Weekly Recap + what we ate: Morning routines

Winter Colour in the Botanical Gardens.

This was supposed to be one of the few weeks this fall where everyone had a five full days of school. But… there was the unfortunate incident of the plane in the electrical tower which caused a huge power outage and resulted in school being cancelled on Monday. Then Tuesday and Wednesday, the baby was sick so she stayed home. So it was a lot of unexpected child care this week.

On Monday, I decided to take advantage of the no school day to take the five year old and the neighbor’s kid down to the Botanical Gardens to see the model trains. It actually worked out well – when we have gone to see the Botanical Garden trains in the past, we’ve had to go on the weekend and it’s always been really crowded. This time, the crowds were very light so we could easily see all the displays. I’m glad we went during the week because the train display was smaller than in the past, and probably would not have been as relaxed an experience if I had to fight the crowds to see it.

Mini Orange Groves.
Model of Union Station, all built of plant matter.

Also – there were baby pineapple plants in the bathroom at the Botanical Gardens. I was so charmed by it, I had to snap a picture:

teeny tiny pineapple!

Monday night the baby started running fever, so I kept her home on Tuesday. She spent a lot of time sleeping, thank goodness, and I got some work done. Other than one incident of vomiting in my bed, she was a pretty low maintenance patient. Even still, she ran a fever again on Tuesday night so we kept her home on Wednesday too. Of course she was more her normal, curious, active self on Wednesday, so I didn’t get as much work done. I actually didn’t mind, though – I was reminded of how during the pandemic I was home and it was just me and the kids and we just kind of hung out and went on walks and baked and read books while cuddling on the couch. And while there was a voice in my head that said, “You really should be working on those supertitle slides!” I think hanging out with my kid is important too – for both of us.

Fun new thing – I’m working on supertitle slides for a concert next week, and one of the songs is in Arabic. I’ve never had to work in Arabic before, so it’s been interesting for sure to match up the translation I was given with the text of the song. Thank goodness for Google and Google translate. At first I was so daunted by the whole things and I kept putting off working on this one song, and I had to remind myself that it’s good to have new work challenges.

Moment to savor: One nice thing about earlier winter sunsets is that when I’m waiting for the school bus in the afternoon I get to see beautiful pink and gold skies. Even as I shiver in the cold there some something breathtaking to see.

Moonrise and pink skies.

I’ve been thinking about my morning routine lately, mostly because there’s been no morning routine this past week and a half. And when there’s no morning routine, habits fall through the cracks.

I’ve been reading B.J. Fogg’s Tiny Habits, and he has developed a method for building habits that can be summed up as:
1) finding the smallest things you can do,
2) finding a prompt to do that small thing,
3) celebrate doing that small thing to make yourself feel good for doing it.

The part I’ve found most helpful is 2), finding a prompt and I’ve been trying to incorporate more prompts in my daily life. There are lots of good behaviours I want to encourage, but I struggle with finding a routine. So I’ve latched on to the idea of finding prompts for things as a reminder to do (or not do) something. For example:
1) The five year old used to wet the bed at night at least once a week. This was mostly because we forget to tell him to go the the bathroom before bed. Also- the ten year old was always leaving things in her pockets, causing havoc on laundry day. So now, after we brush our teeth (prompt – more specifically, after we put our toothbrushes back), the five year old goes to the bathroom and the ten year old empties her pockets.
2) I have a terrible habit of checking my phone at stop lights, and I decided I needed an alternative activity. So now every time I get to a stoplight (prompt), I do kegels until the light turns green to keep me off my phone.

Anyhow, I had set up a series of prompts in my head for the morning, and for a variety of reasons (holidays, the oldest has a morning writing club, just being tired), I hadn’t been doing these things. Rather I was just relying on memory and instinct to do them. My ideal morning prompt/habits would be:

– The Husband leaves for work. The moment the door shuts behind him, we all go do our morning teeth brushing.
-The ten year old leaves to walk the baby to the neighbor’s so they can take her to school. The moment she leaves, I do a ten minute yoga video. (In Fogg’s world, the tiny habit would be – the moment the door closes (prompt), I lay out my yoga mat (tiny action.)) I particularly liked this one because the five year old would do it with me.
-I take the kids to the school bus. When I pull in wherever I need to go after (work or home), as soon as I turn off the car, I do my daily Wordle and Duolingo.

(I still would love to figure out a prompt for journaling… maybe I need to put the journal by my bed and do it as soon as I wake up? I think this is also where routines and habits blend into each other.)

Anyhow, the morning brushing, yoga, Wordle, and Duolingo weren’t getting done this past week. Partly because not having to catch a school bus sucks the urgency out of the morning, and also a couple days, the ten year old’s before school writing club meant that there was no prompt for #2. Wordle and Duolingo usually got done at some point in the day, but I did have to use a couple streak freezes for the Duolingo because I would just forget. And granted none of this stuff was IMPERITIVE, but the morning feels better when I just automatically do things. I feel like when I know that these things will automatically happen after a prompt, I don’t spend mental energy on trying to figure when or if they will happen. (Contrast that with exercise/running – I don’t have a prompt for that because what with the weather and darker days and my current more flexible schedule, exercise doesn’t always happen at the same time and I like to look at my whole day in order to decide where it will happen. )

So I’ve been contemplating the difference between having a morning routine, where the morning is time blocked (ie. 7:00a teeth, 7:15 breakfast, 7:45 get dressed, etc…), versus just having prompts and habits and knowing the rest of the morning activities (pack lunch, get dressed, prep dinner, make breakfast – the essentials) will fall in place around it. I will say we have a luxuriously long morning – the kids are usually up by 6:30/6:45a and the baby goes to the neighbors’ at 8:10pm and the rest of us leave for the school bus at 8:50a. So nothing feels rushed, really. I just think I feel like the morning gets off to a better start when I do more than just the essential survival tasks of food and clothing. Anyhow, here’s hoping the next few weeks I can get back to my tiny habit mornings.

One the List This Weekend:
– Birthday Party (adult)
-Birthday Party x2 (kids)
-Decorate for Christmas/ go get our tree
– Tidy/ Pick up since cleaners are coming on Monday.
-Order Christmas Cards
-Christmas movie
-Bake Cookies (hopefully)
-World Cup Watching.
-Meal Plan for next week.

Grateful for This Week:
– That the pilot and passenger who flew into the electrical tower were able to be rescued safely. I don’t know them, but it must have been horrifically scary. I’m really glad that there were people who knew how to get them down safely.
-All the bloggers who participated in NnBloPoMo – I’ve really enjoyed reading all the thoughts they put into the world this month, such honesty, realness and humor. And now I feel like I have new blogs to pop in and read and the (virtual) world has opened up a little.
-That I’m not working right now and can just roll with the school cancellations and sick days. This week would have been difficult if I had been working because before/after care, which I usually would have used for school closures, was also closed due to the plane/power outage issue. I know so many parents that had to majorly scramble for coverage on Monday.
– Hoopla and my library card. The kids have been listening to Dear Evan Hansen a lot these days. (Also Taylor Swift.) I thought it might be fun to get some music from the show so we can sing it, so rather than buying the sheet music, I put a bunch of music books on hold at the library. When I was loading up my holds list, I noticed that a bunch of these music books were also available as eBooks via Hoopla, so I downloaded those and have been trying to learn Waving Through the Window. There was a lot of music available and I’m eager to dip into more!

Looking forward to:
– Helping my friend celebrate her birthday tonight.
– Supertitle gig next week.
– Getting my teeth cleaned. I know going to the dentist isn’t something people look forward to but, 1) next week is relatively quiet for adventures, and 2) I really like my dentist and hygienist – they are so nice, make me feel taken care of, and make me laugh even while suctioning spit out of my mouth.

What We Ate – This managed to be an eat-from-the-pantry/fridge/freezer week, which is always good the week after Thanksgiving:

Monday: Broccoli Pasta from Bad Manners cookbook. Vegan. This is really tasty for how simple it is. Boil pasta, drain. Sear broccoli in a pan, add garlic and red pepper flakes. Mix pasta in with broccoli. At the table, top with panko parmesan (Panko, nutritional yeast, garlic powder, paprika.) Yes, it’s essentially carbs topped on carbs, but the crunchy savory topping is what really makes this dish for me.

Tuesday: Spicy Salmon Tacos – I used the Korean Pork Taco recipe from Dinners Illustrated but subbed in Salmon and Shrimp for the pork.

Wednesday: Comedy night with my friend – I had a vegan mushroom risotto. The Husband stayed home with the kids and they had breakfast sandwiches and hash browns

Thursday: Butternut Squash Soup from Weeknight Vegetarian. Vegan version that used coconut milk to make it creamy. This was simple and tasty.

Friday: Meatball subs from the deli, wolfed down before the 10 year old’s piano recital. No movie this night – the piano recital was followed immediately by basketball practice.

Thoughts on getting more sleep

Last week was not a good week for going to bed on time. With my cousin visiting, everyone stayed up much later than usual, and when the kids are up until 9:30p/10p, I tend to push my own bedtime later. Not that they are really to blame; even when they do go to bed on time, I am plenty capable of staying up super late on my own.

I really want to get on a good sleep schedule for when I start rehearsals, but this past week there were a few nights when I was up until 2am. And in my head, I think “Well, 2am to 7am is five hours of sleep, I think that should be enough.” Then inevitably, the next night I fall asleep next to the kids while putting them to bed and leave the kitchen in a disastrous state, which always makes the next morning difficult. I know all the research says that poor sleep literally takes years off your life, so I really want to be more disciplined about this. Plus I’m getting too old to be unaffected by continuous nights of staying up til 2am, despite doing it plenty in college. Some things I’ve been doing that seem to be putting me in the right direction:

Brushing my teeth when the kids do in the evening. A lot of times, I think “I can’t go to sleep until I brush my teeth!” so I stay up because the later it gets the more insurmountable a task teeth brushing seems. So I’ve started brushing my teeth when the kids do. I think it’s actually better for me because a) they brush their teeth to the Chompers podcast, so I know I’m spending enough time on each tooth, and b) it keeps me from snacking late at night. The biggest benefit, though, is that brushing my teeth with the kids removes one hurdle before bedtime.
When I do finally make it into bed, I always take a minute to take a deep breath and fully savor my bed – the crisp cool sheets, the soap smelling hug of the duvet wrapped around me, the soft/firm feel of my memory foam pillow as it curves around my head. Some nights, I even say out loud (but softly because the Husband is usually asleep), “Ahhhhh Bed, bed, bed!” I think acknowledging what a wonderful place bed is helps make it a place I want to be.
Just going straight to bed when I come home from a late evening at work. I used to think that when I got home at 11pm or midnight, I needed time to have a snack and unwind, but then I would just stay up even longer. So now I try to come home, hang up my coat, put away my lunch box, kiss the children goodnight and then get into pjs, brush my teeth and straight to bed. I try not to even get my phone out of my purse to charge because I don’t want to get side-tracked.

Things I should be better about to develop good sleep habits:
On nights when I don’t have to work late, having a nightly routine and sticking to a time to start that and mindfully going to bed afterwards. In my ideal world, the hour before bed would be: 20 mins yoga, 20 minutes journaling, and 20 minutes reading. And this routine would start around 10:30pm. I think an offline bedtime routine would be good too. That would mean, though that the yoga and the reading would have to be done offline – currently I do a yoga podcast and read on my phone or iPad, so I would have to find alternatives. Then immediately to bed, is a big thing.
Avoiding revenge bedtime procrastination. I ought to minimize screens in my pre-bed routine because scroll-creep is a big struggle for me. A lot of the time when I stay up, I’m on a device reading or scrolling. Once in a while I’m writing here. Carolyn Hax’s back catalogue of advice columns is a huge time suck for me, though I really like her advice, so I don’t think it’s an empty time suck, necessarily. Other internet rabbit holes. Even without social media, I often find myself clicking link after link while reading about something. I’ve also had nights when I’ve inexplicably spent hours re-organizing my Libby holds list and fall asleep on the couch. I just need to find tactics to take the things that I stay up late to do and make them into daytime activities. Maybe it will help to write down a list of things to google the next day when the late night urge strikes to go down internet rabbit holes. Also dedicating other time to write and so that I’m not writing late at night would help me feel like I have time to do it.
Showering at night. Like tooth brushing, this is one of those tasks that seems more and more insurmountable the later it gets, but which I also really want to do before I get in bed some nights. There was a time when I could tell the baby that I needed to go take a shower so I couldn’t lie next to her until she fell asleep, and it was the only excuse she would accept. So maybe I should again link this to doing it directly after I put the kids in bed. (I’ve been reading B.J. Fogg’s Tiny Habits, and he talks a lot about linking aspirational habits to everyday trigger events, which is a tactic I think might be really good for me.)
Getting into my pjs earlier. When it gets too late I just roll into bed in whatever I’m wearing, which isn’t the best, though I can’t really articulate why – I mean at the very least, I make the kids put on pjs, so I should walk the walk. Maybe the pjs should go on when I brush my teeth? I think the bigger idea is that I should frontload the pre-bed maintenance things so that they aren’t a barrier to getting into bed.
Keeping tv time to just one episode or one hour.

I would like to have the following evening routine:

5:30p/6:00p – Dinner
6:15p – Clean Up. (It really helps if this gets done before dinner so that I don’t have to do it after the kids are in bed.)
7:00p – Time with kids. Game night, walk, Golden Girls.
7:45p – Start the kids to bed. I get into my pjs and brush teeth with them.
8:45p – little kids asleep. I take a shower if I need to
9:00p – Big kid in bed. TV time with Husband. (fit in the yoga/ exercise here if I want to do a longer routine.)
10:00p – work on my own project (writing, tidying something.) Think about the next day, prep things if I need to.
10:30p – Start bedtime routine – yoga, journal, read. STAY OFF SCREENS!!!!
11:30p – into bed!