summer – Life Off Headset

Weekly recap + what we ate: Tech/opening/closing; Motivation and Discipline

I’ve made it to the other side of the show. Last week we teched and then had our one and only performance. It’s been an intense week for sure, working until 1:30am two of the nights. The process has been fast and furious – only two days of rehearsal in the theatre before opening. Usually we have four days in the theatre, at least.

Lighting session. The view from Stage Right.

The thing that’s particularly intense about this schedule is that the first rehearsal onstage for the full cast was with orchestra and full costume, wigs, and make-up. Usually the first onstage tech rehearsal is just piano and no costumes, so we can get used to the set, figure out the staging, slowly work through tricky traffic. To have to throw set, costumes, orchestra, light cues at the process the first time most of the cast stepped onstage was a lot. But big shout out to our stage manger, who came up with a plan to keep things moving while stopping and allowing everyone time to work on elements that needed work – firing weapons, fights, offstage singing moments, balance notes, costume changes etc. The one costume change I was really worried about involved the entire 36 person chorus changing from a winter look to a spring look in 1 minute 30 seconds. It’s not a complicated change – mostly just taking off overcoats and scarves, and adding summer hats, but when 36 people have to do it all at once, it’s a bit of a madhouse.

But we did it, and by all accounts the opera was beautiful. Everything went smoothly, no noticeable hiccups. People backstage, cast and crew, seemed to not be too confused, so that always makes me feel as if I’ve done my job well. There is something gratifying about being a stage manager in that people always appreciate you. At least the people backstage and onstage.

Now I have a little break before I plunge back into rehearsals again. I took the weekend to relax. It was truly a plan-free weekend. We actually spent all of Saturday morning playing “My bed is my island” as all five of us cuddled and napped and read in the 13 year old’s bed. It felt so indulgent. Then we did a few chores around the house and went to the pool for a couple hours. Highlight of our pool time was that the 13 year old taught me how to dive! I’ve never really been able to dive – just kind of teetered at the edge of the water then belly flopped in. The 13 year old gave me lots of tips and coached me through it. Yay! I’ve always wanted to figure this out.

After the pool, we came home and had pizza and watched Glee. Then after the kids went to bed, the Husband, 13 year old, and I watched Jaws. I had never seen Jaws before, and as the movie is 50 years old this year, the Husband thought it a good time to watch it. There was definitely some screaming and clutching going on while we watched. What a nerve-wracking and entertaining movie. I don’t know that I need to watch it again, but glad I checked that off my list. All in all, it was such a perfect, lazy Saturday. This is what summers are made for, I think.

The thirteen year old teaching the 5 year old how to dive.

Every time I have a gap between shows, I like to think about routines I want to set up (or return to) so that when I am back into working nights and weekends I have some good practices in place. Along those lines, something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately was this article by Leon Ho on Life Hack: Motivation vs. Discipline: Why One always Beats the Other (And It’s Not What You Think). The article made me think about how there were some things I was very disciplined about at while working (daily yoga, eating fruits and vegetables, finding time to get outside, making the bed.). And there were some things that just didn’t happen because I didn’t feel the motivation (journaling, running, check ins with the Husband, putting away my lunch box). It’s not like the former is more important than the latter – I just never felt like doing it. Reading Ho’s article really made me think about how waiting to be inspired to do something wasn’t going to work.

And because I’m a Questioner (per Gretchen Rubin), the article stuck with me because it broke down the brain chemistry of motivation vs. discipline to explain why discipline gets more consistent results. In a nut shell, motivation releases dopamine, which makes you feel awesome and powerful. Motivation lights up your brain and encourages action. However, these dopamine flows cab be fleeting and unpredictable. And this is why relying on feeling motivated to do something doesn’t work. Discipline, however, Ho writes, is about creating systems that will work even when motivation isn’t there – it’s the adulting pre-frontal cortex. It is really hard for the pre-frontal cortex to win out over dopamine, but you can build routines and habits that make it less of a struggle. This is the quote that really made me sit up:

“Picture Michael Phelps at 5:30 AM, staring at a chlorinated pool in Baltimore. It’s 2003, years before his first Olympic gold. The water’s cold. His muscles ache from yesterday’s 12,000-meter swim. Does he feel motivated? Hell no. But he dives in anyway. Every. Single. Day. Even Christmas.”

This was an eye-opening re-frame for me: Michael Phelps doesn’t swim every day because he wants to swim in a dopamine flood of motivation. He swims every day because that’s what he has to do to achieve his goals. So when people say you have to want things to get it, they aren’t talking about “wanting” to win a game or play your best in that moment, they’re talking about using that “want” to set up disciplined habits. So that your dopamine lacking brain will still do the thing even when it isn’t feeling warm dopamine fuzzies. It’s all about showing up, right? And towards that, thinking about how to show up. Or what can one do to make showing up a habit. Because you can’t rely on dopamine to get you there.

None of this is particularly groundbreaking or new, but sometimes a different framing can cause a lightbulb moment. So I started thinking of all the things I want to show up for, even when I don’t feel motivated. And here’s some of the list, and thoughts on how I can develop the discipline to do them.

Showing up for my physical self:
-Daily yoga. (Check – I do this by knowing that it’s the first thing I do in the morning)
-Sleep, specifically going to bed early. (I’m terrible at this – I need to be more disciplined about having a set bedtime. Maybe if it can be a time to be in bed, even if it’s with a book when I don’t want to go to sleep?)
-Eating fruits and vegetables with every meal. (Check – I stock the fridge with fruits and veggies and cut some up for myself every day when I’m prepping food for the kids. I can’t make them eat veggies, if I don’t do it myself.)
-Running or strength training every day. (working on this. Motivation is very weak on this one. I think I need a set time. I’ve been running in the morning with the kids following me on their bikes, but not sure if this will still work once school starts.)

Showing up for my mental self:
– journal
-paint/play piano
-write
-read
All these, I think, are about finding consistent time to do it. But there are only certain hours in the day. Some could fit into a weekly practice, though.

Showing up for my financial self:
– Monthly financial admin days to pay bills and review payments and any other financial housekeeping.
-monthly financial check ins with the Husband.
-Double check my pay stubs.

-not buying things impulsively and mindlessly
Again, I think a lot of these are all about scheduling and sticking to it. I think it’s hard for me to stay on track with some of these things because it’s very computer based and I tend to get distracted on the computer. Also finding time to meet with the Husband when we both feel like we have the mental capacity to talk finances is hard. But maybe we just have to schedule the time, and set the bar low – like 15 mins to look at the bank account together to start and then scale up from there? Or maybe we meet for lunch once a month and go over everything?

Showing up for my Work Self:
-Focused times to get ahead with paperwork so it’s not last minute.
A lot of ink has been spilled about productivity and focus at work. For me, I need to embrace the mantra “create before consume” and eliminate distractions for even just 45-60 mins of concentrated work first thing when I get in. (I need to get up and stretch after that anyway.)

Showing up for my social circle and far away family:
-spending time with friends – in a group and one on one.
-responding to texts and phone calls.
-sending texts and phone calls when I haven’t heard from then in while.
-offering support when they need it

– sending my parents pictures and updates of the kids regularly
I think the way to be disciplined about this might be to make scheduled efforts to reach out. Maybe every morning I send a text to one person to say, “Thinking of you.” Once a month see if anyone wants to grab lunch.

Showing up for My Family (Okay – some of these are a little more abstract, but I do think that for me it’s easy to neglect my family when I’m tired or busy or stressed. I think, “Oh, I’ll give them my attention once tech week is over”, as I rush out the door. And then when I do get home, it’s hard for me to remember to be loving. I want to figure out ways to show up for them when I’m not home on evenings and weekends and when my brain is full of work things. I don’t want to get prescriptive about these things, but along the lines of motivation vs. discipline – just because gestures of affection and connection and automatic and pre=planned, it doesn’t make them any less sincere. )
-Calling home on my dinner break. (I used to have an alarm at 6pm that was labelled “call home” so that I would remember to do this on long days at work. I should re-instate this. Sometimes at work I get caught up with what is in front of me – if it’s a work thing or a great chat with a colleague about potato chips, what not – and I forget to call home.)
-Weekly family meetings. (We currently do these at 7:30am on Saturday mornings. They are a little painful, but it’s a good way of checking in about the week ahead and making sure everyone gets the bigger picture of what is going on.)
-Being kind even when I’m tired.
-Tell them they are doing great. Sincerely.
-Giving them hugs and kisses every day when I leave for work, even though I’m in a rush. Along those lines, getting up before the Husband leaves for work so that we can have even one moment of connection. He leaves for work at 7am, and some days it’s hard. But this is where I think discipline can help me.
-Sneaking into their bedroom to give them hugs and kisses every night when I get home, even if I’m bone tired and they’re asleep.
-family rituals: Rose/Buds/Thorns, movie night, family clean up time

Whoa that was a lot of brain dump on that topic. Thanks for coming along on the ride (if you’re still here…) I think my big take away from that exercise is to wake up earlier, scroll less, and schedule my life more. For someone who love to have the ability to be flexible and capriciousness (for myself – let’s be honest, I can’t stand it in others.), discipline is met with resistance. But I guess that’s the point. Discipline allows me to fight against that inertia of not wanting to do something when I’m not feeling motivated. I think the trick is to balance a disciplined life with one where I can also have a sense of spontaneity and flexibility.

Grateful For – this week’s gratitudes, many tech week related:

-Tech week hero- The Husband, for recovering my files. The night before our first onstage rehearsal, my computer died at 9:30pm. I was only half way finished the wardrobe running paperwork and hadn’t saved the document into the cloud. (The wardrobe running is the document that tells the wardrobe and wig/make-up crew when people change clothes, what they are changing into and out of, where they will do this change, and how much time they have to do the change. For this show, because there are so many people and so many different costumes, the wardrobe running is a 10 page document.) Cue despair. For me, this was the ultimate version of the worst possible time for one’s computer to die. I mean it was such a horrific thing to happen, I couldn’t even have a meltdown because I just needed to finish the paperwork so I could give it to the crew for the next day. The Husband, calmly let me use his laptop and took my laptop to see if he could get it to turn back on. Meanwhile I started re-creating my paperwork from scratch. Eventually the Husband was able to pull my files from the computer and put it on a separate hard drive, even though the computer motherboard was dead. Thank goodness I didn’t have to re-create the entire wardrobe running from scratch!

-Duluth Trading Company tank tops with built in wireless bras. It was a hot and humid week to be doing outdoor opera last week. I usually don’t wear tank tops to work, but I made an exception for 80 degree humid weather. These tank tops from Duluth were my wardrobe MVP last week. They have built in bra cups so that I don’t have to worry about finding an appropriate bra to wear with them, and they are thick enough cotton that it doesn’t feel too skimpy to wear at work. I only have two, but I think I will order more next time they go on sale.

-I got a free t-shirt from our Fight Choreographer! I had asked him where I could buy swag from his business, and he showed up one day with this shirt for me!

He does fight and intimacy work for the stage.

-The crew, cast, creative team, and my co-workers for the show I worked on. Making opera magic happen! Having the opportunity to be part of making opera magic happen.

-my water bottle. And the coolers of ice and Gatorade that the theatre keeps backstage. Staying hydrated while I sweated buckets. Also the Coke that got me through the late nights.

– No more long awful commute. Friends, this will be the last time I complain about the commute to my summer job. At least until next summer. I’m glad I won’t have to drive those 18 miles again for a while. Though now I’ll have to find other times to listen to my audio book.

-This tomato sandwich because it represents friendship and summer:

The bread was from my co-worker at the opera. She is from out of town, and before she left for her next gig, she gave me two big bags of food that she hadn’t finished.
The tomatoes are from our friend who doesn’t like tomatoes so all the tomatoes in his CSA he gives to us.
The sandwich features basil mayonnaise, the basil plucked fresh from the Husband’s garden.
And eating it all outside on out back patio.
All these things made lunch just that much more poignant and full of love.

Looking Forward to:
-School starts in a week. Eeeep! I’m excited to start the new school year. I still have to get school supplies (note: this is done), and assess the clothing situation for the kids. They do all still have backpacks from last year so I don’t have to worry about getting new backpacks since that is often where the pickings are slim in mid to late August.

-Renaissance Faire!!!! Opens this weekend. We’re going to go Labor Day Monday, I think, for our annual Ren Faire Trip. Looking forward to shows and feats and turkey legs and people watching.

-Peaches in January. I spent Sunday canning peaches I had bought when there was a sale at the Farmer’s market. I kind of messed up and didn’t temper the first batch of jars and two of them cracked when I put them in the water bath. It was slightly alarming as I’d never experienced that before. I had to empty the canning pot, removing the broken glass and peaches floating the the water bath, and reheat the water again. So I have only 6.5 jars of peaches for this winter and lessons learned for next time. The kids wanted to eat the canned peaches immediately, but I said they couldn’t eat them until January at the latest.

-Lenten book club. Well, it’s not Lent anymore, and it’s not really a book club, but the group of ladies that started a Lenten book club has decided to continue to meet through the year to read and discuss life and spiritual things. This month’s reading is the parable of the Good Samaritan coupled with the story of Mary and Martha. I’m looking forward to a night of community and discussion.

What We Ate:
Sunday: Falafel sandwich and oysters. The stage management team went out to dinner together between rehearsals. The stage manager paid for my dinner, which was very nice of her.

Monday: Tofu and eggplant stir fry with Udon noodles. The Husband cooked, using some of the tenderest sweetest eggplants of the season that I had picked up from the Farmer’s Market.

Tuesday: Chicken Mole tacos leftover from the week before. I worked this evening and brought a salad from home – marinated beans, spinach, and arugula.

Wednesday: I had the same salad at work. Not quite sure what the rest of the family had.

Thursday: I went to a happy hour farewell gathering for a co-worker and had a BLT slider and fries. The family had mac n cheese, I think.

Friday: I had the same marinated beans, spinach, and arugula salad at work. The family had pizza and watched Star Wars: New Hope.

Saturday: dumplings and green beans and Glee.

Sunday: Tortellini and red sauce with roasted zucchini on the side. I sliced the zucchini into rounds, tossed them with salt, garlic powder, smoked paprika, oregano, and olive oil. Roasted for 15 minutes. Stuck parmesan cheese and basil in the food processor and then sprinkled it on the zucchini for the last five minutes or so of roasting. It was delicious. The kids ate the whole pan. I should have made more.

Hope you’re week is going well as the seasons change. I guess the season of life, if not the actual season. Here the weather has been distinctly on the cool side, that is tricking me into fall feelings, but I bet there are still warmer days in store.

Have you ever seen Jaws? Backpacks – Did you (or your kids) get new backpacks every school year? What are you disciplined about? What do you feel motivated about? Any tips for finding discipline for the things on my list?

Weekly recap + what we ate: July so far – Fourth of July, re-entry, camp, swim, work

I started to write this post almost two weeks ago, but then there was some glitch with my website and error messages, and I felt a little bit of despair. I despaired for a whole day, wondering if this wasn’t a sign from the universe that my little corner of the internet had run its course and that I should just let it go. Then the Husband told me to stop wallowing and just contact tech support. Which I did and the issue was fixed in less than thirty minutes. (Bluehost’s issue, not mine.) But the whole thing did make me think about if I wanted to still show up here and word vomit into the universe. Between being in South Africa and the site being down, I had a bit of time to think about all that. And you know what? I really think I do want to keep showing up. At least for a little while.

Anyhow, here’s the old news – some of this was drafted weeks ago, before life got busy and my site went down – : The 13 year old and I have been back from South Africa for a while and back into summer camps and swim team.(Note: This weekend was the last week of summer swim team season, but I didn’t want to go back and rewrite this whole post… so you get the old news.) We got back late the evening of July 3rd. The Husband picked us up; the two little kids were at at Taiwanese cultural camp with my mother. It was their first overnight away camp type experience and I was afraid they would not adjust well, but all reports were that they had a great time and there was NO CRYING! Wow. Considering that the 5 year old bawled all the way to the airport when dropping the 13 year and I off for South Africa, I had my concerns, but apparently Taiwan camp beats mom and big sister.

July 4th was pretty chill since it was just the 13 year old, the Husband, and I. We went to see F1 – it was a quintessential summer popcorn movie. The whole movie, set in the world of Formula 1 racing actually felt very much like a cowboy movie – the lonely man with the checkered past comes in to save the day, then rides off into the sunset. It was very entertaining. An air conditioned movie theatre, popcorn and cherry Coke for lunch – that just screams summer to me. Afterwards we went to buy bike helmets – our bike helmet were five or six years old and needed replacing. That evening we had pizza and movie night. Finding pizza take-out on July 4th was a bit of an ordeal as all our usual places were closed. We ended up ordering Little Caesar’s. We watched Theatre Camp (funny, but I admit I fell asleep for the last little bit – jet lag) and the Capitol Fourth fireworks on TV and went to bed.

Saturday, we went to pick up the two little kids and my mom from Taiwan camp, with a stop at Longwood Gardens along the way. The weather was hot and sunny, and the gardens were a riot of colour. I played our rainbow game, and it didn’t take long to find all the colours. I even found blue. It’s kind of a purple-y blue, but the flower is called “Blue Bedder” so I’m counting it:

That evening, we went to the Taiwan Camp’s Taiwan Night Performances. All the kids groups did either a dance number or a skit. Even the parents, grandparents, and staff each had their own dance number. Some of those Taiwanese grandmothers have amazing dance moves. The two littles barely said hi to us, they were having so much fun with their groups. We actually skipped out of Taiwan Night early to go to our hotel for the night.

The next morning, we had a bit of time before we had to pick everyone up, so we had a leisurely hotel breakfast (why are the waffles at the free hotel breakfast so tasty???), went to a garden store, then we went to a tea/coffee shop and the 13 year old and I got boba and played Othello. Have you ever played Othello? My brother and I used to play it together all the time – it’s so simple yet so absorbing. I might have to put it on the Christmas list for the kids (and me).

We picked up the kids from the University campus where Taiwan camp was being held, and had dinner with them at the cafeteria. It has been an age since I was in a college cafeteria/dining hall, and the experience filled me with nostalgia and wonder. I remember those days of endless cereal and soft serve. Of getting your food on trays and then looking for a place to sit. This dining hall was so much bigger than the one I had in college and it kind of blew me away – there were two salad bars, three hot bars (one which was vegan, which definitely wasn’t a thing when I wen to college), a grill, a pizza bar, cereal bar, a ramen bar, dessert bar with soft serve. The choices were mind-boggling. It really made me think of the economics of serving massive amounts of people.

After lunch, we picked up everyone’s suitcases from their dorm room – another nostalgia trip – remember communal living? Common rooms and late night hang outs? Roommates. The barebones furniture and bare walls. The dorms they stayed in had bathrooms in each double, which was also another upgrade from when I was in college with the bathrooms down the hall, shared among eight or ten people.

On the way home we stopped at the Pringel Family Creamery for ice cream and our annual end of school questions and answer session. The actual last days of school were so scattered and what with prepping for our trip, we never got around to our annual tradition. So we decided that this would be a good time to get everyone on record as to how school went. I had cone that was half dark chocolate ice cream and half strawberry, and it was delicious.

We arrived home tired and sticky, but the little kids very much wanted to go to raft night at the pool, so we unpacked and then I found the inflatable ring, blew it up with my own lungs and we went to the pool. So all in all, a very full Fourth of July weekend. Lots of summer things going on.

The rest of the week was spent driving the kids to camp and the pool. South Africa is 6 hours earlier than D.C., so I had a little bit of jet lag – mostly waking up at 5:30am, which I actually kind of liked. I don’t know if that will continue, but it really makes me think of how waking up an hour before the kids really changes how my mornings shake out. (note: the naturally waking at 5:30am is no longer a thing. Now I’m dragging myself out of bed at 6:00am.)

Other life updates-

We had our last swim meet this past weekend. I love swim team season, but I’m so glad to be done for a while. Fun thing, though, at the pool this past weekend, the 5 year old and the 8 year old started to figure out how to dive. The 13 year old helped them and gave them pointers, and I just loved watching her encourage her younger siblings. The possibility of all three kids being on swim team next year is not as wild as I had thought. As for me, I can’t dive myself, so I’m thinking maybe this summer I’ll get the 13 year old to teach me too.

Since the 5 year old is no longer in daycare, I had a few weeks with just her at home while the other kids were at camp. It’s always fun to have some one on one time with a kid. We went to the park, rode the carousel, she came with me to work a few times, she showed up in some Zoom calls, and we did a lot of watercolour painting. It was such a soothing activity. And so pretty too!

The big curveball that was thrown me this summer was that three days before I left for South Africa, I got an email asking if I was available to step in last minute for an Assistant Stage Manager on a show. The inquiry was from the opera company that I usually work for during the summer – I hadn’t booked work with them this year because the South Africa trip conflicted with the shows they wanted to offer me. This third show, though, would be after we came back. The job offer certainly threw me for a loop.

In a mad flurry, I talked to the Husband. In addition to the childcare issue, there is a time issue. The job features a long commute and lots of evening rehearsals. My working the summer would also make the evenings harder for him. Luckily rehearsals don’t start until after swim season is over, because swim practice and meets are a major immovable summer time block. I started looking for camps or sitters or whatever else childcare options and seeing if we could cover things since I had NO camps lined up for the two little kids for those weeks. Well, the plan had been for the kids to be at Camp Mom.

I thought about if I really wanted this job. Truth, the show itself is not on my bucket list – I’ve done this opera four times already and it’s actually one of my least favorite operas to work on. Also, I had been looking forward to a nice leisurely summer at home with the two little kids – pool time and nature time and MarioKart and books and eating ice cream and peaches and learning to swim and ride bikes. Though I was sad not to be working, I was leaning into SUMMER with my kids. Ultimately, though, financially it’s hard to turn down five weeks of work. I think there will still be pockets of time to do summer and life things, though I don’t think we’ll get to go camping this summer and that makes me a little sad. I do feel a little guilt that the kids won’t get as summery a summer as I had planned, but that’s okay. We’ll still do what we can. People work all summer all the time and still find ways to lean into it. Heck, once you grow up and summer break isn’t a thing, is summer as summer-y?

So we figured out summer childcare – it’s not ideal, but it will do. This kids will have lots of time lazing about with no plans. I told the opera company that I could take the job and we are now just starting the first week of rehearsal. Like I said, it’s not my favorite opera, but the director is a delight to work with, and the rest of the stage managers are great – old friends or about to become old friends. The rehearsal schedule is mostly afternoons and evenings, so I think I’ll still have time to take the kids to the pool in the morning before I got to work. And, let’s be honest, I really do enjoy being in the rehearsal room – watching people create stories and characters and music.

-Leaving you with a bit of poetry that perfectly captured something I never could express, as poetry does. From “The Happiest Day” by Linda Pastan:

I didn’t even guess that I was happy.
The small irritations that are like salt
on melon were what I dwelt on,
though in truth they simply
made the fruit taste sweeter.

Read the full poem here.

Grateful For:
-The family being together again. Between South Africa and Taiwan Camp, the family hasn’t been together for 14 days. I think this is the longest that our family unit has been apart. It makes me wonder if the kids will ever go to sleepaway camp and leave the Husband and I at home kid-free for any amount of time during the summer. The 13 year old has no interest – it would probably have to be a special theatre or basketball camp for her to go at this point.

-That the summer storm stopped in time for swim practice. I was home alone with the kids one night – the Husband had gone to a baseball game – and it looked like swim was going to be cancelled because of thunder, but the weather cleared up in time for the last half of swim practice to happen.

-Peaches. I missed out on the Peach Truck this year, but I still managed to find a farmstands with sweet sweet peaches on the way home from camp drop off one day.

-Watermelon. Cold and juicy.

-Swim Team and the people who run our swim team. It is so so so much work to run the swim team. Last week’s swim meet was over four hours long (we often host a neighboring pool since their pool is not big enough to host meets, so it makes our meets really long since it’s three teams competing, not just two.) And yes, there were times when it just felt interminable. But at one point, in the third hour, I took a moment to be grateful for everything around me – the parent volunteers; the kids trying their best and being supportive of their team mates and of their competitors; our amazing Team Rep; the enthusiastic coaches; the night sky so clear; the beauty of the pool after the sun has gone down, lit only by pool lights. And I was really grateful that we had this opportunity to be be part of this community and to be in this moment.

-GPS. OMG – the traffic on the way to camp and work has been soul sucking. When I first started taking the kids to camp/commuting to this job, it was 2021. A lot of people were working from home and the commute was a breeze. It is no longer a breeze. The first day of camp, was a breeze – we were there in 20 minutes. The second day, I made the mistake of not using Google Maps (my preferred traffic/map app) to get to camp – I often don’t use Google Maps if I know where I’m going. wump wump. There was a huge slowdown on the beltway and we were 15 minutes late to camp. Another day, a tractor trailer overturned on the Beltway at 4am, and at 8:30am it was still not clear – that day we were half an hour late to camp. (side note, the tractor trailer was carrying mushrooms, which spilled all over the beltway. This little bit of info tickles me – I wonder if there are going to be new mushroom species alongside the Beltway now?). Every day it’s always something. I haven’t been able to take the same way to camp two days in a row all week. I now know to check the map an hour before we leave for camp. BUT… I am grateful for GPS/GoogleMaps and that it gets me where I need to go, even if it means driving through some unknown neighborhoods.

-That my blog/website is up and working again.

Looking Forward To:
– Sitting in our new furniture! The chairs that we impulsively bought over Memorial Day Weekend arrived. I’m especially looking forward to reading in the grey chair – the tag literally said “Cuddle Chair”. To be honest, we didn’t quite know where we would put it when we bought it. The floral chair had always been destined for the sunroom. The grey chair was a last minute purchase – it was on clearance and it were just so cozy in the store that we knew it would be perfect for curling up and reading, either alone or with the kids. It’s gone in the living room and I kind of love it there.

-Starting rehearsals. Looking forward to working with familiar colleagues, and meeting new people.

-The end of Summer Swim Season. I love swim season – see above – but it does take up a huge chunk of time and energy in the summer. I’m looking forward to when it is over and we can go back to going to the pool at our own pace and spending some evenings at home watching New Girl. (Okay, given that I just took a job that has me gone most evenings, we might not be having as many New Girl nights as I originally planned.)

-Reading this book:

It’s set in the area of Los Angeles County that I grew up in, and a lot of it feels so familiar. Plus the writing and the story are so good. Trans violin prodigy running away from home! Deals with the devil! Potters! Alien refugees disguised as Vietnamese donut shop owners! You wouldn’t think all the narrative threads work together, but they do.

-Listening to this book on my commute:

This one doens’t feels as effortless as other Lily Chu books I’ve read/listened to, but I’m still enjoying it. Plus Phillipa Soo and John Cho narrate, were definitely a draw.

If anyone has other engaging things for me to listen to on my commute, I’d love suggestions! (Yesterday it took TWO HOURS for me to get from home, drop the 5 year old at camp, and arrive at work. I was an hour late for rehearsal. On the other hand, I got through a fifth of this book.)

What We Ate so far in July (our last weeks of pool dinner!)
Sunday: Wraps and smoothies at the pool.

Monday: Dumplings and endemame at the pool

Tuesday: Quinoa Taco Salad and Misir Wot (Ethiopian red lentils). This was meant to be eaten at the pool, but this was the night it rained, so we at at home. Vegan.

Wednesday: Green frittata and Pillsbury crescent rolls. We had some chard to eat up, but chard is a hard sell for the kids if they can identify it. So we threw it into the blender with the eggs and had green egg frittata. And the kids ate it!

Thursday: Sausage Rolls at the pool. Okay, this was kind of a fail, even though I liked it. Inspired by our time in England, I made sausage rolls – I thought it would make a perfect pool dinner with being portable and filling. Only, I added broccoli to try to get some vegetables in. Everyone said the broccoli was overpowering. Oh well, more for me. Maybe next time I just have the broccoli on the side. (The method is pretty easy – steam broccoli, combine it with raw sausage, fennel seeds, thyme, cheese. Lay out pastry dough (store bought), put sausage/broccoli/cheese filling in a line down the middle. Fold over dough to make sausage roll. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.)

Friday: Pizza and Glee

Saturday: Take out from our favorite Burmese restaurant. We ordered a lot of food and ate it as leftovers for days. Also watched You’ve Got Mail. I’ve never seen this movie before, can you believe? It was one of my goals this year to watch this movie. What a delightful and charming movie – why don’t they make rom coms like this anymore? Smart, bright, hopeful, and romantic. Like truly romantic. Not just “Let’s shag.” I mean Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan don’t even kiss until the very end of the movie! It managed to be formulaic and surprising all at the same time. And I’ve even seen the musical that it is sort of based on, so I knew what was going to happen.

Sunday: Leftover Burmese food.

Monday: Fried rice (made from the rice that came with the Burmese food) and dumplings. Eaten at home, swim practice was cancelled because of weather.

Tuesday: Vegan Pesto Pasta Salad and smoothies at the pool, for swim meet. (I actually went out for Happy Hour with friends and had a BLT.)

Wednesday: Fried Chicken (from Fryer’s Roadside) and steamed green beans. The kids have been itching for fried chicken, but I don’t love frying chicken at home – the grease is messy. So we had carry out and I supplemented with green beans from home.

Thursday: Sesame noodles at the pool. I should make sesame noodles more – the kids love it, and it’s easy to make ahead of time. I made the dressing in the morning and then just boiled noodles and added the cucumbers and shredded chicken once I was home from camp pick up.

Friday: Swim Team Spaghetti potluck. We brought watermelon. Tis the season.

Saturday: Pizza (carry out) and Pirates of the Caribbean 2. This movie was veeeeery long and featured a lot of creatures with very lumpy skin and dirt-caked skin, and greasy hair. I was entertained, but I can’t say that I enjoyed it much.

Sunday: Gnocchi with either pesto or red sauce. Steamed green beans to go with.

Hope you are having a lovely week of both salt and sweetness!
How is your July going? What do you remember about your college dining hall? What about your college dorm? What’s do you think is the most romantic movie you’ve seen? Do you use GPS all the time, even when you know where you are going?

Bi- Weekly recap + what we ate: a week of outfits

Last week and this past week was one of those “so many random thoughts came into my head this week”-kind of week. So here’s a random dump of various goings ons since the last week of recaps…

-We went duckpin bowling last weekend. The bowling alley was like stepping back in time. At one point, the guy who brought us our food asked if we could keep the kids from leaning on the ball returns because, “those are original, from the 1950s.” The bowling alley had a deal for six bowlers plus shoes, a large pizza and a pitcher of soda for $105, which seemed like a steal for an afternoon of fun for our family of five.

step back in time! We have to score by hand and math!

-We’ve started rehearsal. I’m working on an opera set in World War I, so my google searches lately have been things like, “1900s German Telegram” and “gas masks” and “1900s pencils”. And my photo roll is full of snapshots from rehearsal as I communicate with the prop master about our rehearsal needs. Here’s a glimpse:

In case you couldn’t tell, that white blob is a set of rehearsal bagpipes that I fashioned out of a cotton sack and paper and tape because the one we ordered for the show have’t arrived yet. It’s some of my best work. I have to admit I am mad good at making fake props. (I even wrote a post on it…)

-Swim season is finished! Even though I’m so glad that we no longer have to get to the pool every day, I’m a little sad to move on from that part of the summer because for all the complicated logistics, it was fun watching the 12 year old swim and I actually liked having an excuse to get into the pool four nights a week. The 12 year old received one of the Coach’s Choice awards – I’m so proud of her! Every kid also recieves a paper plate award – the 4 year old got “Best Bobber”, the 7 year old got “Best Flutter Kick” and the 12 year old got “Butterflyer at Heart”. How awesome is it that the coaches get together and think of an award for everyone?!

-The schlep every morning to get people places. This is what our foyer looks like in the morning as we get ready to leave:

I have lunchbox, purse, laptop bag, totebag with running clothes in it (in case I have a long dinner break). The kids each have a backpack and lunch. The 7 year old was at skating camp last week, so he also has helmet, winter coat, and his skates. It’s like every day is an expedition. I thought this was funny – him trekking up the hill to the ice arena. For the record, there is a set of stairs just to the right of this picture – he just chose not to use them.

-The 12 year old’s musical theatre showcase was so much fun! I have to admit I might have mouthed the words to her solo in the Shrek scene along with her as she sang it. In addition to musical numbers, they performed some book (spoken) scenes as well. I had kind of dismissed SpongeBob Square Pants the Musical without knowing anything about it, but the kids performed some scenes from it and they were pretty funny. I would be intrigued to see the show. I’m glad we signed the 12 year old up for this camp – I think she’s at an age that she does better at camps where she’s receiving training in something specific rather than general “have fun” camps. Though I still have hopes that she will want to go to a sleepaway camp at some point too.
Also, last week, the theatre camp program took all the kids to New York to see Hamilton. How cool is that? They left on the 8am Vamoose bus and came home at 11pm. Everything – the bus, the show, and dinner – was covered by the camp fees. We sent her with a bagged lunch and some money. It seems like such a milestone for us – we’ve never sent our kid on a trip like this without us. (Well, when she was a baby, my parents would take her to California during the summers, but this feels different because she’s expected to behave and make good choices on her own….) She had an amazing time. But also – it made me think that maybe a day trip to NYC to see a show is a pretty easy thing and I should do that with her at some point this fall.

-My aunt passed away last week. She was my father’s oldest sister. We weren’t exactly close – she lived in Houlong, a small town in Taiwan, and I’ve seen her maybe ten times in my life. But whenever we went to visit she was always so welcoming and generous with her time, making sure that I was enjoying myself, constantly feeding me, taking us around the town on her little scooter. I suppose I am getting to an age where aunts and uncles will soon start to pass – all of my father’s siblings live in Taiwan, and it seems a little unreal to me to hear news of their passings. Since I so rarely go to Taiwan, it is easy to forget, and to think that my aunt will always be there, and that I will see her when I go back this winter.

-On a lighter note – this tweet made me laugh. It is so so so true for us too:

The tweet was linked through this New York Times article on people’s grocery shopping habits. The article was super interesting and indulged a certain voyeur in me. My main takeaway was that Americans buy a lot of cheese. I feel like we buy a lot of cucumbers, apples, berries, and bread. And yes, cheese.
What can’t you wait to stop spending money on?

– Taiwanese Sausage! There are many boba places near work, and one of them also sells food, including Taiwanese sausage. It brings back such memories of being at the Night Markets in Taiwan. I’m trying to limit my boba consumption this summer, but Taiwanese sausage might be a dangerous gateway.

-another food related thing – My favorite salad these days – With the summer glut of zucchini, I’ve been making shaved zucchini salad for lunches. No real recipe, but this is what I do- with a peeler, shave the zucchini into ribbons. Add, salt, pepper, olive oils and red wine vinegar (or whatever acid. I would also use lemons if we had lemons). Mix it up to make sure the ribbons are all dressed. Sprinkle with fresh mint, walnuts, parmesan cheese. Top with an egg for protein. I also threw in some lettuce because we had some to use up. It’s been my go to lunch for the past two weeks. This is my entry in Tobia’s summer salad challenge :).

A Week of Outfits:
The Sunday before the first day of rehearsal, I put together 6 outfits to get me through the week because I knew the mornings would be really busy with three drop offs . It made my part of the morning so much easier not to have to think of what to wear. I’ve been hearing a lot about “Three Words” styling method, where you choose three words to describe your sense of style. There are a variety of the theme floating around, but one version is – one word that is your baseline style, one word that is describes your style aspirations, and one word that describes how you want to feel in your clothes. (I’ve read somewhere that “comfortable” isn’t a style word because we all want to be comfortable.. Because otherwise that would be my word for all three categories.) My words always change, but I think at the moment, I’m going to choose – Colourful, effortless, and playful. I will say, I have a few requirements of my clothes – I have to be able to move easily in it since I move and lift things a lot in rehearsals. Things have to be long enough that I don’t flash the world when I bend down or sit on the ground. Though I do sometime wear bike shorts underneath if it seems dicy. No button or things that I have to zip up the back. I have to get dressed by myself and have never mastered the art of zipping up the back of my own dress. Natural fibers if possible. Elastic waist bands. Pockets. Not black. I wear black a lot when I’m backstage so I try to avoid it when I’m not backstage. Machine washable.

I thought I’d post here the week of outfits. Excuse the bad photos – I’m by no means a fashion blogger. Think of this as “What does a middle aged stage manager mother of three wear?”

Monday: I didn’t take a picture on Monday but it was my blue Wool& Sierra tank dress with a flower patterned Uniqlo shirt over it. Because I’m too lazy top put it back on, here is it on the hanger:

Tuesday – Linen shirt dress. I love this dress because it is so easy breezy. Also – the sleeves are long. I’m trying to cover my arms, or at least my left arm because it gets a lot of sun during my daily commute, so I want a little bit of protection. This is the upper limit of short for me.

Masking because of a COVID precaution. It really took me back…

Wednesday: Poplin stiped skirt, Uniqlo shirt. The skirt is a new purchase – it was on the sale rack at JCPenney’s for $15. I love a nice skirt with pockets and an elastic waistband – there was a whole rack of these skirts, and I thought, “Why aren’t people buying this perfect for summer skirt?!?!?” The label says dirndl skirt, which I thought was funny.

Thursday: Hand me down cardigan from my cousin, yellow and white striped t-shirt from Pact, orange crinkle pants from Old Navy.

Friday: Red Wool& dress with J.Crew poplin men’s button up. The shirt is thrifted and I love everything about it. When I first saw it on the Men’s rack, I thought it had been mishung, but it really is a men’s shirt. Also – I really love my new hair with sunglasses.

Saturday – Was the day off, so no picture. I spent it in running shorts, a sports bra, and a running tank, on the off chance I got out for a run. Which didn’t happen.

Sunday: Olive green shirt dress (Uniqlo) with hat. I love this dress – so easy to wear. It does come with a belt, but I never belt it. I actually bought it when i was pregnant even though it’s not maternity wear. I thought the outfit needed a little something, so I threw on a hat. I used to have many summer hats, but I can only find this one blue one right now. I’ll have to look for the others. At least this hat matches my shoes. (On the note of shoes – I alternate between two pair of shoes in the summer – a pair of aqua Allbirds and a blue slip on Oofos. These are both getting a little worn in the soles, so I’ll need to replace them soon. I’m annoyed that Allbirds now only come in boring grey/black/neutral colours.)

Grateful For (It’s a long list this time because I realized I have two weeks worth here.):
-The Husband. He’s been the primary parent while I’ve been in rehearsals – he’s picked up kids, stayed home with sick ones, arranged play dates, made dinner, made needed purchases, scheduled work on the house, paid contractors… a lot. I feel downright lazy for only having to get the kids to school/camp then go to work every day.

-A box of veggies. Our neighbor was going out of town – you know, just an impulsive trip to the Bahamas like you do when your kids are all older and at camp – so he asked if we would feed his fish and also take this box of veggies from the Farmer’s market. Yes please!

-That I’ve lived to have seen – twice each – a woman run for President and a person of colour run for President. (This might be pre-mature thinking, but probably not.) Look, I don’t care about any one person’s politics. I mean I have my opinions (left leaning, in case it wasn’t clear), but I’m always curious and interested in what people think across the spectrum. I do care, though, that we live in a world where people should see aspects of themselves represented on a national and international stage. Growing up, I wanted to be blond because success was often embodied by beautiful blond people. I’m glad that, hopefully, that is not what achievement has to look like to my kids.

-Google Translate. The current opera is in three different languages since it tells the story of the Scottish, French, and German soldiers. My French is passable enough that I can understand the text, but my German is not (I only took two semesters of German in college.) Enter the miracle of Google Translate – I can just point it at the text, and it translates it for me! Now I know exactly why we need a telegram for that scene and what it should say.

-The Lost and Found. I swear, every day the 7 year old comes home from camp with one less item than when I sent him in the morning. Thank goodness, the camp puts the lost and found out front by the sign in table.

-Other people driving. The past two weeks have been a lot of driving for everyone. Because I work so far away, the Husband had taken over driving to swim practice – so grateful for him for doing that because it is really busy. Then this week, my friend has been driving the 12 year old to her camp because her theatre camp starts at the exact same time as the 7 year old’s ice skating camp. Since my friend’s kids go to a camp not too far from theatre camp, she’s been dropping the 12 year old in the morning. A million thanks to her for doing that.

– The singer M who let me into the building when I had left my swipe card inside after hours. As I was leaving work one day, I went to reach for my car keys, and realized that they were in my purse, which were in the rehearsal hall in the building, the doors of which were swinging shut behind me. Cue PANIC. It was 9pm in the evening and everything was locked and everyone was gone. But then, I saw a singer coming back from dinner to pick up his car, and I have never been so grateful to see a singer in my life. Relief washed over me. He was able to swipe me in and I retrieved my stuff.

-Hand me down bras! I need to re-evaluate my bra game – I’m still wearing nursing bras and my youngest kid will soon be five. But to be fair, those nursing bras are the most comfortable bras I’ve ever worn. When my cousin was visiting, she gave me a whole bag of bras that she had outgrown. Last week, I pulled them out to try on, and they are actually the same Uniqlo bras that I used to buy before I got pregnant with my third kid. Only she bought them in Taiwan so all the labels are in Chinese so it took me a while to realize they were the same bras. What a nice and useful coincidence.

Looking forward to:
-A weekend alone/ hanging out with a friend. The Husband is taking the kids out on an overnight, but I have to work, so I’ll stay behind. I’ll have a glorious day to myself, though. Things on my “want to do” list:
– hang out with my friend, probably hiking
– set the thermostat at 76.
– clean one thing. Either my desk or my craft table or the toy room?
– paint some cards.
– make a batch of hard boiled eggs for next week.
-maybe bake something else.
-read
-write recaps ffor our Maine trip
– run, or maybe even swim?
That’s a lot – I probably won’t get to all that, though.

– We have a friend coming in to town to come see my show in a few weeks. I always love having company. Especially company that is forgiving of the mess and chaos that is life with three kids.

-The Olympics!!! Always fun to watch and hear the stories.

-Started this Audiobook. I’ve never read Emilie Henry, and when I was looking for a new audiobook for my commute I saw this was read by Julia Whelan, so thought, “If nothing else, the narration will be good!” The 12 year old borrowed Book Lovers on audio and has been listening to it, so I figured it wouldn’t be bad to see what all the buzz is about. So far I’ve laughed out loud many times.

What We Ate (two weeks worth – it’s been a very … functional few weeks of eating.)
Monday- Sandwiches at the pool for the Husband and kids. I had veggies and fruit when I got home from work

Tuesday: Chicken salad wraps at the pool. I had tomato furikake sandwiches at home when I got off work. Basically mayo, sliced tomato, furikake seasoning on toasted bread. It was tasty and summer.

Wednesday: Meet the Husband and two little kids for dinner at a hot dog/burger restaurant. I arrived on the late side and ate chili cheese fries and leftover hot dog buns and sausage. I often realize that when we go to restaurants, I don’t really need to order myself food, I can just eat what the kids don’t eat…

Thursday: I ate leftover chicken salad wraps from Tuesday. Not sure what the rest of the family ate.

Friday: Swim Team Pasta Dinner Potluck. I made sesame noodles w/ chicken, cucumber, and peppers. I always feel self conscious about bringing sesame noodles to the Pasta Potluck, but it’s really easy to make and I think it makes a nice break for people who don’t eat tomatoes… (There were leftovers which I was happy to eat all week>)

Saturday: Pizza take out and The Frog Prince. (Which I might have slept through because I was really tired by this point of the week.)

Sunday: Leftover pizza for me. The rest of the family had pizza at the swim team awards banquet.

Monday: Eggplant stir fry with fish. The Husband cooked. This was really tasty as leftovers.

Tuesday: Grilled Chicken drumsticks, steamed broccoli, and leftover eggplant stir fry. I was working this night, so I marinated the chicken ahead of time and the Husband grilled it when he got home. I did a whole Costco size pack of drumsticks so the kids could take them for lunch.

Wednesday: The family went out to eat and I met them at ice cream when I got off work. I had a sandwich for dinner… that is an ice cream sandwich.

Thursday: Green beans and box Mac N Cheese for the Husband and kids. I had leftover sesame noodles at work.

Friday: Chinese Take-out for the Husband and kids and some friends they had over. I had, again, sesame noodles at work.

Okay – I’m off to continue my child-free day!

What’s your favorite summer outfit? Ten points if you can tell me what that stick like prop is.

Weekly recap + what we ate: School’s Out!

I guess summer has begun!

The 11 year old had her 5th Grade Promotion Ceremony. The Husband and I both went. Oh my goodness. There might have been some tears. You know, those happy tears of, “Wasn’t she just a little baby? and I can’t believe that she’s made it all the way through elementary school! and She’s growing up and moving forward and I can’t always be there for her!” You know, that kind of stuff. Man, if I’m this blubbering mess at her elementary school promotion ceremony, I can’t imagine what kind of mess I’ll be as she gets older. I can’t believe that I will have at least two more Promotion/Graduation ceremonies to go though for this kid. More, if she finished college. And I’ll also have to go through this with the two other kids.

There were so many nice touches to the ceremony. The Principal reminding the students to “Find your superpower and always always always remember to be kind.” And then reminding them that they will always be a Sea Turtle (the school mascot). (okay – I might be tearing up remembering that bit.) As each student’s name was read out, the teacher also read a quote by the student – things like favorite memories, advice, hopes for the world. Some of my favorites:
“The world would be a more awesome place if there were more male teachers.”
“My advice for kindergarteners would be to enjoy recess because you don’t have it in middle school.”
“I will always remember to dial in”

There were also a lot of kids who mentioned their friends and teachers in their quote. It made me realize that even though learning is important, what really makes an impact are the friendship and human connections that the kids make – the people who make a child feel seen and heard. I feel like the 11 year old was fortunately place in the pandemic timeline – she had three years of in person learning before the pandemic and then she had a year and a half of in person learning afterwards. While the year of virtual learning was certainly disruptive, she could start and end elementary school surrounded by people and not online.

At the end of the ceremony, the school has a “clap out” where all the other grades line the hallways and the 5th graders walk by every classroom and high five all the other students. And it ended with cake. Then lots of pictures and good-byes and some phone numbers exchanged for future playdates.

That was the big event for the week.

Well, actually only one kid went to school on the Last Day of School. The 11 year old stayed home – the principal said that no one expected fifth graders to show up on the last half day. And the 3 year old had the day off for teachers in service. She actually is quite confused as to why she still has to go to school/ daycare this summer while her siblings don’t. The six year old went to his last day of kindergarten. Whew. We made it.

Other fun things:

This snapshot of life moment: The two younger kids were playing together, while I wrapped a few things up before I took them to a pool. Then I hear the 6 year old say to the 3 year old , “You need a stick! Go get a stick!” And the three year old runs into the kitchen and grabs a chopstick. Now whenever my kids grab sticks, some spidey sense tells me to be a little wary.
“What do you need a stick for?” I asked.
“To wave it!”
I follow them to the living room, and this is what I saw:

The three year old “conducting” while the six year old “plays”. It delighted me to my music loving heart!

For Better of For Worse:

I found this battered copy of a For Better or For Worse volume in a Little Free Library and immediately snatched it up. I grew up reading Lynn Johnston’s comic strip For Better or For Worse in my local newspaper. The family structure was very similar to my own – mom, dad, older brother, younger sister. And the younger sister was about my age as the strip progressed. I always found it so relatable – just an ordinary family and the gentle ironies of life. Johnston has such a gift for seeing the humour in the mundane. There are certain strips that have always stuck in my head. The one where the mother responds to the father’s complaint of the kids dog-earing books, by saying, “At last they are reading!” has always stayed with me.

The 11 year old has also been reading this slim volume and one day she showed me the page where pre-teen Elizabeth is in a prickly foul mood, slamming doors and growling at her parents, but then at the end of the day asks her mom for a hug. “Sometimes,” the 11 year old says to me, “That’s how I feel.” I just wanted to give her all the hugs.

This yummy breakfast: One day the kids wanted oatmeal for breakfast, which isn’t something we have a lot in the summer. They had frozen blueberries and maple syrup on theirs. I wanted a savory version, so I had eggs, ume plum vinegar, sesame oil, cilantro, and chili bamboo shoots on mine. Kind of like congee. I love chili bamboo shoots; I could eat them right out of the jar. But it’s one of those foods that I always forget that I like so I don’t have it too often. On the side, mango with tajin.

Lychees – I went to HMart for groceries the other day, and when I came home I realized that I have three versions of lychees:

There is my favorite Japanese gummy candy, then canned lychee because there is a lychee ice cream recipe that I want to try to make, and then fresh lychee, which we very rarely get, so I always buy some if I see them and they look good. I guess lychees are my favorite fruit! They are so sweet and juicy and have a nice chew to them that it’s just a really perfect eating experience for me. I’m sure the rarity makes them even more special too. They actually had lychees at Costco last week, but those aren’t as sweet at the ones from HMart.

Grateful for:
– My health. I’ve met a lot of people these past few weeks who are dealing with chronic health conditions, and I’ve been feeling really grateful that thanks mainly to genetics and good luck, I’ve always felt very good in my body. It’s also made me realize that medicine is not an exact science – my friends have gone through a battery of tests and visited many doctors and basically get a diagnosis of “Yup, you feel tired/have migraines/inexplicably vomit…” How mentally exhausting that must be, on top of not feeling physically well! I don’t want to come across a smug, but I’m realizing that I can’t take my ability to function without pain or discomfort for granted, especially as I get older. Health issues can be so mysterious and I could very well develop a chronic issue at anytime, so I’m grateful for every day that I’m healthy.

– The 11 year old’s elementary school and especially the staff and teacher. I had so many doubts about having the 11 year old switch schools for 5th grade. Clearly the partial Immersion program that she was in was not serving her well, but was a new school really the answer? What if she didn’t like the school? What if the kids at the new school were just as mean as the kids at the old school? Is it too big of an adjustment to make for the last year of elementary school? But it was absolutely the right decision, and honestly, one that we should have made sooner. The principal runs the school with the authoritative air of a benevolent ruler – a firm and kind man. The office staff is always happy to see people come in; they never act as if you’re being a bother. And the teachers all want to help kids learn and do well. This is our fourth elementary school experience and I’ll say that I didn’t find these things everywhere. The 11 year old found her spot and friends and one fun thing at the promotion ceremony was meeting all the people whom she connected with over the school year.

-The nice weather and the air clearing up. Luckily we only had about two days of really bad air here in the DC area, but then things were back to normal. With this week being tech week, I’m in the theatre at lot, and I haven’t been getting out to run. But I’m grateful that when I do get breaks, there is balmy weather- not quite grossly humid – and sunshine and shade and lush summer green for me to enjoy.

Looking Forward To: So the Husband has taken all three kids on trip. I’ve had to stay home because I’m working this week. It seems so luxurious to have the whole house to myself. These are things I’m looking forward to
– Reading! I went to the library last week on my day off and got a whole stack of books. I’m inspired by Coco who has been spending hours reading in the morning while her family is away!

– Cooking! I am going to cook and eat all the things that I don’t often get to cook when the family is at home – cauliflower, bok choy, fried rice, lots of vegetables. Tempeh. This is a big one. I’ve had tempeh in the fridge for longer than I care to admit, but no one likes tempeh. That’s not true, quite – no one likes the idea of tempeh, so I never make it. (They’re fine when I do finally make it but sometimes it’s not worth listening to the grousing). Also all the things that I want to eat, but the kids eat before I get to it. Like lychees.

– Cleaning out the guest room. This is my big “To Do” item while home by myself. We have family coming to visit in July and currently the guest room is clothes storage. I need to organize and put the clothes in bins and then put the clothes in the attic.

-Blog – finish my Amsterdam recaps.

-And then also all the other life admin stuff – camp forms, pay the bills, etc. I know this doesn’t really go on a “Looking forward to” list… but I’m looking forward to doing it without having a kid come up and interrupt me.

What We Ate – I still feel like every night I’ve had some variation of this conversation with the Husband:
Him: What can I make for dinner?
Me: Well there’s x, y, and z in the fridge.
Him: What can I do with that?
Me: … spits ball some complicated ideas.
Him: We’ll just have eggs.

In truth, he’s doing a great job of keeping the kids fed as I work into the evening. But I look forward to being able to meal plan again some day:

Saturday: Pizza and movie night – School of Rock.

Sunday: Camp food with friends. Our friends had bought a new camp stove and wanted to try it out, so we went on a hike and then they made dinner at the end. Rice and Beans with Sausage and vegetables – they had dehydrated okra and tomatoes and added that. It was really tasty. There was mac and cheese and broccoli rice for the kids.

Monday: Pork chops with gravy and green beans. The Husband cooked. This is the kind of Midwestern meal he makes without a receipe.

Tuesday: Zucchini Boats – the Husband cooked. We seem to eat these a lot, but it’s a good way to get vegetables into the kids.

Wednesday: Breakfast sandwiches.

Thursday: Turkey Chili – I made before heading off to work. This was one of those really satisfying meals to make in that I got to use up lots of leftovers and clean out the fridge a little. I used the leftover zucchini boat filling (ground turkey) and tossed it in in Instant Pot with leftover turkey burgers, a can of crushed tomatoes, celery, carrots, onions, corn, black beans and chili powder and cumin. It was really tasty and I had the leftovers in wraps for lunch all week.

Friday: Sandwiches at the Golf Course. The Summer music series has started at the local golf course – so many a Fridays we just grab sandwiches from the deli and head there with our lawn chairs and picnic blankets. Even when we don’t plan to go with friends, we almost always run into someone we know.

Saturday: Pizza and movie night. It was my turn to choose and I chose The Queen of Katwe, a 2016 movie based on the true story of a chess prodigy living in the slums of Kampala, Uganda. I’m trying to find more family movies that aren’t animated and I really enjoyed this one. The story is by turns inspirational and dramatic and eye-opening.

Monday: Turkey Chili leftovers

Tuesday: Grilled Tofu and Tomatoes – the husband made this from the Green Barbeque Cookbook, a book of vegan and vegetarian recipes to make on the grill. It was very tasty. Vegan.

Wednesday: Eggs and Green Beans. The Husband cooked.

Thursday: Cucumber and Black Bean Noodle Salad from To Asia With Love by Hetty McKinnon. This was really tasty and went over pretty well with the kids, though one kid only at the veggies and one kid only ate the noodles. The dressing base is fermented black bean sauce, one of my favorite ingredients. I added green beans and five spice tofu to bulk it up. Vegan.

Friday: Leftovers for me. Not quite sure what the Husband and kids did.

Eat the Peaches

The mornings hover between spring and summer, just where I like it. The temperatures are low enough that there is a slight chill, the air is dry from having released its humidity in a midnight rainstorm, leaving wet grass and the smell of rain. Yet the earth has tilted so the sunlight is early and direct, warming out faces as I walk the kids to school, and our backs as I walk home after drop off. I know that soon, 8am will be suffocatingly humid and 80 degrees, so I remind myself to savour these favorite mornings.

The other day, I made a to do list for the week. Yes, I’m slowly getting back into the habit, dumping out my brain like the linen closet and putting things back folded and neat, and maybe putting aside those tasks that are no longer useful. The week’s to do list read:

-pay bills
– sort bills from [rental property]
– figure out summer camp
– eat the peaches

One of summer’s greatest gifts is fresh peaches. Bought by the bushel from farmer’s markets, they are so plentiful and sweet, the seconds barely discernable from the firsts. Sometimes I like to go pick them myself, although prime peach season is typically August, when the weather is at its hottest and most humid, so the labor is never as enjoyable as the fruits of said labor. The boxes of peaches pile up in the house and we eat them as fast as we can, then turn to making pies and turnovers and eating them wrapped in ham with a slice of basil and also the peach shortbread recipe from Smitten Kitchen. But inevitably the we can’t eat them fast enough and I end up canning several jars of them and tucking them away in the basement.

Canned summer peaches are a present from my summer self to my future winter self. In the depths of winter, to open a jar of peaches and remember what summer tastes like is like eating nostalgia and warmth wrapped together. Even peaches that I remember being not quite sweet in the heat of summer, taste perfectly sweet when I spoon them into my mouth as I stare at the snow blanketing bare limbs in January.

Of course the kids always want to eat the peaches right away, after they have been put up. But I tell them, no. I want to save the peaches for that moment in winter when it feels like we have been in it for so long that I can’t remember what summer is like. Then, when I feel like summer is so far away, do I bring out a jar, and crack it open, unleashing glistening deep yellow mounds of edible sunshine.

This winter, though… it was unseasonably warm. I thought about my peaches sitting on the filing cabinet in the basement and always said to myself, “Nah. It’s not cold enough yet to bring them out. It surely will get colder and more miserable this winter.” And whether I was having a fit of asceticism, denying myself peaches, or whether the winter truly was a mild one, either way I now found myself mid May and the peaches still had not been eaten.

And so as we turn the corner into May, and I started to make my summer fun list, I realized that the peaches were still sitting in the basement when soon it would be time to bring home more bushels of peaches and can them for next winter. And what would be the point of eating canned peaches in August when the fresh peaches were so abundant?

So I put it on my list – “Eat the peaches”

As if it were a chore. But it’s not a chore. Quite the contrary. It’s just sometimes I need a reminder to do the thing that brings me joy.

Or also, bring the kids joy. The moment I brought the jars up from the basement, their faces lit up. “Peaches!” they exclaimed and crowded around as I popped open the jars, the vacuum sealed lids coming off with a satisfying sucking sound. Thuuuwack!

The baby, in particular, loves to drink the liquid that the peaches were canned in. “Potion!” she calls it, lifting the entire jar to her mouth and chugging greedily. It reminds me of Zero and Stanley in the book Holes, drinking centuries old canned peaches, calling it “Sploosh”.

So we are now down to a couple peach halves floating in “potion” in the fridge, and that is all that remains from last year’s batch. I don’t know what I’m saving those last two peach halves for, why my reluctance to eat them. Perhaps I’m holding on to the memory of last summer, wanting to draw it out as much as possible. Not anything specific at all, even. Just the idea of warm and sun and padding barefoot in my kitchen and the luxury of leisure time. (How strange that canning peaches, once a necessity, is now for me almost a leisure activity.) I have this irrational sense that once I finish those last bits of last year’s peaches, I will have lost last summer, released it into the ether of memory and time.

This is silly, I tell myself. Be practical. I need to clear that jar away to make room for the incoming crop of peaches. Besides I will be so sad if I hold on to those last few peaches so long that they spoil and then I can’t enjoy them at all. Perhaps practicality and planning is the only thing that can overcome my sentimentality over a bit of canned fruit. So I write it on my list:

-Eat the peaches.

Weekly recap + what we ate – back to work

My camera roll is surprisingly empty this week. Well, empty of pictures that I took myself. It is somehow filled with selfies taken by the nine year old. Sometimes she loops her brother and sister into her shenanigans. As a result, I get surprise photos and videos in my feed when the iPad synchs with the cloud. I find it a cute, even while I am annoyed that she is co-opting my iCloud storage. The other day we had words about something and she recorded an apology on the iPad that popped up in my photo roll on my phone. It was hard to stay mad at that.

Anyhow this week was kind of a fresh start. The nine year old started camp and I started prep for my next show. I had enrolled the nine year old in a county camp – nothing fancy, just arts, crafts, games and plenty of time outdoors. The main virtue of the camp, quite honestly, was that it was incredibly inexpensive – $275 for six weeks, when most camps charge at least that much for a single week – and also that it is about a mile and a half from our house. She did walk to camp one morning with my dad, and I’m thinking I might do the walk with her on mornings when I don’t have to be at work in the morning. The one shortcoming of the camp is that it only runs until 3pm. This isn’t a problem for me since my parents pick her up, but I do realize that this makes this super affordable camp a non-option for many working parents.

For me, it was a combination of working from home and a day or two working on site. I’m learning to be more efficient with my time when I’m working at home. Working from home was definitely much easier this week since my parents were in town and could help watch the kids.

Even though I try not obsessively document my life in photos, I do notice that when my photo roll is empty, it means I’ve been particularly immersed in the “doing” of life, rather than remembering to take time to find the things to be savor or to be grateful for.

Good things this week, then:
– long visit with a friend whose kids are at the camp adjacent to the nine year old’s camp. It was great to catch up and talk about deep and frivolous things. The two younger kids came along and the four year old plays cars by himself for ninety minutes. I love that he can get in such a flow state of play. Also – I showed him a transformer and he was adorably amazed. “It’s a truck that turns into a robot!!!!”
– The nine year old had a couple swim meets this week. I took her to one and the Husband took her to one. I’m still finding it a little awkward to make conversation with other parents at these meets, but I do enjoy seeing the event management and planning that goes on to make the meets happen. The parents are all assigned tasks at the meet; I was a timer. Putting stage management skills to work, I guess. I find it interesting to see other pools as we travel for meets.
– I am really excited for this next opera I’m working on because it reunites me with a colleague whom I absolutely love working with. Actually she was one of the reasons I decided to take this job.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Snack dinner – hummus, crackers, cheese, whatever I could scrounge from the fridge. Still recovering from the camping trip.

Sunday: Burrito bowls from Dinner Illustrated. Pantry meal.

Monday: Hot dog at swim meet and Chipotle afterwards

Tuesday: Cacio e Pepe udon noodles and cucumber salad.

Wednesday: Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and cucumbers. (Another swim meet night – the Husband took the nine year old, and I stayed home with the kids)

Thursday: Rice Pilaf with corn and shrimp from Milk Street Fast and Slow. InstantPot recipe to eat after swim practice

Friday: pizza take-out and In the Heights. Big movie – big dance numbers, big bold colours, big emotions, big voices.