Last weekend’s highlight was the Chuck E. Cheese Party. So overwhelming, but lots of fun was had. I think if I had to do it again, I would skip the party package and just take a bunch of kids on our own. One of the main features of the party package is the Chuck E. Cheese show, featuring a highly energetic birthday video and a person in a Chuck E. Cheese costume – both of which I think the six year old found bewildering. The whole thing was rather loud and frenetic, on top of the already loud and frenetic video games. Also Chuck E Cheese is an explosion of choice – so many games to play, and then at the end when you redeem your “point” for “prizes”. Part of the party package gives the birthday kid an extra 2000 points, which greatly increases the prizes you can cash in for. Most kids only managed to win enough points to get a plastic ring and a dum dum. The six year old had so many more options – none of them life-changing, though I kind of wanted him to bring home the light up gyro wheel. I think he spent twenty minutes starting at the prizes and came home with one of those sticky spiders you throw at the wall and watch them slowly climb down. Standing with your child at the Chuck E. Cheese prize counter is an excellent exercise in restraining parental judgement. At least for me.
This week following felt very full and kind of a slog. In that ordinary life is kind of a slog kind of way. The Husband was at an in town conference for two days. He still came home at night, but because of conference events he didn’t arrive home until after bedtime, so I felt on my own with the kids two nights in a row. Three if you count the night the Husband took the oldest to basketball practice and I had the two littles. Luckily they were the two days that there were no activities, so we could just be at home. I always feel bad complaining about how challenging I find solo parenting in the evenings because when I’m working, the Husband solo parents almost every night. He does six week stretches with lots of solo parenting evenings, so I should be able to handle two nights.
I think the most exhausting thing about being solo alone with the kids is the kitchen clean up. We clean up as a family after dinner, but when the kids are being reluctant about it, it adds a whole other level of emotional energy to cajole and supervise them. Some days I think it would just be easier if I cleaned it myself after bedtime. At least then I could watch tv or listen to a podcast while I do it. But I do want the kids to take ownership in the upkeep of their home. I remember when I was in high school, after dinner my parents would go out for a walk and it was expected that my brother and I clean up after dinner. He and I had this system where one person did the dishes and the other person did everything else because the dishes were such an onerous chore. I know I need to recognize that my kids are a long way from high school, so I can’t expect them to clean up after dinner by themselves, but there is a part of my brain that thinks, “C’mon, kids! You’ve been here for years. Why aren’t you more independently helpful?”
In addition, the two little haven’t been sleeping well. The six year old would wake up screaming. The baby would come to my room and tell me her big brother was screaming, then refuse to go back to bed. I think the Husband was in the baby’s bed at one point. There was bed musical chairs going on. Find an empty sleeping space and use that. One night the only thing that would calm the six year old down was sleeping in a chair in the living room while listening to his bedtime playlist, while I slept on the couch next to him. Every so often, he would wake up yelling that one song or another wasn’t supposed to be on the playlist and I’d have to get off the couch and delete it.
(Sidenote annoyance – the free version of Amazon Music has changed its format so that you can’t just play your playlists anymore; they mix up the songs on your playlists and insert other things they (or rather their algorithm) think you might be interested in. The reasoning is they’ve made all their music library available so there is more music available, but fewer options for how to listen to it, I guess. I was fine with a limited music collection that I could play as I wanted. Luckily I haven’t updated the Amazon Music app on my iPad so I can still play the bedtime playlist in the right order, but I’m annoyed at the conspicuous money grab to try to get people to sign up for a more expensive service. I get that nothing is free, but man it’s annoying. I should just pay for a music streaming service, I guess. I wonder if I can write it off on my taxes then? Because often when I need to listen to a specific thing it’s for work.)
Anyhow, I actually quite enjoy the bedtime playlist, so at least it was nice to listen to the tunes. The Current Bedtime Playlist:
Put on Your Sunday Clothes (from Hello Dolly! the recent Broadway version)
Octopus’s Garden by the Beatles
Put on Your Sunday Clothes (from Hello Dolly! the movie version)
Rocket Ship Run by Laurie Berkner
More I Cannot Wish You (from Guys and Dolls, sung by Betty Buckley)
Dear Theodosia from Hamilton
We’re Going to be Friends by The White Stripes
Waving Through the Window from Dear Evan Hanson
A Million Dreams from The Greatest Showman
For Forever from Dear Evan Hansen
It’s Quiet Uptown from Hamilton
This last song was the source of much consternation because it was “too sad.” (He’s not wrong.) So I was instructed to take it off the playlist. But then on the next pass through, there were tears when it didn’t play. So now Quiet Uptown is back on the bedtime playlist.
Songs I had to remove from the playlist, having caused a crying fit in the post-midnight hours:
At Last I see the Light from Tangled (why?!? I thought he loved that song!)
Try to Remember from the Fantasticks (I like this song. I thought it fit in with the mix, but apparently not…)
Simple Song from Leonard Bernstein’s Mass (this was was a stretch anyway… I love the piece and thought I could just slip it in. Nope)
Okay, it wasn’t all a slog, though. I got to go running a few times, after taking the whole week before off because I was stuck at home with a sick kid. I baked more bread. I got some walks in. I started a new show. Twice I went out for lunch with friends and both times the food was amazing. One time was to a taco place, and they had these really good mushroom tacos. The second time was to a Chinese restaurant and I ordered off the dim sum menu and got turnip cakes and shrimp chang fen and sticky rice in bamboo leaves, salty spicy tofu and Chinese broccoli in oyster sauce. It was so delicious. I don’t always love going out to eat, but these two places were definitely worth it.
One fun thing: On Friday, the six year old’s class was asked to dress up as what they wanted to be when they grew up. Six year old wanted to be a builder. I had a toy hammer for him, and we had a dress up construction hat. But come Friday morning, we couldn’t find the hat. This caused no small amount of consternation because it would have been the perfect accessory. And of course it was thirty minutes before we had to leave for school. So I asked him what else a builder would wear. And he says, “A Safety vest!” Sure. Let me just pull that out of thin air. But… I looked in his drawer and he had an old yellow t-shirt. So I got a pair of scissors and some electrical tape, and…
Instant costume. I think my favorite part is the plaid flannel shirt. He was a little resistant to wearing the plaid flannel shirt, but I googled pictures of construction workers to show him that, yes indeed, plaid flannel shirts are what builders wear.
Breakfast of the moment – Since the 11 year old got a waffle maker for Christmas – one of those gifts ostensibly for her, but really for the whole family – we will periodically have waffles for breakfast. I always make a double batch so we have waffles for breakfast the following week. They’re super easy to pop in the toaster over and reheat. My current favorite breakfast is a waffle with peanut butter, topped with banana slices and sprinkled with Everything Bagel Seasoning. Something about the combination of the sweetness of the banana along with the savory/salty bits of the sprinkle and the hardiness of peanut butter really hits the spot for breakfast. I love sweet/savory combinations. Plus it’s very portable and I can take it to work and eat it at my desk.
Interesting link: This quiz to help determine how much of a morning or evening person you are. Based on your answers to the questions, The Automated Morning-Eveningness Questionnaire then calculates your optimal bedtime plus when your body starts winding down. I thought it was pretty neat to fill out – the questions were about your current sleep/wake habits plus when during the day you feel most active. (Plus you get your results right away – not like some sites where you have to give your email address so they can email you your results … and lot of subsequent spam.) Turns out I am a pretty middle of the road person in terms of when I am the most alert, and my recommended bedtime is 11:30pm with at 9pm winddown.
Grateful for this week:
– Longer hours of daylight. This week was the first time I really noticed that there have been more and more hours of daylight. The sun is up when we drive to 7:15am piano lessons and there was still enough sunlight after school that I could take the kids to the park after school.
– My coworkers. I know I say this a lot, but I feel so grateful for the stage management team I work with. They are all so thoughtful and competent and they always make me laugh. I’ve worked places where the team dynamic isn’t great, bordering on toxic, and that is absolutely not the case at my current job. I don’t always love being the lead stage manager on a show, and having solid assistants makes it a much better experience.
– Leftovers. I sometimes complain that no one else eats leftovers at our house, as if it is some burden to eat the leftovers. Truthfully, the eleven year old will eat them, and the two littles will sometimes eat them if I put it in front of them, but they are nobody’s first choice when making consumption decisions. This week, I’ve been packing leftovers for dinner and I was struck by how easy it is to have a fridge full of leftovers that I can just package up and toss into my lunch box.
Looking Forward To:
– I got news this week that my cousin is coming to visit in a few months. Hooray! I remember babysitting her when she was a toddler and now she has a real job and everything!
-Getting my haircut this week! It’s been a year since my last haircut and I’m looking forward to having it short again. I usually get it cut before I start a job, but didn’t get around to it last fall.
-Starting rehearsal. Before each show begins rehearsal, I have a week called “Prep week” to work on paperwork. It is always a nice low key way to get ready for the show to begin. The first day of prep, I’m always glad to be able to take a pre-dive into the show material. But then there’s always a point midweek when I’m tired of just thinking about the show and ready just to get into the rehearsal room with the singers and director and start putting the show up.
– Supertitle gig coming up next week. The singer is someone whom I worked with when she was barely out of grad school; I’m excited to hear how she’s grown in the past five years. I need to get those translation slides done – I had a dream last night where I showed up to the recital without the titles done and it was quite embarrassing.
What We Ate:
Saturday: Pizza (the Husband made), and Robin Hood, the Disney animated version from 1973. I remember watching this when I was a child. Truthfully, I fell asleep half way through, but the part I was awake for I thought was lovely.
Sunday: Quesadillas (for the kids) and leftovers (for the adults) and garlic green beans for everyone
Monday: Red Pepper Pasta. Only made with orange peppers. More or less this recipe from Minimalist Baker, but I use half and half instead of soy milk so it wasn’t vegan.
Tuesday: Sweet Potato Poblano Tacos from Dinner Illustrated. Vegan.
Wednesday: Pasta e Fagioli Soup. Vegan.
Thursday: Butter Chicken and cut up cucumbers. This is the internet famous InstantPot Butter Chicken recipe – it was the Husband’s request for his birthday dinner. I like the recipe because it makes extra sauce so we can have butter chicken again next week.
Friday: Take out – Fried Chicken and BBQ from Fryers Roadside Chicken.
11:30 bedtime?! I would be comatose in the morning if I went to bed that late. What time do you normally get to bed? (I bet it’s widely variable based on your work schedule, but would that be late for you?)
I’m the worst about going to bed at a consistent time. If left to my own devices and I’m being disciplined about it, I go to bed between 11:30 and 1am. If I’m not being good I stay up as late at 2am. But if I’m tired, I will sometimes fall asleep while putting the kids to bed at 9pm. It just varies. Also, yeah, based on whether I’m working or not. It’s hard to come home from work at midnight and go straight to bed, but I’m trying to be better about that.
I am headed to take that quiz now!
“Standing with your child at the Chuck E. Cheese prize counter is an excellent exercise in restraining parental judgement.” There are SO many moments in parenting where I have to bite my tongue. Sometimes I do this successfully and sometimes my incredulity at their choices pours out.
Solo parenting can be such a slog and bedtime, for me, is often the hardest. I’m tired. They say they’re not tired and I just want some magic nanny to whisk into the house and tuck everyone – myself included – into bed (preferably with clean sheets smelling like lavendar). A girl can dream…
Oh! I’m curious what your results are!
I loved your post yesterday about solo parenting. It is just energy sucking, isn’t it?
I got similar to you. I scored 60 which is JUST out of “intermediate” and put me in “moderate morning” which is 59-69 (42-58 was the intermediate).
Melatonin production at 9 pm and a suggested bedtime of 11:15 pm. I’ve been viewing my bedtime as 10:30 pm, but blowing past that a lot lately, so maybe I should just give in and aim for 11:15 instead. Though…that would mean I’m only getting 7-7.5 hours sleep which doesn’t feel like enough for me? But I like feeling less guilty about the 10:30 pm bit.
Thanks for reporting back! Maybe you can split the difference and aim for a gentle 10:45pm?
I’m curious about that bedtime quiz, but the only problem is the results aren’t really helpful if your schedule is dictated by things like kids’ school schedules. Next year my daughter starts high school which has a very early start time, so we’ll be shifting our whole schedule back significantly. The high school won’t care what my ideal wake time is!
That waffle sounds strange but delicious. Sometimes I’ll have peanut butter and banana on ezekial bread or a bagel- next time I’m going to add the everything seasoning and see how it goes.
Nice job on the builder costume! Parenting sure takes a lot of ingenuity.
That’s so true about wake times. My daughter starts middle school next year and it starts an hour earlier than middle school and I’m kind of dreading the logistics of that.
I do wonder if the researchers of the quiz have advice about how to shift the hours one would be at peak alertness?
I took the quiz and we got similar results! I scored a 57, so I’m very nearly a “moderate morning” person but mostly neither a morning or evening person. An 11:30 bedtime sounds very reasonable to me, but it means pushing my wake time later, which may not work with my schedule. Wah!
Yes, I agree that the advised sleep time might not jive with the wake time. I’d be curious about what their research says about that.
I was also really fascinated by the study’s suggestion of using light therapy to adjust your wake time earlier and if that meant bringing your bedtime earlier too?