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Weekly recap + what we ate: outdoor adventures

I’ve been inspired by the 1000 hours outside movement. At least for me and the baby. I don’t have as much control over the two older kids since they are at school for most of the day. I know they definitely don’t get outside as much as I want. I often rant that when I was their age (*eye roll, sigh*) we had recess twice a day, plus at lunch. The nine year old currently gets 30-45 minutes of outdoor time at school all day. And none if there is even a hint of moisture in the air. At any rate, I can do my best to make sure we get out during the weekends, and that they have the right clothing to brave the elements come colder weather.

This weekend, we managed two outdoor adventures. One was planned weeks in advance and the other was a rather impromptu affair.

The impromptu trip was prompted by a project the nine year old had for class. She had to build an indigenous dwelling. There was also an option to make a poster or design a pamphlet, but we regarded those options with scorn and declared that we would b building a model. I never had to do a diorama or such model when I was in school, but the Husband did. And, given that his father was an architect, the Husband actually did very little of his own building.

I’ve come to the conclusion that diorama and model assignments for fourth graders are really a long term learning experience so that forty years later they can build dioramas and models for their children. Yes, we may have co-opted her assignment a little.

Anyhow, Saturday morning, my husband did some googling and it turns out that there is a reproduction of an American Indian Village at Patuxent River Park, about an hour and a half from where we lived. So after soccer and dance lessons, we piled into the car and went on a spur of the moment jaunt. (With three kids, I feel like three hours advance planning counts as “spur of the moment.”). When we arrived, only one of the housing displays was still up, but luckily it was the shelter that the nine year old had planned to make anyway: a longhouse. After checking out the longhouse frame, we went on a forest ramble. The trail map indicated that the trail went to the water, but in reality, it went to an overlook of marshland with a very tree filled view. Once could catch sight of slivers of water between the branches. But it being fall, the foliage made the view pretty great anyway.

Slight view of the water, but still some neat moments of nature

The next day came the planned adventure: a family hike at a local park lead by a naturalist. The baby and I had gone on one of these hikes before, but this time the whole family came along. Only the baby fell asleep on the way there so the Husband stayed behind and went on a little ramble with her when she woke up an hour later.

Going on a hike with a park naturalist Katrina was really eye opening. I think it’s one thing to wander the woods on your own and do some forest bathing, but there is something really special about going with someone who will point out all the little details in nature that I would have missed otherwise. Like all the tiny variation of mushroom. And the sliver trail left by a slug on a leaf. And even though I’ve always let my kids climb on trees and fallen logs, there was something to not only having the park authority tell us it was okay, but even point out the best logs for climbing. She also, upon hearing of the nine year old’s longhouse project, pointed out what she thought would be the best tree bark to use and helped us gather some. And when the four year old started losing steam, Katrina pulled out a deck of nature games to play.

My third big outdoor adventure last week was going on a hike at the nearby nature center called “What’s that Tree?” For this hike, a naturalist taught us how to identify trees by looking at the location, bark, leaves, and buds. Looking at buds, I found really hard at first, but eventually I started to see how buds all grew in different patterns and angles. The nature center leads a winter Tree Identification hike which is all bark and buds, and I think I might sign up for that one; it sounds like a really great challenge. Even though this was billed as an adult hike, I put the baby in her carrier and brought her along. And the Husband even took the morning off work to come too… it was almost like at date! I think I can now identify a boxelder and an American hornbeam, two trees that I wasn’t even aware of before the hike.

The other big project this week was the Halloween costumes. The nine year old had a class Halloween party, so there was a bit of an earlier timeline for her Princess Leia on Hoth costume. Luckily everything arrived in time and then I made a braid on a headband for her to wear and also the badge. The badge was a print out from the internet modge podged onto a piece of cardboard and then attached to a magnetic name tag from a former job. I had a moment when I was trying to decide whether or not it was worth it to give up this name tag, this relic of a on of my favorite gigs, for my child’s Halloween costume. And then I realized I was being silly and putting too much pressure on a a little name tag so I covered it in hot glue and slapped the badge on it.

The Millenium Falcon was chipped away at a little every night. I feel like it kind of deserves its own post because it was kind of huge but also a lot of fun to make.

Good things this week:

-Promising vaccine news for the kids. (Even more promising by the time I hit “post” on this.)

-Rainy Friday. I feel like the weather is finally turning to cold and wet autumn after unseasonably warm temperatures so far. But I love the crisp cold nip of air, and the shiny sheen of a rainy day. I’m so glad I finally decided to get rainboots last year.

-Pumpkin #1 is carved. The nine year old designed a cat face. I always dread carving pumpkins because of the mess and the time it takes. But this only took half and hour and clean up was pretty easy. So maybe I’m getting better at the whole pumpkin thing. I do actually like the carving process, it’s just that thinking about it is worse that the actual doing.

Notice the baby doing the nine year old’s homework.

-The baby will not require speech services. Hooray! We had her re-assessed by the county’s Infants and Toddler’s program since she still wasn’t talking much at her two year appointment. To our surprise, she actually was not showing the required 25% delay to receive services. She’s more like 10% delayed Turns out, that while she doesn’t have a lot of words, the way in which she is using the few words that she has is actually on track for her age -things like matching picture and words with real objects, being able to answer “where” questions, being able to name people, consistently using the words that she does have, and being able to whisper, using words to represent actions. Her lowest scores, since she was assessed in a variety of developmental areas, was in soci0-emotional areas. But the therapists said this was not uncommon for babies who have had such limited interaction during the pandemic. I still feel like such developmental assessments are somewhat arbitrary and can cause undue concern, but it is good to know what boxes are being checked off. The therapists left us with some tips for helping to grow her vocabulary and went on their way.

-Apple pie from September’s apple picking adventure. And finally getting a pie server. No more awkward attempts to serve pie (or cake!) with a butter knife.

-Inspiring thought for the week – I was listening to the Life Kit episode featuring Oliver Burkman who wrote a book 4000 weeks: Time Management for Mortals. I really liked that his approach to time was so different from the manic ultra-high productivity that seems to be so common in time management writing today. One thing he said in this interview – a thought which he attributes to James Hollis – is that rather than asking if something makes you happy, ask yourself “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me.” He goes on to say how parenting rarely makes one happy, but that it certainly can fall in the “enlarge” category. I feel that in our current climate of almost radical self-care, the enlarge/diminish question is perhaps a truer way to answer questions of what is worth spending our time on.

What We Ate:
This was a fun week because the four year old planned the menu this week.

Saturday: Take Out Indian following out Patuxent River Park Adventure.

Sunday: Leftovers

Monday: Request from four year old was “Pasta”. I made Eggplant Pasta from the America’s Test Kitchen’s Bowls cookbook.

Tuesday: “Rice and Green Beans!” Clean out the veggie drawer stir fry. I think in addition to green beans there was bok choy, broccoli, red bell pepper, and I’m sure there was something else too.

Wednesday: “Chicken Soup!” Chicken Bok Choy soup. Pretty easy improvised recipe: boil chicken tenders in chicken stock, remove and shred. Throw mushrooms, carrots and sliced bock choy, soy sauce, garlic, sesame oil and star anise into chicken stock, boil until veggies are just tender, then throw in chicken dumplings and the shredded chicken and simmer until dumplings are done.

Thursday: The Husband make Spanish rice and black beans. (The request from the four year old was “Black beans with sprinkle”) He is trying to cook his way through the Betty Crocker’s Cooking Basics cookbook that he received in college.

Friday: Pizza and and failed attempt to watch Star Wars. Which might have been related to a failure to do chores. Sigh.

Weekly recap + what we ate: routines to lead us back to fall

Trying to get back in the habit of recapping our week and dinner menus.

And here we are in October. September seemed a blur of finding the rhythm of new routines. But actually I feel like it’s October when things finally find their pace. Of the four weeks in September, I think there was only one week where the nine year old went to school for all five days. Each weekend, too, brought a new activity – Soccer and Mandarin for the four year old, dance and swim for the nine year old. Two activities for each older child didn’t seem like a lot when I was doing the sign ups, but since I opted to place them on the weekend rather than spread over the weekdays, they are starting to add up to a chunk of our weekend. We’re still trying to figure out the right balance of “fun” time vs. “free” time.

Lest she feels left out, while her siblings are at school, the baby is doing a music class – meh – and a swim class – actually very fun. And we go on lots of walk and visit the playground frequently. Fall colour is starting to make an appearance, a little at odds with the 80 degree weather some days.

In the “made my life easier” category, the school district added a bus stop for the nine year old’s bus just down the street. In fact, it is in front of the four year old’s school. Even though we have to leave five minutes sooner than before to be able to walk to the bus stop, I think there is something psychologically easier about walking fifteen minutes rather than driving ten minutes as we used to do. After the bus picks up the nine year old, the four year old and the baby go to the nearby playground for twenty or thirty minutes before I drop the four year old at preschool. I’m finding it a really relaxing way to start the morning, particularly after the rush and hustle of morning routines.

And the afternoon drops off in the same location too. There was a little bit of mental calculus to decide if it was worth having her take the longer bus ride so that we could pick her up closer to home. On the one hand, it makes for one pick up location for both kids. On the other hand, she’s now on the bus for about an hour coming home. I figure we’ll try it until it turns out not to be a great solution. But I have to admit being able to walk to drop off and pick up has been kind of ideal.

The baby turned two in September.

She has started to nap somewhat consistently if I lay the day out right. Namely, if I don’t put her in a car between the hours of 11am and 1pm, I have a reasonably good chance of getting her home, putting some lunch in her, and then having her go down for a nap. Of course, often we are out and about in the mornings so putting her in a car during that window is unavoidable. Then I am stuck with the dilemma of letting her sleep and get her nap in and being stuck in the car, or waking her up to get her lunch and hope that the nap train has not left for good. With the former, it does allow me to get some reading done. With the latter… if it works that she does nap, then I can get some things on my to do list accomplished. Of course, most of the time the nap doesn’t manifest itself with the latter.

I’ve become used to doing more mental calculus for the repercussions of waking the sleeping baby. It usually goes something like… “Is the stuff of my to do list doable with a baby around? Is it computer tasks (then, no because she is very good at climbing onto my chair and swiping at my keyboard). Is it pick up or meal prep – in which case it’s okay to let her run rampant through the house…” Tasks are ranked in my head according to ease of execution with a toddler around and level of importance. Of course some days, she falls a sleep on me and then nothing gets done. I’m trying to savor the sweet weight of a sleeping baby in my lap. I’m getting a lot of reading done.

I’m trying to find adventures for us to go one. I found out that the nature center at one of our regional parks has toddler appropriate story times and hikes, so we’ve signed up for many of those. The naturalist who leads them is wonderfully engaging. She approaches every log, leaf, and hole in the ground with and infectious curiosity and enthusiasm. I’ve come to realize that my kids (and I as well, let’s be honest) can more easily distinguish a FedEx truck from a UPS truck than they can distinguish the many variety of trees that surround us. That seems unfortunate to me. The park naturalist gave me some great resources for identifying things in nature and I’m excited to explore that more.

We also managed to go apple picking, one Saturday in September. We came home with a ridiculous amount of apples. In addition to the apples we picked, we brought home an enormous bag of seconds. The Husband reasoned that the apples we picked should be for pies and eating out of hand, shuddering at the idea that we use it for apple sauce. The four year old was quite excited by the prospect of making apple sauce, however. Hence the bag of seconds. Half of the seconds have been made into apple sauce and frozen. Some years I can the apple sauce, but having canned a bushel of peaches in August, I didn’t have any more jars left. So into the freezer for this batch of sauce. If I get my act together, maybe the next batch will be canned. There was also apple pie filling made, and one actual apple pie. There is still filling for a second and third pie.

At the beginning of October, there was an art installation down on the Mall to commemorate the lives lost to COVID. 600,000 flags were planted at the foot of the Washington Monument. Some of the flags were inscribed with messages from people in honour of a lost loved one. When the exhibit was over, the artist asked for volunteers to help take down the flags, so I took the baby and we drove downtown to help. We went the second day of the strike, when about half of the flags had already been removed. Even still, what remained of the installation was still a heart stopping sight. Seeing the sea of flags fluttering in the breeze, all light and movement, quantifies the lives lost in a way that merely looking at number on a dashboard couldn’t.

I have to say, I miss being able to jump on the metro and pop down on a whim to the Mall to see the monuments and museums. The clean white marble lines, the vast expanses of green, and the buildings full of things of note, being able to meander through at my own pace because I know that I can come back easily. This is one of the aspects of pre-pandemic life I miss the most.

What We Ate – So far in October:

Monday: Falafel and Greek Salad – Falafel is from America’s Test Kitchen Vegan for Everyone Cookbook. The door on our toaster oven broke – and we finally decided to replace it. The new toaster oven comes with an air fryer function. I’m learning that this is just a fancy way of saying high heat convection. Anyhow, I tried and experiment with the falafel where I fried half of it in oil and used the air fryer for half. The falafel fried in oil tasted better. No surprise there. But… the air fryer did a great job of reheating the falafel the next day. So I guess that’s a win. The falafel recipe was also delicious. It called for using soaked dried chick peas rather than cooked, and a touch of cinnamon.

Tuesday: Quesadillas from Dinner Illustrated. By which I mean I used their method of cooking them in the oven rather than in the frying pan. The filling was my own inspiration – black beans, peppers (from the garden!), corn, pepper jack cheese.

Wednesday: Eggplant with Coconut Rice from Meera Sodha’s East.

Thursday: Mac and cheese from Dinner Illustrated. The recipe features chard and there was much skepticism going in, but everyone declared it tasty in the end. Yay.

Friday: Pizza and Curious George. We’ve been making homemade pizza again now that the weather has somewhat cooled and turning the oven to 525 degrees is something we can contemplate. It was the 4 year old’s turn to choose the movie. This was a version of Curious George from 2006 and there is some awkward dated bits, particularly the colonial tone of the parts set in Africa.

Saturday: Dumplings and cucumber salad.

Sunday: Leftovers. We are trying out having leftovers for Sunday dinner. The purpose is twofold: 1) clean out the fridge, and 2) getting dinner on the table with minimal effort between the 4 year old coming home from Mandarin classes and the 9 year old’s swim practice. I’m learning that there are leftovers no one is ever going to eat. But at least this way it won’t be because we forgot about them.

Monday: Tofu Scramble on Toast from Meera Sodha’s East. A vegan version of breakfast for dinner.

Tuesday: Take out since we got home late from flag gathering. Chinese. Really spicy, but super delicious.

Wednesday: Harvest bowls – Farro, lentils, roast sweet potatoes, apples, cranberries, feta, and kale. From America’s Test Kitchen’s Bowls cookbook. I’m really liking this cookbook. Everything is so customizable. It’s kind of more like a book of ideas.

Thursday; Carmelized Onion Ramen from East. Tasty. I always like eating noodles. Apple pie for dessert.

Friday: pizza and Baketopia. We recently discovered that our favorite Italian Deli also sells pizza dough. It’s really good. Much better than anything I can make – it bakes up super puffy and crispy. Game changer.

On not saying good-bye

Last week I heard of the passing of yet another opera colleague. Not one that knew personally, but one who I know touched the lives of so many people and of whom many glowing things were spoken. The composer Carlisle Floyd also passed away in the last days of September. His opera Susannah was the first show I called as an AGMA stage manager. I loved that piece – beautiful and darkly dramatic. Kind of like a Tosca for our age. A “shabby little shocker” and a great evening at the theatre.

A few weeks prior, I heard of the passing of a beloved director with whom I had worked with many times. A wonderful gentleman who loved life and drama and met it with kindness, generosity and a twinkle in his eye. From him I learned that the relationship between the artist and the audience is one of humility and gratitude and never to take for granted the privilege we have of being able to tell stories for a living.

I’ve always hated opening night parties and closing night parties. After opening nights, the director and design team leaves and you have to say good-bye. And then again on closing night you say good-bye to the cast and crew. I am wretched at saying good-bye. It always feels uncomfortable and makes me self-conscious. I work at a job where saying good-bye and moving on is a certainty – so why is there so much sentimentality for something that is just part of the job? On the other hand I think creating something forms bonds and properly saying good-bye honors that in a way. At any rate, I’ve taken to trying not to say good-bye. I say, “Until next time.”

This morning I went on a bright autumn walk with a friend. She is a former opera colleague, and we got to talk about the recent deaths of beloved industry colleagues. “The thing I think that is the hardest,” I said, “is that one of the joys of our profession is the idea of ‘until we meet again’. You never know when you will work together, but you have faith that paths will cross and art will be made. And now, there are so many people that we know we will never work with them again. It’s even more hard particularly right now when we’ve waited so long for even the possibility of working with them again.”

The pandemic – and life during the pandemic – has taken so many lives since March of 2020. There is something so very raw and personal, though, about the passings of these last few weeks. Maybe it’s because they were people whom I had a connection with, that I still held out hope of working with. Maybe it’s because after a year and a half of colleagues and collaborators being so distant, we are finally emerging to come together again in rehearsal rooms, familiarly and with new precautions. And that emergence had brought the glimmer of possibility that those relationships that had been banked will now be able to be stoked and rekindled.

Many of my colleagues in the arts have managed to work through the pandemic. They’ve brilliantly embraced technology and health and safety protocols to create on their own and with other people. I’ve enjoyed seeing many of their efforts and held their tenacity to our art with awe and a little bit of jealousy. But aside from seven weeks this summer, I have felt too overwhelmed with the fires on the domestic front to contemplate looking for work in this new pandemic cautious world.

As I’ve watched these projects scroll across my social media feeds, I’ve been happy for those that manage to still create and support creators. And I’ve known that yes, someday, I would be able to get back out there too, and thought, wouldn’t it be cool to work with those people too? And that possibility brought a hopeful buoyancy to that part of me that loved my job and what we do. While I am struck with the loss of future collaborations, I know that there will be many more to come. Yet still, I grieve those who will no longer be with us when the curtain goes up again.

Haikus for May, June and July

Get back on the bike
Show up and write anything
Back in the habit.

May:

Verdantly dancing,
Winter limbs don leafy coats
All the shades of green.

Exoskeletons
Sunshine trough cicada shells
Jewels left behind.

He slurps his noodles
A bowl of surprise and wonder
Discov’ring mushrooms.

Good Morning Spring Sun!
Slanting through kitchen windows
Stabs me in the eye.

June:

Cicadas flutter
on buzzing wings to treetops
alarmingly loud.

Ghost lights in water
Splash strokes, propelling shadows
Summer dusk swim meet.

June heat blankets me
in a thick layer of air,
prompts my lethargy.

The taste of summer skin
baking in the poolside heat
Sunscreen and chlorine.

The baby dances
unobserved in the kitchen.
It’s true what they say.

July:

Brood X now silent,
Bodies dissolved into earth
Leaving brown-tipped trees.

Skies open, rain storms.
Skies open, sunshine. Briefly.
Enough for a swim.

Weekly recap + what we ate – back to work

My camera roll is surprisingly empty this week. Well, empty of pictures that I took myself. It is somehow filled with selfies taken by the nine year old. Sometimes she loops her brother and sister into her shenanigans. As a result, I get surprise photos and videos in my feed when the iPad synchs with the cloud. I find it a cute, even while I am annoyed that she is co-opting my iCloud storage. The other day we had words about something and she recorded an apology on the iPad that popped up in my photo roll on my phone. It was hard to stay mad at that.

Anyhow this week was kind of a fresh start. The nine year old started camp and I started prep for my next show. I had enrolled the nine year old in a county camp – nothing fancy, just arts, crafts, games and plenty of time outdoors. The main virtue of the camp, quite honestly, was that it was incredibly inexpensive – $275 for six weeks, when most camps charge at least that much for a single week – and also that it is about a mile and a half from our house. She did walk to camp one morning with my dad, and I’m thinking I might do the walk with her on mornings when I don’t have to be at work in the morning. The one shortcoming of the camp is that it only runs until 3pm. This isn’t a problem for me since my parents pick her up, but I do realize that this makes this super affordable camp a non-option for many working parents.

For me, it was a combination of working from home and a day or two working on site. I’m learning to be more efficient with my time when I’m working at home. Working from home was definitely much easier this week since my parents were in town and could help watch the kids.

Even though I try not obsessively document my life in photos, I do notice that when my photo roll is empty, it means I’ve been particularly immersed in the “doing” of life, rather than remembering to take time to find the things to be savor or to be grateful for.

Good things this week, then:
– long visit with a friend whose kids are at the camp adjacent to the nine year old’s camp. It was great to catch up and talk about deep and frivolous things. The two younger kids came along and the four year old plays cars by himself for ninety minutes. I love that he can get in such a flow state of play. Also – I showed him a transformer and he was adorably amazed. “It’s a truck that turns into a robot!!!!”
– The nine year old had a couple swim meets this week. I took her to one and the Husband took her to one. I’m still finding it a little awkward to make conversation with other parents at these meets, but I do enjoy seeing the event management and planning that goes on to make the meets happen. The parents are all assigned tasks at the meet; I was a timer. Putting stage management skills to work, I guess. I find it interesting to see other pools as we travel for meets.
– I am really excited for this next opera I’m working on because it reunites me with a colleague whom I absolutely love working with. Actually she was one of the reasons I decided to take this job.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Snack dinner – hummus, crackers, cheese, whatever I could scrounge from the fridge. Still recovering from the camping trip.

Sunday: Burrito bowls from Dinner Illustrated. Pantry meal.

Monday: Hot dog at swim meet and Chipotle afterwards

Tuesday: Cacio e Pepe udon noodles and cucumber salad.

Wednesday: Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and cucumbers. (Another swim meet night – the Husband took the nine year old, and I stayed home with the kids)

Thursday: Rice Pilaf with corn and shrimp from Milk Street Fast and Slow. InstantPot recipe to eat after swim practice

Friday: pizza take-out and In the Heights. Big movie – big dance numbers, big bold colours, big emotions, big voices.

Stage Management Skills in Real Life: resetting for the top

The other day I turned my back and the baby dumped a box of Cheerios on the floor. I snapped a picture and sent it to my friend. “Cheerios are my version of Nutcracker snow, ” I wrote.

For those who don’t work backstage, let me explain. At the end of the first act of the perennial Christmas favorite The Nutcracker, there is a huge snow scene. Vast amounts of snow is dropped from above the stage, blanketing the stage, drifting into the wings, coating the dancers. So much snow also means intermission clean up. I am forever finding little white bits of Nutcracker snow somewhere backstage, even deep into spring. But it is huge part of the show. So every performance snow gets showered on the floor. And every intermission the crew sweeps it up so they can set for the next act.

(I guess the opera version of Nutcracker snow would be Madama Butterfly flower petals. And there was a recent production of Eugene Onegin that featured a leaf drop with similar pervasiveness.)

And so it is with that box of Cheerios. It starts on the table. The baby dumps it on the floor. I clean it up. It gets dumped on the floor again. The cycle begins again. And for the rest of the day, I will be finding Cheerios in all obscure corners of the dining room.

Putting up a show is often an exercise in creating and then dismantling then restoring in order to create again. A scene moves forward, props get used then discarded. Costume pieces get worn then removed. Scenery shifts. Then you get to the end of the show and then everything gets returned to it’s starting place so you can do it all over again. And the same things happen again. The same props move, the same costume pieces are put on and off, the same scenery changes position. Then the crew scrambles to put it all back together again.

We call it “Re-setting for the Top”, this act of putting everything back to where we started so that we can do it all over again.

But in reality, it’s not always the same. Particularly in rehearsal. Things change, singers find new nuances in their portrayal. Directors change traffic patterns to clarify the story they are trying to tell. Dancers, adjust a position or a movement. Even stage managers, who are supposed to be the soul of consistency, even we find subtle ways to make things better or more efficient – perhaps that prop should be preset facing the other way for ease of pick up. Or maybe this entrance order needs to be adjusted to get those who sing first onstage at the front of the line. Or maybe I need to move that post-it in my book so that I see it sooner and throw the cue on time. There are always big tweaks and little tweaks that can be made.

The second act of La Boheme, despite being one of the busiest scenes in all of opera-dome is actually quite short – usually kissing twenty minutes. In a three hour rehearsal, even with thirty minutes of chorus breaks, you can run Act Two at least five times, maybe six or seven if you’re fast at re-setting. That’s a lot of re-setting. But at the same time, it’s a lot of chances to figure out how to make things better.

There is a saying that life isn’t a dress rehearsal, the implication being that the curtain is up and we are living our one shot in front of an audience. But I think, the people who say this don’t truly understand rehearsal. Or life. I think, perhaps life is indeed like a rehearsal. Despite this being our one precious life, I don’t think that we are here to get it right on the first take; it’s a process. It’s a process of learning and trying and failing and clarifying and then trying again. Perhaps we need to be more forgiving of ourselves and of others and realize that everyone should get an opportunity to reset for the top, another chance to try things again until one arrives where one wants to be.

This includes that baby and the box of Cheerios. I’ll keep resetting that box, and perhaps one day, instead of dumping the Cheerios on the floor, she will finally figure out how to pour it into her bowl and get herself breakfast.

Weekly… (or monthly) recap + what we ate – just like riding a bike

It’s been a fast and furious process of getting a show up and then over.

There is a chart that I saw once about the steps of the creative process:

I’ve realized this week, that no matter how long the rehearsal process, we still go through all the stages. And yes, even as a stage manager, I feel it. Sometimes more than others. In a way, a pretty short rehearsal process, as I just went through, is perhaps even more exhausting than a longer one because these emotional stages are condensed; even as I found myself arriving in one stage, I was already moving into the next stage. So in a way having a short rehearsal process where we are working two sessions a day can be just as emotionally taxing as a longer rehearsal session with three sessions a day. The mental journey you take is still the same.

All in all, though, it’s been really great to get back. There have been so many moments when I stop and I just feel so comfortable and happy to be doing my job again. At the end of our final dress rehearsal, I was standing out onstage as Maestro gave his notes, and I gazed out into the house. Of course, in an outdoor space, gazing out into the house means (at that late hour) gazing out into the inky night sky and feeling the cool summer breeze. I was told we were lucky to be in the space on a mild summer nights. Some nights it gets upwards of 100 degrees!

A good friend of mine will every so often post as her Facebook status: “I get to go to rehearsal today!” And every day I’ve felt that. Maybe it’s because I’ve been away for a year+ , but I feel very lucky and excited to be able to be in rehearsal again.

Opera in COVID times is certainly interesting. We have a COVID Compliance coordinator in the room with us, advising us on whether or not what we are doing is within the guidelines we were given. I feel like we are being very conservative, but because of the aerosol nature of singing, I think being cautious is important. So the singers are asked to maintain 6′ of distance between each other when standing still, and 17″ when they are singing. As much as possible, props are not shared. If they are shared, or touched by multiple people – they get santized.

I try to be a pretty stoic stage manager. But at our first onstage rehearsal, as the singers came to stage, stepping out of the wings for the first time in over a year, their tears of joy left me a little verklempt. There were lights, there was an orchestra, there was rows and rows of seats stretching back back back. There was vast expanse of space to filled with music. There was the darkness of backstage and standing in the wings. There was a crew of familiar faces – such a welcome sight after over a year. There were dressing rooms (freshly renovated!), and the soft light of dressing room mirrors. And there was this easy going sense of gratitude that we got to be here again.

Other things that happened – I accidentally set off the fire alarm at work one day. It. was. mooooortifying. I was putting away some music stands and they fell off the rack, hitting the wall in just the right way so as to trigger the fire alarm. We had to clear the building and the fire department had to come to turn off the alarm. Luckily (?) we were on a rehearsal break, so we didn’t lose that much rehearsal time. But still. One of those “I can’t believe I did that” moments.

Life: We joined a pool this summer. The nine year old really wanted to join a swim team this year. I debated whether or not to join a private pool or just go to the County pools this summer. The County pools have more features and could potentially be less expensive, but they don’t all have a swim team and are a little farther away. Then I found out that one of the private pools in our area has a trial membership option, which seemed like a low stakes way to dip our foot in the world of swim team and pool membership. They also offered swim lessons, so I signed the four year old up for that as well. It’s a pretty modest pool, and shows its age a little bit, but I’m actually really excited to spend some lazy afternoons there.

I think we’ve reached the tail end of cicada season. It’s certainly been fascinating. The noise, the crunchy exoskeletons piling up, the swarms of bugs on trees, a trail up the treetop.

What We Ate – catching up version/ somewhat incomplete.

Saturday: Sausage and peppers on sub rolls

Sunday:

Monday: Memorial Day – so we went to a friend’s house and had bbq and lots of snacks. I made a pasta salad to bring.

Tuesday: Red curry rice noodles from Dinner Illustrated. Had some yellow squash to use up.

Wednesday: The Husband Cooked since it was my first day actually going into the office.

Thursday: White Bean and Fennel Stew from Milk Street Fast and Slow. Make ahead dinner to be ready for everyone when they got home from dance class.

Friday: pizza and I Spy. A cute family film about a CIA agent and the spunky kid he teams up with.

Saturday:

Sunday:

My first full week back at work was a lot of make ahead meals that I could throw together in the morning so that the family could have dinner waiting for them after swim practice:

Monday: Greek Pasta Salad – same recipe as Memorial Day.

Tuesday: Black bean tacos with mango salsa. Black Beans made in the Instant Pot from Milk Street Fast and Slow.

Wednesday: The Husband cooked. I think he made fish, but I didn’t make it home in time for dinner

Thursday: Mushroom Quiche. The Husband made a really tasty side salad. Like so tasty, I was eating the half dried out leftovers the next morning.

Friday: Pizza take out and Hoosiers.

Saturday: My father made beef noodle soup

Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday: leftovers (for me). Husband and Kids – smoked salmon on bagels.

Wednesday: leftovers (for me). Made some Tzatziki, which the Husband served with Greek chicken and pita

Thursday: Pav Bhaji from Made in India. Also watermelon. I love watermelon season.

Friday: Leftovers (for me). Not sure what the rest of the family ate. Pizza and movie night postponed because of a swim team pep rally.

Weekly recap + what we ate – “tend and befriend”

Last weekend was mother’s day.

I told the husband that I wanted four things:
1) a nice picture with all three kids.
2) to go on a hike with everyone
3) a couple hours to myself where I didn’t have to parent
4) to eat dinner without anyone sitting on my lap.

We achieved 1 and 2.

To be fair, when I pointed out to the Husband that #3 didn’t happen, he promptly made plans to allow me time the following weekend (like now! so I can write).

And #4 is honestly probably a lost cause unless I don’t eat with the family.

I don’t know if it’s because of the excessive amount of togetherness this past year as we’ve all been under pandemic lockdown, but “time alone!” seemed to be the most requested mother’s day gift I’ve seen this year among my mom friends and groups. Perhaps last year, when we were newly in staying at home, and COVID cases were rising, mothers were in a better place mentally to savour and cherish the unrelieved time with their kids. But a year later… I think many of us are just burnt out from being responsible for the care, feeding, schooling, providing, working…. from all of it. From having to be so responsible for everyone else. And this mother’s day, I think many of us caregivers just want time to themselves, to slip the bonds of responsibility.

(This is not to say men haven’t had to be responsible too… the Husband has been a very equal partner. But study after study shows that the additional burdens brought about by pandemic living has disproportionately fallen on the shoulders of women. In fact, a lot of men I know are living their best lives right now while working from home….)

On Mother’s Day proper, we went on a hike at Red Rock Wilderness Overlook. The site features some remains of historic buildings – an ice house, carriage house, etc – which I always love seeing. The hike itself at first seemed quite gentle, a grassy meandering stroll through woods that came to an overlook of the Potomac. Perhaps it is the endless Hamilton listening that we’ve been doing lately, but I couldn’t look at this river without thinking of everything it has seen – the lives, the wars, the comings and goings.

As we hiked along the river overlook, we came to a precipitous drop off, across which a tree had fallen. Always up for an adventure, and having somewhat lost the path, we scrabbled downwards until we came to the shores of the Potomac. Here there was ample opportunity to throw rocks and sticks into the river and the nine year old found a rock face to scale. I was quite impressed by how high she managed to climb.

A scramble back up the banks of the river and we found the trail blazes again and headed back to the parking lot. This was a hike that was in our “Best Hikes for Kids” book that I had gotten, which is probably one of the best things I bought all last year. The baby managed a lot of the hike, though the Husband did carry her a couple times. She is getting to be a sturdy little hiker.

The nine year old had Thursday off, so the Husband took a half day and we went to the Air and Space Museum. I had heard that the Smithsonian had been loaned an X-wing Starfighter recently and before it was sent to the Air and Space Museum downtown, it would be cleaned and checked for damage at the restoration hanger at the Air and Space Museum by the airport. So the Husband got us tickets and we spent an afternoon with all manner of aircrafts and flight history. It was our first visit to a museum in over a year and I feel really grateful that we have such easy access to so many museums here. I can’t wait until the rest of the Smithsonian museums open back up. And the National Gallery of Art too. I’ve missed seeing things in real life.

Some tidbits from this week:

A Great Podcast Episode: I was listening to this episode of On Being where Krista Tippett talks to clinical psychologist Christine Runyon about the physiological effect the isolation and stress of the pandemic has had on us. One point that really struck with me is Runyon’s idea that along with “flight”, “fight”, and “freeze,” we, particularly women, also have another survival instinct which is “Tend and Befriend.” They go on to discuss how difficult it has been during the pandemic to not be able to “befriend” or form alliances or gather as a community, because for a lot of women, that is their reaction to a crisis. There are physiological tolls to being alone. The link above is to the broadcast episode; the “tend and befriend” discussion is in the unedited episode, and it was such a fantastic conversation to hear.

The county has put the basketball hoops back up. During the pandemic, at least one hoop on every county court was removed, to prevent people from gathering to play basketball games. Not sure how effective that was. But this week I’ve noticed that all the hoops are back up. One little sign of things going back to normal.

Speaking of which – I’m thinking about the new guidelines from CDC for masking. Or rather unmasking. Namely that fully vaccinated people can resume activities without masks or social distancing. Of course the children are not vaccinated. So I think I will continue to have them mask up at playgrounds and on playdates. I will probably wear a mask when I’m with my kids as a show of solidarity, and also while indoors at stores or what not – particularly since I feel like a lot of businesses around here will keep mask mandates in place. But maybe not? Our County has been somewhat conservative with mask mandates in the past, but they seem to be in line with our state regulations right now, which is for lifting mask mandates. Indoor dining is probably still outside of my comfort zone.

The kids got new shoes! Just in time for summer. I love our shoe store.

Perfect summer snack- cucmbers with “sprinkle”, either Pico Fruta, or Sesame Seaweed Furikake.

Tadpole update – They have legs!

Frugal food wins – Sad bunch of collards, wilted and neglected –> Collard chips! Seasoned with dill, garlic powder, onion powder and nutritional yeast, giving them a nice ranch flavour.

The cicadas have started to emerge. We took an evening walk on Friday night and had to tread carefully. There has been a lot of attention given to the cicadas, I’m actually quite excited.

Four Year Old Quote of the Week: “You have to rise up, just like Hamilton.”

What We Ate:

Saturday: Grilling! Kielbasa from our favorite Polish Deli, and grilled veggies. I love how easy grilling is with the gas grill. I never thought I would convert from charcoal, but while I miss the chemical aftertaste of charcoal, the ease of the gas grill is hard to beat.

Sunday: Indian/ Nepalese food take out.

Monday: Gochujang Roasted Cabbage and Carrots with Udon Noodles and Pan Fried Tofu.

Tuesday: Pasta Salad with leftover grilled veggies from Saturday, and Mango Salad from Meera Sodha’s Made in India.

Wednesday: Salmon Curry Coconut Rice from Milk Street’s Cook-ish, and pan seared Brussel Sprouts.

Thursday: Take out from a vegetarian Chinese food place near the Air and Space Museum.

Friday: Pizza take out and bagged Caesar Salad and The Booksellers, a documentary about antiquarian booksellers. A nostalgic, wistful account of our love of printed material. Oh the beautiful shelves of books in this film!

Haikus for April

Daffodil carpet
spread out under bare limbed trees
Welcome mat for spring.

Wafting on spring winds
blossoms drfiting, blown off trees
like an April snow.

Wet days, then sunshine
Rain coats. Seventies. Short sleeves.
Shifty spring weather.

She picks ev’ry stick
grasped in her baby fingers
so diligently

Biting April winds
awakens my winter coat
from hibernation.

She stands hesitant
Atop the mountain slide. Watis.
Then zips down with glee.

Buffeting spring winds.
Bracing. Cuts through the sunshine.
Blows off lethargy.

Spring brings morning sun
slanting through kitchen windows
stabs me in the eye.

Pandemic reset.
I’m relaxing commitments
to expectations

Weekly recap + what we ate – May al fresco

One of many many many walks we took this week.

And now we are into May!

We ate outside a couple times this week. Right now is the sweet spot, I think, for dining al fresco in our area. It is warm enough to comfortably eat outside, with just a light sweater thrown on as the sun goes down and temperature cools. At the same time, we haven’t yet entered into mosquito season. Mosquitos are fierce here. I used to go to Colorado for the summer and be blessedly free of mosquitos. Last year, I think I got a little zen about them and embraced the biting and itching. This year, we got at Thermacell – a device that essentially creates a bubble of bug repellant around a certain area. We haven’t tried it out yet, but it gets really great reviews across a variety of publications. I’m excited to try this out and looking forward to being able to sit on our back patio without being eaten alive.

This was a great week to get outside. It did rain one day, but we took a rainy walk anyway, and were rewarded with a geese sighting:

I got my second COVID vaccine shot. It was such a smooth soothing process. I wanted to stay in that white tent waiting room forever. If I ever make myself a she shed, I think it will be white and light filled, like the COVID waiting tent.

Aside from some minor aches, I luckily felt pretty normal the next day. I stayed up too late the night after I got the vaccine, so I still felt kind of not great, but that was entirely my fault, not the vaccine. All in all, it feels great to have two shots down on my vaccine card. I’m still trying to feel out what my comfort levels are with COVID precautions. We were never the stay at home and have groceries delivered people, but we’ve definitely been very diligent about mask wearing and not socializing indoors or eating at restaurants.

I did go to a Mom’s night on Friday. My friend Lizzie had invited me to a child-free hang out with some of her friends where we ate Mexican food and had uncensored conversations. I haven’t been in someone else’s house for over a year – except for going over to walk a friend’s dog one time. It felt so novel. I guess meeting new people is always novel, but after a year of lockdown, it was especially so. And oh so wonderful to connect.

I thought this article in the Atlantic was interesting (The Liberals who Can’t Quit Lockdown.) I read/ hear so much about how the demographics of anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers skew conservative, male, right wing, etc, and I thought this article was particularly thoughtful in how it pointed out that there are extremists on all sides of the spectrum. It seems to me that those who don’t trust vaccines are probably not far removed from those who sanitized their groceries during the early days of the pandemic when there seemed to be no good information out there. I myself am finding emerging from lockdown somewhat daunting, but then again, I’m somewhat of an introvert. I hope it’s not because of some reaction to Trumpian policies. I’m pretty sure it isn’t. But I do think that the politicization of public health issues is in many ways the result of our our unfortunately binary political system.

Some things this week:

Wanting to speak up. On one of our park trips this week, the four year old made quick friends with another child, a five year old. Before I knew it, they had taken their bikes and had gone off down the paved loop around the park. I wasn’t too concerned as I could still see them, and the kid seemed like a really friendly, decent child. “He wanted to show me his hide out tree!” The four year old told me when they came back. I told the little boy’s mother, “Your son is a really great kid.” She seemed really pleased to hear me say that, and I’m glad I told her. And as the morning progressed, I realized something. Part of the reason this kid was so open and friendly was that he had a really great mom. You could just tell by the way she let her kids have a great deal of independence on the playground, and from the way she talked to them when she needed to – in this really calm, casual and non-judgemental tone. And I wish I had told her that. For some reason, I thought it would have been weird to say something. But afterwards, I thought… it shouldn’t be. We shouldn’t be afraid to compliment good parenting when we see it. (I mean good anything, really). Raising kids is so fraught and filled with self doubt (or is it just me?), that we should be supportive, even of strangers.
So… to Ryan’s mom at North Four Corners Park – on the infinitesimal chance that you read this blog: I love the way you talk to your children.

Looking forward to popsicle season. The nine year old made smoothies for breakfast the other day and there was leftovers, so I pulled out the popsicle molds and made the first popsicles of the year! I love making homemade popsicles. There is something so economical and simple about homemade popsicles, though I do admit that the store bought always taste better. Except the chocolate ones. This recipe for homemade fudgsicles is really really decadent.

Popsicles and the astronaut. He wore that space suit almost every day this week.

Speaking of the nine year old in the kitchen, the kids are really into making fresh lemonade. It does take a lot of lemons to make lemonade, so I don’t do it as often as I would like. Maybe I need to be more efficient about juicing? This little plastic juicer was an H-Mart impulse purchase years ago and serves us well, but is perhaps not terribly efficient.

When your child matches the playground equipment (again):

Other wildlife sightings:

Google tells me these are called pileated woodpeckers. We came across them in two different parks. They were quite bold and settled in quite near us.

Pandemic cookbook MVPs (except the Vegetarian Back Packing book – not sure what that is doing in there.) All borrowed from the library and need to be returned. The “Overdue, but fines waived” notices that I’m getting are guilt inducing, but not very motivating. America’s Test Kitchen Vegan for Everyone was also a great resource. I think I may end up buying some of these to have for my own.

On Time Standing Still:

The other day, we were wandering around the park while the nine year old was in dance lessons and I noticed that the posters from the children’s theatre were still up from last year. It was as if time had been frozen, stuck in March 2020. The park was originally developed in the early 1900s as an amusement park, somewhere for the residents of DC to escape to. Many of the buildings are left over from this time, and their original art deco quality has been maintained. Being there these days has a rather timeless quality. Seeing last season’s posters up, I was struck by this weird sensation of different time periods overlapping, and unmoving. I wonder if this was what it was like to stumble upon Roanoke.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Pasta Salad – tomatoes, green beans, cucumbers,

Sunday: Dinner at friend’s house. They grilled. We brought vegetable skewers (zucchini, mushrooms, peppers).

Monday: Tandoori Broccoli and Honey Braised Tofu from East. This was really good. The Broccoli is smothered in yogurt and spices and then roasted at 425. The Tofu is cooked in a sauce made from gochujang, soy sauce, honey, sesame oil, garlic and ginger. And we ate it outside, which always makes things taste better, in my mind.

Tuesday: Black Bean Soup from Milk Street Fast and Slow. Tasty, simple and filling.

Wednesday: Grilled Pork Tenderloin and grilled veggies and sweet potatoes. I always forget how simple and good grilled sweet potatoes is.

Thursday: Tomato Zucchini Tart from Milk Street Cook-ish, with bagged salad. Also very easy recipe – basically toss veggies in olive oil, vinegar and za’atar, pile it in a layer on puff pastry and bake until golden. I love recipes like this where the ratio of effort to taste is pretty low.

Friday: Girls night out – Mexican food. Meaning lots of chips and guacamole and salsa.