Current Events – Life Off Headset

Weekly Recap + What We Ate: Bye Week

Lincoln with Washington in the background.

It was a week off work, so I spent much of the week back in the swim of school carpool (and this week, missed buses and forgotten backpacks) and internet errands – paying bills, making purchases, etc. The weather has been so erratic. Cold, gloomy, and wet one day and then the next, clear and sunny. It’s that clear and sunny that I expect in the Spring. But it is, in fact January. Where is the snow and chill? I absolutely blame it on the fact that I bought a sled in October. And snowpants for the oldest. If I had not prepared for snow, I’m sure we would have been knee deep by now. Or maybe not, given the state of the environment. Alarmingly, I saw some hyacinths poking their blooms out in the front yard today.

So last weekend was the one and only performance of our show. Actually two performances in one night – a 7pm and a 9pm. Everything went relatively smoothly. Some glitches as were to be expected when we didn’t really get to rehearse things a lot. But I did go in early to run scene shifts with the crew, and I was pleasantly surprised that the props crew asked to run the shifts an extra time. Often the crew doesn’t want to do it more than once when things are simple. But we hadn’t really had a chance to run things at the dress rehearsal – I had to pretty much coach them through it over the headset then. So the crew took it upon themselves to want to get it right, even if it was only for two performances.

I was in my nice backstage clothes, so I didn’t run on my dinner break, but I did get a walk in and reveled in how beautiful DC looks in the evening.

Sunday was Lunar New Year. We went to Taiwanese Breakfast in the morning. We always show up right when they open. My dad was with us and the waitstaff was really excited to see him for some reason. We usually order the same thing every time we go – sweet soy milk, savory soy milk, you tiao (fried dough sticks), soy bean and mustard green salad, egg pancakes, scallion pancakes, dumplings, and dan dan noodles. This time, we ordered some new to us dishes, and there was one pork noodle dish that might make it into our regular rotation.

Clockwise from the bottom: My plate (with cucumber salad, seaweed salad, bean curd noodles), bowl of savory soy milk with you tiao, seaweed salad, bean curd salad, dan bing (egg pancake), cucumber salad, you taio, cold dish of mustard greens, bamboo shoots, and edamame, sweet soy milke.

Other moments of the week:

-Finding a Christmas Tree. The Husband likes having old Christmas trees for backyard projects, but usually the Christmas trees I see on the curb are too big for me to handle myself. So when I saw a little tree in front of a house near the school bus stop, I dragged it into the trunk of my car. I texted him this picture (along with a note that said, “Don’t say that I don’t love you.”)

-Our second child turned six this week. What?!?

He did actually have a present to open- no evening Taki run for him. The Husband had ordered him two Transformers for Christmas, but then in the deluge of holiday packages we couldn’t find one of them when we were wrapping presents, only to have the missing Transformer reappear after Christmas. Which was probably for the best because two Transformers at Christmas might have been too many to get properly played with.

Anyhow, he has a Chuck E. Cheese party scheduled for later on, so he actual birthday was a small family affair. My father was in town and got him a bomber jacket from the Air and Space Museum, which looks super cool. I made his requested dinner – Ama’s chicken wings and Broccoli. Ama is the Taiwanese form of Grandmother – the wings are my mother’s recipe. And by recipe, this is literally what she sent me:

Obviously my mother does not believe in measurements.

I also made him a chocolate bundt cake, and then we couldn’t find the candles, so he ended up with a “3”, “1” “1” and a single candle on his cake. As long as the math works out, right?

He’s Six. Not Three hundred and eleven. In case you were wondering.

-Another fun thing this week is that we got to dog sit for our friends. We had this little guy at our house for the week:

He’s a really sweet dog. Except if there are other dogs nearby. Also he’s a little stubborn and always wanted to go in a certain direction on our walks, but it was in the direction of the big busy street so I tried to avoid it. But he just wouldn’t move and proved very implacable for such a tiny dog. I had to pick him up and carry him several times on our walks. Who was walking whom here?

But indoors, he is super affectionate, almost cat-like. I had many lovely moments relaxing with a book with the little guy curled up against me, a living heating pad.

Outside a book, a dog is a man’s best friend…

-It was also quite a social week. One night the Husband and I went out to dinner with a friend, and another night another friend came to our house for dinner. When I looked at the plans for this week. For the dinner out, we went into DC and had dinner at a tapas restaurant on Capitol Hill. It was funny being down there and seeing how much that area had changed in the past fifteen years since we left DC for the suburbs. One of the first things I noticed was that there was a Little Gym and a Mathnasium there now when it used to be mostly restaurants and bars. The Husband says, it’s a sure sign of permanent change when the new business coming in are geared towards kids. We don’t go into DC very often these days, but it always strikes me how different it is from when we lived there. Also nothing makes me feel my suburban mom-ness more than a swanky city restaurant.

-I also got out my watercolours and made some art this week. One of my friends from college has a birthday coming up and I wanted to make her a birthday card. I’m super happy with how it turned out. I thought about just leaving it with the watercolour flower bursts (on left), but I went back and added the detail with the pen. I’m on the fence as to which I prefer – on the one hand I love how you can see all the nuances and shades or colour without the pen, but I also love how articulate the version with the pen detail is, and how it made the flowers really pop. Which version do you prefer?

Read of the Week: This essay in The Cut about Monterey Park, where there was a(nother) mass shooting on Lunar New Year. Monterey Park is a predominantly Asisan suburb, a couple cities over from where I grew up, but it was very much part of the fabric of my teen years as the child of immigrant parents. My uncle’s medical practice is in Monterey Park, and is, in fact, only a few blocks from the shooting. This article beautifully articulates the importance of these immigrant enclaves. I have no words for the state of gun violence in America, just a lot of sadness for victims and, yes, for perpetrators.

Podcast Listen of the Week: I listened to this episode of the Happiness Lab entitled “Stop Looking for the Perfect Job” while out on my walk one morning. It coincidentally came the day after I had a conversation with someone at work about next season. Long and short of it was, they said they were contemplating offering me a large show to stage manage, and I told them that I didn’t feel like I was at a place right now where I wanted to stage manage something of that size and potential complexity. I would be happy to assist on the show, but I didn’t want to be the one calling it. Afterwards, I got off the phone, I sort of wrestled with whether or not that was the right thing to have said. I don’t want to come across as being unwilling to accept challenging work or peg myself as someone who only wants to do easy shows. I actually love working on a big new production with a huge cast. But at the same time, I know that taking on something that I’m not 100% sure I can handle will certainly make me stressed out and miserable. And lord knows, if I want to be stressed out and miserable, I can certainly do it for more money that I’m making right now. I wouldn’t say I’m unambitious, and I know there is a saying to “Do what scares you” – even still, I think “what scares you” should also be “what excites you.” I think in a few years I’ll be happy to take on such a project as I was offered, but I want to climb that ladder slowly.

Which is all to say – the above episode of The Happiness Lab came at a perfect time for me because I was seriously questioning the merits of being unambitious professionally. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about work ambition this past year, lots of feelings of jealousy when I see people with sky rocketing careers. This episode reminded me that work doesn’t have to be my defining aspiration. In the podcast they quote Esther Perel as saying, “Too many of us bring the best of ourselves to work, and bring the leftovers home.” I’ve definitely been guilty of this, and I want to mindfully avoid it as much as possible.

Mysterious Question of the Week: Where do all the hair ties go? Both the girls have long hair. I also have ponytail length hair these days too. Usually I keep my hair short with a pixie or a bob, but I find myself less motivated to cut my hair when I’m not working. Anyhow… that makes three ponytail wearing people in the house. I feel as if I’m constantly buying hair ties. Where do they all go?!?!?! In the morning, the girls go off to school with hair in ponytails. When they come home, there may or may not still be a ponytail. But inevitably, the next morning when it’s ponytail time … I can’t find any hair ties. I feel like I’m buying hair ties at least once a month. Also … the three year old will only wear thick colourful hair ties, despite her having the thinnest wispiest baby hair. At this rate, I feel like I should just hit the Amazon Subscribe and Save for hair ties.

Grateful For This Week:
-That my dad was able to visit for two weeks. He went home this week and I’m always a little sad when he leaves. He tends to visit while I’m working so I never feel like I have enough time with him. Even though there is something about me that from time to time resorts to being a moody teenager when I’m with my parents, I am always grateful that they come and are active and involved and self-sufficient.
-Good coaches. I’m really grateful for Coach Rob, who volunteers as the coach for the 11 year old’s rec basketball team. Every game, I see him really encouraging the players and making sure they have fun. I’m just really glad that there are people encouraging my kid to do well. On that note, received news this week that the summer swim team coach at our pool will not be returning. This news hit me harder than I thought it would. He had been such a positive coach last summer – encouraging the swimmers to be good swimmers and good teammates. I’m so super bummed that he won’t be back. Good coaches are hard to come by and I’m grateful for those who have the knowledge and the skill.
-Running Lights. I had mentioned in my Christmas post that the Husband bought be a plethora of lights to clip to myself when running in the dark. I don’t really have any intention of running after sundown, but I love the gesture. (I did wear one of the wrist bands when running the hour before sundown, though.) Anyhow, sometimes if we have time between dinner and bedtime, and the 11 year old is at basketball, I’ll take the two little kids on an evening walk. This time of year, though, it is dark by then so we’ll go on a flashlight walk. This week, I had the brilliant idea to give each kid a running light for our walk, and they loved it! Even the dog got one. It make the walk much more fun.

Looking Forward To:
– Lunch plans mid-week with moms from my mom group.
– Another bye week from work. I have grand plans to work on some house decluttering. I think I’m going to pick one area to work on each day: 1) the ~~pile~~ mountain of outgrown clothes in the guestroom, 2) my sewing corner in the guestroom, 3) the collection of random boxes in my bedroom, 4) the linen closet, 5) label the spice cabinet. Now that I’ve typed it out, it seems awfully ambitious.
-Turning the calendar page to February. Whoa, the end of the month has really snuck up on me. But here we are, a few days from February. Another chance to plot and plan and think of how to bring my best self home.

What We Ate:

Saturday: I worked, and packed leftovers. The rest of the family had pizza and wings and it was someone’s movie night, but I’m not sure what they watched. Oh wait – they watched Avatar. The first one.

Sunday: Lunar New Year. I made a rice cake stir fry and dumplings. The dumplings were bought frozen from our favorite dumpling place. The rice cake stir fry in black bean sauce recipe was from Vegetarian Chinese Soul Food. Rice cakes are a traditional New Year dish because the word for rice cake sounds like the words for “high year” so it’s auspicious. Truth to tell, I’m the only one in the family who likes rice cakes. But yay, more for me!

Monday: Ama’s chicken wings, broccoli stir fried with garlic and chocolate bundt cake. For the birthday boy.

Tuesday: Meatballs and pasta (in the InstantPot) for the kids and my dad while the Husband and I went out to dinner with a friend.

Wednesday: Pav Baji – Meera’s Sodha’s recipe from Fresh India. I describe this as Indian Sloppy Joes. It’s eggplant, onions, potatoes and cauliflower cooked in a tomatoe gravy, eaten on a buttered roll. Vegan, for those that chose not to butter their rolls. (I used coconut oil to cook the veggies) I also made this really tasty cucumber and peanut salad on this side.

Thursday: Cheesy Beans from The Weekday Vegetarian. My friend came over for dinner, and she brought a Greek Salad.

Friday: Asparagus and parsnip frittata and roasted russet and sweet potatoes. Another very satisfying clean out the fridge meal.

Weekly recap + What we ate: World Cup watching

Last week was a quiet week; between a sick kid and a supertitle gig I spend most of last week at home. Trying to work, getting distracted, cuddling, and reading.

The week started with yet another sick child. The five year old had been running a fever all weekend. He’s a good patient and just lay on the couch all weekend, moving to his bed when he got tired of that. We had had plans to get the Christmas tree, and when he still wasn’t feeling better on Sunday, I sent the Husband and other two kids out to get the tree from our local fire station, where we always get our tree. They came home with a nice tall tree, the bifurcated top led the tree to be dubbed Maleficent by the ten year old.

While they were gone, I strung the outdoor lights. We have a motley assortment of lights and every year I try to remember how I strung them up the year before so that things don’t look too patchwork. We have red and white lights – those go on the front stoop. We have multi coloured lights – those go on the hedge. But those come in two sizes, so I have to be strategic on how those go on. Plus one set actually has a white light setting which we use after Christmas. Then we have one set of white lights that go on the witch hazel tree. Every year it seems like we have too many or not enough but then push, prod, and re-adjust and things work out. I need to just take a picture for posterity.

The lights for the tree were also kind of a saga. The Husband bought a new set of lights for our tree because one of our string of lights had that cliched section that didn’t light up. Unfortunately, the new strand was not the right quality of white light to match our existing strand, even though both were “warm white” light. The nuances of “warm white” baffles me. So I took our old light strand and swapped out light bulbs until I figured out the problem and managed to move the non-light up section to the end of the strand. Fine, we wadded up the non-light up section and pushed it into the middle of the tree. Lights went up on the tree. Not an hour after we put all the lights on the tree, the middle section of one strand went out. Argh!!!! By this point we were kind of over it and decided to leave everything. There is a swath of unlit tree in the middle of our tree, but we have decided just to live with it. I’m putting a reminder in my phone to buy new lights for next year.

Ignore that black hole in the middle of the Christmas tree.

Anyhow the rest of the week: Two days at home with a sick kid, with a trip to the pediatrician whose verdict was some kind of virus. We watched a lot of Snoopy. I tried to convince him to watch Steven Universe, but he was reluctant. I did watch one holiday movie as I worked – Steppin’ into the Holidays.

The the five year old got better just in time to go back to school for the scheduled half day. (I’m a little baffled by all the random half days and days off that the kids get…) With the half day, I took the five year old and his friend on a walk on a trail nearby that I’m sure is lovely in the spring, but in the winter, it is pretty clear that the trail is mostly a cover for a sewage pipe that runs the length of the creek. While it was nice to be out an stretching our legs it wasn’t the most picturesque winter stroll. But we went to Sweetfrog after, and that was a nice treat. My favorite Sweetfrog combination is: plain yogurt, mochi, fresh fruit.

Thursday night I had a super title gig. The featured singer was someone I had worked with before so that was fun to hear her sing. I’m always unsure if singers I work with remember me because I feel like a lot of my job is to be in the background, but this singer gave me a huge hug and was really happy to see me, so that was nice. It was a lovely program, the theme of which was “nomads” so a lot of the pieces had some kind of mystic/Orient flavor to them. Beautiful music, but also some of the translations/texts were definitely a little cringey in how they exoticize women of eastern cultures.

World cup + Laundry. A good combination.

Random thoughts on watching the World Cup. I wouldn’t call myself a sports fan, but I am a “big event” fan, and the World Cup certainly is that. Despite playing soccer for much of my youth, I am definitely not up on any of the soccer language or subtleties. I don’t have a favorite team and usually root for the underdog. This week, I watched most of the quarter final games and it was harrowing. Talk about underdog stories. What I’ve discovered about me and soccer:
– Seeing athletes cry gets me every time. Not in an “they shouldn’t be crying” kind of way, but more like a “That’s so sad” kind of way. Disappointment is I think the one emotion that I find the saddest.
-Athletes are really good looking. There’s youth on their side, of course. But they all have a certain glow about them. Maybe it’s that light of determination in their eyes, or the glint of optimism. Maybe it’s just sweat. Anyhow. Gah. I feel so agist to have said it, but I do feel like I spend a good amount of my soccer viewing time just marveling at how beautiful these players are.
-Soccer is a game of instants. It’s not a million instants like basketball or glacial instants like baseball or football. It’s fast but sometimes it takes a while to score so you have to stay glued to the set, or you will miss a goal. After missing one goal by going to the bathroom, I did not move off the couch again while play was still going on. And when a team does score, it’s always breath taking. Every single goal was deemed beautiful and amazing and perfect by the commentators.
-Watching soccer is really stressful for me! Especially having to decide the game in penalty shoot out. Soccer is such a team sport, and the penalty shoot out- where it’s down to two people – just seems the wrong way to decide things. It’s nail-biting and I hate nail-biting.

Grateful for this week:
– That my friend decided to throw herself a birthday gathering and I got to see some friends that I’d fallen out of touch with. It was so nice to see everyone.
-Hulu. Or rather being able to afford Hulu so I can watch the World Cup.
– The Husband for putting the kids to bed while I worked in the evenings.
– my food mill. I had bought at bushel of seconds at the farm stand at the five year old’s request for apple sauce. The Husband bought a food mill for me for Christmas one year when the ten year old was a baby and I wanted to make my own baby food. These days I only use it to make apple sauce, but oh how easy it is to make apple sauce with it. All I have to do is remove the stemps, quarter the apples, cook them down with about 1/2 cup water until they are soft, then run them through the mill. No peeling or coring.

Half of the bushel left after the first batch of apple sauce made.

Looking Forward to:
-Tuba Christmas! I really hope we can get tickets. This year they have a system where you can reserve your free tickets, which is different from in the past when you just showed up and tickets were just handed out. (We did this last night and it was awesome.)
-The ten year old’s school choral concert.
– Christmas baking. I’m starting to work on my list.
-World Cup semi-finals and finals.

And then Christmas is in less than two weeks. Eeep! Gotta to start thinking about what we are going to have for Christmas Dinner – I think it will be ham. And then finish with the Christmas shopping – I have the list, just need to buy everything, and also gifts for teachers. And do festive things and do cozy things.

What We Ate: Pretty much everything we ate came from Jenny Rosenstrach’s The Weekday Vegetarians. I didn’t think I would like this cook book a lot, but it’s proven to have some rock solid easy recipes.

Saturday: I went out to celebrate a friends’ birthday and I probably ate five plates of truffle fries.

Sunday: Cheese and cracker and snack dinner as we tried to put lights on the tree.

Monday: Quinoa and Roasted veggie salad. This was really tasty. The roasted veggies were carrots, cabbage, and beets.

Tuesday: Pinto Bean bowls. Pinto beans eaten over rice, topped with avocado, pickled onions, pickled jalapenos, sour cream, radishes.

Wednesday: Charred broccoli and tofu with spicy peanut sauce. Eaten over egg noodles. Simple and really tasty.

Thursday: I was working and got a grain bowl from Beefsteak, a vegetable heavy restaurant. I made up my own bowl combination today and liked it so much, I took a picture of the recipt so I could order it again.
For the record, it was: Quinoa, butter poached sweet potatoes, cooked cabbage, steamed kale, edamame, sauteed mushrooms, scallions, kimchi, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, toasted seaweed, miso dressing and garlic yogurt sauce.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and the Guardians of the Galaxy holiday special – which was hilarious and festive and touching.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Boba weekend and not judging

My go-to Boba order – Oolong milk tea, no sugar, regular ice, half boba, half lychee jelly. Bliss.

This weekend started with a rough night of sleep -the highlight of which was a three year old getting into bed with me and taking her “not poopy” diaper off in bed around 3am. And of course, the diaper was indeed poopy. So was her bottom. I suppose a bleary eyed 3am diaper change these days is a good, almost nostalgic, reminder of those newborn days. Then there was the 5am insistence that she wanted breakfast. And even though I could hear the Husband awake and moving around in the kitchen, the three year old insisted that it had be be “Mommy breakfast, not daddy breakfast!” All my good intentions for better sleep hygiene are being sabotaged by a pint sized toddler.

The rest of the weekend felt very indulgent. We went to try out a new Hot Pot place for Saturday dinner. We haven’t been to Hot Pot since before the pandemic, and I feel like going to Hot Pot is kind of a barometer of our comfort level with COVID times. (For those who haven’t been – hot pot is an Asian dining format where you get a pot with a pot of broth over a burner at your table – either individual pots or one pot for the table – and the diners add meats and sea food, and veggies and noodles to their own preference. It is a great social meal and usually takes a couple hours to really do it right.) Not quite sure if Hot Pot is a rational barometer or not, to be honest. We didn’t go to one of those places with a conveyor belt that brought your food, but rather our Hot Pot foods were brought by waiters after we ordered it via iPad, so it wasn’t like other people in the restaurant were breathing on it. There was also a charming robot that delivered boba tea, though we didn’t get to try that out because it seemed to get stuck a lot. We just went to the tea shop next to the restaurant and got boba after dinner. Then there was a band playing out on the plaza outside the restaurant so we hung out and drank our boba and listened to music for a little bit while the kids ran around on the grass. We probably over did it a little as the three year old vomited on the sidewalk at one point. “Don’t step in my vomit!” she yelled to us cheerily afterwards. So I guess she was okay.

Sunday, the eating tour continued because we decided to go to the Taiwanese breakfast place. Taiwanese breakfast features bowls of steaming soy milk – either sweetened with sugar, or savory with scallions and sesame oil – which we eat with large sticks of fried dough (“yo tiao”). Along with that we have scallion pancakes, dumplings, noodles, seaweed salads, edamame and mustard green salad, “dan bing” (egg pancakes)… So much food, but all of it is super tasty and comforting. And afterwards, because there was a tea shop just next door, I had my second boba tea of the weekend. Boba is definitely a treat for me and to have it twice in one weekend was extra special. The tea shop next to Taiwanese breakfast also happens to serve Taiwanese shaved ice which is softer and fluffier than the Western version, and is topped with different jellies and red bean and fruit. My dad had been wondering if there was a shaved ice place in our area, so I was glad to have found this place and have mentally bookmarked it for later.

After breakfast and boba, we went to buy new shoes and boots for the kids. Our favorite shoe place has a policy that if you buy snow boots in September or October, if it doesn’t snow more than an inch all winter, they will take the shoes back in April. It is definitely pricier to buy shoes at Shoe Train, but the service is really great. The shocker this time around is that the ten year old now wears the same size shoe as me! I wasn’t ready for that yet…

Once everyone had new shoes, I took the two little kids to the park since the weather was beautiful and I wanted to spend some time outside. Then in the evening, we went over to a friend’s house for dinner. We got take out Chipotle and pizza and just sat around and talked all evening. I also baked a pie. The Husband had been wanting to make a pie with some of the apples he had gotten from the market a few weeks ago, so I was determined to make it happen, but then forgot we were hanging out with friends that night. So I asked if we could bake the pie at their place and they said sure! I made the filling and dough at home – the kids helped – and then assembled the pie and baked it in my friend’s oven and we had pie for dessert.

So it felt like a very full weekend. I did not get to the ten year old’s Halloween costume, so I need to make that a priority for the next few weeks, for sure.

Other fun/ interesting/ thought-provoking things from last week:

-Monday was Indigenous People Day, but the kids still had school. Traditionally this day is an open house at school for the parents to come an observe the classroom. My dad has been in town visiting, so he came with. Having two kids in two different schools meant a bit of travel to see both kids’ classes, but the open house was all morning and we ended up spending forty-five minutes at each school.

I was interested to see the five year old’s French Immersion class, and I was impressed that it was truly full immersion. Even still, the kids all managed to behave and learn and follow directions. The teacher repeated herself a lot and did a lot of pointing and demonstrating. It’s only been two months of school, and the five year old can already count to ten in French, do some basic math, and he can introduce himself. He also used random French words at home – things like “sac à dos” (backpack) and “poubelle” (trash can). It kind of takes me back to when I learned French in elementary school. When I was I was growing up in Ontario, in my school district, everyone started learning French in Grade Three.

We then went to the five year old’s class where all the students were really well behaved and quiet. Not that these attributes should be the pinnacle of student behavior, but rather everyone seemed really engaged. The ten year old did say afterwards that people were on really good behaviour and sometimes the teacher has to ask more than once for students to do things.

-This week, I had a supertitle gig for a Vocal Recital. I procrastinated a little on getting the titles done so the morning of the concert, after the open houses, I went to a cafe and worked for several hours. Being able to sit and sip my chai and work seemed so indulgent. The concert itself was lovely. There was an interesting set of songs by Franz Liszt that I was unfamiliar with, but which were dramatic and sweeping and made me wonder what it would have been like if Liszt wrote an opera. And the nicest thing, is on my dinner break, I went to the Roof Terrace of the building and the sky was beautiful and the golden light bathed the Washington Monument in pink light.

-Something that made me think this week: This podcast episode from the Puberty Podcast titled “How To Parent without Judgement”. I listened to this episode at a good time this week – it had come to my attention that that the ten year old feels like I judge her too much. Which is probably true. I have a lot of opinions, and I sometimes have a hard time hiding said opinions, even if it’s just the way my eyes widen and my eye brows go up when I hear or see something. Some musings from this podcast:
– There is a great point about how we need to stop judging ourselves. There is a fine line between being self aware and self-flagellating ourselves.
– Parenting without judging also encompasses judging other people. The hosts point out that when you express opinions on other people’s choices, your child will pick up on that and that will influence how they feel and talk about their own choices.
-There was some great tips and box text for managing moments without judgement. One things they mentioned was not making it about making the child feel bad for their negative behaviour, but rather present it as a bigger picture. For examples, if a child is constantly snacking out of the package, instead of condemning that specific action, you can say, “Hey, I bought the snacks for the whole family to share. Why don’t we pour some in the bowl for you.” Also – they recommend giving kids (and yourself) time before you make suggestions or share thoughts. ie. don’t re-hash the game on the way home from the soccer field. (If at all, to be honest)
– One issue that this episode brought up for me was about positive judgements. Often when we talk about juding someone, we are talking about having negative thoughts about them – but is having positive or complimentary thoughts also considered “judging”?
I’ve saved this episode because I think I will need to often remind myself of the many wise points.
Speaking of which, this made me laugh this week:

from Em&Friends line of parenting support cards.

-The baby was involved in a video shoot at work this week. We are putting up two shows right now, and the show that I’m not working on needed a little kid for some projection videos in the show. The opera Il Trovatore is one of those Italian blockbusters that feature all the opera clichés – love, revenge, war, class divides – and is famous for having a plot point that involves a baby getting thrown in a fire. Oh and also the Anvil Chorus. It’s full throated loud singing and melodrama. Great stuff. Anyhow I guess they needed a baby to throw into the fire, so we were asked if ours would be willing. I said sure! Baby’s first pay check!
From all accounts, she did really well at the video shoot. Took direction, didn’t fuss and was super friendly and cute. I’m sure it had something to do with the gazillion lollipops they gave her. I peeked in at one point and was so proud to see her serious little face paying attention to the director, but I didn’t stay because I didn’t want to distract her. Afterwards, she came and sat in on my rehearsal for a little bit, though I can’t imagine what she thought of it. My show is a lot of loud declarative singing in German. My friend snapped a little picture of the baby in costume of the video shoot:

– I bought more masks this week. As I hovered on the webpage, I was struck with the dilemma of how many masks to buy. It is cheaper to buy more, but will the we still need masks in two months? Three months? I still have to wear a mask at work. The three year old still wears a mask at daycare. Masks are optional for the two kids in elementary school, but the five year old still prefers to wear a mask (“I don’t want to get sick,” he says.) The ten year old prefers to go without. Plus, the masks we found that work best for the kids just started releasing kids masks in fun bold colours…
Spring of 2020 and the start of COVID impacting our lives sometimes seems very distant to me. Yet here I am two and a half year later and buying face masks is just another part of the life maintenance routine. At the beginning, I didn’t know what kind of masks to get and spent so much time sewing masks trying to find the perfect fit. Now I know what masks I like to get for the kids, and from which website. If they had a subscribe and save feature, I’d be all signed up. Funny how we adapt and adjust.

-I managed to bike to work three times. And by the end of the week, I biked all the way up the hill that I had walked up last week. Progress. Going uphill is still hard as f***, though.

-We head into tech at the end of this week. As always, my life goals for tech week:
*eat healthy nourishing food. (Mostly. I mean there is a lot of unhealthy snacking that goes on too, but as long as I’m also eating the healthy stuff, I’m okay with this.)
*Run on my dinner breaks.
*Sleep when I get home late at night instead of scrollling
*Help the Husband fold a basket or two of laundry whenever I can.
Work goals: Stay calm, stay organized, stay on top of things, and be nice.

And as a last note – Angela Lansbury passed away last week. When I was a child we watched Murder She Wrote every Sunday night. And then as I got older, I grew to love her satirical edge in musicals like Sweeney Todd and Anyone Can Whistle. I love this quote from her Washington Post obituary.

The lady knew her priorities lay in her strengths.
Or maybe her strengths lay in her priorities?

What We Ate:
Saturday: I worked, the Husband made something that involved green beans and stir fry, I believe.

Sunday: We had been planning on eating out, but we had gone hiking so the Husband made tortellini, salad and garlic bread.

Monday: Mac and Cheese (from the blue box) and sausages. The Husband cooked because I was working.

Tuesday: Not sure – I was working.

Wednesday: Red Lentil Soup in the Instant Pot. Continuing my attempts to clean out the pantry. Vegan.

Thursday: The Husband cooked – Fried Tofu Sandwiches. This was an interesting recipe because it involved marinating the tofu in pickle juice. We had tofu to use up and the Husband googled “Tofu Recipes” and specifically looked for one that did not involve stir frying or Asian cuisine.

Friday: Pizza (Take out) and The Force Awakens.

Thoughts on the Queen’s Funeral

I am by no means a committed Royalist but I do enjoy the sense of history and tradition that the Royal Family embodies, and I am fascinated by how that plays out for the public, particularly sartorially. I’m sure growing up in Canada influenced my feelings of respect for the Queen and all that she represented. I woke up too late to watch the Queen’s funeral service this morning, so I set my laptop on the table as we ate breakfast and we watched the procession from Westminster Abby to Wellington Arch. Surprisingly, the five year old was entranced by the proceedings and spent all morning riveted to the screen. At one point, I asked him, “What do you like about this?”

“I like watching the crowds,” he replied.

I took a break from watching to do the school bus run, and the transportation of the casket the 25 miles to Windsor coincided with some errands I had to run afterwards, though I did listen on CSPAN to the coverage. I got home in time to watch the committal service at St. George’s Chapel.

The sheer scale of the funeral was awe-inspiring. Of course, I would not expect any less for a monarch, especially one who ruled for seventy years. At one point the commentator mentioned that there were over 4000 military troops participating. All of them moving in unison. It makes the mere 210 people we had to wrangle onstage this past weekend seem like nothing. I’m going to think about this next time I do a show with a big chorus – At least I’m not coordinating 4000+ people to march in step at 75 beats per minute.

So many indelible images for me from today’s funeral:

– The flowers thrown by the crowds onto the hearse as it drove by, many of which survived the drive to Windsor so that the queen pulled into Windsor castle strewn with flowers from her people.

– The corgis, looking freshly shampooed and fluffed. It made me so happy to see the Queen’s faithful companions included in the proceedings.

– The oceans of people who lined the streets. I know there are many who have no use for the monarchy, but there are also so many who clearly were touched by th Queen and made the pilgrimage to see her off.

– The solemn faces of the Royal Family, particularly Prince George and Princess Charlotte. The Queen’s funeral is indeed a solemn state occasion, yet seeing the two children there reminded me that this is also a family affair and the loss of a matriarch is mourned as much as the loss of a Queen. I often thought of attending funerals of my own family and how hard it was to be on display somewhat during the funeral and how after everything we got back to thee house and I just felt so exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. I hope the members of the Royal Family have time to process their grief and rest after all this.

– Also – somewhat superficially, the wide array of black attire and everyone looking so elegant.

– The pallbearers moving so smoothly together that they made it look as if the coffin was gliding on air.

– The Lord Chamberlain breaking his wand of office and putting it on the coffin to be buried with the Queen. That literal break representing so clearly the end of an era was such an embodiment of the ceremonies and symbolism of a state funeral. Also – the fact that this moment, this centuries old tradition was broadcast for the first time today… I mean it certainly makes sense that the breaking of the wand hasn’t been seen by the public before; that fact really highlights how long Queen Elizabeth’s reign was, and also how the current trend seems to be to demystify a lot of the rituals of royalty.

– When they played ‘God Save the Queen” as the casket left Wellington Arch on the way to Windsor Castle, I felt a lump in my throat. Here was the last trip the Queen would make to Windsor Castle, or anywhere, really. Sending her off with the national anthem, the words of which wish for her well-being, felt like a final tribute and gesture of farewell.

All my life, the anthem has been “God Save the Queen”, and it was simultaneously jarring and poignant to hear the congregation sing “God Save the King” at the end of the commitment service. I think that’s when I realized that the Queen was really gone and the weight of the monarchy had passed to her son. When I was growing up, it never occurred to me that the words of the anthem could change. I thought that there was another anthem that was sung for Kings, tucked away somewhere to be brought out when needed. How central the monarchy is to Great Britain that the passing of one person can literally change the country’s national anthem! And, I realized as I listened to the singing of “God Save the King” and watched the face of King Charles, inscrutable yet sad, I realized that, despite the laws of primogeniture being altered recently to allow females to succeed to throne in the order of birth, given the current line of succession – King Charles, to The Prince of Wales, to Prince George – I don’t think it will ever be “God Save the Queen” again in my life time.

It feels almost silly to say, but I’m glad that I got to live through a time when it was indeed, “God Save the Queen”.