Last weekend was mother’s day.
I told the husband that I wanted four things:
1) a nice picture with all three kids.
2) to go on a hike with everyone
3) a couple hours to myself where I didn’t have to parent
4) to eat dinner without anyone sitting on my lap.
We achieved 1 and 2.
To be fair, when I pointed out to the Husband that #3 didn’t happen, he promptly made plans to allow me time the following weekend (like now! so I can write).
And #4 is honestly probably a lost cause unless I don’t eat with the family.
I don’t know if it’s because of the excessive amount of togetherness this past year as we’ve all been under pandemic lockdown, but “time alone!” seemed to be the most requested mother’s day gift I’ve seen this year among my mom friends and groups. Perhaps last year, when we were newly in staying at home, and COVID cases were rising, mothers were in a better place mentally to savour and cherish the unrelieved time with their kids. But a year later… I think many of us are just burnt out from being responsible for the care, feeding, schooling, providing, working…. from all of it. From having to be so responsible for everyone else. And this mother’s day, I think many of us caregivers just want time to themselves, to slip the bonds of responsibility.
(This is not to say men haven’t had to be responsible too… the Husband has been a very equal partner. But study after study shows that the additional burdens brought about by pandemic living has disproportionately fallen on the shoulders of women. In fact, a lot of men I know are living their best lives right now while working from home….)
On Mother’s Day proper, we went on a hike at Red Rock Wilderness Overlook. The site features some remains of historic buildings – an ice house, carriage house, etc – which I always love seeing. The hike itself at first seemed quite gentle, a grassy meandering stroll through woods that came to an overlook of the Potomac. Perhaps it is the endless Hamilton listening that we’ve been doing lately, but I couldn’t look at this river without thinking of everything it has seen – the lives, the wars, the comings and goings.
As we hiked along the river overlook, we came to a precipitous drop off, across which a tree had fallen. Always up for an adventure, and having somewhat lost the path, we scrabbled downwards until we came to the shores of the Potomac. Here there was ample opportunity to throw rocks and sticks into the river and the nine year old found a rock face to scale. I was quite impressed by how high she managed to climb.
A scramble back up the banks of the river and we found the trail blazes again and headed back to the parking lot. This was a hike that was in our “Best Hikes for Kids” book that I had gotten, which is probably one of the best things I bought all last year. The baby managed a lot of the hike, though the Husband did carry her a couple times. She is getting to be a sturdy little hiker.
The nine year old had Thursday off, so the Husband took a half day and we went to the Air and Space Museum. I had heard that the Smithsonian had been loaned an X-wing Starfighter recently and before it was sent to the Air and Space Museum downtown, it would be cleaned and checked for damage at the restoration hanger at the Air and Space Museum by the airport. So the Husband got us tickets and we spent an afternoon with all manner of aircrafts and flight history. It was our first visit to a museum in over a year and I feel really grateful that we have such easy access to so many museums here. I can’t wait until the rest of the Smithsonian museums open back up. And the National Gallery of Art too. I’ve missed seeing things in real life.
Some tidbits from this week:
A Great Podcast Episode: I was listening to this episode of On Being where Krista Tippett talks to clinical psychologist Christine Runyon about the physiological effect the isolation and stress of the pandemic has had on us. One point that really struck with me is Runyon’s idea that along with “flight”, “fight”, and “freeze,” we, particularly women, also have another survival instinct which is “Tend and Befriend.” They go on to discuss how difficult it has been during the pandemic to not be able to “befriend” or form alliances or gather as a community, because for a lot of women, that is their reaction to a crisis. There are physiological tolls to being alone. The link above is to the broadcast episode; the “tend and befriend” discussion is in the unedited episode, and it was such a fantastic conversation to hear.
The county has put the basketball hoops back up. During the pandemic, at least one hoop on every county court was removed, to prevent people from gathering to play basketball games. Not sure how effective that was. But this week I’ve noticed that all the hoops are back up. One little sign of things going back to normal.
Speaking of which – I’m thinking about the new guidelines from CDC for masking. Or rather unmasking. Namely that fully vaccinated people can resume activities without masks or social distancing. Of course the children are not vaccinated. So I think I will continue to have them mask up at playgrounds and on playdates. I will probably wear a mask when I’m with my kids as a show of solidarity, and also while indoors at stores or what not – particularly since I feel like a lot of businesses around here will keep mask mandates in place. But maybe not? Our County has been somewhat conservative with mask mandates in the past, but they seem to be in line with our state regulations right now, which is for lifting mask mandates. Indoor dining is probably still outside of my comfort zone.
The kids got new shoes! Just in time for summer. I love our shoe store.
Perfect summer snack- cucmbers with “sprinkle”, either Pico Fruta, or Sesame Seaweed Furikake.
Tadpole update – They have legs!
Frugal food wins – Sad bunch of collards, wilted and neglected –> Collard chips! Seasoned with dill, garlic powder, onion powder and nutritional yeast, giving them a nice ranch flavour.
The cicadas have started to emerge. We took an evening walk on Friday night and had to tread carefully. There has been a lot of attention given to the cicadas, I’m actually quite excited.
Four Year Old Quote of the Week: “You have to rise up, just like Hamilton.”
What We Ate:
Saturday: Grilling! Kielbasa from our favorite Polish Deli, and grilled veggies. I love how easy grilling is with the gas grill. I never thought I would convert from charcoal, but while I miss the chemical aftertaste of charcoal, the ease of the gas grill is hard to beat.
Sunday: Indian/ Nepalese food take out.
Monday: Gochujang Roasted Cabbage and Carrots with Udon Noodles and Pan Fried Tofu.
Tuesday: Pasta Salad with leftover grilled veggies from Saturday, and Mango Salad from Meera Sodha’s Made in India.
Wednesday: Salmon Curry Coconut Rice from Milk Street’s Cook-ish, and pan seared Brussel Sprouts.
Thursday: Take out from a vegetarian Chinese food place near the Air and Space Museum.
Friday: Pizza take out and bagged Caesar Salad and The Booksellers, a documentary about antiquarian booksellers. A nostalgic, wistful account of our love of printed material. Oh the beautiful shelves of books in this film!