movie night – Life Off Headset

Weekly recap + what we ate: July so far – Fourth of July, re-entry, camp, swim, work

I started to write this post almost two weeks ago, but then there was some glitch with my website and error messages, and I felt a little bit of despair. I despaired for a whole day, wondering if this wasn’t a sign from the universe that my little corner of the internet had run its course and that I should just let it go. Then the Husband told me to stop wallowing and just contact tech support. Which I did and the issue was fixed in less than thirty minutes. (Bluehost’s issue, not mine.) But the whole thing did make me think about if I wanted to still show up here and word vomit into the universe. Between being in South Africa and the site being down, I had a bit of time to think about all that. And you know what? I really think I do want to keep showing up. At least for a little while.

Anyhow, here’s the old news – some of this was drafted weeks ago, before life got busy and my site went down – : The 13 year old and I have been back from South Africa for a while and back into summer camps and swim team.(Note: This weekend was the last week of summer swim team season, but I didn’t want to go back and rewrite this whole post… so you get the old news.) We got back late the evening of July 3rd. The Husband picked us up; the two little kids were at at Taiwanese cultural camp with my mother. It was their first overnight away camp type experience and I was afraid they would not adjust well, but all reports were that they had a great time and there was NO CRYING! Wow. Considering that the 5 year old bawled all the way to the airport when dropping the 13 year and I off for South Africa, I had my concerns, but apparently Taiwan camp beats mom and big sister.

July 4th was pretty chill since it was just the 13 year old, the Husband, and I. We went to see F1 – it was a quintessential summer popcorn movie. The whole movie, set in the world of Formula 1 racing actually felt very much like a cowboy movie – the lonely man with the checkered past comes in to save the day, then rides off into the sunset. It was very entertaining. An air conditioned movie theatre, popcorn and cherry Coke for lunch – that just screams summer to me. Afterwards we went to buy bike helmets – our bike helmet were five or six years old and needed replacing. That evening we had pizza and movie night. Finding pizza take-out on July 4th was a bit of an ordeal as all our usual places were closed. We ended up ordering Little Caesar’s. We watched Theatre Camp (funny, but I admit I fell asleep for the last little bit – jet lag) and the Capitol Fourth fireworks on TV and went to bed.

Saturday, we went to pick up the two little kids and my mom from Taiwan camp, with a stop at Longwood Gardens along the way. The weather was hot and sunny, and the gardens were a riot of colour. I played our rainbow game, and it didn’t take long to find all the colours. I even found blue. It’s kind of a purple-y blue, but the flower is called “Blue Bedder” so I’m counting it:

That evening, we went to the Taiwan Camp’s Taiwan Night Performances. All the kids groups did either a dance number or a skit. Even the parents, grandparents, and staff each had their own dance number. Some of those Taiwanese grandmothers have amazing dance moves. The two littles barely said hi to us, they were having so much fun with their groups. We actually skipped out of Taiwan Night early to go to our hotel for the night.

The next morning, we had a bit of time before we had to pick everyone up, so we had a leisurely hotel breakfast (why are the waffles at the free hotel breakfast so tasty???), went to a garden store, then we went to a tea/coffee shop and the 13 year old and I got boba and played Othello. Have you ever played Othello? My brother and I used to play it together all the time – it’s so simple yet so absorbing. I might have to put it on the Christmas list for the kids (and me).

We picked up the kids from the University campus where Taiwan camp was being held, and had dinner with them at the cafeteria. It has been an age since I was in a college cafeteria/dining hall, and the experience filled me with nostalgia and wonder. I remember those days of endless cereal and soft serve. Of getting your food on trays and then looking for a place to sit. This dining hall was so much bigger than the one I had in college and it kind of blew me away – there were two salad bars, three hot bars (one which was vegan, which definitely wasn’t a thing when I wen to college), a grill, a pizza bar, cereal bar, a ramen bar, dessert bar with soft serve. The choices were mind-boggling. It really made me think of the economics of serving massive amounts of people.

After lunch, we picked up everyone’s suitcases from their dorm room – another nostalgia trip – remember communal living? Common rooms and late night hang outs? Roommates. The barebones furniture and bare walls. The dorms they stayed in had bathrooms in each double, which was also another upgrade from when I was in college with the bathrooms down the hall, shared among eight or ten people.

On the way home we stopped at the Pringel Family Creamery for ice cream and our annual end of school questions and answer session. The actual last days of school were so scattered and what with prepping for our trip, we never got around to our annual tradition. So we decided that this would be a good time to get everyone on record as to how school went. I had cone that was half dark chocolate ice cream and half strawberry, and it was delicious.

We arrived home tired and sticky, but the little kids very much wanted to go to raft night at the pool, so we unpacked and then I found the inflatable ring, blew it up with my own lungs and we went to the pool. So all in all, a very full Fourth of July weekend. Lots of summer things going on.

The rest of the week was spent driving the kids to camp and the pool. South Africa is 6 hours earlier than D.C., so I had a little bit of jet lag – mostly waking up at 5:30am, which I actually kind of liked. I don’t know if that will continue, but it really makes me think of how waking up an hour before the kids really changes how my mornings shake out. (note: the naturally waking at 5:30am is no longer a thing. Now I’m dragging myself out of bed at 6:00am.)

Other life updates-

We had our last swim meet this past weekend. I love swim team season, but I’m so glad to be done for a while. Fun thing, though, at the pool this past weekend, the 5 year old and the 8 year old started to figure out how to dive. The 13 year old helped them and gave them pointers, and I just loved watching her encourage her younger siblings. The possibility of all three kids being on swim team next year is not as wild as I had thought. As for me, I can’t dive myself, so I’m thinking maybe this summer I’ll get the 13 year old to teach me too.

Since the 5 year old is no longer in daycare, I had a few weeks with just her at home while the other kids were at camp. It’s always fun to have some one on one time with a kid. We went to the park, rode the carousel, she came with me to work a few times, she showed up in some Zoom calls, and we did a lot of watercolour painting. It was such a soothing activity. And so pretty too!

The big curveball that was thrown me this summer was that three days before I left for South Africa, I got an email asking if I was available to step in last minute for an Assistant Stage Manager on a show. The inquiry was from the opera company that I usually work for during the summer – I hadn’t booked work with them this year because the South Africa trip conflicted with the shows they wanted to offer me. This third show, though, would be after we came back. The job offer certainly threw me for a loop.

In a mad flurry, I talked to the Husband. In addition to the childcare issue, there is a time issue. The job features a long commute and lots of evening rehearsals. My working the summer would also make the evenings harder for him. Luckily rehearsals don’t start until after swim season is over, because swim practice and meets are a major immovable summer time block. I started looking for camps or sitters or whatever else childcare options and seeing if we could cover things since I had NO camps lined up for the two little kids for those weeks. Well, the plan had been for the kids to be at Camp Mom.

I thought about if I really wanted this job. Truth, the show itself is not on my bucket list – I’ve done this opera four times already and it’s actually one of my least favorite operas to work on. Also, I had been looking forward to a nice leisurely summer at home with the two little kids – pool time and nature time and MarioKart and books and eating ice cream and peaches and learning to swim and ride bikes. Though I was sad not to be working, I was leaning into SUMMER with my kids. Ultimately, though, financially it’s hard to turn down five weeks of work. I think there will still be pockets of time to do summer and life things, though I don’t think we’ll get to go camping this summer and that makes me a little sad. I do feel a little guilt that the kids won’t get as summery a summer as I had planned, but that’s okay. We’ll still do what we can. People work all summer all the time and still find ways to lean into it. Heck, once you grow up and summer break isn’t a thing, is summer as summer-y?

So we figured out summer childcare – it’s not ideal, but it will do. This kids will have lots of time lazing about with no plans. I told the opera company that I could take the job and we are now just starting the first week of rehearsal. Like I said, it’s not my favorite opera, but the director is a delight to work with, and the rest of the stage managers are great – old friends or about to become old friends. The rehearsal schedule is mostly afternoons and evenings, so I think I’ll still have time to take the kids to the pool in the morning before I got to work. And, let’s be honest, I really do enjoy being in the rehearsal room – watching people create stories and characters and music.

-Leaving you with a bit of poetry that perfectly captured something I never could express, as poetry does. From “The Happiest Day” by Linda Pastan:

I didn’t even guess that I was happy.
The small irritations that are like salt
on melon were what I dwelt on,
though in truth they simply
made the fruit taste sweeter.

Read the full poem here.

Grateful For:
-The family being together again. Between South Africa and Taiwan Camp, the family hasn’t been together for 14 days. I think this is the longest that our family unit has been apart. It makes me wonder if the kids will ever go to sleepaway camp and leave the Husband and I at home kid-free for any amount of time during the summer. The 13 year old has no interest – it would probably have to be a special theatre or basketball camp for her to go at this point.

-That the summer storm stopped in time for swim practice. I was home alone with the kids one night – the Husband had gone to a baseball game – and it looked like swim was going to be cancelled because of thunder, but the weather cleared up in time for the last half of swim practice to happen.

-Peaches. I missed out on the Peach Truck this year, but I still managed to find a farmstands with sweet sweet peaches on the way home from camp drop off one day.

-Watermelon. Cold and juicy.

-Swim Team and the people who run our swim team. It is so so so much work to run the swim team. Last week’s swim meet was over four hours long (we often host a neighboring pool since their pool is not big enough to host meets, so it makes our meets really long since it’s three teams competing, not just two.) And yes, there were times when it just felt interminable. But at one point, in the third hour, I took a moment to be grateful for everything around me – the parent volunteers; the kids trying their best and being supportive of their team mates and of their competitors; our amazing Team Rep; the enthusiastic coaches; the night sky so clear; the beauty of the pool after the sun has gone down, lit only by pool lights. And I was really grateful that we had this opportunity to be be part of this community and to be in this moment.

-GPS. OMG – the traffic on the way to camp and work has been soul sucking. When I first started taking the kids to camp/commuting to this job, it was 2021. A lot of people were working from home and the commute was a breeze. It is no longer a breeze. The first day of camp, was a breeze – we were there in 20 minutes. The second day, I made the mistake of not using Google Maps (my preferred traffic/map app) to get to camp – I often don’t use Google Maps if I know where I’m going. wump wump. There was a huge slowdown on the beltway and we were 15 minutes late to camp. Another day, a tractor trailer overturned on the Beltway at 4am, and at 8:30am it was still not clear – that day we were half an hour late to camp. (side note, the tractor trailer was carrying mushrooms, which spilled all over the beltway. This little bit of info tickles me – I wonder if there are going to be new mushroom species alongside the Beltway now?). Every day it’s always something. I haven’t been able to take the same way to camp two days in a row all week. I now know to check the map an hour before we leave for camp. BUT… I am grateful for GPS/GoogleMaps and that it gets me where I need to go, even if it means driving through some unknown neighborhoods.

-That my blog/website is up and working again.

Looking Forward To:
– Sitting in our new furniture! The chairs that we impulsively bought over Memorial Day Weekend arrived. I’m especially looking forward to reading in the grey chair – the tag literally said “Cuddle Chair”. To be honest, we didn’t quite know where we would put it when we bought it. The floral chair had always been destined for the sunroom. The grey chair was a last minute purchase – it was on clearance and it were just so cozy in the store that we knew it would be perfect for curling up and reading, either alone or with the kids. It’s gone in the living room and I kind of love it there.

-Starting rehearsals. Looking forward to working with familiar colleagues, and meeting new people.

-The end of Summer Swim Season. I love swim season – see above – but it does take up a huge chunk of time and energy in the summer. I’m looking forward to when it is over and we can go back to going to the pool at our own pace and spending some evenings at home watching New Girl. (Okay, given that I just took a job that has me gone most evenings, we might not be having as many New Girl nights as I originally planned.)

-Reading this book:

It’s set in the area of Los Angeles County that I grew up in, and a lot of it feels so familiar. Plus the writing and the story are so good. Trans violin prodigy running away from home! Deals with the devil! Potters! Alien refugees disguised as Vietnamese donut shop owners! You wouldn’t think all the narrative threads work together, but they do.

-Listening to this book on my commute:

This one doens’t feels as effortless as other Lily Chu books I’ve read/listened to, but I’m still enjoying it. Plus Phillipa Soo and John Cho narrate, were definitely a draw.

If anyone has other engaging things for me to listen to on my commute, I’d love suggestions! (Yesterday it took TWO HOURS for me to get from home, drop the 5 year old at camp, and arrive at work. I was an hour late for rehearsal. On the other hand, I got through a fifth of this book.)

What We Ate so far in July (our last weeks of pool dinner!)
Sunday: Wraps and smoothies at the pool.

Monday: Dumplings and endemame at the pool

Tuesday: Quinoa Taco Salad and Misir Wot (Ethiopian red lentils). This was meant to be eaten at the pool, but this was the night it rained, so we at at home. Vegan.

Wednesday: Green frittata and Pillsbury crescent rolls. We had some chard to eat up, but chard is a hard sell for the kids if they can identify it. So we threw it into the blender with the eggs and had green egg frittata. And the kids ate it!

Thursday: Sausage Rolls at the pool. Okay, this was kind of a fail, even though I liked it. Inspired by our time in England, I made sausage rolls – I thought it would make a perfect pool dinner with being portable and filling. Only, I added broccoli to try to get some vegetables in. Everyone said the broccoli was overpowering. Oh well, more for me. Maybe next time I just have the broccoli on the side. (The method is pretty easy – steam broccoli, combine it with raw sausage, fennel seeds, thyme, cheese. Lay out pastry dough (store bought), put sausage/broccoli/cheese filling in a line down the middle. Fold over dough to make sausage roll. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.)

Friday: Pizza and Glee

Saturday: Take out from our favorite Burmese restaurant. We ordered a lot of food and ate it as leftovers for days. Also watched You’ve Got Mail. I’ve never seen this movie before, can you believe? It was one of my goals this year to watch this movie. What a delightful and charming movie – why don’t they make rom coms like this anymore? Smart, bright, hopeful, and romantic. Like truly romantic. Not just “Let’s shag.” I mean Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan don’t even kiss until the very end of the movie! It managed to be formulaic and surprising all at the same time. And I’ve even seen the musical that it is sort of based on, so I knew what was going to happen.

Sunday: Leftover Burmese food.

Monday: Fried rice (made from the rice that came with the Burmese food) and dumplings. Eaten at home, swim practice was cancelled because of weather.

Tuesday: Vegan Pesto Pasta Salad and smoothies at the pool, for swim meet. (I actually went out for Happy Hour with friends and had a BLT.)

Wednesday: Fried Chicken (from Fryer’s Roadside) and steamed green beans. The kids have been itching for fried chicken, but I don’t love frying chicken at home – the grease is messy. So we had carry out and I supplemented with green beans from home.

Thursday: Sesame noodles at the pool. I should make sesame noodles more – the kids love it, and it’s easy to make ahead of time. I made the dressing in the morning and then just boiled noodles and added the cucumbers and shredded chicken once I was home from camp pick up.

Friday: Swim Team Spaghetti potluck. We brought watermelon. Tis the season.

Saturday: Pizza (carry out) and Pirates of the Caribbean 2. This movie was veeeeery long and featured a lot of creatures with very lumpy skin and dirt-caked skin, and greasy hair. I was entertained, but I can’t say that I enjoyed it much.

Sunday: Gnocchi with either pesto or red sauce. Steamed green beans to go with.

Hope you are having a lovely week of both salt and sweetness!
How is your July going? What do you remember about your college dining hall? What about your college dorm? What’s do you think is the most romantic movie you’ve seen? Do you use GPS all the time, even when you know where you are going?

Weekly recap + what we ate: putting on hard pants

Work clothes. Nary a sweat pant in sight.

The five year old is in a phase where he only wants to wear “soft pants”, meaning sweatpants or fleece pants. Jean, khakis, cords… these are all considered “hard pants” and not as desirable to wear.

This week, we’ve started rehearsal and I’ve put on hard pants again. I can’t remember the last time I wore my jeans. They feel stiff and constricting, pulling me in and making me stand up straighter. But maybe this is what they always felt like and I just can’t remember.

I suppose I’ve also put my metaphorical hard pants on as well, re-learning how to do my job and interact with people. I’ve definitely stumbled a few times and dropped things that used to be second nature to me. (I forgot to introduce the music staff to the singers at the music rehearsals. It’s a nice formality and no one died, but I’ve written a note to myself to remember for next time.) Part of me is so excited to be in rehearsal again, listening to singers and music and doing my part to bring things to stage. And another part of me keeps wondering if I’m getting things right. I mean it’s not the cliched brain surgery, and no one’s life is in my hands, but there are certainly a lot of moving parts and people to manage.

So how did I do on my “maintaining humanity” goals this first week of rehearsal?

Sleep – pretty good. I think I went to bed t 12:30am one night but all other nights I was in bed by midnight. Which is huge for me. Of course, there was the one night that the Husband fell asleep in the five year old’s bed during bedtime books (the man is definitely working above and beyond in the “unpaid labor” department these days). So the five year old decided to sleep in our bed. And some time around 1am, the Husband came to bed and then around 3am the baby also found her way to our bed. So… not a great night for sleep even though I was in bed for a good number of hours.
Outside Time and Exercise: I did manage to go on a 20-30 minute walk on each of my lunch breaks. And I did wake up early enough to do a 20 minute yoga podcast, though one time it was interrupted by the kids so it was more like 15 minutes.
Plan/Journal/Read – not exactly daily habit, but managed to do this three times this week. I almost forgot about the five year old’s appointment for his second COVID shot – we were about to walk to school when I remembered. Oops.
Meal Plan/ Healthy snacks – Well, it was Valentines Day week, so there was an explosion of chocolate in the office, which I didn’t even try to resist. One colleague brought in these dark chocolate Reese Peanut Cup thins, which were really really good. But I also managed to bring in healthy snacks – fruit, veggies, and string cheese. As for meal planning, the Husband and I split dinners and it turned out pretty well balanced eating week. The InstantPot was definitely the week’s dinner MVP.
Water – did better on this than last week!
Communication – Not great this week. I had to work later than I had anticipated most nights, so I missed dinner more than I had planned and wasn’t great about keeping the Husband updated as to when I would be home. It’s definitely a work in progress. Will continue to try to be better about this.

Some good moments:

The five year old did indeed get his second COVID vaccine shot! Hooray! I also managed to get a parking ticket while at the pediatrician’s office because the appointment went long and I am the Luddite who still actually uses coins in meters as opposed to pays with the app. So funny story, though, is that there were two tickets on my car when I returned, and as I went to read them, a wind came and blew the one ticket away – just snatched it and carried it off, leaving me holding the yellow envelope. I had visions of never being able to pay the ticket and the fee just building and building… I called the Husband in a panic and he said, “Just call the number on the envelope!” Which of course was the solution. Turns out my tags were expired. Like by a year. January 2021. Cue more panic and bemoaning the difficulties of adulting.

Okay, turns out I hadn’t forgotten to renew the registration. I had just forgotten to put the sticker on my plate. I got home later and dug through the mail bin and found the registration and sticker. This sticker has been sitting in the mail bin for. a. year. Yeah… major adulting fail. Expensive adulting fail. But hey, at least the COVID shot was free.

-One of the great joys about going on a walk on my lunch break is that I work in a really fun a quirky neighborhood. Some highlights this week:

A random swing on an urban tree next to a parking lot. One day I sat on the swing and ate my lunch. The sky was so blue and it was thirty degrees outside. There was something really soothing about lunch on a swing on a winter’s afternoon.

This cheerful, colourful house – bright yellow against the blue sky.

One windy windy day as I walked by a music store, I heard music. I looked up and there were windchimes buffeted in the gales, making music. I stopped to listen and savour, even as the same chilling wind that made music with the windchimes bit into my skin.

– One night (actually the aforementioned night of EVERYONE in our bed), I realized that the book I was reading (Colson Whitehead’s Harlem Shuffle – a very very good read), was due the next day, and since it was a Libby ebook, I couldn’t renew it. To add to that, it’s a pretty popular book right now so it took forever to get it off the wait list. The app said I had two hours left to read and twelve hours left in the borrowing period. So after I came home from work, put the kids to bed, and ate some dinner, I put on my pjs and climbed into bed with the book, determined to finish it. It felt so indulgent to just sit in bed an read. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. Sure, I often read before I go to bed, but that’s often only 15 minutes or so. This was almost two hours. I tried not to feel guilty about the dishes not done or the laundry not folded. Maybe I’ll get to the point when I’ll be able to sit in bed and read the evening away and not feel guilty. Well, that might be what vacation is for.

In the end, I didn’t finish the book that night, but I woke up the next morning and finished reading it just in the nick of time for the book to disappear back into the Libby ether. The kids maybe had to fend for themselves for breakfast. But that’s what cereal is for.

-I’ve been taking part in the Wordle craze – it’s been a great brain break. I can tell when I’ve had a long day when I don’t remember if I’ve done the day’s puzzle or not, and it turns out I have. This week’s puzzle had a couple that definitely challenged me:

Both these involved random guessing and maybe some Googling. I don’t necessarily think of that as cheating. Actually, as I inch closer to that sixth try, I tell myself, “Well, at least, if I break my streak, I’ll have learned a new word.” So this week, I learned two new words!

For the record, an agora is an open space used for gatherings and markets. Pupal is the adjective version of pupa.

-The baby had managed to lose her mittens again. The other day, we were getting ready to go outside and she said, “Mittens!”
Then she ran downstairs and came back with two mismatched socks that she had clearly pulled from the mismatched sock bin and stuck her hands in them. How adorably innovative!

-Valentines Day! I don’t usually go all out for the kids’ Valentines day at school, but it’s been such a weird 23 months that I felt like I wanted to do something special. So for the ten year old, we ordered some fun animal post its for her to hand out. For the five year old, I ordered pop bracelets and made little valentines that said “You Make My Heat Pop!” I sat with him and we thought up of a nice thing to say for each of his classmates and wrote it on the card. I was really touched and impressed that he could think of something specific for each of his classmates. Though for one kid, he said, “I like E—- because he is not funny.” Which apparently caused some consternation on the part of E’s mother.

-Book props. In our show there is a book that we use as a prop. I love book props; they are usually supposed to look plain and period and you never know where they come from or what might be in them. It generally doesn’t matter what’s in them as long as they are the right size and look appropriately of the time. I like flipping through them; often they’re something dry yet flowery from many years past. The prop book in our show is from 1913, written by a man named James Whitcomb Riley who was a poet and writer and also responsible for creating Orphan Annie and the inspiration for Raggedy Anne. apparently he was quite popular in the late 1800s and early 1900s. What I found particularly interesting about this book was that most of the pages of this book are still unopened. I was originally going to say “uncut” but then I went down an internet rabbit hole and discovered that “unopened” is the correct phrase for this book with its pages still joined together at the edges. It’s There is something a little sad to me about a book that’s over 100 years old, and still unread. I did enjoy, however, getting to indulge in some poetry reading during a slow moment in rehearsal.

What We Ate:
Saturday: I wasn’t home in time, but the Husband made dumplings and green beans and saved some for me to eat when I got home.

Sunday: Super Bowl Sunday! In honour of the teams, the Husband made Cincinnati Chili and Orange Julius. Friends brought veggies and other snacks.

Monday: The Husband made Stuffed Pepper Soup. It was supposed to be a casserole, but didn’t quite turn out that way. Really tasty nonethless.

Tuesday: Green beans and tofu stir fry eaten with rice.

Wednesday: Pasta and meatballs in InstantPot. Made ahead in the morning so that there would be dinner ready when everyone got home. I really love making spaghetti and meatballs in the IP. It’s a little soggier than making everything separate, but so much easier to cook and clean up; everything just goes into the pot – sauce, noodles, meatballs on top – cook high pressure for 8 minutes. All done. I was pretty happy with the meatballs too – I didn’t have enough meat, so I threw about a cup of mushrooms in the food processor and then added that to the meat – it turned out really well!

Thursday: Black Bean Soup in InstantPot. Another make-ahead meal since I wasn’t going to be home in time for dinner. It turned out a little thick so the Husband put it in wraps and the family at it as burritos.

Friday: Pizza and Aladdin. The Husband made pizza. I made it home in time to eat leftovers, though I missed the actual movie.

Weekly recap + what we ate

Well, the weekend started off with the news that the AP had called PA, and in turn the election for Biden. Despite my being glued to the radio for the past week, it almost happened without my realizing it. I was getting the children ready to go out the door, “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” on in the background. And in the space of time it took to leave the house, get three kids buckled into car seats, and turn the car radio on… it was a new America. You could almost hear a massive sigh of relief. Around here, anyway. I’m sure there are other areas of the country where the news was met with less enthusiasm. I find little comfort in the close election results. The two party system which our political system is built upon makes working together quite difficult. The binary often leaves no room for moderation.

I am excited about Kamala Harris, though. It seems silly to be excited about something as superficial as race and gender, but representation does matter.

Sunday the weather was beautiful and we had a family outing to the beach. Who would’ve thought we’d be going to the beach in mid November? As the priest who gave the homily in church that morning said, “Go outside today. The weather is beautiful. If you don’t believe in global warming, I don’t know what you believe in.”

We went to Flag Ponds Nature Park, as I had read it was a good beach to go hunting for shark teeth and fossils. We arrived at 3pm, pretty late given that the beach closed at 4pm, but we still managed to get in an invigorating hour of digging and splashing. There were all sorts of shells, fragments, and fossils to be found. The eight year old might have found a shark’s tooth, but we’re not sure. I had told the kids not to wear their swim suits because no one would be swimming, but I kind of regret that because they went into the water anyway. Note to self for next time: when going to a beach, always wear your bathing suit.

Every since the early days of our courtship the Husband and I have had this thing were we take pictures of our feet at certain landmarks. We hadn’t yet taken one of our family of five – I guess since we hadn’t really been anywhere since the baby started standing. So we took the time to take one at the beach.

The early fall sunset made for some beautiful light over the cliffs and sand banks. I loved the varied topography of this area – you could really see all the different geographical elements at play. This year I’m discovering all sorts of places to be outdoors in Maryland, and I think it’s one of those silver linings.

Monday was yet another day with no school. I somehow had missed that on my calendar, or I might have maybe planned a getaway to a cabin in the woods. As it was, I furiously searched for potential cabins with availability to no avail. Then I realized, that our admission to Shenandoah from last week was good for seven days, so I bundled the kids into the car, packed a lunch in the toddler hiking pack, and back we went. This time we hiked the Miller’s Outlook Trail. Even the baby walked a little bit! She set off determinedly down the trial for about a quarter mile, before agreeing to ride in the pack. The hike was definitely longer than I had thought it would be, and we almost turned around before getting to the outlook.

“Let’s sit and have lunch here,” I said to the kids as their energy and spirits were flagging. We sat in a pile of leaves next to some boulders and ate our sandwiches. While we were eating, group of hikers came by. We exchanged hellos. Then the eight year old piped up:

“Is the end far?”

“Not at all!” one of them replied. “Only about ten minutes.”

“Well, I suppose if it is that close, we should keep going,” the eight year old said.

And so we did. And were rewarded with sunshine pouring over a magnificent view.

After I got back and looked at the map, I discovered that I had started us at the wrong point, and that there was indeed a shorter path to the outlook.

Wednesday was the start of several days of rain. It was also Veteran’s Day. In Canada, we call it Remembrance Day, which I kind of prefer the more active name. The Husband had the day off. He had really wanted to sit in a coffee shop and read, but… COVID. So I made chocolate walnut scones in the morning for him. The recipe is from a book we picked up when we were in England years ago. It’s called Irish Pantry, and I feel like most of its recipes are perfect for cold, hunkering weather. Because our oven is still broken, I used our toaster oven and only made half a batch, freezing the rest for later. Later being that evening. Scones are easy enough, though, that I think I should make and freeze them more often so that we can have effortlessly have a fresh scone whenever we want. One of those “future me” thanks “present me” kind of things.

This week’s drawing technique was hatch and cross hatch – using lines to create shading and value. Knowing that I wanted to draw something furry, and as we have no pets, I composed a still life featuring my grandmother’s coat. I also drew some inspiration from the cover of Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand, and added the hat and shoes. I had done a rough version of this in pen, but the final version I did in pencil. I think I ultimately prefer the version in pen; the pencil version seems a little soft to me. While I think I’m still struggling with the actual line drawing of things, I’m finding that I really love creating value – patches of light and dark. I’m fascinated by how often you can make things darker, but it is more difficult to make things lighter. So you have to be careful about how dark you let things get. Lessons for life, perhaps?

Some things this week:

There is a tree at our first house, that is brilliantly red for about one week every fall. When we lived there, we always took a picture in front of it. This past weekend, the Husband was over at the house prepping it for our next tenants and he texted me: “If you want to come over with the kids the tree is ready.”

A country divided:

Quotes of the week:

The three year old: “I am not available to go for a walk.”

What We Ate:

Saturday: Meatball sandwiches. Frozen meatballs cooked in the InstantPot with tomatoe sauce. Mozzarella. Hoagie roll. Really tasty. There might have also been a salad involved. Can’t remember.

Sunday: Breakfast Tostadas. Tostadas were an exciting new discovery this week. Versatile like tacos, but with the satisfying crunch of nachos. We topped ours with sunny side up egg, black beans, and avocado.

Monday: Tostadas again. Like I said, exciting discovery. This time fish and purple cabbage slaw. The Husband cooked.

Tuesday: Stir fry – tofu, greens, bok choy, shitake mushrooms – with noodles.

Wednesday: Chicken Divan from Cook’s Illustrated Skillet Dinner book. Tasty, a little heavy.

Thursday: Sausage Kale Soup.

Friday: Pizza, salad, and Hello Dolly! Last year I took the eight year old (along with my mom, my brother and my niece) to see Hello, Dolly! onstage starring Betty Buckley. It was an old fashioned, big hearted song and dance musical. A little outdated in style and subject, perhaps, but it delivered an evening of unbridled joy. Joy, I think, is underrated these days. The eight year old loved it, and last week I borrowed the Barbara Streisand movie from the library for her movie night. The sheer enthusiasm for life in the dance numbers doesn’t get old – I love the casual precision of good dancing. We have been singing “Put on your Sunday clothes” ever since. The three year old requests to listen to it before bed. If there is a number that expresses unbridled optimism, it’s that one.

Weekly Recap + what we ate

The ups and downs of kite flying. A metaphor for the week?

It’s been a week. I feel a little cynical whenever people call say, “This is an historic election.” or “This is an important election.” or something similarly dramatic. Because isn’t every election historic? And important? But there was definitely a confluence of things that made this election season feel not the same old same old.

Saturday was Halloween. We started the day by going on a hike with my friend Kristen. I bribed the kids with hot chocolate, which I put in a vintage Thermopot that the Husband’s parents had had in their basement, and we drank after the hike.

Given the COVID situations, we did not go out trick or treating that evening, but I felt like the day still needed some commemoration. So we strung up the candy corn lights and put out the jack o lantern. The eight year old had this game changing idea to put battery operated string lights inside the Jack o lantern. Brilliant! I didn’t have to try to light the tea candles or worry about things catching on fire. And the lights were purple, which gave a really cool glow.

Despite having made costumes for the kids, they did not put them on. Instead, we tried out our fire pit (smoky, not as warm as I thought it would be.) We put a bowl of candy out on the porch, but I think the only person who took a piece was the mail carrier, who was strangely delivering mail at 7:30pm. Mail slow down indeed.

The weather was beautiful all week. Monday was warm yet windy. We took advantage of the 8 year old’s 90 minute lunch break to fly a kite at the nearby park. This is that park that was under construction these past few months and when we went to check out the diggers on Monday morning, it was complete! The orange fencing was taken down and it was ready for play. The lunch break trip to the park might become a more regular part of our routine.

The double swing in action! I think you are actually supposed to stand on the swing on the right.

The eight year old had Tuesday and Wednesday off school. Election Day is typically a day off for them, and Wednesday was an added planning day for the teachers. I had joked that I should have taken them to a cabin in the woods and gone into a media blackout until things shook out. Instead, I took them hiking in the Shenandoahs.

If I thought too much about it, taking three young children hiking my myself was probably ambitious.

“Just don’t let anyone fall off a cliff,” The Husband said.

I packed sandwiches (peanut butter and jam and peanut butter and bananas) and lots of snacks and water. A couple diapers, a change of clothes for the two younger kids. And oh, yes, a thermos of hot chocolate. Which seems to be the bribe of the moment. I found the eight year old’s camera that morning, quickly charged the battery, and gave it to her to capture what she wanted.

It took about two hours to get to the Shenandoahs. We stopped at a picnic area for lunch and then headed to Stony Man Trail. With the baby in the hiking carrier, and the three year old carrying the backpack of snacks, we headed up the mountain.

It was a relatively moderate hike, and the view at the top was spectacular, though a little scary. I definitely had visions of the Husband saying to me, “I told you not to let anyone fall of a cliff.” At the top, we had our hot chocolate, still steaming as we poured it from the thermos. It was a very good bribe.

I was really fascinated during our hike of all the scrappy and resourceful ways things manage to grow. These trees, for example – they thrive in, what to my eyes, is an unusual way. But perhaps it isn’t that unusual, when things are left to their own devices.

Upon our return Tuesday night we stayed up to watch the election returns. I remember doing the same thing four years ago, and going to bed feeling so defeated after Pennsylvania was called for Trump. We let the kids stay up until about 10:00p. There is a fine line between watching election results as civic education and watching election results as entertainment. With the flashy maps and graphics and fast talking commentators, the kids were certainly riveted.

As much of a nail biter as the election was four years ago, it was even more so this year. There was a certain nerve-wracking tedium to the slow trickle of election returns. At a certain point in the evening we started watching the Law and Order marathon on WE. I went to bed around 1am, with several states still counting.

The counting went on all week. It definitely dominated the news cycle. To think that the answer to “Who will be the President?” was out there in these millions of slips of paper that people were counting. I feel kind of inspired to look into being a poll worker for the next election.

This week in art class, we work on stipple technique. When she was explaining the technique to us, the instructor said that it was a somewhat time-consuming technique and to make sure to plan our time well to finish the assignment. It was indeed time-consuming, and truth to tell, somewhat tedious. But at the same time you couldn’t let your mind wander or you would over stipple and, since this was a project in pen, mistakes were irrevocable. You can see evidence of that in the toe of the boot on the left.

The assignment was to draw a pair of shoes. I loved seeing the variety of shoes that people drew. I ended up quite liking this assignment. It was mentally challenging and visually interesting. I definitely wanted to try it again.

Baby milestones this week: She started waving. So adorable. She also started wearing shoes this week. They are the same shoes her brother wore when he started walking!

Other pretty things: This week in the preschool curriculum that I’m loosely doing with the three year old, we are learning about mixing colours. One of the activities combines mixing colours with practicing pouring skills. The three year old loved this activity and it kept him busy for at least half an hour. LUckily the weather was gorgeous enough to do this activity outside. And I thought it was rather pretty too!

What We Ate:
The Husband offered to cook this week! I still did Sunday, but he did all the rest.

Saturday: Sausage sandwiches

Sunday: Salmon burgers from Dinner Illustrated. I think we ate these with cut up veggies.

Monday: I can’t for the life of me remember….

Tuesday: Breakfast Sandwiches.

Wednesday: Carnitas and Nachos.

Thursday: Butternut squash soup, salad and chicken sausages.

Friday: Pizza and Oliver and Company. Cute movie. Innocuous and short. It was the three year old’s turn to choose. Usually he chooses to watch The Stinky and Dirty show unless we intervene suggestively. Which we did this time. I’ve been borrowing movies from the library and it’s been working pretty well.

Weekly Recap + what we ate

I spent the weekend swapping the baby’s 6 month clothes out for 12 month clothes. The nine month clothes still fit. She grows so fast! Most of the 12 month clothes we had were “boy” clothes, left over from the 3 year old. Much as I say it’s ok for her to wear boy clothes, I do love seeing her wear something pretty once in a while. Luckily another mom from my mom’s group was passing along two big bags of 12 month clothes. So I passed along a good chunk of our 12 month boy clothes to yet another mom in my mom’s group. (All this handing down of baby clothes reminds me of the section in Adam Minter’s book where he talks about how very little baby clothes actually make it to third world countries, where a lot of our donated clothing ends up. Baby clothes tend to get very little wear, so they are passed along among friends or resold here in America.)

Fall has settled in. I booked some family photos, and used this handy peak foliage map to decide on a date that would have good fall colour. Now I’m obsessed with trying to decide what we will all wear.

We’ve been playing Uno on Sunday nights. The three year old manages to play a proper card once in a while. It’s adorable because he likes to yell “Uno!” every time he drops a card in the pile, even though he has a hoard of cards still sitting in front of him. Last week, the husband also made hot chocolate to go with our Uno game. It was what you see in the dictionary under “cozy.”

My parents sent us a care package this week. Yay for getting mail! In the box was a 100 pack of face masks – the high quality kind from Taiwan. Apparently the masks from Taiwan are really difficult to procure. There might have been an email chain last week from my cousin, on behalf of my aunt who had access to a shipment from Taiwan. It would involve a pick up location in a parking lot.

Also in the package were three dragon fruits from my parent’s tree. The baby and the three year old love dragon fruit. The eight year old will eat it if I freeze it. I love the vivid pink colour of the skin. It sort of belies the mellow, almost bland flavour of the flesh inside.

On Thursday, I took the baby down to the Reach for my weekly happy hour with my friend Kristen. Despite working literally across the plaza, I had not been to the Reach. It was a little surreal to be at the Kennedy Center and see it all closed up and quiet.

The Husband moved the drafting table into the sunroom, and I’ve been very much enjoying the soft light and sense of place of having a drawing nook. This week’s homework was about drawing negative space – the areas that make up the emptiness around an object. The idea that an object is not defined just by its own shape, but also about the shapes it creates in space. For me, it was the kind of assignment where once I recognized the concept and started thinking about it, I started looking for negative space in the world around me.

Cute things the three year old says:
“You never know where your dragon is.”
“But it’s so bouncy!” Said in response to our admoniation that he shouldn’t be rough with the baby’s head.
“Is that squishy food?” Asking about everything and if the answer is “Yes”, he will try to feed it to the baby.

It’s crazy to think, but eighteen months ago, the three year old was still nursing to sleep and didn’t really speak. He was actually about to start working with a speech therapist to address the speech delay. And now, I read him chapters from my books to put him to bed (last month it was Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee), and he is using words like “organize”. I’m on my college’s alumni listserv for parents, and one thing the wise parent there always say is “This too shall pass.” It is often used as a mantra for challenging times, but I think it is also a beautiful reminder to capture and savour all the fleeting moments of growing children.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Butter chicken – leftover sauce from our last time making butter chicken. Also, thanks to the Instant Pot I was able to cook the chicken from frozen. I don’t know that the InstantPot makes food taste better than otherwise, but it sure is convenient.

Sunday: Pita, Tzatziki, and Cucumbers. Our neighbor gave use a containter of Tzatizki from the famer’s market. She had lived in Turkey once and said this was pretty authentic stuff. Either way, it was pretty tasty. I made flatbread to go with it – this recipe, with half whole wheat flour. And I used the tortilla press!

Monday: Macaroni and Cheese from Dinner Illustrated. Easy one pot recipe that has chard (we used kale) mixed in. Really creamy and tasty.

Tuesday: Husband called an audible and we got Greek take out.

Wednesday: Braised Cod with Peppers. Sounds fancy, but actually really easy and tasty.

Thursday: Another audible because it was dance night and the meal I had planned was not condusive to making ahead. oops. We got wings from a new place.

Friday: Pizza while watching Fireman Sam and Stinky and Dirty. It was the three year old’s turn to pick the movie (clearly). We watched the original Fireman Sam, a British stop motion animation version that premiered in 1987. There was something very soothing about the muted tone of it – both in the visuals and the energy.

Weekly Recap + what we ate

Last weekend the eight year old had first Communion, and so we all dressed up and went to church for the first time in half a year. There was a limit on how many guests each family could bring – which we maxed out just by bringing the other kids. Each family had their own pew and every other row was empty. Everyone was masked. The eight year old was asked to do the first reading, and she did great!

I’m not the Catholic one in the family, but I’ve always found going to church soothing. The getting dressed up, the communal singing (which is now not allowed), and the contemplation. Our church is on the liberal side of things, and I find the homilies are often meditations on how to be more mindful about your actions and reactions. Though these days the two little kids don’t really sit still, so maybe not so soothing and experience in real life.

Afterwards the eight year old got to chose lunch, and she chose Indian take out. We ordered chaat papari, though I was a little nervous that it was going to be soggy, but surprisingly they bundled the yogurt and tamarind sauce separately. Even more bonus, there was more than enough, so now we have extra tamarind sauce in the fridge. Yum!

Monday was a day off from school, so the Husband took the day as well and we went to Longwood Gardens. In pre COVID times we would often go as a weekend trip; we’d book a hotel with a pool, and maybe also go to the Please Touch Museum. This time we took it as a day trip – leaving around 8:30a and getting home just after 6pm.

It was definitely a good trip. We enjoyed fall colour. I like seeing what vegetables they are growing in their gardens. And consequently annoying the Husband when I ask, “Why can’t we grow those?” We saw a frog in the lily pad garden. The chrysanthemums were prepped for planting. The chrysanthemum show is always breathtaking there. I’m not sure if we will get back this year for it, though. And trees. We spent lots of time among the trees.

One thing I’ve resolved to do this year was to take more pictures with the Husband. One of my mentors from my early stage management days sends these wonderful holiday cards and there are always great pictures of her and husband together, huge smiles on their faces. It makes me so happy and inspired to see them. Last year, I realized that I don’t have many pictures with the Husband, the way Mary does. I’m always so busy taking pictures of the kids, with the kids, or of random lovely things in my life. Or of the area I parked in. But no pictures of me and the Husband who is in a lot of ways the most important relationship. So this year, I’ve been handing the phone to the eight year old more often and asking her to take pictures of her parents. She’s taken some good ones and I love that I have them now. The three year old, on the other hand, is decidedly not quite up for the task:

Anyhow, it was good to get out of the house and be outdoors. Longwood is always beautiful, regardless of the season.

Some random thoughts from this week:

I am a terrible decision maker. I contemplate and ruminate and pro and con and go back and forth. This week, I came across something in Carolyn Hax’s column (second letter here) that really was eye-opening for me. The advice Hax writes is so clear eyed and wise and I really love reading her column and her live chats. She wrote, to a letter writing contemplating two career options: “When careful research shows neither option is clearly superior, that could be the definition of a tough decision — or the opposite. If neither is clearly right, then neither’s clearly wrong.” I have terrible FOBO when it comes to decision making; there is something freeing in this realization that if there is no perfect decision, then there is really no wrong decision either. I’ve been reframing some things lately – rather than saying, “There is no perfect solution here.” I’ve been saying, “There is no wrong solution here.” And it helps me move on a little sooner. I still obsess. But maybe with a little less anxiety and a little more grace.

Election season is ramping up. Last week was certainly one for the history books. We watched the presidential debates, which one commentator called “The worst debates ever”. It was really disheartening. And then the President tested positive for COVID. What a crazy week for the news cycle.

Every Wednesday, after piano lessons, we get breakfast sandwiches from Mr. Jay. The eight year old is in charge of calling in the order. Well two weeks ago when I went to pick up sandwiches, I had mentioned that it was the baby’s first birthday. This week, when I went to pick up the sandwiches, he gave us a present for her. It was so touching.

Loving this single little curl at the nape of the baby’s neck. I want to bottle it and keep it forever!

This week’s drawing class homework was to draw and area of the house over several days, layering one day upon the other. I chose our living room sofa. Each class begins with us all sharing our work, and I loved how this assignment seemed to really encapsulate pandemic living. One of my fellow students did a lovely piece of the front door with the coming and going of Amazon packages.

The assignment was inspired by a project that Joan Linder did where she drew her kitchen sink over a number of weeks. Exploring Linder’s work, I came across this series she did of baby gear, and I found it quite inspiring, the art and lines that she found in these things that are so utilitarian.

What We Ate:

Saturday: I’m not sure we had dinner. I think we were full from the Indian food at lunch. Maybe we had sandwiches?

Sunday: Cilantro Chicken with Tortillas and cabbage slaw. The recipe for the chicken came from our church cookbook, and it was basically cilantro, onions, spices, garlic whizzed together in a blender and poured over chicken. The original called for the chicken to be baked with the sauce, but given that our oven was broken, I stuck it all in the Instant Pot and it was tasty. This was also our first attempt to make corn tortillas with the tortilla press that I had ordered and it was easy and fun and really delicious.

Monday: Wendy’s on the way home from Longwood Gardens. Haven’t had this in a long time, and I have to say, one of the foods I miss most during quarantine is french fries.

Tuesday: Spinach Orzo with Pork Chops. The Husband cooked.

Wednesday: Sweet Potatoe Chicken Curry from Dinner Illustrated. We have an overabundance of sweet potatoes.

Thursday: Ratatouille. To use up some peppers and zucchini.

Friday: Pizza and Bride and Prejudice. Fun take on Jane Austen’s classic.