I made cornbread to go with it, but it wasn’t done in time so we just ate it with tortillas)

Wednesday – Eggplant and pork stir fry – the Husband cooked.

Thursday: Spiced Chickpea Stew with Coconut and Turmeric, though it’s more of a curry. This was also very tasty and it used a bunch of kale. Would make again. Vegan.

Friday: Pizza (take out – tasty but the restaurant is slow) and Glee.

Saturday: Eggs/Leftovers. This was Declutter-palooza day. I kind of forgot to feed the kids this day -the Husband threw together some eggs for them. Thank goodness.

Sunday: Kale pesto and gnocchi (from frozen) and leftover sausage. This was another day where we didn’t have anything planned but I had a little bit of kale leftover from Thursday’s chickpea stew. I’d never made kale pesto before, and was skeptical that the kids would like it, but they did!

How is your week? What have you thrown out lately? How old is too old for Trick or Treating?


Twenty Hats I’ve Worn – a post for NGS

A few months ago, when Engie asked me to write a guest post for her blog to help celebrate her twenty years as a blogger, I had so many ideas. Ultimately I chose to write about opera because it’s something I know very well, but this other idea kept knocking around in my head, percolating. So I thought, during this her blogiversary month, what better way to pay tribute to Engie than to write one more post in her honor – a post all about HATS!

I am an unabashed hat person. I love wearing hats. I am not particularly stylish in most of my wardrobe, but I do like the whimsy of wearing a hat. I used to be a scarf person, but those tend to get in the way when I’m working. These days, I don’t feel like my outfit is complete unless I have a hat on. I like how it can complete a basic or spare look. I like how a hat can cover up my hair when I’m having a bad hair day. I like how a hat can protect me from the sun in the summer and the cold in the winter. I like how hats are slightly out of fashion, so it’s a pretty easy way for me to have a unique fashion quirk. Often my hats are what people remember about me. I once was working with a director for the umpteenth time, and on the first day of rehearsal, I ran into them as we were walking down the hall to rehearsal, and they looked at me blankly at first then they got a light of “aha!” in their eyes. “I didn’t recognize you without a hat!” they said. Seriously – I’ve worked with director at least once every year or two for fifteen years.

Then there was the director who forbade me to wear hats in rehearsal. “It makes me feel as if you are ready to pick up and leave,” he said. He was a horrid troll of a man and believe me, I was tempted to many many times.

Imagine how delighted it makes me that Engie looks for hats everywhere – in the wild of life and in the books she reads. So to celebrate her, I’m going to send her an internet flood of hats. Here are twenty hats I’ve worn. (Literally.) I don’t have pictures for all the hats, so you’ll just have to imagine some of them. (Maybe if I get back to my parent’s house I can scan some pictures and update this post). I also had to dig deep into my own shoe boxes of photos to find some of these pictures. I can’t believe I’m about to post college-era photos of me on the internet… Also – how on earth did people take photos and post them on personal blogs (or really any blog) before smartphones? I don’t have a scanner so many of these older pictures are a picture I snapped of the photo. Sorry for the glare. Also- I feel like these pictures make it seem like I’m some kind of international globe trotter, but really it’s just that the majority of pictures I have of myself were taken on vacation over the course of twenty years. I’m pretty sure the Husband has more pictures of me than I do.

Anyhow, here’s the list – 20 (literal) hats I have worn:

1. My dad’s olive green winter toque. I don’t remember this hat, but there are pictures of me as a baby wearing it and it’s freakin’ adorable.

2. White kitty cat hat. When I was a kid, my grandmother (I think) knitted me an adorable winter hat that had cat ears on it. I would always get comments when I wore this hat. Also freakin’ adorable.

3. Blue corduroy cap. When I was in fifth or sixth grade or so, our school participated in a fundraiser for the Canadian Heart Foundation called Jump Rope for Heart. One of the lower level prizes was a blue cap with the Jump Rope for Heart logo on it. I thought this hat was VERY stylish. It might have elevated my baggy sweatshirt and comfy pants look of my pre-teen years.

4. Straw hat with red flowers. One of the first hats I had as a “grown up”, this hat came with me on many adventures. I got this hat in college and wore it until it was in shreds.

My dad and I hiking in Taiwan. You can see a hole already in the brim of the hat.

5. Straw hat with lace band. I bought this hat in Taiwan, when I went after graduating from college. I bought it at a very fancy Taiwanese department store and it felt very grown up to have bought it. I once left this hat in a college dorm while on a Glee Club tour in Puerto Rico. I arrived at the airport, realized I didn’t have the hat, and all on my own took a cab back to the campus to get this hat back. I had never taken a cab on my own before in my life, and I didn’t have enough money to give the driver a tip. Oh I felt so very very un-adult at in that moment. But I got my hat back.

With my friend on that Puerto Rico Glee Club tour.

6. Dark blue Scala cotton sun hat. I bought this hat twenty years ago before going on vacation somewhere. I don’t remember where. This hat is still in rotation and now so faded that it is almost grey. It’s actually a very popular hat – I still see it on people all the time – so I could replace it, even though it’s been at least 15 years since I originally bought it.

Hiking.
At Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens which has an amazing water lily display.

7. Electric Blue Sun hat. I got this hat in college. It has also been with me on many adventures and I still wear it. One of the best features of this hat is that it is packable, so I can just squish it up and stuff it in a suitcase.

In my senior year dorm room with my first boyfriend.
At the beach when my oldest was five. Check out the ketchup chips!

8. White floppy hat. I don’t have much memory of this hat, but I do have a picture of it. I do remember that I picked it because I wanted a plain hat that I could add my own ribbon to. In this picture I added a green ribbon.

At the Sutro Baths in San Francisco. Circa early 2000s.

9. Red beret with plaid band. I bought this hat from a hat stand in D.C. when I was in college. When I had one of my first internships out of college, I would wear it every single day, and it became somewhat of a signature item for me. I think at the time I thought it was cool to have a signature item that I wore every day. I think now it might be thought of as quirky, even odd and maybe unhygienic. Also unfortunately about the time I was wearing this red beret every day, was a certain incident with a certain intern who was captured in a famous picture hugging a certain U.S. President while she wore a beret. The beret became kind of a loaded item, but I didn’t quite realize that at the time. I lost this hat on a bus home from New York City, and I’ve been sad about it’s loss ever since.

No clue what’s going on here.
That time I went to Italy on my own for four weeks to try to learn Italian.

10. Green knit beanie. This hat was given to me by a lady who sang in the chorus of a production of Romeo et Juliette on which I was the Assistant Director in 2004. At the time I didn’t love it because it was so obviously a winter hat, but I kept it and twenty years later it’s one of my favorite hats. I love it because it is easy to wear and adds a splash of color to my outfit. I’ve had people I’ve worked with randomly give me hats – some of them are more practical than others. This green knit cap is very practical. The black 1950s hat that requires a lot of hair and hat pins is not.

When the middle child was just a baby!
Herring in Amsterdam.
That little baby a couple years later! One of the more impractical hats I’ve been gifted. People often give me their, “I’m cleaning out my mother’s closet and thought of you” hats. I love them as works of art, but they are not practical to wear.

11. Burgundy velvet bucket hat. I wish I had a picture of this hat. I wore it a lot in my 20s. It was very stylish – I liked a hat with a bit of a brim. But it was also a very hot hat to wear since the lining was made of polyester.

11. Red cap. The Husband bought me this cap early in our relationship. I love the look of it, but it does not stay on my head very well, so I don’t wear it as much as I would like. But I’ve worn it for many family photos and I wore this hat to my wedding.

Our snowy snowy wedding day
Family Photo with my mom – 2012
Family Photo – 2017

12. Red Beret. I don’t think it’s technically a beret, though. This hat was a gift from a friend/ co-worker after I lost the red beret with the plaid band. I still have this one, and wear it frequently since it works well in all seasons. This is the hat that I’m wearing in my headshot. I like red hats.

The youngest when she was just a barely born little squirt.
2016- Japan, at a conveyor belt sushi place in Tokyo.

13. Purple knit hat. My aunt in Taiwan mad this hat for me. There is a matching scarf. It is very warm in the winter.

My grandmother and me at a Taipei food court. She was one of the most elegant ladies I’ve ever known.

14. Checked cap. When I got married in 2019, my friend had a bachelorette party in my honor that she called, “Hats off to Diane!” It involved a bar crawl and everyone bringing me a hat. This checked cap is one that still wear a lot. My friend, L, who gave it for me said, “I figured with the red, white, and black pattern it will go with everything.” She was so right.

The oldest took this picture at the Kogod Courtyard.
Cherry blossom season! I’m including this picture because it also features another of my favorite hats- the middle kid’s White balls hat.

15. Blue cap with plaid lining. This was one of my first caps that I incorporated into my wardrobe. I liked that it’s brim was tilted up to reveal a blue and yellow plaid lining. A costume lady I once worked with loved this hat so much that she made a pattern of it and made one for herself. It was kind of magical to me that someone could just look at an article of clothing and draft a pattern.

16. Azure blue cap. This is another hat that I wear frequently these days. I can’t remember where or when I got this cap, but I was looking for a hat to replace the above mentioned blue cap with plaid lining. I like wearing this hat these days because it matches my shoes. It was kind of a cheap purchase and the brim’s wire tends to bend and warp out of place, so I do have to periodically straighten it.

Another picture of me dining out with the baby middle kid.

17. Tuba Christmas hat. Almost every year since the Husband and I started dating, we go to MerryTuba Christmas. A couple years ago, we decided that Tuba Christmas would be more fun if we wore swag so we got matching Tuba Christmas hats.. I love this hat so much- it’s slightly ridiculous and keeps my head warm.

Me and the youngest at a selfie stand in the park.

18. My bike helmet. One of the most important hats that I wear.

19. My father in law’s sun hat. My father-in-law was a very practical man. Everything he had was for a purpose and served that purpose very very well. He was also a very prudent and frugal man, so if he bought something you knew it was a quality object. This sun hat of his is definitely that.

The middle kid, hiking during COVID times.
At Smithsonian Folklife Festival.

20. Red floppy sun hat. This is my latest addition to my hat collection. I bought it last year on a day to Annapolis with my friend E. I was looking for a new sunhat and my favorite colour is red so this one was perfect.

Trying the hat on in the store.
Riding roller coasters at the County Fair last summer.

Well that’s twenty hats. There certainly are more hats I’ve worn in my life, but those were some of the highlights. Also- I don’t know that I ever need to make another post with so many pictures of myself on it ever again…

Now…. Here’s a challenge for you, friends! Do you have a hat in your life? In honor of Engie’s 20th blog anniversary month, find time in September to post about a hat that you’ve also worn so that Engie can continue to find hats in the world!

Weekly recap + what we ate: Back to school 2024!

Obligatory first day picture!

Well we’re off to the races with the 2024-2025 school year. And a new month. Whew. It was a pretty uneventful first week. The kids went to school. They came home. Extracurricular activities haven’t yet started, and I’m not yet working on a show, so it does feel like we are easing into the new school year.

First day of school celebratory boba run coupled with an Hmart trip.

Right out of the gate, though, the 7th grader’s middle school had their Back to School Night on Thursday. It felt a little soon to have a Back To School Night the fourth day of school, but oh well. I was glad of a chance to go – aside from the school plays and some early pick ups in the office, I haven’t really seen her middle school yet; last year it seemed as if every school event was on an evening when I had to work. At Back to School Night, the majority of the evening had the parents/guardians going to their student’s classes in order, with six minutes in each class and four minutes to get from one period to the other. Each student has seven classes a day, plus advisory and homeroom- down hallways, up stairs, from one end of school to another. I don’t know how the 12 year old manages this every day. I was exhausted by the end of the evening, but it was nice to put faces to the teachers and get a sense of what school is like for her. Last year I found middle school to be a huge black hole – the kid went to school. There were weekly newsletters that came home – all good things though. Once in a while a message from the Principal about an incident, or a form for me to sign. A few times a year, I saw grades. I suppose middle school is just one more step to independence and not knowing what my kid is up to.

My mother and my aunt were still in town most of last week. They had gone to New York City, but came back mid week. We did some less obvious touristy things. One day we went downtown to the Kennedy Center. We didn’t see a show or anything, but it’s just a beautiful building to walk around, and we had lunch at the Cafe on the roof, where there is a wonderful view of DC. There is an exhibit on JFK and his role in the arts. On that day, since we were already in the city, we went to the Portrait Gallery. I mainly picked the Portrait Gallery because it’s an easy metro ride and also I love sitting in its courtyard. There was an exhibit on Hollywood portraits, what I really liked seeing.

One of the portraits was of Merle Oberon, which I found fascinating because I didn’t realize that she was half South Asian. The blurb next to her portrait talked about how she had to hide her mixed race identity because of discrimination. I think of how I have half Asian kids and how it’s kind of no big deal because being mixed race a) is kind of a meaningless term – what is “race” anyhow? and b) is so common these days. I once read a statistic that the majority of kids will be of mixed race in the next ten years. (Or something like that – don’t quote me – it’s one of those statistics that’s stuck in my head, but I don’t remember where I heard it.) So thinking about being a mixed race person when it wasn’t so common and even considered scandalous is one of those things that I find really interesting to read about.

The day after that, we went to The National Museum of Health and Medicine, which is just a mile from my house. It’s a collection of body parts and medical equipment and photos and artifacts and such things related to the human body and how it can fall apart. The collection was started during the Civil War when doctors were encouraged to keep specimens of body parts and what not for research purposes. The most famous thing about it is that it has the bullet that killed Lincoln, along with some of his hair and the bloody cuffs of the doctor who operated on him. I didn’t realize this, but it also has a piece of President Garfield’s spine as well, from when he was shot. I kind of feel like you need to have a very strong stomach and sense of curiosity to go to this museum. It was especially interesting to go to the museum with my aunt who is a physician. She reminisced about her medical school days and pointed out the body parts and organs that were on display and told me all about what they did. The lady is amazing – she is 77 years old and still sees patients three days a week.

How did they even know to save it???

The last day of my Aunt’s visit, we took a trip to Longwood Gardens. What a beautiful riot of summer colour! I’m always glad for a visit to Longwood Gardens.

Labor Day Monday I took the three kids to the Renaissance Festival. I hadn’t originally planned to go over Labor Day weekend, but on Sunday our friends told us they were planning on going the next day, so it seemed like as good a time as any to go. Plus our other weekends in September were going to be full of kids’ activities. We had a great time. We saw the jousting (twice!), fencing shows, acrobats, Shakespeare parodies. We listened to loud feet-stomping, heart expanding music, ate turkey legs, reveled in people watching. The weather was gorgeous – warm and sunny with a breeze at just the right moments. The kids got sticky with melted ice cream and dirty with playground mulch. We laughed and wandered and had an all around great time.

Dressed up in all the layers. You can’t see it, but she’s also wearing fairy wings.

I think I did really well pacing our day. Once I (like Oliver Burkeman says) get used to the idea that you can’t see everything, then I think I could enjoy the things I did see without the sense that I should be somewhere else. I had each of the kids pick one thing they really wanted to do, and then planned around that. The 12 year old wanted to eat fried food, the 7 year old wanted to see the jousting, the 4 year old wanted to ride the pony, I wanted to see shows and laugh. So I looked at the schedule and map and plotted it out as soon as I got there. I picked four shows to anchor our day – 12 noon jousting, 2:00pm Death Scenes from Shakespeare, 3:30p Vixes En Garde, 5pm Piper Jones show. Then in and around we ate turkey legs (side note – these have gotten really expensive! They are now $12 a pop. I guess I’m okay with it, but it’s a little alarming), went to the pirate playground, shopped, and went on the Pony ride. It also helped that we met up with our friends who had three kids, so the older kids could take off together while I stuck with the little kids.

Turkey legs!

Coordinating with my friends was a little difficult at first because with all the mass of humanity at the Ren Faire – and it was very crowded – my cell phone couldn’t find a way to make calls or send text messages. I think next time I need a better, more concrete plan ahead of time of where to meet people. One we met up with my friends, though, I really enjoyed Ren Fairing with friends.

Food on a stick- the 7 year old has sausage, the four year old has mac n cheese.

Oh, and the one thing I was the MOST excited about – they’ve put in water bottle fillers at our Ren Faire! For years, I’ve carted so four full Nalgenes with me to the Faire, because I’m too cheap to pay for water at the Faire. Well this year, there were three water bottle fillers (labelled “drinking water from the well”) Yay. Ren Faire gets better and better every year!

Inspirational Thought of the week: We are due for a huge decluttering effort at our house, so I’ve been listening to Decluttering and organizational podcasts for inspiration. Last week I was listening to A Slob Comes Clean’s episode called “How to Get Motivated” and she said

“There is no way to fail at better.”

Whoa. Her point is that even throwing away one piece of trash makes things better, and as long as you are moving towards “better” no matter how small the steps, you are not failing. I have to remember that when the prospect of decluttering (or anything large) feels overwhelming.

Kid Quote of the Moment:
The 7 year old can be a bit of a stubborn grumpy bear. But when something goes the way he wants it too, his delight is unparalleled. His latest catch phrase when something goes well – “Perfection wins again!”
I have no idea where he got that phrase from, but it makes me really happy every time he says it.

Grateful For:
-School Buses and school bus drivers. Amazingly, the school bus was on time in both the morning and the afternoon last week. Well except for one day when the bus broke down and they had to get a replacement. Even so, the bus ended up only being thirty minutes late, which seems pretty efficient given that they had to go find a whole other bus and driver. So I’m grateful for the school bus and school bud driver that takes my kid to school safely.

-A nice visit with my mom and my aunt. I don’t get to see my aunt very often, so it was lovely to have her stay with us for five nights.

– The kids’ piano teacher. A few weeks ago, while out for a walk with my 12 year old, she said to me, “You know what? Piano is my favorite extracurricular activity!” This made me really happy to hear because she loves music so much but there were a couple of years where we fought a lot about lessons and practicing. I give a lot of credit for this to her piano teacher who is so patient and positive with her but also challenges her.

Looking Forward To:

-Lunch with a friend. I start working on a show in October, with some hours here and there the next couple of weeks, so I want to schedule some fun social weekday things in September before my schedule makes that difficult.

-Planning our trip to Malaysia. On the way to Longwood Gardens, we listened to some podcasts about travel to Malaysia. (I like listening to destination/ travel podcasts for trip inspiration.) It really got me eager to start researching and planning the activities we will do with our four days there. It seems like all the really beautiful beaches are a bit farther than we want to go with just four days, so we’ll probably just stay in Kuala Lumpur.

-September declutter-palooza! As I mentioned above, we’ve decided that September will be a big month for decluttering since I will have a lighter schedule and am home more. The main areas are the attic and the current toy room, which needs to be cleaned out so we can put the guest bed in there and make the guest bedroom into the 12 year old’s room. The 12 year old currently shares a room with her two younger siblings. It’s partly because I can’t wrap my brain around setting up a room for her (so many logistics! Need to buy new furniture!), also partly because I like having all the kids on the same floor as us and giving the 12 year old her own room would mean putting her downstairs. Anyhow – I know I need to just get over this because a 12 year old should not have to share a room with her 7 year old brother and 5 year old sister if she can help it. (Although part of me thinks – my father shared a room with 7 siblings. But he lived in rural Taiwan. Life was different… Everyone looks at me like I’m a horrible mother when I tell them my 12 year old still shares a room with her siblings.) Anyhow, I’m excited about/dreading declutter-palooza. I know our house will be a lot better once we go through things and purge and shift. But… so much work, and I get attached to things. Hence listening to decluttering podcasts for inspiration. Maybe I should document the efforts here for some accountability.

What We Ate:

Monday: Stir fried eggplant with black bean sauce and tofu.

Tuesday: Tortellini with sausage. Fruit on the side.

Wednesday: Grilled chicken drumsticks and cucumber and cabbage noodle salad with black bean sauce.

Thursday: Pasta Salad. This was a kitchen sink meal. We came home on the late side and I didn’t have anything planned, so I chopped a bunch of tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers, and threw them in a bowl with some cooked pasta and canned tuna. Added a red wine vinegar vinegrette. It was much tastier than I thought it would be.

Friday: Pizza (the Husband made) and Young Woman and the Sea, a recent film about Trudy Ederle, who in 1926 was the first woman to swim the English Channel, and she did it faster than any of the men before her. Disney sport movies are always predictably sentimental, and I am a sucker for that. I really liked this movie. I thought the story was inspiring and performances delightful to watch.

Saturday: Dinner out at The Olive Lounge after our trip to Longwood Gardens. I had a really delicious truffle pasta.

Sunday: Burgers and hot dogs and grilled zucchini. We had some friends over to grill- one of those super casual impromptu gatherings that you can have when you know your friends won’t judge you for not cleaning.

Monday: Grilled cheese and fruit. We didn’t get hime from the Ren Faire until almost 8pm so dinner was something quick and easy.

Onward to September! How was your holiday weekend? Have you ever had to share a room with a sibling? Pluses or minuses?

Books Read, July 2024

Squeaking in under the wire of August, here are the books I read in July. At least I think these are the books I read in July. I’ve misplaced my book journal so I haven’t written anything down for weeks and weeks. Sometimes I think I should move to an online system of tracking my reading, but I do love the act of putting actual pen to actual paper.

Bookish link of the month: This interview with author Jason Reynolds. The Washington Post does a series where they take a peek at an author’s bookshelves and working environment, and I find it a fascinating look into authors and where they come from and their process. I love this quote, where Reynolds talks about a cookie jar that he keeps on his shelf:
“If books are cabinets for stories, then my bookshelves hold a lot of things that are cabinets for stories that might not come in the form of what one might consider a book. Like that Ernie. To me, the story that exists in that clay is just as important as a story that is printed on the pages of some of these books. That image of my father, it’s not a book, but his life was, and therefore it gets to live on this shelf like everything else. In my life, all things with a story belong on a shelf.”

The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley – Probably my favorite book I read last month, and one of my favorite I’ve read this year. A British civil servant works for a newly formed government ministry that pulls people from the past and transplants them in the present. She is assigned to work as a liaison for the time “expat”, explorer Graham Gore, pulled from a doomed 1845 Arctic expedition. This novel combines time travel, spy thriller, and romance novel with thoughtfulness and wit. I would say I’m not really into time travel novels (I thought The Time Traveler’s Wife a ridiculous novel.) or spy thrillers, so this novel was a nice gateway book into those genres. This book sucked me in, made me think about time and history, and was funny – I laughed out loud several times. The whole thriller/ spy plot wasn’t as interesting to me as the workplace comedy and the way Gore was a prism through which to look at our modern times. I particularly liked this exchange:
[Gore] was introduced to the washing machines, the gas cooker, the radio, the vacuum cleaner.
“Here are your maids,” he said.
“You’re not wrong.”
“Where are the thousand-league boots?”
“We don’t have those yet.”
“Invisibility cloak? Sun-resistant wings of Icarus?”
“Likewise.”
He smiled. “You have enslaved the power of lightning,” he said, “and you’ve used it to avoid the tedium of hiring help.”

To Night Owl from Dogfish by Holly Goldberg Sloan and Meg Wolitzer read by Imani Parks, Cassandra Morris, and others. This epistolatory novel starts as a series of emails between two twelve year olds whose fathers have fallen in love and decide to send the girls to the same summer camp in hopes that they will bond. The agree to dislike one another. Hijinks and disasters big and small ensue. I listened to this novel with the kids. The 7 year old was at first a little reluctant, but then got kind of invested. I like a good epistolary novel, but this book pushed that device to it’s limits. There was one part, when the girls were at camp, where they still didn’t talk since they were intent on not liking each other, so they were writing emails instead. Which supports the epistolatory form, but did make for some clunkiness. Overall, though, I enjoyed this book – the characters are quirky, the escapades are amusing, and a big portion of the story takes place in the theatre world, which is always fun for me to read about.

Oh Beautiful by Jung Yun, read by Catherine Ho – I picked up this audiobook after hearing about it on What Should I Read Next where the guest was a huge audiobook listener. The book is about Elinor, a half Korean, half White journalist who used to be a model. She is assigned a story about the oil boom in North Dakota, close to where she grew up. As she researches her story, she also is forced to confront her own past as well as the past and future of North Dakota. For some reason, I thought this book was about immigration to North Dakota in the 1800s. But it wasn’t. Anyhow, I didn’t love this book to start – the main character doesn’t always make good choices, there is rampant misandry – every male in this book is some kind of predator- and it felt like that book wanted to tackle too many issues at once. Occasionally there would be a character that would surprise me and almost redeem the book, but then the book would go back to being about unhappy, unkind people meandering through life. I thought the book was thoughtful about so many points – the realities of life in a boom town, feeling adrift from family and one’s roots, sexual harassment in academia – but ultimately, the his book just wasn’t for me.

Night of the Living Rez by Morgan Tatly – This is a collection of short stories set in a Penobscot Indian Reservation in Maine. I picked this book up to read during our trip to Maine this summer. The stories center around David, a boy growing up on the reservation, and spans into his adulthood, back and forth in time. Some of the stories border on the absurd – like the one about running into a friend who has frozen his hair into the ground – to the heart wrenching, like the one about David’s sister who struggles with drug abuse. And throughout there runs a theme of intergenerational burdens and trying to make good choices but having none. I thought this book was grim and haunting, though surprisingly funny, and the writing is beautiful.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty– This was a fun book in a genre I don’t usually read (fantasy). Amina al-Sirafi is a middle-aged retired pirate who agrees to one last lucrative job in the hopes of earning a huge payout which would ensure a life of comfort for her and her daughter. I loved the Middle East/ African setting. I loved Amina, and her world weary, “I’m getting too old for this shit, but I’m still a bad ass” narrative voice. There is a colourful cast of characters and side kicks- the requisite “getting the team together” sequence had me grinning. It also has a tinge of “first in a series”, so that’s something to look forward too as well. Not sure I completely understood the world building and magic elements, but I had a good time anyway. There were some very funny/on point bits:
“For while the pious claim money doesn’t buy happiness, I can attest from personal experience that poverty buys nothing.”
or this exchange:
“[Your wife] knows you are a pirate?”
“I am no a pirate,” Majed huffed. “I am a cartographer with a checkered past.”
“Yes, a checkered past of piracy.”

On my proverbial night stand:

Life is Hard by Kieran Setiya – I’ve finished the chapter on Injustice, the last two chapters are Absurdity and Hope.

The Brontes: Wild Genius on the Moors by Juliet Barker – so close to finishing this one! Elizabeth Gaskell is writing a biography on Charlotte. Her husband is trying to get her last novel published.

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi – This book — every chapter rips my heart out and leaves me hanging. I love it and hate it at the same time.

You Dreamed of Empires by Alvaro Enrigue – the blurb calls this a “colonial revenge story”. It’s set in 1519 in what is today Mexico City. The writing is vivid and engrossing. I was looking for a historical novel in translation and this one popped up.

The History of Women in 101 Objects by Annabelle Hirsch – This my current audiobook, but I’m not commuting anymore so it’s been slow going, though fascinating. There was a delightful chapter on The Hatpin read by Helena Bonham Carter.