May 2024 – Life Off Headset

Bi-Weekly recap + what we ate: the Month of May

These last few weeks of May, after opening our show has kind of been a slog – after a show opens, I always feel like I’m like digging out of the hole of everything that’s piled up since I started rehearsals, but also wanting to relax and just sleep and eat junk food and do fun things. I’ve felt simultaneously unmotivated and also panicked about the length of the to do list, also summer is looming, but we’re all limping towards the finish line of school so things do not let up on the home front. Anyhow, the show is closed and I don’t have another show until July, so I’m hoping to make efforts on everything that’s piled up.

Current stressors (the big ones):
– My car. (Still). I did make progress on this last month – I sent an email to the high school program that takes used cars. It seems like it will be a pretty easy process to hand my car over to them. I just have to fill out the paperwork and find someone to take me since they don’t pick up cars.

– Cleaning/purging room clutter. (still) When my father was here, we moved a lot of the boxes of stuff that was in the guest room into the toy room. Then for our big meat party (more on that below) a week later, we moved the same boxes out of the toy room so kids could play, back into the guest room. Right now we’re just moving half a room’s worth of things we aren’t currently using back and forth and it just needs to be gone through and moved out of the house. It’s ridiculous that we have essentially two rooms in the house that no one can use.

-Swim season has started. The two little kids will start pre-team next week, but the 12 year old has started swim team practice already. It’s going to be hairy – four nights a week, pre-team is from 5:00pm – 5:30pm and then the 12 year old practices from 6:15pm -7:30pm. I don’t know when people are going to eat dinner. I was at first nervous that swim season would overlap with my work schedule, but luckily only the last two weeks overlap with my next show so I can be home to drive carpool. But again… when are we going to eat dinner? We usually eat dinner around 5pm/5:30p but I think that the 12 year old isn’t going to want to eat so close to practice. I might just have to let go of the idea of family dinners for a few weeks. I need to re-listen to this Lazy Genius podcast “How to Fix Dinner When You Are Never Home“

-Will the 4 year old get to go to kindergarten???? That’s the big looming question and a little out of our control. She does have her assessment scheduled so fingers crossed. One of our friends’ kids did not pass assessment, which made me little nervous. Apparently, they were told that their child didn’t know any sight words. Which – how many kids know sight words upon entering kindergarten?!?!?! I thought the point of kindergarten was to teach my child sight words! Anyhow – If the school says the 4 year old is not ready for kindergarten, then of course I’m not going to push it, but I really do think she’s ready and her teachers say that she’s ready and the she will be bored if she has to repeat the pre-K curriculum. I will admit that I’m being a little Tiger Mom and have been working on “the” and “and” with the 4 year old. Two little sight words probably won’t make or break things, but I figured it couldn’t hurt and she does seem to be curious about words.

-I’ve misplaced by journals. I haven’t journaled or tracked things in two or three weeks because I can’t find my journal stack. This is really stressing me out. I find that being able to write down my day and track things in life helps give me perspective on where my brain is and helps hold me accountable for how I spend my time. I know I could just write it down on a piece of paper, but the thought of loose pages just floating around doesn’t feel like the soothing exercise that journaling is supposed to be for me. I had thrown the journals in a tote bag to take to work on while the 4 year old was at agility class and I don’t know where I put the bag when I got home.

-My hair – (still) need to schedule an appointment to get it cut. Also need to schedule a well woman check up. This is just flat out procrastination and reluctance on my part.

-Speaking of hair…. There has been an outbreak of lice in the 4 year old’s classroom. I spent so many hours of the past two weeks treating and combing out hair. The last time we had a lice event in our house was when the 12 year old was in 1st grade and the Husband took care of it then – he would sit in the back yard with her and just comb and comb and comb her hair. So it’s kind of been a pain in the rear end – just inconvenient, not at all debilitating or anything.

I found the health notice kind of hilarious, to be honest.

Things that did get done in April/May (April Aspirations):
-We booked our tickets to Taiwan! That was a couple days of fast and furious emails and texts with the travel agent, but we’re are now going to Taiwan and Malaysia this winter. It feels strange because we never book tickets this far in advance – I think booking three months out is a long lead time. But now we have tickets six months out. We don’t have hotels or any other plans yet, but at least we know when we’ll be there.
-I figured out the summer camp schedule. Everything is booked. I have a few weeks I need to cancel because I had booked back up choices and then got off the wait list at our first choice. And I need to add before/aftercare for a few weeks because all the camps start at 9am and there are a few weeks where I can’t physically do two drop offs at one time or even be passably late because the camps are about twenty minutes apart. But at least I know where people will be.
-Finally processed the Duluth Trading Company return from Christmas.
-Bought a new Yeti tumbler. I got it from our local Ace hardware but then it leaked so I had to return it and get a new one, but I had thrown out the receipt so I didn’t want to deal with that. Eventually I did make it back to Ace and the folks at Ace were able to look up the purchase and do the exchange. Just in time for summer. Yay! (Have not purchased a new purse, or sandals or linen pants yet. Though I’m kind of obsessed with buying a new linen shirtdress – I have two that I wear constantly and I think one more will be make a nice uniform rotation through the summer. I really want one in a non-neutral colour. I love this teal, but wrap dresses don’t look good on me. Or this yellow one is cute… so many options!)
-And I did mow the lawn. Twice. I tried a third time, but the grass was too long and the mower stopped working so I gave up on it and the Husband fixed it and mowed the rest of the lawn. So… I still am behind on my mowing duties. One particularly busy week we did hire the landscapers to come mulch and they mowed the lawn while they were here, so that was nice.

Okay – so that was the laundry list of life. But we did have some fun adventures the past few weeks:

Harper’s Ferry. The week after opening was a pretty light week at work – just three evening performances and then time to do paperwork on my own. It was a good thing too, because Tuesday was a day off for all the kids as it was Primary Day. The daycare is used as a polling location, and probably also the public schools. Originally we were going to take the kids to Longwood Gardens but the Husband had to work instead, so it was just me and the kids and a wide open day. I was considering taking them to Shenandoah to go hiking, but then I had to go vote since I had forgotten to do early voting and by the time I got that done it was already almost 10:30am. (Shenandoah is doable in one day, but only if we leave by 9am.) So instead I decided to go to Harper’s Ferry. I had never gone before and there is hiking and some historical exhibits there. Plus it is only an hour away, so it would be an easy day trip. Harper’s Ferry Historical Park consists of some 19th century buildings that have been converted into historical museums, and a beautiful view of where the Shenandoah River meets the Potomac River, and a bridge to some hiking trails.

We attempted to go for a hike, and made it across the bridge from the town to the hiking trails before deciding the rain was too much for us, and we turned around and came back. Since it was raining, we took shelter in John Brown’s Fort, just in time for the Ranger talk on John Brown. I thought we were in for a brief look at John Brown, but you guys, the talk was 1 hr and 15 minutes!!!! At first I was worried that the kids wouldn’t be up for it, and even though I did have to take the 4 and 7 year old outside eventually, the 12 year old was rapt. She sat through all 75 minutes of the talk, just drinking it all in, and even asked the ranger a few questions at the end. She was particularly fascinated by the fact that John Brown was white. I guess she has always thought that John Brown was Black, which I think kind of makes sense, and that lead to interesting conversations afterwards.

One thing that stuck out to me was when the ranger talked about how the women were melting the pewter to make bullets for the raid because there were no bullets – and I thought about how we think of history as a series of big events and most of these events are precipitated by men. Because women are at home doing the every day things that keep life going. And men get to /got to make the big gestures that go down in history – and maybe this is the flaw in how we perceive what are important historical events? A woman’s life doesn’t have as many grand explosive events. It has every day events, like births and deaths and the day to day of raising children and making sure people get fed. And what gets recorded in the history books is not these day to day perpetual tasks – it is important that the bullets get made, but not as important as what they were used for, apparently. The men get the credit for making history, and the women have to just keep things running.

We spent the day at Harper’s Ferry and left around 3pm to go for an early dinner. I Googled to find places and we ended up at Potomac Street Grill in Brunswick, MD – a homely little restaurant that look, admittedly a little run down, but the food was excellent and judging from the crowd that came in and out, it was a local favorite. Afterwards, we stopped for ice cream at Rocky Point Creamery, which was sort of on the way home. I first experienced this creamery because it was one of the stops on the Maryland Ice Cream Trail and we’ve come back a few times since. Their ice cream is so creamy and fresh tasting. I had the raspberry, the 12 year old had the birthday cake, the 7 year old had vanilla, and the 4 year old had mint chip. The kids like coming to Rocky Point Creamery because there is a playground with a play structure made out of an old tractor, which they wanted to play on.
“You’ll get wet!” I said as it was still raining.
“We don’t care!” they replied.
And I figured, if they want to play so much that they don’t care about getting wet, then why not let them play. So they played for a spell on the tractor and then it was time to go home.

The playground and the dairy in the back.

We had our meat party. It did rain for much of the party, but our friend set up a huge tarp and we all gathered under it and it made for a really nice time, almost cozy. Thank goodness for the tarp- I had braced myself to have 25+ people inside our house, but I was able to encourage them to all go outside and we hung out under the tarp. There was tons of food – we marinated 20 lbs of meat, dessert, sides, homemade salsa, good conversations, lots of beer. Also a 10 lb brisket and four bowls of chicken wings. Also – oysters. One of my friends said she always wanted to learn how to shuck and oyster, so another friend brough oysters and a shucking knife and a handy contraption with which to place the oyster so that you don’t accidentally impale yourself. It was all in all a lovely evening.

Between our canopy, patio umbrella and our friend’s tarp, we got this party covered. Literally.

Life skills – the 12 year old shucking an oyster. I always feel intimidated by preparing any seafood other than fish or shrimp at home, but I think shellfish is easier than I think it is and very doable at home. Probably cheaper too.

Going to visit a friend out in southern Maryland. I have a friend/colleague (T) who moved last year to southern Maryland. A few of my other friends from work decided that we should go visit her on our day off because she is awesome and we missed her – she wasn’t on our current show and couldn’t come to the meat party since she was on another gig. We had originally planned to visit and grill and play board games. But then T’s neighbor who lives next door offered to take us out on her boat. So of course we said yes. Only we got on the boat and pushed off and the battery was dead so my friend jumped to shore and pulled our boat back to the dock. Then T called another friend and asked if that friend would be willing to take us out on her boat. And half an hour later we were on a boat with two large dogs, speeding across the water. And the weather was beautiful and the skies clear. And the next thing we knew, the friend with the boat had pulled into the dock of a restaurant and we all got out and had drinks and fried food while the dogs ran freely around the patio – it was that kind of place. Then we got back in the boat and headed back to T’s place, and by the time we got back, it was quite late and we had to head home. Not the afternoon we had planned, but maybe even better. I mean what is better and more joyful than being on a boat with a couple of dogs, the wind blowing in our faces?

Also a little morbid, but fascinating – we saw a dead skate floating in the water

Evenings and Weekends At Home: to play board games(Castle Panic is our latest family game – highly recommend), to take kids to soccer and agility class, to cook dinner, to walk to basketball workout with the 12 year old, to have dance parties in the living room, to fold the laundry, to go on nature walks and hikes, to have playdates and go to birthday parties, to catch up on some tv, to kick off Summer with a Memorial Day movie outing. (We saw IF with some friends. Or at least, the kids saw IF. I couldn’t tell you what happened in the movie – I got up once to refill popcorn, once to take the 7 year old to the bathroom, and once to take the 4 year old to the bathroom. The Husband went to see the Mad Max movie with the other dad. I look forward to seeing IF at some point at home where we can pause the movie if needed.) It feels like we’ve turned the corner into summer. Why are there still two weeks left before school is out????

Some Wise Words I Read Recently – from a Carolyn Hax column. The Letter Writer decided not to go to her stepson’s wedding because of an acrimonious relationship with his father and her relatives tell her that she capitulated and let the ex manipulate the situation. And the Letter Writer asks if she was wrong. I loved Hax’s response:

I think too often I get stuck in the binary of right vs. wrong. I think it’s good to remind myself that that’s a false binary and life is so much more complex than that. Cultivating “enough”, however, seems like a stronger way to move forward.

Grateful for:
-The van. I have finally started driving the van. Yes, that’s the van that we bought in October. But with the excursion to Harper’s Ferry and the trip out to see my friend, I figured everyone would be more comfortable in the van than in the Impreza. The van has toooo many buttons for my tastes, and feels like I’m driving a small apartment on wheels, but I think I’m slowly getting used to driving it.

-Micky Mouse Club House. How did I get through hours of combing and treating the kids’ hair? I sat them in front of episodes of Micky Mouse Club House. The four year old now asks if she can have her hair brushed, which is really code for “Can I watch Mickey Mouse Club?” The instructions for the Nix, under “things you need to treat lice” literally says, “Something to keep your child busy (movie, game, etc.)” Can I pay for that out of my FSA?

-Long return windows – as in Duluth Trading Company. Of course part of the reason I took so long to process the Duluth return from Christmas was because I knew the return window was long (one year). I suppose if there had a been a shorter window, I might have gotten things done sooner. But as it is, I’m thankful that the return process at Duluth was pretty painless and I could return all the stuff that didn’t suit even though it is five months later.

-Costco. Because when you are having 25-30 people over, it’s kind of the obvious choice for many things. When we first moved to the area, the nearest Costco was about 30 minutes away. And now we have one two miles up the road.

Also grateful to have the capacity to shop at Costco.

-And grateful to the friends and colleagues at work. We had a couple aftershow parties last week since it was the last show of the season – one was an official company party and one was an unofficial “Everyone show up with food to celebrate” kind of affair. I have to say, I work with some of the kindest, funniest, and most talented people. Most people know what they will be working on next season and it’s so nice when we compare notes and find out we’re on the same shows. It’s something to look forward to, knowing that even though this opera season is over, we’ll see each other again in a few months. I don’t always like being the stage manager in charge – sometimes I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing (as opposed to being an assistant stage manager, which I do feel very comfortable doing), but knowing that the people I work with believe in me and think I do a good job really helps me conquer my imposter syndrome.

-And grateful for the Husband for keeping the house picked up and the kids fed and life moving while I’m at work, and for helping to set up for the meat party.

-The pre-summer weather. We’ve had some bouts of rain and some bouts of high heat, but in general, it’s been that perfect cool, crisp, sunny, not yet humid weather. I know the humidity is coming, though, so I’ll savor this weather while I can. I got the bike out and biked to work a few days and it was delightful.

Looking forward to:
-Piano and voice recitals coming up. Another thing on the calendar, but always nice to see the kids work towards something they can perform.

-Trip to Maine. I borrowed some travel guides and I’ve made plans to see a college friend on the way there, so I’m excited.

– Making food with our latest Penzy’s haul:

We made a trip to Penzy’s and I saw the dehydrated garlic and dehydrated onion on the shelf and decided to get some. When I was at the Smithsonian Folk Life Festival last year, there was a cooking demonstration and the chef mentioned that he likes to use reconstituted dehydrated garlic in stir fry because it doesn’t burn as easily.

-Speaking of which – the Smithsonian Folklife Festival is the end of June – perfect timing since I’m off work and the two older kids won’t be in camp yet so I’m looking forward to going down to the Mall with them to take in all the exhibits. This year’s theme is “Indigenous Voices of America: Celebrating the National Museum of the American Indian.” The NMAI opened in 2004, and I remember being in DC when it opened – it was that year that I interned at the opera. So wild to think that it’s already been 20 years since I first arrived here in DC!

-Summer adventures. Our day trip to Harper’s Ferry reminded me of how in COVID times and how I would just pack the kids in the car and take them to parks or ice cream shops a car drive away. Even though it was COVID, I always had such fun taking these little day trips and seeing new places. I have three weeks off this summer, and I want to make sure to take some day trips with the kids. The Maryland Ice Cream Trail 2024 has been released and this year the map has pinpointed hikes near the creameries – hike + ice cream! what a great combination!

-This Audiobook, which I know some of you have read:

I’m listening to it with the 12 year old. Often it’s only way I can get her to leave the house – I promise her that we can listen to the book wherever we are going. Sometimes when we go out for walks, she will take one earbud and I’ll take the other and we’ll listen to it together. I feel really annoyed that I have to bribe her like this to leave the house, but I think I need to re-frame this as a sweet way to spend time together. And the book is hilarious.

What We Ate: So one thing about losing my journals is that I haven’t been writing down what we’ve been having for dinner. I’ve worked several evenings, so there’s been a good share of eating out. Some memorable meals, though:
– Creamy coconut rice with chili lime vegetables from Smitten Kitchen Keepers. This meal was a huge hit – even the 4 year old who will pick the vegetables out of everything ate all of it. The coconut rice is creamy like risotto, but baked so that it is a magical, hands off dish. And the vegetables are roasted and then sprinkled with a vinegary chili lime dressing. Definitely a keeper. I can’t find it online, but this recipe is worth checking out the book.
– Also from Smitten Kitchen – roasted tomato pasta salad. Very tasty. I roasted the tomatoes in the morning so that when we got home, I just had to boil the pasta and throw the whole things together.
-Meera Sodha’s Brussel Sprout fried rice.
– pasta salad made from the leftover grilled veggies from our meat party.
-Chicken on the Run – Peruvian Chicken – our go to take out when the 7 year old has sewing class since the restaurant is just down the block.
-There were various nights of take out wings and pizza. And movie nights – I think there was an Avengers movie, and some nature films.

Well, it’s the last day of May. Onward to June and Summer. How was your May?

Books Read- March 2024

It’s almost June, but here’s what I read in March. I didn’t plan it this way, but March was a very romance heavy month.

The Marquis Who Musn’t by Courtney Milan – This is the second book in Milan’s Wedgeford Trials book that centers on a 19th century village in England with a huge Asian immigrant population. Naomi Kwan wants to take ambulance classes and learn first aid, but as a single woman, is constantly told she couldn’t. She enters into a fake engagement with the handsome new in town Liu Ji Kai in order to register for classes as an engaged woman. But Kai has other motives for being in town. Warm friendship ensues. Not my favorite Milan – her plotting is a little clunky, but I can always count on her for smart characters, fascinating and well researched historical settings, and good writing with some spot on sentiments. Sentiments like this:
“Is that why she hasn’t yelled at me anymore about the ambulance class?”
Her aunt simply shook her head. “Since when does my older sister yell?”
Naomi felt her nose wrinkle. “Technically correct. Emotionally false.”
Or this one:
“Let me teach you a trick,” Mr. Liu said. “You seem to need some way to fend off questions, and this works for about everything… Go ahead. Repeat the question you just asked me.”
“Who are you?”
He gave her a cutting look – a sweep of his eyes from head to toe as if he were a scythe, slashing her down. “My private situation is none of your business.”
She staggered back. He radiated triumph. “See? Easy enough.”
“Easy for you,” She muttered. “How do you expect me to use that at home? Have you no parents?”
Even in 19th century England, Milan has captured the angst I often feel as an Asian daughter.

Ten Things that Never Happened by Alexis Hall, read by Will Watt – Amnesia plots are absolutely not my thing, but this book kind of turns that trope on its head. Sam runs a bed and bath store and thinks his jerk CEO/boss Jonathan is going to fire him, endangering the jobs of all his employees, so when Sam has an accident while talking to Jonathan, he fakes amnesia to buy himself time. Of course uneasy friendship, respect, understanding, and love ensues. Along with a pretty terrific cat. I really enjoyed this book- it was laugh out loud funny in places, and beautifully touching in others. I loved the narrator- he made this book the audio equivalent of all my favorite Bdritish rom coms rolled into one, with a colourful and hilarious cast of characters.

Brazen and the Beast by Sarah MacLean – second novel in the Bareknuckle Bastards series. I really like Sarah MacLean- her novels are really well written, her heroines are smart and independent and there are always finely detailed secondary characters. This novel involves Hattie, who wants to run her father’s shipping business, and Beast who is… actually I’m a little foggy on the twists and turns of the plot points and how Hattie and Beast got involved. I think that bit was a little thin. It involves a long held grudge and a smuggling ring. Hattie and Beast were great characters. The plot was… incidental.

The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan – slight and pithy. To be honest, I don’t remember much of it, though my notes seem to indicate that I found a lot of it worth highlighting. It’s the story of a romance where each chapter is based on a letter of the alphabet.

The L section, is Latitude – “ What a strange phrase- not seeing other people. As if it’s been constructed to be a lie. We see people all the time, the question is what we do about it.”
Isn’t that always the question?

S for scapegoat – “I think our top two are: not enough coffee. Too much coffee.”
Also so true.

X for ..x – “Doesn’t it strike you as strange that we have a letter in the alphabet that nobody uses? It represents one-twenty-sixth of the possibility of our language, and we let it languish. If you and I really, truly wanted to change the world, we’d invent more words that started with x.”

Daring and the Duke by Sarah MacLean– this was the final book in her Bare Knuckle Bastard series. After I read Brazen and the Beast, I figured I might as well finish the series. I enjoyed it, but not as much as Brazen and the Beast. I really wanted this book to be an epic saga in the vein of Gone With The Wind or Thorn Birds. The heroine Grace is a fascinating character and I wanted to read about how she ran away from her childhood home and built her empire, but the story starts after she’s already become a powerful figure in the underworld. Ewan is fine, complicated and kind of puzzling to me, and he’s the least interesting part of Grace’s story. Also- massive overuse of the word “lush”.

The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillroy– this book was on a San Francisco reading list and since we were about to go to San Francisco, I put it on my Libby holds. Then a few days before we were going to leave for the Bay Area, I saw a copy of it in the Little Free Library in front of our piano teacher’s house. How fortuitous! Anyhow- this book was fine. It features a meet cute in an elevator in Sam Francisco, an impromptu wedding date and then dating life. It was pleasant enough but there was a certain lack of tension in the relationship- the book features two smart independent people who clearly like each other- they just have to figure out the logistics. The things that could have made the book interesting – namely, she’a Black and he’s White- gets mentioned and then dropped and never really addressed.

On my proverbial Night stand:

The Brontes: Wild Genius on the Moors- so close to finishing this one. Charlotte is getting married!!!!!

My Fair Brady- YA book set in the world of the high school musical.

Sourdough by Robin Sloan – audiobook that I picked because it was on the shorter side and I knew I could get through it before my commutes got shorter. It’s about a woman working in tech who inherits a sourdough starter and it changes her life. Makes me want to revive those starters in my fridge.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi – middle aged female pirate, leaves her ten year old daughter at home to carry our one last, hopefully lucrative, assignment. It is proving delightful so far. I’m laughing a lot.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Opening Nights and Mother’s Day in the City

The view from backstage. The Emperor’s throne is waiting in storage behind the projection screen.

I opened my show! The 12 year old opened her show! The 12 year old closed her show! Yay! It’s been a very packed week.

First of all – the 12 year old’s middle school production of Annie Jr. was delightful! She played Tessie, one of the orphans. Tessie is the one who says, “Oh my goodness! oh my goodness!” The Husband noted that he could pick her out in a crowd because of the huge plaid pocket I put in her pinafore. I couldn’t go to the first performance because I was working, but I went to the second performance, which was also the closing performance. It’s so funny seeing the whole show come together after spending all that time running lines with her. There is something very mechanical about running lines and I was so impressed by how comfortable she was onstage. (In the program, the 12 year old thanked her parents from runnign lines with her!”) And the whole production – I mean obviously the production values aren’t terribly high because it’s middle school, but it had it’s own handmade charm. There was one scene with a couch, and then the couch had to move downstage for the next scene so we watched the kids move it and afterwards I asked the 12 year old why the couch wasn’t on wheels? And she said, “Well, we borrowed it from the Teacher’s Lounge.” Which I think perfectly sums up the whole thing.

In the program, the twelve year old thanked, among others, “…her parents who helped her prepare for auditions, run lines, an boost her confidence.” I thought that was really sweet of her.

And that night after she came home from getting ice cream with her cast mates, she started crying because the whole thing was over and oh how I know that feeling – I think that is one thing that makes theatre so special – that high you get from doing something ephemeral and the low you get from realizing that it’s ephemeral. And even though you know you can audition for more shows, you’ll never repeat this very exact show again with these very exact cast mates.

The night after the 12 year old had her shows, I opened my show. There was a very fancy party afterwards. I wore a dress – the other dress I bought at Macy’s in March when I bought that red jumpsuit that I wrote about last month. This dress probably isn’t quite fancy enough for an opening night party, but it is comfortable and forgiving – the smocked waist is elastic – and flowy, which I like. I wish it came in another colour, because black/white/grey isn’t my favorite color palatte. I don’t wear make-up, and have no clue what to do with my hair now that it hasn’t been cut for a year and is looking a little overgrown, so I think maybe the whole look is a little unpolished – but there are limits to what I want to do with myself and hair and make-up don’t quite make it into those boundaries right now. I did wear heels, though, so there’s that.

The party had all sorts of tasty Asian inspired food, a photo booth, lots of loud music. I had fun talking to people I don’t usually get to talk to. The best thing, though was the fried pickled ginger. Who would have thought to do that? It was DELICIOUS.

The opening night party was the Saturday before Mother’s Day, so it was nice that I kind of had a pass to sleep in (until 8am!) then next morning. All week, the kids had hinted that they had planned a special Mother’s Day. Not to be a grinch, but I kind of don’t love celebrating Mother’s Day. (Or my birthday, or anything where I have to be the center of attention). I don’t like surprises, so the family was going to tell me what they had planned, but then they were giving out tickets to teh White House Garden Tour for Mother’s Day Sunday, and I asked the Husband if he wanted to go. And he said, “But we’ve planned Mother’s Day!” and I reminded him that my father was in town and he could watch the kids and when would we have a chance for free childcare while we go out together again? And he said okay. So on Mother’s Day Sunday, the 11 year old made French toast (perhaps with help from her siblings – I’m not sure since I was in bed), we ate the French toast, I took the 4 year old to her agility class and then when I got home, the Husband and I took the Metro downtown.

First stop was coffee. The Husband had wanted to check out this Indonesian coffee shop for ages, but we were never in the area at the right time. It is a fifteen minute walk from the White House so it was the perfect pitstop. I had a chai and a cherry croissant. The chai was delicious- bitingly spicy and just a hint of sweetness. I asked afterwards who made the chai mix and the barista enthusiastically pointed me to the company, Soul Chai. Definitely check them out if you like your chia spicy and not sugary. I’ll be ordering some for sure.

After coffee, we proceeded to the White House. Now getting tickets to the White House Gardens tour is not exactly a rarified thing. Thousands of tickets are passed out for each weekend of garden tours, and they are free. (Honestly, I’d be annoyed if they weren’t free…) However, I was able to get tickets through work, which meant that I didn’t have to stand in line at 8:30am to get tickets. tl:dr – I found the whole experience rather… underwhelming and would not stand in line for tickets unless you were an American history/government fan.

I think calling it a “Gardens Tour” was a little bit misleading. It was more of a “Grounds Tour”. The pre-ordained path allowed people to view the gardens from a distance, but there weren’t a lot of flowers to be seen as we walked along. My take away – the White House grounds is a lot of grass and trees. Which, I supposed makes sense – grass because you need to land helicopters, and trees because it seems like planting a tree is a beloved activity for past residents of the White House to leave their mark and/or honour an occasion. And I guess if I’m being honest, while the horticultural side of the garden tour felt pallid, the historical part of the tour did feel quite momentous. Here was a tree planted by the Obamas, here are the windows to the Oval Office, here is the Rose Garden and that walk way seen so many time on the West Wing. So I suppose what the garden tour lacked for me in actual garden, it made up in weighty historical significance and that did make for some pondering.

There was a military band playing music throughout the day. They played lots of Disney tunes.

This was as close as we got to the Rose Garden

That’s the oval office there, you can see if you squint.

Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden and Jill Biden’s cut flower garden.

This commemorative oak planted by Herbert Hoover came from Lincoln’s birthplace. I like the juxtaposition of that with the Washington Monument in the background.

After the Gardens Tour, we decided to take in a museum. The White House is next to the Renwick, which is an American Art Museum that focuses on craft and handiwork. I’ve seen several things there, and really found it intriguing so I was eager to go again. I thought there was an Amish quilt exhibit there, but when I arrived, I found that the Amish quilt exhibit was at the American Art Museum in Gallery Place/ Chinatown, which was seven or eight blocks away. Oops. We took in the exhibits at the Renwick anyway, the best being this exhibit of nets hung from the cieling. It was visually appealing, but also relaxing experience because you had to lay down on the floor to get the full impact:

After we took in the other exhibits in the Renwick, we decided to go to the American Art Museum and see the Amish Quilt exhibit after all since the restaurant that we picked for dinner was in that direction anyway.

Love the effect of the black squared to create negative space on this quilt.

I thought this exhibit was stunning and though provoking. What struck me, apart from the visual aspect of the quilts, was the idea that all these quilts hung in a museum, yet they were all labelled “Artist: unidentified” – it made me ponder the tension between quilts that are quite skillfully and and artistically assembled – the patterns and colours are quite intricate – and the Amish who are a modest, attention shunning people. Highly recommend this exhibit.

I love the piecework on this quilt – it looks random, but really has a lot of structure.

After the exhibit, we went to dinner. Recently the New York Times published and article entitled “The 25 Best Restaurants in Washington, DC Right Now.” (Hilariously, the comments are full of people noting that a lot of the restaurants on the list are in the Maryland or Virginia suburb, so the title of the article is misleading. I’m surprised by the vehemence of some of the comments.) Some of the restaurants on the list I’ve been to, but many were new to me, especially those in the city since we very rarely eat out in the city. There is no where I feel my suburban mom-ness more than in a hip DC restaurant. At any rate, we decided to check out a restaurant on the list, Baan Siam, a Thai restaurant in Mount Vernon Square, near Gallery Place. This isn’t like your standard Thai restaurant – pad thai and drunken noodles are nowhere to be seen. The food is from northern Thailand. The Husband and I ordered fried pumpkin, fried spicy mushrooms (enoki mushroom – this was novel because I’d never had fried enoki mushrooms and the long thin shape made it well suited for finger food), spicy chicken in banana leaf (very spicy, but also sweet, sour, and funky in a good way), shrimp chili paste fried rice with fried pork belly, and a small cucumber salad. It was all super flavorful and tasty. And for dessert, we had mango with sticky rice, because of course.

After dinner we took the metro back home, arriving back at the house aroun 7:45pm. When we got home, things were pretty quiet, so the Husband and I snuck in the back door and collapsed on the living room couch waiting for someone to notice we were home. No one did. Everyone ended up going to bed super late- not ideal for a Sunday night, but it was all fine.

Grateful for – the Tech Week edition:

-Blue highlighter. This is sort of a weedy work hack, but – There is one entrance I cue (the green post it) that is in the middle of an orchestral interlude. I like to think I read music pretty well, but I always felt iffy about this entrance, never confident that I was cuing it in the right place. Reading a piano reduction of the orchestral part can be confusing because there are so many notes in the page and I have to figure out which notes correspond to what I’m hearing, and if I don’t count it completely accurately, I get easily lost. Most nights it was kind of a prayer and a “feeling” for where the cue was. So one day during tech, I took a blue highlighter and highlighted the notes of the melody. And suddenly, I could see what I was listening for and I could follow the music and cue the sequence perfectly. Sometimes I just have to highlight what I need and ignore the rest of the notes and I won’t get lost. I’m sure there’s a life lesson in there somewhere.

-dropping my flashlight. One of my backstage tools is my mini Maglite. It is essential for lighting the way backstage when everything is dark. I converted my light with a kit so that it is push button operated instead of twist. Anyhow, at the start of tech, it was working somewhat sporadically which was kind of annoying and I was going to order myself a new one. Then at one point, I accidentally dropped the Maglite on the floor and it started to work! Yay!

-The Husband who held down the fort – handling pick up and dinner and bedtime on his own all week. Also while dealing with a whole slew of plumbing problems at our rental house. And then he even brought all the kids to my dress rehearsal, even though it meant a late night for everyone. I think the 4 year old fell asleep in the last act, but the other two kid watched the whole thing.

-middle school drama programs. For giving my kid such a great experience. For giving her an outlet to be silly and make friends. For giving her a place to go after school. For bringing the community together to cheer these talented and enthusiastic kids on.

Looking Forward To:

-Being home in the evenings – now that my show is open, I’m looking forward to being able to pick up the kids from the school bus, make dinner, put kids to bed and zone out in front of the tv with the Husband watching Brooklyn 99 or 30 Rock or maybe we’ll get to that third season of Ted Lasso.

-Swim Season – We’ve signed up for the pool, and I’m excited to spend time at the pool and to cheer the 12 year old on at swim meets. There were a couple days last week that were blazingly hot and I thought how it feels like summer, but we’re not quite there yet.

-Dirty Meat Party – There is currently twenty pounds of meat marinating in my fridge in preparation for the grilling party that we have every time a certain colleague/friend of mine is in town working on a show. It’s probably the biggest party we throw every year and while I don’t always like having 25 people descend on my house, I do love seeing everyone having a good time. There is some rain in the forecast, which makes me a little nervous because I am ill equipped to put 25 people inside my house. But we can’t postpone it because then the meat will be over-marinated. Also – the party has always been called the Dirty Meat Party, but maybe I should reconsider because as the 7 year old ran to the school bus, he called out, “I can’t wait to eat dirty meat!!!!”

-Reading this – middle aged female pirate goes on adventures. It’s proving delightful so far. I’ve laughed out loud so many times while reading it.

What we ate:
The only dinner I made at home last week was Friday night, my day off. I made this Pearl Couscous with Creamy Feta and Chickpeas . I added some shrimp in the last 5 minutes of baking. It was very tasty, but I wish there was a way to make it a one pot meal. perhaps just cooking it all on the stovetop and not baking it?

In lieu of the other dinners that week, here is another “At Work All Day” lunchbox picture:

Lunch: broccoli quinoa salad, which I had made last week and still working through. Plum.

Dinner: marinated beans with potatoes and arugula. Avocado and a boiled egg to eat along with.

Snacks: cut up apples and hummus, protein bar (from Costco, really just a glorified candy bar), two carrots (yes, I just toss them in whole. easier that way), beef stick (actually for the drive home to snack on when I get sleepy.)

Weekly recap + what we ate: Tech week and loving one’s job

Props are packed and ready to go to the theatre!

Half way through tech week! I had this idea that I would go one of those “Photo every hour” posts that Engie or Stephany do periodically- I thought it might be a a good way to capture a day of tech for me to look back on. Hah hah. Once we got into the evening rehearsal, shit gets real and I couldn’t keep up. Friday, our first tech rehearsal onstage, was particularly busy – our Production Assistant was out sick, so I had to do their job and my job. I logged 25,000 steps and climbed 34 flights of stairs that day. Part of the reason for all those stairs is that our set is three levels high. Here’s the view from the top level:

(Side note – it’s been much debated on how to refer to the levels of the set. There is a ground level, a middle level and a top level. Now if, in rehearsal, someone says, “Go to the second level,” which level would you go to? I would go to the mid level, but many people would go to the top level. We eventually just ended up calling them “mid” and “top” level.)

But I did take some pictures throughout the day, so here is a dump of pictures of that first day of tech last week, in and around the “intense, running around, and checking attendance, and listening to instructions, and relaying instructions to cast and crew, and why is everyone talking all at once? and making sure people didn’t get run over by the scenery or props, and took their cues on time and oh my god, and, how do we get thirty people onstage through that three foot wide gap? and yes, you should wear the hat now and no, now you take it off, here, just give it to me, and are people going to make their costume changes in time for their next cue? No they aren’t, they’ve just missed their entrance, and where are the dancers? and we need to give them a break, and what is that rule in our union contract? and the director wants to do things a different way, okay we’ll make that work, and we want to add fire? and this singer is now dead, can they go home or will we go back and do their scene again? and oh my goodness, we managed to tech through the whole show, thank GOD” part of the day….

Thursday was a set looks (where stage management and the director looks at the set for the first time and decide that, “Yep, this is what we were expecting.” and we make all sorts of discoveries as to how people will get onstage.) and then a Stizprobe (first time singers are with orchestra – sit and sing).

Friday was the first Piano Tech rehearsal, the first time onstage staging rehearsal for everyone. This is what was in my camera roll for that day:

6:30am – wake up – summer morning sunlight and I make the bed.

7:35am – roll out my yoga mat for 10 mins of yoga. The 4 year old helps.

8:30am – breakfast, eaten at the kitchen counter, with a book. Cottage cheese and blueberries – I’m trying to eat high protein/ high fiber breakfasts and lean away from the heavy carb breakfasts. Which is hard because bagels are tasty.

8:45a – quick 5 minutes of laundry folding before taking the kids to the school bus. Those three small folded piles all I manage to fold in five minutes.

10:30am- At work. paperwork. Make rehearsal logs for the day. Usually our production assistant does this, but they are sick this day. That’s my favorite brand of mechanical pencil – and I found that they sell it with a red barrel. Red is my favorite colour, so I ordered a whole box of them.

12:30p – lunch, sitting outside. I’m going to spend much of the day running around in the dark – Gotta grab sunlight when I can.

1:15pm – checking attendance. The rehearsal scheduling department gives me a list of people who are running late to rehearsal.

2:30pm – An hour into the first piano tech rehearsal. My music stand.

4:30pm – random picture of how we want to set this giant 30′ silk onstage – I take pictures of a lot of things because sometimes it’s easier than trying to describe to the crew how we want things to look. Sometimes I say things like, “That guillotine needs to be centered this spot on stage.” And it still isn’t clear because everyone has their own perspective and they move the thing here and there and I try to explain and then finally it goes in the right place and the crew says,. “You mean the upstage edge needs to split center?”. And I say, “Yes, thank you,” And I think to myself, “It probably would have been clearer if I had said it that way. Thank you for figuring that out.”

6:00pm – Run at dinner time. The weather was beautiful.

7:00pm – Quick picture in the bathroom of my piano tech outfit. I always wear the same thing – floral patterned top (Uniqlo) and linen joggers (Gap – patched in two places and maybe need to be replaced soon.). I like to wear bright colours during tech so I can be seen onstage. I do wear shoes, but I had just changed out of my running clothes and hadn’t put them on yet.

9:30pm – one hour left in the evening rehearsal, back at my music stand for a moment. These blue index cards are where I write who is making an entrance. If it’s just a handful of people, I will write it directly on a Post It, but when there are 30+, I write it on an index card and put it in my binder. I often only write first initial and last two letters of last name. ie. John Smith would be JSm. I had an assistant director once who called these the “airport codes” for each chorister. It’s a good feeling for me that I’ve been with these choristers so long that when I’m writing down the mass chorus group, writing their airport code takes no mental effort at all.

11:33pm – screenshot. Sometimes when I’m leaving and I realized I’ve I forgotten to log out of my timesheet, I take a screenshot of my phone so I remember what time I walked out the door. I get a lot of spam in my email.

12:10am – arrive home. I find that the lunchboxes I ordered for the kids have arrived. Yay! In the past week, one child has cracked their lunchbox and the other has lost theirs (I don’t want to be the one to open that lost lunch box when it is recovered…). I do have one extra for each child, but I like having a few spares for those times when the lunchbox doesn’t get cleaned the night before. I love these Sistema lunchboxes because they are relatively inexpensive and they can go in the dishwasher. And they are durable. We’ve had ours for about four years now. I was going to buy just one spare, but amazon also sold them in a four pack for about $12/each, so I went that route. They are getting harder to find, so I worry what will happen when Sistema stops making this size. Maybe I should order another 4 pack…

And that was a photo summary of Day 1 of tech. Day 2 of tech was Saturday, and I didn’t have to be at the theatre until 1pm, so I did a load of laundry (and hung it to dry), took the 7 year old to his morning soccer – the game was on despite the drizzly drizzly weather, and then dropped the 12 year old to her voice lesson on the way to work. On the days when I don’t have to be in until 1pm, I feel like the morning should be luxurious, but then it fills ups, especially on weekends. I spent the first part of the day at work light walking – basically we stand onstage while the lighting designer sets light levels – which is kind of tedious, but can be beautiful:

The evening was a piano dress rehearsal, first time in costume. It’s always a very long night, but we got through the whole show, which is always good.

Here is a random spot of beauty on asphalt, to break up all the work goings on, as seen on my run:

Doing Something You Love. I had a text exchange with a colleague last week. She was asking me about someone that had worked with me as a Production Assistant previously. (Side note: This really happens. Not sure how it is in other industries, but word of mouth is huge. It doesn’t matter who you list as a reference – if I know you’ve worked with someone I know, I will often have a casual conversation about you.). This former Production Assistant wanted to move on from stage management, and I replied to my colleague, “I think I knew she wanted to do something different. I’m always surprised when people don’t want to be stage managers because I genuinely like what I do a lot.” And my colleague wrote back – “Me either… I love what I do.”

Then I heard this interview with filmmaker Caitlin Cronenberg, who is the daughter of a famous filmmaker. And Cronenberg was asked about her feelings on nepotism, and she said, “You know, there are children of people doing things, and it’s because you look at your family member making art for a living and enjoying what they do. And you say, I want to love what I do. I want to make art for a living. And that’s why so many actors, so many directors and producers have children who are also in the business.

And it made me think how the 12 year old used to say that she wanted to be a stage manager, and I always thought that it was because she thought the work was interesting. But maybe, that isn’t it. Maybe she realizes that finding something you love to do – whether that is your job, or something outside of your job – that is important. And maybe she thinks, “Hey, there’s this thing that mom really loves doing… maybe I would love doing that too.” It made me think about how much my children pick up on the attitude/emotions/moods that I exude and how important it is to model that intangible quality – we all want our children to be happy, so they also need to have models of how to be happy. I hope that the 12 year old finds something that she loves doing. She doesn’t have to love it 100% of the time – I certainly don’t love my job 100% of the time; I most certainly don’t love parenting or painting or writing 100% of the time – but she has to love enough aspects of that thing that she finds periodic joy in doing it – not the results, not the end product, but in the doing.

Grateful For:
-The sanitation workers who pick up our trash and recycling. The other day, I came home after dropping the kids at school and the recycling trucks were making their routes. They just finished our house, and then I saw them take my elderly neighbor’s trash and recycling cans back up her driveway for her. It was such a nice thing for them to do! The Husband, who used to work for the county’s solid waste department, says that if you have difficulties putting your trash cans at the bottom of your drive, you can have your house coded so that the sanitation workers come get your trash cans and put them back if you want – there are special colour trash bins for this. I love that. I guess taking trash cans down to the curb was one of those things I took for granted (the 12 year old does it at our house), and I’m glad that there are provisions for people for whom it is difficult.

-Child minders. There are 20 children in our show. I am so grateful for the child minders to when the children to and from stage and keep an eye on them when they are not onstage.

-my sewing machine. I spent Sunday finishing up the 12 year old’s costume for Annie. I had to hem the pinafore, so I plugged in my sewing machine that has been dormant for several months now, and it worked. My mother in law had passed this sewing machine down to me – I believe it belonged to her aunt. It isn’t fancy – pretty much just does a straight stitch – but I don’t need fancy for where I am in my sewing skills. I was able to hem the pinafore. Then I added a pocket with some scrap fabric, because I know when I work on shows we are always asking for pockets in costumes. Then I looked at everything together, and the muslin pinafore looked a little bright, so I tea dyed it. It was my first time tea dying something and the process was pretty easy. It’s hard to tell in the picture, but the pinafore is now a light brown color. Also – another skill I did for the first time, is I made a button hole! The top of the dress dipped a little low in the front, so I added a button and made a button hole. Oh – here’s another gratitude – I’m grateful for creators who post tutorials of how to do things on the internet.

Old faithful sewing machine. I say a prayer of thanks every time it manages to turn on and work. Look – it’s the beginning of a buttonhole!

Looking forward to:
-Opening Night for me!

-Opening Night for the 12 year old!

-Orchestra rehearsals. We start adding the Orchestra to our rehearsals this week. I often think how lucky I am that I get to listen to a full orchestra play all the time. The wall of sound, the colours of the different instruments, the bone vibrating sensation of six trumpets and six trombones playing backstage, right next to me. There is something so amazing about that degree of unamplified music -so immediate and so grand. I love it all.

-Watching Starstruck. I started the third season of this show while making lasagna last week. I loved the first two seasons of this rom com about Jessie, who unknowingly hooks up with a famous movie star Tom in Season 1 and the fall out from that. The show is hilarious and touching. I don’t usually like shows where people make a mess of their lives, but there is something I really relate to in Jessie.

What We Ate:
Monday: Butter chicken – I used the leftover sauce from the Butter Chicken I made a few weeks ago, but I probably should have cooked it on the stove rather than in the Instant Pot because it was very runny.

Tuesday: Not sure – Husband cooked. I took myself out for Thai food because it was the day of the final room run and I wanted to eat something special.

Wednesday: Zucchini Pesto Lasagna from Smitten Kitchen Keepers. We had a bunch of zucchini to use up. And I figured this would be good for leftovers as well. It was tasty, but very cheesy. I find lasagna is always a lot of work, and I could have the same results by just making the sauce and veggies and tossing it with noodles rather than layering and baking in a tray.

Thursday: Not sure – Husband cooked, I think…. I packed dinner, see below…

Friday: Pizza (take out) and an Avengers movie. I packed dinned, see below…

Saturday: No idea.

Sunday: leftovers/scrounge in the fridge. My brain was so fried by this point, I can’t even remember if I made the kids dinner. Oh wait. yes I did. I boiled some pasta, tossed in broccoli during the last three minutes, drained and mixed in the leftover ricotta sauce from Wednesday’s lasagna, for a cheesy, broccoli pasta. (See – I did just what I said above – mixed the lasagna sauce with cooked pasta and veggies and it was just a tasty a much less work.

Since I don’t really have an idea of what the family had for dinner for most of last week, as I was away most nights last week, I thought I’d take a picture of a typical food pack that I bring to work on any given day during tech week when I usually eat both lunch and dinner at work. This was actually from Thursday, but then I ended up going out for lunch that day and didn’t eat most of this and so just re-packed it and took it on Friday:

Lunch: Broccoli Quinoa Salad, avocado, hard boiled egg, plum

Dinner: zucchini pesto lasagna, cut up veggies and apple slices

Snacks for throughout the day: another container of veggies and apple slices, hummus, roasted chickpeas, mini pretzels, string cheese, mixed nuts. (Also at the office we have peanut m&ms, peanut butter pretzels, chocolate caramels, and gummy Nerds.).

Aside from breakfast, this all gets me through the day.

That’s it for last week. It’s been exhausting, but I am excited about the show. Also excited to be opened and to pick up around the house a little bit.

What do you love doing? And taking a poll: Which level would you call the “second level”?