COVID time – Life Off Headset

Weekly Recap + what we ate: mind wandering and meanderings

This week felt really routine. Morning – breakfast/pack lunches/school bus run. Then Work. Then home to eat dinner (never made it home in time to make dinner). Then kids to bed and collapse in exhaustion. I had a couple late nights when I stayed up late to work on the slides for a supertitle gig. That probably explains the few nights that I collapsed in exhaustion. Sometimes I think wistfully on “college me” who could pull four or five all nighters in a row. I can’t do that anymore. I mean I like sleep, but also.. it sometimes feels like a waste of time.

The week started off with Superbowl Sunday. We had friends over and lots of food. The kids ran around with minimal interest in the game, only coming down to eat periodically. I didn’t have druthers who won – I usually like just rooting for whomever is running with the ball. There’s something about a person running really fast while being chased that makes me want them to come out on top. It was a lovely social way to start the week.

Mind wanders and life meanders from the week:

It’s been taking a lot of mental energy to get through the decisions that have been thrown my way at work this week. Fine, we’ll get through. One of the Assistant Stage Managers on the show has brought in a jigsaw puzzle for the communal table in our office and we’ve been slowly working our way through. Or actually, not too slowly because it seemed like every time I came in in the morning, a new swath of puzzle was complete. Anyhow, a couple days ago, I came in to this:

My co-workers had left the last piece for me to do. Isn’t that awesome? I left it undone, saying I wanted to save it for a really bad day so that I’d have something that could go right when I needed it.

Haircut – I think I last got my haircut last year around this time. My modus operadi is to grow out my hair until it’s time to start a new gig, then to get it cut super short. I really should get my hair cut more, but I have to admit that my stylist is very expensive and it feels like his rates go up every time I get my haircut. Which, I guess if it’s only once a year, is understandable. Anyhow, my favorite part of getting my haircut super short- it now takes about five minutes to shower. Yay. When my hair gets long I sometimes am very reluctant to shower because it takes so long to wash my hair and then it takes a long time to dry. Oh – another perk, is I think the short hair hides the grey more. Or maybe not. I might just be kidding myself on that one.

Masking – I ordered another batch of masks for the kids this week, which led me to contemplate the current state of masking where I am. I would say that I am seeing fewer and fewer masks, but I do see them continue to be worn when I am out and about- mostly older people and people with children and service providers. Currently only the two little kids still wear masks to school. Except for a few weeks ago when there were 3 COVID cases in the 6 year old’s classroom and everyone was asked to mask for 10 days, masks are not mandatory. I think it’s interesting that the two little kids still ask for their masks as they head out the door for school while the 11 year old no longer wears one unless we ask her to, for example if we go to the theatre or something. Masking at work is encouraged but not enforced for me, in addition my company still does mandatory twice a week COVID testing. I do think that is on the more cautious end of the spectrum. I still mostly mask at the grocery store, though I don’t worry if I forget. I think right now, I’ve resigned myself to the idea that we’ll just continue masking for a while, but not to be too strict about it. I also realize that my approach to masking is probably not entirely rational and likely just habit right now; COVID levels are really low where I am. Also – I feel like there is so much other stuff goin on out there right now… if it’s not COVID, the kids are going to be sick from something else.

Petty annoyance of the week – Last week, spring swim lesson sign ups opened on Monday morning for our county swim program, and by the time I logged in at noon, all the slots for the beginner classes were taken, except for maybe 6:30pm on a Tuesday night, which is a little on the late side for us. I kind of knew the slots were going to fill fast and it still annoyed me mightily to have missed out. When the oldest was little, I would set my alarm for 6am on registration day to snag a swim lesson slot. I don’t know why I lost the will to do that these past few years. Second/third kid syndrome, maybe? I know if I were serious about getting the littles into swim lessons I would just sign them up for lessons with one of the private swim schools here. But they are so much more expensive. Anyhow, I think I will just try to take the kids to the pool more often during free swim time and then come summer sign them up for private lessons at our summer swim club. Sidenote story: A few months ago, I went to our local swim store to buy the eleven year old a new swimsuit and impulsively threw in a couple kickboards for the two little kids. Now the baby wanders around with her kick board asking, “When are we going to the pool?” She even has slept with it on occasion. So yeah, I think getting to the pool at least once this winter is on the to do list.

Another petty annoyance of the week: The weather was beautiful all week and I wanted to bike to work, but after I got all my gear on and unearthed the bike from the shed, I went to put air in the tires and the valve to the tire was broken. AAAARGGH!!! I need to streamline the process for biking to work so that when it doesn’t work out I’m not so devastated to have lost thirty minutes of anticipation and preparation time. Anyhow, I’m sure it’s an easy fast fix, but I haven’t had time to do it yet… and I’m feeling very annoyed that beautiful weather is passing by while the bike sits unused. I guess it was a week for foiled plans – I also spent an entire morning putting up a baby gate for my parent’s tenants because the door to their basement broke, and basement stairs+ babies = bad combination. The baby gate absolutely needed to be done, and I was happy to do it, but having my morning routine thrown off track was annoying. Oh well… expect the unexpected.

Proud Parent moment of the week: Last week was Valentine’s Day – a day that I usually mark with last minute trips to Target to survey the bottom barrel dregs of Valentine’s day cards available, or which I try to solve with Amazon next day shopping. I think my happiest moment last month was when the baby’s child care center emailed all the parents to notify us that the center does not celebrate Valentine’s Day and Valentine’s cards would not be necessary. Hallelujah!

But that still left the two kids in elementary school with Valentines to procure. I tasked the Husband to work with the 11 year old for hers – she just wanted to give out candy. I took on the six year old. He wanted to hand out stickers. The Sunday before Valentine’s Day we went to Michael’s, and to my dismay, the Valentine’s Day items were already relegated to a tiny shelf, to make way, of course, or Easter and St. Patrick’s Day. There were no Valentine’s Day Stickers. No heart stickers. Nothing. But…. luckily, we found some French stickers – perfect because the six year old is in French immersion school. So I grabbed those and called it done. I took them home and had him write his name on the back of the right number of sticker sheets. The next night, I offered to write his classmate’s names for him. He said, “I want to write Ada because it is short. The other names are too long.”

Okay, I figured that he could write Ada’s sticker sheet and I would write the rest of them. But… once he finished Ada, he looked at the rest of the names on his list and said, “I would like to try the other names.” And he did it! He wrote all twenty-four names of his classmates on the sticker sheets. I was just so proud of him for deciding that it was worth trying to do and doing it.

Also – check out his new favorite accessory. Cracks me up.

He’s overseeing the new construction of the Death Star, while writing Valentine’s Day Cards.

Grateful For This Week:
-The ridiculously mild weather. It was in the 50s and 60s all week. A couple days of rain, but other than that such nice weather. The crocuses are blooming which fill me with both joy and trepidation.

-The friend from my mom’s group who lent me the baby gate for my parent’s tenants. So glad I have a group of people I can just text for random asks like this.
– The ice arena nearby where the six year old has been taking skating lessons on Sunday mornings. I’ve really been enjoying our Sunday morning routine these past few weeks. The price of skating lessons also includes a punch card for the skater to come to free skate to practice. So on Sundays, I’ve been taking the three year old and the six year old to the 11am free skate, and then the three year old and I will continue to skate while the six year old has lessons from 12:15 to 12:45pm. Then we have a snack and go to the park, and get home around 2:00pm for a late lunch. It’s been a nice way to spend a Sunday morning, and I get to go skating too, which is always fun. I love seeing how even in these six weeks, both kids have gotten so much better on skates. I can skate for a quarter lap of the rink without anyone clinging on to me! And I initially thought that they would get discouraged by falling, but they haven’t; they just get right back up and continue skating. I’ve already signed up both kids for the next session and I’m looking forward to it!
– A friend and colleague whom I could just text with questions about my supertitle gig. (And this is where I get into the weeds of what I do…) Most of the translated titles that I format for these song recitals are for songs based on poetry. When formatting the projected titles, I’m always torn between maintaining the line of the original poem versus matching the line of the music. For example this poem by Edith Sitwell, set to music by William Walton:
Through gilded trellises
Of the heat, spangles
Pelt down through the tangles
Of bell flowers. Each dangles
Her castanets, shutters
Fall while the heat mutters.
(You can hear the full song here if you choose – it’s a charming song.)

Clearly the rhyming scheme doesn’t follow the line of the sentence. But the composer has set the musical phrases to follow the sentences, not the lines of poetry. At the same time, there is something so wonderful about the way the rhymes work. So the question is… is there an obligation, when writing the translation slides, to preserve the original line and rhyme scheme of the poetry?
Anyhow, I texted my friend for her opinion and she reminded me: “When the translation title fights the musical line, it can be distracting.” Which is a good reminder that my job is really to help the audience understand the music, not admire the poetry.
Also this question always good to ask: “Will the poet be at the recital?” My friend should really write a book on the art of writing supertitles.

Looking Forward To:
– Going to the theatre this week! I have tickets to see Into the Woods. At first I was going to go with the Husband and the 11 year old, but then the logistics of finding a sitter of the other two kids kind of overwhelmed me. (I know… we should be using a sitter more.) So the Husband and the 11 year old are going to go one night and I’m going with my friend/college roommate a different night. I’m so excited! My friend loves Into The Woods, and it’s her birthday week, so it feels celebratory. When we were in college we went to see a concert version that reunited the original cast for the 10th year anniversary of the original Broadway production, so this will be a nice throwback.
– Planning our Spring Break Trip. I know it’s a while away, but I just had a bunch of travel books come off my holds list for our destination, so I’m starting to get excited about what we might do there.
– Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. So I had been watching This Is Us while cleaning the kitchen. But it’s the last season and I’m not ready to be done that. (Okay, last year was the last season, but I seem to watch everything at least one year late.) So I’ve switched to watching old episodes of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. I loved this show growing up, and would watch it every week – well until my parents got rid of tv, but that’s another story. I’m realizing, though, that I only started watching it halfway through Season Two, so I’ve started watching it from the beginning. Is it sentimental and unabashedly wholesome, with life lessons every week and lives frequently in peril. Without a doubt this is not the kind of edgy, ironic, brutal television that gets made these days. People might roll their eyes at this kind of family friendly fare, but I do wish that there were more shows like this to watch as a family these days.
-Lent. I’m not Catholic, but the Husband is and I look forward to Lent every year because then we get to eat more fish. I mean we could eat more fish any old time of the year, but we actually make an effort during Lent.

What We Ate: I didn’t meal plan at all this week – it was a combination of the Husband cooking and us throwing dinner together from fridge and pantry. Worked out fine, but man… I find the day stressful when I don’t have a plan for dinner. Food takes up too much real eastate in my brain.

Saturday: Pizza (the Husband made) and Newsies. It was my turn to pick the movie for Family movie night and I wanted to watch a musical. I had forgotten how good Newsies is. I love this movie so much! The music, the dancing newsboys. Square jawed Bill Pullman. Christian Bale. Christian Bale singing. (“Santa Feeeeeee! Are you there? Can you swear you won’t forget meeeee!”) My only quibble is the serious lack of female characters. I understand they tried to fix that with the musical theatre version they made. There is a caputre of the Broadway version available on Disney+ and I haven’t watched it yet because I’m torn between being really curious about it and thinking that the movie is perfect and not wanting another version.

Sunday: Super Bowl Sunday – I made Cheesesteaks, and our friends brought ribs (though I made the BBQ sauce), and baked beans, and coleslaw. I also put out cut up veggies and we had an assortment of TastyKakes.

Monday: Leftovers from Super Bowl Sunday plus some random things that we found in the fridge. Mixing the creamy pepper past with baked beans was a surprising hit with the kids.

Tuesday: Grilled Tofu with tomatoes from the Green Barbeque book. The husband made dinner. (vegan, except then we supplemented with some leftover ribs. We’re learning that the Green Barbeque book recipe’s need to be doubled in order to feel our whole family…)

Wednesday: The Pasta e Fagioli soup from last week. I had frozen the leftovers, and the Husband heated that up for the kids to eat for dinner. I should probably do freeze meals for future dinners more than I do right now. It’s such an easy dinner option. (vegan)

Thursday: Roasted Cauliflower Coconut Curry Soup. I was inspired by this recipe from the New York Times this week and had a head of cauliflower to use up. The recipe was for a squash soup, but it featured the brilliant idea of roasting the squash directly in the dutch oven. So I chopped up a head of cauliflower, two apples, four cloves of garlic, two ribs of celery, and an onion – tossed them in olive oil, salt and pepper in the Dutch Oven, then roasted them on 400 for about an hour. Everything got nice and caramelly. Then I put it on the stove top, dumped in 4 cups vegetable broth, a can of coconut milk and a tablespoon of curry powder and a teaspoon of tumeric. and brought it all to a boil and simmered for 15 minutes. At this point, I left it and told the Husband to puree it when he got home and serve it with bread. It was really tasty. Vegan.

Friday: Tortellini and red sauce. I think this is becoming our go-to meal for Friday Nights since we need something quick before basketball practice.
Anyone else have go to fast dinners for when there is just no time?

Weekly Recap + what we ate: Realizing Challenges

My middle child turned five last weekend. What the what?!?

But… that also meant that he was eligible for his first COVID vaccine shot. Hooray! We had it done at the pediatrician’s office when he got his annual check up.

This Hamilton fan is not throwing away his shot!

He wanted a “rainbow cake”. We made him a cake from my mother in law’s recipe box and spent the week prior, sorting a Costco size tub of m&ms by colour so that we could make a rainbow on his cake. They don’t make purple m&ms which I explained to my son, and he seemed fine with it.

It’s hard to believe that this sweet, funny, thoughtful little guy is five and will be going to kindergarten this fall.

This week was another four day week for the ten year old because Monday was off. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she wanted to go to the Rec Center and play ping pong so we did. I always get a kick out of playing ping pong at the rec center because the ten year old and I are not terribly good at it, and there are always a couple of senior citizens on the tables next to us who are really good and just killing it. While the ten year old and I are running all over the place to bat the ball, the seniors plant themselves in one place and their arms go back and forth unerringly accurate and very rarely missing a ball. There is a metronomic click to their playing that is so clean and soothing.

Mid week the temperatures were in the low 40s so I was determined to find another selfie stand and check off some more of the 1000 hours. I found the selfie stand on a hike by a pond near one of the nature centers. We took our picture then set off on one of the many surrounding trails.

The trail we took led us to a lake that was mostly frozen. The baby loved throwing sticks and rocks into the lake, though she was a little mystified as to why the rocks just bounced and didn’t go splash. The she got annoyed and tried to order me to go out on the ice and retrieve her rocks so she could try again. I refused. There was a bit of a tantrum, then I distracted her with a nice fallen tree to climb.

Towards the end of the week, we went for a walk at the Botanical Gardens. I hadn’t been there in a while, certainly not yet this winter. I feel so grateful that these gardens are here and I can see them through all seasons. I loved this sign below: “Bulbs planted/ Please stay on walk.” I’ve been reading Katherine May’s Wintering, and I’m coming to embrace the idea of things (and people) needing time to lay in wait and prepare for the next thing, undisturbed. I feel like we need signs for ourselves to tell people when they need to give us space for our bulbs to prepare for Spring.

Bizarre, though probably entirely natural thing this week: I had a moment driving home one day this week when I looked down the road and there was a patch of sky that was this dark fluid patch, swirling above the telephone lines. I was so intrigued that I drove down the road to see what it was. It was birds, hundreds and hundreds of little birds moving en masse, swooping into the air and then landing on the telephone wires. All lined up on that wire, the birds looked for all the world like a page out of some Philip Glass score – uniform stemless quarter notes. I’d never seen so many birds grouped together like that, swirling up then down, making such a chirping racket. Eventually, they seemed to collectively decide it was time to move on and the whole lot off them took off like a cloud of black dots and few down the road. Having seen Hitchcock’s The Birds, there is something terrifying to me about a large group of birds. At the same time, the part of me that finds large group choreography mesmerizing, was just awe-struck by these birds and the aerial dance they were performing.

I’ve been flirting with various “challenges” this month. The 64 Million Artists January Challenge has been fun. Though I haven’t been great about doing every day, or posting the results, I’ve bookmarked a lot of the challenges to do later when I have more time. Having a creative prompt every day was a great way to pause and think about things outside of my tunnel.

I also did a “Less Phone More Life” challenge, where for a week I was sent strategies to spend, as it says, less time on my phone. It is not lost on me that there is something ironic about a online based challenge to spend less time on your phone. In the end, I did indeed spend about 25% less time on my phone from the week before – I was at about 3.5 hrs a day on average, down from 5.75 hours a day. The two big tips that I found helpful was moving all the apps off my home screen and turning off, or rather batching, my notifications. I’ve definitely found ways to work around these phone time roadblocks, but when it’s four steps to open my text messages instead of one, I’m more conscious of what I’m doing.

Two other takeaways from my “Less Phone” challenge:
1) Even though my daily average was down 25% over the week, I didn’t feel like I spent any less time on my phone. I felt like I still used my phone a lot – I read books, had very long text conversations with my mom’s group, surfed the internet, participated in online commenting forums, researched things, payed bills, used the GPS… These things didn’t change. I think the difference, that 25% is the time that I used to spend mindlessly on the phone. those pockets of phone time that I can’t remember afterwards. Like when I just pull out the phone when I’m between tasks, or “check creep” from checking the weather. Speaking of “check creep”- since I batched my notifications, I wasn’t checking my phone every time a new message came in, and I discovered that the weather was indeed the new gateway app to mindless scrolling. I’m not sure I’m concerned about this enough to find alternative weather sources, though.
2) My other big takeaway was realizing that the way I communicated via text, I was likely creating a sense of urgency for other people to check their phones too; not only was I contributing to my own constant phone usage, but I was also part of the problem for other people . Not that I’m responsible for the behavior of others, but when I send a message via text, I think it just feels more urgent and demands a response.
Sometimes at work, this is just how we communicate because we can’t always step away to answer the phone or we’re involved in a very quiet situation and the person across the room can’t get up to ask a question. Texting among my stage management team becomes a form of dialogue. But texting doesn’t always have to have that sense of immediacy. I’m not sure what I can do to foster a more relaxed response instinct, but I realized that just responding to a notification is for me a gateway to phone use, in the same way activating a conversation creates a gateway for the message recipient. Not to foist my screen time aspirations on others, but I don’t really want to contribute to a culture where attention getting requires immediate action. So I’ve been thinking that on a large scale, phone use is not just the result of how we react to inputs; we also need to be aware of our outputs and how they might affect other people.

Another challenge I set for myself was to write one positive thing about each person in my family every day. I was realizing that some days I get mired in the things that my kids (and okay, the Husband) do that drive me nuts and want to scream, and I was forgetting to see them for the wonderful people they really are, particularly with my oldest. This column from Carolyn Hax last December hit particularly close to home – the letter writer asks for help dealing with the fact that they are finding it harder to show affection for their snarky teenager whereas their younger child is still a lot of fun. I feel this acutely some days – those days when the baby is delightful, but the ten year old is mouthy and obstinate. Okay, the baby is obstinate all the time too, but I don’t really expect her to know better so I find it less energy sapping. I’ve come to the realization that I’m a much better baby parent than big kid parent. Which is unfortunate because the big kids are the ones that are around much longer and need the most support.

Anyhow Hax’s advises the letter writer to really look for and appreciate the person their kid is becoming. “The surly stuff isn’t everything,” she write, “There’s an interesting person developing in there. The cute-caterpillar stage was always going to be temporary. Make it your mission right now to be the person who sees the first vague outlines of the butterfly, and delights in them.”

When I read the column, I realized that I was finding it really hard to see the forest my kids were for the trees that I wanted them to be. So I took an empty notebook and decided that every day I was going to write one positive sentence about each kid. It’s been a good exercise for me, especially seeing what positive things I find tread a line between my expectations and their character. Like “Helped get her sister dressed for the day.” vs. “Said something nice to a classmate who was feeling sad.” I’m realizing I need to uncouple my ideals from who my kids are or I’ll never be able to see the latter.

What We Ate – for whatever reason I didn’t meal plan this week, so it was a lot of meals from our pantry/fridge. Which wasn’t terrible, but I find it more mentally stressful than I would like.

Saturday: Hotdogs, bagged Caesar Salad. The five year old’s birthday dinner request.

Sunday: Leftovers and birthday cake.

Monday: Pork Tostadas from Mexico: The Cookbook, that the Husband borrowed from the library. The ten year old more or less cooked dinner with much supervision.

Tuesday: Green Bean and Tofu Stir Fry.

Wednesday: Tortellini (from frozen) with red sauce. One of our standard desperation dinners.

Thursday: Cheese soufflé, roasted potatoes and Irish soda bread. We weren’t really great about meal planning this week, and I thought this wasn’t bad for a “What’s in the pantry?” meal. I originally was just going to make a frittata, but then saw a recipe for soufflé in the Moosewood cookbook and thought, “Why not?” Soufflé has a certain mystique about it for me – I always think of that scene in the movie Sabrina where Audrey Hepburn fails at making a soufflé for her French cooking class. “A woman happily in love, she burns the soufflé,” a wise fellow student says to her, “A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven.” At any rate – it turns out it wasn’t difficult and my soufflé rose beautifully. It’s a good way to stretch six eggs to feed eight people, but I can’t say that I liked it better than a quiche or a frittata.

Friday: Pizza and Looney Tunes, Snoopy and Hello, Jack. It was the newly five year old’s turn to pick the move.

Weekly recap + what we ate: the last week of the year!

The day after Christmas we went for COVID tests, back to back appointments, with the Husband and the four year old going in first while I waited outside with the COVID positive baby and then me taking the nine year old in when they came out.

The people at the testing center looked exhausted.

“Has it been busy?” I asked, somewhat inanely making conversation with the lady who swabbed our noses.

“Oh yes.”

“Worse than Thanksgiving?”

“Much much worse.”

I remembered to thank her profusely for doing her job. How stressful it must be. Even though a lot of healthy people come to the testing center to get requisite tests for travel and family gatherings, I’m sure there are a good number that actually will test positive.

It was our first trip out of the house in three days, and once we were in the car speeding home, the temptation was great to just keep driving and not go home – that little intoxicating taste of freedom. But, being responsible people, we took ourselves home and continued to quarantine.

The husband, the nine year old and I came back with negative tests rather quickly. The four year old’s test took the full 72 hours and was… positive. wump wump. But in the end, it was kind of a moot point because his daycare center ended up closing for the week anyway due to a COVID related staffing shortage. I feel like so many people I know – people who are super careful and vaccinated and boostered – were testing positive. It has been kind of brutal.

We spent the week rediscovering the joys of our backyard. I googled “classic outdoor games” and came across SPUD, which I had never played as a child, but which the kids loved. The two little kids also discovered the joy of throwing a ball at a pyramid of tin cans and yogurt containers. And of course there were cardboard creations and improvised obstacle courses.

And indoors there was this classic – the set from the Husband’s childhood, with missing pieces supplemented via eBay:

Speaking of childhood nostalgia – we watched 9-Bit Christmas and it was delightful. Full of the hallmarks of a childhood in the late 80s, and the story was kind of great too. It supposed to be a knock off of A Christmas Story, but it’s gentler and more forgiving… perhaps a sign of the times? Anyway, will definitely put that into the Christmas movie rotation.

For New Years Day, I wanted noodles, but we didn’t have the right kind of noodles at home. This is probably laughable, since I have a bin in the cupboard with at least four different kinds of noodles from Asia. Noodles are definitely my favorite food. I love how versatile yet specific they are.

So I decided to try my hand at making udon noodles from scratch. I’ve come to realize that the combination of flour + water + salt is the basis of so many different dishes – noodles, dumpling wrappers, scallion pancakes… All the recipes for Udon noodles that I read called for kneading the dough with your feet. So I mixed up the dough and got the kids involved in the stomping and the rolling. I did have to improvise a bit since we were out off all purpose flour. I don’t know how that happened – probably isolating hot on the heels of bake-heavy holiday season. But I did have whole wheat flour and sprouted flour (a random Hungry Harvest purchase). I also had bread flour, but I didn’t remember until too late, and in retrospect that might have been the best option.

The results were tasty. Granted, toss anything in scallion ginger sauce and it will be tasty, but the noodles tasted simple and doughy. The chew was not as bouncy as ideal, but I think that might have been because of the flour. I’m on the fence as to whether to try again, but it’s good to have demystified the idea of making my own noodles.

We also put together the Swedish climbing wall that we had bought for the kids for Christmas. I thought it was going to be a huge challenge, but it was surprisingly easy and the kids love it. A good indoor energy burner, for sure. And I may once in a while be found hanging from it too…

Throw back food stuffs:
When I was little, growing up in a tiny Canadian town, much of the Taiwanese food that my parents loved wasn’t available in stores. They made their own dumplings. They even made their own tofu – a multi-day process that started with soaking soy beans and involved a rustic metal machine that made grinding noises in our basement, and square molds that sat overnight in our sink. Of course these days, we buy dumplings and tofu at the store. One other thing I remember my mother making were shrimp chips – they came out of this box as hard round translucent discs which my mother fried in oil until they were puffy and pink and crunchy. You popped the fried chip in your mouth and the chip would bite at your tongue before dissolving in a crunch of salty shrimpy goodness. These days you can readily buy ready-made shrimp chips in the snack aisle at the Asian market. Even the local Giant has them in the ethnic food section, though those ones are skinny and shaped almost like French fries.
The other day, I was at HMart looking for fun food stocking stuffers, and I came across a box of uncooked shrimp chips and I had to buy them for my own stocking. Last week, I gave them a go. I don’t love frying things; I find it messy and I never know what to do with the oil afterwards. So I thought I would see if I could fry the shrimp chips using the airfryer function of our new toaster oven. They do lack the umami of being fried in oil, but the crunch shrimp-y goodness is still there. And the novelty and nostalgia.

Other cozy things this week:
In Summer of 2019, pregnant with our third baby, I decided I wanted to learn how to knit. I had learned once, but then found crochet to be easier and more forgiving so knitting fell by the wayside. Both older kids had handmade blankets made for them when they were born, and I wanted to make one for the baby that was coming. So I dug out a book, looked at some online tutorials, and cast on my first row. It was a pretty simple project – knit stich back and forth til the creation felt long enough. I don’t know if it was time or skill or what not, but the whole thing turned out to be pretty slow going. But finally, the week before Christmas, I finished it and was able to wrap it and put it under the tree for the baby to open come Christmas day. She calls it her “Bankie” and I love seeing her cuddled under it. It certainly has flaws, and the colours don’t quite go together, but I think it will still keep her warm and loved.

What we ate:

Sunday: Cauliflower Curry Soup from ATK’s Vegan for Everyone.

Monday: Sweet Potato and Carrot Eggah and Roasted Potatoes. We don’t eat a lot of potates, but a bunch came in our Hungry Harvest box, so I had some to use up. I cooked the for “0” mins in the InstantPot and then tossed them in olive oil and salt and roasted at 400 until the outsides got golden and crispy. They were really good and I’m now looking forward to more potatoes in our box.

Tuesday: Chili. Every year at some point over the holidays the Husband makes chili. He always makes it the night before so it has time to sit and meld. I love eating my chili with pickled jalapenos, onions and sour cream. The Husband likes his with Fritos. So do the kids. I love how chili is meal where everyone wins.

Wednesday: Banh mi bowls. Made with tofu ground beef rather than pork. And eaten with noodles.

Thursday: BBQ Pinto Bean Tacos with mango salsa.

Friday: Pizza (home made pan pizza) and Empire Strikes Back.

Saturday: Dumpling and homemade udon noodles in scallion ginger sauce with stir fried napa cabbage and mushrooms.

Weekly Recap + what we ate: adventures and advances

I feel like we hit a parenting milestone this week when the Husband and I helped the nine year old with her long house model. There was a bit of arguing and tears and probably more than a little co-opting of the project by the grown ups. I’m sure the latter was cause for the former. In the end, we had a lumpy, twig, bark and hot glue structure in a base of modelling clay.

I never had to do models or dioramas when I was in school. I do remember my mother helping my brother fashion a puppet of White Fang out of toilet paper tubes held together with cooked white rice as glue since white glue wasn’t something we kept on hand. My mother was endlessly and optimistically creative. She could see the possibilities in so many mundane things, a artistic combination of clever and frugal.

The Husband suggested that we send the nine year old on the bus with her model, but I couldn’t bear the possibility of our hard work getting crushed or dropped, so I drove her to school the next day, her longhouse safely ensconced in the passenger seat next to me. I’m sure (I hope) that I will become less possessive of the school projects.

In my habit tracker, I have a category for blog/art. The “art” category was leftover from this past year when I was taking the drawing class… a reminder to spend time every week creating. The art boxes on the habit tracker have been woefully unchecked since spring. But I realized that this week and last thatI have been making art. I mean these cardboard and tape and twig and glue concoctions… That’s art, right?

The rest of the week was a combination of drizzly days and mild days. On the drizzly day, in my effort to spend time outside, I took the baby to a new to me park – it wasn’t really a park; it was an old golf course that is no longer in use, but which the city took over. The city is still trying to decide what to do with it, but in the meantime, it features a mesh of walking paths. It’s interesting to see the vestiges of the sand traps from the golf course interspersed with over grown natural vegetation.

Wednesday was chilly. We awoke to frost on the ground and ice on the windshield. I pulled out the hat and mittens and winter gear. There was a frustrating moment of stress when I couldn’t find the ice scraper as the kids were loading themselves into the car on the way to the nine year old’s 7:15am piano lesson. I texted her teacher to know we were running late, turned on the heat and fans, and tried to figure out how to clear the windows. “Use the windshield fluid!” The Husband reminded me, and luckily the icy layer was thin enough and that did the trick.

We have a (admittedly arbitrary) rule that the heat doesn’t get turned on until November, and we certainly didn’t need to this year. In the past, getting through October without turning the heat on was always a challenge, but this year I’ve been lulled by the mild, summer-like fall. Its kind of like the temporal equivalent of hedonistic adaptation.

Anyhow, I’ve located the ice scrapers and I’ll be ready next time.

Thursday the nine year old was off school so we took our Fall trip to Longwood Gardens. I had a fear of the children being cold and then complaining and immovable, so I made everyone wear long underwear, hats, and gloves in addition to their coats. Turns out it was a little bit of overkill. The weather was sunny and brisk and beautiful.

I’ve been doing these mediations with the four year old on the app Smiling Mind, and one of the practices is about noticing colour. In the meditation, the voice slowly recites the colours of the rainbow and encourages the listener to find each colour as he says them. I’ve found this also to be a great game to play with the kids. I always think of Fall as a colourful season, but one of a limited palette. But while, there certainly was a riot of oranges and yellows, the other colours proved easy to find too. Except blue. I didn’t find any blue plants, so the blue sky will have to do.

Rainbow!

On the way home, there was this beautiful evening sky, which I thought especially fun juxtaposed against the red taillights.

I had written last post about how quickly the county and pharmacy’s 5-11 COVID vaccine appointments booked up super quickly. Well on Thursday while we were at Longwood Gardens, I checked my email and our pediatrician’s office had sent an email saying they had vaccine appointments available. The Husband got on the phone immediately and was able to book the nine year old for her first shot the next day! And to be super efficient, we also booked flu shots for her and the four year old. (The baby got her flu shot at her 2 year check up.) I’m so excited and relieved that this is done. There seems to be new appointments opening up every few days so I know I ultimately didn’t have to worry about not finding her an appointment, but still it’s good to know that the first shot is in her arm. We have the second shot scheduled for after Thanksgiving so by Christmas she’ll by as fully immunized as she can be at this point. Hooray!

The whole process was quick an pretty painless. A 9am appointment. 15 minutes waiting in the reception area afterwards for side effects and then we were on our way. The nine year old said that the flu shot actually hurt more than the COVID shot. The four year old was so cute… he thought the Band-Aid was the flu shot and refused to take it off. And when he took a bath he was so worried that the Band-Aid would fall off. I had to explain the whole thing to him several times and eventually he did let me take the Band-Aid off.

Things I’m looking forward to for the nine year old:
– eating in a restaurant. Her favorite restaurant is having live music again and the Husband and I are thinking this might be the place to take her on a special daddy-mommy-daughter celebration date.
– joining a basketball league. She has been taking indoor dance and swimming, but somehow the close contact nature of basketball seems more risky, so we’ve been putting this off.
-maybe having a birthday party for her. She has a winter birthday so there aren’t a lot of outdoor options. Of course this means I’ll have to plan a birthday party, which I’m not terribly looking forward to. (But I’ve been reading Oliver Burkeman’s book 4000 Weeks, and he says that once we confront the finitude of our lives, we learn to feel fortunate for even the most painful and mundane tasks…. I’m trying to embrace that.)

So a very full week, but not much knocked off the to do list. Many tasks just got migrated to this week. I did do my emissions test (and paid the late fee) and picked out tile for a rental house repair. I guess two things on the “Done” list is okay. And we did finish watching Schmigadoon, which given our poor record for finishing anything on TV, does feel like an accomplishment. And it was a delightful show too.

Oh: a haiku from last month that I just now found randomly in my time log journal:

September apples
A two bushel haul. Transformed
to October sauce.

What We Ate: The nine year old wanted to plan the menu this week

Saturday: Pizza leftover from the previous night. And Star Wars finally.

Sunday: Halloween – not quite sure. It was probably leftovers and lots of candy.

Monday: Mac and Cheese and Cucumber Tomato Salad. The stuff in the blue box.

Tuesday: Salmon Burgers and Caesar Salad.

Wednesday: Cornflake oven fried chicken and roasted veggies (Squash, sweet potoates, leeks, and potatoes – basically kitchen sink)

Thursday: Chipotle on the way home from Longwood Gardens

Friday: Pizza (Husband made) and Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. I hadn’t seen this when it originally came out in 2005 and it’s surprisingly less dated than many other movies from the time. Afterwards, I saw that it had been directed by a man, and that struck me as interesting because it feels like this kind of female friendship movie is something that would most definitely be directed by a woman these days. And it made me wonder about how so much of the movies that I watched and loved in the 80s and 90s were directed by men, and whether of not the way I saw myself reflected in the media I consumed was influenced by the male gaze. Would my ideas of what is considered attractive been different?

Weekend recap + good news Wednesday

No big adventures this weekend – just getting ready for Halloween and helping the nine year old with her Native American shelter project, watching Star Wars, and finishing season two of Ted Lasso. I really enjoy Ted Lasso, but so far each season has ended on kind of a mixed emotional note.

Saturday I also carved the second pumpkin. The four year old wanted it to look like our dog friend Max whom we were dog sitting that day.

I was up late finishing the baby’s Han Solo Costume. I had bought a white polo shirt and blue sweat pants. I added a red stripe to the sweatpants with red duct tape and then made a vest with lots of pockets out of an old t-shirt and boot covers out of black felt.

Halloween was on Sunday, and the kids went trick or treating for the first time in quite a while. In 2019 there was the threat of bad weather so they didn’t go, and last year there was no trick or treating because of COVID. I think this was the four year old’s first real experience of trick or treating. We went out with some friends because unfortunately our neighborhood is pretty quiet. The nine year old took off with her friends and I ended up with the four year old and the baby. Which was just as well because the baby was Han Solo, except the costume was a little obscure unless she was with the Millenium Falcon. And even then I’d say only four or five people knew who she was. She was quite a trooper and walked the whole hour we were out, only wanting to be carried for the last block. She was a little hesitant at first, but once she realized that there was candy involved, she was very much game to walk up to strangers.

Our friend’s neighborhood was a great place to go. Lots of houses were decorated and people sat out in front of their houses, so it was easy to tell who was giving out candy and which houses to skip. Most people also put the candy on a table, so you could go up and say hello, but still keep a distance. You could tell that the adults handing out the candy loved Halloween and seeing the different costumes. It was just a really nice atmosphere.

I was really happy with how the Millenium Falcon turned out and it got lots of attention. Several people said that it was the best costume of the night. That made me feel really happy. Also making me happy – the baby gets really excited about the Falcon and will point at it and say, “Bacca!” as in Chewbacca.

We trick or treated til about 6:45p – the weather stayed mild and the sky light for much longer than I thought it would. Afterwards, I sat and chatted with our friends for a little bit, while the kids ate candy then we went home to the Husband who stayed home on the off chance someone came by. No one did. The Husband was smart and didn’t open the candy, so I guess we can return it. Which is a little disappointing for me because he got this really cool mix with Reese Peanut Butter Cups, Twizzlers, Kit Kats and Sour Patch Kids. I love all those things and was really excited to see a mix that combined chocolate and candy.

We took the kids to two of our neighbor’s house because we had promised to . One of them are new to the neighborhood and I knew they would be disappointed to get no trick or treaters. It was nice to chat to and lament the lack of trick or treaters in our neighborhood. I think it’s just the nature of how our street is next to a really busy street, so not many people will cross the road to our house. Also there aren’t a lot of kids on our street. I hope that evolves and changes.

so sad no one came to see these jack o’lantern masterpieces.

Two things that made me teary with joy today:

Michelle Wu elected as Mayor of Boston. Growing up, I think I internalized the idea that Asians, particularly Asian women could do great things, but in roles of quiet support and service. I didn’t grow up seeing Asian women in leadership roles, particularly in one that might be considered politically radical. Representation matters. I don’t know if Michelle Wu will be a good mayor or not, but I do know that seeing her lead a major American city will help tear apart the model minority narrative and hopefully inspire other Asian girls to not just be support, but be leaders and the face of civic change. In many ways that big picture is just as important as the immediate one.

COVID vaccines approved for children 5-11 years old. I’ve been hunting for available appointments. The County released a bunch of appointments around 5:30pm, and they were already gone by 7pm. I know that all my kids will be vaccinated eventually, but I’m feeling somewhat compelled to sit at my computer trying to secure a vaccine appointments for the nine year old.

Weekly recap + what we ate – vaccine impatience

Trees and Rocks – another of our weekday park adventures.

It feels as if everyone is impatient these days to get the vaccine, and it seems like such a fraught topic. So many of the eligibility requirements are deeply personal so even as I am curious as to how people my age are getting their shots, I feel like it would be intrusive to ask. I’m trying to remind myself that I will get my shot soon – our governor’s goal is to open eligibility for everyone over 16 by the end of April – and that I just need to practice safe habits til then. Having the prospects of getting my shot in sight has given me a little sense of momentum, but I feel like our state has been slower than many other states and that makes me restless. Restless momentum. Seems appropriate.

Whenever I try to look into it, it appears like the pathways to a vaccine appointment are varied and scattered. There are so many options and websites to check. I am amazed and grateful for the people who have the time and know how to help others find the vaccine and who are working so that those without internet or other such resources can get their appointments. This grassroots type of vaccine hunting is really inspiring. I suppose there is no easy way to vaccinate hundreds of billions of people and everyone is doing their best.

More sign of spring:
The birdsongs are incessant these days. It reminds me of the days when I was in college, staying up all night to finish that paper that had been put off too long and was due imminently. I usually got into such a deep sense of flow writing that I wouldn’t realize that I had pulled an all-nighter until I heard the first bird calls of the morning. And the whistle of the Dinky train.

There is something about hearing birds that will always be associated with mornings to me. Although I do love how birdsongs change throughout the day.

The birds have returned to nest in our eaves.

Rainy days. There was one very very rainy day. It was the nine year old’s half day and by mid afternoon, I had had it and forced everyone outside for a little walk. The little walk turned into an hour in the light rain. I hadn’t expected to be out that long, so I didn’t bring the stroller for the baby. Before I knew it, we were at the local park, much farther than I thought she would walk. She did need to be carried the last half block home. In the long run, though, her stamina and determination to go onward on her own two feet does make for the whole process of the daily walk to be a lot more impulsive now that I don’t feel the need to drag the stroller out too.

“If all of the rain drops were lemon drops and gumdrops….”

Sunny days. Seventy degree summer weather on the heels of the rainy day. We continued to explore parks while the nine year old is in school. This one was particularly interesting because the land used to belong to one of the prominent families in the County and the original houses still stood nearby, though they are still privately occupied. In addition to the playground, there were some large boulders which the kids enjoyed climbing.

The baby turned eighteen months this week. We had a little cake to celebrate. She had a check up and a shot, this latter made her cranky and tired all day. There is still some concern about her language development, so I might have to be a little more aggressive about starting services for her than I would prefer.

In drawing class, we continued working with colored pencils:

We were to draw a still life, and I chose to set up some of the kids’ toys. The classic Fisher Price phone was the first object I chose, and then I went through the playroom looking for other toys with faces that I could gather. I feel like finding the right colour match is still difficult for me, but I’m realizing that colour is relative. So even if the blue of the police car doesn’t completely match the real thing, it just needs to be the right color relation to the rooster, say.

The slice of life I want to remember:

The four year old is very good at entertaining himself. He will play with his cars and trucks endlessly on his own. He has also always loved books and spends large chunks of time just looking at books. I love watching him as he flips through books, taking in all the illustrations and repeating the words from memory. In those moments, I envy the life in his man bubble. Also – he’s been obsessively wearing that Doc McStuffins coat.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Can’t remember. I do remember it wasn’t as simple as I usually do.

Sunday: Leftover Pav bhaji, with a mango salad on the side.

Monday: Lentils with Roasted Broccoli and Goat Cheese from Dinner Illustrated. On Saturday, we were running some errands in a certain part of town so we stopped at the fancy grocery store -kind of a local Whole Foods. It had been so long since I had been to a grocery store, that I went a little crazy and stocked up on all manner of grains, beans, and legumes. Also – they seemed to have the entire Bob’s Red Mill catalogue in stock… and I might have gone a little overboard. If I could only shop one brand for the rest of my life, it might just be Bob’s Red Mill. Anyhow, one of the things I picked up were French Lentils (Puy lentils) – I had long heard about these as being a really sturdy lentil, but never had the opportunity to try them. I made a recipe from Dinner Illustrated, and I think they are now my favorite lentils – they don’t get mushy and taste somehow fresher than brown lentils. Definitely going to try to find more ways to use them.

Tuesday: Salmon and ginger green beans.

Wednesday: Asparagus “Risotto” from Milk Street’s Cook-ish. The Risotto is in quotation marks because this recipe actually uses Israeli couscous – another purchase on my exuberant grain shopping spree. Cook-ish is the latest in my obsession with Milk Street cook books. The recipes are supposedly very simple with not a whole lot of ingredients.

Thursday: Ordered Foodhini. Foodhini is a company that delivers food prepared by immigrants. They currently have chefs from Laos, Afghanistan, The Ivory Coast, and Eritrea. It was our first time ordering, so we tried something from every country. It was all really delicious.

Friday: Pizza and Toy Story (the first one). Watching the featurette on Toy Story, I am reminded about how utterly groundbreaking this film was. They showed clips of the animators working, and I think it’s the first time I fully grasped the fact that a lot of the animation was done by manipulating numbers.

Weekly recap + what we ate – Birthday cake and back to the world

The three year old is now a four year old.

Four years ago, the country was trying to find its footing under a new administration. There were protests and shock and anger. And into this, a little boy was born. It’s funny, for the past four years, his life and the Trump administration were somehow intertwined in my head – I counted his years as I counted the years until the next election. And now here we are, the administration he was born into has turned over, though its ghosts still linger; the little boy is still here and growing.

But he is his own person, of course. A imaginative, curious, happy-go-lucky little guy. He loves trains, trucks, dancing to his own music, singing at the top of his lungs, books, and going for rides in the car. He drives his sisters crazy, but then gives them big hugs too. I love watching him puzzle out the world in his quiet perceptive way.

A couple days before his birthday, a box arrived at our door step:

Inside was a cake and a tin of cookies. I mean a cake in the mail!! How decadant is that?

The gift receipt indicated that the cake was to celebrate the two older kids’ January birthdays. And the receipt was unsigned. I did some Holmes worthy thinking – the birthday message used the diminutive form of the nine year old’s name, which very few people still use – but finally wrote to Milkbar customer service and asked them. Turns out it was my cousin in LA.

I remember when my cousin was born – and what a cute round eyed baby she was. I have so many great memories of hanging out with her when she was a baby. And now it’s certainly a little strange to realize that my baby cousin is grown up and does adulting type things like send birthday cakes during a pandemic to cheer up a couple of kids. She is an awesome person. And so are her parents (my uncle and aunt) – I’ve always known that they would raise pretty decent kids and it’s turned out to be true.

In other news this week, the baby was evaluated by the County Infants and Toddlers program for some developmental delays this week – primarily speech. It turns out she is on track in most developmental areas, except expressive language and socio-emotional development. The two areas are closely related, though. All our children were quite late to talk, so I’m not terribly concerned. Still, the baby was evaluated to have the verbal skills of a four month old, which is much more delayed than the other children were. It was a little discouraging to have the results broken down like that. However, she is so bright and capable in all other areas, that we are taking a “wait and see” approach, and declined to pursue an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) with the county.

In normal times, if we refused services we would have to get back in the cue and be re-evaluated down the line if she didn’t show developments progress. But given COVID times, the County Infants and Toddler program has a new system where you can check in with a case worker once a month and they will put together an IFSP when you feel ready for it. I perhaps tend towards the “low to no” intervention end of the scale, but I’m really grateful that the county provides these services for when we are ready.

The whole family went to get COVID tests again this week. It was probably not completely necessary, but we did it anyway. I took the two younger kids and had planned to go to the drive through testing site, tossing the baby into the car sans coat and shoes. Of course it was raining. And of course the drive through site wasn’t open. Change of plans! I took us all to a different testing site and had to carry the baby in without shoes or a coat. I definitely not one of my best moments, but oh well. We went in, got our nasal swabs – without fuss or crying from any of the littles! – and went home. Two days later:

Thank goodness.

We had quarantined the appropriate amount and then some, so we were pretty sure we would be negative. But it was reassuring to have the confirmations – if “not detected” can be counted as reassuring.

It’s been a slow emergence from quarantine. After almost three weeks of having gone no further than the end of the driveway on trash day, getting in the car was a little strange. I was almost reluctant to do even that, but I did have errands to run and the two older kids had their yearly check ups.

I was texting with a friend and saying how there is something nice about quarantining in that it’s been giving me an excuse to delay some bigger life decisions, and instead some days I’m just focussing on getting the family from meal to meal.. And my friend wrote back:
“I think what you are doing/ thinking makes total sense… See this thru w/ your family first and worry about anything else later.”
It is probably not sustainable – I mean I do have to file the taxes and figure out what I’m doing with my life, and we have some decisions to make about childcare and schooling and potential summer plans. I feel the the vaccine looming, like a pin that holds the dam in place, the deluge of decisions to be made roaring behind those floodgates.

Well… speaking of meal to meal…

What we ate:

Saturday: Tortellini with Sausage and Red Sauce. Cut up carrots and cucumbers on the side. With birthday cake.

Sunday: Oven Fried Chicken – the nine year old cooked, from the America’s Test Kitchen Young Chef’s cookbook. This was really really tasty – breaded with Corn Flakes. I made some garlic green beans to eat on the side.

Monday: Grain Bowl Marinara with Cannellini beans and Spinach from Mark Bittman’s Vegan Before 6 Cookbook.

Tuesday: Cauliflower Korma with burnt raisins from Fresh India. I found some chapatis in the freezer and we had these on the side.

Wednesday: Sausage and Peppers (the Husband cooked)

Thursday: Leftover Soup day. Realizing we had amasses many containers of leftovers in the fridge, I declared that we would have “eat down the fridge” dinner.

Friday: Pizza and The Peanuts Movie. I was going to make pizza, but then we had car issues so we ended up getting take out. The movie was fine, though I kind of missed the hand drawn charm of the original Charlie Brown movies.

Weekly recap + what we ate – positivity

A week that started off with much excitement.

The eight year old turned nine!

Crazy to me to think that nine years ago, I was 33 weeks pregnant and went in for a routine OB check whereupon they determined that my fluids were low and sent me to the hospital. And three hours later, the OB sliced me open, pulled out a baby, and we were suddenly parents.

And now that 4lb 8 oz baby is a creative, expressive, energetic, empathetic nine year old.

Since we couldn’t have a birthday party, we asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to watch Star Wars movies all weekend. So that’s what we did. Interspersed with a couple chores and some time running around outside. We didn’t watch every Star Wars movie ever, but we did get through quite a few – Rogue One, Solo, Empire Strikes Back, The Phantom Menace, and The Force Awakens.

At the beginning of the week, there was a call on our landline. Usually we let those go to voicemail, but the caller ID said “MD COVID” so I was pretty sure it wasn’t spam.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hello. This is ___ from the Maryland Health Department. Is this the parent of [Baby’s Name]?”

“Yes, this is.”

“We’re calling to follow up on [baby]’s positive COVID test result….”

**** mental record scratch in my head ****

So that happened.

The lady on the phone was quite nice and very understanding of the fact that one really cannot isolate a 15 month old on their own, so the whole family would be quarantining. I am also somewhat fascinated that they give you a letter for your school or employer that outlines the dates of your quarantine and dates when you can re-test.

Things I’ve googled since talking to the health department:
“difference between quarantine and isolating”
“quarantine protocol”
“CDC COVID quarantine guidelines”
“how to sew juggling balls”
“building with cardboard techniques”

We are completely mystified since the rest of the family had negative test results. Apparently false positives are very rare, so I’m just assuming that the baby did indeed have COVID. The rest of us have been completely asymptomatic, so there is always a possibility that she did get it from one of us, and then the virus passed out of our system before we got tested. We’ll never know. It is frustratingly mysterious.

In essence, life continues somewhat the same as before, only we don’t go to the playground or on hikes, and we’ve finally had to figure out grocery delivery. Thankfully we also have some friends who went on a grocery run for us to our favorite small grocery store. I’ve had to miss winter walks with my college friend, but we’ve had lengthy phone dates.

I have never been so grateful to have a backyard.

Also very grateful for the new oven.

Other Fun Things this week:

Since life is very much focussed at home, I’ve been doing a lot of baking. After three weeks of uncertainty, my sourdough starter started to bubble and rise again. It had been three weeks of dutifully discarding and feeding with an anemic bubble or two of life to show for it. I was starting to wonder if I had killed my starter. I tried to make some bread with the inert starter around the new year, but the dough did not rise despite 24 hours in the “proof” setting of the oven (another feature of the oven which made me really excited). I had killed my starte once before, and in that case the pink scum on top of the starter left no doubt that the science experiment was done. But this time the scant bubbles I saw every morning of this starter kept hope alive. This week, though, some corner turned, and the starter came to bubbly, frothy life. I baked two batches of bread and fresh baked bread brought us much joy.

I’ve been slowly working my way through the Busy Toddler preschool curriculum. It is pretty low key – just 30- 45 minutes of activities a day. Some of the activities are pretty hit or miss in terms of keeping the 3 year old interested. This week, though, tongs and pom poms were surprisingly engaging for both the littles.

Our kitchen window faces east, and it’s getting to the time of year when the morning sky is gorgeous as I make my first cup of tea. Definitely something that falls into the “savor” list:

What We Ate:

Saturday: Pasta and meatballs with Garlic Bread. A dinner request from the (now) nine year old’s birthday weekend. I made turkey meatballs which I then threw into the InstantPot with noodles and tomato sauce. (Love this method for making pasta and meatballs because everything can be made in one pot.)

Sunday: Chipotle. Second dinner request for birthday weekend.

Monday: Tombstone Pizza and Brownies. With cut up carrots. The (now) nine year old’s birthday dinner request. She also made most of it herself.

Tuesday: Roast Salmon and Green Beans with coconut rice. This was really tasty. The salmon was just salt, pepper, olive oil roasted at 400 for 15 mins. The coconut rice was from Run Fast, Cook Fast, Eat Slow. Basically you make brown rice and when it’s done you stir in coconut oil and torn up nori pieces. The green beans were from Meera Sodha’s Fresh India cookbook and featured sauteeing the beans in sesame seeds, ginger, garlic and tomatoe paste. It was really good and easy – a high taste to ease of cooking ratio!

Wednesday: Tofu Ground “beef” with noodles and pickled cucumber, radishes and carrots. A riff on the ground pork and rice noodle dish from Dinner Illustrated.

Thursday: Leftover Chili (The last of it)

Friday: Homemade pizza and Bears, the Disney Documentary – beautiful. Also I was really fascinated by the footage during the end credits that showed how the film crews were able to get close to the animals.

Time is all there is

The garden at the Farm Park – I once asked as landscape architect what was the best backyard toy for kids and she said “Loose bits of wood.”

Most mornings, I try to take the kids outside. On a good day, we get out of the house by 9:30a. Sometimes it takes longer, and I find myself getting impatient, anxious that we are wasting time, that we will miss something.

Today we were out the door by 9:15am. And I was really pleased. But then, I thought, what is the rush? I mean, for sure, if we put off the morning walk too long, we get into the uncomfortably hot part of the day. But the difference between being out the door at 9:15am and 10:15am? Not a big deal. The goal these days is all about engaging and occupying the children. The time has to be filled somehow. If it is filled by leisurely jam smeared breakfast and shoe battles rather than fresh air and sunshine, is that worth consternation these days when time is plentiful because commitments are few?

Of course the children would love to have more time to splash in the creek. And if we get to the basketball courts too late, there will already be people using the hoop on the shady side. But there is always tomorrow to shoot hoops in the shade and send leaf boats down the river.

So maybe this is our version of the journey being as important as the destination. Yesterday I took the children to the local Farm Park, about a thirty minute drive away. We’ve been there once before, but I had always thought it too far away to go regularly. It’s kind of like, when I was in college and home was a five hour plane ride. My personal calculation was that it wasn’t worth the plane ride unless I got to spend one day with my parents for every hour on the plane. Well, the Farm Park was like that in my head – would the adventure be worth the drive?

But yesterday I realized: the adventure starts at home – with talk about going, and packing our picnic lunch, and making sure everyone has hats and sunscreen. And the adventure continues with the car ride – listening to Hansel and Gretel (because it was the only CD in the car), and then getting a little lost because Google maps does not give you enough lead time on this one particular exit. And the adventure continues at home with emptying the backpack and throwing away the string cheese wrappers.

I don’t want to be frivolous with my time, but these days, I’m finding I’m looking at time differently. There is, of course, the way too much time I spend scrolling the phone – and that is draining, and I do need to work on being more mindful of that. But there are things that I used to impatiently regard as time wasters – the dawdling children, the u-turns because of missed exits, the long walk across a sunny meadow to get to the swing in the shade – lately, in the midst of these things, I find myself pausing and breathing and thinking, “This will take the time that it takes. What is the rush?” Perhaps in a post-COVID world, I will feel differently and move again at a pressing pace. But perhaps not.