Weekly recap + what we ate: hello 2025! Snow! Jet lag!

I feel like this past week was truly the first week of 2025 for me since we were still in Asia until the 4th. Coming back was rough – our connection in Seattle was delayed by 2.5 hours, so we were at SEA for seven hours total. Here’s the math – we left our hotel in Kuala Lumpur at 9am local time on Friday January 3rd, which is 8pm on Thursday January 2nd in Maryland. We pulled into the driveway at home at 8:3oam on Saturday January 4th. That’s a freakin’ long time to travel. 36 hours – hotel to taxi to plane to plane to plane to car to home. The world is big, friends. (Although, Earth is the third smallest planet – I can’t imagine what travel would be like on Jupiter…)

When we got home, we unpacked and zombied our way through the rest of the day. I was determined to battle jetlag and keep the kids awake until 8pm, which would be close to their regular bedtime. I lost that battle badly. We did an okay job of staying up on Saturday – there was a brief nap Saturday afternoon and we went to bed around 10pm – I was hoping the late bedtimes would help the kids stay in bed later. Nope. Sunday morning the kids were up at 4am. Sunday afternoon, I tried to keep everyone awake and we were all passed out in the living room by 4pm. I was seriously worried about whether or not the kids would survive school the next day.

But guess what? I didn’t have to worry about that. Because … SNOW DAY!

There was one point the week before, when we were in Kuala Lumpur and it was 90 degrees outside and I said to my Husband, “Let’s remember this feeling because next week we will be COLD.” Sure enough late Sunday night it started to snow and before we went to bed, the schools had declared a snow day. Both the Husband and I were supposed to work on Monday. His work ended up being closed. I worked from home. (Thanks to the Husband who wisely told me to go get my laptop from my office on Sunday night.). Even though I was very much looking forward to sending the kids to school, – after all we were at Day 16 s of togetherness – I saw the snow day as a blessing in that the kids had one more day to get back on schedule.

It was a cozy day of puttering. Is there anything more cozy than a blanket of snow outside and warm tea and wool slippers inside? We shoveled some snow. The neighbors invited the kids over to play in their yard. I did some work, had a few meetings. In mid afternoon, I logged off work and we all went sledding with our neighbors. Sledding was super fun. I was at first a little nervous about the hill they chose because there are several trees on this hill and – well have you ever read Ethan Frome? I read it in high school and (spoiler alert) there is a gruesome accident that involves a sled a tree and the loss of hope and happiness. As one does in an Edith Wharton book. So I wasn’t terribly eager to go sledding on this hill.

But turns out, a hill full of trees is a great opportunity for kids to learn how to steer a sled. We did manage to put a hole in our sled, but I think it still works great. And there were several face plants into the snow and tears. Afterwards, the seven year old notes that “Stumps are worse than trees. If you hit stumps you’ll fly off. If you hit a tree, you’ll just fall over.” But all in all, nothing that couldn’t be solved by hot chocolate afterwards.

Tuesday – another snow day. Crisp and clear. Both the Husband and I worked from home. Around three, I took the kids out for a snowy walk. The house was starting to become a bit of a pit. Kids fell asleep around 4:30pm. We woke them up for dinner, which was kind of a sad lethargic affair.

Wednesday – yet ANOTHER snow day. It was no longer snowing, but I guess there were schools up county that were still treacherously icy, so all the schools remained closed. The kids had piano lessons – fortunately moved to 9:45am rather than the normal 7:15am. Though honestly the kids were already up at 5:30am, so we could have made a 7:15 lesson with bells on. I took the metro into work in the afternoon, since that seemed more relaxed an option than driving. Home in time for dinner. Kids and I passed out at the dinner table at 6:00pm.

The kids finally went to school on Thursday and Friday. THANK GOODNESS.

This weekend we’ve been back into the swing of kids’ activities. Basketball season has started for the oldest kid – she’s playing in the rec league as well as on her middle school team. The little kids have skating lessons, and then there’s agility class for the 5 year old and the 8 year old will be doing a goal tending clinic with his soccer league. It’s also football playoff season and college basketball season, so I think we’ll have a combination of out and about and home on the couch this winter.

Other news: We have a teenager! The oldest turned 13. Every year we get through the new year and I realize that I haven’t done anything to prepare for the oldest child’s birthday. Every year, I vow to do better. I did not do better this year. I did exactly nothing for her birthday. We sang happy birthday, we had a very long family scheduling meeting and then I went to work. The two little kids made her a card and the Husband bought her a cake which we ate later in the evening. On the one hand, I don’t love celebrating my own birthday, so other people’s birthdays don’t always register for me. On the other hand, I need to recognize that birthdays are special to some people and honour that. (Okay, typing that out, I’m realizing that maybe the day that I gave birth and we became parents for the first time should hold more significance for everyone. I know!)

The oldest actually got invited to another kids’ birthday party on her birthday. Our former neighbor’s kid was having a party and they invited our kid along, so she spent the day running errands with the Husband and then our former neighbors picked her up and took her to their kid’s party. When the other family found out it was her birthday too, they bought her a special dessert and then took her to Dave and Busters. How awesome is that?

I can’t believe that we have entered into teenage years! Okay, one thing now, though, I can legally leave all the kids at home. In Maryland, kids have to be 13 in order to stay home with other kids. (They have to 8 to stay home alone). I don’t want to take advantage of the now-13 year old, so I want to think through whether or not she should get paid if we ever do leave her at home with the other two kids.

Grateful For:

-Neighbors to spend snow days and birthdays. It was nice to hang out with our neighbors while sledding this week. They let us take a run down the hill on their toboggan and it was a wild ride. And I’m also grateful for our former neighbors who made sure the 13 year old had a good birthday even though they weren’t originally celebrating her.


-Base layers. I took the metro to work a couple of days last week so that I wouldn’t have to deal with driving in snow and slush. It’s about a ten minute walk on either end. I’m really grateful for wool/silk base layers to keep me warm.

-Hand me down winter coats and snow pants. While we’re on the topic of winter gear – I don’t think I’ve purchased a winter coat or pair of snow pants for the two little kids in four years because I have a friend with twins who passes down her winter coats and snow pants to us once her kids outgrow them.

-That my mom is okay still. My mother lives about 10 miles south of the Eaton fire in the LA Area. She is not concerned about having to evacuate because she isn’t in the mountains, but even still I’m worried. I also have an aunt and two uncles in the same area. I texted my mom to ask her how the air was and she said, “Bad.” The mass of humanity that the fires are affecting is heartbreaking.

Looking forward to:

-Filling out reflection workbooks. I was looking for a more concrete way to reflect on my 2024, and look forward to 2025, and I found two (free!) reflection work books online that looked interesting, so I’ve printed them up and want to work through them. One is Year Compass and one is by Susanna Conway called “Unravel Your Year“.

-A busy week at work – I have a recital that I’m doing titles for, and then a little semi-staged evening of newly commissioned 20 minute operas. It’s going to be a busy week, but I’m working with some great people, so I’m looking forward to being at the theatre.

-And then work downtime for a while – after this week, I don’t have another show to work on until the end of March. I do have to do some work for next opera season and there’s some paperwork I want to update, but it won’t be evenings and weekends. I’m looking forward to two months of working at a quieter pace.

-Library book stack – on the Sunday we got back, in an attempt to get out of the house and keep kids awake, we went to the library where I checked out this stack of books to start my 2025 reading. (Actually The Riddle of the Sphinx and This is So Awkward were renewals that I haven’t finished yet.) I love browsing books and just picking up what looks good:

What We Ate:
Saturday: Pizza and This Means War. We’re moving away from animated features for movie night. This 2012 movie stars Reese Witherspoon as a market researcher caught between two rival CIA partners/rivals, played by Chris Pine, and Tom Hardy. It was a lot of fun, perhaps a little risque for the littles – good popcorn entertainment.

Sunday: Sandwiches. I think we were all still really jetlagged and this was what the Husband fed the kids when we realized that even though everyone was falling asleep standing up, we should probably still make an effort to feed them. Thank goodness ehs’ here.

Monday: InstantPot Coq au Vin. Disappointingly more soup than stew, but still tasty. Though I think only 1 of the 3 kids stayed awake long enough to eat this.

Tuesday: Brussel Sprout Nasi Goreng, pan fried tofu on the side. We had a bunch of Brussel sprouts in the fridge from before we left on vacation so I made this -it’s my go to recipe for Brussel sprouts. I love this recipe from Meera Sodha. It’s really tasty and also a great way to get everyone to eat Brussel Sprouts. Vegan.

Wednesday; Coq au vin from Monday, reheated. Not what I originally planned, but quick easy meal on a busy snowy day. I think I’m going to lean into the cook once, eat twice meal this year. Although, we don’t have a microwave, so I need to figure out best methods of reheating food.

Thursday: Breakfast sandwiches. The Husband made dinner since I didn’t get home from work til 8pm.

Friday: Pizza take out. I worked, came home, and fell asleep before the Husband got back with the pizza.

Saturday: Pizza take out (take two) and Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the 2005 movie with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as assassins unknowingly married to each other. I got home when the family was half way through this movie and made the family watch it again from the beginning after we got to the end. I was hoping there would be some kind of plot if I watched it from the beginning. There is not plot. Just a premise. And lots of action sequences. The kids really loved this movie.

2024 – Highlights, Lowlights, and Lessons I Learned

Some reflections of the year that was…

Highlights:
-Family Travel. As a family we went to Berkeley/ San Francisco in the spring, a took a road trip to Maine in the summer, and then flew to Taiwan and Kuala Lumpur for winter break. There was also a camping trip to the Shenandoah National Park for just me and the two little kids. I love cozy times as home, but I also love seeing new things and changing my points of view every so often.

-Watercolour class. In February and March, I took a weekly watercolour class the the local community college. I loved having that creative outlet and learning how to work with watercolours. I feel like watercolours are great because they can be hugely effective if you know what you’re doing, but at the same time even those with no experience can make wonderful color stories with them.

-Some bloggy highlights – Getting to write guest posts for Engie and Elisabeth. What an honor it was to appear on their excellent blogs. Participating-ish in NaBloPoMo. What a lot of writing that was, but also how lovely to meet some new to me bloggers that way.

-New Sign in sheet process at work. For all my years at my company, the process of having people sign in for rehearsals and then calculating their rehearsal hours for payroll always felt fraught and prone to mistakes. This year, several departments collaborated to figure out a new, simpler method for people to sign in to rehearsals. It felt like the first systematic improvement that I’ve worked on in my new position at work. Also along the work front, I got to work on some really great and challenging operas this year.

-Seeing kids thrive in their activities. The activities balance is always a difficult one – I want the kids to have a variety of outlets to explore things that interest them. They are currently at an age where they still want to do everything, as opposed to intensely doing one thing. I kind of love that for them. I’ve been loving seeing how they light up when an activity clicks for them.

-Reconnecting with friends and family. This year we’ve had lots of friends pass through the DC area and we also met up with family and friends while on our travels.

-Trying some new things as a family. As a family this year we went duck pin bowling, contradancing, climbing at the climbing gym, and discovered the joy of the high school and middle school musical, and had many game nights. I love our traditional pizza and movie nights, but I’m also loving finding things we can do as a family that are off the beaten path. I feel like we’re in a sweet spot right now of being able to find activities that everyone can participate in and that everyone is willing to participate in. Even still, the 12 year old often declines coming on family outings, so I’m always on the look out for things that she will participate in which are also appropriate for the littles too.

Some Lowlights
-The youngest child not getting into kindergarten early. This was such a bummer because we really believed that kindergarten was the right step for her, and she misses the cut off by only three weeks. Yes, there is the fact that we are now spending $20, 000 for her to repeat what is essentially pre-K, but we wouldn’t have begrudged the money if we thought she would have benefited from another year at the child care center before kindergarten. As it is, she is doing well and having a good time, but she’s not being challenged the way she would have been in kindergarten.

-The Election. The whole 2024 Election cycle was just bonkers. Like what kind of scripted political thriller are we living in? And then the results of the Presidential Election were just so deflatingly unbelievable. For me, it wasn’t about party – I fully support everyone’s right to their own beliefs and ideologies. Rather it’s that a misogynistic felon who peddles misinformation was seen by the majority of Americans as a qualified person to lead our country. This is not how I want my kids to understand the democratic process.

-October, November, and December were really hard because on top of our regular activities, 3 out of 5 of the people in the family were participating in operas. Being in operas was a highlight, for sure, but the logistics of getting everyone to rehearsals and performances and figuring out meals and all the other life stuff around that was a definite stressor for everyone in the family. I feel like this is one of those things where many things in our life is a simultaneous highlight and lowlight – kid activities, for example – above was listed as a highlight, but the logistics of them was definitely a lowlight.

-No job next summer for me. I’m sure by next July, having the summer off will be a highlight of 2025, But from the 2024 point of view, not being hired for work made me more than a little sad and my self esteem on the point certainly took a hit.

-Screentime struggles with the kids. I really feel like a lot of the parenting battles this year were over screentime. Maybe we’re too strict about it, maybe we’re too lax? I don’t know. I do know I want the kids to spend less time on screens, and part of making that happen is for me to spend less time on screens myself. Feeling like I’m not finding a balance or screentime policy that works for everyone has been hard.

Seven Things that I Learned in 2024:

-How to make bao. Starting the list with one new skill, to remind myself to keep learning how to do new things.

-It takes a village, but you have to seek it out – We’ve been having some challenges at school with one of the kids, so much so that we were thinking of changing schools, but then I talked to the teacher and one of the school administrators and together we came up with a game plan. I think I had always had this idea that school is some kind of black hole – I send my kids in the morning, and then the get spat off the bus at in the afternoon, and whatever happens in the middle is a great unknown. I think this was the year that I realized that no one wants my kid to do poorly in school , no one wants them to be unhappy-the people at their schools actually care, I just have to also care enough to reach out and ask for their help in understanding what is going on because sometimes they need my help to. The response I’ve gotten from school administrators that I’ve contacted this year has been overwhelmingly positive. I say this also knowing that my kids’ issues at school are not systematic or health related or anything that requires medical intervention, and for that I’m thankful.

-Just pick up the phone. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I find email such an inefficient method of getting to the root of what people need. I’m realizing that I work better when I just pick up the phone or walk down the hallway to talk to someone. There were several times when I agonized over how to perfectly work an email about a tricky situation, and then just fixed it much more quickly with a brief conversation. I don’t love the idea of making phone calls, but I usually feel better once I do so.

-Just put away the phone. This is one of those things that I already knew but had a hard time putting into action. I started the Bored and Brilliant Challenge, though life got really busy before I could finish all the challenges. The first challenge was to put the phone away whenever you’re traveling between locations. I don’t know why this simple rule made putting away the phone click for me. Maybe because it’s a simple rule? I realized this year that I feel more balanced and less frazzled if I’m not scrolling or checking email while walking around.

-Talk less. I credit the Puberty Podcast for this lesson. There was one episode where one of the hosts talked about how they sometimes just go into their kids’ room while they are hanging out, and just go lie on their bed and not say anything. And once in a while that presence is all the kid needs. Sometimes conversations evolve, and sometimes not. Sometimes with the kids, the best way to connect with them is to just be in their space So I started to doing – just lying on their bed at random times. And two things became clear: 1) being in a quiet space with my kid is very soothing, 2) they don’t always need or want to hear from me in order to feel connected.

-Touch someone. For years it was kind of a running joke in our family that when we took family photos, the Husband always looked like he was in another part of the universe. Even when he was standing right next to us, for some reason, he just seemed like he had been photoshopped in. Then I was looking at our Christmas card from last year and comparing it with the professional photos that we’d had taken, and an idea struck me. The next time we were trying to snap a group candid shot of the family, I said to the Husband, “Touch someone!”
“What?”
“Touch someone! The picture will look better.”
And it turns out, my hunch was right – having everyone in the picture make physical contact with at least one other person makes the people in the picture seem so much more connected, even when you can’t see the touch point.
So now, whenever we take a group photos, I yell out, “Touch someone!”

-Framing the mundane in life with the amazingness of it. One of my favorite podcast episodes that I listened to this year was an episode of House Calls with the Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, where he talked to Astronaut Kyla Barron. If you like conversations about how to stay human and grounded in the chaotic world, I highly recommend this episode. One of the things that Barron said that has stuck with me:
“You have these grand moments of space flight, but really the most beautiful part about it is the day-to-day nothingness of it all. Like that you’re just like going about your life in space.  And so I think I try to keep that in mind. Raja [one of her team members], he had this thing where he would say what he was doing and then add “in space” on the end to remind us how cool it was. So we’d be like “fixing the treadmill…in space”  and you’re like, “I’m looking for my lost iPad… in space”. And so I think there are a lot of moments like that  as a parent where you can just be like stressed, you’re tired and you’re like … “with my baby”. Like that’s really cool, right?

So more and more, when things get hard, I try to remind myself that I get to do these hard things with my amazing kids, or at a huge theatre, or with my super cool spouse. “Dealing with that difficult long day…at the opera.” “Schlepping to swim team practice… with my kids.” “Making dinner… with my family.” Maybe this dips its toe into toxic positivity, but I think it is helpful for me to remember that even when things are hard -and things are allowed to feel hard – it’s amazing just to be here.

What’s one thing you learned in 2024?

Winter Break 2024-2025: Taiwan and Kuala Lumpur

Happy New Year, everyone!

It’s been a little quiet here lately, I know. We are currently on our way home after a week in Taiwan followed by four days in Kuala Lumpur. The trip has been beautiful, exhilarating, exhausting, eye opening, and full of loved ones. I think I realized on this trip, the most important thing is family.

Here are some highlights, in case I don’t get to write recaps.

There was so much food:

Night Markets in Taiwan:

Temples:

Visiting Family:

Amazing hotel breakfasts:

Such well thought out family bathrooms:

Even a few quiet moments:

And in Kuala Lumpur, iconic sights:

Animal sightings:

Islamic Art:

And even more food:

There were definitely times when I thought we made the wrong choice to come this far, to be in a part of the world so different from home. There were tears and arguments and lots of people being hangry. We’d never travelled so far as a family of five, and I have to say I am so proud of how everyone did. It hasn’t been the most comfortable or relaxing trips- I wouldn’t even call it a “vacation”- but it’s certainly been an adventure.

More soon!

I hope you have had a beautiful New Year!

Books Read November 2024

Only three books read in November, which is not terrible considering what a packed month November was. But, I have cross the threshold of 50 books this year – I think I might be closer to 60 books for this year, depending on how December shakes out.

Hopefully I’ll get to do a 2024 reading recap of favorite reads soon – I always want to do this every year, and never find the time….

The Unlikely Thru-Hiker: An Appalachian Trail Journey by Derick Lugo – Whenever I read about someone doing some kind of thru hiking achievement, it makes me want to also take five months of my life to do the same thing. Especially when it’s someone like Lugo who, when he set out to hike the AT, had very little experience hiking, and no experience at all camping. I always think, “Hey if he can do it so can I!” The “Unlikely” part of the title refers to the fact that Lugo is Black and there are very few Black people thru hiking the AT, something that led to the occasional comment to him while on the trail. Lugo’s memoir is a pretty fast and easy read – his recounts his time on the AT with humor and a sense of ease – I would almost called relaxed, even when he isn’t sure he is going to make it. Lugo doesn’t focus on the hardships of the trail – though he does go into details about those – rather he focuses on the kindness and friendships he encounters as he makes his way from Georgia to Maine. This book is also a good reminder for me why time outside is so important with this:
”Out here, I’m able to have long and complete thoughts. When I”m in the city, if a creative idea pops into my head… there always seems to be interruptions. I’m often up late working on them because one, the new ideas keep me up like a hungry newborn baby, and two, that’s the time when I have the fewest distractions. But out here in the great outdoors, nothing is pressing, nothing is more important than walking on the trail. Out here all I do is hik and think, think and hike.”

The Impossible Us by Sarah Lotz – This novel came up on a list on the site Five Books: “The Best Romance Books with a Twist.” The premise of this book is that Nick writes and angry email that accidentally ends up in Bee’s inbox. The two start corresponding, growing more and more attracted to each other. When they finally agree to meet, however, it becomes clear that something is a little off. Turns out Nick and Bee exist in parallel universes, only able to communicate via email because of some time/space glitch. There were times when I thought Nick and Bee, while likeably and charming characters, were making some truly terrible and selfish life choices, but over all there was a lot I liked about this book – the epistolary nature of it, the angsty impossible relationship, the humors writing, the details of the paralleled universes – in Nick’s universe, men can take a vasectomy subsidy when they no longer want to have kids. Bee lives in our universe and Nick is flabergasted about the whole Trump is President thing. (The book came out in 2022, and there was one bit where Bee says something to the effect of “Don’t worry, Trump is leaving office” which I think landed quite differently in mid-November for me than Lotz clearly expected/hoped it to.) The other thing, though – and this might be a bit of a spoiler – is that this book is marketed as a romance novel, and it really wasn’t in that there wasn’t really a Happily Ever After ending. Or not one that feels like it’s part of the story the novel is telling. So actually this book made me think a lot about what exactly a romance novel is and why so much of the genre hinges on the HEA ending.

Waiting for the Flood by Alexis Hall, read by Will Watt – I was looking for a cozy romance novel on audiobook for my commute, I had loved Will Watt reading Hall’s Ten Things That Never Happened (Still love that book, Engie!). So when I saw this book, the same author/reader paring, I immediately borrowed it. It’s actually a short novella that tells the story of how heartbroken Edwin, mourning a breakup, meets and falls in love with emergency aid worker Adam during a gigantic rainstorm. It’s a really sweet story, and I love how Watt blends the humor and vulnerability of the characters. There was another book included with this audiobook, Chasing the LIght about the man who broke Edwin’s heart, but I didn’t finish that one yet.

Bibliophile Diverse Spines by Jamie’s Harper and Jane Mount– This was a visually beautiful book:

This is a book created with the hope of encouraging people to pick upmore books by diverse authors. It features book lists by genre as well as reading recommendations from BIPOC writers themselves. Actually this book is where I found out about The Unlikely Thru Hiker. I don’t know if I would count this as a book I “read” because I didn’t pick it up and read every word cover to cover. Rather, I would leaf through it every so often, jotting down ideas of books to read, putting things on hold when they sounded good. I got so many good book recs from this book that I didn’t want to ever return it. I would highly recommend this book if you like beautiful illustrations, but even more so if you are looking to read more books by undereepresented voices.

On My Proverbial Book Shelf:

Green Island by Shawna Yang Ryan – novel about a family in Taiwan that is torn apart by the brutal 2/28 uprising of 1947, an anti-government rebellion against the Chinese government occupying the Island. My parents have often talked about this massacre, a brutal suppression of the Taiwanese people that has been often described officially as merely an “incident”, if it is even talked about at all.

The Harmony Silk Factory by Tash Aw – novel set in 1940s Malaysia when it was under British rule.

My Season of Scandal by Julie Anne Long – Part of the Palace of Rogues series that I’ve been binging this month.

Closing another show, and panic buying for the next adventure.

It’s been a really long week of tech and performances. Eight days straight without a day off. But even though it’s been a little bit of a grind and there’s been some really special and amazing things going on. Things I want to remember:

-The make-up artist – One of our singers got sick and when I went to tell the make-up crew, the make-up artist A, who does that singer’s make up said jokingly, “Well I guess I’ll just be bored.”
And I said, also jokingly, “You could put me into the Tiger make-up.”
And she said, “I’ll totally do that. Come back in five minutes.” Which is kind of hilarious because I don’t think I’ve worn make-up since before the pandemic, maybe even longer. So I came back in five minutes, and A gave me Tiger eyes:

I’ll never look this cool ever again. Also notice how those eyes make my unwashed hair look great?

-The stage crew – We had something come up, and I went to the crew and said, “Can you do X so that Y can happen?” And they said, “Why don’t we do W instead so that Y can happen?” And W was a much better solution for Y than I would have ever thought. I mean X was a petty crappy solution for Y in the first place, but it was the simplest option. And just the fact that the crew thought of this more complicated, but better solution to the problem, and went to another theatre to get the parts to make it happen, and they did it without being grumpy about it… The whole things just made me really grateful to be working with them.

Also- when one of the performers forgot to go onstage with their prop thorn, and then told the director that they didn’t know where to find it, the crew helpfully did some labelling to help the singer:

-The crew member who showed up for a show in a full on bear costume. I have no words to describe the delight I felt when I saw him. I have to say the stage crew at this theater is my absolutely favorite crew to work with.

-The visit from Secret Service. There was a VIP at one of our shows, and the number of secret service people everywhere was surreal. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. It blows my mind that being surrounded by this many security people is just life for some people. Also – the very ordinary-ness of the security detail. I guess that’s kind of the point. This was also the night that the singer called in sick, and we had to call in someone to sing the role. This isn’t the kind of role where there are lots of people who knew it – the guy we brought in literally looked at the music for the first time at 11am that morning. That whole day was just bonkers all around.

-Having the 12 year old in my show. Riding home in the evenings with her, blasting show tunes in the car and singing along.

-The after party on the last night. A parent had reserved a local pizza restaurant after hours so we could go there. It was everything you’d think an after party with 30 kids would be – loud, raucous, lots of singing, and love flowing like the wine.

-Just the energy and positivity of everyone who worked on this show. There is something in the air, I think, when you do a show with kids for kids because the experience is just as much for the kids onstage as for the kids in the audience. And everyone realizes what a special and potentially life-changing week this could be. Making opera is my job. It’s what I (incredibly) get paid to do. And when it’s your job, sometimes you forget to savor the joy of it – it’s just another night at work. But when you do it with kids, many of whom had never done anything on this level, you realize that you can’t phone it in. The performers and the audience don’t deserve that.

Now that I’m done opera-ing for a few weeks, I can catch my breath, have some time to relax and prep for our winter break trip.

There was an article in the Washington Post last week about panic buying before a vacation or trip. THIS IS ME! Even though we are going to a country where I could literally show up with my passport and a credit card and be fine, I feel like there are THINGS I need for my trip. To be honest, though, most of my panic buying has been as a result of my two big travel fears – that the kids will be bored or hungry on the plane ride. Okay, so far, I’ve panic bought:
– A new purse. Or rather three new purses to try. Is this a panic buy or rather a procrastination buy? My purse is literally in tatters, so I needed a new one anyway.

-New shoes. Or rather four new pairs to try on.

-Crocs for the 5 year old because the strap fell off hers this summer, so she needed a new pair anyway.

-Princess sticker book. Also a few other activity books for the flight. I don’t know why because let’s be honest, the kids are just going to watch 20 hours of tv on the plane.

-Mad libs. The kids seem to really take a liking to these this year.

-Card games. I bought a mini Uno to carry in my purse, and Skyjo, a new to me card game. We’ve already opened the latter and it seems like it will be a good game for us because it’s numbers based. The seven year old picked up on it rather quickly. I’m always on the lookout for good games that aren’t language based because we’re not always playing with English speakers.

-This activity book. Which the kids have already started on, so I’m not sure that it will come on our trip:

-Small four compartment snack containers, because snacks need to be organized.

-Some books to read on the way. I like to read books written by authors from the place I’m visiting.

-plug adaptors, which I think the Husband has ordered.

Still to panic buy:
-Snacks. All the snacks.

-Trader Joe’s tote bags. Because we’ll be seeing lots of relatives and it’s such a gift-giving culture, I want to bring some small, simple gifts with me just in case. I read somewhere that Trader Joe’s tote bags are much coveted in Asia, so I’m going to pick up a few and some TJ’s snacks to gift.

-Soft pants for the 7 year old. I think I’m going with the philosophy that comfy clothes = pjs for the flight, so I need to get some more soft pants for the kid.

-water colour postcard pad. I like being able to do some water colour paintings when I travel, and I’m out of the small size paper. Of course I could just cut up the larger size paper that I have….

-Travel keyboard so I can write and do some work on my iPad while gone.

-eSim card. Does anyone have experience with these? Particularly in Asia? Is it a better option than just getting the day to day international coverage from my carrier?

Grateful for:
-all the above things about the show and the people who made it happen.

-The Husband for holding down the fort at home.

-The myriad of boba shops near the theatre. The 12 year old and I had a lot of boba last weekend; it was fun having the choice of places to go to.

-A new traffic light on the way home. There is one way to get home that requires making an unprotected left hand turn onto a very busy street. It’s actually marginally shorter than the other way I go home. I used to avoid going home this way, because I didn’t want to have to make that left hand turn. They have recently put a stop light there and it is now not so scary and I drive that way all the time now.

-Our friend for giving us his CSA share from this week while he was away on vacation. Free vegetables!!! Although, there was a kholrabi the size of a baby’s head. I’m at a loss what to do with it, but the 12 year old figured it out:

Looking forward to:
-weeknights at home this week. So far in December I’ve had one evening at home with the family. There were a couple free days, but we spent those out and about. This week, I have three nights at home to cook dinner, eat dinner, squabble, and referee sibling disputes. (or to ignore them.)

-Our anniversary. Last year our sitter cancelled and we ended up staying home for our anniversary, but the oldest kid rallied her siblings to make a sign and then she told the Husband and I that she would watch the kids while we had a movie date night in the basement. It worked so well that we decided to put the kids in charge of our anniversary again. We’ll see what happens!

-Our trip and seeing family and new places and eating good food. The 5 year old woke me up at 6am this morning, asking, “Mom, when are we going to pack our suitcases?”

-Sleeping and exercising. There’s been precious little of that these past six weeks.

-Reading in a chair with a cup of tea. Or on a plane. Regardless – uninterrupted reading time. I’ve been an a romance novel kick lately – Julie Anne Long’s Palace of Rogues series and Courtney Milan’s Wedgeford Trials series.

-This audiobook – I love a good Jane Austen inspired book, and this one is quirky and creative. I almost wish I were still commuting to the theatre so that I can listen to it more. Almost.


One more week until Christmas! How is your week going? Do you ever panic buy anything?

Ask Me Anything #1

I meant to write some Ask Me Anything posts during November for NaBloPoMo, but never got around to those posts. But hooray, I have blog fodder for upcoming posts then.

These first round of questions come from Engie.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
When I was a child, I told everyone I wanted to be a pediatrician because it seemed to make my parents happy. My maternal grandfather was a doctor, and I had an uncle and an aunt who were doctors, so it was kind of the ultimate profession in my family, especially, I think, because as immigrants, a doctor kind of encapsulates the American Dream for them- work hard, get a good paying job, have enough money to own your own home, give back to society, and send back home. I didn’t really want to be a pediatrician.
Secretly I wanted to be a musical theatre star.
The ruse of wanting to go to med school lasted all the way up to my freshman year in college when I bombed physics and admitted to my parents that med school was just not going to happen.

Where did you meet your husband? When did you get married?
My Husband and I met at a contra-dance in 2003. (OMG when I write that out, I can’t believe I’ve known him for 21 years… ) It was my first week in D.C.; I was an intern at the opera company (the same one where I still work) and several of my co-workers were big into contra-dancing. They took me to a dance where they were friends with the Husband. It kind of took a long and meandering route after that, but that’s where it all started. We got married in 2009.

The ballroom where we met. This might be the first time we took the oldest kid dancing- you can see here there in the polka dot dress.

What does he do for a living?
The Husband does GIS work for our County. He makes maps and codes properties so that his department can pull data. At least I think that’s what he does. I usually tell people that he’s a map maker.

Have you ever had a pet?
Growing up, I had hamsters. They were always named Herman, after the Jim Unger comic strip. Even the females. Actually I think they were all females. Hermans never lived very long. I’m sure I had a county fair gold fish at one point. In high school we had a cat named Cat, after the cat in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. My mother had found the cat in the warehouse where she worked and brought him home. He eventually ran away, though.
The Husband and I had a cat named Guapo for a while. He had been a feral cat that our friend had adopted then had to re-home since she already had two other cats. Guapo was kind of a sad cat – he had some anxiety issues leading him to over groom so much that he was constantly leaking puss from licking his skin raw. It was actually like of a joke with our friends that Guapo was the least guapo cat you could fine. One summer, Guapo got hit by a car while we were on vacation.
Now we have fish and occasionally dog sit, which is plenty for us.

Guapo. He liked to sit on inconvenient (for us) surfaces. Also- the husband still give me a hard time about painting the kitchen that shade of green.

What’s your favorite part of having a blog?
I think my favorite part about having a blog is having a place to have thoughts of my own and to share them with other people and to have them share their thoughts with me. I like reading people’s blogs a lot, and I know the personal blog is not quite hip or fashionable right now, but then again, neither am I.

Thanks, Engie for submitting questions! This was a fun post to write!

What about you folks – have you ever been contra-dancing? What was the last time you used a map? Have you ever read Herman?

If anyone else wants to submit questions for an AMA anything, here’s the link.

Tech week is coming!, Christmas-ish, + gratitudes

Another tech week approaches – the last one for 2024! I feel like I just went through tech week, and here we are again. I’m actually pretty excited for this one because the 12 year old is in the show that I’m working on. The logistics of the rehearsal carpool have been complex. We are carpooling with two other families, and it’s taken six adults and a spreadsheet to get these kids to rehearsals and performances.

Things I’ve done these past few days to prep for tech week:
– pick out my outfits for the week
– make a big batch of something to eat all week (the red lentil soup that J blogged about). Hopefully there will be enough for the 12 year old to eat too. Which reminds me I’ll have to pack snacks for her as well. She gets to the theatre at 4:30p and rehearses until 9:30p – I’m not sure when theatre kids eat dinner.
-paid bills. Inevitably during tech week, I forget to pay a bill or two, so I made a point to find the utility bills and pay them.
– made a batch of hard boiled eggs in the InstantPot for breakfast.
-bought the big container of yogurt. Actually I had my friend who was going to Costco pick it up for me. During tech week, yogurt is a complete meal.
-Take a shower. I feel silly putting this on the list, but sometimes I forget.

I still need to stock up on fruits and veggies and healthy snacks.

Tech week reminders for me:

  • Eat well
  • Sleep. No revenge bedtime procrastinating
  • Limit the scroll cycle.
  • Don’t drop the ball on life admin things. Find time for them.
  • Hug the family whenever I can.
  • Find time to go outside every day.

On not Christmas-ing. I haven’t been feeling the Holiday Spirit this December. It’s barely registering for me that Christmas is in two and a half weeks. Some of it is because the weather has been really warm lately. Some of it is because I’ve been really busy at work. And also because we’ll be travelling, we haven’t decorated or gotten a tree or put up Christmas lights. We’re taking a “The trip is the present” approach and not really doing Christmas presents. The little kids have been writing sad Santa letters: “Dear Santa, Don’t come to our house because we won’t be here.” Literally.

I think more than in past years, I’m realizing that Christmas is what we make it to be. If we don’t buy the presents, there will be no presents. If we don’t set up the mantel, the mantel will stay bare. It’s kind of interesting to opt out of all the Christmas things to see what we really hold meaningful, and what is just stress-ladened expectations.

What we have done, though:
-Tuba Christmas! Luckily this year Tuba Christmas coincided with the free day, so I was able to go with the whole family. As a lovely bonus, my cousin and my friend K came along too. My cousin was in town for work, and I didn’t think I would get to see her, but she came in a day early to spend Tuba Christmas with us. Afterwards we went for dumplings.

-Listened to Christmas music. The Husband has one play list that is 12 different versions of “We Need a Little Christmas.” That always makes me laugh. I’ve also been listening to choral Christmas music when I need something quiet and calming.

-Watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and Spirited. Spirited is becoming one of our “must watch” Christmas movies every year.

-Went to Longwood Gardens to see the Christmas displays. We didn’t stay long enough to see the lights, but we see trees and the trains. We also saw the new conservatory, which was beautifully bright.

What I’ve been missing:
-Going to church. I’m not the Catholic one in the family, but I do still like going to church with the family. Lately I’ve had to work on Saturdays (the Husband likes to go to Saturday evening mass), so I haven’t been to Mass with them. I’m missing the carols and the Gospel reading and the time to sit and think about what Christmas means.

-Hallmark movie binges. I’ve watched maybe two Hallmark Holiday movies this year, which if you remember my posts from last year, is pitiful. I did re-watch Biltmore Christmas, which might be my most favorite Hallmark holiday movie ever. SOOOOOO good and sweet and romantic and just the right tone of angst and longing.

-The house smelling like Christmas greenery. I don’t know if I miss having to get the tree and get out all the ornaments and decorate it, but I do miss walking into the house and being greeted by the smell of fresh pine.

-Advent candles. When we do find time to do advent candles, we aren’t super consistent with them, but I do like the ritual.

-Christmas picture books. I used to borrow 24 Christmas books from the library and we would read one each night in lieu of having an advent calendar. The Husband did borrow a stack of books and there are a few we can pull out from our own collection to read, but it hasn’t been the book flood it has been in the past.

-Planning a big Christmas meal. Though I did just do Thanksgiving…

What I haven’t been missing:
-The anxiety of Christmas shopping. I actually like thinking about and buying gifts for people, but it takes a lot of mental and financial resources to do it. I do feel a little bit guilty that I’m not making an effort to buy gifts, but I don’t have the bandwidth right now. Maybe after my show closes, I might run out and get a few things, or do some baking, but I’ve passed the window for ordering things online, and I think it actually makes gift giving simpler when there isn’t the infinite world of the internet available. We have talked about maybe having a few surprise gifts waiting at the house for when the kids get back, but it’s nothing like the four or five + stocking stuffers we usually do.

– Drive through Christmas light displays. We always tried to go to these on a weeknight and it always seemed like a bit of a mad rush. I do like Christmas lights; the other day I drove the long way home through a neighborhood with lots of lights, and that was nice.

-Trying to Christmas plan while in tech.

-Secret Santa or White Elephant gift exchanges.

I’m sure there are more things I’m forgetting happened during this season, but I clearly don’t remember them enough to miss them…

Some Bummer news– I don’t think I’ll be working this summer. I have a trip planned with the 12 year old that is in the middle of the opera season with the company I work for during the summer, and the one show that I was available to work has already been staffed. The lack of contract has hit me harder than I want to. It always is a little sad when I don’t get contracts, and it fills me with self-doubt (Did they not like me enough? Will I ever work with them again? Is there someone younger and cooler and better than me who got the contract?) Also often one gets work by returning to a place season after season, and if you miss a season, there’s not guarantee that there will be a slot for you the following season. (I had a really horrible experience with this at one company where I decided to take a summer off after I had my second child and they never asked me back again – the person who hired me literally told me that it wouldn’t be fair to my replacement if they couldn’t come back the following seasons.) I know I make the choice to be a freelancer but it makes me realize how little job stability there is with this job that I love. Because I can’t take PTO or leave to do things that I want, there are long term repercussions to not being available for work. Oh well, I’m reminding myself that my job is not more important than my family, and that this trip with my 12 year old is cooler than any job. I guess I’m just petulant that I can’t have it all.

Grateful for:
-My friend/college roommate K who I haven’t seen at all this fall, despite the fact that she lives in this area. But I texted her and asked if she wanted to come see the final rehearsal room run through of our show and she said “Yes!” I knew the 12 year old really wanted someone she knew to be there, and the Husband couldn’t make it since it was the same time as the 7 year old’s piano recital. K has a very full life – in addition to her full time job, she plays in a string quartet – but I’m grateful that she makes the effort to show up when she can.

-Not having to deal with car seats anymore. I’ve been having to drive carpool to rehearsals, which means putting four pre-teens in my car – three in back and one in front. The two little kids are still in booster seats, so I have to pull out the boosters every time I’m driving opera carpool. I’m very grateful that I’m just pulling out booster seats (which don’t have to be latched in), and not pulling out full on car seats which are kind of like wrestling damp ten ton octopuses. Also grateful that I can put one kid up front so that I don’t have to drive the van since my parking lot at work is the size of a postage stamp.

-Kind words and ketchup chips. One of the directors of our show is from Canada. She actually directed the first show I did the fall too. And before she left after the first show she asked if she could bring me anything when she came back for the second show. “Ketchup chips!” I said half jokingly. Well, she showed up for the second show with a bag of ketchup chips for me. How awesome was that? But also, this past week, both the directors of the show have each pulled me aside at one point to tell me how good the 12 year old is onstage. One of them even said, “I’m not saying this because you’re a staff member. She’s really very smart onstage.” I feel like one of those super critical stage moms because sometimes when I watch the 12 year old in rehearsal (and I try not to watch her too much) all I can see is when she’s not paying attention or goofing off or not coming in on the right beat of music. I’ve always struggled a little because I want the people I love to be perfect because I believe in them, and I tend to be more forgiving of the people whom I’m not as close to. Being told that my kid was doing well, was kind of an eye opening; someone was telling me that my kid was enough and that they saw good work happening- it made me realize that I should also be seeing her strengths this way as well.

Well, that’s the news from here. Hope everyone has a lovely week!

If you celebrate Christmas, how Christmas-y are you feeling right now? Have you ever had to install a car seat? What is your favorite Canadian snack?

NaBloPoMo 2024 thoughts and Bonus time with a kid

I mentioned last post that I was a little hesitant to participate in NaBloPoMo, but now that it’s over, I’m glad I tried to post as much as possible during the month of November. A few thoughts I had about NaBloPoMo 2024, my first attempt at posting every day (though it didn’t turn out to be every day):

-I was really excited by how many people participated this year, and I’m really glad I was introduced to some new blogs and writers. Though I didn’t get to comment as much as a I would have liked, I loved what a wide variety of things that people wrote about. I think my favorite thing about NaBloPoMo as a reader is seeing all the different ways people use blogs as creative outlets.

-I liked the challenge of writing as much as possible, but I don’t know that I liked posting un-polished writing. I’m not a fast writer, and I find my writing needs a lot of editing. I think what I missed the most during NaBloPoMo was being able to take time to craft posts. Posting things that I don’t get to marinate on a for a while felt a little rushed to me. I actually have a couple of ideas that I wanted to write about and drafted, but didn’t publish because I wanted to be able to think about them a bit more. As a result, I think my posts were more pedestrian. Which I think is fine, but I do like to have a mix of “What’s gong on in my life” and “What’s going on in my head” posts, and I think this month it was more the former than the latter, and if I’m honest, I don’t always think “What’s going on in my life” is very interesting for anyone except future me looking back. At any rate, it’s probably a good exercise for me to write quickly and more impulsively because I tend to over think things, but writing quickly doesn’t come easy.

-On the other hand, I now have a bunch of things in my “drafts” folder that I can work on a post next year when I have a break from opera and my schedule opens up a little bit. Also – I never got to the Ask Me Anything posts, and I’m actually really excited to answer the questions that people asked, so definitely look for that in the future.

-There were some posts, namely the “What I wore” and the Friday Haikus, that were easy to put together because I gathered the content all week. I used to post haikus more regularly, but have fallen out of the habit. I think I’d like to try to make that a regular post again.

-Would I do it again? I don’t know – November is always a super busy month for me at work. I didn’t get to read as much, and I didn’t journal at. all. during November. I really miss having the time to do those things. I’ve thought about maybe tackling a NaBloWriMo challenge during a month when I have a lighter work schedule, where I would have time to really write contemplatively. I fully admit there was a bit of FOMO that led me to take up the challenge, and I’m not sure if that is healthy for me. If I’m going to do it, I need to figure out what it does for me.

For those of you who are new to me via NaBloPoMo, I’m so glad you’ve visited my corner of the internet! I hope I can continue to read your words and/or you’ll continue to read mine.

In other news, another calendar page has turned and it’s the last month of 2024. Eeep! When did that happen? And since we have a three month calendar on our wall, I can see February. Which is actually kind of nice because it is pretty empty right now.

I’ve had hopes of doing some productive life admin the past couple of days since yesterday was a free day and today I didn’t start rehearsal until noon, but I’ve been unexpectedly on kid duty; the four year old’s day care is closed because the HVAC system is not working and it is too cold for the center to operate without heat. Part of me is irked by the whole thing, part of me is thankful that it’s finally gotten cold… because global warming, y’all.

Anyhow, the 5 year old not being in school has been unexpected. I mean the kid hasn’t been in school for a week, what with the Thanksgiving holiday and all. The HVAC system at the school has been in need of repair for several weeks now – actually probably several decades, let’s be honest – and there are space heaters, but my guess is that the space heaters aren’t enough to counter the center being empty for the holiday weekend. There is a lot of chatter on the parent’s WhatsApp group – the situation seems long and complicated and responsibility for the HVAC system is not clear cut. I’ve had to silence the notifications on the WhatApp group because it was getting to be too too much for me, all the BIG FEELINGS and ANGER. I get that parents are upset, I really do, but the vitriol is draining. I’m having flashbacks to March of 2020 when we we suddenly had the day care rug pulled out from under us. But I’m feeling a kind of zen settle over me about the current situation – we survived COVID, we can survive a broken HVAC system. Or we’ll pivot and figure something else out. I don’t know… maybe I’m naive. I think that a child care crisis is something that we’re shockingly getting used to. And our family is lucky that we can indeed work things out.

Luckily I was off work yesterday. I had been planning to get some life admin done, but instead I took the five year old and her friend for the day. We went to the nature center, to see the holiday train display at the Botanical Gardens, and also to the library. Then I invited a friend, who’s kid is also in the 5 year old’s class, over for a playdate and chat. There’s a silver lining if there ever was one – I’ve been missing chatting with friends, and I didn’t think we’d get to see any holiday displays what with the intense opera schedule these past few weeks. I was lucky that the daycare closure was merely inconvenient and that it gave me an excuse to do some of the things I hadn’t been finding time to do.

Trains!

Today, was day two of preschool being closed. I had rehearsal, so I just brought the 4 year old along. She was actually pretty excited to come along and packed herself a bag with Magnaformers, colouring books, crayons, and stickers. Of all my kids, she is the most energetic, so I was really surprised she sat quietly through three hours of rehearsal – she just coloured and played by herself and watched the singers work.

Rehearsal buddy.

I feel lucky that I work somewhere where no one bats an eye if I bring a five year old to rehearsal. Everyone was actually really happy to see her. The director offered to put her in the show. But you know, two kids in operas in one fall is enough for us. The whole thing made me think, though – zooming out… I think when I started out in the business, I would never have thought to bring my kid to rehearsal because I had no childcare coverage for that day. And I do get that there are jobs where it wouldn’t be okay to bring your kid. But… maybe not as many as one would think? Looking at the big picture here – what is the real cost of giving working caregivers flexibility when they need it, and welcoming a child into the office in a pinch? Perhaps affording them a bit of leeway to handle caregiving duties allows them to mentally be more present to do their job. I think having to think about who is going to care for your child while you work is a huge mental load to take on. Perhaps it’s better in the long run to give people the time and space they need to function as a caregiver and to cover for them, rather than have people distracted and stressed out about how they are going to do it all. Maybe I would think differently if I had a job that had benefits and PTO, though…

So fingers crossed that the preschool will be warm enough for the 5 year old to go to school tomorrow.

Oh, one more thing before I sign off – I was browsing through books on Libby when I came across this version of Anne of Avonlea….

What the what???? I have no idea who that woman on the cover is, but is sure as shucks is not Anne Shirley. How do people even let things like this happen? It’s as if someone was like, “Oh well, here’s a vaguely period looking damsel looking pouty. That’ll do.” Have they even read the book?

Hope you’re staying cozy wherever you are!