parenting books – Life Off Headset

Books Read August 2026

August was such a good reading month! I don’t know what happened, but I read 11 books in August – that’s more books than I ever remember reading in one month, or even two months some times. I would chalk it up to lengthy commute (hence lots of audiobooks) and being on vacation/ under employed and also reading books that I just couldn’t put down.

So many of the books too were excellent reads. My two favorites were Dolly All The Time and Etna, but in any other month, there are easily three other books on this list that would have been a “top read of the month.”

And the Devil Reached Toward the Sky: An oral History of the Making and Unleashing of the Atomic Bomb by Garrett M. Graf, read by Edoardo Ballerini and a full cast (too many to name here…) – This book is made up of first person accounts surrounding the atomic bomb. I had a strange moment as I was listening to this book. It was July 16th and this being a history book, dates were pretty important. I realized that I was listening to the book on the 81st anniversary to the day that the first atomic bomb test (Trinity) took place – July 16th, 1945. There was something so immediate to know that wow – this is what the world felt like at the time Trinity happened – kids were out of school, the country was in the lazy, hazy days of summer. And most of America was going on with their lives (like I was), and this colossal thing was happening that would change the world. Also it was two months before my father was born. I mean that fact isn’t that important to the world, but somehow it grounded the events in the book. This book covers a huge range of things – from the very science of nuclear fission, through the formation of the Manhattan Project, to the stories from the Japanese people who were on the ground in Nagasaki and Hiroshima. The science definitely went over my head, but what kept me listening was the human aspects of the story – the Jewish physicists who fled Nazi Germany to come to America; the hiring decisions; the people who up and moved to work on the atomic bomb project; the towns that were built in Los Alamos NM, Oak Ridge TN, and Hanford WA to support the project – the government built entire towns!!; the day of Trinity and who was there and who had to watch from afar; the pilots who flew the Enola Gay (also – very cool because I’ve seen that plane in the Air and Space Museum here); the doctors on the ground in Japan trying to save people. The survivors. The aftermath. There’s a whole section where people talked about how the decision was made as to which cities to bomb – the seeming disregard for human life in those decisions. I think aside from the science and the war room strategies, this book really sucked me in with the human emotions and thoughts behind the atomic bomb – the joys of scientific discovery and also the crushing grief of loss and destruction.

Dolly All The Time by Annabel Monaghan – This is a fake dating romance that is kicked off when single mom Dolly is persuaded by Stewart, the handsome scion of a Rhode Island family, to be his pretend girlfriend. I am so grateful for whomever stuck this book in a Little Free Library at the pool because I LOVED this book soooo much and I’m really glad to have my own copy to re-read whenever I want. Which has been something like three times already. I stayed up until 4am to finish this book because I really needed to know how everything worked out and this book now has a permanent place on my nightstand. I’ll just randomly pick it up and re-read passages of it because every scene is just so perfect. I don’t much like fake dating, so I was a little skeptical going in. I also don’t really like first person romance novels because the other side of the love equation never comes across as a complete person. Monaghan, however, managed to blow past all my reservations. She writes in such a way that Stewart comes across as a nuanced and vulnerable character, not just some fantasy of Dolly’s. There is a part of this book that is fantasy wish fulfillment – rich guy comes takes care of things for the over-worked, ever responsible and resourceful single mom – but also I really loved how Dolly has to work to figure out so many things for herself about life and family, (and so does Stewart). There’s something about this book that straddles the line between literary fiction and romance; yes, you get the Happily Ever After, but there is also sotry of growth and family- there is more going on than just two people falling in love. At the end, I felt like Dolly will be okay if Stewart never calls her back, even while I kept hoping that he figures his shit out too. Swoony, funny, and oh so satisfying.

Welcome to Murder Week by Karen Dukess, read by Carlotta Brenton – What a fun premise – When Cath finds out that her estranged dead mother had booked a vacation for the two of them to a murder mystery week in a quaint English village. Stuck somewhat in a rut, she decides to use her mother’s trip to shake up her life a little bit. This is one of those books where I think I enjoyed it more on audio than I would have if I had just read it. The fake murder mystery plot and reveal were cute, but a lot of the characters and plot points seemed a little forced. It’s the kind of thing where the characters were quirky and entertaining to listen to, but they might have really annoyed me if I were reading it. But all in all, this was pretty entertaining, if not wholly memorable.

Lady Tremaine by Rachel Hochhauser– This is a Cinderella re-telling, told from the Stepmother’s point of view. I feel like Cinderella’s Stepmother falls in the category of cliched unredeemable villains – I couldn’t imagine the world where she comes off as reasonably likable. Well, this book proved me wrong. I really loved this book and how it is such a different look at everyone in the Cinderella story – not just the Stepmother, but also the sisters, the Prince, and Cinderella herself. At it’s core, this is a story about a mother – strong willed and imperfect – trying to raise three girls in a world where women don’t hold any power. The plot never lets up, with secret after secret slowly unspooling and about mid way through the book, it moves from feeling like a fairy tale re-telling to feeling like a fast-paced thriller. Very readable, but also I loved what a story of female empowerment this was.

The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O’Farrell – Here’s the thing I’ve come to realize about Maggie O’Farrell after three books – maybe she just isn’t for me. I LOVED Hamnet, thought it was the most beautiful book I’d read in ages. I was meh about The Disappearing Act of Esme Lenox – I thought it was cliched plot wrapped in beautiful writing. And now The Marriage Portrait. Look – she writes beautifully precise prose. Her writing plunges you into a world where you can feel the velvets and breathe the air. BUT.. but but…. she leverages trauma in a way that makes me feel manipulated and gross. I don’t feel like she’s exploring traumatic events in her character’s lives for any great point; she’s just making her characters miserable. So much as I admire her writing, I don’t know that I’ll put her back on the top of my TBR any time soon. Maybe in the future when I’m able to read about horrific things with a sense of personal growth. That’s not something I can currently do.

Etna by Paul Yoon– This short novel is told through the eyes of Etna, a bomb sniffing dog who tries to find his (her?) way home after the war ends. I listened to this on audio with the 6 and 9 year olds. There were a couple of times when I almost turned it off because there are some violent things in this story, but the kids were so invested in Etna’s journey that they wanted to keep listening. I loved how Etna clung to the dream of going home even when things got tough. I loved the friends that Etna made along the way. This unnamed country is a pretty defeated place in the wake of war, but there is still kindness. I love how Etna never judges those around him, but does understand and recognize kindness and kinship. I loved how Etna defined home as a place where he had once known peace. He’s a remarkably clear eyed narrator. I asked the 6 year old what she liked about the book, and she said, “I liked that Etna made friends and even though there were some side times, in the end, Etna was happy.”

The Neighbor Favor by Kristina Forrest – In this contemporary romance, Lily Greene, who dreams about being a children’s book editor, strikes up a correspondence with her favorite Fantasy author. He writes back then suddenly ghosts her. A year later, Lily asks her new neighbor Nick to help her find a date to her sister’s wedding. Well… you probably know what the plot twist is here. This book was fine – I didn’t love it. The writing’s a little workaday. I just felt like there wasn’t a lot of chemistry between the two main characters and you could tell that other characters and details were being dropped into the book so that they could be put into future books. (This book is first in a series.)

Star Shipped by Cat Sebastian– This contemporary M/M romance is about two actors on the same long running hit sci-fi tv series who have had an ongoing on set rivalry. But then life circumstances intervene and Simon and Charlie are forced to be there for each other. I thought this book was pretty great. It’s not an explosive romance novel, but rather a quiet slow burn where Simon (the story is from his POV), gradually comes to realize that Charlie is no the rash ball of chaos that he thought he was. In fact Charlie is more thoughtful and deep than Simon had ever given him credit for. I loved this book for the inside look into tv series, the way people end up caring for each other, and a super cute dog. Also, this book has a lot to say about being a creative and putting something out into the world that make people happy, and as a person in a creative field, I really need to hear that from time to time. (I had a quote from this book as a quote of the month in my August recap post.)

Nora Goes Off Script by Annabel Monaghan– of course after finishing Dolly All the Time, I wanted to read everything by Annabel Monaghan. This book also is a bit of fantasy wish fulfillment- divorced mom has a fling with hot movie star- but I Nora’s story is so much more than that- it’s about coming to terms with the life you have and hugging the people who are important and letting go of those who aren’t or can’t be. Like Dolly, this book was funny, felt real, and had so many beautiful moments and characters. I think the one thing that made this book not as perfect as Dolly is that I never got a sense of who movie star Leo was- he wasn’t a terribly complex or well defined character. His job was pretty much to be hot, caring, and a good listener. Which, as romance novels go, is totally fine by me.

The Carpool Detectives: A True Story of Four Moms, Two Bodies, and One Mysterious Cold Case by Chuck Hogan, read by Gabra Zackman: This is the true story of a group of moms who solve a 15 year old cold case double homicide. I thought this story was fascinating, how the four women banded together and with little more than determination and gumption and their own brains, really dug into the case – the secrets come out, the clues are dissected, people are interviewed again, and memories revived. Also all this was during the first months of COVID – I found the undercurrent of parenting during COVID made me really identify with these women – they’re looking for purpose at a time when the world was on it’s head and it was hard to tell when really mattered. I did find the audiobook a little dry – some of the clues involve getting pretty in the weeds about fraud and finance, which made my eyes glaze over a little bit. There is a part of me that kind of wished this were a podcast rather than an audiobook – there’s something a little more engaging in the tone of podcast voices for this kind of thing. But overall a really gripping non-fiction read.

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon, PhD and Michael Thomason, PhD – This book was my morning non-fiction book in August and it talks about how boys need to learn emotional literacy to deal with all the social and emotional changes that they face. The book talks about how we have to teach boys that life isn’t fair, but that this unfairness is not a threat to them. Daria left an interesting comment a few weeks ago about how this book seemed a little dated; the advice in the book is nothing revolutionary today. I think she is right – I don’t know that I came away from this book with more insights into my my son needs, but I do think reading this book made me think of the world that he is growing up into. I think it’s all very well and good for us to teach our boys that they need to be flexible, empathetic. and willing to express their emotions, but how much good does that do when he is living in a country where a man uses petty retaliation as a tactic for running the country? This is what I realized in reading this book – no matter how much I try to teach my son (actually all my children) how to be emotionally literate, the world he lives in is not sending him these same messages. And that’s one thing that makes me feel like raising a boy is so hard these days. (I mean raising a girl is hard too…. raising any child to be a responsible adult is hard…)

On my Proverbial Night Stand:

The Eustace Diamonds by Anthony Trollope- the plot is thickening. I have thirty more chapters to go- hopefully I’ll finish before the end of the year.

Game of Rogues by Julie Anne Long – the latest in her Palace of Rogues Series. I’ve been waiting so long for this book!

Will Grayson Will Grayson by John Greene and David Levethin – I’ve had this book on my bookshelf for a while and was looking for something to take me out of my Dolly All The Time hangover so decided to start this one. Teenagers putting on a high school musical! That’s my catnip.

Gig: Americans Talk About Their Jobs, Edited by John Bowe, Marisa Bowe, and Sabin Streeter – I had read this twenty years ago, and I was inspired to revisit it by one of Engie’s posts about the book Clean Up on Aisle Five.

Fourteen Talks before Age Fourteen by Michell Icard- My morning non-fiction book.

This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay – on audio. I was snort laughing on the bus while listening to this.

Books Read – July 2023

Already September and just now getting around to the July books. I thought about doing August and July books together, but this post was already half written, so here you are…

Ballad of Love and Glory by Reyna Grande: This novel was set during the Mexican-American War, a historical event which I didn’t know anything about. It is based on the true story of Irish immigrants who join the American army then defect to the Mexican side and were given their own artillery unit. I really loved the historical aspect of this book and learning about a new slice of history. The writing is so descriptive and vivid. At the same time, I thought the narrative arc lacked momentum. And maybe that’s just the nature of war – people die, things just plod on and on. I felt invested in the story, though, because I really liked the two main characters – John Riley who lead the artillery unit and Ximena Solome a Mexican army nurse – and I was really rooting for their relationship.

The Year of Miracles by Ella Risbridger – I don’t usually put cookbooks in my “Books Read” list, but this one was so beautifully written – part memoir, part cookbook. I had read her first book Midnight Chicken and felt similarly entranced by it. A Year of Miracles takes place during the pandemic as Risbridger is mourning the death of her long time partner. It is an account of finding joy in the simplest of things but also for allowing yourself to grieve and to feel. It’s a testament to good friends and simple food. I love this book so much because she writes things like:
I’ve been grieving now for years, and grief sets “missing” as your default state. I’m always missing someone; and I’ve learned to live along the line of something being lost. I’ve learned to cultivate happiness in absence, and to love an empty space where something used to be in the quiet hope that it won’t be wasted: something always turns up to be loved, a fox, a star, a courgette. At cat. A home. A person.

And then she writes recipe instructions like:
Stir to coat everything in the lovely scented oil. You might have to turn the heat up here, but not too high. A medium flame, let’s say, at most. I trust you. If it seems like anything is catching, turn it down. Just watch it, and it will be ok.

Her writing and her recipes are like a warm, soothing hug from a good friend.

Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn – This novel is about the escapades of a group of female assassins, which immediately piqued my interest. They have been in the assassin business for a 30+ years, but somebody is suddenly out to extinguish them and they have to go rogue to figure out who that is. I thought this novel was a lot of fun. 60-something year old female assassins who are smart, cunning, witty and can kick ass — well that’s definitely refreshing to read about. And their friendships – I like reading about female friendships and these ones are certainly complicated yet comforting. I’ve read Raybourn’s historical mysteries, but this has a certain fresh humour about it that is different. I wonder if she will write more?

After Dark with the Duke by Julie Anne Long – The next novel in the Palace of Rogue series. I really loved this novel – the heroine is an opera singer, so automatically that piques my interest. She is fleeing from scandal, having been the impetus for a duel, and comes to the Grand Palace on the Thames to escape and figure out what to do next. Having no money she agrees to put on a concert to raise funds for the boarding house. The hero is a celebrated war hero who has taken rooms in the Grand Palace on the Thames to write his memoirs but he’s a little stuck. He insults her (a little bit on purpose) and to make up for it he teaches her how to speak Italian and over the course of their Italian lessons they learn about each other and fall in love. But of course she’s an opera singer and he’s a noble lord. This is just a very nice romance novel about two very mature people trying to do the right thing, when the right thing they want to do is not necessarily the right thing society would have them do. There is a bit of an age difference between the two of them (20 years) that I found not really warranted, but that’s a minor quibble.

A Heart that Works by Rob Delany – A sad, wistful, and angry book about Delany’s two year old son’s battle with brain cancer. Losing a child just seems like such a horrific and heart-wrenching experience. I think it must be one of the worst things that a person can face. Delaney writes with such honesty and with surprising humour about what he and his family went through. It’s a book that made me want to hug my children closer

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Anne Schaffer and Annie Barrows, narrated by Paul Boehmer, Susan Duerden, Rosalyn Landor, John Lee, Juliet Mills – I feel like I’m the last person to read this novel, set in 1946 about a writer who strikes up a correspondence with a man on the Island of Guernsey. Epistolatory novels are my cat nip and I heard that this one was charming on audio, and indeed it was. Some of the plotting was a little awkward and unsubtle – there are limits to the epistolatory novel, of course, but over all this novel was perfect for my long commute home – sweet and undemanding and full of fun characters.

The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler – Feiler is a New York Times journalist who in the book explores frameworks for creating a thriving family life. He does talk to scientists and researchers, but also talks to business experts, coaches, and military professionals to figure out what makes families stronger. It’s kind of family through a team building lens. Each chapter tackles a different subject – things like allowance, activities, travel, making decisions, discipline, having a family mission statement, how to talk about sexuality, etc. A lot of it is common sense and just good reminders of how we need to invest time in our families for them to thrive. Like any parenting book, I think one can take what is useful and leave the rest- “Good for you, not for me.” Some of his strategies to build relationship through createing competition between his kids rubbed me the wrong way – it is very counter what “Siblings without Rivalry” advocates. But that’s just another example about how there is no one parenting style that will work for all the variations of parents and children in the world. I did make a lot of highlights in this book, though. I think the parts that really resonated with me are the chapters about how to create stronger bonds in your family through shared experiences, rituals, histories, and values. Some of my highlights:
“… The more kids remember about their own families, the more self-esteem and confidence they exhibit. With the at in mind, devote a night to having kids tell stories from their own past… the day they scored two goals at soccer, the night their mother made those awesome chocolate chip cookies. This game would work particularly well the night before a big test or game, as scientist have found recalling high points form their own lives boosts children’s self confidence.”
The book talks a lot about how important it is for kids to feel like they have a family history – how knowing where they come from gives them confidence and roots for becoming adults.

“A key gift of the family meeting was to give us a designate space each week to overcome … differences. It was a safe zone where everybody was on equal footing, and no one could leave until a resolution was forged.”
I like the idea of regular family meetings and a family mission statement – this idea that a family was a unit lead by the parents, but not dictated by the parents. This is very different from how I grew up and I chafed at that.

“I told my dad, ‘I promise not to do anything big and stupid sexually if you promise not to yell at me for doing something small and stupid.'”
I need to learn this, to accept that kids will do dumb things and if I can be gentle with the small mistakes then hopefully my kids will not be afraid to come to me if they make big mistakes.

“The purpose of youth sports, Thompson says, is to create better competitors and to create better people. He often asks parents who they think has the job of accomplishing the first goal. “They get it right way,” he said. “Coaches and kids.” Parents have a more important job, he tells them.” You focus on the second goal, helping your kids take what they learn from sports into the rest of their lives.” Let’s say your kids strikes out, and his team loses the game. “You can have a first-goal conversation about bailing out of the batter’s box, keeping your eye on the ball, etc. Or you can have a second-goal conversation about resilience, character, and perseverance.”
I think this is so important to remember as my kids start activities. There are coaches and teachers to tell them how to play the sports. My role is to help the kids see the intangible benefits of what they are doing.

“Honey, what you are saying makes a lot of sense.”
Another phrase I need to learn to use more – to validate other people.

Reading with the kids – some of our/my recent favorites (I mean the kids also love those early readers that feature Peppa Pig or the Avengers, but I’m going to be a bit of a snob and list the ones that I like reading to them.):

The Legend of Rock Paper Scissors by Drew Daywalt and Adam Rex – I got this as a Vox book and it’s hilarious to my kids who love to settle things by playing Rock-Paper-Scissors. (Though they don’t always like the results.)

L’Ecole de Barbarpapa by Annette Tisson and Talus Taylor – okay this book is one I like to read. At the end of the school year, the 6 year old’s school gives everyone books to take home. Because he is in a French immersion program, they try to give him French books. When I saw this book, I was immediately taken back to my childhood – The Barbapapa books were very popular where I was growing up in Canada. It’s about a charming family of amorphous beings who shape shift as necessary. In this book, they open up a school.

I’m a Unicorn by Helen Yoon – This is a rather silly book about a cow that thinks they’re a unicorn because they have one horn. There are poop jokes, which always makes for a winner. Yoon also wrote the work from home book “Off-Limits” that we love.

Working Boats by Tom Crestodina – A beautifully illustrated book that looks at cross sections of various boats. Not a bedtime book, but a slowly pore and explore book with so many fascinating facts.

On my proverbial night stand:

Wild Genius on the Moors – still plugging through the Bronte biography. Charlotte has writer’s block.

Braiding Sweetgrass – I had put this aside for a while, but now I’m about 20 pages to the end, so I really want to finish it.

Stranger in a Shogun’s City – Non fiction about a woman in nineteenth century Japan who, after suffering three failed marriages, leaves her rural village for the big city of Edo. Such fascinating period details.

The Number One Chinese Restaurant – novel set in Rockville, near where I live and where, indeed, all the good Chinese restaurants are.

Tree Grows in Brooklyn – for Engie’s book club. What a lot of suffering is going on in these chapters.

Unwind – Dystopian YA novel about a world where adults can choose to have children “unwound” – basically their body parts are taken and given to other people- if they don’t show any promise between the ages of 13-18. It is rather grim reading. Next book in our Mother Daughter book club. We might need something more cheerful next.