outdoor adventures – Life Off Headset

Weekly recap + what we ate: camping and end of summer adventures

The kids have started school! Even the 4 year old starts a new pre-school class, so lots of new beginnings for everyone. Last week was pretty packed. As a last final adventure, I took the two little kids camping for two nights in Shenandoah National Park. The 12 year old declined to come, so she stayed at home. She did, however, have an adventure on her own in that she took public transportation on her own for the first time. She had walked to meet the Husband for lunch and then took the bus home. The ride was probably less than two miles, but it feels like a big milestone.

I had originally planned for a low key week at home this last week before school, but then I was feeling a little wistful that I hadn’t gone camping yet this year. So I looked at the campground and saw that there were still lots of camp sites available. After going back an forth- is it too much to go camping on such short notice? Shouldn’t we just lay low the week before school starts? Can I get everything ready in 24 hours?- I decided to go for it and booked two nights at Big Meadows Campground. I went on a big grocery run, pulled all the camping gear out of the crawl space, packed clothes and toothbrushes, made a road trip play list for the littles (by their request – Disney tunes, Hamilton, and Six), and then we were off.

It was a short camping trip, but it felt unhurried in that way that time expands when one is able to fully disconnect from life and from technology. I think for 36 hours, I was phone free, save for taking pictures and twenty minutes on the free wifi at the Lodge where we had stopped to use the bathroom. We left at 11:30am on Tuesday and were pulling into our camp site at 2:30pm, after having stopped briefly for a picnic lunch. In the past when we camped at Big Meadows, I’ve opted for a walk in site – by walk in, I mean a few hundred feet from the parking lot. I like that they are more secluded and surrounded by trees. However, since this trip was going to be so short, and also since it was just me and the two little kids, I chose a camp site nearer to the bathrooms with parking at the site. My reasoning was two fold – 1) I didn’t want to spend time hauling my gear from the car to the camp site and back since we were only spending two nights, and 2) I wanted to be close to the bathrooms so I wouldn’t have to walk too far if one of the kids needed to go.

Our campsite. I originally wanted to leave the rainfly off the tent, but then at the last minute I was worried it might rain, so I put it back on.

The first evening, we (really, I) set up the campsite. Then I made a fire in the fire pit and cooked dinner while the kids played. They swung in the hammock, and played with their trucks (I brought two toy trucks with us), poked the fire, watched leaves burn, and pretty much amused themselves while I got dinner going. After dinner we had some more time around the campfire and then I made a batch of hot chocolate. Once we were done the hot chocolate and the fire had died, we brushed teeth and went to bed. I slept okay the first night. The first night was was pretty miserable, to be honest, and I couldn’t figure out why. Somehow I couldn’t curl up for warmth or stretch out fully for comfort so I just tossed and turned all night. When I woke up at 6:30am, I finally realized why the sleeping bag I was in was so uncomfortable – I was sleeping in the 7 year old’s sleeping bag and he ended up with mine. After an early morning trip to the bathroom, I switched our sleeping bags back and managed to snag another hour and half of much more comfortable sleep.

The next day was our only full day in Shenandoah. I didn’t want to spend time driving, so I decided on a hike that we could walk to from the campsite, Lewis Falls Trail. Part of the trail to Lewis Falls is along the Appalachian Trail, which I find kind of neat. The Falls themselves were a little disappointing because there wasn’t really a good view of them, and you couldn’t go to the base of the falls, but we still had a nice hike and there were plenty of rocky scrambles and breathtaking views to enjoy. Perhaps not the most interesting hike in Shenandoah, but it’s close to the campsite, and not having to get back in the car at all that day was a huge plus.

We ended up hiking all day – we left at 10:30am and didn’t get home until 4:30pm, hiking about 7 miles total. The hike went surprisingly well with a 4 (almost 5) year old and a 7 year old. Even though it wasn’t the most difficult or unique hike, it was definitely a good ramble in the woods. I even got to play the rainbow game – it’s amazing how, even though the trail looks to be the same greens and browns, we could still find all the colours of the rainbow if we just looked:

Things that I think made this all day hike a success:
1) The weather was beautiful. It wasn’t too hot. In fact, when we started it was a little on the chilly side. Nothing makes my kids crankier than having to trudge somewhere in blazing hot weather.
2) Snacks. I packed lots of snacks, plus lunch. Granola bars, trail mix (mixed nuts, dried cherries, pretzels and m&ms), carrots, apples. Lunch was salami, Triscuits, cucumbers. When the kids started flagging, we would just sit and have a snack.
3) Going at the kids’ pace. I largely let them dictate how fast we went. If they wanted to stop and scramble on a rocky outcrop, I let them. If they wanted to gather armfuls of sticks, I let them. If they just wanted to sit on a log for a bit, cool.
4) While we’re on the subject – sticks. OMG the amount of stick collecting that happened! Small sticks in their backpack to take back to put in the camp fire that night. Large sticks that became walking sticks. Sticks that were swords and pistols. One humungous stick that was so large they carried it together for a good mile.
5) Walkie talkies and binoculars. Sometimes my kids find hiking boring – it doesn’t always last too long, but periodically they will get punchy with each other on a hike. Walkie talkies provided an excellent amusement for them on the hike – they insisted that one person walk in front of me and one person walk behind me so that they could talk to each other on the walkie talkies. The binoculars also got a lot of use, though, I should really get a second pair – there was a fair bit of fighting over sharing the one pair.

After that hike, we came back to the campground. I got to spend 30 minutes reading in the hammock, which was divine. Eventually, I got up and made a fire and started dinner. Half way through boiling the water for the mac and cheese, though, I ran out of butane. I usually travel with two butane canisters, but for whatever reason I only had one with me on this trip – it was whatever cannister was in the bottom of the camping bin and I foolishly thought it had enough butane in it to get me through 36 hours. It didn’t. And there I was with a pot of half cooked pasta. There was a deflated sense of panic. But then I put the pot of water over the campfire grill and, doing things the old fashioned way, I managed to cook the pasta and make the mac n cheese. I was actually surprised that the water boiled over the fire. After dinner we had smores then went to bed. I slept much better than the night before, though I did rotate my sleeping bag around mid way through the night because I think I was sleeping on an incline with my head lower than my feet, and I can’t sleep comfortably that way.

S’mores – I like my chocolate gooey too, so I put my S’more on the grill for an extra moment.

The next morning, before breakfast we took an impromptu stroll. I wanted to explore the campgrounds and scout out which campsites I might want to book next time. Well, before I knew it, we had wandered onto the Appalachian Trail, the part of the trail that goes around the campground. We weren’t prepared for another hike – I was wearing Crocs! – but we figured why not. We ended up hiking for about 45 minutes, the kid found some rocky scrambles and nice views.

Eventually we found a path from the trail back to the campsite where we had cold breakfast, and I mourned the inability to have a cup of hot tea since I had no more butane. Then I started packing everything up so we could leave. The kids amused themselves by playing in the hammock. In a stroke of brilliance, I rigged up a rope so that they could swing themselves in the hammock by pulling on the rope. I need to remember that for next time because they are always asking me to swing them in the hammock, which I find eventually gets tedious.

It took me about an hour to pack up the campsite, and bundle everything into the car. We headed home, stopping for lunch as a diner in Warrenton, where I had the liver and onions. After I ordered, a lady sat down next to us at the counter and started talking about how much she hated liver and onions, which I thought was funny. We ended up talking as she waited for her to go order, and she explained to me that when she was pregnant with her now grown daughter, she worked in an office above the cafeteria, and when they made liver and onions, the smell wafted up into her office and made her feel sick. Fair enough. Liver an onions is one of those dishes I like to order at diners because it’s something I never would cook myself at home.

Anyhow, there was a lot of traffic around the DC area when I got home, so it took much longer to get home than I thought it would. I ended up having to call into a work meeting from the car – I had originally expected to be home well before the meeting, but I ended up getting home twenty minutes after the meeting started. Thank goodness for Teams and the flexibility it allows me. All in all, a successful camping trip! I can’t wait to go again.

Notes to myself for the next camp trip:
– must get some camp mugs so that the kids can drink the hot chocolate. I ended up giving them my travel mug, but then it meant I couldn’t have tea.
– If I’m going to go on six hour hikes, I need to invest in a trowel. Both kids at some point told me they had to go #2. Peeing in the woods is one thing, but I didn’t really feel comfortable letting them #2 in the woods unless I could properly bury it. So next time, I’ll bring a trowel.
-pack dishwashing gloves. I did a serious number aggravating the eczema on my hands with all the dishwashing I did over the 36 hours. My hands were so cracked that I could barely make a fist. So note for next time – pack dishwashing gloves.
-the kids don’t like Provolone cheese. I had wanted a hard cheese that could stand up to not being kept in the cooler, so I bought a block of Provolone. The kids refused to eat it. Next time, just bring cheddar and parmesan. Camping is not the time to try new flavors.
-The thinner flour sack kitchen towels dry faster, so bring those rather than the terrycloth kitchen towels.
– bring smaller trash bags. I brought 13 gallon trash bags, like I normally do, but I ended up taking the trash to the dumpster twice a day because I didn’t want to store it in the car (my site didn’t have a bear box.). It seemed wasteful to use a 13 gallon trash bag for half a days’ worth of garbage so next time I should bring smaller trash bags.
-Bring more long sleeved outfits. The weather was much colder than I had anticipated – I had even looked at the weather before I left and for some reason, seeing that the weather would be in the low 70s/mid 60s didn’t register as cold. After all, the weather was high 80s in DC. Welp, once we got to the mountains, we were cold. The only long sleeved outfits that I had packed for the kids were their pajamas and a sweatshirt or hoodie. Though of course the 7 year old’s sweatshirt was a size too small. Oh well, we managed. We all did wear the same clothes for the entire 36 hours, since it was the only long sleeved clothes that we had. We were going to get grimy from camping anyway, so I figured this was fine.
-Re-listen to this podcast episode from The Art of Manliness podcast. All about camping and camping gear. You kind of have to get past the bro tone of the podcast (what else could you expect with that title?) but I found some really helpful advice here about how to take care of gear.
-Good move – I unpacked and aired out all the camping equipment as soon as I got to the house and the majority of the camping gear was packed away within a few hours of our arrival home. I don’t always have the energy to air out all the camping gear right away, but I now see that it really pays off to make the effort to get it done right away. We got home at 3:20pm, and everything was aired and packed up by 6:00pm. (The kids’ sleeping bags, I had hung up to air out in the morning before we left for that impromptu hike, so I didn’t have to do that again at home.) If I don’t get the gear aired out and packed away right away, it tends to linger in the basement for days, even weeks. So yay me for getting it done right off the bat. I also started making lists in Notes of what was in each bin , including what items I will need to replenish in the bin next time we go camping. Sometimes these things are a little tedious, but are for sure gifts to future me. (In cast you are wondering, I like using this list from REI as my camping packing list.)

The rest of the week/weekend was pretty full. On Friday, I had lunch with a friend and her 5 year old before going to the open house for the 7 year old’s school. We were supposed to meet his teacher, but she had been in a minor car accident the day before so couldn’t come to the open house. We dropped of school supplies and the 7 year old still got to see his new classroom. Then in the evening we went to the pool, probably one of the last pool visits this summer as our pool closes after labor day. It was a little cool in the evening so we only stayed for an hour before coming home for pizza and Glee.

Saturday, we went out to visit my friend who lives in southeastern Maryland. It was a great visit – we swam in her pool, she made us the tastiest meal (burger and roasted vegetables), we got to visit with her neighbor’s sheep, she showed us her dock, and she taught the kids how to make Brazilian cheese bread. These tender little balls of doughy cheesy goodness were so tasty. She’s shared the recipe and I can’t wait to make them myself.

Saturday evening, my mother and aunt flew in for a visit, and we went from my friend’s house directly to the airport. We got to the airport a little early, so instead of going to the cellphone waiting lot, we went to a nearby park where you can watch the airplanes take off and land. I’ve always wanted to bring the kids to this park, but there is never any parking because it’s a pretty popular park. We were able to find parking and sat and watched planes take off while the kids played on the playground. Planes are so loud! I could feel deep visceral vibrations every time a plane went by.

On Sunday, we took my mom and aunt down to the Mall to see the monuments. It was actually quite hot and there was no small amount of whining from the kids about having to do so much walking. I feel like there is a lot to see in D.C., but unless you are on the Mall, it’s not always a very pleasant city to walk around in. Nonetheless, I think we covered a lot of ground. In four hours we saw:
-The outside of the White House (and the buildings around it)
– The Old Post Office Tower. This is one of those hidden gems of D.C., I think. The Old Post Office Tower is located in the Waldorf Astoria and is operated by the National Park Service. You can go up the Tower and get an amazing view of Washington, D.C. The view is not as spectacular as the Washington Monument, but tickets for the Washington Monument are really hard to come by, and I think the Old Post Office Tower is an easier alternative.
-Washington Monument
-MLK Memorial
-FDR Memorial
-WWII Memorial
And of course in the distance we saw (because on the Mall you can’t avoid seeing) the Capitol building, the Lincoln Memorial, and Jefferson Memorial. We also walked by the WWI Memorial, which I didn’t actually know existed. I’ll have to go back and check that one out. All told, I think we walked about seven miles, and it definitely felt like a typical touristy DC day.

Grateful for (the camping edition)
-The friend who, four or five years ago called us from the REI garage sale and said, “There’s a really nice tent here for sale. I think it will be perfect for you guys. I’m going to buy it and you can pay me back.” Every time I go camping, and set up the tent that is just the right amount of space for us (currently), I am so grateful that our friend M. saw this tent and thought of us.
-The same friend lending me marshmallow sticks and an extra camp chair.
-The kids being old enough to go to the bathroom together on their own. One of the trickiest things about camping with the two little kids is that someone always needs to go pee. Well, this trip, because our campsite was just two sites down from the bathroom, I felt pretty comfortable sending them to the bathroom together. In past years, I’ve brought a potty, or I’ve told them they can’t go to the bathroom until we put out the fire, or they’ve just peed in the woods. I love that now I can stay sitting by the fire and send the kids together to the bathroom.
-Dry weather. Because camping in the rain would have sucked.
-National Parks. I’m glad that there are National Parks, and that they provide so many opportunities to experience awe.

Looking Forward To:
-The kids being back in school. I have not been for a run or done any yoga since being home with the kids. I love my kids, but I also like it when they go to school and I have time to run and do things without having to referee an argument or feed someone or open a package or or or or…
-September house decluttering. September has been declared the month where we finally purge and declutter. I do not look forward to doing this, but I just have to think about how much nicer it will be when there is more open space in the house, and I no longer feel the burden of all the stuff in the attic waiting to be used.
-Reading Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi. Earlier this year, when I posted plans of reading down my TBR, so many people said I needed to move Homegoing to the top of the pile. You all were right. I’m only four chapters in, and it’s beautiful. Hard and sad, too.

What We Ate: With detailed camping notes.
Monday: Black Bean Tacos with Mango Slaw. Sort of based on this recipe from Love and Lemons. This was a super easy no-cook meal. (Well, I did warm up the tortillas.) Vegan for me. The kids ate theirs with feta cheese.

My meal planning notes and shopping list for camping.

Tuesday (Camping Day One):
–Lunch Picnic – Chicken Salad Sandwiches, carrots and cucumbers, apple slices.
– Dinner: Curry Ramen. I prepped most of this at home; I tossed sliced onions and carrots in a container with olive oil and curry powder. Chopped up some cabbage in a separate bag (I would have put this with the onions and carrots, but that container was already full.) At the campsite: Sauteed the onion/carrot/curry mixture until barely tender. Add water, ramen, frozen shrimp and cook until the noodles were done. I also impulsively prepped a freeze dried camp meal that had been in my camping box for a few years. It was really salty and pretty terrible. I don’t often throw out food, but I threw that camp meal out.

Wednesday (Camping Day Two)
–Breakfast – Bacon and egg burritos and fruit (strawberries and blueberries). Bacon is a “must have” camping food for me. For the eggs, at home I cracked them into a container and brought the container so I wouldn’t have to worry about breaking the eggs in transport. I always cook the bacon first and then fry the eggs in the bacon fat, that way I don’t have to bring extra oil on the trip. The kids did not really like this. I’m told it’s the Provolone’s fault because they could taste it on the eggs. Oh well. Typically they love this kind of thing.
–Lunch – eaten on the trail – Salami, Triscuits, carrots and cucumbers. (I had planned to bring the Provolone, but that was quickly squashed.) For snacks I brought trail mix, peanut butter crackers, and more carrots and apple slices.
–Dinner – Mac and cheese with hot dogs and corn cooked on the grill. This was the night I ran out of butane. For camping, I bring the mac n cheese where the cheese sauce is include . It’s easier to mix at the campsite if the mac and cheese comes with a cheese sauce already and not the powder. And I don’t have to bring butter that way. We cooked the hot dogs and the corn over the fire. The corn I prepped at home by rubbing it with olive oil, salt, and lots of pepper, then wrapping it tightly in foil. Once we got the fire going at the campsite, i just tossed the corn onto the hot embers and let it cook. For dessert we had s’mores. I’m not a fan of the Hersey chocolate so I always buy a bar of nice chocolate to use in s’mores. The 7 year old had picked out a dark chocolate raspberry bar, and it proved to be delicious in a s’more. Wil try that again.

Thursday: (Day Three Camping and home)
Breakfast – Yogurt, fruit, cereal. Even before we ran out of butane, I wanted breakfast on the departure day to be cold and simple so that we didn’t have to dirty anymore dishes.
Lunch – stopped at Frost Diner on the way home.
Dinner – (and we’re home.) – The family had burritos since they had gone to get haircuts at a salon next to the Taco Restaurant. I ate the leftovers they brought home since I stayed behind to pack up the camping gear.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Glee.

Saturday: Eat out, after our airport pick up: Japanese (I had the ramen and a spicy scallop roll)

Sunday: Burmese food take-out, picked up on our way home from walking the monuments. It was very tasty.

Hope you have a lovely last week of August. How are you planning on spending it?

Weekly recap + what we ate: July highlights/August Aspirations, 2024

Prop table. I love me a well-labelled prop table. I did something a little different this time and labelled the prop table by character rather than by object.

I’m enjoying the tail end of another weekend alone. The Husband has again taken the kids away on a road trip, this time to Indiana. They are going to visit friends, go to the Indiana State Fair, visit my in-law’s grave sites, and go to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. Is he an awesome dad or what?

I am at home by myself because I have to work so I couldn’t go along. I’ve had a nice few days, though. Even though the husband is the one who went away, I’m pretty sure I had the more restorative few days. Things I’ve done:

-Dinner with some friends whom I haven’t seen in ages.

– Drove up to Philadelphia to see the Mary Cassatt exhibit at the Philadelphia Art Museum. I had really wanted to see this exhibit, and sort of vaguely thought about going, but never made plans. When I saw the exhibit was closing in September, I was a little sad that I was going to miss it, but then I thought, “Why can’t I go see it?” No reason whatsoever! So I bought tickets and drove up. I think I would have taken the kids if I had had them this weekend, but being able to go by myself felt super indulgent. It was a beautiful exhibit, featuring a variety of Cassatt’s works – paintings, prints, pastels, sketches. I particularly loved seeing the sketches, and getting a sense of Cassatt’s process, how she captures a scene with a certain economy of line, and then whittles the scene down even further to the final painting.

I loved this series of paintings of women reading.

I also took in the Asian art exhibits. How intricate and practical many of the items were. It made me think of how skillfully beautiful every day objects were in centuries past. The amount of craftsmanship that it takes to paint a vase or carve figurines on a column is jaw dropping.

As an added bonus, I met up with a friend in Philadelphia whom I hadn’t seen in seven or eight years. We had both been baby stage managers together, learnin the trade from the same stage manager before going off to our respective careers. It was great to catch up and reflect on where life has taken us and what we’ve learned along the way.

-Watched some feel good rom coms – Finding You (struggling violinist goes to Ireland to find herself, meets cute movie star. Pretty Irish scenery, accents, Irish music, Vanessa Redgrave!) and About Fate (Girl needs a date for her sister’s wedding, coincidences throw a very nice boy in her way). Sweet and predictable and just what I wanted. Though, About Fate really annoyed me because it had the trope of sweet and capable guy meeting failure to launch girl. I get annoyed when protagonists are terrible at adulting. I mean a little bit of struggle is fine, but when they’re just incompetent at being decent humans I just feel uninvested in them getting a happy ending.

-Read. I finished three books and made good progress in two others, including I Capture the Castle for Cool Blogger’s Book Club. I might even get this weeks reading assignment done on time!

-Laundry lots of laundry. I had thought to get some other decluttering projects done, but that didn’t happen. I did purge a bunch of paper, though. The 7 year old insists on keeping every scarp of paper that comes home from school, so I took this opportunity to weed that out a little bit. I’m a little disappointed in myself to not declutter more, but on the other hand, we are at laundry basket zero, which never happens. Just in time for the rest of the family to come back with four days worth of laundry.

-Baked brownies. This recipe. It’s a super fudgy brownie, maybe too fudgy for my tastes. I have to say, my perfect brownie is the Ghirardelli mix from Costco. Maybe I should stop trying to find a perfect “from scratch” brownie recipe and just accept that what I want is the Ghirardelli. I also made peach muffins, since I picked up three boxes of peaches from this weekend’s Peach Truck run, the last of the season.

-Went on a hike with a friend K and her friend W. (I’ve managed to get a hike and a museum in this month after all!). We went on a short hike up to a spectacular view of the Potomac River and sat among rocks and talked about life while birds swooped around us. It’s so nice to talk with people who offer thoughtful conversation. I totally have a girl crush on W now and want to hang out with her again.

Afterwards we went to the nearby cute small town, got refreshing beverages – mine was a Sakura Lychee drink – and had lunch. What a nice ladies’ afternoon.

– Had my closing performance on Saturday. How I will miss this show. I like to make a list of the indelible moments of shows that I work on – live performance is so ephemeral and I think it is sometimes easy to let the experience flit away. Yet, I don’t want to take for granted how lucky I am to be part of a creative process, so even while running around backstage and checking props and people, I want to make sure I take time to savor moments, these singular fleeting moments that is live theatre. So here are some from this show:
– The tenor singing to the body of his dead brother, as he cradles it. Breaks my heart every night. Actually everything this singer does.
-The baritone who sings the priest, with his beautiful velvet voice. Wrap me in his voice forever, please.
-The baritone, who always shows me his handkerchief before he goes onstage because he knows I will ask to make sure he has it. (Because it would make for an awkward truce scene if he goes onstage without his white handkerchief)
-The bag pipes. Did I mention there are bagpipes in this show? How awesome is that? Definitely one to savor because how often will I get to hear bagpipes in such close proximity.
-The harp, which is directly behind me for most of the show. The harp part in this show is so delicate yet steady, each pluck of the strings resonates in me.
-The Sleep Chorus, a moment in the first act when the soldiers are singing about how they long for sleep and home. So beautiful it gives me chills every night.
-The percussion, timpani, and brass section, also behind me – those moments where they play so loud that I cover my ears yet still can feel the music through my soles, vibrating the floor.
-The baritone (there are a lot of baritones in this show) who plays the Aide-de-campe – his thoughtful, endearing, funny performance while he juggles a million props, and his ad libs in French. (That section on prop table with the white crate- that’s all him.)
-The insanity of the battle sequence, the backstage traffic of which felt like utter chaos until the third performance, when suddenly, magically, it began to run like clockwork and we could all just pretend that it’s utter chaos.
All in all I loved the past six weeks working on this show – one of the top career highlights, I would say.

Other Fun things this week:
-I make “clean out the produce drawer” muffins. I found this muffin recipe, and it seemed pretty versatile, so I looked in my produce drawer and found lots of languishing produce to put into a muffin. I added – apples, pears (that I had forgotten/didn’t realize we had), two wrinkled beets, a huge pattypan squash that had been given to use by our neighbors, but which confounded me so has been languishing in the produce drawer. I might have also added carrots too, but I can’t keep track. I reduced the sugar and used whole wheat flour. I think they turned out great. They were moist and just the right sweetness. The kids were decidedly lukewarm – no raves, but they did each eat several muffins so they couldn’t have been that bad. It was so satisfying to finally find a use for those two sad wrinkled beets in our produce fridge.

-Going to the park with the 7 year old to read. He didn’t have camp this week since it’s a lighter week for me, and he said he wanted to sit outside and read, so we brought our books to the park and read on a park bench together. He’s reading one of the Wings of Fire graphic novels. I’m reading I Capture the Castle.

-Going shoe shopping and school supply shopping. It was tax-free week in Maryland, so I figured it was a good week to get things done. The 12 year old didn’t have a school supply list, per se. I asked her what school supplies she needed and shed said, “I don’t need school supplies, I just use the Chromebook.” Well that made me a little sad. We bought her a binder and some paper and pencils and folders anyway. And then the two little kids got new shoes. They wanted the exact same shoes as they had last year, so that made for a quick and easy trip to the shoe store!

-Making lemonade. I’ve been craving lemonade lately, so I bought a bag of lemons and the 12 year old and I made mint lemonade base one afternoon. Perfect for drinking mixed with fizzy water. I had so much lemonade base that I stuck some in the blender with some strawberries that were a touch past their prime and poured the result into popsicle molds, making strawberry lemonade popsicles.

-When the kids steal my phone and take group selfies when I’m not looking. I get annoyed that they take my phone, but who can stay irked forever at these faces:

Reflections and Aspirations: I finally had a moment to write down my July reflections and August Aspirations. Why do I always seem to get to this when the month is already half over? Anyhow, here they are:
July 2024 Highlights:
-Writing guest blog posts for Elisabeth and Engie. So flattered to have been asked. Those posts were so fun to write.
-Swim Team Season. Summer Swim Team is exhausting, but I loved watching the 12 year old swim and seeing her have fun being on swim team. Also the 7 year old sort of figuring out how to swim. And taking showers on his own. Those felt like milestones.
– Going skating and duckpin bowling with the family. Small adventures.
-The 12 year old going to NYC with her theatre camp and her end of camp showcase.
– Watching the Olympics.
-Getting a new haircut. Also well woman exam, and mammogram. Still have not scheduled that eye appointment yet.
-Visit from my cousin and her daughter. So good to see them and hang out.

July Lowlights:
-The oppressively hot weather. Ick. So much ick. It made me not want to run or leave the house or do anything.
-The circus that is American politics. I try not to let the news get to me, but July 2024 was a lot and it made me just feel so angry and annoyed.
-Having to manage three drop offs and pick ups since all three kids were at different camps/schools. I felt like our mornings were a constant scramble. The moment we got in the car, someone would always ask, “Are we late?” and the answer was always, “No one is on time until Mom is on time to work.”
-Some hard parenting moments. Makes me want to throw up my hands and give up some days. When does it become less of a struggle to get kids to be responsible humans?

August Aspirations:
LIFE/FAMILY/FUN:
-Start school! Buy school supplies [DONE!], double check if the kids need any new clothes.
-Activity sign ups for the fall. I think I know what these are – pretty much the same as last year, but I just have to spend a few hours at my computer and knock it all out. (I’m really thankful that these things can be done online now. I think when I was a child it all involved postage and physical forms and writing checks. Some activities I still write checks for, though.)
– Planning a trip for the long weekend in September where there is no school. Perhaps. Need to really think about this and book things.
-Plan the Malaysia leg of our Asia trip. This has been on the list for several months now, but I think it really needs to be done this month or next.
-Renaissance Faire!!! Figure out when to go.
-Plan birthday party for 4 year old in September.

HOME:
-Window treatments (Still.) Make an appointment with the company that my friend recommended for them to come out and do a consult.
-Declutter one area. Desk? Sewing corner? Pantry?
-Get rid of my car. (Still.)
-Get the front door painted. Choose a paint colour. Paint colours are hard – I thought I’d make it easy on myself and only give myself two options, but what looks good in the morning always looks meh at night and vice versa. So which do I pick?

On the left – No more Drama. on the right, Morocco Red. Which would you pick for a front door?

ME/SOCIAL/FUN:
– Mom’s group lunch (already planned)
-Seeing my friend K. (Already did this)
-Mom and aunt’s visit. Reminder to myself to not revert to teen bratty-ness with my mom.
– Eye Doctor Appointment.
-Paint more pictures. For the sake of having a concrete goal: paint and send two cards.
-Do the NYTimes 9 minute strength workout at least four times a week.
-recommit to journaling daily.
-buy a new purse. My purse is literally in tatters. I’ve been thinking of this one from Quince, or this Sportsac one? I’ve usually had Sportsac purses, but my last one was a little on the small size, so I could stand to get something a little bigger.

WORK:
-Titles for September vocal recital.
-Update stage management handbook for work. (This can spill over into September)
-Finish/archive paperwork from my summer show.

Some of these will probably rollover to be September Aspirations, though, given that it’s almost the end of August.

Grateful for:
-Cooler weather. The weather has been glorious this week! The muggy humidity has left the air, the heat is not as oppressive as it has been, and there is a breeze in the air.

-Getting to dog sit. Every so often, I think, “Maybe I want a dog.” Then I think, “No, actually I don’t think I can fit that in my life.” So I’m grateful when my friends go out of town and I get to dog sit this cutie for them:

A couple weeks with Max is the perfect amount of time to scratch my dog itch (while I scratch his), and make me realize, that I don’t really want a dog 24/7. But I have been enjoying long walks and doggie snuggles and licks these past few weeks.

-My uterus is fine. Or more specifically my uteri are fine. This week started with an ultrasound that involved squirting water into my uterus to get a better look at things. Fun times. No, not at all – it was deeply uncomfortable. But in the spirit of “let’s all acknowledge how different yet normal everyone’s body is”, I’m reporting it here. So I’d been having really wacked periods – like unending light bleeding for months and then really long (like 3 week long) periods, and then weeks of nothing. At my last well woman visit, my doctor said, let’s check that out. When I was pregnant with my first kid, they thought I had a fibroid that was pushing the fetus and would interfere with a vaginal birth. So I had a c-section with her. (A whole other story – maybe I’ll write it here some day.) Then somewhere along the way they said, you have two uteruses. (I think this was after my second miscarriage after that first kid, it came up when they were trying to figure out why the miscarriages.) Anyhow, we tucked that information somewhere and people seemed generally unconcerned because I got pregnant again. I had two more kids, managed to VBAC them (because the babies seemed like they weren’t going to wait for that scheduled c-section.) Then went on with life and maybe still having a fibroid and two uteri, but not really doing anything about it. So fast forward to a couple weeks ago – odd periods, let’s get that checked out, vaginal ultrasound, squirt with water. Guess what? No fibroid! Yay! Just two perfectly healthy uteri. (And just one cervix. The real term they used bicornuate uterus – it’s pretty normal, though rare.) The inconsistent periods? “Well,” my doctor said, “Your uterus is fine, so it’s just you being in your mid forties. I can put you on hormones or birth control pills if you want to try to regulate your periods more.” I don’t really need another thing to keep track of, so I said, “Thank you, but I’ll just make sure to always travel with a back-up pad in my purse.” So that is the story of my uteri. After years of thinking I had a fibroid that I would have to deal with, it’s a huge relief to know that I don’t. Also grateful for my gynecologist because she is pretty awesome and I hope she never retires.

Looking Forward To:
– More peaches from the peach truck! I got three boxes this time since last time I got two and the kids went through them in four days.

-The last week before school starts. I’m contemplating taking the kids camping this coming week. On the one hand, I haven’t been camping yet this summer and could really use the extended time in nature. On the other hand, it seems a lot to cram into the last week before school starts, and maybe I want a more low-key week. We’ll see.

-Time with friends – I have a visit with a friend planned and also lunch with my mom’s group this coming week. Sometimes I feel like there isn’t a lot of interest from the moms in my mom’s group to get together, but I figure I don’t actually like hanging out in big groups, so even if it’s just one or two people coming to lunch, that feels pretty satisfying and makes it worth asking if anyone wants to gather.

What We Ate – I’m not feeling great about our dinner game these past few weeks. There hasn’t been a lot of meal planning, and I’ve just been eating whatever I can scrounge up or throw together. But at least, I’m eating down the fridge…:
Saturday: Pizza leftovers and Newsies (The proshot of the Broadway musical. Loved the dance numbers, the new musical numbers were pretty meh, though. Not sure if I feel the urge to see this in the theatre.)

Sunday: Pizza leftovers (again.)

Monday: Pork and Eggplant stir fry, eaten with noodles.

Tuesday: Salmon and potatoes, cooked on the grill. On the side we had cut up veggies, and I also made a pico de gallo and a mango salsa to eat with the salmon.

Wednesday: Chicken salad sandwiches

Thursday: The family was gone. I had dinner out with friends. I had a tomato, corn, burrata salad with shrimp and French fries.

Friday: Family still gone. I had congee with kimchi and two fried eggs.

Saturday: I had a late lunch, so I didn’t have dinner. When I got home after my show, I had left over Peruvian chicken with black beans, rice, plantains and the leftover salsa from Tuesday.

How is your August going? Is your summer winding down too?

Weekly recap + what we ate: back to work and July aspirations

Well I started working on my next show. It’s nice to be working out of the house again, but man this whole job thing is a lot. I managed to do three different morning drop offs last week and the 12 year old was only late to musical theatre camp 4 out of 5 times. We’ll do better. The mornings are deceptively languid from 6:55am – 7:30pm and then it’s rush rush rush panic and yell and where are your shoes and get in the car for the next hour. I think I need to re-think the morning structure. Or just accept the freneticism. Or have better systems. Who knows

Some fun things last week:
I did get my haircut. The new stylist worked out pretty well:

The cut isn’t as complicated as the guy I used to go to – it’s a bob rather than a pixie – but I still do like it; it’s a nice change from the pixie, which is what I usually get. I like how short and sharp the bob is, and I like the fringe-y bangs. AND it takes two minutes to shower now that it’s much shorter, which I always LOVE about having short hair. But also – all that grey! I have no interest in colouring my hair – I don’t think I could keep up with it – so I’m trying to go grey gracefully. But it is still a bit of a shock every time I see how much grey hair I have.

-I also had my long overdue well-woman appointment, and got bloodwork done. I don’t have a primary care physician, so my gyn does my bloodwork. She also ordered a thyroid ultrasound because I’ve been having a unending light periods for months now and then she also ordered me a poop in the box kit for colon cancer screening, which I can do instead of a colonoscopy. What a novel thing! Anyhow, I am rubbish about health screenings since I feel pretty healthy most of the time, so it felt like true adulting to go to one doctor’s appointment and have her assign me so many things – kind of like homework. Next up, I need to schedule my eye exam.

-We went skating on Saturday. The lady who does our bi-weekly cleaning is away this month, so on Saturday, we buckled down and had a morning of cleaning. I even cleaned the air registers. But anyhow, as a fun post cleaning activity, we went to the ice rink. At first I thought we could go to the pool. But do you know what is cooler than a swimming pool at 12:30pm in 80+ degree weather? An ice rink.

One of the things I love about going to the ice rink is that one can see so many different levels of ability all at once during free skate. You see the first timers clinging to the sideboards, their skates tied too loosely, ankles akimbo. AND you see the skaters who, while not Olympic caliber, can skate backwards and forwards and jump and spin and also do that hockey stop, you know the kind where you turn your skates sideways and send up a spray of ice. I feel like there aren’t a lot of places you can go to watch people hone their craft the way you can at the ice rink. Part of the fun for me is to watch people try a move again and again and again. There is something so inspiring about seeing all the different levels of skaters, knowing that everyone who I see doing a camel spin at one point was a beginner skater, inching around the ice, clinging to the sideboards.
After the ice rink we made a stop at a playground, at the kids’ request. The playground was nice and shady, but also a little buggy, so we only stayed 30 mins. Then we headed to Dairy Queen. When I go to DQ I always have the same thing – a Heath Bar Blizzard. Is there anything more delicious as a Heath Bar Blizzard on a hot day?

-Another swim meet! I had a different job this time – usually I time, but this time I got to be a runner, running the timing sheets to the people who enter the times into the system. The 12 year old swam her first 100 meter Individual Medley in a meet. That was fun to watch. It was the last meet of the season, except for Divisionals. Strange to think swim team season is wrapping up for the summer already!

Butterfly. It’s such a dramatic looking stroke!

-In other swimming news, I think the two little kids have started to figure out how to swim. So I seem to have misplaced their swim vests. (I say I, but … why do I say “I”? They should be responsible for their own damn swim vests!) So we’ve been going to the pool without swim vests. Which means, that we need to stay in the 3 ft area, or we go to 4 feet with both kids hanging on to me and that’s kind of tedious after a while. Anyhow, maybe this is the case of just taking off the training wheels, but both kids kind of figured out how to swim for two or three meters on their own – the 7 year old by doing his version of streamline, and the 4 year old by doggy paddling. This is kind of exciting to me – the 12 year old was swimming independently by the time she was six, so I was starting to get a little concerned that the 7 year old wasn’t going to figure it out and I would have to be with him in the pool forever. So yay!

-The Hallowe’en costumes are out at Costco!!!! What the what?

June recap and July Aspirations: Mid July seems about right for me to reflect on June and think about what I want to get out of the last 11 days of the month (note, that number was 15 when I started this post, but I’m writing slowly these days, I guess…)

June 2024 Highlights:
-Number 1 highlight definitely is our Family Trip to Maine. I want to write a trip recap, but who knows if it will happen.
-Finishing out the school year for the 12 year old and the 7 year old. Yay!
-Mid day weekday movie date with my friend L to see Babes. We laughed so so so hard, felt all the feels, and going to a movie on a Thursday afternoon just felt decadent.
-Swim team season starting and lots of time at the pool. It’s a bit of an endeavor to get there, but I genuinely enjoy being in the pool.

June 2024 Lowlights:
-The 4 year old not meeting assessment requirement to go to kindergarten early, and then having to start the appeals process.
-Post show malaise. I finished a show Labor Day weekend, and then fell into kind of a slump of not being productive.
-Discovering that our favorite restaurant in the area to get Taiwanese breakfast no longer serves Taiwanese breakfast. And by “our favorite” I mean “the only”. We used to go to this restaurant and be the first ones in the door on a Sunday or Saturday morning. So super bummed about this one. Well, I guess that’s another reason to get excited about our trip to Taiwan later this year
-The start of a heat wave. Can we call it a wave, if it is still hot, three weeks later?

July Aspirations:
– Get through swim team season.
– Start working on a new show. Stay ahead of the paperwork and don’t leave it for the last minute.
-Exercise: 10 mins of yoga/ day. Run. (I’m doing horribly at this. I don’t think I’ve run at all so far in July. But it’s just been so very very very hot.)
-find time to journal daily.
– Have a not miserable commute: good audiobooks/podcasts to listen to, make sure I have ice cold water and snacks at all times.
-Check dates for supertitle gig and poke the organization for a contract
-Plan some details of the Malaysia leg of our trip to Asia.
– The 7 year old wants to make a dress for the 4 year old – help him to this. Though this may be more of a August thing for when my work schedule slows down.
– Make plans to see my friend L who lives near where I’ll be working, and my friend K whom I used to see once or twice a month, but I haven’t seen since April.
-Schedule: ~~Well woman~~ (done), ~~hair cut~~ (done), dentist (scheduled), eye doctor, window treatment company.
– Think about a trip with the 12 year old.
– Declutter: desk, sewing/craft corner, kids’ papers, pantry. (or maybe just pick one.)
– Make more movement towards getting rid of my car. In May (or was it June?) I sent one email to collect information about donating the car to the high school auto repair training program. Then I kind of stalled. (heh heh. But the car hasn’t stalled. Its still runs okay, which is kind of my hang up.) I guess the next step is to fill out the paperwork.
-Eat peaches and summer vegetables. There is something called the Peach Truck that comes through our area and you can get a 12 lb box of peaches for $45. (Or two boxes for $64). My friend and I were going to go in together on a box, but she is going to be on vacation the next time the Peach Truck comes through. Maybe I can eat all 12 lbs myself? I might buy a box and bring it to work.
– Go to bed before ~~midnight~~ 1:00am. (I am not doing well at this one at all so far. It’s mostly prompted by wanting to wake up earlier and not be tired since I have a long commute to my current gig. But the desire to revenge bedtime procrastinate is strong. I’m a little inspired by Lindsay’s Weekly Dare project – maybe I can just go to bed by 11:30pm for one week? )
-Finish my current library books so that I can join Engie in reading I Capture the Castle for Cool Bloggers’ Book Club.

Random Dilemna – What to do with soggy Cheerios? One of my major irritants is that the kids don’t always finish their breakfast in the morning. Sometimes I will just finish it for them, but when the unfinished portion is a bowl of soggy neglected Cheerios… well my desire to not waste food might not extend that far every time. But what do I do with the Cheerios that are too wet to put in the trash and too solid to dump down the drain? I guess we have a garbage disposal so dumping down the sink isn’t the worst idea, but I don’t love dumping things down the sink unless it’s totally necessary. I could drain the milk out… but that seems like a lot of work. There are no good solutions here. (Well, there is, actually – the kids should just eat their Cheerios.) So the bowl of half eaten food just sits on the counter for the whole day until the Cheerios disintegrate into the milk.

Grateful For:
-Shade in the parking lot. It has been sooooooooooooo hot lately. I’m trying to lean into the enveloping feeling of a hot car, but sometimes it is too much. Luckily there are a number of trees in the parking lot at work, so if I’m strategic, I can park in a spot that will be shady when I get off work. I’ve also started putting a towel over the steering wheel during the day so it isn’t as hot when I get in the car.

-Finishing the hiring process for the stage management staff for the upcoming opera season. We’ve staffed the stage management teams for the 2024-2025 season! I never expected when I started the process last December that it would take all the way until July to finish the staffing – we had some people drop out to take other contracts so that kind of prolonged everything. I’m excited for all the returning and new people I’ll get to work with next season. I’m really grateful for my supervisor for leading the process, though. It was my first time working on staffing and she really held my hand and talked through every decision with me. Hiring is hard! Now fingers crossed that no one else withdraws from a contract. Although, sometimes its’ crazy to me to think that in February of 2024, I’m offering work for May of 2025.

-Work from home prep week. Last week, the first week on my contract, was mostly a paperwork week, so I was able to work from home for a lot of it. That was nice because a) I didn’t have to drive around the beltway every day, and b) I could be home and prep things for the afternoon swim practice and c) I could also get done all the life admin things mentioned at the top of this post. I’m thankful for the technology that allows me to work from home. At the same time, I also love being in the rehearsal room. So there are things to be grateful for either way.

– Democracy. It’s a bonkers time in American politics right now, like unbelievably incomprehensible. Or maybe the issue is that it is completely comprehensible if I look at things with empathy. But… I think all things considered, I’m grateful that people still believe in Democracy, despite the spectacle it currently is in America.

Looking Forward To:
-Duckpin bowling! The Husband suggested we go duckpin bowling this weekend as it is an activity that would be cool (as in temperature), family friendly, and screen-free. I’ve never been before, so I’m excited to try out something new.

-Visit from my mother! My mom is coming at the end of August and she’s bringing my aunt with her. It will be right as school starts, so things will be busy for sure, but it will be nice to see her. I haven’t seen her since Spring Break.

-Hearing about the 4 year old’s kindergarten appeal. I had a phone conversation with the person in charge of the 4 year old’s early entrance into kindergarten appeal. She was lovely and I was able to share all the bright and clever things that the 4 year old can do and also explain why I thought her reading scores were low. The appeals lady said she was surprised the reading skills score was so low because the 4 year old scored so high in all the other areas. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but fingers crossed.

-The 12 year old’s musical theatre camp showcase. They are doing various scenes from musicals and she is playing Fiona in the Shrek excerpt. Can’t wait to see it.

What We Ate:
Monday: Grilled Eggplant Salad – Recipe from the Washington Post. Dinner at the pool. I thought this was really tasty – It had a Southeast Asian flavor profile with mint and coconut and cashews. I added grilled tofu for protein. It was not a hit with the kids, and I will admit that the coconut dressing, which was delicious, looked like a certain bodily fluid. Vegan.

Tuesday: Pasta and meatballs. Dinner at the pool. The 4 year old’s request. I made turkey ricotta meatballs on Sunday, froze them, then popped them into the InstantPot on Tuesday morning with a jar of tomato sauce.

Wednesday: We met up with our friend for dinner. I had a very tasty burger and a salad. And then we had amazing desserts: creme brulee and sticky toffee bread pudding. I will almost always order crème brûlée if I see it on a menu.

Thursday: Chicken Salad Sandwich wraps – dinner at the pool. Chicken salad from the deli counter – really tasty.

Friday: Dumplings (from frozen – these were the Ling Ling brand- eaten at the pool), then pizza and Glee after swim practice.

Saturday: Dumplings (from frozen – these were the ones purchased at our favorite dumpling house), and green beans, eaten while watching King Fun Panda 4. Cute movie.

Sunday: fend for yourself nights – leftovers, noodles and dumplings and we started watching The Acolyte. How did we manage to eat dumplings three nights in a row? Well, 1)the kids LOVE dumplings so will always eat them. 2) they’re frozen and convenient so we almost always have them around, 3) they only take ten minutes to cook up.

Weekly recap + what we ate: better late than never – April aspirations

So I had a realization this week that between April 2nd and April 25th, I will have had exactly ONE day off work. Actually for the whole month of April, I will have three days off. We work a six day week when we’re in rehearsal, so it’s not as out of the ordinary as it sounds to have only a handful of days off – and of course, some of these long weeks is self inflicted because on last week’s day off, I had to work my supertitle gig. But still. Ooof. If I ever wonder why I feel so behind this month, this is why. I find myself re-writing the same to do list week to week and never being able to cross anything off. I did make a March reflection/ April aspiration list while on the plane home from California from Spring Break- so even though April is over half way over, I thought I’d share the list – you know, just another thing that’s behind these days….

March highlights:
-Spring Break trip to Berkeley and San Francisco – this was for sure the high highlight. I promise to finish the recaps, including the details on the trip to the emergency room.
-Lenten Women’s Group. This group that met Tuesday nights during Lent provided so much connection and thoughtful reflection.
-Going to lots of theatre, but especially the local high school production of Beauty and the Beast.
-Watercolour class. I learned SO much in this class.
-a really quick trip to see the cherry blossoms – literally a 15 minute run before a work meeting. I used to think going to see the cherry blossoms was something for tourists, but I’ve grown to love the magical feeling of walking among the trees in bloom, and now I feel like they are a yearly must see.
-On the work front – figuring out a new sign in sheet system for performers. Something that’s needed a bit of reform for a while and I’m so relieved that we’ve started to implement the new system. There are still some things to work out, but it’s a start.
-Daylight Saving and longer days and warmer weather.
-Going running with the 12 year old. Once.
– Dinner with a beloved colleague.

Lowlights – I’m not sure if there are any specific lowlights in March. Well, maybe the Emergency Room trip with the four year old, but even that was pretty chill once we got there. There is the daily tediousness of kids and chores and screentime struggles. I guess for me also, not having time to journal, which then makes it feel like life is slipping by unremarked upon, which always, for some reason, makes me panic a little and sends me into an existential spiral. Looking back, the are mostly the same lowlights as last month. I wonder what that says – maybe I’m stuck in a rut?

April Aspirations:
– ~~Taxes~~. Done by the end of the first week of April, which is early for us, but our tax guy had implemented an April 1st deadline for tax documents, which is helpful. Next year I need to do better accounting for our rental property, though. It was harder than it had to be this year.
-Research options to get rid of my car. (Still – have not made any progress on this one.)
-Process Amazon and Duluth Trading company returns. (The Amazon one is done. The Duluth one is complicated, so the box just sits forlornly in my bedroom.)
-Submit forms for the 4 year old’s early admittance to kindergarten.
-Purge the toy room.
-Finalize summer camp schedules. I think I forgot to sign up the 12 year old for basketball camp. I need to check on that one.
– Things that need replacing – 1) my purse/crossbody bag had a huge hole in the outside lining so needs to be replaced, 2) I need new sandals for summer, and 3) a new Yeti travel tumbler since I lost mine two months ago and it is nearing iced chai season for me, 4) maybe, for fun, new linen pants for the summer. Though I don’t find pants fun anymore.
-Decide on our Asia Trip.
-Mow the lawn twice. I promised that Husband that instead of hiring a yard service I would trade off mowing the lawn with him. He has now mowed twice and I have mowed not at all.

Okay, I am realizing that I’ve been blogging on and on about needing to get rid of my car and purge toys and what not for about five months now. I should make some movement on those so I can start griping about new things.

So the ironic thing is the Husband took the kids camping with friends this past weekend, and I didn’t go because I had to work. And I thought, “Great! House to myself! I’ll knock out some of those April Aspirations!” NOPE. The first night, I got home, picked up/tidied the living room, cleaned the kitchen, made baked chick peas, did a full load of laundry and then was too exhausted to even read my book. Saturday night was even worse, because for some reason I was soooooo tired, though I did manage to fold and put away that laundry that I started the night before. It’s so annoying how little life tasks got in the way of bigger life tasks.

Sunday morning, I drove up to the campground, which is only 40 minutes away, and hung out for an hour before having to head in to work. I had expected to show up in time to help the Husband break down the camp, but when I got there at 8:45am, he had already taken the whole thing down. My kids were eating breakfast out of red solo cups and barely said hello to me before running off into the woods with the other kids. Feeling pretty useless, I settled into a camp chair, wrapped in a blanket that my friend’s mom piled on me, pet the dog and just chatted with everyone until I had to go to work.

We had a weekend of really big rehearsals. The show I’m working on has a lot of people – 58 choristers, 12 supers, 10 dancers, 20 children, and 7 principal singers. That’s 107 people in the room. Well 100 on Sunday because some people were excused from that rehearsal. It is it’s own brand of organized chaos. I spent a lot of Sunday in dance rehearsals – the dancers set their choreography separately and then we merge them in with the singers. I find dance so fascinating – the process is mind boggling to me, how the choreographer says a few words, makes some slight movements, and out of it comes gorgeous feats of athleticism and movement. It’s such a different creative process and language from working with singers or actors. And how dancers remember all the steps and sequences – I am in awe.

Other fun things this week:
-Carpet of blossoms at the bus stop. The Kwanzan cherry blossoms, which bloom about two weeks after the Yoshina blossoms on the Mall. I love their huge puffs of pinkness. At our school bus stop, there is a Kwanzan cherry tree and the petals are starting to shed, making a bubble gum pink carpet on the green grass. I love the colour palette they make up:

And the four year old likes throwing the petals in the air like confetti:

– The vocal recital that I did the supertitles for this week featured the world premiere of a new song cycle. I thought it a beautiful piece, and especially loved the poetry. The text is by poet Jeanne Minahan, and a lot of the poems were about new parenthood. I loved these lines from a poem called After:

They say I gave you birth,
I think they may be wrong,
you bore me from that place
of no return, you pulled me
from myself, I’ve learned.

Sometimes I feel like that – like I don’t feel like the same person I was before I had kids – that they unearthed something in me, or perhaps because of them I’ve had to find a little bit more focus in myself.

-On the day of the recital, I had a really long dinner break. The weather was gorgeous – blazingly hot and sunny, and almost summer like, only without the oppressive humidity of deep summer. So I took a walk to Georgetown and treated myself to a boba tea. There are three or four boba places in Georgetown and I’m determined to try them all. I didn’t get out on a walk every day this week, so taking a walk on my dinner break felt amazing. I passed a guy playing bagpipes on a corner:

Squint to see the bagpiper. Hearing music unexpectedly is always so lovely.

Outside the boba place was this fun mural:

The actual boba place was okay- I liked that you could get your tea black and they had lychee jelly. I ordered a black oolong tea, 30% sugar, with boba and lychee jelly. It was fine, except the tea was still warm – a good sign because that meant it was freshly brewed and not powder- but I did want a cold drink and it took a while for the tea to chill because it had been hot. The other funny thing was that the place insisted that you order via a kiosk. When I got there , there was a group of college girls there (I think they were college age – I can’t tell how old anyone is anymore). They were all speaking French so i guessed that they were exchange students or something. But they apparently couldn’t pay via credit card and were super confused and ended up going to the counter and asking the lady at the register how to pay since they only had cash. The lady at the register took their order and payment at the register. Which made me feel like, “Why do I have to use a kiosk?” I hate using kiosks. Oh well. But watching these young ladies, I was full of admiration – I had badly wanted to study abroad in college and I didn’t manage to work up the courage to do so – but what a great adventure it must be for them to be living in a foreign country and have to navigate things like kiosks at the boba place. There is so much to learn about navigating life that I now take for granted, but I know that when I was young, the world was bewildering.

Boba and Georgetown canals and sunshine. A nice evening. Also – look how bright it is at 6:30pm!!!

Grateful For:
-Windows in our rehearsal hall. I’m pretty sure this has been on my list before, but it is still a wonderful thing. I’ve spent many a rehearsal process in windowless rooms, so to be able to rehearse in a room with floor to ceiling windows feels so luxurious. The other day, during a particularly tedious rehearsal, I was able to look out the window and see all the beautiful pink clouds of sunset and it was such a stunning little pick me up.

-The monitor set up that the Husband put in our guest room for when one of us has to work from home. When the Husband first set up two external monitors and a set of speakers on our little Ikea desk, i thought it was overkill. But now I fully admit, it is an awesome set up. When I had to format supertitles this week, it was amazing to be able to run the slides on one screen, edit them on another and have the original text up for comparison on a third. Plus, I can play the music via the speakers and actually give the titles a test run. It’s all so much more efficient than clicking back and forth, minimizing and maximizing screens when I need to look at one thing or another.

-Living walking distance to a Metro station. On Saturday, I biked to work, but then when I left it was dark and I still don’t have lights on my bike, so I was able to take the Metro home. It was really nice not to have to worry about how I was going to get home.
Although, on my way out of the Metro, I saw a sign:

Our stop is going to be closed basically ALL SUMMER. That is going to really suck.

Looking Forward To:
– Lunch with some people from my Mom’s group. Only one person could make it to the April meet up, but I think two or three can make it this time. It will be nice to catch up.
-Mowing the lawn. I actually don’t mind mowing the lawn, especially since we now have an electric lawnmower and it isn’t as loud or smelly as the gas one we used to have. And it is an excuse to be outside. I don’t do much yardwork – the mosquitoes and the fear of pulling up the wrong plants keep me away. But mowing… I actually look forward to.
-Just started this audiobook – picked because Richard Armitage (who was oh so dreamy in North and South) narrates it. The novel is gripping and feels appropriate reading for the time/times, but so very sad so far. I don’t know if I’ll make it all the way through right now – I think I may need a lighter audiobook to get through tech week. (I’m open to suggestions for audio books!)

-mornings off. Our rehearsal schedule is entering a period when we mostly work afternoon and evenings, so I’ll have a couple mornings off this week. Goals – take care of some of those April aspirations, run, meal prep. Of course this means that the Husband will be home almost every night on his own with the kids. I think a room full of 100 performers is much easier than 3 kids. At least when I tell the chorus what to do, they just do it and don’t argue with me.

What We Ate: I didn’t really meal plan this week because there were a lot of variables going on. I’ll need to do some prep this week and next, since I’ll be going into tech week the first week of May. (Also – how is next week the first week of MAY already?!?!?!)

Monday: Bean and parmesan soup, made in the InstantPot, with leftovers which I was able to freeze.

Tuesday: The Husband made pasta and green beans for the kids. I worked and ate leftovers.

Wednesday: The Husband and the kids went to dinner with a friend while I worked. I had leftovers again. And a massaged Kale salad with cheddar, apples, avocados, and pepitas.

Thursday: The Husband made mac and cheese from scratch for the kids. I was working this night and had a salad from the canteen at work.

Friday: I had leftovers (soup), the Husband and kids were camping and ate camp food, not sure what. .

Saturday: I had a kale salad and the leftover Mac and cheese – basically scrounge around in the salad and leftover-eating.

Sunday: The Husband brought home pizza. I had leftover pizza when I got home from work.

Berkeley/ San Francisco Spring Break 2024: Day 1-3

Vacation recap!

I don’t often have Spring Break off, so when I realized that I did, we decided to take a family trip. We chose to go to Berkeley for Spring Break this year because my brother lives there and while he and his family have come to visit us several times, we hadn’t been to visit him since 2017. Like Amsterdam last year, it was a family based destination, but we took advantage of being in a big city to have some fun adventures.

The flight over went quite smoothly. It was a 6:30am flight, and we left home at 4:05 am. It was hard for me to get up that early because I am a “night before” packer so I didn’t go to sleep til about 2:30am. Plus I had to get tax documents out to our tax person, and send the soccer snack sign ups before we left, so I had a few things to do the night before. My own fault for being such a procrastinator. We drove to the airport and parked at a hotel via Spot Hero. Spot Hero is a third party site that let you book parking spots at hotels near the airport, then you can just take the airport shuttle to the airport. It’s much cheaper than airport parking, and gives us the flexibility to drive ourselves to the airport. Even with leaving 15 minutes later than we wanted, having to go back to get a forgotten bag, and missing a few turns, we parked and still got to the airport at 5:15am. Good for us!!

Early morning airport.
Grateful that the kids are of an age to carry/wheel their own luggage.

We flew Southwest and somehow the kids got put in a different boarding group from the adults. We were a little nervous about this, but it had been so long since we last flew that I had forgotten about Family Boarding and that we could actually board together between Group A and Group B since we had kids. Hooray! We only have two more years of Family Boarding left, and that makes me a little sad.

I sat with the two little kids and the Husband sat with the 12 year old. We had forgotten to pack earphones for the two little kids, so they shared my spare pair of earbuds. More to the point- the 7 year old forgot to bring his earphones home from school and the 4 year old was playing with her earphones the night before, and didn’t put them back in her backpack. Luckily, the Husband had an extra set of earphones in his bag, so each kid took one earbud, which was a little awkward, but they seemed fine with it and was actually kind of sweet. The kids watched movies and drank apple juice on the flights and were generally pretty chill. There was a layover in Kansas City where we found a playspace, a real bookstore (not just a magazine kiosk with best-sellers) and we ate BBQ, which might have been a little heavy for 8am, but we we were in Kansas City, so why not?

Ready for the flight. Side note: the 7 year old made that sleep mask in sewing class!

We arrived in Oakland at 12:30pm and took the BART to my brother’s. I had pre-loaded the transit card onto my phone before my trip and it proved really convenient to be able to just tap my phone to ride transit. It did take me a couple days to find the right angle to tap to consistently get my phone to read, but once I figured it out it worked really well – I could add money while on the go and I could see how much money I was using. I had been hesitant to put payment methods on my phone up til now, but with the Clipper Card on the phone you save the $3 card fee and I could do it before I got to Oakland, so it seemed practical. I’m a little slow to technology, but having the card on my phone wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be and I think I’ll have to do the same with my DC Metro card. Maybe.

My sister-in-law met us at the BART station in Berkeley with the car so the Husband drove the luggage and the 7 year old to their house while she and I and the 12 year old and 4 year old walked – it was just a 15 minute walk to her house and the weather was beautiful. My brother has just finished a huge home renovation; they literally took down everything except one wall and one floor. Apparently they had to leave one wall and floor intact or else the project would be a “new build” and there are more stringent regulations for that. Their “new” house is gorgeous, fill of light and clean lines and cool things like heated bathroom floors and a lanai. They also converted the garage into a one bedroom apartment. They are eventually going to rent out that apartment, but it is currently empty and that’s where we stayed. It was really convenient because we had the place to ourselves to spread out and sleep, and just popped next door to their place for meals and hanging out. The two littles slept together on a futon mattress with sleeping bags. It was kind of hilarious because these were the mummy style sleeping bags and the kids loved zipping themselves in it and crawling around on the floor. We called them “blue worm” and “grey worm” throughout the visit. By the end of the week, the 7 year old could crawl into our bed while in a sleeping bag, which I think is kind of impressive.

Our first two days in Berkeley were pretty chill, family days. We picked up my niece from school on Friday then had a quiet evening at home. On the walk to my nieces’ school, I loved seeing how colourful and green all the yards were in Berkeley. It seems as if everyone is some kind of expert gardener. (Or has an expert gardener). My brother and sister-in-law also raise chickens and that was fascinating for me to see. The kids loved going to feed the chickens. It’s so interesting how much more separated garbage is in Berkeley – they have city wide composting in addition to recycling and trash pick up, so that the landfill trash is actually the smallest container. And on top of that that, a large portion of their vegetable scraps is actually saved by my brother and sister-in-law and fed to the chickens. I know there is a cliche about “crunchy-granolda” Berkeley people, but when you see it in action, it does feels pretty ordinary, but also kind of like a foreign country where you don’t know all the rules; it feels like being very intentional about actions, but I felt all week like I was throwing my trash in the wrong place.

The other funny “Berkeley” thing that happened all week centers around this silly game the kids play where they punch each other when they see a Tesla. It’s like the Punch Buggy game, only with Teslas instead of VW Beetles. Well, it’s kind of a fun game at home because we don’t see a huge number of Teslas around, but we quickly realized that in Berkeley, the game is ridiculous because there are soooo many Teslas. We upped the stakes to say that you had to say the colour of the Tesla and read it’s license plate number. And then we also went back to just playing Punch Buggy because there were so few Beetles in Berkeley – I think we saw about ten during the whole week.

Saturday, the two little kids were up around 4am, their bodies not having quite adjusted to the time zone change yet. That was a little challenging, but they are pretty good about not bothering the sleeping parent unless they have to. Later that morning, two of my cousins came over in the morning, and we had a great visit, chatting over bagels and coffee/tea. In the afternoon, my parents arrived- they had driven up from Los Angeles for the week. We went to a park, and to play basketball, and checked out the learning garden at the local middle school and then walked to the library. The weather had been kind of drizzly and kind of rainy and kind of bright and sunny, and on the way home we saw a rainbow!

Sunday was our first big San Francisco adventure. We drove to Richmond, about 15 minutes from Berkeley, and took the Ferry from Richmond to San Francisco. As the Ferry crossed the San Francisco Bay, my brother pointed out all the landmarks- the Oakland skyline, the approaching San Francisco skyline, Mount Tamalpais, Angel Island, Alcatraz, and of course the Golden Gate Bridge.

Golden Gate Bridge, Marin County is on the right.

The Ferry took about 40 minutes (and $4.00, which I consider a great deal!) and dropped us off right in front of the Ferry Building. From there we walked ten minutes to the Exploratorium, which is a huge hands on science museum. It is full of interactive exhibits where people can see science in action. Last month when I took the 7 year old to the art museum he had said, somewhat petulantly, “This is the worst museum ever! There are no screens or buttons!” Well, let me tell you, the Exploratorium more than made up for it. There were exhibits on sound and sight and perceptions, and psychological experiments, and an animation station, and also exhibits on how things worked from the atomic level to large mechanical things. I particularly liked the exhibit on dance and how it showed people (and animals) of all ages and sizes moving rhythmically even though they were never taught how to dance.

This one was about the psychology of kindness, demonstrated by whether or not people would rewind video cassettes given that no one watches them do it.
. Do you remember VIDO CASSETTES???? What a blast of nostalgia.

This was a game where people had to work together to manipulate various elements.

This was in the display on reflection and visual illusions. Human Kaleidoscope.

This one was about the psychology of how what we see or think influences our actions, even if it is illogical. The water is perfectly clean. The four year old thought it was pretty cool to be able to drink from the toilet.

This San Francisco-inspired piece is made entirely of toothpicks. See if you can spot the SF landmarks? In case you can’t read the caption – it took one man 48 years to build this, and he’s still building and adding to it. This was one of my favorite displays.

Because my brother had an Exploratorium membership we got in at 10:30am, before the building opened to the general public at 12noon. This was great because while it was still pretty crowded at 10:30am, it was still pretty manageable. It was kind of overwhelming and the kids zoomed from display to display. I don’t know if they actually thought about the science behind every exhibit, but they sure had fun seeing things work. I was really fascinated by the laboratory where you could see people experimenting and coming up with new exhibits. How fun is that to make a living coming up with science experiments for a museum!

Around 12:30pm, my sister in law and my parents brought us lunch that they had picked up from various stores in the Ferry Building – empanadas, bao, dumplings, manakish. We ate at the picnic tables outside the Exploratorium then went back in for more exploration. By that time it was a complete zoo. I might have lost a child for a couple minutes. The nice thing about having an even kid to adult ratio was that each adult could be responsible for one kid – we could play man to man defense rather than zone. Even still, sometimes my kids are fast and they dart to the next flashing light and button pushing exhibit the moment I blink. Anyhow, we found him not far away, but it was kind of alarming for a while because we were in a particularly dark exhibit.

Around 2:00pm we dragged the reluctant kids out of the Exploratorium because the adults wanted to walk up to Coit Tower. Coit Tower is not as iconic as the Golden Gate Bridge, but it is still a pretty visible San Francisco landmark. To get to Coit Tower we took the Filbert Steps – a 400 some odd staircase path from Embarcadero St. It was certainly a bit of a haul to climb, but as we got higher, we could see some amazing views. Also I find the whole thing fascinating because intersecting the steps are little lanes that lead to residences. I can’t imagine living in a house where the only way to get to the house are these flights of stairs – the logistics of that! Like where do they put their trash? But also because the Filbert Steps is not open to traffic, it’s actually a quiet, almost idyllic slice of San Francisco.

View from Filbert Steps. You can see the Bay Bridge and Treasure Island. The clouds in the Bay Area were amazing all week.

We eventually made it up to Coit Tower and got tickets to climb the 13 stories to the top of the tower where there is a stunning 360 degree view of the city. (Daniel Pink has a video where he says the five things to always do in a foreign city is ride public transportation, go to a grocery store, read a local newspaper, go to McDonald’s, and see the view from the highest point. Of those things, I think the view from above is my favorite. This trip, I didn’t go to McDonald’s but we did go to In-N-Out, and I picked up the UC Berkeley newspaper, so I think I did check all these boxes.)

View from the top of Coit Tower. You can just make out the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance.

The other special thing about Coit Tower is that the walls are lined with murals which were commissioned as part of FDR’s Public Works of Art Program in the 1930s. They are striking in that they depict scenes of ordinary life across a wide spectrum of experiences.

This is my favorite – it’s called Library. I love how the real window is incorporated into the picture.

After enjoying the view, we came back down, all 400 some steps back to Embarcadero street. Our ferry back to Richmond was at 4:30p, so on the way back to the pier, we stopped at the Ferry Building. There were all manner of food vendors there and the bustling activity was fun to see. The Husband got a coffee (charcoal latte, whatever that is – it certainly looked intriguing) from Red Bay Coffee, and I got aguas frescas from Cholita Linda for me and the two kids who were with us. (Again, man to man defense – my brother and sister-in-law were with the other kids). I had a strawberry lime agua frescas, the 12 year old had the lime and the 4 year old had the mango. We actually were looking for boba, but there were – surprisingly – no boba places in the Ferry Building. Nonetheless the aguas frescas were delicious. I think aside from boba tea, agua fresca is my favorite special drink.

Coit Tower from the top of the Filbert Steps.

When the Ferry came, we took the Ferry back to Richmond and headed back to my brother’s place in Berkeley. We had leftovers for dinner while the kids played on screens. We finally let the 12 year old have Roblox and she spent a lot of the trip playing that with her cousin. My mother had brought from Los Angeles zongzi (Taiwanese sticky rice, wrapped in bamboo) and tamales, both homemade – the zongzi by her friend, the tamales by a friend of a lady with whom she works. So we steamed the zonzi and tamales, cut up some vegetables to eat on the side, and called it dinner. (I will say, the carrots and baby tomatoes in Berkeley were amazing!) Zongzi are one of my favorite Taiwanese foods, but I can’t get them in Maryland so it’s always a treat to have them. After dinner, we went back to our apartment and went to bed since we were all still slightly jet-lagged. I think we were all asleep by 9:30pm, which never happens for me. But we were all in the same one bedroom apartment, with the 12 year old sleeping in the common area, so there was really no place for me to sit up with the lights on once the kids were all in bed. All in all, it was a nice first few days in the Bay Area.

Weekly Recap + what we ate: Good-bye February 2024!

Our last weekend in February was delightfully filled by a visit from my high school friend. She arrived on Saturday mid afternoon and was with us until Monday when I drove her to her hotel where she would be staying for her conference. She’s the only friend from high school that I still keep in touch with, and even though we only see each other every couple of years, we always pick up where we left off. She has children a few years older than mine, and she has such a chill approach to parenting that it’s so soothing talking to her about kids and life and how things turn out. She also used to date my brother so there are things that she just gets about me, even when she doesn’t know the details of my life ant any given moment.

Before my friend came in on Saturday, the 12 year old had a voice lesson, and since the voice lesson was closer to the airport than our house, we decided to have a little adventure in the two hours between voice lesson and my friend’s arrival. (The 12 year old had a hang out with a friend, so she didn’t come along). I remembered that the Gardens at Dumbarton Oaks are free during the winter months, and I had always wanted to visit. It was about 15 minutes from where we were, so we drove down to Georgetown, parked our car, stopped for some coffee, and walked down Wisconsin Ave to Dumbarton Oaks.

So funny story – the only reason I know that Dumbarton Oaks exists is because Igor Stravinsky wrote a chamber symphony called Dumbarton Oaks, which was commissioned by Robert and Mildred Bliss, who used to own the estate. The estate is now a research institute, library, museum, and gardens. Ever since I heard the chamber symphony in college, I’ve wanted to visit Dumbarton Oaks. So finally, twenty plus years later, we went. It’s so funny what random bits of information I know because it has a connection to music.

The gardens were quite extensive and there was lots to see, even though it was still pretty dormant. We played our “Find the Rainbow Colors” game. Though we didn’t really find blue because the sky, which is often our default blue, was pretty grey and cloudy. But there were these cool green-ish blue rocks in the pebble garden, so I took a picture of those. And I can never find indigo…

The purple and yellow flowers always remind me of the passage in Braiding Sweetgrass where Robin Wall Kimmerer said she wanted to study botany to know why purple and yellow flowers always look so nice together. Turns out there is a scientific explanation for that – I can’t remember what, to be honest – but it’s always struck me, this idea of wanting to understand beauty.

We wandered the gardens until it was time to go pick up my friend. The rest of the weekend was pretty chill. I loved having a friend visit who didn’t feel the need to be a tourist, so we could hang out and not traipse all over the city. She just tagged along with us on our normal life things and we had great conversations and connections. Looking back, Sunday was a great day – it checked a lot of soul satisfying boxes:
-Connection – hanging out for 48 hours with my friend, including dinner at my favorite hot pot place.
-Exercise – we went skating together while the kids were in lessons. So not super strenuous, but we got our bodies moving for a good two hours.
-Creative – I had to finish my watercolour homework, so in the afternoon, I worked on that while my friend hung out and hemmed her pants. How wonderfully domestic does that sound?
-Outside time – We took the two little kids outside after I was done my homework and watched them while they rode their bikes around the block for an hour. Again, not as active as a hike, but still some quality sunshine and fresh air time.

I think the only box that didn’t get checked was some knocking some big household organization project off my list. But… you can’t do everything and the day overall had a nice leisurely pace. The Husband did do a lot of work in the garden, though, so maybe I can have him check off the “household task” box for us?

March is my last month at a reduced work schedule before I go back into opera mode. I feel like February wasn’t super focused. I was on an 8 hr a week contract at work so I could do some admin and stage management department duties, but I couldn’t get into a good rhythm of when to be at work. I wanted to be available for at least 30-60 mind a day to handle email and tasks, so then the questions became how to spend the other hours a week. I did take the weekends completely off, like didn’t-even-check-email-off, which was really nice. I did periodically have a sense of panic that I was shirking my job responsibilities, but then I had to remind myself that an 8 hour a week contract means I only have to work 8 hours a week. I wasn’t being paid to be constantly available, and there were certainly enough people at work that nothing depended on me alone. I ended up mostly working two three hour days – usually Wednesday and Thursday – and then splitting the other two hours between the other three days, working from home. But even though a three hour day sounds short, it breaks up the entire day in such a way that I felt like unless I was super focused – which I rarely was – I lost a lot of time in commuting and transitioning. I find transitioning between activities is when I loose the most time – it’s when I’m most likely to get distracted, start scrolling and then loose and hour or so. So then little tasks – especially little computer tasks – got dropped because the last thing I wanted to do after being on my computer for 3 hours at the office was to turn on the computer at home and pay the bills and do the kid sign ups, research how to get rid of my car, etc.

This week’s work from watercolor class:
First the homework from last week – the assignment was “sunsets”

Then the lesson was painting poppies. I didn’t love this one – I felt like it was a little un-refined. The lady who sits next to me in class makes such delicate paintings.

Anyhow, February 2024 is now past and we are onto March. I don’t always do a monthly reflection, but I did for February:
February highs:
– Starting water color classes.
-Getting back on my bike.
– Seeing the kids thrive in the activities we had signed them up for. I worried that it was going to be too much, but they truly love what they are doing – except piano, no one really loves to practice, though they say they want to learn to play…
– Hosting Super Bowl Sunday gathering with friends.
– Visit from my high school friend
– joining a women’s Lenten reading group. Having that connection, but also the daily readings, which somehow give me much to ponder even though I’m not Catholic like the others in the group.
-Making baozi. I want more cooking adventures!
-As a family, we made it to a museum, a hike and some gardens in February.
-The wonderful weather. Mostly.
-Watching Galavant with the kids. Only three more episodes to go! What should we watch next???
-The vocal recital that I did titles for. Such a beautiful program, beautifully sung.
-Lunches with the Husband. A good use of my lighter schedule.

February not so highs. (aka lows, but really, life is pretty good, so I don’t feel right calling them “lows” – they’re just life, the tedious, repetitive, papercut stresses of life. Or maybe I need a re-frame. Or more sleep.)
-Tantrums and chore cajoling. Ugh. When will this phase end? Though I ask that and my kids are all at different phases, so…. I guess never? When they move out? Also I realize chore cajoling could also refer to the pep talks I give to myself to stop scrolling and fold the laundry.
-Making little progress on some house chores, losing momentum and focus.
– The first grader and some communication issues with his teacher. Essentially he’s having accidents at school at least once or twice a month, either because his teacher wants him to finish his work first, or the teacher doesn’t realize he’s asking to go. I’m a little stumped by the whole thing. Also frustrated. Also trying to decide if it’s a problem because he doesn’t seem to mind…
-New duties at work that are surprisingly harder than I had thought they would be and not yet knowing how to make things better.
– Not finding/making time to journal and then not remembering or savoring the memories of what I’ve been doing with my days.
-Laundry. So much laundry.

Some aspirations for March:
-TAXES. This is the big one. If I do only one thing in March, it will be to assemble everything for our tax preparer. This is not an aspiration, but a MUST DO!!!!
– Figure out what to do with my car.
-Sort through summer camp sign ups. We registered for some second choice camps, but then first camp choice had slots open up, so I just have to take a minute to look at everything and sort it all out.
-Spring break adventures – getting through them.
-At work – some desk organization. I need to move desks – to the cubicle where the head of the stage management department usually sits, but I’ve been in my desk for over 15 years and I’m partial to it so this is proving psychologically difficult. Kind of like the car. Maybe I don’t need to move desks?
– Organizing a) my sewing corner, and b) the toy room.
– Lunch with my mom’s group.
-maintaining life habits – reading, yoga and exercise, journaling, writing here regularly, making 2 vegan dinners a week.
– sort out my county rec center pass, and actually using it. The County is once again giving all residents free passes to the rec centers this year. I want to get my pass so I can start using the gym and introduce some strength work to my life.
-continuing to find time for lunches with the Husband.
-Listening to more musicals. This is a fun one. I’ve been on a binge lately of those unironic big hearted musicals from the 90s – those musicals that were huge spectacles of stage and emotion. I’m currently obsessed with Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton’s The Scarlet Pimpernel. Up next, I think might be Titanic.
– Going to bed at a decent time. ie. before 11:30pm. Constant struggle.
-make some dentist and doctor appointments.
–maybe get a hair cut. I was realizing as I was writing in my 5 year journal that the last time I got my hair cut was this time last year. What?!?! I think I had a bit of sticker shock last time since my hairdresser had raised his prices. I’ve been with him for over ten years so I don’t know if I have it in me to find a new person. (Like my car and my desk at work….)

Grateful For:
-Sunny, warm weather. There have been some rainy days too, but the weather has been really mild. The hyacinths have come up along our front walk, and when I walk to the front door, their sweet peppery smell reminds me that it is early spring.

-Impulsive playdates and kids who can run free at the park without being watched. The kids had a half day of school on Friday, so I texted the mom of two of the 7 year old’s friends (they’re twins), and asked if they wanted to meet up at a park. They did and she invited two other kids from her bus stop to meet us there. We ended up spending two hours at the park. The kids ran around and did I don’t know what and I got to chat with the other moms. I don’t always find it easy to talk to other parents, but that wasn’t the case this time. We chatted about all sorts of things, and not just our kids, which is always nice.

-My friend at our bus stop who invited me to the Lenten Women’s Group. I think it’s always awkward to invite someone to something new, but especially something that is based in religion. So I’m glad my friend had the courage to ask me to join. It was nice to get out of the house and talk to other moms about their spiritual background and how they try to incorporate it into their lives. I kind of feel like a fraud since I wouldn’t call myself religious – Lent wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. But religion is important to the Husband and two of the three kids are Catholic, so I do want to understand how it makes up the fabric of our life and support that. I also really like thinking about the group readings. The book looks at Lent through the lens of the Seven Deadly Sins. We’ve covered gluttony and lust so far. The readings have made me really think about what it means to have enough and what to do with my energy rather constantly accumulating/wanting more.

-That I don’t have to be in tech. I stopped by the theatre a couple days last week since the show that we’re currently producing, but which I’m not working on, is in tech. I love my job. I love making the magic of theatre and music happen. But once in a while, it’s nice to just sit and watch tech happen and not have the pressure of having to be the one to make it all happen. I find it also good to sit and watch tech from the house sometimes, just to remind myself what it’s like out front. When I’m in tech, I have a headset on and I’m communicating with all the other stage managers and I’m talking to the crew, so I usually know what’s going on. Sometimes, I forget, though, that the people out front don’t necessarily have the same voices in their ear as I do and might not know what is happening backstage. So what to me backstage might seem like a frantic scramble to get, say, a prop ready to come out onstage while the singer onstage waits for it, is, to the people sitting in the house, sometimes… nothing happening. Watching the process without a headset is always a good reminder to make sure that the people without headsets know what is going on. Anyhow, as much as I love my job, I’m grateful that sometimes I don’t have to be part of that stress. (and also jealous because the show is super cute and fun.)

Looking Forward To:
-We booked a trip to Maine/Acadia for this summer. We got a National Parks Pass and I very much want to make sure we use it this year. We’ve had passes the past couple years (including a free one given to all 4th graders when the 12 year old was in 4th grade – it’s a great program!), but I don’t think I use it to it’s full capacity. We go to Great Falls and Shenandoah regularly because those are all close, but I’ve always felt like I want to do more. So this year we are going to Acadia. I’m looking forward to sunsets and hikes and lobster. (I don’t think we’ll be doing sunrise at Cadillac Mountain because of where our airbnb is located, but I think it would have been a hard sell for the kids. Another time…)

-Theatre trips! I have tickets to a couple shows coming up! Yay. The Husband and I are going to see Company, and the dress rehearsal/ Opening night for the next opera (which I’m not working on, so I’ll get to see it! Yay!). And then the local high school is putting on Beauty and the Beast and I think that will be fun to see too. I feel like it’s good to see the professional shows and the high school ones – for a sense of perspective.

-I have a contract for my summer gig and I am SO EXCITED! It’s an opera I worked on six year ago, an opera written in 2017 about the Christmas Eve truce of 1914 during World War I. The opera is just. so. beautiful – in my top 5 opera jobs ever. And it’s very rare one gets to do a contemporary opera more than once, so I’m super thrilled.

-Listening to this audiobook:

I saw this audiobook recommended on the site Five Books, and I really enjoyed Alexis Hall’s book Boyfriend Material, so I thought I’d give this one a try. I’m very much loving it – it’s an amnesia romance novel where the amnesia victim doesn’t really have amnesia. How’s that for flipping a trope on it’s head? Amnesia romances usually aren’t my thing, but this one’s pretty great. And the audiobook is pitch perfect; it’s like an audio version of my favorite British rom com in the vein of Notting Hill or Four Weddings and a Funeral. Fluffy and and warm and hilarious. I’ve laughed out loud so many times.

What We Ate:
Saturday: Chicken Ginger Scallion soup from Deb Perelmans’ Smitten Kitchen Keepers cookbook. This was a super easy soup, and I even make it with frozen chicken, just cooking it a bit longer. Nice pantry type meal. Everyone loved it. We didn’t watch a movie because my friend was visiting, but we did watch and episode of the new season of Bad Batch.

Sunday: We went out to Hot Pot with my friend. Our favorite place with a conveyor belt and a robot that delivers the food for you.

Monday: Chickpeas braised in tomatoes. This was leftover from the week before. I added some water and it was more of a soup than stew, but still tasty. We had it with bread. Vegan.

Tuesday: Beet burgers and tater tots. The beet burgers were this recipe from Post Punk Kitchen. We had beets to use up, so I tried this recipe. The burgers were really tasty, and pretty easy to assemble, though grating the beets did take a while and then because my food processor is small and only does 1.5 cups at a time chopping all the ingredients together took a couple of batches. If you had a bigger capacity food processor then these would be much faster to whip up. I highly recommend this as a veggie burger. The burgers also heat up really well, so I had them for lunches the rest of the week. vegan.

Wednesday: Take out Vietnamese – buns and noodle bowls. We had an afterschool playdate with a friend and her father brought dinner over afterwards. Tasty.

Thursday: Pork and tofu stir fry with udon noodles. The Husband cooked.

Friday: Pizza and Galavant.

(bi)Weekly recap + what we ate: Presidents and Valentines

A crisp clear day and the American Art Museum.

The kids had Monday off for President’s Day, but there were still activities that weekend, so we styed in town and did some in town fun things. Saturday there was snow and the 12 year old’s basketball game ended up cancelled. Since the morning opened up, we decided to take the Metro downtown to a museum. We chose the American Art Museum because there was an orchid exhibit in its courtyard. We got down there are 11:00am, only to find that the museum didn’t open until 11:30am. So we decided to go to the library, which was across the street.

The library was recently renovated and the new children’s section is huge. And there is a whole separate teen section which the 12 year old went to explore on her own. The children’s section has lots of tables and chairs and cozy nooks for kids to curl up and read and a huge section of picture books in different languages. There is also a slide from the 2nd floor, where the children’s section is to the floor below. What a fun idea.

After the library we went to pizza at Ella’s and then headed to the American Art Museum. The Kogod Courtyard is one of my favorite places in DC – it is a bright and sunny oasis in the city, and usually quiet and peaceful. However, this day they were having a Family Day to honor President’s Day, so it was decidedly not quiet or peaceful. There were lots of crafts and activities, and at one point there was a Fife and Drum corps from a school in Virginia. The kids ended up making stovepipe hats at a booth sponsored by the Abraham Lincoln Cottage (one of my favorite museums in DC, by the way. Though it is out of the way and you have to pay to go, so I’ve only been a few times. But if I have to recommend a museum for people who have exhausted the Smithsonian, I always recommend visiting this one and the Frederick Douglass House in tandem.) And there was some dressing up, and a collage activity. Though by the time we got to the collage activity, the only president left was Andrew Garfield or Chester Arthur or some such.

Orchid sculpture. There were real orchids too, but the place was so crowded it was hard to get good pictures.

We did wander through the galleries afterwards. We took in the gallery of “Self Taught Art”, or what the museum calls Folk Art. I like these galleries a lot, seeing things that people create just for the joy of creating, not because they are artists and it pays the bills – ordinary things like quilts and lawn ornaments. I always like looking at this work, which is mostly made of cardboard and tin foil.

The whole exhibit inspires me to make time for creativity in life.

All in all, not the museum visit I had expected, but still a nice outing.

Sunday we had Agility class for the four year old, church for the older two kids and then we went to the Dumpling House for a birthday lunch for one of my best friends. We ordered soooooo much food – dumplings and sauteed greens and noodles and cucumber salad and and garlic eggplant…. I think something got lost in translation and we also had a fried sweet potato dish (Snowfield sweet potato) that was almost like dessert – sweet potato, coated in crunchy rice stick and fried so that the outside was crispy and the inside soft and molten. So good! We always order the same thing when we go to the dumpling house, so it’s fun when something new shows up.

Monday we decided to go on a hike – we hiked from Great Falls north to Riverbend Park, about 5 miles round trip. This is farther north from the spectacular falls of Great Falls, but it’s a gentler hike with beautiful views of the Potomac. The kids have a game they play when we go hiking, called “Rock Kingdom” it involves each child claiming a rock to sit on and the oldest one calling for Rock Kingdom Counsels and then they gather and make plans on how to run their kingdoms. It’s super cute. I’m sure the 12 year old doesn’t always want to play with her younger siblings, so I really treasure these moments when she fully engages with them and leads them in such imaginative play.

Art Class: The past two art classes were spent on clouds and sunsets. Clouds are fun – one of the techniques we learned was to paint the sky then, using a paper towel, lift away the colour to make clouds. I thought that technique was pretty high impact for very low effort. Also, the teacher had us make clouds of all colours and even since I’ve found myself looking at clouds and realizing how many colours they contain. They aren’t just white. Even still, I think my efforts at clouds came out much too grey. Also I’m having difficulties blending my colours. Getting the orange/yellow of the sunset to blend up into the blue of the sky without turning green is tricky.

First effort on top. Second on bottom. Hopefully there’s improvement.

This is my in class effort of sunsets, though I think they look more like moon rises.

This is my homework sunsets. The pink and blue sunset on the bottom left of the quartet was kind a disaster. Then the next morning I woke up and looked a the pictures without my glasses on and it looked so much better and suddenly I could see what was wrong with it – I hadn’t allowed the paint to blend from pink to blue slowly. So I thought I’d give that one a second try.

Also – the pictures look muuuuuch better from farther away.

One other thing I realized when doing the homework that one trick to making things look brighter is to also have darker things in the picture to create contrast, which was what I was trying to do with the picture on the bottom right.

I think watercolor is interesting because it seems quite easy in principal to create something beautiful. Just a simple wash of colour can be so elegant. But once you get past the easy stuff, the really detailed work requires a lot of care.

Valentine’s Day – I’m not a huge Valentine’s Day person, so the big win this year was that the Husband ordered the valentines for the kids. I didn’t even have to say anything about it to him. Awesome. I did spend an hour cutting up fruit for the 7 year old’s class party, only to see an email the day of that said the school was banning all consumption of food in the classrooms for Valentines Day. Apparently there was an allergy incident in another classroom the last time there was a class party. Which I respect that decision – I just wished I had realized that before I peeled an entire Costco bag of mandarin oranges. I apparently am not the most diligent reader of school communication. wump wump. I did go volunteer in the 7 year old’s class for the party. I’m always impressed by the level of French in his classroom. I know it’s an immersion program, so that is in the point, but to see seven and eight year olds who a year and a half years ago didn’t know any French, communicate with each other in full sentences is really amazing. Also – Teachers are heroes to spend all day with our kids.

The Best Morning This Week. So I wake up on morning from sleeping on the futon in the kids’ room because the 12 year old and I had a COVID exposure, so she and I are sleeping in one room for the week while the Husband and the other two kids sleep in our room. The 12 year old desperately wants to be sick to stay home from school, so while I’m downstairs making breakfast, she tries to doctor her COVID test with a red pen. I am simultaneously impressed by her gumption, but also trying hard not to laugh at how inept she is being at faking a positive COVID test. It was pretty bad. So I send her to school. Then move on with my morning.

At 8:15 – 30 minutes before we have to go to school, the seven year old tells me his Black History Month project is due that day. (Which, if I bothered to turn on the notifications in the class Slack channel I would realize because the panic I felt was reflected in the many messages from other parents about this project. Only those panicked messages were sent two days ago…). I originally go all “strict mom” and tell him, “Tough hooey, you can tell your teacher that you forgot to do it.” But then there were tears and I’m a softie, so ten minutes before we leave for the bus, he’s is drawing Louis Armstrong and taping it to an old can, which I had to pull out of the recycling on the curb – thank goodness it hadn’t been collected yet.

“What does a trumpet look like?” he asks me. And I open the page from Picturepedia of musical instruments and try to talk him through how to draw a trumpet with all its valves and what nots. Meanwhile the “school bus” alarm is going off. And I finally just say, “F*** that. Just draw a cornet.”

So the follow up to last week’s laments on how I have no morning routine – this is exactly why there is no routine.

At any rate – yes, the 12 year old and I had a COVID exposure. It’s been kind of fascinating, and perhaps a little bit triggering, to pull the masks out again and swabbing our noses every morning to do the COVID tests, and to worry about whom we are spending time with. We personally haven’t had a brush with COVID in probably more than two years, and at first I was very self conscious about having to mask again. But then I realized that even though we aren’t masking all the time as we once were, it has become a very normal thing to do. And it’s the kind and prudent thing to do. So there we go.

Things I learned from This Week’s Crossword Puzzle: The playlist edition.
This week’s crossword puzzle discoveries were all musicians whom I had never heard of. So I made myself a little playlist of their music one evening:
– Tegan and Sara – (“Everything is Awesome” singers ___ and Sara) Okay, had heard that song, but didn’t know the group. Peppy, pop sound.
– Angie Stone – (Stone with the R&B album “The Art of Love & War”)
–Say It Ain’t So – (“___ It Ain’t So” Weezer Song). I knew Weezer was a band, one that was pretty popular when I was growing up. Could not name any of their songs to save my life.
–Ella Mai (“Boo’d Up” Singer). British R&B Artist. New to me. Actually R&B is a whole genre of music that I’m woefully ignorant on.

Watching:
Nai Nai and Wai Po. This short documentary film by Taiwanese American filmmaker Sean Wang was nominated for an Oscar. It documents the every day life of his two grandmothers. One is 94 and one is 83 and they have been roommates for years and live life with such a joyful pragmatism – they make music, they make dinner, they arm wrestle, the argue about farting, they talk about life and living a long one. From the first moment of the film, I recognized my own grandparents and my own parents, even. In less than twenty minutes, this little film made me laugh, cry, and feel seen and understand what it’s like to contemplate humanity with the perspective of nine decades.

Incidentally, there are two documentary shorts by Taiwanese Americans nominated for Oscars this year. That feels pretty special to me. The other one is about the Taiwanese Island of Kimen which is just off the coast of China. I guess now I can say I’ve watched at least two of the Oscar nominated films this year.

Watching, and a Rant:
Hallmark Binge Pass- I’ve discovered that with my Library card, I can get a Hallmark Binge Pass via Hoopla, which gives me access to a huge collection of Hallmark movies and tv shows – cue up the fluffy, heartwarming entertainment. It’s been perfect accompaniment as I wash dishes late at night or work on my painting homework. So far I’ve watched An American in Austen, a movie about a modern day librarian who finds herself living in Pride and Prejudice. The movie was cute, and as an ardent Darcy fangirl, it was hilarious to see their take on Darcy as an unbearably pushy and kind of annoying person. I’ve also watched a bunch of holiday movies because…. the heart wants what the heart want, right? Okay, but here is one huge vent though- I usually watch things with the subtitles on and I was watching a movie called Make Me A Match, a movie about ambitious Vivi, who works for a dating app. She meets an Indian matchmaker and strikes a deal with the matchmaker to learn about her methods so that she can distill the matchmaker’s success down into something she can use to improve her app. The matchmaker’s son Boom is tasked with helping Vivi. Predictable sparks fly… It’s a lovely movie and you know me, representation is my catnip, so I was really enjoying this one. Except, we get to the end of the movie when Vivi and Boom get married in a huge Indian wedding ceremony and when the officiant begins the wedding ceremony, the titles just say, “Chanting in foreign language.” Come on, Hallmark! You can do better. Tell us what language the guy is chanting in! Also… during the party afterwards, there are subtitles for the songs in English, but the songs in Hindi just say, “Singing in foreign language.” Why does the song in English get its words captioned and not the one in Hindi? If it even is in Hindi – I’m going to be honest, I’m pretty ignorant about Indian languages, which is why it would have been cool if the subtitles had told me what language it was and what was being said. I don’t know – maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but there are huge swaths of the population for whom this isn’t a “foreign” language and I kind of resent it being labelled as “foreign.” This is not how we normalize non-English languages and cultures, folks. AmI expecting too much of a Hallmark movie? I mean the whole thing might have been captioned by an AI bot for all I know. But in which case, surely the AI bot can figure it out without labelling something “foreign.” “Foreign” is relative.

Grateful For:
– COVID tests and masks. I’m glad we had a supply of masks and tests to use when we had our COVID exposure. It’s funny how the bin of tests in our linen closet that seemed like a lot, quickly can be used up. Luckily our library is still handing out free COVID tests, so I can stock up next time I go. Also grateful that we didn’t actually get COVID. Also grateful that we are no longer in the Spring of 2020.

-For the vocal recital that I got to do the supertitles for. A beautiful evening of music, plus getting to hear Barber’s Knoxville: Summer of 1915 performed live. It is usually performed with an orchestra; hearing it with just piano accompaniment really brought out the jazzy influences in the music – the piece had a certain swing that isn’t always apparent with orchestral versions.

-Museums and libraries and National Parks. Things I don’t begrudge my tax dollars at work for.

-Making it up the hills on my bike. And lower gears. Every time I brush my bike off after a pause, even of a week or two, I am a little defeated by the hills between home and work. This time was no different. However, by my second day of bike commuting, I could make it up those hills. I just put the bike in a lower gear and keep my head down and keep pedaling. I’ve also discovered that it helps to sit a little more upright in my seat when I go up hills. I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation for that.

Looking forward to:
– A visit from a high school friend. One of the nice things about living in DC is that every so often people come here for work and I get to see them! This friend is the only friend from high school that I still keep in touch with. Her parents, like mine, are from Taiwan, and we’ve always bonded over that. (This happened! this is what I get for being so slow to post. anyhow, it was a lovely visit – more later!)

– A cherimoya! My abovementioned friend brought some fruit from California among which was a cherimoya. My late grandmother loved cherimoyas and I always think of her when I have one. There are not very prevalent here – once in a while I’ll see them at HMart – so this was a nice treat and I’m looking forward to eating the last one. For those who haven’t had a cherimoya, it’s a fruit with a very soft inside that kind of tastes like banana-pear custard.

-Peak Bloom! Peak bloom forecasts are being released this week – I wait with eager anticipation. There are a few of the early blooming trees that can already be seen around town, a riot of pink.

– Lenten reading group. A friend invited me to join a Lenten reading group – we read a book that has a reading and reflection for each day of Lent, and then come together three times to discuss it. I’m not Catholic, so the invitation to join gave me pause, but I do like contemplating life and reflecting on my life choices, so I thought this group might be a nice social/spiritual activity.

-Cooking from these two cookbooks, which I picked up from the library:

What We Ate:

Monday: Crispy coconut rice. This recipe. Basically you crumble tofu into cooked rice, add curry paste and other spices and then fry it in a cast iron skillet until the bottom gets crispy. Wrap in lettuce leaf and top with mint to eat. Tasty and very flavorful and also comes together very quickly. The two little kids didn’t care for it as much, but I think it’s because it’s kind of a new concept. I would make it again – a great use for leftover rice. Vegan.

Tuesday: Sweet Potato and Black Bean Tacos. Roast diced sweet potato in a pan and then mix with black beans. We eat it with the leftover guacamole from SuperBowl Sunday. Quick and easy meal. Vegan.

Wednesday: Instant Pot Braised Chickpeas with Tomatoes. Since I was working this evening and we had an excess of dried chickpeas to use up, I was looking for an InstantPot chickpea recipe. The best part of this is the tahini swirl that you add at the end. Vegan.

Thursday: Pasta and meatballs. I had made and frozen meatballs in tomato sauce last December, so I pulled those out and we ate them with pasts. Thank you to past me for freezing meatballs.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Galavant. I might have fallen asleep.

Saturday: Pizza (The Husband made) and Moana. I hadn’t seen Moana before despite making the middle child a Hey Hey costume for Halloween when when he was two. The kids, have seen it several times and love it. It is indeed a great movie.

Sunday: We didn’t actually have dinner this day. We were so full from dumplings and noodles at my friend’s birthday lunch that we just kind of weren’t hungry the rest of the day. There might have been popcorn or fruit or ample snacking.

Monday: Lentil Soup and flatbread. I’m trying to incorporate more lentils in our life because they are cheap and healthy and not terrible for the environment. I can’t for the life of me remember what lentil soup recipe I made, but I’m pretty sure I made this in the Instant Pot. To go along with it, I made this yogurt flatbread recipe from Smitten Kitchen.

Tuesday: Celery Cashew with Five Spice Tofu. We got two bunches of celery in our produce box. We aren’t huge celery people – usually it goes in soups or we eat it with peanut butter. So I thought I’d try this recipe that would put the celery front and center, though I didn’t have 5 spice tofu, so I pressed extra firm tofu, dusted it with 5 spice powder and then pan fried it. I thought it was pretty good for being a dish based around celery. Vegan.

Wednesday: Egg Sandwiches on bagels. Sometimes on Wednesdays when the kids have early piano lessons, I will pick up some bagels for breakfast, and then also enough extras so that we can have breakfast sandwiches for dinner. One of our easy go to quick dinners.

Thursday: Meatball subs. We had some frozen meatballs from the store to use up.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Galavant. We re-watched one of the episodes from last week since I had fallen asleep. We have a nice Friday night routine now- after basketball practice for the 12 year old, they come home with pizza. We watch two episodes of Galavant while eating pizza. The kids go upstairs and get into pjs and brush their teeth, without help from a parent (that’s key), and the can come down and watch one more episode. Not sure what we are going to watch when we are done with Galavant – there are only two seasons and we’re halfway through the second. Any recommendations?

Well, I just realized that March is bearing down around the corner! Wow. But we do get a bonus February day tomorrow – that is always a fun thought, even though in theory it is just another day.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Snow, snow, snow, and show!

This past week was pretty mild, but what a snowy, snowy week we hadthe week previous! I have to say, after having absolutely no snow last year, it was a bit of a shock to have so much snow last week. Of course, still not as much snow as in other parts of the country, but certainly what qualifies for a lot of snow here – maybe 3-5 inches.

The quick version:
-Monday was MLK Day, so no school for the kids. I did have to work, so the Husband was home with them.
-Tuesday: Snow Day!!! Schools were closed, and the building where we rehearsed was on a delay. Also, annoyingly, County summer camp sign ups opened at 6:30a am. So at 8am, I was on the phone with work re-scheduling rehearsal while at the same time on my computer trying to register the six year old for summer camp slots. The Husband worked from home.
-Wednesday: another snow day! Although the 4 year old’s preschool was open. Let me tell you – she loves it when she’s the only one who gets to go to school. Again, the Husband worked from home.
-Thursday: Everyone got to go to school. HOOORAY!!!!
-Friday: Snow day! Again. I had to be in at work around 2pm, so I took the morning shift with the kids and the Husband went in to work. He came home around 12:30pm.

So yup – a grand total of ONE day in school for the older two kids.

In amongst all this – I opened a show and closed a show. I would say I also teched a show, but the process was so quick, I would barely count it as “tech” – just one day of rehearsal onstage. The show was a program of three newly commissioned 20 minute operas. It’s something we do every year and I love participating. There is such excitement about presenting premieres of new works written by young composers and librettist. One piece in particular was so quirky and fun – it takes place in a world after humans are extinct and the characters are microplastics and a tardigrade. I had to google tardigrade and now I feel that much smarter for knowing what a tardigrade is. (If you, like me, didn’t know, it’s a small microscopic creature that can live in extreme conditions and survive anything. They look like little bears. Apparently there’s an Aquanots episode about them.)

So putting up a show combined with a snow week was kind of … a lot. But at least I got to go to work. The Husband’s three day weekend stretched into a five day weekend, and he should get a medal for being home with the kids for all that time.

Things that worked this tech period:
– prioritizing life and work things. I didn’t have an assistant for this show, so I had to really focus on what was important to getting the show up. There was one moment in particular that stood out for me when I declined a meeting invite. It was just a 20-30 minute meeting, and normally I would think, “It’s thirty minutes, I can squeeze that in.” But I decided that, no, actually I’m stage managing a show without an assistant – I need those 20-30 minutes for myself or I won’t get my paperwork done and I will be stressed out – the meeting can wait. It was a bit of a lightbulb for me, to be honest – to be able to say, “That isn’t a good time for me, can we re-schedule?” I have no bones declining meeting when I have to be somewhere else – ie. “I’m only available until 3:30p because I need to pick up the kids.” But somehow, saying, “I can’t do that because I need to finish my paperwork” I don’t know – that had never occurred to me.
– Not worrying about things being pretty. Look, like most stage managers, I love nice paperwork – I love charts and diagrams and running times all lined up. But you know, ultimately getting the information out correctly is the most important thing. So yeah, there was some paperwork that had a mistake and I decided that I’m just going to correct that with a Sharpie rather than try to open the document on my computer and change it. Why waste the paper or my time?
-Packing food, particularly leftovers. I always pack food, but it’s especially helpful because this theatre is farther away from the staff canteen than the other theatre I worked at. I think three out of four days last week, I had leftovers in a tortilla for dinner. Perfect thing to eat efficiently.
-Four Color Frixion Pen. Frixion Pens are one of the best new inventions for stage mangers. Well, at least this stage manager. My favorite is a four colour Frixion pen in black, green, red, and blue. All those colours in one barrel so I can colour code cues in my book without having to pull out another pen. And also the ability to erase cues when things change. Amazing.
-Riding to work with my work bestie. When I’m in tech, my social life suffers and I miss seeing friends. Which is why I love that one of my good friend works with me and we get to ride to work together and talk about life and work and all the things at Trader Joe’s that I miss buying.
– Realizing I’m the stage manager. I have always been more of a self-effacing type of stage manager. It’s not necessarily a good thing. But twice last week, people have said to me, “You get to decide; you’re the stage manager.” Whoa what??? Right. I get to tell people that I want them at a meeting. And, this was the big moment – I get to decide that it’s okay that I wore my snow boots all day because if it’s between taking the time to change into my black shoes and not getting that one last thing done, versus just keeping the damn snow boots on but getting the thing done – I’m going to keep my snow boots on. And the world didn’t end. I mean I don’t think it’s an open invitation to be cavalier and dress unprofessionally, but … in the scheme of things – it’s okay to keep the snow boots on.
-Taking time to go sledding. Last year I bought a sled. Then it didn’t snow. Bummer. So I was very determined to take the kids sledding this year when the snow hit. You know, if it was a choice between taking the kids sledding and making the paperwork pretty – I chose sledding. On Tuesday, I told the kids that if they wanted to go sledding, we had to leave the house by 9:30am and we managed to do it. We drove to the local elementary school where there is a nice hill and went sledding for 45 minutes.
(Funny side note story -while sledding, we ran into a kid that the 12 year old knows from school, and he said snow days at after care were the best – the aftercare company was still providing care that day because the buildings were still open – because you got to play dominos and then after lunch, the after care folks would take all the kids to the hill and give them each a pizza box to go sledding. Doesn’t that just sound like the height of childhood memories?)

So we only have one sled – the other thing is a plastic tub that we use as a water table during the summer. It works great!

Then on Friday, the same thing. I told the kids that if they wanted to go sledding, I would take them, but we had to be ready to go by 9:30am, and again, they were! And honestly, I would have been really disappointed if we hadn’t gone. This time, we also took our neighbor’s kid with us. (I firmly believe in being a village and if I don’t have to be at work until 2pm then why not take an extra kid with us so her parent can have a few hours to work? Plus the kids always love having other kids around and they other family takes our kids sometimes in the evenings too.) I took a few runs down this hill this time in the sled which was really fun, and I thought ahead and brought a Thermos of hot chocolate with us, a lovely treat once we got done sledding.

Looking back on that list, what struck me is that a lot of what made the week go well on my end is that I made very mindful choices about what was important to keeping me going and everything else could be subpar or just dropped. There is a culture in stage management (and theatre, and really, I’m sure a lot of other industries) of pushing yourself and letting work drain every last drop that you have to give. It doesn’t need to be that way. I need to do things in a way that leave me mental margin, so that when the important things come up, I have the bandwidth to deal with that. Even things like taking my kids sledding – being able to step out of the job and concentrate on, “What can I do to make memories with my kids?” – it puts me in a better mood at work because I know that if nothing else, we had 45 minutes of joy that morning. I feel more like there is a bit more balance to me. It relieves a bit of the mental load of wondering if my kids’ are having a good day and the guilt of not being home at bedtime – because you know what? They at least had a good morning and I feel like there’s a bit o (I do still have a lot of guilt and struggle over the fact that the Husband does 95% of the parenting when I’m working and I know it’s a lot to put on his plate… I need to work on how to achieve balance when there is no balance.)

Hopefully writing those “things that worked” will help me remember them next time I’m in tech. Which won’t be until May. That’s a little wild for me to realize that I don’t have a show to work on for a long stretch.

Fun Family Activity – We went to a concert by Elena Moon Park. Park is a musician who reimagines folk songs and children’s songs from around the world, mostly from East Asia – yay Asian representation! I had heard her at an outdoor concert two years ago and I really loved her music so when I had a chance to hear her again, I was really excited to hear her again and take the kids. During the concert, the kids were kind of clingy and they didn’t participate in any of the clapping games or hand gesture-y parts, and I was worried that they weren’t liking it. But afterwards, they were singing bits of the concert, so I guess they did enjoy it after all.

Other nice things this week:
-The six year old reading Dogman to his little sister.

– Dropping the 12 year old and her friend at voice lessons and then going for a walk and re-discovering the Glass Forest. The Glass Forest is a really neat little bit of forest where someone has hung bits of glass and metal and what not from the trees to make a series of sculptures. When you walk through it, the wind knocks the metal and glass together and it’s like walking in a windchime. It’s a little creepy, a little magical. I was on a walk while the 12 year old was at her voice lesson and I happened upon the Glass Forest. I had come here years ago, on some kind of mission to find hidden gems of DC. This definitely fit the bill of “hidden gems” but I had forgotten about it in the years since, so it was a nice surprise to find it again.

-Okay, I feel super pretentious recounting this, but it was such a sweet moment – after sledding on Friday, as we were enjoying our hot chocolate and taking in the snowy views, the six year old says, “Mommy, it looks like a Robert Frost poem!” Lest you think the six year old is some kind of genius budding English scholar – he knows exactly one Robert Frost poem. We have an illustrated version of “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” – and the cover did indeed look like the scene before us:

-And this made me laugh – The Husband and I stayed up late to watch the football game one night. And the 12 year old tried to convince us to let her stay up too. The reason? it was not because she was a huge footballs fan. No – it was the Kansas City game and she wanted to see if she could catch a glimpse of Taylor Swift. We sent her to bed, though I did take a picture of the tv when they showed Swift during one moment.

Current woes – Homework. The first grader has started coming home with homework and he is very reluctant to do it. I alternate between threatening/pleading/cajoling/bribing/etc. him to do it, and just saying “F*ck it! It’s first grade. If he doesn’t want to do it, why should I spend energy getting him to do it?” Then I have a tiny panic spiral about how I’m not setting him up for success and I go back to threatening/pleading/cajoling/bribing/etc. This is not where I want to spend my energy. So truth – it usually only gets done 50% of the time.

I’ve grown very hands off with the 12 year old’s homework. This is not some bold parenting choice. This is just lack of energy. At any rate, she has told me that many of her teachers don’t believe in homework (Great! They should meet the 1st grader’s teacher!). So it is entirely possible that she doesn’t have any homework. I for sure only very rarely see her do homework, and her grades keep coming back solidly average, so I guess she is doing what she is supposed to be doing, whether or not it is homework. As someone whose parents were very involved in my academic progress, I’m feeling a little bit like I ought to care a little bit more.

Grateful For:
-The Husband having the flexibility to handle all the snow days.

-All the super talented people I work with. I know I say this every time, but I work with amazingly competent and supportive people. Everyone knew that I was working without an assistant and there were so many offers of, “What can I do for you?” I guess this is another thing that made last week good – when people offered to help, I let them. I let someone else check the sign in sheets, I let someone else buy me a Coke to get through one long day. I let someone else start rehearsal when I couldn’t make it quite in time after dropping the 4 year old at school following a delayed opening. There is no room to be a martyr here and I’m glad I don’t have to be.

-How beautiful everything looks blanketed in snow. I know living in snowy weather is not always easy or ideal, but it sure is pretty, and I always feel lucky that I get to see it. There is nothing like being cozy inside with a cup of hot tea (or cocoa) while watching the world being buried in snow and silence.

-And also -grateful for snow plows and snow shovels so I can get safely to work. And an all wheel drive vehicle.

-The twelve year old’s friends for coming to celebrate her birthday. We had six kids over to belatedly celebrate the twelve year old’s birthday, with three of them spending the night. The next morning we had waffles and bacon and fruit and then a group of them went to see the new Mean Girls movie. It was a pretty hands off affair for us. We helped them make pizzas, then gave them the run of the basement. I did go downstairs and turn off the tv at 12:30am to a bit of minor protesting. Afterwards, the twelve year old said to me, “Thanks for turning the tv off. I’m really tired and I would be even more tired if you had let me stay up all night.” Wow. That’s a nice bit of self awareness there. Anyhow, I’m glad that her friends came over and that she had a good birthday party.

Looking Forward To:
-I signed up for a slot at Career Day at the 12 year old’s school. I went back and forth on whether or not to sign up – I think I have a pretty fun job, but it’s also a very seasonal job (for me – there are people who do this full time), and I don’t know if non-full time employment is really what Career Day is about? Oh well. I’m nervous – what am I going to talk about for thirty minutes??? But it’s good to do new things, particularly things that scare you a little bit.

-Lighter work load and time to focus on house things. The two big projects are to figure out what to do about my car and moving forward with getting window treatments for the living room. Both projects carry a lot of mental and emotional stress. There’s also little projects like cleaning out the pantry and linen closet. And I really want to label the spice jars on our spice rack. Who knows if I will get that all done, but good to have aspirations.

-Listening to more of this audiobook – narrated by Julia Whelan. Julia Whelan is an amazing audiobook narrator. This book itself has some questionable plot holes and devices that normally would not appeal to me, but Whelan does such a great job that I’ve been sucked in. I can’t tell whether I would like this book if I read it vs. listened to the audiobook.

What We Ate:
Saturday: Parmesan Mint Pasta. The Husband cooked because I was at work. The kids had requested mac and cheese (from the box), and the Husband said this looked more interesting and made it instead. Surprisingly tasty even though it was cold when I ate it after getting home from work.

Sunday: Scavenge. Sundays we usually try to eat down the fridge. I think there was frozen tortellini with red sauce for the kids. Not for dinner, but at lunch I had salt and vinegar stir fried potatoes, to which I added julienned golden beets. A friend had given me a bag of beets from her produce box because she didn’t like beets, so I was looking for ways to eat them. I actually ate some of them raw too – the beauty of golden beets is that they don’t stain your hands deep purple-red.

Monday: Funny story. Before I left for work, I told the Husband that there was tofu in the fridge and he should use it up. Later that day, he texted me asking if the tofu was in a red lidded container. I said, no the tofu is shrink wrapped, still in it’s own packaging.
<I put that in the dinner. > he replied. <It melted.>
Then, I realized what was in that red container.
<That was feta> I texted him.
<Lol!> he writes back. <It is still feta. L said hmmmm that’s smooth, dad!>
So I guess for Monday, they had kung pao feta for dinner. With noodles.

Tuesday: Tofu stir fry. For reals this time.

Wednesday: I made vegan gnocchi soup, a recipe that I’ve made many times because the family loves it. I actually made all of it before I went to work, except the gnocchi and coconut milk – the Husband added that before he served it.

Thursday: I’m not sure what the family had for dinner. I had a ktichen sink sandwich – pickles, hard boiled eggs, cucumbers, avocados, mustard. It was quite messy to eat and now that I think of it – I could have just mashed all that into egg salad and it would have been less messy.

Friday: I had leftover curry eaten in a tortilla wrap at work. The family had waffles.

Saturday: Pizza, make your own as this was the sleepover night. And there was lots of soda and chips involved. But also carrots, cucumbers, and apple slices.

Sunday: Again – scavenge for dinner. The kids had hard boiled eggs and half and avocado each. I’m sure there were other veggies and fruits in there too. I had kimchi friend rice and golden beets pan fried on the griddle. I feel like this is my go to Sunday scavenge dinner – kimchi fried rice and whatever other veggies are in the fridge.

Christmas 2023 + the rest of December

Happy New Year!

Here we are in a brand new year. I wrote a check for the kids’ piano lessons this morning, and wrote 2024 for the first time. It always seems special writing that first check of the year, and remembering to write in the right year.

Everyone is back in school and back at work (except me – I go back to work at the end of the week), and I feel like I finally have time and room and capacity to think and be and not just do. The Husband had a therapist once who always reminded him that we are human beings not human doings. There has been a lot of doing these past few weeks. Five people at home on vacation makes for a lot of meals and dishes and laundry and picking up, I’m finding. And the pockets of time I did find, I just felt so scattered – I couldn’t sustain concentrate on things like writing here or reading books for more than a page at a time. So there was some aimless drifting and puttering and a lot of Hallmark movies. And baking and cooking – making food always seems like a nice activity to pull me out of being idle, yet not being too mentally taxing. And scrolling. And random internet surfing. It seems like whenever I sat down to write, I’d get distracted by some internet errand – holiday gifts still to research and procure, plans to make, other people’s news… All in all I’ve been feeling a kind of mental malaise and not quite sure how to kick it. So I’m just going to start with the run down of how the rest of December and our holiday went.

Fun and Festive Things, Pre-Christmas:
Our first Snow delay! This was mid December – There was a smattering of snow on the ground and we woke up to a two hour delay at school. The 4 year old and the 6 year old wanted to play in the scant snow, so I bundled them up and sent them in the backyard where they played for about an hour or so. Of course the snow was gone by the afternoon – it seemed hardly worth a two hour delay, but it was nice to have a change up to the routine.

Tuba Christmas! I feel like we didn’t do our usual full slate of holiday activities this year, but even so Tuba Christmas is a must for us. We go every year. It is pretty much the same concert every year – hundreds of tuba (and euphoniums and baritones), playing Christmas carols, audience sing a long, “Santa Wants a Tuba for Christmas”, the kids going up onstage to sing “Jingle Bells”. Even the patter between songs is always the same. This year, hilariously, the MC gave the wrong introduction to one carol. Which made us laugh and laugh because it’s been the same MC for as long as I can remember. It was an excellent lesson in making a mistake in front of a thousand people and being able to laugh at oneself.

Celebrating our anniversary. The Husband and I celebrated our anniversary by taking the train into DC to have dinner at the restaurant where we had our wedding dinner. On the way down, we stopped by Union Station where our friend’s string quartet was playing holiday music. It was a fun mix of seasonal tunes and pop hits. She later told me that at one point they noticed that no one was stopping to listen, so she suggested they start playing Beetles and Taylor Swift. And the crowds started gathering. I guess there is something about playing Christmas songs in December that people take for granted, but a string quartet playing Love Story – well that’s special.
After listening to our friend play, we walked to the restaurant and enjoyed much to much indulgent food. And… when the waiter found out that it was our anniversary and that we had had our wedding dinner at that restaurant, he comped up our dessert. What a nice surprise! We finished up the evening by walking through the holiday market – enjoying the cold and the holiday crafts and lights before we got on the train and went home.

We made and decorated cookies. I wasn’t really feeling this, but I rallied and decided to just make two kinds of cookies – sugar cookies for decorating and molasses cookies because those are my favorite. The kids really wanted to decorate cookies and were asking, so I’m glad I managed to do this. I used the leftover royal icing mix from the 4 year old’s birthday which helps simplify the process a lot. I tried a new sugar cookie recipe and it wasn’t great – the cookies ended up spreading too much when they baked and were rather shapeless. I’ll have to research a try a different recipe next year.

Not seeing Christmas Lights. We did not go to any of the many option for seeing Christmas lights, but we did take a a walk after dinner one night and looked at the lights in our neighborhood. There is one house that goes all out for Christmas that is always fun to see.

Work Things – I’m off work until January 4th. Since closing my last show, I worked two vocal recitals (one as stage manager, one doing the super titles). After a fall of opera, a voice recital is a nice balm on my work soul. No chorus of thousands to wrangle, no sets, no costumes, no props. Just a singer, a pianist, and some really great music.

Not so Festive Things:
-Life. Life. Life. Between two kids, I spent six hours at the dentist in the past two weeks. They now have enough crowns between the two of them for a small monarchy. Sigh. At least I got some reading done and they got to watch TV. The dentist has tvs on the ceiling. The four year old watched two straight hours of Bluey while the dentist worked on her teeth.
-General holiday shopping fatigue. I feel this every year. I need to find a less stressful/tiring method of Christmas shopping.

Christmas Day: We had a quiet Christmas at home. I think that is how everyone prefers it, especially the 11 year old. Whenever we float the idea of travelling for Christmas, she is always vehemently opposed. And I get it – there is something nice about waking up in one’s own bed, with the Christmas tree.

Christmas even my mother arrived. We went for a walk at the Botantical Gardens becuase they have a train display, but whe we got there, we found that it was closed because – either because it was Chrstmas Eve or because it was Sunday, not sure which. We spent an hour wandering around anyway, just enjoying the bare beauty of the garden in winter. Then we went home, and got ready for Church. Our Church was having a living Nativity for the first time, so we went a little early to see that. There were donkeys and oxen and a little tiny baby, all bundled up in the manger. Our church has a children’s procession on Christmas Eve, where all the children lead the opening procession, and it was really sweet to see the four year old walking with her hands in prayer position, more docile than I’ve ever seen her. After church, we came home and had chicken curry for dinner then watched the Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas Special before sending the kids to bed. After that, I was up late on cooking (as I usually am) – I made meatballs, rainbow jello, and prepped the cinnamon buns.

Christmas Day we slept in a little bit, waking up around 8:00am. I had to proof the cinnamon buns in the oven. I had hoped that they could do a slow cool rise in the sun room, but that proved to be too cool and they didn’t rise much, so I had to put them in the oven to proof for another hour before I baked them. The kids did stockings first thing, then we talked to the Husband’s sister and family who were in the Netherlands. Then we had cinnamon buns. Then, finally, we did presents around 10pm. I’m surprised the kids were patient to wait that long.

After presents things took a leisurely pace. I picked up wrapping paper, read some, watched the kids play with their presents. At some point, I thought it might be nice to start dinner, so I did that and that took the rest of the day.

The Christmas Day Menu:
-Seafood Paella as the main dish. Ever since a family brought a paella to the 6 year old’s class for their Thanksgiving celebration, I’ve wanted to try to make one. So I decided that it would be Christmas dinner. There are about a gazillion paella recipes online and I couldn’t choose. On Christmas Day, I was texting with my friend in Jordan – her husband was in the foreign service and they had been in Barcelona for a stint – I was lamenting that I didn’t know where to start for my paella recipe and she texted me a recipe from a paella cookbook. The recipe was simple and my friend’s husband said it was pretty flexible and I could use all the seafood that I had bought – calamari, shrimp, scallops and cod. Yay. It turns out paella is simpler to make than I had thought – and it is kind of festive and feeds a lot of people. This won’t be my last time making it!
-Meatballs from a Tapas cookbook we had. I wanted something meaty to complement the paella. Everything I googled said paella is supposed to be it’s own meal, but I don’t know – there is something incimplete about just having a rice dish for dinner, so I made meatballs to go with.
-Rainbow Jello. As always. Though I made it this time since none of the kids were up for making it.
-Orange salad. Something bright and slightly acidic to balance the paella. Most Orange salads call for fennel, but I’m the only one in the family that likes fennel, so I just made this dressing and tossed it over sliced oranges with kalamata olives on the side.
-Green Beans. The Husband steamed and then sauteed some green beans for something a little green.
-Tomato Garlic bread, also from the Tapas Cookbook. Basically toasted bread with garlic olive oil and rub tomato on it.

After dinner, we watched It’s a Wonderful Life and then went to bed. All in all, a nice day.

The week after Christmas had lots of adventures – here’s the highlight reel:

–Taking the two girls and a friend to ClimbZone and then out for Korean food afterwards. I even got to climb too! It is very exhausting. One of my goals for family fun this year is to book a session at the climbing gym for the whole family. After ClimbZone, we went to this Korean place that makes their own noodles and it was fascinating to watch the whole process of pulling and stretching the dough into long strings. I was unfamiliar with a lot of the food and ended up mixing the noodles with the sauce for the shrimp. oops.

–An overnight trip to Lancaster, PA where we visited the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania:

And we went on a quest for licorice. I had gotten a few bags of Klepper and Klepper salty licorice when we were in Amsterdam, and, as the package says, it is the best licorice ever.

I was very sad when I finished the licorice that I brought home, so I lookonline and the closest place to us to find it is at a candy store in Lancaster, PA called Sweetish, which specializes in candy from Sweden. So when the Husband suggested a trip to the Railroad museum near Lancaster, I immediately suggested we stop by Sweetish as well. The store was amazing. Bins and bins of salty licorice, in addition to Klepper and Klepper. And all sorts of other candy as well. We walked away with a small fortune in candy – In addition to salt licorice of many varieties I also got a smoked licorice. (Of course the two kids who had crowns were not allowed any gummy candy, so they had lots of lollipops. Funny enough, the dentist told them that they could have as much ice cream as they wanted. They just had to remember to brush.).

We stayed in a hotel that night and had some pool time and the next morning we went to Longwood Gardens. The Christmas displays were still up, and even though we didn’t stay to see everything lit up after sundown, we still got a good dose of the holiday display. It was a drizzly, misty day, which has a beauty of its own, I think. A totally precious moment was when the 4 year old started getting tired, so we all took turns carrying her, even the 11 year old. What a good big sister she is!

–Theatre trips. I took my mother to see Fiddler on the Roof as a Christmas present. It was a beautiful production, really well done. The director had framed the show as a story told by a group of immigrants in an Ellis Island-type waiting room. So the different people arriving to America took on the roles of the various characters in Anatevka. I love seeing diversity onstage and I thought this was a reall thoughtful way to have coour conscious, but not colour blind casting. This framework, I thought, also really brought the idea of leaving home front and center in a way that I didn’t usually think of. I mean I knew that Tevye and his family leave Anatevka at the end of the musical, but so much of the beginning of the musical is about the homes and traditions they have established that to think about the beginning of the show through the lens of the end was certainly sobering. Also sobering was the presence of security guards and bag checks throughout the theatre. I feel a little abashed that I go to see a show about a Jewish village and take safety for granted, but there are many people who don’t. Of course going to a show is a bit of escapism, but there was also something very timely about this particular show at this particular time.

The next day, the whole family went to see A Year with Frog and Toad, which was a delightful. I laughed so hard throughout the show. The six year old, who looooves Frog and Toad, kept telling me when things were different from the book. At the end the show, he said, “In the book, they don’t explain how the clock gets broken. And now I know!” Because the breaking of the clock is a major plot point in the musical. Highly recommend this show! We’ve been listening and singing along to the soundtrack ever since. It’s ostensibly a kids’ show, but there were certainly many moments that I identified with. I will admit, Frog and Toad aren’t my favorite books, but there is something incredibly astute about them.

Bike ride – A friend passed along bike that his kids had outgrown and one of them was just right for the 4 year old, so we took them out for a bike ride one day. During the pandemic, they closed off one of the major parkways during the weekends and it continues to be closed to cars on weekends and holidays, making for a perfect place to practice riding bikes. We met up wit some friends and biked down to a playground. The Husband has always been anti-training wheels, but I feel like at this point, the 4 year old just wants to keep up with her siblings so giving her training wheels is the best tactic. I’m sure she will outgrow them soon – goals for 2024?

Hallmark Movie Marathon – we did not have an all day movie marathon, but we did do an entire afternoon where we watched two Hallmark movies back to back. I paired this with a decluttering activity and went through all the 11 year olds’ clothes and got rid of the stuff that didn’t fit and made of list of things that she needed. Apparently she has a gazillion t-shirts and only four pairs of pants. (Also – this was my dilemma at one point – is what does a pre-teen wear for a “nice” outfit??? She has fancy recital dresses and t-shirts and hoodies, but nothing in between that she could wear to the theatre or to a nice dinner. We need to figure this one out…) I’ve watched many many Hallmark movies this year… recap coming!

Trip Downtown to visit the U.S. Botanic Gardens and Trains: Every year the trains have a different theme and this year the theme was pollinators – they had all these models of pollinators, constructed from plant and vegetations. Also – we found a great new restaurant. Food now on the National Mall is always hit or miss, so I’m always on the look out for good food options and we found this place called Rice Bar that has customizable noodle and rice bowls. It was really tasty and had lots of vegetables, which is rare for food places down on the Mall. I was really excited to find this place.

New Years: The 11 year old likes to stay up to watch the ball drop, so we did, though the Husband was in bed by 11:30pm and the two little kids were asleep on the couch before midnight as well. Earlier in the day, the Husband made an apple crisp in a cast iron skillet – a super simple recipe, which we proceeded to eat out of the skillet – 5 forks and dig in! On New Years Day, we did some more cleaning and then went for a hike at Great Falls. It was a little rainy and a little chilly, but once we got going, everyone had a great time. The kids invented this game where they were each rulers of rock kingdoms and would gather for summits to discuss world issues. Seeing all three kids play together always feels so special since they are all at such different ages.

So that’s the rundown of the last bit of December into the New Year. I’m sure there are lots of moments I didn’t remember. I had sort of also fallen off the journaling wagon in all the holiday happenings. Something that I want to make sure to made time for again.

Grateful For:
– My mother being here. The kids enjoy having so much grandma time.

-Zoom – so we can talk to family far and wide. We don’t live near any family and we are very bad at keeping in touch. Zoom allows us to be a little less bad at it.

-All the good and love and peace of the holiday season. Health and family and friends.

-The Husband scraping the frost off my car in the morning.

Looking Forward To:
– Filling my planner and new pens. I have several blank planners for 2024 that I’m looking forward to filling. I use the Hobonichi Weeks Mega as my every day planner. Last year I used the Hobonichi Techo Cousin as a journal/habit tracker. I ordered both another Cousin but also the Jibun Techo Lite for journal/tracking this year. Not sure which I’ll use. I like having the pages for each day that the Cousin has, but truthfully, I don’t use every day, so it kind of seems like a waste of a planner. I also ordered a fountain pen sampler from Jetpens. I love the scratchy resistance of the Preppy Fountain Pen that came in my pen sampler last year, so I thought I’d try more fountain pens. Jet Pens only has a black ink fountain pen sampler, and I prefer blue ink, but even still, I’m excited to try them out.

-The 11 year old’s basketball season is starting, so I’m looking forward to cheering her on.

-A few light months of work. I’m taking advantage of not having to be at rehearsal or at the theatre in the evenings to take on some life fun things – for everyone in the family. I’ve encouraged the Husband to sign up for some volunteer work, I’m adding some activities for the kids, and I’m looking into a class for myself too. I feel like while I’m able to be home to drive carpool or watch the kids while the Husband does something for himself, we should take advantage of the time. My job puts such limits on what we can do as a family sometimes that I feel bad, so I’m eager to lean into life things rather than work things for a few months.

-and of course, all the things that 2024 might bring and that I might plan for the year.

What We Ate:
Well, again, since I did really poorly at tracking and journalling this month, I don’t really remember what we ate, but here’s a few memorable dishes:

-Tourtiere for New Year’s Eve Dinner. I’ve made this Canadian meat pie before, and it’s a super cozy meal, which I feel was what the day called for. I used the recipe from the King Arthur’s Baking cook book.

-Egg Curry. One of our new hit recipes from 2023 and a perfect pantry meal. I threw in some kabocha squash as well.

-Congee. I often end up having to throw out leftover rice because I’m never inspired to do anything with it. This time, I decided to make congee with it. I had a loose recipe to start, but then I just started adding whatever I had around – leftover chicken wings from a get together with friends, a bit of that kabocha squash, the last stalks of celery, some jujube berries. It made such a cozy meal. I find kitchen sink meals so satisfying – something about being able to use up the last bit of something in the fridge just makes food taste better to me.

-Chicken Curry in the Instant Pot from Melissa Clark’s Dinner in and Instant. Perfect make ahead meal for Christmas Eve.

-And there was lots of pizza. I think we had at least two or three pizza and movie nights in the past few weeks.

Weekly Recap + what we ate: No flow state

This past week has felt like a disjointed mess. Errands. Play dates. Life. Laundry. Dishes.

Everything just felt fraught, everyone was grumpy. Or maybe just me. Then in the middle of the week, it hit me: I was feeling so off because I wasn’t in a place to have any sense of flow in my life – there is no flow in parenting. Flow. That state of total occupation where time seems to melt away. When an activity is just challenging enough to demand total attention and focus. Much ink has been spilt lately on how flow is essential to well being. When I took the Yale Happiness Course (free online – I found it very insightful and tweaked some life habits after taking this course.), flow was cited as important to achieving well being and reducing stress. When you’re in a flow state, you’re in the zone, totally present with a sense of purpose, which makes for a really enjoyable experience.

I think about activities when I find that sense of flow:

-In the Kitchen. Cooking and baking definitely put me into a flow state – the mixing and combining and seeing yummy things manifest.

-timing scores. At work, one of our jobs is to listen to the opera with a stopwatch and mark every 15 seconds in our score. It helps later on to figure out how much time there is between two moments in the show – say, a singer exiting and re-entering, or if we have live flame onstage we can tell the fire marshal how long the torch will be lit, that kind of thing. Timing the score is one of those moment of flow because I have to really concentrate to follow the music and get the marks in the right place. We all know not to bother someone when they are timing a score. And at the same time, I love it because I get to listen to the music and music is pretty awesome.

-mending. Part of it is I’m not very good at mending, so I have to concentrate very hard on it and I find it a completely absorbing activity, and it’s also really satisfying when it is done to know that I saved a piece of clothing for a few more wears.

-Writing here on the blog. I am a very slow writer, also it doesn’t come easily to me. Or maybe I have a lot to say, and like finding ways of getting words out. When I get a chunk of uninterrupted time to write, the time can fly and I’m usually really happy with the outcome.

But even aside from those “fun flows” I get a certain satisfied sense of flow in being able to just get things done. Like bang out all the “internet errand” (bills, registrations, forms, etc.) in one go, or tidying a room, or organizing a closet. I actually think I get a huge sense of flow from cleaning the kitchen late at night after the kids go go bed.

Which all brings me to my realization: There is no flow in parenting. With the kids at home, there was no chance to get through something uninterrupted, no chance to immerse myself, lose track of time. Someone was always hungry, or needed help with something, or complaining about a sibling. And even when the house was quiet – that in itself also disrupts flow because something in my brain would tick and say, “It’s too quiet, what are the kids up to????” I’d sit down for two minutes to get a task done, or roll out my yoga mat to do ten minutes of yoga… and suddenly footsteps, a knock on my door, a small hand tugging on my arm, a voice in my ear, then my train of thought and sense of purpose is shattered. If flow is about uninterrupted immersion, then yeah… there was not flow during daytime hours last week.

The other thing I found interesting in reading up about flow this week, is that researchers say flow is achieved when peak skill level combines with peak challenge level. So if you don’t feel challenged at something you’re not at all skilled at, you’re going to feel apathetic about it. I like the range of states on the chart below:

from this website, but also it features in Laurie Santos’ talks.

And here, I realized, is another reason I find no flow in parenting – Parenting, for me is a high challenge situation for which I have low skills. Empathy and understanding and doing the right thing and having the perfect response – those come neither naturally or easily for me. So there I am right in the “Anxiety” corner of the chart, though I probably hang out more in the “worry” segment. (I also feel this way about work sometimes. ) So not only does parenting disrupt any flow I may have when I undertake an activity, it also does not provide any kind of venue for intrinsic flow either.

I don’t know if I can spin that into a positive – something about savoring my children while I can despite the challenge? Or if I should just live with the expectation that when the kids are home life will feel abrupt and disjointed and fractured and at sea. After all reasonable expectations are also a component to well being. I think it’s perhaps all of it – setting boundaries with the kids, managing my own work load when they are home so that the tasks can be interrupted, and also leaning into those interruptions. That all sounds very idealistic. Well the kids are all back in school as I write this, so hopefully in the hours between 9:30a and 4:00pm, I can regain some sense of the flow that I was missing the past few weeks.

Speaking of being interrupted, I read this article last week about the importance of curiosity and how we can foster curiosity in ourselves and in children and it really struck a nerve with me. This paragraph:

Children also have to feel that they are free to express their curiosity. Adults need to ‘create environments where children know that it’s safe to ask questions, where there are opportunities to explore, where it’s OK to be wrong and to express uncertainty,’ Bonawitz says. In one high-school classroom that Engel observed, a ninth-grader raised her hand to ask if there had ever been places in the world where no one made art. ‘The teacher stopped her mid-sentence with, “Zoe, no questions now, please; it’s time for learning”,’ Engel recounted.

I think I needed this reminder as I felt myself growing impatient with the constant questions from the 6 year old. He’s very into asking the meaning of words these days, and when I’m trying to achieve a flow state, the constant interruptions for word definitions was so irksome. He’s not old enough for a dictionary yet, but even still, another thing the article points out is that research shows that children display more curiosity if the grown ups around them also engage with a curious mind. So maybe instead of just impatiently rattling off a definition to the six year old, we can get out the dictionary together. Time seems like a precious commodity and I definitely feel myself torn between doing my own thing/encouraging independence vs. engaging with my children. It’s a balance – for everyone’s sake. Constantly responding to never-ending demands certainly taps me out, but I do want to respond to my children in a way that will help them grow and learn and, yes, be curious.

Snapshots of the week:
– The 11 year old had her mini day at middle school. After all my dilemmas about how she should get to school, she ended up just walking. I followed her to school on her mini day, ten steps behind because I had the two little kids behind me. I was really proud of how she looked at her watch before she set out (she’s wearing a watch!!!), and then took note of how long it took her to get to school. It seemed a very mature thing to do. There a lot of kids who walk, so once she crosses the busy road into the next neighborhood, she’ll have lots of walking buddies. I love seeing how she is thriving with the added independence of middle school.

-We went to the 6 year old’s sneak peek at his classroom. His teacher has such boundless enthusiasm, and I’m excited for his school year.

– We went to the local botanical gardens with some friends and their kids. We saw turtles and geese. The 11 year old took over my camera and took a bajillion pictures of all the kids in various locations. It was like a fun photo shoot.

-In an attempt to curb middle of the night visits from the three year old, we’ve given her an alarm clock and told her not to come into our room until the first number is 5 or 6. We are having various degrees of success. Sometimes it works really well. Sometimes she comes when the clock says, 2:05, saying that there is a 5 and therefore it is time to get into mom and dad’s bed. There was the one time at 9:22 pm when she got out of bed, holding the clock upside down claiming that there was a 5 and she should not have to stay in bed anymore. Either she’s still figuring it out, or she’s already figured it out, crafty girl.

-Speaking of time – The kids got into my iPad and set an an alarm:

Every day at 8am. It’s good to have the reminder.

-We went to Longwood Gardens on the Sunday before school started. We hadn’t been all summer and the Husband wanted to go, so we bundled into the car, listening to How To Train Your Dragon on the way up and back. We haven’t been to Longwood Gardens in the summer in a while and I loved seeing all the colors of the blooming flowers.

One of the best parts of Longwood for me is always the vegetable gardens. They grow so many varieties of vegetables, and I always love seeing how vegetables look as they are growing, before they get plucked and delivered to the grocery store. My favorite thing this year was the rows and rows of basil, growing so tall . The smell of it all, sun soaked and fragrant, was just pure summer.

-It took me a while to find PEACE:

Grateful for:
-Siblings. I love that my kids (mostly) get along. They play together. They have the oddest conversations. They hold hands when they walk. They read to each other. They collude against the parents. They encourage each other. Particularly the oldest – she is always encouraging the little ones and can talk them out of a tantrum better than I can. Sure they have moments when they squabble and fight and take each other’s things, but on the whole, the love they have for each other shines so bright. I know you can’t predict how siblings turn out, so I hope they continue to be close as they get older.

-Public school. As I was taking the kids to their various pre-first day activities, I saw all the kids streaming to school and I thought how lucky we are to have schools were kids can go to learn. The six year old is in a French Immersion program that costs us nothing but our taxes. The 11 year old is taking a theatre class as part of the regular curriculum. And I felt grateful not just that my kids could go to school, but that any kid in our county could go to school. I borrowed a picture book from the library last week about two girls who couldn’t go to school because of the hukuo system in China. It’s a system where you have to register your residency in order to, among other things, receive services. Once registered, it is very hard to change so if you move from the rural area to the urban area, your kids aren’t guaranteed a place in the school of your new location. That’s an oversimplification, but the idea that a child would not be able to go to school makes me so sad.

-Public transportation. Another good use of my tax dollars. One day last week, we had another 6 year old over for a play date and we decided to take the bus to the library. It felt so much easier than trying to get the extra booster seat out. I just learned that the 11 year old and the 6 year old can get a bus pass to ride the county bus for free! I’m going to have to put that on my list of things to look into.

Looking forward to:
– September. A New Month! I’ve been thinking of habits and routines that I want to try to cultivate.

– Maryland Renaissance Festival! The Husband is going out of town this weekend – he’s going ot the Minnesota State Fiar with a bunch of friends. I guess it’s a bucket list trip for some of them. So a three day weekend with the kids for me. The Husband does not care for the Renaissance Festival, so I usually take the kids without him. For some reason or other he’s often away labor day weekend. Given the number of trips he’s taken with the kids solo this summer, I feel like he more than deserves a trip with his friends.

-Cooler weather. We’ve had a spate of weather in the low 80s and breezy and it’s been lovely. I’m not ready for autumn life happenings (The Hallowe’en stuff is out at Costco already!!) , but I sure am ready for autumn weather.

What We Ate:

Monday: Pasta with tomato and anchovy sauce. Tomatoes from the Husband’s garden. From the cookbook “Cook What You Have” about easy pantry meals.

Tuesday: Egg Curry. I heard about this on the podcast Didn’t I Just Feed you? I would not have thought of making a curry with hard boiled eggs, but this was really tasty and will go into our rotation. The Husband said, “I knew this was going to be good – it’s two of my favorite things: eggs and curry!”

Wednesday: Tomato Chirashi and tuna sushi bowls. The tomato chirashi bowl was from a Washington Post recipe that calls for marinading tomatoes in soy sauce, mirin, fish sauce so that the tomatoes sort of mimic raw fish. I made brown rice with vinegar and added edamame, cucumbers, carrots, and canned tuna and we topped with nori. It was really satisfying and the kids could pick and choose what they put in their bowl.

Thursday: Corn Dogs and bubble tea. We met up with the Husband after work at a Korean Corndog place in the mall for Happy Hour, which turned out to be not a great food choice, but very tasty.

Friday: Pizza (carry out) and Frozen. It was the 3 year old’s turn ot pick the movie.

Satureday: Pizza (again) at a birthday party.

Sunday: Totellini with sausage and red sauce. Pantry dinner after we got home from Longwood Gardens. I wanted something simple and quick and this was it.