Life right now is…
A cycle of “when was the last time you ate/peed/had a diaper change?” and “When was the last time I ate/peed/changed a diaper?”
Is a toddling baby who makes joyful squawks, each outburst asking a question that I don’t know how to answer.
A climbing baby, persistent in her efforts to scale kitchen chairs, requiring vigilance on my part.
Distance learning and all its difficulties and distractions.
Virtual playdates. A balm, but not a solution for loneliness.
An endless to do list, yet days that seem to have no direction.
A preschooler who makes me question the accuracy of that term for a little guy who won’t forseeably be in preschool.
Wondering what the fine line is between “free play” and “neglect”.
A broken oven, necessitating baking only treats that can fit in a 9×9 pan in the toaster oven. Brownies (from Ghiradelli mix, bought in bulk from Coscto), lemon bars, granola bars. Some loafs fit too.
The perfect combination of sunshine, cool weather, and bracing breeze.
Reveling in the cooler weather and my morning cup of tea.
Having to constantly run the tea kettle because morning mayhem means the cuppa has cooled every time I get around to taking a sip.
Reaching for a pen to endorse a check and only being able to find crayons. Broken crayons at that.
Soup season. Cozy, warm, and filling. Also a good excuse to eat crusty bread.
Sewing masks for a church project.
Pumping milk. Not for the baby, who has refused a bottle since she was four months old, but rather for the milk bank to give to babies in the NICU.
Reading books beautiful, sad, fluffy, comforting, uncomfortable, uplifting.
Binge watching tv- also beautiful, sad, fluffy, comforting, uncomfortable, uplifting. This show manages to be all of those.
Wandering around to the side yard and finding a perfect rose blooming, having forgotten that we even had roses planted there.
Soft, round, cool, kissable baby cheeks.
Soft, round, cool, kissable three year old cheeks.
Soft, round, cool, almost at my eye level eight year old cheeks.
Devastating news, and needing to have room in my heart to grieve, honor, rage, and resolve.
Trying to find patience and empathy.
Often failing.
Trying to banish FOMO and jealousy.
Often failing.
Loving the chaos, if not the mess, of quarantining life with three small children.
Hoping to remember what is important.