Last week of October, and finally got around to writing up the books I read last month. Not a lot of books read, but I was determined to finish that Bronte biography, and I did!
Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi – I picked up this book at a Little Free Library and it just sat in my shelf until a lot of you told me to read it. What a beautiful powerful book. I wish every chapter were its own book. I think that might be one reason I didn’t love love this book- I just wanted more of each story and the format almost felt like it was a short story collection. Interestingly enough, I just listened to an author interview where the author talks about how short story collections don’t have to end with a big satisfying bow the way novels do. I think once I accepted this book as a collection of connected short stories, I enjoyed it more.
History of Women in 101 Objects: A Walk Through Female History by Annabelle Hirsch, read by Read by Gillian Anderson, Katy Hessel, Anita Rani, Jackie Kay, Len Pennie, Annabelle Hirsch, Shirley Manson, Rebecca Solnit, Sandi Toksvig, Marina Hyde, Naomi Shimada, and a Full Cast– This book looks at history, specifically Female History, through the lens of objects . Some objects are very pedestrian (like the Miele vacuum cleaner, the bikini), some less so (a 16th century glass dildo…) Some chapters drew my interest more than others, but as a whole it was a fascinating way to walk through history. I would say this audio book kind of felt like a podcast on occasion because each chapter was so short and varied.
Pride of Bagdhad by Brian K. Vaughan and Niko Henrichon– This is a graphic novel based on a true incident where lions escaped from the zoo during the bombing of Baghdad. In this book, the lions wander the city looking for food and trying to grapple with what it means to be free and have the ability to interact with other animals. I borrowed this when I was on my graphic novel kick a few months ago. I think my problem with graphic novels, though, is the writing/dialogue can sometimes read somewhat stilted for me. Maybe that’s the nature of unfurling a story panel by panel? Despite that, though, I thought this book was beautiful, and the story really sad. There were times when I turned the page and then gasped at the stunning images or story.
Life is Hard: How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way by Kieran Setiya – I had read Setiya’s Midlife: A Philosophical Guide and found it gave me a lot to ponder in regards to what is fulfilling and the purpose of setting goals. My big take away from that book is that learn to enjoy activities for the sake of doing the activities rather than achieving goals because you don’t know when life will end. I didn’t find Life Is Hard as compelling or as focused. Each chapter looks at one things that might give use despair (Infirmity, Loneliness, Grief, Failure, Injustice, Absurdity, and Hope. That last is kind of a spoiler for what the book ultimately says) Setiya looks at ways that philosophers and thinkers have examined these problems and reconciled how to live with them. The book is a little dense, but there were some quotes that I liked:
“…being happy is not the same as living well. If you want to be happy, dwelling on adversity may or may not be of use. Bur mere happiness should not be your goal.” – I agree that happiness is overrated.
“Projects fail and people fail in them. But we have come to speak as if a person can be a failure as though failure were an identity, not an event. When you define your life by way of a single enterprise, a narrative arc, its outcome will come to define you.” I love this idea of failure as an event, not a identity. People are not failures. So important to remember.
“Hope coexists with quiescence. If there’s courage in hoping, it’s the courage to face the fear of disappointment that hope creates. When things turn out badly, hope is more harrowing than despair.” I feel like this is very apt to our current times as we count down the days to the election.
The Brontes: Wild Genius on the Moors: the Story of Three Sisters by Juliet Barker – After two years of steady reading, I’ve finally finished this door stop of a book. I found so much of this book fascinating – it vividly captured the tedium of living in remote rural England. (I guess most of England was remote and rural at the time.) I mean this was before the internet and electricity! Interestingly, though, the lives of the Brontes seemed a combination of loneliness and connection. They were often far from friends, but the letters flew back and forth with great frequency and there were frequent visits and community events. It made me think of how we fill our time so differently now. I loved how much of a person’s personality shines through in their letter writing. Reading the excerpts from correspondence was one of my favorite parts of this book. The letters were always polite and correct, but could convey so much. I think about how we can offload the task of writing such correct and proper letters to ChatGPT now, and it makes me sad. I mean this phrase, in which Charlotte declines a proposal: I am not the serious, grave, cool headed individual you suppose – you would think me romantic… and say I was satirical and severe. However I scorn deceit and I will never for the sake of attaining the distinction of matrimony and escaping the stigma of an old maid take a worthy man whom I am conscious I cannot render happy. We certainly don’t write like that anymore. There was also so. much. death in this book. Of the six Bronte children, two died in infancy as well as the mother. And then, of course, Emily and Anne and brother Bramwell also died before they were into their thirties. Bramwell was a trip – troubled, aimless and full of scandal. I thought a lot in this book about their father as well, who outlived all his kids and kept doing his work as a minister until his death at age 84. If you’re into dense literary biographies, this is probably a good book to sink into.
On my bookshelf: I just finished reading a couple books, so there are only two books on my books in progress shelf:
This is so awkward: Modern Puberty Explained by Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett – This book is what the title suggests. It looks at the science behind puberty and then offers tips and scripts for how to talk about it with kids. Natterson and Kroll Bennett are the co-hosts of one of my favorite parenting podcasts.
Confessions of an Unlikely Thru-Hiker by Derick Lugo – Lugo is a young Black comedian who decides to hike the Appalacian trail, even though he had never even been camping before. I have a fascination with stories of people who do epic hikes (Wild, The Salt Path).
I’m going to start having a longer commute in a few weeks, so if anyone has any good audiobooks to recommend, please tell me!
I feel like I read a lot of books in the first few weeks of August and then really slowed down for the next little bit. Eight books read in August.
The Rakess by Scarlett Peckham – This novel was on a list by Alexis Hall of romance novels that he likes. The Rakess takes the trope of the rake who is saved by a virtuous and upstanding woman and gender flips it. The book opens with the female protagonist, Seraphina Arden, in bed with someone and wondering how long she has to cuddle before she can kick him out. Seraphina embodies all the stereotypical rake behavior that one finds in romance novels – drinking, late night carousing, easy affairs. She meets Adam, a fine upstanding, morally uncorrupt widower with kids. Romance novel type things ensue. I was really intrigued by this premise, but ultimately the characters still felt like romance novel cliches with romance novel cliche trauma to justify the way they behave, and the writing was somewhat stolid and awkward. There are some intriguing side characters and progressive ideas about social reform, but ultimately everything was just kind of flat for me.
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith – for Engie’s Cool Blogger’s Book Club. Thank you to Engie for organizing! I really liked a lot of this book, but I think the book kind of lost me with the whole “Lock Father in the Tower” bit and the resolution of the novel was kind of madcap. I also didn’t love the framing device of the journal – it seemed a little precious for my tastes. I did like the whimsy, the sense of time and young adulthood, the fantasy of being genteelly poor, Topaz – Topaz was great. So I put this book under, “Glad I read it, now can I watch the movie?”
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier – When I was watching trailers for I Capture the Castle, youTube also brought up trailers for a 2020 movie version of Rebecca that came out on Netflix, and that sent me down a rabbit hole. You know, Rebecca, that novel about the young plain something who gets swept off her feet by a much older man and then goes to live in his manor estate and is haunted by the memory of his first wife. I don’t have Netflix so I couldn’t watch the movie, but I was transfixed by the clips I saw online. Then I decided to re-read the book. I remember reading Rebecca when I was in seventh grade and thinking it was the best book ever. I don’t know what it is with me thinking that lying manipulative men were romantic when I was a pre-teen/teen. (See: my obsession with Jane Eyre.) I thought it still held up as a creepy disturbing suspense novel, but I find it creepy and disturbing for different reasons now.
The Turnoutby Megan Abbott – This is a suspense/thriller about sisters Dara and Marie Duront who run a ballet school along side Dara’s husband Charlie, a former pupil of their mother’s. There is a fire and a burly contractor comes to fix the damage, inserting himself into their lives and throwing off the delicate balance of the trio’s dynamic. All this against the backdrop of the annual Nutcracker production, which in itself is a high pressure situation. The novel is twisty and twisted as plot elements get revealed and unraveled. It’s not a genre I read much, but stories set in the performing arts world always attract me and I thought the writing was really spare and direct. It’s a page-turner for sure, and I liked the backstage glimpses, but ultimately, I was reminded that I don’t usually read suspense novels because I don’t like being tense all the time, waiting for (pointe) shoes to drop.
So Late in the Day: Stories of Men and Women by Claire Keegan – This is a trio of short stories, each in their own way about loneliness and inability to connect with people. I’d read Keegan’s Foster, and like that book, the writing in these stories is neat and unfussy, but also a little hard for me to grasp – things dance on the surface and I don’t ever feel like I know what is going on. I kind of feel like this is why people like Keegan’s writing so much – there is something very simple about it, but also it hides untold depths. I think what I liked about Foster, more than these stories, was that Foster had moments of genuine connection – in the stories in So Late in the Day, everyone just seems to want to be alone.
Blankets by Craig Thompson – autobiographical graphic novel about Thompson’s abusive sad childhood growing up in an Evangelical church, his struggle with religion, and his relationships with his family and his first love. So my first thought on reading this book was, “What a lot of work it takes to write a graphic novel!” Seriously, this book was like three inches thick and took me so long to read because it was to heavy to take anywhere. So there’s always a bit of awe and respect for the process behind a graphic novel and the skill involved to write, draw, and pace a story. The actual book itself was fine. It was kind of hard for me to get over the fact that even though his parents are strict Christians, 16 year old Craig was allowed to go visit his “girlfriend” Raina (the relationship was a little undefined) a couple hours away, and stay with her family for a week. I don’t know – maybe I had a super sheltered childhood, but that definitely wouldn’t have been something I was allowed to do. This book is often billed as a great romance, and I didn’t find it particularly romantic because Raina didn’t seem like a fully fleshed out character. The parts that were most effective for me were the parts about family and looking out for each other and letting them go. And the artwork was beautiful – the kind of stuff where I felt like I would never really see all there is to see in one picture because there was so much detail.
Drive your Plows over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, translated by Antonia Lloyd-Jones – I picked this book up from a Little Free Library, can’t remember why. Maybe I thought I should read some translated fiction by a Nobel Prize winner. I have to admit it took me while to get into this book, but then by the end, when it turned into a full fledged murder mystery, I was like, “Whoa, where did that come from??” It was like the book started out as something really cerebral and then in the last third switched genres on me. It took me several months to read this book, but I wish I had read this book in a more concentrated manner because by the time I got to the murder mystery reveal, I’d forgotten what had happened in the first half of the book and had to go back an re-read it. The main character, Janina, is a recluse in a Polish village who studies Blake and astronomy and teaches kids English and loves animals. She doesn’t use people’s names, instead referring to them by outstanding characteristics. People die. She gets involved in a meandering kind of way while interacting with other misfits. This book takes place in winter and the cold just comes off the page. All in all, I think this is book is way more accessible than I realized at first.
Funny Story by Emily Henry read by Julia Whelan: I hadn’t read any Emily Henry before, and I thought the premise of this one was cute – after Daphne’s fiancé runs aways with Miles’ girlfriend, Daphne and Miles move in together since she needs a place to live and he needs a new roommate. I listened to the audiobook. Also Julia Whelan. I really believe that Whelan can make any book absolutely riveting. So really, who knows if I liked this book or not! Actually I did like a lot of it – I thought the protagonists were adorable and liked the way female friendships developed in the book. There was some pretty typical romance novel BIG MISUNDERSTANDINGS and roadblocks, stuff that felt a little contrived, to be honest. Stuff of the, “Just pick up your phone!” nature. But I didn’t mind it. Over all there were several parts where I laughed out loud while driving, and both the leads were just so nice and earnest that I was totally rooting for them.
On my Nightstand – These books have all been in progress from my last book post – clearly September has been a slow month for reading.
The Brontes: Wild Genius on the Moors by Juliet Barker- Last chapter! Charlotte’s final book is published posthumously.
You Dream of Empires by Alvaro Enrigue – I really want to just sit down and read this book in one sitting because the chapters are short and I keep losing the narrative thread and forgetting who the characters are. But each chapter is really interesting – I just have no idea how the whole book is tied together.
The History of Women in 101 Objects by Annabell Hirsch- latest chapters: The dance card, Tupperware, the Bikini, Greta Garbo’s Ballpoint pen.
It’s Elementary by Elise Bryant – Overworked mom Mavis is guilted into heading the PTA’s new DEI committee. Then the principal goes missing. I’m only one chapter in, but this book is the lighthearted comedy I need right now.
Squeaking in under the wire of August, here are the books I read in July. At least I think these are the books I read in July. I’ve misplaced my book journal so I haven’t written anything down for weeks and weeks. Sometimes I think I should move to an online system of tracking my reading, but I do love the act of putting actual pen to actual paper.
Bookish link of the month: This interview with author Jason Reynolds. The Washington Post does a series where they take a peek at an author’s bookshelves and working environment, and I find it a fascinating look into authors and where they come from and their process. I love this quote, where Reynolds talks about a cookie jar that he keeps on his shelf: “If books are cabinets for stories, then my bookshelves hold a lot of things that are cabinets for stories that might not come in the form of what one might consider a book. Like that Ernie. To me, the story that exists in that clay is just as important as a story that is printed on the pages of some of these books. That image of my father, it’s not a book, but his life was, and therefore it gets to live on this shelf like everything else. In my life, all things with a story belong on a shelf.”
The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley – Probably my favorite book I read last month, and one of my favorite I’ve read this year. A British civil servant works for a newly formed government ministry that pulls people from the past and transplants them in the present. She is assigned to work as a liaison for the time “expat”, explorer Graham Gore, pulled from a doomed 1845 Arctic expedition. This novel combines time travel, spy thriller, and romance novel with thoughtfulness and wit. I would say I’m not really into time travel novels (I thought The Time Traveler’s Wife a ridiculous novel.) or spy thrillers, so this novel was a nice gateway book into those genres. This book sucked me in, made me think about time and history, and was funny – I laughed out loud several times. The whole thriller/ spy plot wasn’t as interesting to me as the workplace comedy and the way Gore was a prism through which to look at our modern times. I particularly liked this exchange: [Gore] was introduced to the washing machines, the gas cooker, the radio, the vacuum cleaner. “Here are your maids,” he said. “You’re not wrong.” “Where are the thousand-league boots?” “We don’t have those yet.” “Invisibility cloak? Sun-resistant wings of Icarus?” “Likewise.” He smiled. “You have enslaved the power of lightning,” he said, “and you’ve used it to avoid the tedium of hiring help.”
To Night Owl from Dogfish by Holly Goldberg Sloan and Meg Wolitzer read by Imani Parks, Cassandra Morris, and others. This epistolatory novel starts as a series of emails between two twelve year olds whose fathers have fallen in love and decide to send the girls to the same summer camp in hopes that they will bond. The agree to dislike one another. Hijinks and disasters big and small ensue. I listened to this novel with the kids. The 7 year old was at first a little reluctant, but then got kind of invested. I like a good epistolary novel, but this book pushed that device to it’s limits. There was one part, when the girls were at camp, where they still didn’t talk since they were intent on not liking each other, so they were writing emails instead. Which supports the epistolatory form, but did make for some clunkiness. Overall, though, I enjoyed this book – the characters are quirky, the escapades are amusing, and a big portion of the story takes place in the theatre world, which is always fun for me to read about.
Oh Beautiful by Jung Yun, read by Catherine Ho – I picked up this audiobook after hearing about it on What Should I Read Next where the guest was a huge audiobook listener. The book is about Elinor, a half Korean, half White journalist who used to be a model. She is assigned a story about the oil boom in North Dakota, close to where she grew up. As she researches her story, she also is forced to confront her own past as well as the past and future of North Dakota. For some reason, I thought this book was about immigration to North Dakota in the 1800s. But it wasn’t. Anyhow, I didn’t love this book to start – the main character doesn’t always make good choices, there is rampant misandry – every male in this book is some kind of predator- and it felt like that book wanted to tackle too many issues at once. Occasionally there would be a character that would surprise me and almost redeem the book, but then the book would go back to being about unhappy, unkind people meandering through life. I thought the book was thoughtful about so many points – the realities of life in a boom town, feeling adrift from family and one’s roots, sexual harassment in academia – but ultimately, the his book just wasn’t for me.
Night of the Living Rez by Morgan Tatly – This is a collection of short stories set in a Penobscot Indian Reservation in Maine. I picked this book up to read during our trip to Maine this summer. The stories center around David, a boy growing up on the reservation, and spans into his adulthood, back and forth in time. Some of the stories border on the absurd – like the one about running into a friend who has frozen his hair into the ground – to the heart wrenching, like the one about David’s sister who struggles with drug abuse. And throughout there runs a theme of intergenerational burdens and trying to make good choices but having none. I thought this book was grim and haunting, though surprisingly funny, and the writing is beautiful.
The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty– This was a fun book in a genre I don’t usually read (fantasy). Amina al-Sirafi is a middle-aged retired pirate who agrees to one last lucrative job in the hopes of earning a huge payout which would ensure a life of comfort for her and her daughter. I loved the Middle East/ African setting. I loved Amina, and her world weary, “I’m getting too old for this shit, but I’m still a bad ass” narrative voice. There is a colourful cast of characters and side kicks- the requisite “getting the team together” sequence had me grinning. It also has a tinge of “first in a series”, so that’s something to look forward too as well. Not sure I completely understood the world building and magic elements, but I had a good time anyway. There were some very funny/on point bits: “For while the pious claim money doesn’t buy happiness, I can attest from personal experience that poverty buys nothing.” or this exchange: “[Your wife] knows you are a pirate?” “I am no a pirate,” Majed huffed. “I am a cartographer with a checkered past.” “Yes, a checkered past of piracy.”
On my proverbial night stand:
Life is Hard by Kieran Setiya – I’ve finished the chapter on Injustice, the last two chapters are Absurdity and Hope.
The Brontes: Wild Genius on the Moors by Juliet Barker – so close to finishing this one! Elizabeth Gaskell is writing a biography on Charlotte. Her husband is trying to get her last novel published.
Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi – This book — every chapter rips my heart out and leaves me hanging. I love it and hate it at the same time.
You Dreamed of Empires by Alvaro Enrigue – the blurb calls this a “colonial revenge story”. It’s set in 1519 in what is today Mexico City. The writing is vivid and engrossing. I was looking for a historical novel in translation and this one popped up.
The History of Women in 101 Objects by Annabelle Hirsch – This my current audiobook, but I’m not commuting anymore so it’s been slow going, though fascinating. There was a delightful chapter on The Hatpin read by Helena Bonham Carter.
Last week and this past week was one of those “so many random thoughts came into my head this week”-kind of week. So here’s a random dump of various goings ons since the last week of recaps…
-We went duckpin bowling last weekend. The bowling alley was like stepping back in time. At one point, the guy who brought us our food asked if we could keep the kids from leaning on the ball returns because, “those are original, from the 1950s.” The bowling alley had a deal for six bowlers plus shoes, a large pizza and a pitcher of soda for $105, which seemed like a steal for an afternoon of fun for our family of five.
step back in time! We have to score by hand and math!
-We’ve started rehearsal. I’m working on an opera set in World War I, so my google searches lately have been things like, “1900s German Telegram” and “gas masks” and “1900s pencils”. And my photo roll is full of snapshots from rehearsal as I communicate with the prop master about our rehearsal needs. Here’s a glimpse:
I was like, “What is that?” Paper props“Will this do for the French Lieutenant?”
In case you couldn’t tell, that white blob is a set of rehearsal bagpipes that I fashioned out of a cotton sack and paper and tape because the one we ordered for the show have’t arrived yet. It’s some of my best work. I have to admit I am mad good at making fake props. (I even wrote a post on it…)
-Swim season is finished! Even though I’m so glad that we no longer have to get to the pool every day, I’m a little sad to move on from that part of the summer because for all the complicated logistics, it was fun watching the 12 year old swim and I actually liked having an excuse to get into the pool four nights a week. The 12 year old received one of the Coach’s Choice awards – I’m so proud of her! Every kid also recieves a paper plate award – the 4 year old got “Best Bobber”, the 7 year old got “Best Flutter Kick” and the 12 year old got “Butterflyer at Heart”. How awesome is it that the coaches get together and think of an award for everyone?!
-The schlep every morning to get people places. This is what our foyer looks like in the morning as we get ready to leave:
I have lunchbox, purse, laptop bag, totebag with running clothes in it (in case I have a long dinner break). The kids each have a backpack and lunch. The 7 year old was at skating camp last week, so he also has helmet, winter coat, and his skates. It’s like every day is an expedition. I thought this was funny – him trekking up the hill to the ice arena. For the record, there is a set of stairs just to the right of this picture – he just chose not to use them.
-The 12 year old’s musical theatre showcase was so much fun! I have to admit I might have mouthed the words to her solo in the Shrek scene along with her as she sang it. In addition to musical numbers, they performed some book (spoken) scenes as well. I had kind of dismissed SpongeBob Square Pants the Musical without knowing anything about it, but the kids performed some scenes from it and they were pretty funny. I would be intrigued to see the show. I’m glad we signed the 12 year old up for this camp – I think she’s at an age that she does better at camps where she’s receiving training in something specific rather than general “have fun” camps. Though I still have hopes that she will want to go to a sleepaway camp at some point too. Also, last week, the theatre camp program took all the kids to New York to see Hamilton. How cool is that? They left on the 8am Vamoose bus and came home at 11pm. Everything – the bus, the show, and dinner – was covered by the camp fees. We sent her with a bagged lunch and some money. It seems like such a milestone for us – we’ve never sent our kid on a trip like this without us. (Well, when she was a baby, my parents would take her to California during the summers, but this feels different because she’s expected to behave and make good choices on her own….) She had an amazing time. But also – it made me think that maybe a day trip to NYC to see a show is a pretty easy thing and I should do that with her at some point this fall.
-My aunt passed away last week. She was my father’s oldest sister. We weren’t exactly close – she lived in Houlong, a small town in Taiwan, and I’ve seen her maybe ten times in my life. But whenever we went to visit she was always so welcoming and generous with her time, making sure that I was enjoying myself, constantly feeding me, taking us around the town on her little scooter. I suppose I am getting to an age where aunts and uncles will soon start to pass – all of my father’s siblings live in Taiwan, and it seems a little unreal to me to hear news of their passings. Since I so rarely go to Taiwan, it is easy to forget, and to think that my aunt will always be there, and that I will see her when I go back this winter.
-On a lighter note – this tweet made me laugh. It is so so so true for us too:
The tweet was linked through this New York Times article on people’s grocery shopping habits. The article was super interesting and indulged a certain voyeur in me. My main takeaway was that Americans buy a lot of cheese. I feel like we buy a lot of cucumbers, apples, berries, and bread. And yes, cheese. What can’t you wait to stop spending money on?
– Taiwanese Sausage! There are many boba places near work, and one of them also sells food, including Taiwanese sausage. It brings back such memories of being at the Night Markets in Taiwan. I’m trying to limit my boba consumption this summer, but Taiwanese sausage might be a dangerous gateway.
-another food related thing – My favorite salad these days – With the summer glut of zucchini, I’ve been making shaved zucchini salad for lunches. No real recipe, but this is what I do- with a peeler, shave the zucchini into ribbons. Add, salt, pepper, olive oils and red wine vinegar (or whatever acid. I would also use lemons if we had lemons). Mix it up to make sure the ribbons are all dressed. Sprinkle with fresh mint, walnuts, parmesan cheese. Top with an egg for protein. I also threw in some lettuce because we had some to use up. It’s been my go to lunch for the past two weeks. This is my entry in Tobia’s summer salad challenge :).
A Week of Outfits: The Sunday before the first day of rehearsal, I put together 6 outfits to get me through the week because I knew the mornings would be really busy with three drop offs . It made my part of the morning so much easier not to have to think of what to wear. I’ve been hearing a lot about “Three Words” styling method, where you choose three words to describe your sense of style. There are a variety of the theme floating around, but one version is – one word that is your baseline style, one word that is describes your style aspirations, and one word that describes how you want to feel in your clothes. (I’ve read somewhere that “comfortable” isn’t a style word because we all want to be comfortable.. Because otherwise that would be my word for all three categories.) My words always change, but I think at the moment, I’m going to choose – Colourful, effortless, and playful. I will say, I have a few requirements of my clothes – I have to be able to move easily in it since I move and lift things a lot in rehearsals. Things have to be long enough that I don’t flash the world when I bend down or sit on the ground. Though I do sometime wear bike shorts underneath if it seems dicy. No button or things that I have to zip up the back. I have to get dressed by myself and have never mastered the art of zipping up the back of my own dress. Natural fibers if possible. Elastic waist bands. Pockets. Not black. I wear black a lot when I’m backstage so I try to avoid it when I’m not backstage. Machine washable.
I thought I’d post here the week of outfits. Excuse the bad photos – I’m by no means a fashion blogger. Think of this as “What does a middle aged stage manager mother of three wear?”
Monday: I didn’t take a picture on Monday but it was my blue Wool& Sierra tank dress with a flower patterned Uniqlo shirt over it. Because I’m too lazy top put it back on, here is it on the hanger:
Tuesday – Linen shirt dress. I love this dress because it is so easy breezy. Also – the sleeves are long. I’m trying to cover my arms, or at least my left arm because it gets a lot of sun during my daily commute, so I want a little bit of protection. This is the upper limit of short for me.
Masking because of a COVID precaution. It really took me back…
Wednesday: Poplin stiped skirt, Uniqlo shirt. The skirt is a new purchase – it was on the sale rack at JCPenney’s for $15. I love a nice skirt with pockets and an elastic waistband – there was a whole rack of these skirts, and I thought, “Why aren’t people buying this perfect for summer skirt?!?!?” The label says dirndl skirt, which I thought was funny.
Thursday: Hand me down cardigan from my cousin, yellow and white striped t-shirt from Pact, orange crinkle pants from Old Navy.
Friday: Red Wool& dress with J.Crew poplin men’s button up. The shirt is thrifted and I love everything about it. When I first saw it on the Men’s rack, I thought it had been mishung, but it really is a men’s shirt. Also – I really love my new hair with sunglasses.
Saturday – Was the day off, so no picture. I spent it in running shorts, a sports bra, and a running tank, on the off chance I got out for a run. Which didn’t happen.
Sunday: Olive green shirt dress (Uniqlo) with hat. I love this dress – so easy to wear. It does come with a belt, but I never belt it. I actually bought it when i was pregnant even though it’s not maternity wear. I thought the outfit needed a little something, so I threw on a hat. I used to have many summer hats, but I can only find this one blue one right now. I’ll have to look for the others. At least this hat matches my shoes. (On the note of shoes – I alternate between two pair of shoes in the summer – a pair of aqua Allbirds and a blue slip on Oofos. These are both getting a little worn in the soles, so I’ll need to replace them soon. I’m annoyed that Allbirds now only come in boring grey/black/neutral colours.)
Grateful For (It’s a long list this time because I realized I have two weeks worth here.): -The Husband. He’s been the primary parent while I’ve been in rehearsals – he’s picked up kids, stayed home with sick ones, arranged play dates, made dinner, made needed purchases, scheduled work on the house, paid contractors… a lot. I feel downright lazy for only having to get the kids to school/camp then go to work every day.
-A box of veggies. Our neighbor was going out of town – you know, just an impulsive trip to the Bahamas like you do when your kids are all older and at camp – so he asked if we would feed his fish and also take this box of veggies from the Farmer’s market. Yes please!
-That I’ve lived to have seen – twice each – a woman run for President and a person of colour run for President. (This might be pre-mature thinking, but probably not.) Look, I don’t care about any one person’s politics. I mean I have my opinions (left leaning, in case it wasn’t clear), but I’m always curious and interested in what people think across the spectrum. I do care, though, that we live in a world where people should see aspects of themselves represented on a national and international stage. Growing up, I wanted to be blond because success was often embodied by beautiful blond people. I’m glad that, hopefully, that is not what achievement has to look like to my kids.
-Google Translate. The current opera is in three different languages since it tells the story of the Scottish, French, and German soldiers. My French is passable enough that I can understand the text, but my German is not (I only took two semesters of German in college.) Enter the miracle of Google Translate – I can just point it at the text, and it translates it for me! Now I know exactly why we need a telegram for that scene and what it should say.
-The Lost and Found. I swear, every day the 7 year old comes home from camp with one less item than when I sent him in the morning. Thank goodness, the camp puts the lost and found out front by the sign in table.
-Other people driving. The past two weeks have been a lot of driving for everyone. Because I work so far away, the Husband had taken over driving to swim practice – so grateful for him for doing that because it is really busy. Then this week, my friend has been driving the 12 year old to her camp because her theatre camp starts at the exact same time as the 7 year old’s ice skating camp. Since my friend’s kids go to a camp not too far from theatre camp, she’s been dropping the 12 year old in the morning. A million thanks to her for doing that.
– The singer M who let me into the building when I had left my swipe card inside after hours. As I was leaving work one day, I went to reach for my car keys, and realized that they were in my purse, which were in the rehearsal hall in the building, the doors of which were swinging shut behind me. Cue PANIC. It was 9pm in the evening and everything was locked and everyone was gone. But then, I saw a singer coming back from dinner to pick up his car, and I have never been so grateful to see a singer in my life. Relief washed over me. He was able to swipe me in and I retrieved my stuff.
-Hand me down bras! I need to re-evaluate my bra game – I’m still wearing nursing bras and my youngest kid will soon be five. But to be fair, those nursing bras are the most comfortable bras I’ve ever worn. When my cousin was visiting, she gave me a whole bag of bras that she had outgrown. Last week, I pulled them out to try on, and they are actually the same Uniqlo bras that I used to buy before I got pregnant with my third kid. Only she bought them in Taiwan so all the labels are in Chinese so it took me a while to realize they were the same bras. What a nice and useful coincidence.
Looking forward to: -A weekend alone/ hanging out with a friend. The Husband is taking the kids out on an overnight, but I have to work, so I’ll stay behind. I’ll have a glorious day to myself, though. Things on my “want to do” list: – hang out with my friend, probably hiking – set the thermostat at 76. – clean one thing. Either my desk or my craft table or the toy room? – paint some cards. – make a batch of hard boiled eggs for next week. -maybe bake something else. -read -write recaps ffor our Maine trip – run, or maybe even swim? That’s a lot – I probably won’t get to all that, though.
– We have a friend coming in to town to come see my show in a few weeks. I always love having company. Especially company that is forgiving of the mess and chaos that is life with three kids.
-The Olympics!!! Always fun to watch and hear the stories.
-Started this Audiobook. I’ve never read Emilie Henry, and when I was looking for a new audiobook for my commute I saw this was read by Julia Whelan, so thought, “If nothing else, the narration will be good!” The 12 year old borrowed Book Lovers on audio and has been listening to it, so I figured it wouldn’t be bad to see what all the buzz is about. So far I’ve laughed out loud many times.
What We Ate (two weeks worth – it’s been a very … functional few weeks of eating.) Monday- Sandwiches at the pool for the Husband and kids. I had veggies and fruit when I got home from work
Tuesday: Chicken salad wraps at the pool. I had tomato furikake sandwiches at home when I got off work. Basically mayo, sliced tomato, furikake seasoning on toasted bread. It was tasty and summer.
Wednesday: Meet the Husband and two little kids for dinner at a hot dog/burger restaurant. I arrived on the late side and ate chili cheese fries and leftover hot dog buns and sausage. I often realize that when we go to restaurants, I don’t really need to order myself food, I can just eat what the kids don’t eat…
Thursday: I ate leftover chicken salad wraps from Tuesday. Not sure what the rest of the family ate.
Friday: Swim Team Pasta Dinner Potluck. I made sesame noodles w/ chicken, cucumber, and peppers. I always feel self conscious about bringing sesame noodles to the Pasta Potluck, but it’s really easy to make and I think it makes a nice break for people who don’t eat tomatoes… (There were leftovers which I was happy to eat all week>)
Saturday: Pizza take out and The Frog Prince. (Which I might have slept through because I was really tired by this point of the week.)
Sunday: Leftover pizza for me. The rest of the family had pizza at the swim team awards banquet.
Monday: Eggplant stir fry with fish. The Husband cooked. This was really tasty as leftovers.
Tuesday: Grilled Chicken drumsticks, steamed broccoli, and leftover eggplant stir fry. I was working this night, so I marinated the chicken ahead of time and the Husband grilled it when he got home. I did a whole Costco size pack of drumsticks so the kids could take them for lunch.
Wednesday: The family went out to eat and I met them at ice cream when I got off work. I had a sandwich for dinner… that is an ice cream sandwich.
Thursday: Green beans and box Mac N Cheese for the Husband and kids. I had leftover sesame noodles at work.
Friday: Chinese Take-out for the Husband and kids and some friends they had over. I had, again, sesame noodles at work.
Okay – I’m off to continue my child-free day!
What’s your favorite summer outfit? Ten points if you can tell me what that stick like prop is.
Two interesting book-related links to share first –
This article: “The Joy of Reading Books You Don’t Entirely Understand.” The author makes a case for reading deeply and challenging yourself. For not letting a difficult book, or a book in which you have no context intimidate you into not reading it. I makes me think about how Engie writes in her book recaps about things she’s had to look up. I think there are two things, though – there are books that are set in a world that I know nothing about, and then there are books where I feel like I ought to understand what is happening, but for reasons of writing or plot or what not (or even my own headspace at the time), I just can’t wrap my head around what is going on. I just quit an audiobook last week that I couldn’t make heads or tails out of. I couldn’t tell where the story was going or what it was doing. Am I missing out by abandoning this book? Am I under-estimating the joy I could have from just reading as a meditative exercise? Though, when I want that kind of immersive, dense kind of reading experience, I turn to poetry. Reading a book I don’t understand has not yet gotten me to a nirvana state yet. What am I missing here?
The New York Times released a list of “Best” books of the 21st Century. It’s an interesting endeavor. Of course it’s completely subjective and leans heavily towards books originally written in the English language, and what I think of as “prestige” reading. There is a distinct lack of genre fiction. Of the 100, I’ve only read 11. There are several books on the list that I would be interested in reading, mostly the non-fiction choices. But honestly there are a lot of books that I’m not interested in reading. Life is too short, you know… And reading is such a subjective thing. Reading through the list, I had a few thoughts – – there is something that takes all the joy out of reading when it is turned into a competitive sport – check the boxes for the books you’ve read!!! I don’t want to feel bad about not reading something on the list, but there is a sense of “Oh, I’m not well-read…” -The part that I found the most fascinating was the individual author’s list of their top 10 picks. Sarah MacLean has a list! -Maybe I’m not the target audience for a list like this. There are a lot of books I enjoyed reading more than My Brilliant Friend. But then, I go back to the article I mentioned at the top of this post – Was I expecting to understand more of the book than I needed to? -As always, the comment section is gold. Tons more book recs to be found there. -I’ve probably spent more time reading about this list of 100 books than I have actually reading a book this past 24 hours.
Anyhow – on to the books I read in June. A lighter month. Not quite sure why.
Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon – Historical novel about a midwife in revolutionary war Maine. I enjoyed reading this book- the protagonist, Martha Ballard, was a pretty great character and really liked the relationship with her husband and children all the details of her life as a midwife. The author’s notes at the end were fascinating. In my head, though, I kept comparing it to another book I read years ago – Hearts and Bones by Margaret Lawrence – also about a mid-wife in eighteenth century Maine solving a mystery. I LOVED Heart and Bones. If you find a copy, you should read it. It’s a very different book from Frozen River – the story is a lot darker, the ending not as satisfying, but in a good way. The writing… the writing is SO GOOD, a little dense, but the kind of book that completely transported me. I need to find a copy of Hearts and Bones and re-read it. But -okay I was talking originally about Frozen River – I thought it was a pretty good historical mystery novel, though I felt like the “mystery” was maybe the weakest part of the story and the plot veered towards “woman in peril” thriller at the end. Everything up until that part, though, I really liked.
The Comeback by Lily Chu, read by Philippa Soo – This book, about a woman who inadvertently starts dating a K-pop star, was the 12 year old and my Mother-daughter book club book – we listened to it together when running errands or hanging out. We both really liked this book, and laughed quite a bit. I’ve read/listened to all three of Chu’s books, and while they get billed as romance novels, I’m here for the strong women, their friendships, and the voyage of self discovery. The romantic interests are always dreamy and cute, but also kind of… rote. I think The Stand In is still my favorite of the three, but this one was great too. And I’ve been listening to some K-pop to go along with this book, which is a genre I know nothing about. “It’s like American pop songs, but I can’t understand the words they are singing,” I said to the 12 year old. “Yeah…” she replied in that, “I know, isn’t it great?!?” Kind of tone.
Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser and Robyn Smith – Mid month, when I was kind of in a reading slump, I borrowed a bunch of graphic novels, and Wash Day Diaries was one of them. This book features five interconnected stories about a group of friends in the Bronx who go about the ordinary business and ordinary drama of their days. It’s nice to see a book centered on strong female friendships. Also – as someone with pretty low maintenance hair, seeing hair washing as a ritual event, was really fascinating. (Side note – I was reading about graphic novels in audio form and decided to listen to a sample of one – it was kind of like listening to a radio play. When I’m done my current audiobook, I might explore a graphic novel on audio.)
My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout – I picked up this book from a Little Free Library a while ago, and it has just been languishing on my bookshelf. When I did a huge re-organization of the bookshelf a while back I pulled this as one to read since it was a slim volume and I thought I could read it quickly. I did not read it quickly – not through any fault of the book, but I just kept misplacing the book and then it would fall off my radar for a while. I thought this book was really well written, but – you know that thing where you read a book blurb, but don’t really read it quite correctly, and then the book ends up not being what you were lead to believe? I, for some reason, thought Lucy Barton was 90 years old on her death bed and I spend the first little bit thinking that her mother was a ghost. And as I read further, it quickly became clear that that wasn’t what was going on. So then I spent the rest of the book feeling a little lost. Anyhow, there are a lot of sad things in this book. A lot of beautifully written realizations in this book. But it was such an internal book, I didn’t get a sense of who Lucy really was – she spends so much time talking about the past that I didn’t know who present day Lucy was. And maybe that’s the point? That we can’t encapsulate who we are, that we contain many facets, even to ourselves? I finished the book feeling like there must be more in Lucy’s story.
Landslide by Susan Conley – I read this book while in Maine, one of the suggestions from a Maine reading list. This novel is about a documentary filmmaker living on the coast of Maine, and how her life with her two teenage sons is upended when her fisherman husband is involved in an accident while fishing off the coast of Nova Scotia. I really loved this book, and how the struggles and joys of living in a community with a dying industry figure prominently. Reading this book as we drove up the coast of Maine, really made me think about how these coastal towns are having a hard time surviving, yet how the people who live there have such a strong sense of place. I love how Conley also writes about the ironies and triumphs and angst and confusion that comes with raising teenagers, particularly teenage boys. I knew I wanted to read more of this book, when I read this on the very first page: I tell myself it’s a beautiful face. It’s important to tell myself that many things about teenage boys are beautiful so I don’t panic. or this: “I’m trying to adhere to the say-very-little strategy, but when Sam [oldest son] gets to me I can’t help myself.”
Or this:
“I’ve started keeping a running list in my mind of things I need to do for the wolves[her sons] On bad days I call this the List of Resent ments. I try not to think about the list. But my brain would have worked differently without the boys. I think it would have stayed more open, and that I would be making more films and not a List of Resentments.”
It’s not all about the narrator’s feelings on the complexities of motherhood, though. This book is just felt real and honest about the good and bad things in life, and how hard it is to hold yourself together and be an adult when life isn’t going very well.
On my proverbial Night Stand. I am 3/4 of the way through many books, and barely into a few others. I don’t know how I got to the point of having so many books going at once. Hopefully we’ll finish them in July?
The Brontes: Wild Genius on the Moors: – I haven’t made much progress in this book this month. Charlotte is dead, a biography has been commissioned, but there is some drama with that.
Night of the Living Rez by Morgan Tatly- Another book from the Maine reading list – this one is a group of short stories centering around two men who live on the same reservation. Tatly has a new book out and I want to finish this book before I pick up his new one.
Blankets by Craig Thompson – graphic novel memoir about Thompson’s childhood and young adulthood as he grapples with the conflict between his first relationship and his faith. I had left this book out and both the 12 year old and the 7 year old started reading it because, you know, it’s got pictures! Must be appropriate. It was for sure not 100% appropriate for the 7 year old.
Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty – Middle aged female pirate on one last mission. I had started this, got sucked in, then had to return it to the library and it took months for it to come off the Libby holds list. BUT I then found it on Hoopla, where everything is always available immediately. So now I can jump right back in. Can’t wait to see how things turnout.
Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk – Picked this up from a Little Free Library – it’s my current poolside read because I actually own this book so I don’t have to worry about library fine in case it accidentally drops in the water.
Life is Hard by Kieran Setiya – Still plugging away at this. I’m on the chapter on Injustice. The last chapter was on Failure.
The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White – read aloud to the kids at bedtime
The Turnout by Megan Abbott – Thriller set in the world of a ballet studio during Nutcracker season.
What have you read lately? Do you ever read books you don’t understand?
I read a lot in April, but I didn’t read much in May because work was really busy, Lots of audiobooks because of commuting, though…
Last Night at The Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo – I picked up this book from my sister in law when I was visiting them in Berkeley. This novel is about Lily Hu, growing up in 1950s San Francisco and how she begins to question and explore her sexuality. It’s always fun to read a book about the place that I’m visiting, particularly since we did go to Chinatown and I had a frame of reference for some of the streets mentioned in the book. I loved all the historical details, and thinking about life as a Chinese American in mid century America. I thinkultimately, though, coming of age novels aren’t really my jam right now. I find I get impatient to know what happens to a character once they break free of childhood so I’m always a little disappointed when the books end with them just starting their journey. I liked reading this book and all the characters, but I just wanted there to be more story and less personal angst. I think this is definitely a “me” problem because the book is beautiful written and well researched.
Textbook by Amy Krouse Rosenthal – A 2016 collection of writings, micro essays, drawings, and some things I can’t define. I first heard of Amy Krause Rosenthal through her delightful children’s books. (Oh gosh – I just googled her and she passed away in 2017, which makes me so sad now and tinges the book with bittersweetness) This book has an interactive texting component to it, which given that she has passed away, makes that element really poignant. Anyhow, this book is structured in class subjects and she uses each subject as a lens through which she examines all the things that give us angst and give us joy. I really loved this book – the book is very dog eared from all the passages I wanted to mark. I laughed and laughed so hard. Some favorite excerpts: Under Social Studies: “You run into someone from elementary school, someone you haven’t seen in forever. How have you been what have you been up to?! There are many ways to come at their questions, but considering your shared history – you were once prepubescent fort-makers together – there sis really only one response: What have I been up to? I’ll tell you the biggest, craziest things since I last saw you: A few humans tumbled out of my lady parts.“
Under Midterm Essay, about hitting middle age: “An so it was, everything around me had a bittersweet sheen to it; moments were dramatically stamped FLEETING and TRANSIENT as I roamed about. A simple exchange between my son and me, for example, felt epic in its beauty and poignancy; all that happened was that he tapped on his bedroom window, I looked up at him from the sidewalk below, and he waved…. I lost it when my daughter excitedly asked me to quick come outside, watch this; See how fast my new sneakers make me run? I didn’t exactly have a midlife crisis. I had a mid-life cry-bliss. “
And also has pithy charts and drawings like this one under Language Arts:
Murder Your Employer- the McMaster’s Guide to Homicide by Rupert Holmes – This is a novel about how to, well, murder your employer. I borrowed the audio book because it was narrated by Neil Patrick Harris and Simon Vance. The novel centers around Cliff, who is recruited to a school that trains people in murder, kind of a Hogwarths for would be killers. I thought this book was gleefully convoluted, and Holmes skewers the mystery genre to perfection. If you’re not into murder mysteries this might not be your thing, but if you do like them, this will feel delightfully similar in tone to Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone.
The Obsession by Jesse Q Sutanto – Read for Mother Daughter Book Club. The 12 year old picked this out and then told me I had to read it. It’s about a high school boy who developed an obsessive crush on a classmate and how his crush retaliates. I didn’t love this book – all the characters are either morally terrible or clueless in a harmful way. The 12 year old loved it though – she loves novels with a good twist and this one was quite twisty. I did yelp out loud at one point. I have enjoyed other books by Jess Q Sutano, though – I think she writes fun and entertaining books.
My Brilliant Friend be Elena Ferrente– FINALLY finished this book from Cool Bloggers Book Club. My take away – WTF? Who are all these people? I mean a) literally in the sense that I couldn’t keep track of all the characters, and b) I could never figure out what they were about.
How Beautiful We Were by Imbolo Mbue – This beautifully written novel is about a village in Africa that is contaminated by the digging on their land by a BIG American corporation. The villagers spend years trying to get the big company to stop the digging and to pay reparations for all the death and disease the digging and toxic run off has has caused. The effort has a huge cost to the people of the village. This was a sad and frustrating read for me, as might be expected whenever a story pits people without resources against huge corporations and corrupt governments. I really liked this book, despite that- or maybe because of it. Mbue finds surprising nuances and complexities in corruption and survival.
The Tattooist of Auchwitz by Heather Morris, read by Richard Armitage– I picked this audiobook because it was read by Richard Armitage, who I’ve been a fan of since the BBC production of North and South. As might be expected from the title, this is a very very sad book – the misery was a little unrelenting. At the same time, I thought there were parts of it that were stunning even in the face of the autrocities of the Holoucaust.
Sourdough by Robin Sloan, read by Therese Plummer– I picked this up becauae I saw it on a list of short audiobooks. It is about a young computer programmer who moves to the Bay Area to work for a tech company and starts making sourdough bread in her spare time. I thought this satirical and charming book was a fun read, but the end was a little unhinged and bizarre. The astute observations on life in the Bay area made me laugh. There were parts that made me want to revive my sourdough starter and start baking bread again, the descriptions of bread baking were so evocative and romantic. I don’t love books where the ending comes out of left field, and this book kind of just left me scratching my head. I listened to a lot of this during late night commutes and there were parts where I thought, “Maybe this doesn’t make sense because I’m tired’.” And I’d go back and re-listen, a couple times even. But nope, the story was just that odd in places.
My Fair Brady by Brian D. Kennedy – YA novel set in the world of high school theatre. (I suggested this as a mother daughter book club book, but I’m not sure the 12 year old read it.) High school senior Wade is passed over for the lead in the school production of My Fair Lady, so he decides to befriend Elijah in an attempt to show people how not self centered he is. Elijah on the other hand has joined the lighting crew for the show in order to make some friends, and jumps at th eopportunity to make friends with super popular Wade. I always find theatre books fun to read – seeing what an author got right or wrong compared to my own experiences. I loved those details in this book, but I didn’t love Wade. The concept of the book is based on what an asshole Wade is, but the story is told in first person and I find it very rare that people truly come off as assholes in first person.
On my proverbial night stand:
Landslide by Susan Conley- Maine author to go with our Maine trip. Really enjoying this book.
Life is Hard: How Philisophy can Help us Find Our Way by Kieran Setiya- A couple years ago I read Setiya’s book Midlife: a Philosophical Guide, and found it so thoughtful to read. This book is about the various things that can make life challenging- infirmity, loneliness, failure, injustice- and seeing if phlosophy can help us navigate them,
Wild Genius On The Moors by Juliet Baker- Charlotte Brontë has died! Yet there are still thirty pages to go….
To Night Owl from Dogfish by Holly Goldberg Sloan and Meg Wolitzer, audiobook- charming epistolatory novel about two 12 year olds whose fathers have met and fallen in love- it’s a little too cute sometimes (perhaps because of the audiobook format) but mostly proving delightful.
The Trumpet of the Swan by E. B. White- reading aloud at bedtime to the kids,
Night of the Living Rez by Morgan Talty- another Maine author- a collection of interconnected short stories. I’m enjoying to so far.
It’s almost June, but here’s what I read in March. I didn’t plan it this way, but March was a very romance heavy month.
The Marquis Who Musn’t by Courtney Milan – This is the second book in Milan’s Wedgeford Trials book that centers on a 19th century village in England with a huge Asian immigrant population. Naomi Kwan wants to take ambulance classes and learn first aid, but as a single woman, is constantly told she couldn’t. She enters into a fake engagement with the handsome new in town Liu Ji Kai in order to register for classes as an engaged woman. But Kai has other motives for being in town. Warm friendship ensues. Not my favorite Milan – her plotting is a little clunky, but I can always count on her for smart characters, fascinating and well researched historical settings, and good writing with some spot on sentiments. Sentiments like this: “Is that why she hasn’t yelled at me anymore about the ambulance class?” Her aunt simply shook her head. “Since when does my older sister yell?” Naomi felt her nose wrinkle. “Technically correct. Emotionally false.” Or this one: “Let me teach you a trick,” Mr. Liu said. “You seem to need some way to fend off questions, and this works for about everything… Go ahead. Repeat the question you just asked me.” “Who are you?” He gave her a cutting look – a sweep of his eyes from head to toe as if he were a scythe, slashing her down. “My private situation is none of your business.” She staggered back. He radiated triumph. “See? Easy enough.” “Easy for you,” She muttered. “How do you expect me to use that at home? Have you no parents?” Even in 19th century England, Milan has captured the angst I often feel as an Asian daughter.
Ten Things that Never Happened by Alexis Hall, read by Will Watt – Amnesia plots are absolutely not my thing, but this book kind of turns that trope on its head. Sam runs a bed and bath store and thinks his jerk CEO/boss Jonathan is going to fire him, endangering the jobs of all his employees, so when Sam has an accident while talking to Jonathan, he fakes amnesia to buy himself time. Of course uneasy friendship, respect, understanding, and love ensues. Along with a pretty terrific cat. I really enjoyed this book- it was laugh out loud funny in places, and beautifully touching in others. I loved the narrator- he made this book the audio equivalent of all my favorite Bdritish rom coms rolled into one, with a colourful and hilarious cast of characters.
Brazen and the Beast by Sarah MacLean – second novel in the Bareknuckle Bastards series. I really like Sarah MacLean- her novels are really well written, her heroines are smart and independent and there are always finely detailed secondary characters. This novel involves Hattie, who wants to run her father’s shipping business, and Beast who is… actually I’m a little foggy on the twists and turns of the plot points and how Hattie and Beast got involved. I think that bit was a little thin. It involves a long held grudge and a smuggling ring. Hattie and Beast were great characters. The plot was… incidental.
The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan – slight and pithy. To be honest, I don’t remember much of it, though my notes seem to indicate that I found a lot of it worth highlighting. It’s the story of a romance where each chapter is based on a letter of the alphabet.
The L section, is Latitude – “ What a strange phrase- not seeing other people. As if it’s been constructed to be a lie. We see people all the time, the question is what we do about it.” Isn’t that always the question?
S for scapegoat – “I think our top two are: not enough coffee. Too much coffee.” Also so true.
X for ..x – “Doesn’t it strike you as strange that we have a letter in the alphabet that nobody uses? It represents one-twenty-sixth of the possibility of our language, and we let it languish. If you and I really, truly wanted to change the world, we’d invent more words that started with x.”
Daring and the Duke by Sarah MacLean– this was the final book in her Bare Knuckle Bastard series. After I read Brazen and the Beast, I figured I might as well finish the series. I enjoyed it, but not as much as Brazen and the Beast. I really wanted this book to be an epic saga in the vein of Gone With The Wind or Thorn Birds. The heroine Grace is a fascinating character and I wanted to read about how she ran away from her childhood home and built her empire, but the story starts after she’s already become a powerful figure in the underworld. Ewan is fine, complicated and kind of puzzling to me, and he’s the least interesting part of Grace’s story. Also- massive overuse of the word “lush”.
The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillroy– this book was on a San Francisco reading list and since we were about to go to San Francisco, I put it on my Libby holds. Then a few days before we were going to leave for the Bay Area, I saw a copy of it in the Little Free Library in front of our piano teacher’s house. How fortuitous! Anyhow- this book was fine. It features a meet cute in an elevator in Sam Francisco, an impromptu wedding date and then dating life. It was pleasant enough but there was a certain lack of tension in the relationship- the book features two smart independent people who clearly like each other- they just have to figure out the logistics. The things that could have made the book interesting – namely, she’a Black and he’s White- gets mentioned and then dropped and never really addressed.
On my proverbial Night stand:
The Brontes: Wild Genius on the Moors- so close to finishing this one. Charlotte is getting married!!!!!
My Fair Brady- YA book set in the world of the high school musical.
Sourdough by Robin Sloan – audiobook that I picked because it was on the shorter side and I knew I could get through it before my commutes got shorter. It’s about a woman working in tech who inherits a sourdough starter and it changes her life. Makes me want to revive those starters in my fridge.
The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi – middle aged female pirate, leaves her ten year old daughter at home to carry our one last, hopefully lucrative, assignment. It is proving delightful so far. I’m laughing a lot.
I finished a lot more books in February than I usually do, but some of them were pretty slight, in size, not necessarily in subject.
Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know by Samira Ahmed – Mother Daughter book club read. I feel like this book was the YA version of Byatt’s Possession- a literary mystery with a twist of romance. I thought there was a lot about this book I wanted to like – the protagonist is an American/French/Indian/Muslim teenager and I love reading that kind of diversity in books, reading about her spending a summer in Paris was pure wish fulfillment for me. But ultimately, I didn’t love the angsty teenage bits. I mean the ex-boyfriend is clearly an asshole, and I got really frustrated that the main character pined for him so much.
The End We Start From by Megan Hunter– short, quick read. This book was recently made into a movie, and I read a movie review, which made the book sound interesting. The book is about a great flood that destroys the world – or maybe just London – and the main character is trying to get to safety with her infant son. The writing is very sparse and poetic, and also rather vague in details, so I kind of always felt like I didn’t quite know what was going on. Even still, a lot of what the main character thinks and feels as she watches her son grow really resonated with me. This passage: “One day Z finally does it. I have placed him on the bed for three minutes while I put our thing away… He chooses these three minutes, from all the minutes of our life, to master his latest milestone. He flips off the bed and onto the floor, rushing his triumph under a wall of crying, a never-ending hurling of his disappointment at the universe. I am a terrible mother, I thin, nestling his unbroken body into my own. P comes, and O and they tell me no. It happens to everyone.” As someone who has had all three children fall off a bed while an infant, I totally felt this.
and this: “Then we say the secret: there is no skill. There is only another person, smaller than you.” Oh the beautiful precious burden of caring for another being!
What You are Looking For is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama – A slight yet charming book about various people looking for direction in life. The title pretty much sums it up. The book takes place in Japan, and each chapter focusses on one person who wanders into a library. The enigmatic librarian manages to help them pick the perfect book, the book that they needed in that moment in their life. This was a quick and easy read, almost like a fable. As a library lover, I very much enjoyed this book.
Untangled by Lisa Damour – This book has the unfortunate subtitle: “Guiding Teenage Girls through the Seven transitions into Adulthood.” I found this book really useful for framing what it is like to be a teenager and also the parent of a teenager. Damour has a wonderful metaphor about how we are the side of a swimming pool and sometimes our daughters need to cling to us to keep afloat, but they will eventually let go and go back to swimming in the water. Our job is to be here when she gets tired of swimming and needs something to hold on to. I stuck so many sticky notes in this book – things to think about and things to say. I love when parenting books give me specific scripts to use. I thought this book fantastic and has a good blend of science and compassionate steps. It has helped me feel less anxious about bad behavior and actually weigh the bad behavior before I react, and really let it go sometimes. These are my takeaways: be non-judgemental – all kids do stupid stuff; they’re just trying to figure it out. Be available. Believe in your kid.
One quote: “Our daughters have a good reason to point out our limitations: they want us to be better. They will only ever have one set of parents and they are newly aware that we are far from perfect. Ever hopeful, our daughters think we’ll improve if they point out our flaws.” Wow, such an interesting framing – my kid just wants me to be a better parent. I mean we might have different ideas of what a “good” parent, is, but this is such an interesting way to think about the dynamic, especially when it is hard.
Shakespeare was a Woman and Other Heresies by Elizabeth Winkler, read by Eunice Wong– This book was an Audie Award finalist for non-fiction and available from the library right away, so I checked it out. The book grew out of an Atlantic article that the author wrote, of the same name. I think I was expecting something a little more academic than this book turned out to be. Or maybe the scholarship aspects didn’t really come out on the audio version. As it was, the book was more of the author’s personal account of her journey exploring the question of the authorship of Shakespeare’s plays than a scholarly exploration of the topic. I felt myself wanting to know more about how we know what we know and the historical day to days. I didn’t come out feeling like I knew more about Shakespeare than before. Or maybe that is partly the point – how Shakespeare is kind of a great unknown. One thing that did stick with me was the irony that despite writing such well educated and eloquent women, Shakespeare’s daughters were, surprisingly, never educated. This is one of the things that makes people question whether or not Shakespeare wrote the plays.
Funerals are Fatal by Agatha Christie– cozy and convoluted. It had the kind of resolution that was very specific to the situation set up. I guessed before the end whom the murderer was, but not the motive. The motive bit I actually found very satisfying. Not necessarily top shelf classic Christie, but still very entertaining.
Black Ghosts: A Journey Into the Lives of Africans in China by Noo Saro-Wiwa, read by the author – Africans in China was not something I had ever thought about, but I found really fascinating once I started listening to this audiobook. Maybe it’s because I’m the child of immigrants, but I’ve always been interested by stories of migration and what leads a person to take the difficult step of leaving a life behind and moving to another country. Like Shakespeare Is a Woman, Black Ghosts was more memoir than a historical non-fiction book, and I did find myself sometimes wishing for more of the latter. This book follows Saro-Wiwa as she explores the various pockets of African populations in China and contemplates how they came to be, asking people why they came to China and how they have developed the relationships and ties that keep them there. Some of the book feels like it encourages negative stereotypes of both Chinese and African people, and that made me a little uncomfortable, but then I do wonder if that just speaks to a bigger issue of how the African people in China will never be able to integrate fully? Anyhow, I thought this book had some very interesting observations of both Chinese and African culture and how they intersect, or don’t. One thing that stuck with me was the observation she makes, when she talks about why someone would want to live in such a restrictive country as China, about how Chinese people have very little freedom, but the government provides them with a lot of services, whereas in Nigeria the people have a democracy, but no government services.
On my Proverbial Bedside Table:
Daring and the Duke by Sarah MacLean – I’ve been on a bit of a romance novel kick lately and Sarah MacLean writes very good ones.
Wild Genius on the Moors: Still. But ooooh… someone likes Charlotte. There might a wedding in the future.
My Brilliant Friend – I am still reading this. I know Engie’s book club has wrapped up, but I just couldn’t keep up.
Coleman Hill – on audio. A fictional recounting of the author’s family. It centers around two Black families in New Jersey who came from the south in search of better opportunities. Some of it is really sad.
The year got off to a slow reading start, but there were some really good books read:
Rosewood: A Midsummer Meet Cute by Sayantani DasGupta: Read this for the Mother/Daughter book club. It’s a YA modern day twist on Sense and Sensibility, set at a Jane Austen summer camp where the producer of a Bridgerton-esque show are scouting for extras. I’m always down for a Jane Austen adaptation, but I was actually a little confused when this book didn’t exactly follow the original source material. In the notes afterwards, the author said she didn’t want a faithful adaptation, so I guess that makes sense. I thought this book was fine, if a little improbable. The 12 year old said that the Pride and Prejudice adaptation was better – it’s called Debating Darcy and set on a high school debate team. I’m intrigued.
The Monsters We Defy by Leslye Penelope, read by Shayna Small: Whenever I’m looking for an audiobook recommendation, I look on the Audie awards page and see if anything jumps out at me. This one definitely did. It’s a historical fantasy heist novel set in Washington D.C among the world of the 1920’s Black elite. Clara can talk to spirits, but is deeply indebted to one in particular. When she gets a chance to win her freedom by stealing a piece of jewelry, she assembles a team of misfits with supernatural talents to help her. I thought this was a pretty fantastic book – the historical elements were fascinating to me, especially since it was set in DC, and the story itself was well paced and engrossing. The story is inspired by the true account of a Black teenager who shot a white police officer during race riots in 1919. The audio of this book was pretty stunning, with Small embodying each person with a distinctness that made it easy to to keep track. I thought overall this book was pretty terrific, and I even borrowed the book and read chunks of it since I liked the audio so much.
Girlfriend on Mars by Deborah Willis: I stayed up late to finish this book by Canadian author Willis. It’s about Amber, who enters a reality show to compete for a spot on a mission to Mars funded by a tech billionaire. Meanwhile, her long term, slightly stoner boyfriend Kevin stays behind in their home in Vancouver, trying to keep their hydroponic weed business afloat while watching Amber on TV and wondering how to navigate life without her. This book starts out with a breezy satirical tone, but as it progresses, it asks some deep and probing questions about relationships, wealth, fame, and the ethics of science and exploration and reality television. I thought this book was beautifully written and really engrossing, though the end was heart-breaking. ‘
The Measure by Nikki Erlick, read by Julia Whelan: I 90% picked up this book because Julia Whelan was narrating the audiobook. (The other 10% was because I saw Stephany recommend it.). The premise of the book does make one ponder – one day everyone in the world over the age of 22 receives a box with a string inside. Come to discover that the string corresponds to the length of your life. This sets off a host of repercussions as people (and society at large) grapple with whether or not to open the boxes and what to do with the information inside. The book specifically follows the lives of several different people as they learn to live with this new world of strings. I don’t think you can read the novel and not think about what you would do yourself if you knew how long you had to live. There was something about this book that made it feel like it was an expanded fable rather than a novel for me. Can’t quite put my finger on what that is – it reminded me a little of The Midnight Library where it felt like the author was trying to force the reader to ponder their own life choices. Despite that, I really liked the characters and the way the stories intertwined, and I just might have cried at one point in the book. As always, though, Julia Whelan made this a really great listening experience.
On my Proverbial Night Stand: My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante – for Cool Bloggers Book Club. I’m way behind, but very intrigued by where this book is going.
The Marquis who Musn’t – Historical romance by Courtney Milan. Love her books.
One of Us is Lying by Karen McManus – Mother Daughter Book club book, chosen by the 12 year old.
Black Ghosts by Noo Saro-Wiwa – non-fiction about the history of Black people in China.
and a couple of other things that I’m a few pages into so I’m not sure if they will stick…
I feel like for being so busy in November and December, I got more reading done than I thought I would. Thank you, audiobooks and commuting! I finished the year having read 51 books – which is fewer than last year, but I also had a lot less time off from work this year than last year. The past two months have been mostly lighter books.
Thank You for Listening written and narrated by Julia Whelan – Novel about an audiobook narrator finding her way in life. I loved this book. I had debated between reading it and listening to it on audio, and Engie had such good things to say about the audio that I went with that version and do not regret that choice. I want more books read by Julia Whelan now. And the book itself was also pretty great – I laughed out loud many times while listening. I see this book billed as a Romance, and while there is a great love story, I think there is so much more going on in this book for Sewanee, the protagonist, than just finding love. The book abounds with complex and loving relationships, the details about life as an audiobook narrator are fascinating to me, the Italian audio engineer is indelible in my mind. This book was just so satisfying.
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer – It took me two years, but I finally finished this book. I had first heard of Robin Wall Kimmerer when she was a guest on the podcast On Being. This is a pretty dense book. Not dense as in thick and tome-like, but dense in that every essay in this book required so much concentration from me. I would finish one essay and then feel like I couldn’t really digest another one. So I would say this is a book to be read slowly, one essay at a time. (Or go find her interview on On Being, if you don’t feel up for reading this book…) There are so many threads in this book, but a lot it ties back to the idea of nature and the natural world and learning from a world that gives and gives. And how humans take and take, but we don’t remember to listen to the earth or to give back to it. This book really impacted how I talk about nature to my children, though. I mean, I don’t think I used to talk about nature too much to my kids, but after reading this book, I’ve come to feel that it is important to point out the beauty and brilliance and benefits of nature to my kids so that they also foster an appreciation for the natural worlds and don’t take it for granted. Some quotes I highlighted: “Maybe we’ve all been banished to lonely corners by our obsession with private property. We’ve accepted banishment even from ourselves when we spend our beautiful, utterly singular lives on making more money, to buy more things that feed buy never satisfy. It is the Windigo way that tricks us into believing that belongings will fill our hunger when it is belonging that we crave.” Yes, do I really need more things? I wrote in my notes, after reading this passage,“Now I feel guilty about wanting that dress.” I don’t think the point is to make people feel guilty for their consumerism, but rather for them to think about what “need” really means and what “wants” really are.
“If all the word is a commodity how poor we grow. When all the world is a gift in motion, how wealthy we become.” – from the essay The Gift of Strawberries – a reminder to not take the earth for granted and to treat natural resources as a gift. There is a lot of railing against capitalism in this book. As is probably to be expected.
“Our toddlers speak of plants and animals as if they were people, extending to them self and intention and compassion – until we teach the not to. We quickly retrain them and make them forget. When we tell them that the tree is not a who, but an it, we make that maple an object. […] If an a maple is an it, we can take up the chain saw. If a maple is a her, we think twice.” What do we teach our children about the world we live in?
I Should Have Honorwritten and read by Khalida Brohi – Brohi is a Pakistani activist who advocates for women’s rights and speaks out against honor killings in Pakistan. Her message and mission is an important one and there are parts of her book that were so sad and horrifying. I think, though, I kind of wanted less of her personal story and more about the history and impetus for honor killings. Granted this is her memoir, so the book is of course mostly about her journey – and it is really an incredibly brave one – but I think I wanted more of an insight into the country and culture she was from.
All The Right Notes by Dominic Lim – This book was about Quinto a piano player and composer in New York whose music teacher father wants him to come home to put on a show to raise money for his high school music program. And his father wants Quinto to convince Emmett Aoki, a famous movie star and his child hood friend/crush, to perform. Reconnecting with Emmett sends Quinto’s world into a tailspin. I’m always intrigued by romance novels (well, really any novel) set in the theatre world and with Asian characters. Not all books get theatre life right (or right compared the my reality, which is, admittedly just one perspective), so sometimes I just find them annoying, but I like to read them anyway. I thought this book was fine. The writing is funny in parts, awkward in others. The description of Filipino food made me want to look it all up and then order some. Overall though, the book wasn’t terribly memorable for me.
The Chiffon Trenches written and read by Andre Leon Tally – Tally was a fashion journalist and Anna Wintour’s right hand man at Vogue. Reading this in conjunction with Braiding Sweetgrass was interesting, because fashion is such a material industry. This book is full of juicy inside stories of the fashion world. Tally’s descriptions of clothes were so vivid and several times I looked images up because I just had to to see for myself the ensembles of which he wrote. This book made me want to be stylish, yet also made me realize how even though fashion can be a lot of fun and a great form of self expression, at the same time it must be a huge mental load to be so put together. There is a lot of this book that feels completely not relevant to my life, but I enjoyed hearing about nonetheless. There are also a lot of sad and vulnerable moments in this memoir. Tally, who passed away in early 2023, says a lot about being a Black man in a predominantly white industry, and makes many points that I had never thought about before.
The Takedown by Lily Chu, read by Phillipa Soo – I really enjoyed Chu’s book The Stand-In, and I’m a sucker for audiobooks narrated by Hamilton cast members, so of course I picked this book up. The novel centers around Dee Kwan a (borderline toxically) positive person who works in diversity consulting. She gets assigned to work a case at a major fashion house and hijinks and drama and self awareness ensue. I thought this was a charming book. There are some awesome – yet complicated – female friendships, some thoughtful handling of issues of race, a nice guy that is a little too perfect, and a chinchilla. I thought the ending was a little too pat, but there’s your romance happily ever after for you. Chu’s books are labelled as romance, but I feel like the romance is the least interesting parts of her books, to be honest. This book was an interesting listen to follow The Chiffon Trenches.
And Elderly Lady Is Up To No Good by Helene Tursten, translated by Marlaine Delargy -Another Engie recommendation, which I picked up after I read Killers of a Certain Age and wanted more stories of women who are no longer in the first (or second or third) bloom of youth. These series of short stories of an 88 year old Swedish woman who lives alone and likes it that way, to the extent that she’s willing to do anything to keep things going the way she wants. It’s a little dark and very funny. It’s a good palate cleanser read, I think – short, smart, and unlike anything else I’ve been reading. I already have the sequel in my TBR pile.
Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change by Angela Garbes – This book is a collection of essays that looks at caregiving in America and how this essential act is greatly undervalued, probably because it is considered the domain of women. She has one really great essay that points out how our society values inventors and not maintenance workers – and what are caregivers but the maintenance workers of people’s bodies? I really liked Garbes’ previous book Like a Mother, which looked at pregnancy and childbirth today. Essential Labor, I felt, was a more personal book. I think I wanted something a little more scholarly, though, and with a little more focus. While there are so many thoughtful and interesting points in this book and a lot of personal narrative, Garbes also recaps a lot of other people’s writings and part of me just wanted to read all the articles listed in her bibliography rather than just her interpretation of them.
Business or Pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon – This novel was in the New York Times’ list of favorite romance novels of 2023, and sounded interesting. Chandler, a ghost writer, feeling slightly disillusioned about her career has a one night stand with a cute guy. The next day, she is hired to ghost write the memoir of a former teen heartthrob who turns out to be… one night stand guy. This book features one of the funniest and most honest bad sex scenes I’ve ever read – Chandler and Finn’s one night stand is incredibly disappointing for her, and you know what? It’s probably one of the most true to life things I’ve ever read in a romance novel. Sex is always amazing in romance novels, but is it always that in real life? Anyhow, I expected the rest of the book to be about how Chandler and Finn grow to like each other as they work on the book, but it turns out to be so much more (and so much more open door) than just working on the book. There are a lot of details I liked about the book – I particularly appreciated how Chandler and Finn bonded over being Jewish because you don’t often find those cultural details as such a casual key characteristic in romance novels. I thought this was a fun read all in all – not terribly memorable on a whole but some really great moments. I’m a little burnt out on first person narrative contemporary romance novels, though. Why doesn’t anyone write romance novels in the omniscient voice?
Murder in Mesopotamia by Agatha Christie – I’ve read a lot of Agatha Christie, but hadn’t read this one yet. I think I saw this on a list of really good Agatha Christie novels that people don’t generally talk about. This was a Poirot mystery set in Mesopotamia, so all the expected cringe-y colonial undertones are there. The mystery itself was quite clever. I try not to guess “whodunnit” when I read mystery novels because I think it takes the fun out of the big reveal for me. I am probably in the minority here, but I actually prefer Miss Marple to Hercule Poirot mysteries. Poirot can be a little smug for my tastes. Nonetheless a nice comfort read for the end of the year.
Well that wraps up 2023 reading. I’ll have a post with my favorite books and reading experiences from the year later on. I hope.
On my proverbial bedside table:
Wild Genius on the Moors – Still reading about the Brontës. Everyone is dead almost. Charlotte doesn’t like to leave home.
Girlfriend on Mars by Deborah Willis – Amber is competing on a reality show for a chance to go to Mars. Boyfriend Kevin is back home in Vancouver, trying to live life. So far, funny and wry.
Untangled by Lisa Damour – it has the very cringe-y subtitle of “Guiding Teenage Girls through The Seven Transitions into Adulthood.” The content is better than that subtitle.
The Monsters We Defy (audiobook) by Lisa Penelope read by Shayna Small -Part heist novel, part historical fantasy, set in the Washington DC’s Black Broadway of 1925. This is proving very entertaining.
Mad, Bad, And Dangerous to Know by Samira Ahmed – Mother Daughter Book club read. Muslim American Teenager in Paris for the Summer on a mission to solve a historical question with a very cute descendant of Alexander Dumas in tow.
