This year, Lunar New Year AND Super Bowl Sunday fell in the same weekend. I am a little abashed to say that the latter gets more attention in our household. However, I did call my father (My mother is in Taiwan with my grandfather), and the seven year old dressed all in red on Saturday (coincidentally, but my dad made a comment about it when we FaceTimed, so I’ll take it), and I made my first attempt at making baozi (pork filled steamed buns). We had dumplings at our Superbowl party, a nod to both San Francisco and Lunar new Year.
My parents also send us two boxes of oranges from their tree for Lunar New Year, including red envelopes for the kids. (Though there was a bit of a mix up and we got my niece’s red envelope, and my brother got the ones for our kids. Oops!) The oranges are amazing – really sweet and juicy. Our neighbors also gave us a box of pineapple cakes too, one of my favorite Taiwanese treats, and they brought red envelopes for the kids too. So I feel as if I haven’t totally neglected the holiday, though I can do better. Every year, I think I’m going to celebrate/participate more, but then Lunar New Year creeps ups on me. I do feel like I fail at being the good Asian daughter a lot of the time.
The weekend felt very packed. Saturday was a basketball game for the 11 year old, and then she had an audition for a children’s chorus. Apparently the audition didn’t go well – it was her first real audition experience and she said she got really “spooked” singing for the people in the room. I am feeling deeply conflicted as a parent about the whole thing – there is a part of me that is all Tiger Mom, thinking, “Well, she didn’t prepare adequately and if she had truly wanted to do this, she would have practiced more. She needs to develop a sense of discipline if she wants to do this again”, and there is a part of me that says, “Auditioning is hard! Good for her for going in there. Big Hugs.” I do want her to enjoy an activity and do things that serve her interests, and at the same time, I think there is a certain sense of discipline and determination that are a more long term takeaway from participating in activities. Or maybe I’m expecting too much? Or overthinking things? I think often of an interview I heard on Fresh Air with a lady who’s son was diagnosed with a fatal illness when he was still a baby, and she talks about wondering what is the goal of parenting when you know your child will not grow up to be an adult?
Super Bowl Sunday, there were classes and activities (agility class, Faith Formation, and skating lessons), a playdate, which I almost cancelled fearing it was too much to do, but which ultimately was quite nice because it was our only opportunity to go outside all day, and the kids got to ride their bikes to the park.
Then in the evening we had friends over to watch the Super Bowl. I thought the game was simultaneously slow and exciting. The half time show was a lot (as it should be). And there were some pretty great commercials. My favorites were the Ben Affleck/ Jennifer Lopez Dunkin’ Donuts commercial – hilarious!, and then commercial for Google Pixel’s new guided frame technology which helps people with impaired or low vision take pictures. I mean, if I was the type to cry during a commercial, that would have been the one. We sent the little kids to bed when the game went into overtime, though the rest of us stayed up to watch to the very end. Still a late night for all.
Other happenings of the week before:
I started my watercolor class! The day before the first class, I went to the art store to pick up supplies. Is there anything as exciting as the anticipation of new art supplies? Fresh paints, blank paper, and smooth brushes.
The first class was a lot of explanation of supplies. The teacher told us not to buy the very expensive supplies for an introductory class. Except for watercolour pencils. There is one inexpensive brand of watercolour pencils that she does not recommend – the colours are not saturated enough. “Did you keep the receipt?” she asked the students who came to class with that brand. I thought that was hilarious.
Our first in class assignment was to experiment with six different watercolour techniques. The homework is a repeat of the same techniques. Here’s how I did on the first try:
Things I learned from the week’s crossword puzzle – one of my favorite things that we did last year was get a Sunday newspaper. Hands down my favorite part is the crossword puzzle, that I work on through the week. I do them in pen, and I don’t look up clues. However, once I finish the crossword puzzle, or get the solutions the following week, I will google the answers that were new to me; I find it’s a fun way to learn random bits of knowledge. Things I learned from this week’s puzzle:
-Anne Meara (“Emmy nominated Anne”) – Meara was a comedian who had a comedy routine with her husband Jerry Stiller. I was particularly struck by the fact that they broke up their comedy act because they were afraid that the biting tone of their routine was hurting their marriage in the long run. I thought that was a pretty self-aware decision.
–Otoes (Native Americans based in Red Rock, Okla.) This Native American tribe was semi-nomadic, originally from the Great Lakes area but eventually settling along the Missouri River in the Iowa/Missouri/Nebraska area. They were decimated by small pox and the American government.
– Gaus sum (Gaus __, concept in algebraic number theory.) This is the method of adding consecutive numbers by adding the first and last, second and second last, and so on, and then dividing by 2. Quite neat and efficient.
–Adolph Rupp. (Kentucky coaching legend Rupp) University basketball coach with a storied career. Anytime I see the name “Adolph”, I wonder about the choice. Rupp was born in 1901, clearly before the name Adolph became practically taboo.
–Tealight (Candle originally used to warm a steeped drink.) Who knew? But makes so much sense. Tealights originally came from Japan and were used to keep tea warm, but also they helped tea brewers keep track of time since one knew how long they would burn for.
The hyacinths are poking their heads up. What the what???? It is alarming yet also how can I not love the hints of spring?
The “I’ll miss this some day” moment: One morning, I was woken up very early – not sure how early, but it was definitely before 5:30am – by the four year old standing next to my bed bawling at the top of her lungs. Let take a moment to reflect on how freaky it is to be woken out of a dead sleep by someone standing next to your bed, even a small and cute someone. And she was clearly upset.
Eventually I figured out what she was sobbing.
“You didn’t play Let it Go when I brushed my teeth!!!!!!” she cried over and over again.
Backstory: the night before, I had let the six year old pick the music for clean up time, but then I promised that four year old that she could listen to Let It Go while they brushed their teeth. Then I forgot, and we played Chompers, as we usually do, no one said a word or reminded me of my promise for Let It Go. Everyone went to bed. I moved on with life.
But I guess not everyone forgot. Or rather someone eventually remembered.
This is one difference between the Husband and me: At 5am when a small person wakes you out of a dead sleep, grief stricken that we’d forgotten to play Let It Go – I try to console her and explain that I had forgotten and that she also had a responsibility to remind me. The Husband, reaches over, picks up his phone, cues up the Frozen soundtrack, and rolls over and goes back to sleep. I’ll let you guess which tactic got the four year old to stop crying.
An hour or so later, when we were both truly awake, I said to the Husband, “Wow, she has a mind like a steel trap!”
“It’s a rusty steel trap,” he says, “Because you never know when it’s going to snap shut and bite you in the ass.”
Perspective: So back in September, I wrote a post entitled “A Litany of Complaints”, of many of the things stressing me that time, and I thought it would be interesting to revisit those stressors:
–The cavity ridden state of the two little kids’ teeth. This has been more or less resolved to the tune of many many crowns. We’ve given up gummy candy and are more diligent about brushing. I just got a notification that they are due for their semi-annual cleaning, which I’m sort of dreading but also curious as to whether or not we are truly cavity free.
–Unflattering passport photos, and an expired passport in general. My new passport just arrived. Yay. I was genuinely worried that my grandfather would suddenly pass away and I would not be able to go back to Taiwan because I had no passport. So that’s all squared away. Morbid, I know. (I had one cousin who missed out on a huge family reunion in Taiwan because she had put her passport in storage and couldn’t get to it. The family still constantly brings it up. So I’m glad I won’t be known as the grandchild who couldn’t go to Agong’s funeral because she didn’t have a passport.) I still hate the picture. I tell myself I don’t have to look at it, but even still, I know that it’s a terrible picture. Can’t take that away from me. AND it’s going to be there for the next ten years. That’s pretty much until the youngest kid is in high school and the oldest is graduated from college. So I guess I’ll get a new photo in time for a celebratory international trip with the oldest child.
–Not planning the three year old’s birthday party until the last minute. It was fine. She had a party, which I wrote about here. Only now I have neglected to plan the seven year old’s birthday party – his birthday was three weeks ago. There’s always something. Same stress different kid.
–Keeping track of the 11 year old’s activities. I have them all pretty straight now, but it’s been a bit of a shuffle this month with her playing rec league basketball and the Husband and I both working on one of the nights she usually goes to basketball clinic. On another front, luckily we share carpooling to the pool with the neighbors so usually someone will remember if there is not swim clinic that week. Also – the twelve year old is in the school play, which rehearses directly after school so she has been totally responsible for that. I just have to remember not to panic on the evening when it gets to be 4:45pm and I suddenly realize I haven’t seen her yet.
–Window treatments for the living room. Aside from some abstract contemplation, there has been absolutely no movement on this. I’d like to just throw my hands in the air and give up on it, but this is the current state of things:
–My 20 year old car. The car is still with us. We did however, get a new minivan back in October. By “we” I mean the Husband. I have yet to drive the minivan. Part of what we talked about in getting a minivan is that I would get rid of my car. But I’m irrationally attached to my car and have been putting things off. I had promised the Husband that I would take care of getting rid of the car in January. Then February. And now, the windshield wipers need replacing and we need to renew it’s parking permit and it probably needs an oil change. And I think – should I really do all that if I’m going to imminently get rid of it? Anyhow, change is hard, I’m having some kind of block against moving forward with getting rid of the car. The thing is – we could put more money into it and it would be okay, so it feels wasteful to get rid of the car. I’m investigating donating it to the high school’s automotive training program. This is still a huge stressor for me.
–Morning routines. Still feels like the mornings are interminable yet rushed. I came to a huge revelation about my morning routines last week. Part of the reason my morning routines are non-existent is because the kids are so erratic in the mornings. One kids is up at 6:30am, another sleeps til 7:00am, the other… something in between. Sometimes they want breakfast right off, sometimes they roam the house. Sometimes they will get dressed first, sometimes not til they’ve been up for an hour and a half. If they were more consistent about their mornings, I could feel like there is a routine – for everyone. Like maybe we would get piano practicing done, maybe we would put away some laundry, maybe I could get some journaling in… Maybe I’m asking too much. But it does seem like with almost 2.5 hours of awake time in the morning, I should be able to do more then, breakfast, pack lunch, get dressed. Work in progress.
Which is all to say – I feel like some of the things that were stressing me out in September are still stressing me out, some have been resolved, and some I’ve learned to make peace with. They’ve moved from stressing me out to just being irksome. I think this is a big component of adulting for me – managing stressors. Stressing about things until I manage them. I don’t know why I do it like this – it always feels better when things are resolved.
Grateful For:
– Superbowl Sunday with Friends. It’s nice to have people over who I don’t have to worry about impressing, who will bring tasty food, and who have kids that will entertain our kids.
–For the middle school teachers who keep the 12 year old (and all the students) safe: The 12 year old’s school had a lock down at school on Friday. Apparently there were some teenagers with BB guns who fi (or maybe there was more than one- it’s unclear), ran into the field next to school. The police came. Looking at the letter sent home the whole incident took about 20 minutes, but I’m sure it felt like longer to her in her classroom. All the nearby schools went into lockdown. It’s hard to conceive of what the real danger was to everyone at the school, but regardless, it must have been an incredibly stressful afternoon. Some part of my mind thinks, “Of course, everything turned out okay,” but I know I can’t take that for granted. Such is life in America. Sadly.
-Biking. It’s gotten warm enough (and dry enough) to bike places. I biked to work one day, though I did walk the bike up the big hill, and I biked to meet the Husband for lunch.
–Our neighbor for lending us a bamboo steamer: As I mentioned above, I wanted to try my hand at making bao for Lunar New Year. However, I didn’t have a bamboo steamer. I could steam in a regular metal steamer, but there is something about the bamboo smell that completes the bao flavor for me. So I texted our neighbor, and they had one which they dropped off that very afternoon. I think the buns turned out okay – they popped open a little when I steamed them, so I do need work on my folding technique. I also want to experiment with some vegetarian filling options.
Looking Forward To:
-A potential big trip. We’ve been doing some research for our winter break trip. One day over lunch, the Husband and I were to both come with three ideas to start discussing. I find planning for travel overwhelming, but just starting to research a destination (or three) is actually pretty fun.
-Long weekend adventures. Definitely a hike, and maybe a museum. (This all happened. It was a great weekend! More on that soon. )
-Reading more of Courtney Milan’s latest book, The Marquis Who Musn’t. Historical romance featuring an English village populated by Asian people? Yes please! I love Milan’s books – there are no idiotic people and her writing and plotting is generally very good. She’s also hugely outspoken on issues of race and inclusivity in the romance genre.
What We Ate:
Monday: Takeout from Chicken on the Run. The 7 year old had his first sewing class and I was going to make sandwiches for dinner when we got home, but sewing class is a block down from a really good Peruvian chicken place, so I called an audible and brought home chicken, and yucca fries and plantains and black beans and rice, and cucumber salad. No regrets.
Tuesday: Zucchini Boats. The Husband cooked. He stuffed the boats with ground turkey and covered it with cheese and diced tomatoes. Always a favorite.
Wednesday: Bacon and Egg pie. Recipe from Saveur Magazine. I used to subscribe to Saveur magazine and I loved it – the food writing was so evocative and homey, even when it was about far flung locations. I very rarely cooked out of it because the recipes often needed ingredients that I didn’t have on hand since a lot of the recipes came from other countries or cultures. Anyhow, I have a gentle aspiration to cook more from the cooking magazines that I own and I had bookmarked this recipe to try – it’s from New Zealand and quite easy – puff pastry, filled with chopped up bacon and eggs, drizzled with a sauce of Worchester sauce and ketchup, then baked. I think I overbaked it a little, though. The result, however, would be perfect for a portable lunch or breakfast.
Thursday: Pizza Takeout. It was the Husband’s birthday and he didn’t want to celebrate, but then changed his mind so he came home with pizza from his favorite place and a cake from his favorite bakery. We kept it lowkey, but the kids did make a sign:
Friday: Pizza (The Husband made) and Galavant. Friday night tradition. I don’t know what we’re going to do when we finish season two.
Saturday: Bahn mi (take out) and A Bug’s Life (the 7 year old’s turn to pick the movie). The movie was new to me, very cute.
Sunday: Superbowl Sunday. Lots of food! Our friends are both big griller/smokers. One brought brisket and one brought ribs. The Husband made guacamole. We ordered soft pretzels from the DC Pretzel Company. There was also dumplings, baozi, crudite, brownies, lemon cake, chips, fruit. I like having a good party spread and this one was pretty good.
