gratitude – Page 2 – Life Off Headset

Weekly recap + what we ate: Hallowe’en, Good-bye, October/Hello, November

And like that we are in November! The first week or so of November have been a blur as we got ready to move into the theatre. And I blink and look up and we’re almost half way through November by now! I’m trying not to think about it because I’m feeling very behind in life.

October Highlights:
-family hiking and contra-dancing in Shepherdstown WV.
-biking to work and biking with the 8 year old.
-family trip to the opera.
-It’s prime apple season. Going to farmers markets and getting apples. My favorite right now are Crimson Crisp and Arkansas Black. I like apples that are crunchy and the right blend of tart and sweet.
-Soup party at work.
-finished union negotiations finally.
– Starting rehearsal for my favorite opera.
-Some slow evenings at home with the kids – playing board games, reading, doing art.
-Lenten Women’s group meeting. We discussed a few verses in Esther about uncertainty and what to worry about and what God tells us not to worry about. (And is he telling us that it’s not worth the worry or is he telling us to trust him that all will be well?)
-tap dance classes with the 6 year old.
-Hallwe’en. Details on that below.

October Lowlights:
-The government shut down. UGH ugh ugh ugh. I know it’s now over, but the whole thing just dragged on and on and on. On the one hand I was happy that my friends had time to get together for random weekday lunches, on the other hand, it was such a time of uncertainty, not knowing what our elected officials were doing and when things were going to end. Incidentally, I don’t know if this is related, but I’ve been seeing a lot of For Sale signs on houses in my area lately. Late fall isn’t typically the prime time in our area for home sales, so I find it alarming that so many people are putting their houses on the market right now. I don’t know if that’s a sign of the current federal upheaval or what, but I can’t help but wonder.

-General uncertainty at work and some beloved colleagues leaving. I can’t write about it, but ugh ugh ugh.

-Getting back into the rhythm of working every day full time and in the evenings was hard. I think it’s always hard, though. I need to brainstorm ways to make it easier. Or just embrace the suck?

October Insights:
-“Don’t quit today.” One of my favorite October read/listens was Stephen Starring Grant’s Mailman: My Wild Ride Delivering the Mail in Appalachia and Finally Finding Home. There is one section where he finds himself on a really hard route and he’s messed up and doesn’t think he can finish and he calls a colleague and says he’s not cut out for the job and is going to quit. And his colleague says to him – and I’m paraphrasing badly – , “Don’t quit today. Finish your route, but don’t quit today.” That really stuck with me, the idea that when things are hard, just focus on what is in front of you. You can always quit tomorrow.

-People not things. I had written last month some reflections on where I am in my career, pondering if it’s okay that I’m not right now jumping for the chance to work on big complicated new productions. There were some really wise comments on that post. I think what I realized after writing that post and reading the comments is that for me, my job is about giving people the space and information they need to tell stories on stage. Shepherding a huge, technically complicated project through rehearsals to opening – that sounds really cool and I know if I did that, I would be so proud and exhausted. But you know, what I get the most satisfaction out of on the daily basis? It’s making sure the singers feel taken care of; keeping the director moving forward in their process; making sure my team is working together and communicating well. And these things I can do regardless of how technically complicated a show is. So every time I get sad that I’m not working on a fancy new production, I need to remind myself that I’m here for the people and the stories, not the machinery.

Hallowe’en recap:

The two nights before Hallowe’en:

All done just in the nick of time:

Costume details/ summary: I love making Hallowe’en costumes. My kids would probably be fine with store bought costumes, but they indulge my hankering to be creative. The two younger kids have wanted to be KPop Demon Hunter characters since they first saw the movie. I did briefly look for costumes online, but found it hard to find licensed Demon Hunter costumes, so it’s just as well that I was okay with making them. I wanted to write down the costume details because I think I made some fun discoveries as I made these costumes.

Flower fairy (13 year old): I didn’t actually make this costume, but I did help with the hot glue gun. Also I only had one stick of glue, so it was kind of a baited breath process, hoping that we had enough glue to attach everything that the 13 year old wanted. This costume featured a dress that the 13 year old already owned, a ridiculously expensive amount of fake flowers (dude, fake flowers are not cheap!), hot glue, gold ribbon, wings from last year, and the 6 year old’s flower crown from the Ren Faire.

Jinu (8 year old)– Thrifted ladies’ black button up shirt, with the arms trimmed to the right length. I crocheted the belt from yarn I had sitting around. The hat is ordered from Amazon. I thought for a minute of making the hat out of poster board, but I figured this would last longer and be less frustrating. Side note, while trying to figure out how to buy a gat hat- which was surprisingly difficult for something I eventually ordered of Amazon – I went down this deep youTube hole about how a genuine gat hat is made, and it is FASCINATING. The hat is hand woven from bamboo threads. If you are into in depth craft videos, check it out.

Zooey (6 year old)– this one took the most work of the three costumes. The shirt, skirt and sparkly shoes are thrifted. I went to four different thrift stores to find it all, but each thing was perfect for what I needed, so it all felt so satisfying. The glitter hightops actually light up, and the 6 year old LOVES them. I had to tell her she couldn’t wear them until Hallowe’en because I was afraid the batteries would run out. The skirt is a tennis skirt with built in shorts, so I’m sure we’ll get more use out of that too. Once I had all the base pieces, the 6 year old and I went to Michael’s and pick up almost every gold thing we could find so I could play with options for the embellishments.

The shoulder pieces were made from felt. I sized the felt with regular white glue to shape them. To do that, I cut the felt into the right shape. Then I covered both sides with diluted white glue and I sandwiched each piece of felt between wax paper. Next I molded the felt/wax paper sandwich over mason jars, using elastic bands to hold the pieces in place until the glue dried leaving the felt in its curved shape. After the glue dried, I sewed the shoulder pieces onto the white shirt.

The gold turned out to be a bit of an ordeal. I had ordered gold duct tape, but when I got it out to start using it, something was off and the duct tape was not sticky. In fact, it felt really oily. I had a moment of panic because I was going to use the duck tape for all the embellishments so that I would not have to sew anything. I ended up gluing the duct tape to the shoulder pieces and then looking for another solution for everything else. I had bought some heat transfer vinyl, the kind you’d use in a Cricut machine. It turns out, the stuff is just as easy to use without a Cricut machine – I just cut what I needed with scissors and then ironed it on to the shirt.
Friends – I have never used this stuff before, and it was like ANGELS SANG when I first applied it. It is SO easy to use and it looks amazing. And it’s better than duct tape because it will stretch with the clothes. Next time I have a project that involves putting designs on clothes, I’m going to use this stuff again. It was a game changer for me.

The rest of the embellishments: the tassels and the chain on the skirt were made from gold metallic braided trim. The gold studs on the shoulder pieces are gold stickers.

Striped tights – of the 6 year old’s choosing, something she already owned.

And luckily Zooey is the one Huntrx member without outrageous coloured hair, so I just put the 6 year old’s hair into Zooey buns to complete the look.

Hallowe’en Night – Our own neighborhood is very quiet on Hallowe’en, so we usually just put out a bowl of candy and go over to our friend’s neighborhood to trick or treat. Their neighborhood has an annual neighborhood decorating contest, so the houses are always so fun to see. This was one of my favorite houses – every year they have some kind of statement tombstones:

In case you can’t read them, the tombstone read, from left to right:
“Here lies America’s Reputation Abroad. Can’t get any lower than this!”
“Here lies the Federal Workforce. Death by 200, 000 cuts.”
“Here lies Co-Equal Government. It was a nice idea.”
“Here lies Freedom of Speech. Last Words: …..”

It seems like a very DC type display…

We ended up trick or treating from about 6:30p – 8:30pm. I loved seeing all the kids out in their costumes. Funny story, when we pulled out the Hallowe’en buckets, the 13 year old took the one that the 6 year old usually uses and wouldn’t give it back.
“Fine,” I said to the 13 year old. “you can keep the little tiny bucket. Your sister will trick or treat with a pillow case.”
Of course being reminded that she usually uses a pillow case, which could hold much more candy than the little monster bucket, immediately led the 13 year old to give the bucket back to her sister. Of course by then the 6 year old had figured out that, yeah really the pillowcase is the better option. So she went trick or treating for the first time with a pillowcase. Later hat evening, she discovered one of the perks of having a pillowcase to collect candy in was being able to stick one’s whole torso into the pillow case and inhale the candy. Literally, figuratively…

“It smells so good in there!” she said.

When we got tired of trick or treating, we went back to our friend’s house where the Husband had brought pizza for dinner. We then sat in the front yard around a fire pit and drank mulled cider (some folks added an extra something special in their cider). The kids stayed inside sorting and swapping candy. Our friends have tween/teens as well, but they always make sure the 8 and 6 year old are included when they hang out, which is nice. I might have fallen asleep in my camp chair as everyone talked around me. It was such a cozy way to end the evening. We’ve decided with our friends that we need more evenings around the firepit with mulled (spiked) cider.

Grateful For:
-The later bell time. In our school system there are two bell times – half the elementary schools start at 9am and the other half start at 9:25am. We are the later bell time, which is good because we need all the time we can get to get out of the house in the mornings.

-warm fall weather. And the morning light, though it does get darker earlier.

-Not having to work on Hallowe’en. I happened to have the day off work, and the elementary school was having it’s fundraiser run that morning so I was able to go cheer my kids on. I ran into a friend whose kids are in the same class as mine and we ended up having lunch between the kindergarten run and the 3rd grade run. Then I went home and had still had time to prepare for Hallowe’en. It was nice not to have to rush directly from work to trick or treating and to also show up for a school event.

-Also grateful that Hallowe’en was on a Friday night so that we didn’t have to get anyone to school the next morning. That was pretty awesome.

-Return policies. I spent a lot of money at Michaels last month – see Hallowe’en costumes. Thankfully they have a 60 day return policy, so I was able to return all the gold trim and embellishments that I didn’t end up using. So grateful that I could get that money back.

-That the 6 year old finally figured out how to ride her bike! I’m grateful for her siblings for giving her lots of advice, especially the 13 year old, whom I think did most of the coaching.

Looking forward to (the November edition):
-Visit from my parents.
-Opening my current show. Tech week has been going very smoothly, but the hours have been long.
-Then closing the show and moving on tot he next show. I’m excited because originally the 13 year old didn’t get a spot in the children’s chorus, but two days before rehearsal started, they had someone drop out and the spot was offered to the 13 year old. She was SO excited. She’s loved this show since she was really little and always wanted to be in the children’s chorus. It will be exhausting, but I’m looking forward to working on a show with her again.
-The staging staff coming in for this next show, all of whom are people I’ve worked with before and I’m really excited to work with them again.
-Thanksgiving. No idea what we are doing for Thanksgiving yet. Should think on that.

What We Ate – two weeks worth of meals here, because I’ve gotten behind in posting. The Husband was responsible for 95% of the dinners the past two weeks while I’ve been rehearsing late.

Monday: Cauliflower shawarma, Melissa Clark recipe from NY Times Cooking. I added red peppers and chick peas to this. I actually prepped the veggies snd tahini sauce in the morning before I went to work and the Husband put it in the oven when he got home. Apparently the kids had fun with this one:

Tuesday: Dinner out. The Husband and kids went to meet a friend for dinner. I had leftovers at work.

Wednesday: Chicken stir fry.

Thursday: Ramen with shrimp. I was working, so I’m not sure if the Husband or the 13 year old made dinner this night.

Friday: Hallowe’en – candy, pizza, brie, crackers. Maybe some fruit was eaten in there.

Saturday: leftover pizza and movie. I think they watched Lego Movie 2. I was at work.

Sunday: Sausage pasta for the family. I ate lefotvers out of the fridge when I came home

Monday: Lemony turkey white bean soup with greens. Pulled from the freezer. Note to self: this recipe freezes very well.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday. I think the family had beef tacos. Not quite sure.

Wednesday: Udon noodles and stir fried chicken.

Thursday: Coconut curry chickpeas with pumpkin and lime Melissa Clark’s recipe from NY Times Cooking. This was really tasty. And good for many dinners after. I made this in the morning before going to work so that the family could have something fast to eat for dinner since they were going to see the 13 year old in the school play that night.

Friday: I think the family had pizza and watched the Lego Flash movie.

Saturday: This was tech week, I was at the theatre all day – no idea what the family ate for dinner.

Sunday: One of the ladies from the Mom’s group I joined when the 6 year old was born hosted a get together. It was such a fun reunion to see how our kids and families have grown in the past six years. It was a potluck affair. We brought soft pretzels and fruit salad. Afterwards we went over to firepit with our Hallowe’en friends and had chili around the firepit. It was a very social day for my one day off. Usually if I have a free day during tech week, I want to just hide and sleep, and my inner introvert was screaming a little to have to be so social, but I did really love seeing everyone. Plus life does not stop life-ing just because one has been at the theatre all week.

Well that’s life lately here. This weekend I’ll work all weekend – we have a show Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so it will be a lot of time at the theatre for me. The family will come to the opening night performance. The opera is almost 3.5 hour long, so I’d put money on the 6 year old falling asleep before the end of the show. (Note to self: remember to tell her the story before she goes since she can’t read the supertitles.) Otherwise, the weather looks to be beautiful, so hopefully I’ll remember to get out for a walk or two to enjoy the sunshine.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend! How was your Hallowe’en? Is a pillowcase an appropriate candy catcher where you are? How was your October? Looking forward to anything in November?

(bi)Weekly recap + what we ate: What I wore one week in fall

I am feeling a little underwater right now. We’ve been rehearsing 11am – 6:30ppm, which in theory gives us the evening off, but I don’t get home until 8pm and the evening’s kind of over by then because my brain is fried. Plus I had some titles to do for an upcoming recital. And Hallowe’en. And the mornings…. I haven’t figured out my mornings. Conceivably the only thing new in the morning now that I’m back in rehearsal is that I have to pack my own lunch in addition to the kids’, which shouldn’t take that long, but somehow, any empty space in my morning pre -going back to rehearsals seems to be gone. I’ve been thinking about what of my own buckets I want to be filled in the morning, and how. This is what I came up with:

Body – yoga
home – make my bed
brain – read 15 minutes
soul – journal
family – check in with Husband before he leaves for work.

But then also, the MUST DOs in the morning:
-make lunch (two kids and myself)
-Get the kids’ breakfast. Often the Husband does this before he leaves for work. Really, the kids should be at the stage where they get their own breakfast.
-Supervise practicing piano for the 8 year old and worksheets for the 6 year old. (that makes me sound very Tiger Mom, but the 6 year old does worksheets so that she stays out of the 8 year old’s hair while he practices piano.)
-Supervise morning chores (unloading dishwasher, sweeping)
-Get myself dressed. (Sometimes shower, but very rarely. Meaning I try to shower at night. But even then I don’t shower every day.)
-Prep dinner (if needed) and pick up kitchen and make sure counters is clear.
-get the kids out of the house on time.

I feel like if some of any of the above doesn’t get done, we get by, but the effects of neglecting those things are cumulative and really pile up, making stress for future us and future me.

Which is all to say, getting my feet under myself the past few weeks has felt like a lot. In my journals, the second half of October has been blank. I can always tell when I’m in a busy season when I look back through my journals and there are a string of blank pages. And actually, funny enough, when looking at my five year journal, October/November seems to be the months every year with the most blank pages. Which I guess is itself telling.

Anyhow, before I got really swamped, I decided I would do a “What I wore” post because it take a little bit of daily effort to put together and I thought I’d be able to dash it off. Plus, it’s fall and fall is my favorite season for dressing – all cozy layers and deep colours. So here is a week in October:

Monday:

This was the first day of rehearsal. I have a jacket I used to wear to every first day of rehearsal, but when I put it on this time, it was a little tight around the shoulders, which makes me sad. So I wore this instead. Red Wool& dress. Striped sweater from a Teat & Cosset, a maternity brand that no longer is around. Yes, that’s a nursing sweater. But I still wear it because it is a comfy cotton/wool blend that keeps me from overheating and it’s neutral but not plain. The denim jacket is from Uniqlo – one of my clothing purchases this year. I always swore I’d never wear a denim jacket, but this one has a bit of stretch and a boxy, but not too boxy, silhouette, and is so practical and versatile that I’m growing to love it. Black jockey leggings (cotton with pockets!). Blue boots from Reiker. I actually liked this outfit so much that I work it for family photos later that week.

Tuesday:

I’m sure I wear this dress at least once every time I do a week of outfits. It’s a linen shirt dress that I wear throughout the year, regardless of season. It’s easy to dress it more warmly or less. Orange pocket leggings from Toad and Co. Grey wool sneakers from Geisswein. I used to have All Birds, but then they stopped having fun colours, so I found this other brand online. I actually find them more comfortable than All Birds.

Wednesday:

There’s the denim jacket again. I did probably wear that jacket every day this week. Butterfly sweater bought from Nordstrom Rack several years ago, before I stopped buying white clothes because of kids and messes. (I’m slowly introducing white back into my wardrobe.) Sweater is worn over blue Wool& dress. Purple scarf was a gift from a friend – it has the first page of Jane Eyre printed on it. Red Geisswein wool sneakers. I had ordered several pairs of Geisswein sneakers because I couldn’t tell from online which pair I would like best. I liked both.

Thursday:

My Day Off, hence the hastily snapped picture while I was at H&M. Snoopy sweatshirt and green joggers are all from Uniqlo. I bought the joggers for our trip to South Africa and these have proven very cozy and thick. I’ve worn this outfit on almost every day off this fall. Same shoes as yesterday.

Friday:

I had a different outfit planned this day, but then I didn’t do my yoga in the morning, so I decided to wear my very stretchy Duluth Trading Company NoGa pants in case I had time to do some light yoga at work. (I didn’t). I like the NoGa pants because they are basically yoga pants that I pretend are okay to wear at work. The purple sweater is from Uniqlo. The shoes are a repeat from yesterday. The hat was a gift from my bachelorette party sixteen years ago. The scarf is the same as Wednesday.
Later that day, I did change because we went to the opera. I have one nice dress, which I wore with a black blazer. I don’t really have pictures of that night, but I’ve probably worn it here before.

Saturday:

I’m pretty sure I wore this in last year’s “What I Wore” post. Sweatshirt dress, bought when I was pregnant – it has thumbholes! The sweater is a hand me down from my cousin. I was wearing my sneakers because I was coming from doing the13 year old’s voice lesson run and had gone on a walk while waiting for voice lessons. I had brought ankle boots to change into at work, but then I went directly from voice lesson to work and was slightly late to rehearsal so I didn’t change. The leggings are from Duluth Trading Company. They also have pockets. Everything I’m wearing has pockets. Except my underwear.

Sunday;

If I have to be at work on Sunday, I’m going to be comfy and casual. Fox overall and striped henley from Duluth, The same blue boots I wore on Monday.

Bonus Monday:

I took so long to write this post that I am back to Monday, so I thought I’d throw in this outfit too. Wide legged pants from Uniqlo. I feel like they are a little frumpy on me, but they are comfy and cool in the summer. (They’re actually summer weight pants). The shirt I’ve had for maybe 15 years, I think I got it at Nordstrom Rack or some such. I never want to wear it because it is a little short, but the new trend for high waisted pants has brought this shirt out of hiding. The orange sweater I love for the pop of colour. I think it’s another Nordstrom Rack purchase too. Or maybe Marshalls? I remember when I first saw it in the store, I put it back, thinking, “Oh, this is too orange.” But then I went back for it because I loved the colour so much.

So that’s my sartorial week one October week in 2025! I feel like I wear the same clothes over and over, but looking at this, I do see that I’ve made a few new purchases this year.

Grateful For:

-singers who close doors. So there are doors in our show. Three of them at one point. Something that is becoming really clear to me is that one thing seasoned singers do that younger/newer singers don’t, is they close doors behind them when they make an entrance. You cue them onstage, they open the door, walk through the door, and then close the door. A lot of younger singers don’t close doors behind them, just leave it gaping open because they are focused on the music they are about to sing. I think it’s just something that happens as singers mature and being onstage becomes more natural – they do things that are natural in every day life. When you or I walk through a door, typically we close it behind us. Another thing in this world is picking up things that fall onstage. In real life, if I drop a pencil, I will pick it up while going on with my life. Some singers don’t do that. Things will accidentally fall onstage and they just leave it there. And the audience is stuck wondering if someone is going trip over the thing. And afterwards, they will say, “I didn’t know if I should have picked i up.” Seasoned singers will just casually pick the thing up and move on with life. Anyhow, all that to say I really appreciate the singers who have been onstage enough years to close doors and pick up fallen objects without being told.

-Past me for freezing soup for an easy dinner for everyone when I’m not home and the kids and Husband have a million things to do. (I think I’ve been grateful for this a lot in the past, but Past Me is really clutch in this area.)

-five minute curtain holds. Here’s a secret at the opera: we always start the show 5 minutes after posted curtain time. So if the show says it starts at 7:30pm, we always start at 7:35pm. This was a very good thing because on the Friday before, we took the family to the opera. But the 8 year old had soccer practice until 6pm and the show was at 7:30pm. I had to work until 5:30 or so. The whole evening was precisely timed to get us where we needed to be -the 13 year old and I was supposed to meet the Husband at a Metro stop after I got off work – He would pick up dinner after soccer and pick us up at a nearby stop so that we could drive down in one car. But then as the 13 year old and I were walking to the metro, the Husband called and asked, “Can [the eight year old] wear his cleats to the opera?” OMG. The kid had forgotten to bring shoes. So the Husband picked up dinner, came home, picked us up, picked up shoes for the 8 year old and we got down to the theatre at 7:15pm, and ate our sandwiches in the lobby of the theatre in our fancy clothes. It was real classy. But that’s kind of how it goes when you squeeze in a trip to the opera after soccer practice. This is one of those times where we wonder, “Are we doing too much? or do we just suck at logistics?”
Which is all to say, thank goodness the show really started at 7:35pm and we had time to wolf down our sandwiches.

Looking forward to:

-Planners! My planners for 2026 arrived. I did order them off Amazon, which I feel a little guilty about. I usually order my planners from Jet Pens, but they were out of stock, so I waited a week to see if they would re-stock and then ordered from an Amazon retailer. But then… a week after I ordered them, Jet Pens had the planners back in stock. Bummer. Although I know if I had ordered them from Jet Pens I would have thrown another $100 worth of pens and stationary supplies in my cart too, so perhaps this is the more economical option. Anyhow – I love the delicious anticipation of empty planner just waiting to be filled.

-Getting our family photos back. We did end up going to the nearby downtown area and having our pictures taken against murals and plazas, and we even went into the Metro and had some pictures taken there too. I’m kind of excited to see how they turned out.

-light in the morning now that we’ve turned our clocks back.

-Tech week! It’s tech week! Yay moving into the theatre. I’m excited, but also already tired. It kind of sucks to have tech week the week after daylight savings ends. Last night we got done rehearsal at 10:30 and I couldn’t figure out why I was so tired, then I remembered that my body thought it was 11:30pm.

What We Ate – this is a really vague list because I wasn’t home most evenings for dinner. Shout out to the Husband. Also – this is kind of the typical weekly dinner rotation for those “How are we going to make dinner when we are down one parent at home” weeks. Which is all to say, sometimes we have complicated dinners loaded with lots of vegetables, and sometimes we feed the kids food that is tasty and low effort and it’s all fine.

Monday: Thai meatball soup, from the freezer.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday. I think they had beef tacos.

Wednesday: Mac and cheese and hot dots. The 13 year old made dinner.

Thursday: Breakfast sandwiches.

Friday: We got takeout sandwiches from a diner before the opera.

Saturday: Pizza and movie night – I think the family watched Spiderman 2, the second Toby Maguire version of Spiderman.

Okay, that’s the report from the week. I’ll give the Hallowe’en report next time – it was a good time. Happy November! I’m not participating in NaBloPoMo this year – October is just not when I have the bandwidth (see above about empty journal pages.) But I’m excited to read what other people are up to when I can.

Weekly recap + what we ate: The start of a new opera season and reflections on the last one

Where did the week go? I actually started drafting this post on Monday this past week, but I’m finding it hard to find time to write right now; I don’t think I’m adjusting well schedule-wise to being back at work. But anyhow here’s what’s going on around here – last week I started prepping for a new show. It’s actually a revival of a production we did nine years ago. Funny story, last time I did this show, I was five or six months pregnant with our second kid. I wasn’t telling anyone, just wearing lots of loose clothing. There was one singer, a dear dear mezzo I’ve worked with many times who had no boundaries in the best way (okay, that sounds terrible, but I actually adore her.). One night she was sitting backstage and she says to me, “Diane… is there anything you want to share with me…?”

I stammered and blushed and said something to the negative.

Months later, after the baby was born, I ran into her husband, who had also been working on that show with us, and he congratulated me on the baby. “Thank you, “ I said, “You can tell your wife she was right.”

He said, “Yes, she’s like that. I like to wait until the baby is out to mention it.”

Anyhow. Sometimes the only way I remember how long ago things happen is in relation to my kids’ births.

All that to say, I’m hoping this show is a pretty straightforward process. The singers are new (except for the mezzo I mentioned above- she’s back and as delightful and kind as ever.) but the sets, costumes, director…. They are all the same. So pretty much plug in new singers and repeat. I even took the sticky tabs I used to mark the scenes out of my score from 2016 and put them in my 2025 score:

Old score in the back. New one in front. Tabs are still sticky! What magic is in that Post It glue that it all still works nine years later???

As I was going through things in my office, though, I found the score for the opera I did last fall, and oh boy, I had to take a moment, because thinking on last fall unleashed so many thoughts and feelings. That show was one of the hardest rehearsal processes I’d ever been through in recent memories. There was a lot to figure out on that show and I never felt like I had time to do anything and I felt as if I was constantly behind and disappointing my colleagues. I accrued so much overtime on that show. Also my son was in the show and that made things really stressful for the family. When I think of last fall in my mind it is just endless weeks of get kids to school/ work/ work/ work/ drive home/sleep for a couple hours and then get up and do it again. I learned a lot last fall about what I (and our family unit) has the capacity for.

Looking at my score from last year, with all those Post Its and sticky notes… it made me realize that I’m really proud to have gotten that show open and that it was a very good show. I took a picture of my score to remind myself what a huge accomplishment that show was for me because when I think back on last fall and that show, I just remember how tired and overwhelmed I was the whole time. I do also need to remember how cool the show looked, how much, despite everything, I truly enjoyed working with the director, the designers, the singers, the crew, and my own staging team. I think it is important for me to remember the magic we made onstage, and not just how hard the show was. Each of those Post Its represent something that I worked with other people to make happen, and that was really cool.

That said, I never want to be as exhausted as I was last fall ever again. I’m too old for that. I do love my job, but it can be intense. I think fighting that exhaustion is a combination of steps I take for my personal self (making good choices in food, sleep, family, and connections) but also the career choices I make. Perhaps it means taking projects that I know will be less grueling, when I have a choice. And maybe stepping back like that will stagnate my career, but I think I’m here for the long game, so a little pause in moving up the ladder is fine as long as I’m not sliding back down. Where I am right now in life, if I spend the rest of my life doing revivals of small shows where I can just take the score out from last time and push play… well, is that so bad? This season, I’m doing two revivals and one new production, and to be honest, even though new productions are high profile resume builders, the new production is the show I’m least looking forward to. Look, if you’re reading this and you’re someone that hires stage managers, you’re probably thinking, “Well, I’m never going to hire Diane; she just wants easy work.” But you know what? I think there’s a difference between knowing your limits so you don’t burn out and looking to coast. Or maybe there isn’t. Coasting might be how you prevent your car from overheating. You know, like putting the car into neutral once in a while. (That may be a completely wrong metaphor… I’m not a mechanic.)

All to say, I’ve been feeling a little conflicted as I’m putting last season to bed – my desire to work on challenging projects battles with my desire to sleep and be home to make breakfast on occasion.

Soup Party Recap: Last week we had our annual soup party at work, and it was a huge success. We had five types of soup, home made sourdough bread, focaccia, cookies, chips and dip. There was so much food. The soups were: Zuppa Toscana (made by my work BFF – I love this soup), green chili chili, baked potato soup, lemony white bean soup, egg drop soup, and I brought vegan chickpea gnocchi soup.
The egg drop soup was made by one of our interns and when I asked her for the recipe – because it was delicious, even better than restaurant egg drop soup – she said, “I low key stole it from TikTok.” Which seems about right.
Things that I think made the party successful this year:
-inviting more people (I also invited people from the costume shop and a few of them came – it was nice to have a mixing of departments)
-bringing my extra crock pot so not all the soup had to be re-heated in the microwave.
-Note cards so we could label each soup.
-Specifically asking for people to bring ladles if they had them. A lot of the stage managers are from out of town and are at the mercy of their rental kitchen for utensils, so I made a point to tell people to bring ladles if they had them.
Note for next time: Ask someone to bring butter. Also maybe someone could bring a drink or two. I know soup is a liquid, but we still get thirsty eating it.
I wish I had taken pictures of all the soups lined up, but I forgot. You’ll have to take my word that seeing all the soups lined up in the break room was pretty warm and cozy.
I was so delighted with our work soup party that I now want to have a non-work soup party. This is something I say I want to do every year, and I never do. I have a pretty light January and February work-wise in 2026, so it would be a good year to do it. The one thing, though, is I don’t have a microwave, so people would have to bring soup in crock pots or something that can keep them warm. But how many crock pots can I plug in at our house?

Grateful For:
-Finding my office key and IDs. Not once, but twice. On Tuesday I went to the office and reached into my purse for my keys and the pocket where I keep them was empty. Cue panic. I need my ID to swipe into the building and my keys to get into my office. I couldn’t remember what I had done with them last night because I had left in a hurry at the end of the day. I got the spare office key, went to my desk, and OH THANK GOODNESS!!! my keys and ID were sitting on my desk. Such relief. When I left work that day, I mindfully clipped it to my purse. (It’s on one of those retractable badge holders.)
On WEDNESDAY, I went to the office and reached into my purse for my keys and the pocket where I keep them was empty. Cue panic. And also, Oh FFS, not again! Once again, I got the spare key, let myself into the office, but this time, my keys were NOT ON MY DESK, which I kind of figured because after the debacle on Tuesday, I made sure to be more mindful about putting them in my purse. I always put them in the same pocket. I tried not to panic for the rest of the day, but I did a little bit. That evening, I went to the 13 year old’s school to look for them, thinking they might have fallen out of my purse when I dropped her off at school. Nope. I was beginning to despair and I thought, “I’m going to search the car one more time.” I even got in the back seat and reached under all the front seats. First the driver side. Then the passenger side. And … there, under the passenger side, were my keys and ID. They could very well have fallen out when someone tossed my purse in the back seat of the car when they got in the front seat this morning….
Anyhow, all found. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to go get a new ID because that requires going down town and is really inconvenient.

-the Metro employee who told me exactly how to tap my phone. I’ve been tapping my phone in lieu of using my metro card when riding the metro lately, but I almost every time it takes me three or four taps to work. The other day, the Metro employee at the gate said, “Do you have an iPhone? Tap the top of your phone.” And magically it worked on the first try.

-Not having to work any evenings last week. I started prep for a new show and usually there are one or two evening music rehearsals to cover during prep, but there weren’t any last week so I got to be home most evenings by the kids’ bedtime.

-my sweet coworker who brought me Ketchup chips! I think there is only one place in the area to get Ketchup chips- it’s a Wawa that my coworker walks pst once in a while. And he always remembers that I like Ketchup chips.

-The PTSA. We went to our first PTSA meeting last week. Yes, our oldest is in 8th grade and we have never been to a PTSA meeting. We are massively neglecting our civic duty. We went to this one because the Superintendent of the School District was speaking/ slash taking questions. There is all sorts of agita going on with the schools recently. The school boundaries are being redrawn and magnet programs are being reconfigured and moved. The high school choice program that our 13 year old is participating in might be dismantled. A lot of people are upset, namely parents. The whole process has really made me think about the issues of equity and opportunity in schools when our county has such a wide range of socio-economic demographics. One thing the Superintendent brought up is that equity is not about making a school’s magnet program available to students all over the county, but rather to make magnet programs available in more schools. (There is an interesting statistic I saw recently about how most of the kids in one of our area’s STEM magnet programs actually are from a wealthier part of the county. I find that super fascinating…) Anyhow, it will be fine. Our younger kids might have a very different high school experience than the 13 year old, but all told, baseline we are in a pretty privileged part of the country. Everyone will be fine. (Though some will be finer than others…) Anyhow, that is all to say, I’m grateful for PTSA volunteers for stepping up and making these meetings happen and for giving us the opportunity to advocate for our kids’ education.

-sweet sibling moments. The 8 year old found the copy of Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons and decided to try to teach his little sister how to read. Also they were wearing the (sort of) matching striped shirts that I got them, which makes me smile.

Looking Forward To:
-mom’s group brunch. I always feel bad suggesting Friday lunch with my mom’s group since I know many of them have jobs and can’t get away at that time. At our last lunch, one of the moms offered to host a weekend gathering. I’m excited to see everyone. We all met in a mom’s group in the months before COVID and that was an especially bonding experience, but we don’t see each other as much as we’d like anymore.

-Hallowe’en. Gotta get a move on finishing the costumes. We have plans to trick or treat with friends – it’s basically an excuse to hang out by their firepit and eat lots of candy.

-The Act Two finale of the Marriage of Figaro. Sublime. Can’t wait to work on it.

-My parents are coming to visit at the end of November.

-My latest audiobook. This memoir is written by a man who was laid off from his marketing job during COVID and gets a job delivering mail in rural Virginia. It is by turns fascinating, hilarious, and heart wrenching. I’m learning I really like memoirs that take a deep dive into a profession (like this book and also What the Dead Know that I read earlier this year.)

What we ate: I have to admit, I haven’t been spending time in my journal lately so I have only a vague memory of what our dinners have been. Also I’ve been working til 6:30p or so every night so haven’t been making dinner. But here’s my memory of dinners the week before….
Monday: Gnocchi chickpea soup. I made a double batch of my soup party soup and the family ate it for dinner. Except I didn’t put in the

Tuesday: Soup Party at work – see above. The family had ground beef tacos at home.

Wednesday: Breakfast sandwiches.

Thursday: Mac and cheese and hot dogs. The 13 year old cooked.

Friday: Pizza and … I’m sure there was a movie, I’m just not sure what. Our friend was out of town so he gave us his CSA. There were three heads of lettuce and a radicchio. The 13 year old made a salad and threw in 1/2 the radicchio. I rather enjoyed the bitter crunchy of the radicchio, but the little kids did not care for it.

Saturday: Dinner out at Yu Noodles after the 8 year old’s soccer game.

Sunday: Pasta and red sauce and salad. Again, using the lettuce from our friend’s CSA.

Well that’s some of the news from here last week. Or last last week… Next week I have a “What I wore” post planned. Which, I’m realizing, is what I do when I’m feeling swamped at work but still want to blog.

Are there things you are proud of that you never want to do again? Who’s ready for Hallowe’en? Ever had an awkward conversation with someone at work? What kind of soup would you bring to my soup party? If you have a work ID, how to you carry it? Retractable clip? Lanyard? Clip?

Weekly recap + what we ate: Four random things I’m bursting to share

Four random things that popped into my head/ into my life last week that I thought I’d share:

1) We have discovered that the first nine tracks of KPop Demon Hunters lasts just short of 30 minutes. The first nine tracks is where all the hit songs are. The tenth track is the Korean ballad Love, Maybe, which I like because it reminds me of the Taiwanese songs that my parents listen to, but which the kids declare is “boring”. But the real point of this is that 30 mins about the amount of time it takes to clean up the kitchen in the evening. So I make a deal with the kids: We only have to clean the kitchen for the duration of the songs on the KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack. When we get to Love, Maybe we can stop cleaning. If they stop cleaning before we get to Love, Maybe, I turn the music off. It’s been working remarkably well, and I love the synchronicity of it all. You know that feeling of great satisfaction when something just fits perfectly? like when you get to the end of a song as you pull into the driveway? Or when the gap in your suitcase is just big enough to fit that one last thing that you wanted to pack? Or when you realize that you can drop one kid at activity A, and turn around and pick up another kid from Activity B and be back in time to get the first child? Or when your document fits exactly on one page? Well I get that same really satisfied feeling when I put the last dish towel in the wash bin as Love, Maybe starts.

2) We went to a new to us Indian place! Funny story – as I was driving to the thrift store a few weeks ago, I passed our favorite Indian restaurant. This was the place from which we ordered trays of saag paneer and chana masala for our rehearsal dinner. (There might still be a portion of that chana masala in our freezer. We got married 17 years and an whole other house ago.). But… the Indian place was no longer there. I texted the Husband – “Did you know Red Chilis is closed???” He texted back, “Yeah it closed two years ago.” Wait, what??? I guess it had been a while since we had been there.
Anyhow, since then, I’ve had a hankering for Indian food, and so this past weekend, we tried a new to us Indian place that had lots of good reviews. It was a bit out of the way, but we decided to make an afternoon of visiting that part of the county – we ran errands in that direction, found a church near there with a 5pm Saturday Mass, and after Mass we went to Dosa and Chaat, which was located in an unassuming strip mall as any good restaurant would be. The food was amazing. We ordered Samosa Chaat – a samosa smothered in tamarind sauce – two kinds of dosa, two curries, and the goat biryani. Everything was so delicious and flavorful. We had intentionally ordered a lot of food so that we would have leftovers, but at the end there was just one little spoonful of butter chicken and one serving of the biryani to take home. I sort of regretted eating so much because next door was a vegan bakery that looked really good, but I was too full to get anything there. Ah well, next time. 10/10, would eat there again, even though the waiter did roll his eyes at us when we ordered the food mild. (for the kids’ sake. I like my food spicy. Even still, the biryani was pretty spicy.) I don’t always like going out to eat – it’s expensive and always such a production to go to restaurants with the kids – but getting good Indian food is always worth it to me.

Paneer Dosa. I didn’t get pictures of the rest of the food because we were too busy eating it.

3) There is a preschool nearby that twice a year has a huge consignment sale. I like to go because it’s a good way to stock up on clothes for the kids, but I have to admit the selection for kids 6+ is kind of slim. I think we might age out of this sale in another year or two. But anyhow, last week, I went and I picked up some long sleeved clothes for the kids, including this assortment of tops:

Two things, looking at the picture –
1) I have a weakness for red shirts, and
2) I was really excited to find some sort of matching tops for the 8 year old and the 6 year old. The 8 year old always complains that he never gets to match with his 5 year old sister. The 5 year old and the 13 year old used to have lots of matching outfits, and he felt left out – because heaven forbid that his older sister gets to do something that he doesn’t get to do!- so when I saw red and navy striped shirts in both their sizes, I put them in my basket. Don’t say I never do anything for you, kid.
Also – my other thought at the sale is I am baffled when people sell Cat and Jack (Target brand) clothes here for $4 or $5. I can get Cat and Jack leggings new at Target for $6 – why would I want to pay $4 for them at the consignment sale when there are other sturdier brands I could get for $4 or $5?
Oh – and my last thought on the consignment sale – I could not look at an item that was size “6/7”, without hearing my kids’ voice in my head saying that addictive, pervasive sing-song-y six-seven thing that is so popular these days. It was ridiculous. I even might have found myself muttering it under my breath at times.

4) I’ve recently discovered a new breakfast toast. Well, English Muffin, but still… the idea’s the same. English Muffin topped with peanut butter, honey, and apple slices. On the heels of Rosh Hashanah, I’ve been eating apples and honey. I’m not Jewish, but I have many friends who are, and they introduced me to this combination. Anyhow, I was having my usual English muffin with peanut butter and honey, when I realized – apples go with peanut butter. apples go with honey. So apples must go with peanut butter and honey! I was so right. It was delicious and now in regular rotation for English muffin or toast toppers.

5) Okay and one frustration – why are there so many things to log into for my kids’ school? There’s the website you log into to see their grades. There’s the site you log into to put money in their school lunch account. There’s the site you log into to pay for field trip and what not, because heaven forbid it can’t be the same site as what you use to pay for lunches. There is the site you log into to see assignments – which might be the same as the website for grades, but they have different names. I can’t keep up. This all came to a head for me when the 13 year old’s PE teacher wrote us a very nice email about how well the 13 year old is doing in PE class. It was the sweetest email to get. I wanted to write him back to thank him for the email. So I hit “reply”. And rather than just opening up a new email, I was taken to the log in page for ParentVue. Which, I don’t remember the log in information for. I just gave up. So, I’m very sorry Mr. PE Teacher – I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you, but I can’t seem to just be able to hit reply. Well, I hope you know you are appreciated. Maybe I’ll just send a note via carrier pigeon. I know the answer is really just to install a password manager. Sigh.

Grateful For:

-Pollinators and pollinator friendly plants. And the Husband for growing said plants – they are beautiful and useful. I don’t know what this plant is called, but it is such a cheerful addition to our front walk. The butterflies and the bees love it too.

-The library being open until 8pm. One evening, the Husband and the 13 year old were at a high school open house, so I took the two younger kids to gelato and the library. I appreciate having a safe quiet place to hang out with the kids in the evening.

-A bonus week! My number didn’t come up for jury service, so I didn’t have to report. I had originally blocked out this week for jury service just in case I had to go in, so I suddenly had a week open up for me. I got to have lunch with friends (twice!), go to the final day of union negotiations, visit a farmstand for apples, and all sorts of things.

-Apples! It’s apple season. So excited for all the different kinds of apples!

-That my chorus is small. I just started on my next opera and the chorus is just 12 people. The other show that we are producing, but which I’m not directly working on, has 60 people in the chorus. I love each and every member of our chorus, but I will fully admit, my job is a lot easier when there are 12 people, not 60.

Looking Forward To:
-Starting rehearsals. Can’t wait! One of my favorite operas.

-setting aside time to finally work on the kids’ Hallwe’en costumes.

-Family photos. We’re getting those taken next week. We haven’t had photos done in almost three years, but figured that the youngest going to kindergarten was a good reason to have fresh family photos taken. We’re trying to decide between taking them in an urban setting or at a park. The urban setting – downtown by my Husband’s work – has lots of interesting architecture; the park will probably be at peak fall foliage. Decision, decisions.

-Lenten Women’s group. We are reading, among other things, a passage from Esther. I’ve always loved Esther. Maybe because she is one of the few women who has her own book of the Bible.

-Mammogram and well woman appointment next week. Adulting. I’m not looking forward to the appointments, though I do really like my lady doctor. But I am looking forward to not having to think about it for another year.

What We Ate:
Monday: Sausage and steamed broccoli. The Husband cooked.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday – leftover pulled pork from the week below. Sliced cabbage, pickled onions, sour cream, cheese, and avocado for toppings.

Wednesday: Mac and cheese, hot dogs, and steamed green beans. The 13 year old cooked.

Thursday: Lemony white bean soup with turkey and greens. A Melissa Clark recipe from the NY Times Cooking. This soup was delicious and easy to put together. And it had lots of vegetables. I had enough leftover to freeze for future me.

Friday: Pizza (the Husband made it) and The Game Plan – movie featuring the Rock as someone who accidentally is saddled with a 9 year old daughter, he never knew about.

Saturday: Indian food at Dosa and Chaat.

Sunday: I had to work; The Husband made pasta with red sauce, and I ate the leftovers along with the leftover steamed broccoli from Monday.

Well, that’s another week, as we creep towards the end of the year! But first, Hallowe’en.
Do you have a weakness for a certain colour when you are buying clothes? Anyone want to weigh in on our urban vs. park family photo location? Do you have a soundtrack for any of your chores? What are your favorite things to eat on toast? Do you use a password manager? Tell me all about how awesome they are.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Checking things off the list, and looking towards the fourth quarter

Last week was my last week of true flexibility, so I had a bunch of things scheduled – picked up my new glasses (hooray! I can read again), flu shots for the kids, oil change (and then discovered the car also needed a new battery), annual check up for the 6 year old. I also got my hair cut. I like to get my hair cut before I start rehearsals because a) I feel more confident going into rehearsals if my hair looks put together and not over grown, and 2) I just won’t want to spend the time to get my hair cut once rehearsals start. This was the fastest cut I’ve ever had – even with the shampoo, I think I was in and out in less than 2o minutes. At first, I thought the bob looked a little more boxy than I usually have it cut, but I decided to live with it for a while because I’ve found that what I like in the chair often doesn’t grow out well. Anyhow, a few hours later, I decided I actually really liked my new hair cut – it’s long enough to tuck behind my ears, but short enough to look sleek and efficient.

The weekend, was also my last two day weekend until mid December, and we went on a little adventure to Shepherdstown, West Virginia. (As mentioned in my Cool Bloggers Walking Club post). I had said a few weeks ago to the Husband that I hadn’t been hiking in a while. Then the last time we were at a contra dance, there was a lady from Shepherdstown who said we should come to their dance. So the Husband planned a little half day trip for the family with hiking and dancing.. We left after lunch and drove to the Yankeur Nature Preserve, about twenty minutes outside of Shepherdstown. The Nature Preserve was farmland in the 1800s and then in the 1960s was given to the Nature Conservancy to be returned to it’s original forested state. The hike wasn’t a very ambitious, more of a nature walk through a forest via a trail. The loop peaked at a bench overlooking the Potomac where we sat and had snacks before getting back to the car.

After the hike we went to dinner at the Blue Moon Cafe, chosen because there had been a request for burgers. We sat in the outdoor garden, and ordered fried pickles for an appetizer. The two kids who had burgers said that the burgers were amazing. I had the crabcake dinner – the homemade crabcakes were really good too. From the restaurant we walked the couple blocks to the dance which was at the Community Club. The walk was really cute – Shepherdstown is a historic town – I think the oldest in West Virginia – and the downtown area is full of colonial architecture and little shops. Apparently it’s also the most haunted town in America and we passed by a group going on ghost tour.

The dance itself was very welcoming. The caller knew the Husband from back when he used to dance every week (sometimes twice) and go to contra dance weekends. When we walked in, she gave him a big hug and was so happy to see us all. The dance we pretty small and there were several people I recognized from the DC area there. Everyone was very forgiving of the kids being there, even when they kept going the wrong way during the dance. I was actually surprised that they danced as much as they did. Usually when we go dancing, they’ll do two or three dances and spend the rest of the time just running around chasing each other. Also this dance had snacks, which always helps. We danced til about 9:45pm and then piled back in the car and drove home. We got home around 11:30pm, but the nice thing about having a two day weekend is that you get to sleep in a little the next day. Or take a mid-Sunday nap. I have to be honest, Sunday was a little rough because everyone was very tired, but I do think it’s worth a day of being tired in order to have a nice adventure.

October Plans and Goals… or not. So I had originally titled this post “Fourth Quarter Goals and Plans” and I was going to write about my fall fun list/ goals for the rest of the year/ lofty plans of achievement. It seems early to be thinking about the holiday season already – I’m not trying to induce panic or anything in anyone, so sorry if you are having a bad reaction to my mention of the holidays. Though I’m sure many of you are on top of things and already planning holiday festivities. I don’t usually even think about the holidays until after Hallowe’en at the earliest. Sometimes after Thanksgiving when it’s too late and I do indeed panic. But I will say, I was a little taken aback when I got home and the kids were poring over a little something that arrived in the mail last week:

I was thinking about goals for October, but then the way my work schedule is, October rolls right into November into December and it doesn’t let up. It’s a downhill slide to the end of the year from here. After kicking around October/fourth Quarter goals for a few days, I thought, “Who am I kidding?” I start rehearsals in two weeks for a show and do two operas back to back. I don’t think I will be aiming for anything loftier than get through to the new year with kindness, grace, and patience. Because here is what is already in the calendar for the rest of the year:

-Two operas back to back. (Meaning two times through the prep week/ rehearsal weeks/ tech weeks/ performance cycles). Between October 12th and December 15th, I just have one day off a week. I haven’t double checked the calendar, but that is just nine days off – one of which is Hallowe’en, and one of which is Thanksgiving.

-Start prepping for hiring next year, all while in rehearsals/ performance.

-Parent Teacher conferences.

-a Supertitle gig – I can’t work the actual recital because of opera rehearsal, but I’ll be creating the power point slides.

-the 13 year old’s school play

-family photos

-Well woman appointment and mammogram

-usual slate of activities for the kids – soccer, piano, agility class, skating, basketball.

-The holiday trifecta of Hallowe’en/ Thanksgiving/ Christmas and all the joys and expectations those involve. I think my parents might be coming for Thanksgiving.

-Lenten book club (Though I guess we are easing into advent.)

-a few random days off school and half days for the kids

-Trip to Taiwan for my Grandfather’s birthday celebration.

All to say, I don’t know that I have it in me to make a ambitious fun list because I think I will need to maintain some blank spaces for me and for family time. Here’s the thing, though – I think I (we) can have a low key fall/ winter and still lean into the season; I don’t need to have big adventures on my one day off in order to feel like I’m enjoying the season. It’s about paying attention to the every day things that make October, November, and December different from the rest of the year, to give the things that I do daily a special holiday sprinkle. Some ideas for low key seasonal things that can fold into the regular rhythms of the life while still allowing restorative space:
-eat lots of apples
-spend time outdoors and savor the trees in all their fall splendor. Take time to notice holiday decorations as I see them – I might not have the space in me to rally a trip to one of the huge light displays, but I can take time to marvel at the Christmas lights I see on my commute.
-Tuba Christmas. The one tradition I’ll always make time for.
-change the clocks and savor the shift in light (It was pitch dark at 6:30am this morning and I felt like I didn’t know what was happening.)
-make and enjoy soups and baked goods. Or just buy and eat lots of baked goods. Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe Joes or Peppermint Stars?
-drink lots of tea.
-dress in seasonal colours and fabrics – warm oranges, yellows, reds, cozy sweaters and hats, and booties, and scarves. I love fall and cool weather dressing.
-pull out/ borrow Christmas picture books to have casually around the house. Maybe find a Christmas themed read aloud to read with the kids. Any suggestions? The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is well loved in our house.
-board games and hot chocolate (with candy cane stir sticks).
-watch Hallmark Holiday movies, even if it’s while I do the dishes at night. (The Hallmark Holiday Movie schedule is out! I’m am VERY excited for #26 – checks so many of my Hallmark Holiday Movie catnip boxes. Also there’s a time travel one, which I always love; and there’s a new installment of the Three Wise Men series! So excited. Also the movies start this weekend!!)
-read a big book. I’m thinking I might finally get to reading East of Eden. Though I’m also kicking around Anna Karenina ever since I listened to Nilo Cruz’s play Anna in the Tropics.
-eat my kids’ Hallowe’en candy
-write and send the holiday card. (If you want to exchange holiday cards – email me or leave a comment and I’ll email you!) And display the cards that come to us.
-journal reflections on the year that was and the year ahead.
-be grateful for the year that was and is, and ask the kids what they are grateful for.
-seasonal music during church services. Singing Christmas carols loudly in the car.

Notably not on my list is NaBloWriMo – Look, last year I really relished the challenge of participating, and also I really loved reading all the content that people created. But I am not a fast writer and I don’t like the pressure of cranking out content without being able to ponder and edit and edit again. I like the sense of flow that I get from writing, but that flow sometimes means that I can sit at my computer to write and two hours will go by in a blink of an eye. November is just not the time for me to be cranking out a daily blog post in that immersive way. I look forward to reading and commenting on other people’s posts and I will hopefully continue to post at my usual once or twice a week rate.

I may be over-estimating how tapped I will be this last quarter of the year, but fall last year was miserable with how packed our lives were – we had two kids in operas, and I was working on a really challenging show that just sucked everything from me. That was for sure a “never again” experience. I’m glad my kids got to be in the opera and experience being on stage, but it just about killed us to make it work. This fall/winter, I want more space so I can savor and give attention to what is important.

Things to prioritize in a busy season:
-Sleep.
-Breathing.
-yoga and other exercise
-sunlight and fresh air
-nutritious food and comfort food.
-family
-kindness and grace and gratitude
-hugs and kisses.

I might need to write that out and put it on a Post It somewhere to remind myself, especially when I feel like I’m not keeping up with everyone around me who are holiday-ing to the fullest.

Grateful For:

-Our mechanic. I’m grateful that we have a mechanic we trust to bring out car to. Funny story – when I took the car in, he asked me which car I was bringing and I said the red Subaru Impreza.
“Oh! The manual one?” he asked, his eyes lighting up.
“Yes,” I said.
“Fun!”

-Fast Internet. I went down a YouTube rabbit hole one night last week and at one point, I thought, “Man, isn’t it nice that I can watch this whole video on the making of Sense and Sensibility without waiting for it to buffer?”

-The Husband for driving when we go places. I don’t really like driving, so I’m always grateful that he gets behind the wheel.

-Time in the evening with the family. We’ve had a few nights without plans so after dinner we’ve been just hanging out. One night we did puzzles. One night we painted. One night we played Skyjo. By “we” I do mean me and the 6 and 8 year old. The 13 year old would rather watch YouTube shorts in her room. I’m trying to be okay with this, but I feel my self being all judgmental parent about it. The funny thing is she will email me links to funny videos, which is sweet, but I’m like, “DUDE! I’m sitting in the next room, just come show me!” She says it’s more fun just to email me. Sigh.

-A shady spot at the soccer game on an 80 degree day. What the heck, Fall???

-but on that note- the otherwise gorgeous fall weather. The cool breezes that help cut through the autumn heat.

-my bike.

-Thrift Stores. I’ve been on the hunt at thrift stores for things with which I can piece together the kids’ Hallowe’en costumes. The two little kids want to be K-Pop Demon Hunter characters. I found some clothes that I can use as a base, spending less than $10 per kid so far. And then I went and spent $50 on bling at Michael’s. I think most of that $50 of bling is going to get returned. Our thrift stores here are huge and not really curated, so it’s exhausting to go. But I did find some gems, including this puzzle which made me think of Elisabeth!:

Looking Forward To:
-Starting work on my next show.

-Stage Management Soup Party! For the past few years the stage management department has had a soup party in the fall and it’s a lot of fun. We have quite a few vegetarians, so I’m thinking of either making the Chickpea noodle soup from America’s Test Kitchen’s Vegan for Everyone, or this Chickpea Gnocchi Soup. Or maybe a lentil soup? So many options!

-Walk with furloughed friend. The government shutdown pretty much sucks, but it does mean that some of my friends are available for mid day walks and lunches. Silver linings.

-Kabocha squash. It’s squash season! Kabocha squash was one of my grandmother’s favorite vegetables. I got one from the farm stand the other day and I can’t decide what to do with it – curry? fried rice (there is a recipe in Meera Sodha’s new cookbook that looks really good)? This squash, kimchi, and chickpea dish looks divine, but might be too spicy for the family.

-Just started this on audio – it’s cute, and fun and set in Baltimore – always a kick to read a book set somewhere close.

Also the author has a book coming out this week Grace and Henry’s Holiday Movie Marathon, which lead to this text exchange with my friend who loves Hallmark movies as much as I do:

-And tearing through this book as well. (partly because it’s a three week loan. I’m still on the fence as to whether I like it or not. It’s very well written, but some of it just seems like too much every day life things.)

What we ate:

Monday: Tofu and Tomato Stir Fry with Sesame Rice from Meera Sodha’s new cookbook Dinner. You can also find the recipe here in Sodha’s column in the Guardian that features vegan recipes. This dish was basically a vegan take on eggs with tomatoes which is a very common dish in Taiwan. The rice was drizzled with sesame oil to give it a bit of a pop. I thought this was very tasty and it was quick – ready in less than 30 minutes. I made this because I had a bunch of tomatoes to use up. Sodha’s recipes are always full of flavor and pretty simple, but I have to say this cookbook isn’t speaking to me as much as her other cookbooks: East and Made in India and Fresh India – this book seems more fussy somehow. Even still, there are a few more dishes I want to try before I return this book to the library. Vegan.

Tuesday: Pulled pork tacos for Taco Tuesday. The Husband made the pork in the crockpot and we had our usual accompaniment of cabbage, pickled onions, sour cream, cheese, and hard and soft tortilla shells. The kids like the hard shells. I guess it’s a good vehicle for sour cream and cheese.

Wednesday: Breakfast sandwiches. The Husband cooked.

Thursday: Spaghetti and meatballs with salad (bagged) and garlic bread. The 13 year old cooked. She also somehow made two whole boxes of spaghetti even though it was just four of us for dinner, so now we have a lot of plain pasta leftover. I froze it, but I’m not quite sure what to do with it.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Freaky Friday, the 2003 Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsey Lohan version. It was my turn to choose the movie, and I picked Freaky Friday because I wanted to watch the sequel that came out this summer, but of course the kids had to see the first one first. Curtis and Lohan are brilliant in this movie. I will say, the romantic aspects didn’t seem as funny to me on re-watching. Mark Harmon (whom I have a huge celebrity crush on) trying to kiss Jamie Lee Curtis who is inhabited by her teenager’s mind- it just seemed icky. Was it funny twenty years ago?

Saturday: Dinner out at Blue Moon Cafe in Shepherdstown before the dance.

Sunday: Pasta (store bought ravioli) with red sauce. The 13 year old had leftovers because she had to eat earlier since she had swim clinic.

That’s the news from last week. This weekend looks to be rainy and I have to work, so it’ll probably be a good weekend to hunker and catch up on things. The house is due for a good “put back together” session. Hope you’re week went well, and you have good plans ahead.
Any suggestions for what to do with leftover (cooked) plain spaghetti noodles? Are you thinking/planning for the holidays yet? What’s your favorite soup?

Weekly recap + What we ate: Birthday celebrations, Unique moments, frustrating moments

For sure the highlight of last week was the 6 year old’s actual birthday. By some quirk of the calendar, her birthday fell on Rosh Hashanah and our schools were closed. We sort of joked that the schools were closed because it was her birthday, but the other two kids didn’t this this was funny and the 8 year old was actually quite salty about it. So we stopped saying that.

The Husband and I both took the day off to spend with the kids,. Originally we were going to go to Longwood Gardens but it wasn’t open, so we decided to go downtown and visit some museums on the Mall instead. A little selfishly, I chose to go to the National Gallery of Art because there was an exhibit on nature illustration that I wanted to see. We also let the birthday girl choose a second museum and she choose Natural History so that she could see the dinosaurs. The Dinosaur exhibit had undergone a major renovation in 2019, but I hadn’t been to visit it yet, so I thought this was a great museum to visit. We packed a lunch for everyone and headed for the metro.

First stop – National Gallery of Art and the exhibit Little Beasts: Art, Wonder, and the Natural World. This exhibit was a collaboration with the Museum of Natural History, and featured illustrations of small insects, animals, and plant life alongside taxidermy of those creatures and plants. I thought it was fascinating to think about artists paying such close attention to such small details. There was also one display where they demonstrated how some artists would recreate butterfly patterns by gluing the wings to the paper, and then peeling the wings off, leaving some of the scales behind. The artist would then use paints to touch up and enhance what was left behind.

Can you match the specimens to the drawing?

In a room near the Little Beasts exhibit was an exhibit called American Landscapes in Watercolor from the Corcoran Collection. The Corcoran was another art museum in DC that was dissolved in 2014, and much of it’s collection went to the National Gallery of Art. As the title suggests, this exhibit was all watercolor painting, and, since taking a watercolor class, I’m always interested in seeing what the medium can do. It was a small collection, but showed a wide range in style – from loose and florid to precise and brilliant. I’m always inspired when I see beautiful watercolor paintings, to try to figure out how an artist captures light and shapes so that I can recreate it myself.

I love the light on this painting by Val Lewton.

After the watercolor exhibit, we decided to sit in the sculpture garden and have our lunch – sandwiches and fruit. The table next to us had an intrepid little visitor:

Afterwards we wandered to the Natural History Museum where we saw the Hall of Fossils. To be honest, the Natural History Museum isn’t my favorite – it’s always loud and over run with kids and school groups, and I quickly realized that my kids love this museum because the new Fossil Hall has LOTS of screens and interactive features. I guess just reading placards isn’t good enough for kids these days. Sigh.

Oh well. There was an interesting exhibit on cell phones. There was a lot of information about how cell phones take up a lot of natural resources and minerals, but also about all the good ways that people are using cell phone technology. There was also this sculpture made of cell phones. Boy was that a trip down memory lane….

it was fun to see if I could find all the phones that I’ve ever owned.

After the Natural History Museum, we headed home to rest for an hour before we set out again for a birthday dinner at our local Mexican restaurant. We had invited our friend and his three kids to come along at the last minute, which made it a very merry party. We were commenting on how we never see each other now that their weekends are very full, but an impromptu Tuesday night invite was perfect. I know Tuesday was a holiday for many people – with obligations and traditions – but for us it was a bonus day off, and it was kind of fun to have a weekend kind of day in the middle of the week.

On my mind…I had mentioned in my last weekly post a feeling of interstitial ennui in my life. And that feeling kind of carried into this past week. I’m between shows, the kids are in school, and life is feeling a little routine. When I think about my week, it seems to be a string of morning rush/kids to school/work/kids home/dinner/bedtime/evening tv/sleep/ rinse repeat. I guess to some extent, if I zoom out far enough, every day is just going to be the same – wake up/ go to work (or do something with yourself)/ periodically eat a meal/ go to bed. We humans have (hopefully) many years of sleeping and then being awake.

A few months ago, Kae (at Grateful Kae) posted about a journal prompt: “What made today different?” The prompt has been kicking around in my brain ever since and these past few week, when I’ve been a little overwhelmed by the sameness of life (or is it underwhelmed?), thinking about what made the day unique or different has been a good reflective exercise; it’s these moments that make a day special and distinguishes one day from another. I’ve been writing two things in my journal: What made today unique? What made today frustrating? I added that second prompt because I feel like I can sometimes be either toxically positive or spiraling negativity, and I wanted to be able to look back on these days and see a balance.

So here are a couple unique and frustrating moments from last week:

Monday: Unique – a new team of stage managers started at work, and it’s always fun to see new teams come together; I started using my new computer; I made Ethiopian food for dinner.
Frustrating – listening to the new coverage of the Charlie Kirk memorial and being very disappointed by the hateful and demeaning rhetoric. I fully support honoring someone’s life, but to use it as an opportunity to put other people down and spew hatred is… distasteful.

Tuesday: Unique – going to the museum and celebrating the 6 year old’s birthday, detailed above.
Frustrating: The kids’ behavior at the restaurant was atrocious. They usually are really well behaved at restaurants, but I think we stayed a little too long and they were really excited to be with friends, so they were up and wandering about and just in general being a pain. (By kids, I mean the 8 year old and the 6 year old. The 13 year old was actually participating in conversation with her friend and the grown ups.)

Wednesday: Unique – the Husband and I started a new tv show (Paradise) which is unique because we don’t often start new shows together as it takes us so long to get to the end of a series since I work a lot of evenings. (Paradise is gripping, but the way, but maybe a little more suspense and tension than I want when I’m winding down late in the day.); Also my friend K called me and we chatted – she doesn’t often pick up the phone to call me, so this was nice.
Frustrating – the 13 year old was home sick. It’s not really frustrating, but just kind of a bummer.

Thursday: Unique – My friend L was at the bus stop in the morning, which she never is since the federal government took away WFH. After dinner, the Husband took the 13 year old to a high school open house and I took the kids to the library. I feel like we should have more evening library trips; the library is always so quiet and soothing, making it a nice pre-bed adventure.
Frustrating – I wasn’t very focused during the day and got distracted easily so I didn’t get as much work done on my super-title gig as I wanted. I need to figure out better methods for just buckling down and doing work. My current method is procrastinate and then work at a frenzied pace. That feels unnecessarily stressful.

Friday: Unique – I had first aid training at work. Good for another two years! We tried a new pizza place for Friday night pizza. It was fine. To be honest, most of the pizza around us is just fine. Or maybe it’s a me problem.
Frustrating – I didn’t check my calendar before I left for work and didn’t realize that my 10:30am meeting had been cancelled. Said meeting was the only reason I was going to our downtown offices. I had driven all the way downtown in morning traffic only to turn around and come home.

Saturday: Unique – We went to a birthday party for a friend of the 6 year old and had fun catching up with families from pre-school. The two little kids came with me when I took the 13 year old to her voice lesson and we got to go to the park by the voice teacher’s house. I did yoga in the middle of the afternoon because I didn’t have time to do it in the morning.
Frustrating: Our weekly family meeting did not go well. I don’t want to finger point or anything – just suffice to say we weren’t having a good communication day all around. Perhaps we need to rethink our expectations for them.

Sunday: Unique– I ran supertitles for a very lovely voice recital, and learned that Lakme is an opera with beautiful music and a cringe-y plot. I made fried green tomatoes for the first time. I got to go on a walk by myself after dinner while the rest of the family cleaned up.
Frustrating: Realizing, an hour before I left for work, that my new computer doesn’t have an HDMI port, which I need because I run the supertitle slides from a PowerPoint presentation off my laptop. Luckily my friend who was stage managing has a convertor.

Thoughts on the exercise: I’ve been recording unique and frustrating moments in my journal for a few weeks now and I really like it as a framework, especially for those days when I’m drawing a blank on what to write about how the day went. It helps me get very specific about the day. It feels like most of the things I note as being unique about the day are positive things, and I don’t know if that’s an entirely fair way of looking at my day. I do think that I need to uncouple the idea of unique/different with “positive”. On the other hand, you know how Anna Karenina starts, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”? Sometimes I think I feel the opposite is true for me; I can think of a million different unique things that bring me joy, but the things that make me unhappy and frustrated kind of boil down to one or two thing: people being unkind jerks is one of those things – whether that is Presidents or my own kids. Or even, a lot of the time, it’s me. I’m the jerk that’s making my own life frustrating.

Grateful For:

-The (now) six year old for being such a bright, energetic, happy, enthusiastic kid and for bringing such joy to our lives.

-The Husband packed the kids’ lunches one day last week so that I could go for a run with the 8 year old (he biked).

-Robert Munsch. There was a wonderful and touching article in the New York Times about the children’s book author Robert Munsch. When I was growing up, I LOVED Robert Munsch’s books. My favorite was Murmel Murmel Murmel, about a girl who finds a baby in a hole in her sandbox and tries to find someone to take care of him. I also loved The Paper Bag Princess, The Mud Puddle, Mortimer, and countless others. Munsh is now 76 and suffers from dementia and no longer can hold stories in his head anymore, which is so sad to me, but also makes me so grateful for the stories that he has already given the world. The profile talks about how Munsch was able to relate so well with children and be so creative in his story telling. I feel like there are many lessons to be learned from his unaffected trust of children’s intelligence.

-Flowers in our garden. Such a prefect dahlia.

–New York Times Cooking. Even though we meal plan on Sunday, there are days when what we planned just isn’t going to be what ends up on the table for one reason or another. For those days, I love my NYTimes Cooking subscription – I can type in what I’m looking to use up in my fridge, click the box for “Under 45 minutes” (or “under 30 minutes”) and click “dinner” and click “vegetarian” and I can reliably get one or two things to make for dinner. I know the internet can do this too, but NY Times cooking delivers just the right number of choices. And the comment section is golden.

– A rainy day, perfect for curling up with a book.

-But also that the rain let up for an hour so that I could go for a run.

-Free Museums. Your tax dollars at work. (Well maybe not next week, but…) Also grateful that no one has taken down the exhibits on Global Warming in the Natural History Museum yet.

Looking Forward To:

-Friday lunch plans with some moms from my mom’s group:

-Day off with my kids. We have a playdate planned. (In the most old fashioned of ways, the five year old came home with a note that said, “Hi’. Would like a playdate with us? K would love that. Here is my phone number. -K’s mom.” For some reason I found this delightful.) I kind of also want to check out a new craft cafe in the area. (Note – the play date did happen; the craft cafe didn’t. I’ll have to save that for another time…)

-Hallowe’en. The two little kids want to go as K-Pop Demon Hunter characters. The 6 year old wants to go as Zooey – I’ve picked up some things at the thrift store to make a costume for her. The 8 year old wanted to be Jinu. I was like, “Umm…. so you want to wear a white plaid shirt and jeans for Hallowe’en? Is that even a costume?” Really, I think we’re going to go with the black robe and hat look. (Okay – I just googled the hat – it’s a traditional Korean hat worn by noble men, called gat hat. It’s woven from bamboo threads and is truly an artisan craft. If you’re into super specific artisan videos, check out a video of the hat being made here. I was mesmerized.)

-Union negotiations finishing up. We are so close.

–Cool Blogger’s Walking Club. I always hesitate to say I’m joining Elisabeth’s Cool Blogger’s Walking Club because even though I do manage to get a good amount of movement in every day, I hate failing at things. Plus I struggle with the idea of being cool. But I feel like the point for me of joining a group effort is to be intentional about walking or movement – of making time so that I don’t fail. So I’m going to commit this October. I mean I do usually get some kind of movement in everyday, so I just have to write it down.

– Cool Blogger’s Book Club! Thank you, Engie for organizing! We are reading The Joy Luck Club, which I read years ago, when I was in college. (I think?). Bonus- I found a copy at the Library Book Store for $1! Joy and luck, indeed!

What We Ate:

Monday: Tikil Gomen (Meera Sodha’s recipe), shiro (Ground chickpea stew), Cucumber and tomato salad, and injera – an Ethiopian dinner. I was originally going to make misir wot (Ethiopian red lentils), but as I was standing in the co-op googling the ingredients, I came across a recipe for shiro, which I had never made before. The co-op had chickpea flour, so I thought I’d try something new and the shiro turned out to be really good. I ended up eating the leftovers as a sandwich spread throughout the week. Vegan.

I don’t usually take pictures of my food, but I was really proud of this meal.

Tuesday: Dinner out at the Mexican restaurant.

Wednesday: Zucchini Butter Pasta by Hetty Liu McKinnon for NY Times Cooking. I had a crisper full of zucchini and no plans for dinner. This was fast and easy and tasty. Maybe a little heavy on the butter, though.

Thursday: Thai-inspired Meatball Soup by Ali Slagle for NY Times Cooking. I used ground pork instead of ground chicken and basil instead of cilantro for this. This was very tasty and came together quickly.

Friday: pizza and “Light and Magic” a six part documentary about Industrial Light and Magic, the special effects company founded to create the effects for Star Wars. We only watched the first episode, but it was so fascinating to see just how groundbreaking the technology and thinking on that film was.

Saturday: Leftovers! Cleaning out the fridge.

Sunday: Kind of a hodge podge dinner – I had some green tomatoes to use up (so much so that they were no longer green), so I made fried green tomatoes. Then we had pasta (ravioli from the deli case at the store), steamed green beans, and a caprese salad. It was kind of eclectic, but tasty. I don’t often fry food because it is messy and involves a lot of steps, but boy is fried food tasty.

That’s some of the news from last week. I can’t believe we are already into October – the last quarter of the year!

Did you read Robert Munsch books growing up? Do you have a favorite? What made your week different/unique? Anything make it frustrating? Are all happy families happy in the same way? Any Hallowe’en plans yet?

Weekly Recap + what we ate: Summer recap

Last weekend we had a birthday party for the youngest child (who is now six!). We let her decide what she wanted for a party and it was a low key affair – four kids and siblings, playing in the park, cookie decorating, lots of snacks. Cupcakes from Giant. I liked that we kept the party small so I felt like I could talk to the other parents. We ordered pretzels and picked up way too much food from Costco. The cookie decorating was a hit. WE ordered unfrosted cookies from our favorite bakery, and I got to finally visit the cake decorating store near us to pick up supplies.

Speaking of cake decorating store. It was amazing! More sprinkles than you knew what to do with. A whole wall of cookie cutters. I found citric acid, which I had been looking for for a while. And all sort of random cake and cookie and candy supplies that I didn’t even know existed, but seemed essential.

So many sprinkles!!! We also bought a pack of candy eyes. Those were a hit.

After the birhtday party, the 5 (now 6) year old and I had tap lessons where we learned shuffle step. Afterwards, we popped up to work where the costume shop at work was having a costume sale. Every few years, they sell off costumes that we are no longer using and it’s always a big hit with the Renaissance Festival crowd and pre-Halloween costume seekers. I didn’t buy anything, but it was fun to see all the costumes that people were trying on and how excited they all were for everything. Then I came home and our neighbor’s kids were over hanging out so the kids all had fun together while I did the online portion of the first aid course that I am going to take. It was almost three hours long, and to be honest, the section on what to do when you see someone bleeding was hard for me to sit through. So much gushing fake blood. I am really squeamish about injuries.

Sunday we had agility class for the 5 year old, and in the space of 90 minutes I had the worst moment of the weekend and the best moment of the weekend. First the worst was trying to get to agility class. There is an annual half marathon that shuts down the parkway that I take to get to the gym and the detour take you six miles out of your way to get to that side of town. Only the signage at the road closure was terrible – there were no signs telling you where to cross the closed parkway or how to get to the other side of town. I tried three or four different roads and they were all closed. So frustrating! Finally I asked the police officers who were monitoring the road closures and they told me how far up I would have to go. We ended up being 30 minutes late to class, and I was so very very very frustrated. Next year, I’ll just take the beltway to Agility Class when the marathon happens.

The highlight of the weekend, however, was on the way home from agility class. I’ve noticed there is a house that once in a while has a sign out front that says, “Honey for Sale” and I’ve always wanted to stop, but it’s on a busy road with no good place to pull over. Well the sign was out and we had just finished a jar of honey so I just pulled into the driveway. And there were two tables with jars of honey on them and a bunch of beehives lining the perimeter of the yard. And then a nice man came out of the house and started talking to us about honey and all the different kinds of honey that he had and and he gave us samples and he told us that he has hives all over the county – in exchange for letting him keep hives on their property, he gives people one jar of honey per hive. I learned so much about honey and bees in the fifteen minutes that we were there. He also said that the worst thing you can do if bees are bugging you is to violently swat at them, and the best thing you can do is to bend over and tuck your head down since bees are attracted to shiny things up high – namely your eyes. We came away with a jar of spring honey.

Some other things from the week that was:
-It was kind of a funky week for me – I felt a little restless. I can’t tell if it was because things had settled down or if it was because things felt unsettled. I kind of found myself in an interstitial space where all the big things had been checked off my list so theoretically I was in a resting place. But are there ever any true resting places in life? Or is that just where you are until something comes to knock you off your feet again? I just found that couldn’t relax because I thought surely something else must becoming down the way and I have to be prepared.

-I got to have lunch with the Husband – we went to a delicious Mexican place next to his work – they have the tastiest tortas. Afterwards we went to the cookie and cake decorating store and then I stopped at the smoothie place and got a papaya smoothie and a mangonada.

-Undercover Quinoa Crisps are back at Costco!!!!! Okay these are Milk Chocolate, which I don’t like as much as dark chocolate, but still… pretty exciting. I bought two bag and now think I maybe should have bought more. I was so distraught when they stopped carrying them earlier this year.

-We didn’t buy anything at the costume sale, but there was a child’s dress from a production of The Ballad of Baby Doe that the 5 year old tried on:

How cute is she? I didn’t buy the dress, though.

-Started a new jigsaw puzzle at work. Is there anything more satisfying than the “snap” of the first time you put two pieces together when doing a puzzle.

Summer Recap –I didn’t have time to write monthly recaps for June, July, and August, but I figured now that summer is officially over, I could roll it all into one big “The Summer that Was” post. The summer I thought I was going to have at the beginning of June was not at all the summer I ended up having. In June, I had no work booked and was envisioning three months of adventures with the kids – going to the pool, camping, hiking, county fair, cooking projects… See the whole aspirational menu of summer activities here, where I wrote about having an intentional summer.

Welp, I ended up being called in last minute to fill in for a colleague and working from mid July to mid-August. Suddenly all the time I had planned for adventures was no longer open. But you know what? Looking back on my “menu of summer activities” I find that I did actually do a lot of the the things on the list. Here are some things to remember about my summer:

Summer 2025 Highlights:
-The end of the school year! The youngest child’s last day of daycare. We are DONE paying for daycare. (Fun fact – even with three kids we have never had to pay for more than one kid in daycare at a time. The first and second kids are five years apart so the first was in kindergarten by the time the second went to day care. Then the two younger kids never went to daycare together because there was COVID and no one went to daycare for almost two years, and by then the second kid was in kindergarten. I feel very very lucky. I mean we still spent the money somehow, but at least not all at the same time.)

-South Africa Trip with the 13 year old. Probably the biggest highlight. More recaps of this are coming, I promise!

-The two younger kids going to Taiwan culture camp with my mother. They had a FANTASTIC time, came back obsessed with K-Pop Demon Hunters, and have said they want to go back next year.

-“Make a summer playlist” was on my fun list, but we just listened to the soundtrack to K-Pop Demon Hunters on endless repeat, so I feel like that was the soundtrack of our summer. And our fall. And our winter.

-Lots of time at the pool. Summer swim team meant being at the pool five days a week most weeks. So many people commented on how tan I was this summer. It wasn’t because I was on a beach vacation, that’s for sure. But… one thing that did get checked off the summer list was that the two younger kids finally figured out how to swim, and the youngest even learned to dive. And I also learned to dive. So that was pretty cool. And as always, I loved watching the 13 year old swim.

-Eating lots of peaches. Twice I scored a crate of peaches for super cheap so we ate lots of peaches. I made three cobblers, peach paletas, and canned eight jars.

-Kitchen adventures: we made paletas (watermelon ones and peach ones), tang hulu, and a big batch of chocolate chip cookies. (My go to recipe is the copy cat Mrs. Field’s recipe with oatmeal in it. The recipe says to blend all the oatmeal into flour, but I leave half of it unblended for a hardier texture.)

-We went to the movie theatre for the Kpop Demon Hunters sing a long. Also saw Jane Austen Wrecked my Life – a movie matinee date with a friend. It feels so indulgent to see the first showing of the day and have the theatre all to ourselves.

-Went to visit our friend out in Southern Maryland twice and got to enjoy her pool, good food, and vibrant company.

-One voice recital (13 year old) and two piano recitals (8 and 13 year olds).

-Going to New York City and meeting up with my sister in law and her family. We saw the Transit Museum (highly recommend) and had some ridiculously over the top desserts at Grace’s cafe in Koreatown.

-Went to the opera with the 13 year old.

-Went to the theatre with the 13 year old. chaperoning theatre camp field trip and saw a beautiful wordless production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It was magical what people can express without uttering a word.

-The eight year old got a new bike and we had some good biking time with him, including biking to the farmer’s market. The 5 (now 6) year old hasn’t figured out how to ride a bike yet, but we’re still working on that.

-My summer job. It was one of my least favorite operas to work on in the rep (Carmen – you can read my guest post on Engie’s blog if you want to know why), but this time proved not so bad. I chalk this up to the director keeping things simple since we had very little rehearsal time, and everyone – the stage managers, the cast, the crew, the administration – being delightful and collaborative to work with. But even still, it was so so so so so darn hot the night we performed. And the theatre is outside.

-A glorious weekend at home alone while the Husband took the kids to Indianan on his own. It wasn’t totally on my own because I had to work, but at least the house was quiet. Maybe too quiet.

-The 13 year old and the 8 year old auditioned for the chorus of the Holiday opera that I’m working on. There was a large turn out this year, so I’m not sure they will be offered a slot, but I think it was a good experience for them to audition.

-Lenten book club where we discussed Mary and Martha.

-We got a new shoe rack and it’s been life-changing for our foyer.

-Visit from my cousin.

-going Contra dancing as a family.

-Discovering some new fun family games: Happy Salmon and Dixit.

-Everyone going back to school. We went to two Back To School Nights and got to see the classrooms and meet the teachers. It’s been a pretty chill school year so far. And that new closer bus stop has been amazing.

Summer Lowlights or just “meh” Some not fun things this summer (keeping it real, you know. I mean I don’t have a lot to complain about, but there were some things that were just… UGH.)

-Traffic commute to my summer job. That one time it took ninety minutes to get to work because a mushroom truck overturned. That other time it took me over TWO HOURS to get to work, via side streets, through parts of the DC area I only knew from maps. All that grossness. Periodically in a manual car, but more often than not, the Husband let me drive the van.

-Lots of things at work that I can’t really write about, but let me say… it’s making me real sad.

– The continued dismantling of America and the division that our great and fearless leader is perpetuating.

-mosquitoes.

-The 24 hours when my blog was down. But then thankfully fixed by … not sure whom. It could have been an AI chat bot for all I know. But anyhow, I was feeling a lot of despair during those 24 hours.

-I didn’t get a chance to go camping. I think this is the first year in a while that I haven’t taken the kids camping and I really missed being out in the mountains and trees. I guess I could do some fall camping, but work is starting to ramp up.

-That day where we tried to find a dresser for the 13 year old and it ended up with everyone hungry and tired and unable to think straight or look at any more furniture again for a very long time. (She still doesn’t have a dresser. I try not to look in her closet…)

-A tricky situation with our tenants that is now resolved in a friendly way, but did cause a bit of existential angst.

-I did not do ANY decluttering. Actually the Husband might have done some one weekend when I was working, but I didn’t really tackle much this summer. It’s kind of a bummer because the clutter areas tend to stress me out.

Things I learned:
-Pools are splashy places.
– how to say, “I see where you’re coming from…” when disagreeing with someone.
-Label the quick change booths. Label everything.This I learned from one of the other Assistant Stage Managers I work with. He was doing a show with a lot of quick costume changes and there were many quick change booths set up backstage. In opera if there is less than ten minutes to change a costume, we usually do the change backstage rather than have artists go back to the dressing rooms. (A true “quick change” in the opera world is five minutes. In theatre, five minutes is luxurious. For them true quick change is less than one minute.). Now just because the term “Stage Right Quick Change Booth” seems self explanatory, when you have just sung a big number onstage and then need to haul ass offstage and change costume in 2 minutes – well you don’t always remember what “Stage Right Quick Change Booth” means. Also if you’re a make-up artist coming backstage to give someone a scar in the Stage Right Change Booth, you don’t necessarily know which side is Stage Right or Stage Left right off the bat. So my colleague started putting signs on all the booths backstage along with who is changing in them. I thought this was brilliant!! Such a simple thing, but also hugely helpful in eliminating confusion backstage.

Welp that was summer 2025. Not the summer I had planned, but still a fun summer all around anyway. Onward to Fall!

Grateful For:

-The pretzel guy. For the now-6 year old’s birthday party, we wanted to order pretzels from The DC Pretzel Company. They are a go to for us for parties because their pretzels are vegan and delicious. Well, when I went on to the site to order… wump wump. Our date was unavailable. Cue panic. What are we going to do? So I emailed the owner. (Who, incidentally, is a federal worker who makes pretzels just on the weekends … actually I’m not sure if he’s still a federal worker…) He replied and said they weren’t taking orders for that day because they were baking pretzels for a local charity galas. BUT if I told him what I needed, maybe they could work something out. So I told him I needed 24 pretzels to be picked up any time before 9:45am on Saturday. And he said, “We can make that work. Can you pick them up at 9am?” YES! Yes, we can. I’m so grateful for Mr. Pretzel man for accommodating us. The pretzels are always the hit of any party we have.

-Umbrellas and rain boots and rain coats. When one remembers to bring them along.

-One extra hour to finish a book. I had a Libby hold that was due back so I was madly trying to finish reading it. I don’t know if this was a new feature, but when I got close to the time the book was due, I got this notice on my Libby app:

Well, I only had twenty more minutes left to read (according to that part of Libby that tracks your reading pace) so I clicked yes please and hunkered down and finished the book.

-Sunny weather for the 5 (now 6) year old’s birthday party. It had been raining all week and I was nervous that we’d have to move the party to our house – which would have been fine because there weren’t that many kids – but it’s much nicer when the kids can run and jump outside and not on my furniture. But luckily the day of the party was cloudy but dry. It actually started to rain the minute I pulled the car out of the parking lot as we were leaving.

-That two of my favorite friends and I were able to get together for Happy Hour. These are my two favorite bus stop friends – we used to chat all the time after the bus picked up, but now one friend has returned to work in the office and the other’s kid rides their bike to school, the bus stop is a little bit sadder for me. But we’ve been getting together every other month or so for happy hour (really by that I mean we have dinner at a favorite neighborhood bar) and it’s been really great to catch up.

-peanut butter and vanilla ice cream. My new favorite thing to do when I finish a jar of peanut butter now is to put vanilla ice cream in it and use the ice cream to eat up the last remaining bits of peanut butter in the jar. Makes me feel like I’m being thrifty.

eating every last drop of peanut butter.

-notepads on which to make lists. I’m very grateful someone invented lists.

Looking Forward To

-Jury Duty. I have that coming up in two weeks. I’m equally excited to be chosen as not chosen to be on a jury.

-Skating lessons. We’ve signed the 8 and 6 year old up for a mini skating session once the rink re-opens. I’m looking forward to being on the ice again too.

-A supertitle gig coming up. It’s a program of opera arias and duets and I think there will be some amazing singing.

-October! It’s right around the corner.

What We Ate:

Monday: Coconut Curry Chickpeas with Pumpkin and Lime, from the New York Times. I was looking for a cozy vegan meal and we also had a can of pumpkin to use up. This was very tasty. Vegan.

Tuesday: Chicken Orzo Soup from Dinner Illustrated. The kids have been wanting chicken noodles soup lately, so this fit the bill.

Wednesday: Tofu Bahn Mi from Dinner Illustrated. This was the 13 year old’s night to make dinner. It was very tasty.

I’m so proud of her that I took a picture of her meal!

Thursday: The Husband cooked dinner and I’m not sure what they ate – very likely eggs.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Worth It. Have you seen Worth It? It’s a show where in every episode the hosts try three versions of one food – one that is $ (affordable), one that is $$ (mid), and one that is $$$$$$$$$$ (Luxury). (One episode was :$1 taco vs. $47 taco. They’ve also done donuts, buffets, hamburgers, pizza…) Each episode is like 15 minutes long and the food always looks so good. I have to say, the really expensive food always looks jaw dropping, but I never feel like it’s worth it. But then again, I very rarely find the food I eat in restaurants completely worth it. The food isn’t really any tastier than what I can make at home. I think what makes eating out worth it for me is not having to cook or clean up myself, and also the company I have while eating out. Anyhow, it’s a fun little bit of tv if you’re looking for something short to watch.

Saturday: Dumplings and green beans and ate the decorated cookies, and watched Sneakers, in honor of Robert Redford’s passing. I love Sneakers so much! It’s such a great movie – suspenseful, smart, funny, and with a nice variety of characters. Also really appreciate that they didn’t pair Robert Redford with some twenty something in this film.

Sunday: Tortellini with either red sauce or pesto, steamed green beans, and Caesar Salad out of the bag. We’ve had tortellini and red sauce or pesto two weeks in a row now. I wouldn’t be surprised if this becomes our Sunday night meal. There is something in me that thinks Sunday night meals need to be elaborate and celebratory. But also, it’s nice to do something low key before we go back into the week.

And look another weekend is coming up. I have to work both days this weekend, but I do get to take break and do “shuffle step” at my tap class. Hope you close out September with grace and style.

Are you ready for Fall? Any memories from summer you’re still holding on to? Do you have a go to chocolate chip cookie recipe? What makes a meal in a restaurant feel “worth it” to you?

Weekly recap + what we ate: Thinking about what I do.

Last week was kind of a quiet week, but still had some nice moments. My cousin was in town and I had a good time hanging out with her. We didn’t do anything touristy, just folded her into the usual household chaos. On Tuesday she drove the 5 year old to school so I was able to bike to school with the 8 year old. After we met my cousin at the school, she put both my bike and the 8 year old’s bike in her car and we went to a yoga class. My cousin is really good at finding fitness classes wherever she goes – she’s a bit of a digital nomad and is always travelling – she goes to Barcelona next. She found a nearby yoga studio that had a free first class offer so we signed up for a yoga core class. I was a little leery about that “core” part going in, but the class turned out to be super gentle. Maybe too gentle? But it was very relaxing.

Last week was also Back To School Night for the elementary school kids. I used to always skip Back to School Night when the oldest was in elementary school. her school was 30 minutes away and to trek up there didn’t feel worth it to me. I will say, I prefer the middle school back to school night to the elementary school one. In middle school we get to go class to class – it’s a little like human Frogger. In elementary school, the teacher gets 45 minutes, and we all sit there. I feel simultaneously bombarded with information and at the same time unaware of what my kids’ classes will be like. But still, it was nice seeing the kid’s classroom.

The weekend that followed was a very full weekend for us, but all good things. Saturday we had voice lessons for the 13 year old, a kids’ birthday party to go to, a soccer game for the 8 year old, and 5 year old and I had our first tap class, then I went to work and the Husband took the two big kids to church in the afternoon. Writing it all out, it seems like a lot, but I feel like everything flowed into one another and the Husband and I took on separate kid events. The birthday party was at a neighbor’s house, so we actually sent the 8 and 5 year old over by themselves so that I could mow the front lawn before heading over myself. I love that we are at the age of drop off birthday parties. I do like talking to other parents, but it sometimes feels as if we are constantly going to birthday parties, so it’s nice when we can just drop and go on with our lives for a little bit.

For sure tap class was a highlight. Tap class was LOUD, first of all. I should have expected that, but I was unprepared for how the room reverberates from movement and sound waves. There is something really fun about being able to make all that noise. I don’t know how much technique we’ll learn – the class is more like one of those Parent and Me music classes where the goal is just to get the kids to move. The instructor taught us a few ways to make noise with our feet and then we danced in circles and then in lines and did lots of twirling and pretending that we were rabbits and jumping across the room. There were a few parents that clearly knew what they were doing, and I felt very self conscious about not knowing what I was doing, but I’m going to try to get over that.

After class, I had to work, covering a chorus music rehearsal – this is where the chorus learns the music, so it’s a pretty hands off rehearsal for me. I mostly go to check attendance and make sure everyone gets the breaks they are owed per union contract. The tap studio is in the same building as the one we rehearse in, so the 5 year old tagged along with me to work, rather than me having to rush her home and then come back. Having her at work was kind of fun. She helped me call break warnings to the chorus: “Two minutes left in the break!” She was surprisingly loud. I had to do some paperwork while the chorus was learning their music, so the five year old did some collage projects with old magazines and had some hot chocolate that we had in the office.

Once I got off work, we headed over to our friends’ house. These were the same friends who had the birthday party earlier. I had felt bad leaving the party early to go to tap class, but our friends said to come over in the evening after work – they had rented a bounce house for the party and it wasn’t going to get picked up until 7pm, so the party was going to continue. The Husband met me there, and he had picked up dinner at a fried chicken and BBQ place. One annoying thing is that our order was missing things, but the restaurant is so far away it wasn’t worth going back – I’ve written to them to see if we can get our money back, but haven’t heard from them. So irksome. But the food was tasty. We stayed at our friend’s house until it was time to put the kids to bed and then headed home.

Sunday, we went contra dancing in the afternoon. The few dances we’ve been to lately have been at the Civic Center, but this Sunday dance was at the Spanish Ballroom at Glen Echo Park, where the Husband and I met. Back before the pandemic there were two contra dances a week at Glen Echo – one of Friday night and one on Sunday night. I think after COVID they went down to just the Friday night dance, but now a monthly Sunday afternoon dance has been added. I really like the Sunday afternoon time slot – we can take the kids and stay for most of the dance without worrying about bedtime or the kids having an exhausted meltdown. If the kids don’t feel like dancing they can go to the playground next to the ballroom and play there while the Husband and I dance. On Sunday, the 13 year old danced maybe four dances and the 5 and 8 year olds did two or three. During the waltz, all three kids made up some kind of dance and twirled each other around the dance floor. I had originally thought we would only stay until 5:00pm, but we ended up staying and dancing all but the last contra dance – it was a lot of fun – the music was hot (I had been skeptical because the band had a flute and a flue is not something I associate with contra dance music), the people were friendly, and the dancing was fast and flowing.

How do you answer “What do you do?” Between parties and the start of school, I feel like I’ve met lots of new people lately. Perhaps this is a very DC type of thing, but the instinct is always to ask (or be asked), “What do you do?” It’s kind of a fraught question these days, to be honest. I just never know if someone is a federal employee who has just lost their job or what. Anyhow, “What do you do?” has been on my mind a lot recently, and I’m reminded of something I heard once (maybe it was a Ted Talk or a podcast, I’m sorry I can’t remember) where this phrase was offered as a way to answer the dreaded questions: “I help X do Y.”

There is something I really love about that framing – it opens up so many possibilities to be descriptive and to really get to the heart of how I spend my time at work. I’ve been thinking of ways to answer “what do you do?” with that phrasing. Some things I’ve come up with something to say instead of saying, “I’m an opera stage manager.”

On a macro level: “I help people tell stories onstage.”

Or on an even bigger picture level: “I help people experience emotions through art.”

On a micro level: “I help singers know when to go out onstage.” “I help a director’s vision for a show come to life” “I help union members get their required break.” “I help technical departments know what’s going on in the rehearsal room.”

Of course, it’s not all about the work I get paid for either…

“I help my kids grow up to not be assholes.” Or at least I try.

There is something slightly self-effacing about this approach, to be sure. Sometime I think, “If I were a man, would I phrase my job as one of assisting rather than of being the main event?” But I also think that by seeing where I fit in the bigger picture of what my organization does, seeing my job as a facilitator of dreams and expression – I think that is a very grounding idea to keep in mind, especially these days. There are definitely days at work when I cling hard to the belief that telling stories onstage, providing a place for people to be immersed in music and escape the real world for a couple hours – that this is worthwhile work. Granted, on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs opera/music/art is hardly the base of the triangle, but don’t you think that in America of 2025 we should be able to aspire to the top of Maslow’s pyramid?

Back to answering “What do you do?” Another way I read lately to approach the question is to say, “You know how [thing that happens]? Well I [whatever part I play in the process]”

So for me, that might be: “You know how when you go to a show and the scenery moves or the lights change colours? Well, I’m the person who tells the stage crew when to make those things happen.” Or “You know when you go see a play and a character pulls a book out of a pocket? Well I’m the one who tells the costume shop which pocket the book comes from and how big the book is.” I like this idea of taking something that might be a common experience for every one and give people a behind the scenes view. I think we all do things – in work, in life – that are out of the public eye, or that might not be interesting to other people in the minutia of detail, but when seen in the context of something people are familiar with, the minutia of our job feels illuminating.

But all that to say – I’ve been trying to avoid asking the dreaded “What do you do?” question when I meet new people. To be honest I’m struggling a little with how to initiate conversations instead. Sometimes I ask where people grew up/ if they are from the area and see where the conversation goes from there.

I’m going to leave you with this bit of found poetry – the 5 year old loves to open up a note on my iPad and draw. Lately she also has realized that if you type in a letter or two, the iPad will automatically suggest a couple words. I mean she can’t read yet, so she is just choosing words at random from the suggested ones. Here is her opus. I can’t help but to think there is something worth embracing there:

Grateful For:
-A surprise half day with the kids and being available to pick up the kids early unexpectedly. On Monday the water main at the elementary school broke and the Principal sent an email at 12:50pm saying that the students would be dismissed at 1:20pm. Luckily my kids took the bus home, because from what I understand, pick up at the school was chaotic. I’m glad I didn’t have to battle the lines of people trying to find the kids they were supposed to pick up. I know a lot of parents just couldn’t pick up their kid with such a late notice for the early closure, so I’m glad I wasn’t working that day. At any rate, I had a bonus half day with the kids thanks to the water main break. We went to the library and then we went to Hmart, where the K-pop Demon Hunters soundtrack was on shuffle repeat much to the delight of the kids who started dancing in the aisle. Good thing HMart wasn’t too crowded at 2:30pm on a Monday.

-Discount bananas. There were bags of ripe bananas at the grocery store being sold for $2.99/ bag, so I grabbed a bag and turned them into banana chocolate chip muffins. I used this recipe from the NY Times and the streusel crumb topping really made this muffin sing. (If you make the recipe, I only used half a cup of sugar and the muffins still came out plenty sweet.)

-That it is still light in the morning. Granted the days are getting shorter, but I’m grateful that it is still light at 6:45am when I get up.

-Bike trails all the way to school.

-The bushes of Sweet Autumn Clematis that I walk by on the way to the bus stop. The smell so sweet, a nice pick me up reminder to breathe. Also grateful for the Seek app that identified the plant for me.

-People who are kind to my kids and make them feel welcome. Two things happened last week that made me grateful for people who accept kids as part of the fabric of life. When I had to have the 5 year old tag along to work, the chorus was all super nice to her. And when she announced the end of the break in her surprisingly loud voice, the chorus gave her a huge round of applause. Then at the contra dance, everyone was really kind to the kids. The two little kids like to dance as one person, three legged race style – which I’m sure can be annoying because in addition to having an extra body to navigate, the kids don’t always know how to follow the call. But I had a few people come up to us and say how wonderful it was to see kids at the contra dance, so I’m really grateful their presence was accepted and even celebrated. It could have been just as easy for people to be annoyed at the presence of my kids but they weren’t.

-A little bit of rain and the cooler weather that it brought.

-Fresh basil. I fear that summer is coming to a close and our days of fresh basil might be numbered. I will savor it while I can, though.

Looking Forward To:

-The 5 year old’s birthday party. We’re having just a handful of kids to play in the park and decorate cookies. We’ve ordered pretzels and we’ll have croissants and fruit and cake and maybe a charcuterie plate. It’s a morning party, so we’re not ordering pizza – I’m a little afraid I might get flamed for not having pizza. Pizza seems like such a staple of a kids’ party. But the party is from 10a-11:30am, so I thought to do more of a breakfast theme.

-Contra dance in Shepherdstown, WV. The Husband met someone at the Sunday dance who runs the contradance in Shepherdstown, WV and so we’ve decided to go for their dance in October. He’s paired it with an afternoon of hiking because I was lamenting that I haven’t been hiking in quite a while. It seems like an ambitious afternoon/ evening, but I’m excited to try.

-This is far into the future, but I’m looking forward to one day having shade. A few years ago, the county cut down a tree in our that strip of grass in front of our house between the sidewalk and the street. (What is that slice of grass called anyway? Google has soooo many words for it – verge, parkway, right of way, hellstrip??? This seems like a good summary.) And then about a year or so later they planted a tree. A little tiny tree. I look forward to the day that the tree is not so tiny and there is once again shade under which to park my car. Of course I guess that also means bird poop on my car too….

Someday, son, you will grow as tall as that baby tree on

-Just started listening to this – I wanted a nice cozy listen and this is fitting the bill so far:

What We Ate:

Monday – Coq au Vin in the Instant Pot. The 8 year old LOVES this recipe from the Good Housekeeping InstantPot book. The rest of the family could take or leave it. But it makes him so happy so I make it for him two or three times a year.

Tuesday – Crispy tofu tacos with black beans. Recipe from NY Times Cooking. These were very delicious. I made extra beans and had bean and cheese burritos for lunch the rest of the week. Vegan. (except the kids slathered their tacos in sour cream.)

Wednesday – Pasta with sauteed zucchini and spinach. This was Back To School Night and we had meant to order pizza because the neighbor’s kids were going to come over and the 13 year old was going to watch them while the parents went to back to school night. But at the last minute they didn’t have to come over so I decided not to spend money on pizza and made a catch all pasta with veggies that were leftover in the fridge. It was quite tasty.

Thursday – The 13 year old’s day to cook. She made cod baked in foil and roasted potatoes.

Friday – pizza (take out) and movie night. I think the family watched the Lego movie. Again.

Saturday – Fried Chicken Carryout at our neighbor’s house.

Sunday – tortellini with marinara sauce and fresh pesto. Steamed green beans on the side. Easy and filling supper to throw together after getting home from the dance.

I seem to be a bit behind in posting again what with the weekend so close and all. Oh well. Hopefully I’ll have another South AFrica Post for you all next week. In the mean time, hope you have a great weekend!

What do you say when someone asks “What do you do?” Finish the sentence: “I help _____ do ____.” What would you do with a bag of overripe bananas? What do you call the strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street????

Weekly Recap + What We Ate: New things we are trying

Last week was a shorter school week because of the Labor Day holiday. It was also my last week on a reduced contract at work, so it was pretty light work-wise, though there were several union negotiation meetings to attend and lots of other adulting to do. All in all, though, it was a pretty low key week. I got to get some nice cooler weather runs in, the kids went to school, they came home, we had one soccer practice, I got to go on a pirate boat cruise on the Potomac, but other than that, not to much going on, and the weekend was similar. On Saturday, we had a 9:30am soccer game for the 8 year old, auditions for the 8 and 13 year old. After the auditions, we celebrated by sitting outside and eating the frozen treats that the Husband had bought at the nearby food coop. We were originally going to go out to get chais and horchatas from a local coffee shop, but the ice cream was a cheaper option and just as festive.

Saturday evening we went to visit my friend in Southern Maryland, where the kids had a chance for one last swim in a pool. It was probably a little on the chilly side for the pool, but the kids’ didn’t mind. I floated on an tube for maybe thirty minutes – it was the kind of weather where you wanted to either be in the pool or out, but it was too cold to be constantly switching. My friend is someone I know from work, so it’s always nice when we can hang out oustisde of work. She just rebuilt her deck by herself, and it’s amazing.

Sunday my cousin came for a visit and we just hung out around the house. We watched the US Open Men’s Final. I’ve never really watched tennis before, and I don’t know the rules, or whom to root for, but I do enjoy watching that ball go back and forth and back and forth. Also, I was unfamiliar with the tradition of the Grand Slam winners and losers making speeches at the trophy ceremony and afterwards became fascinated with this tradition. It seems so bonkers to me that the players play their hearts out for three hours, experience crushing defeat or thrilling victory, and then immediately after are expected to coherently speak to millions of people? And for a lot of them, English isn’t even their first language. Despite all that, the Grand Slam trophy speeches seem like an appropriately elegant part of a sport that I do think is very glamorous.

New Things For This School Year:
September always brings some shifts to schedules, routines, and habits what with the new school year starting and kids going to new schools, new grades, new activities. I once made a chart, and from now until the 5 year old goes to high school in nine years, we‘ll have only two years where September does not bring a new school for someone. The other seven years will always have a transition to a new school for at least one kid. So September always seems like a natural time to think about systems and routines and try something new. Here are some things we’re trying this fall:

A new shoe rack/ foyer/ landing strip set up – Our foyer is a mess of shoes and backpacks and tote bags and what not. We were constantly tripping over things in walkways or kicking things down the stairs, losing keys and single shoes and IDs and bills. We started looking for solutions for a more efficient drop zone, where we could keep the shoes and back packs in a more organized way but also have place for incoming mail and our keys and ids. The Husband found a really cool shoe rack on Etsy and we had our handyman stain it to match our front door. The rack has transformed our foyer. (So far. It’s only been two weeks…)

Backpacks are on the coat tree on the right. My messy drop bin is out of sight on the left.

Flow improvements:
-Everyone has a shelf for their most used shoes, so they are no longer sprawled across the entry way. We will still use the boot mats for boots, and shoes that aren’t worn regularly stay in the coat closet, but everything else goes on the shoe rack. There are 4 shelves for shoes and space underneath, so everyone’s shoes seem to fit while taking up a smaller footprint. yay for vertical storage.
-Moving the paper recycle bin next to the shoe rack so that the junk mail goes right into the bin and the important mail goes into the mail bin.
-Having the mail bin and the key bin to the top level of the shoe rack. These used to live on a bench, and it was always kind of awkward to get to them.
-A charging station. We are using one of the top cubbies as a charging station. So now, my phone has a “home” when I’m at home. I’m hoping this will lead to less scrolling and less losing of my phone. We’re trying to convince the 13 year old that her phone also needs to charge there, but I don’t know if we’re going to win that one. (That’s a whole other story…)
-backpacks moved from bins to a coat tree, corralling them in a smaller space. We used to have three plastic storage bins in the living room and they became a dumping ground for backpacks and anything else that didn’t have a home. Once a week, the kids would go through their bins and re-set. I love me a good catch all bin, but it was getting out of control. Now the kids’ activity bags and helmets go in their room and just school backpacks are the the foyer hung on the coat tree. We might need to investigate a different coat tree because the current one is a little tall for the kids’ to reach easily. (The 13 year old keeps her backpack in her room.) I still have my little red bin for my tote bags – I’m trying to figure out if there is a more elegant solution for my stuff – I like to be able to dump my things when I walk in the door because often I’m coming in so late and that tends to lead to a bit of clutter. Still pondering here.
All in all, our new foyer/land strip has made life a little less frustrating lately.

Fewer Activities for the Kids/ More evenings at home as a family – This is the activity run down for this fall:

13 year old – basketball workouts (1x a week, plus this year the coach wants people to practice on their own at least ten minutes a day. The 13 year old has been doing this as she waits for the two little to get off their bus), piano lessons, voice lessons, Religious Ed, Swim clinic (starts next month)

8 year old – soccer (1 practice, 1 game a week. He’s still playing the less competitive rec league.), piano.

5 year old – tap classes, Agility classes (this is like ninja warrior courses.)

This is a lot fewer activities than we usually do. One thing that we dropped for the fall is skating for the 5 and 8 year old because the rink is still under repair. We will likely add skating back in November when the rink re-opens. We also aren’t doing after school programming classes or sewing (for the 8 year old) or gymnastics (for the 5 year old) this fall. The 13 year old is auditioning for the school play, so that might be another activity back on the plate, although rehearsals are right after school, so it’s pretty hands off for us. The 13 year old and the 8 year old both auditioned for the children’s chorus of the Holiday opera I’m working on, so we’re waiting for those results, though those rehearsals don’t start until November.

Being light on activities is a bit of a shift for us. Usually I try to sign up the kids for activities when my work load is lighter because then we have two parents on hand to split driving and home duties. But this fall, we decided to try something different and keep the schedule a little lighter. Each kid still has one active activity and one artistic activity, though. I feel bad because skating, programming, sewing and gymnastics are things that the kids really love to do. I’m reminding myself that these activities all have short sessions and rolling enrollment, so we can sign them up for sessions later in the year too. Taking the fall off from an activity isn’t going to stunt their development in that interest or put them “behind”. Whatever that means. I do think it gets trickier when kids get older and start to get more serious about interests and require more commitment, but for now I think the stakes are not as high for the 5 year old and the 8 year old, and we don’t have to keep up with anything. Plus the kids love activities, but they also love just hanging out at home, reading books, playing outside, and getting into trouble.

I have to say, the pulling back on activities has actually been quite lovely. We’re not constantly rushing around on weekday evenings to eat dinner and get someone somewhere. We all have been cleaning up after dinner together, and then having family reading time, or family game time. Same thing on weekend – we have time to hang out together and kind of just do… well, I was going to say “nothing”, but reading books and noodling on the piano and playing board games and going on evening walks and having dance parties while doing the dishes and putting away laundry in a timely manner – these are all something.

Another thing that I think benefits from the lighter activity schedule is something that came up at Back to School Night – The coordinator of the French Immersion program said is that our kids really need time to decompress after school because they’re brains are working overtime being in a non-English school environment. I’m sure all kids need that space after school, but I guess I hadn’t really thought of the added burden of being in an immersion environment before. Anyhow, I’m really enjoying the less frenetic paces of our afternoons and evenings. I don’t know how long we will keep it up, but it does make for a nice soft start for the school year.

I’m going to give a shout out to our new favorite game, Dixit. It’s kind of like a combination of the Dictionary Game and Code Names – there are picture cards and one person says a word or phrase to describe one of their cards, then everyone puts in a card that might also be described by that word or phrase and everyone else has to guess which is the original card. Dixit works really well for our family because you don’t have to be able to read to play it. I also took a page out of Lauren’s book and instituted a rule that the winner cleans up after the game. I don’t know if it’s the rule or if the kids are getting better at not winning, but there have been fewer meltdowns when we have family game night now.

The 13 year old making dinner once a week – We’ve put the 13 year old in charge of making dinner once a week. She’s made dinner a few times, but not regularly. She’s able to make Mac and cheese (out of a box), breakfast sandwiches, pasta and meat balls, and oven fried chicken. I thought this was a good time for her to start expanding her skills by being regularly responsible for dinner, from planning to putting things on the grocery list to cooking. Last week, she made roasted salmon with potatoes and chimichurri sauce, and steamed green beans. I was in the kitchen talking her through every step of the way, but almost all the hands on stuff she did herself. I have this dream that eventually each child can be responsible for one night and then the Husband and I will only be responsible for 3 dinners a week (the fourth night is pizza and movie night.)

Labelling the Sheets – I keep the spare sheets in the bedrooms – ie each room has the sheets on the bed and one spare set in the closet. BUT they were kind of just on a shelf, in a jumbled mess. In the little kids’ room, especially, it was annoying because the 5 year old sleeps in the twin top bunk and the 8 year old sleeps in the full bottom bed. So when someone wets the bed at 2am, there is a lot of night time cursing and muttering as I pull out wrong sheet set after wrong sheet set. Well, I was determined to fix this and on our last trip to Ikea, I found these zip up storage bags. Now, each size of sheets has it’s own storage bag, AND I got out the label maker and labelled the bags. I love my label maker.

The new closer bus stop- I know this is the third week in a row I’ve mentioned the new bus stop, but it’s been such amazing shift for our routine. The 13 year old gets to shoot some hoops while waiting for the bus, the kids can have 15-30 minutes to play before coming home, and I get to walk down to meet them. Also it’s the first stop of the bus, so less likely to be delayed.

Well, those are some things that are making life a little less chaotic right now. Of course, I don’t know how things will be when I go back into rehearsal, but that is about a month away…

Grateful For:
-Little Free Libraries. There are a couple of Little Free Libraries that we pass by regularly that have some really desirable books. I’ve been amassing a collection. It might be a bit of a problem….

-That the kids are old enough to sort of clean the kitchen after dinner.

-That I learned how to touch type. I was painfully watching my kids hunt and peck the other day, and I had two thoughts – 1) how can the school them all Chromebooks and not teach them to touch type? And 2) I’m sure glad I can touch type so that I can type efficiently and without looking at my hands.

-Beautiful blue skies and fluffy clouds.

-leftovers for an easy dinner, plus more in the freezer for the future when life gets busy again.

-Bodies of water – the Potomac, the Chesapeake Bay, pools. There is something so relaxing about being on the water.

Looking Forward To:

-New glasses. I’d gotten glasses earlier this year and I was having a lot of trouble reading with them. They are progressives, but my last pair was too, so I couldn’t understand why everything I tried to read was blurry. I made and appointment for a re-check and the optomitrist determined that the part of the lenses that I am supposed to read through was too low. So a new pair of glasses are coming in a few weeks! I also ordered a new pair of sunglasses while I was there since my last pair is five years old and the lenses are quite scratched. I’m looking forward to being able to read text clearly again.

-Another new thing coming my way – a new laptop. If you remember my laptop died during tech week of my last show. The Husband has ordered me a new one and I’m excited to set it up and get to work. The old laptop top was at least five or six years old, which seems like it should last longer than that…?

-Tap dancing lessons!!!! I am so super excited for this one. The parent child tap lessons I signed up for start this week. I ordered a pair of tap shoes and they just arrived and I immediately tried them on and tapped around the house. I had zero clue what I was doing, but there is something so very satisfying about that tap tap tap sound.

-Starting the high school choice process with the 13 year old. Where we live, 8th graders can lottery into any one of 5 high schools in our general area and September/October is when all the schools have open houses and you can see what different programs are offered. If you home school is your first choice, you automatically get in. Though I just found out, if you don’t submit a form, you don’t necessarily get into your home school. I can’t even think about what the spreadsheets and what nots are for determining results. So okay, I’m not “looking forward” to this in the “can’t wait, I’m so excited!!!!” kind of way. It’s more like, “I have no idea what this process is like and I am eager for more information.” This is another reason I’m glad we pulled back on activities this Fall – there is at least one open house a week for the next four weeks.

-Chorus rehearsals. Work is slowly starting back up and the first big things I have to do are run chorus music rehearsals. These are the rehearsals where the chorus learns their music. It means I’ll be working evenings again, which is kind of a bummer, but I’m looking forward to seeing many familiar faces again.

What we ate– After a super busy summer, I’m really loving being able to dive into cooking dinner again, and having the time to sit and eat together as a family. (Another plus of less busy evenings.) Although now that I look at the week, I didn’t actually cook dinner all that much….

Tuesday: Pulled pork and coleslaw tacos. The pulled pork and coleslaw was leftover from the Husband’s smoking endeavor the day before.

Wednesday: I had pizza on a pirate ship. The rest of the family had breakfast sandwiches.

Thursday: Roasted Salmon and potatoes with chimichurri sauce and steamed green beans. This was the 13 year old’s night of cooking.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Glee. Because the 8 year old has soccer practice on Friday nights, we might go back to watching episodes of tv rather than a whole movie on Friday nights. Or maybe we’ll just watch shorter movies? TBD.

Saturday: Dinner at our friend’s house- she had a huge food spread – falafel and sausage and veggies and fruit. I brought two peach cobblers – a cardamon cobbler and a ginger buttermilk cobbler.

Sunday: Curry shrimp with peppers and cabbage, served with rice. This was a quick thrown together dinner from the cookbook Make This Tonight that I had borrowed from the library then lost and so I paid for it, but then we found the cook book in, of all places, the toy room closet (I’m a little salty about that – it’s a bit of a black hole) and so just decided to keep it. The recipes are pretty simple and straightforward, which is good for weeknight cooking. This curry shrimp was basically toss shrimp in curry powder, sauté peppers and onions (I added the cabbage myself), throw in shrimp and cook until they are done. Add more curry powder. Eat with rice.

Hope everyone had a lovely week – I feel like I’m posting a little later in the week than normal and the weekend is already here! The weekend is kind of packed for us, but all good things, I hope.

Any changes to systems or routines lately? Have you ever tap danced? What is your entry way/ landing strip like? Does your house have a black hole? What should the 13 year old learn to make next for dinner? Anyone else enjoy watching tennis speeches?

Weekly recap + what we ate: Back to School, Labor Day Weekend, and Moments not Mine

Beautiful skies and trees at the botanical gardens.

Hello from the other aide of Labor Day Weekend. We’ve turned the calendar to September and I feel like we now begin the new year in earnest- it’s a new school year and a new opera season. New activities beginning!

Sunday felt like the perfect end-of-summer day. We slept in – just late enough to feel luxurious, but not so late as to feel indolent. Which for us is 7:30/8am. Then I decided that I wanted to have special breakfast, so I made waffles. I usually make the buttermilk waffles from King Arthur Flour Baking Companion, only this time the 5 year old wanted me to put rainbow sprinkles in them, and I also made a blueberry waffle. I’d never put add ins in my waffles before, so I didn’t know how it would turn out – they turned out great.

After breakfast, we went to the farmer’s market. I biked with the 8 year old while the Husband and the other two kids took the metro. I was really impressed by the 8 year old – the bike ride is the same one I take to work. It’s about five miles and there is a big hill at the end. I often have to walk my bike up that hill, but the 8 year old put his bike in a low gear and kept pedaling up the hill. He did rest once, but then kept going. I’m loving how much he’s loving his bike. One vent, though, is that right before the big hill, is a stop light so ideally you get a green light and can accelerate through the light on a higher gear and get some momentum up the hill. Only you know those Lime Bikes? They’re those bike share e-bikes that you can find randomly around. Well, someone had left a Lime Bike in the middle of the sidewalk on the other side of the stop light. So we had to stop and any momentum we got coming out of the stop light was lost. I got SO MAD. I might have not too gently pushed the Lime Bike over and dragged it off the sidewalk. Sooooo annoying.

Anyhow, despite that we got to the Farmer’s Market where we bought vegetables (peppers, cucumbers, spinach, potatoes) and peaches and nectarines. There was not a huge peach sale this time, so we did not come home with a $25 crate of peaches. After the market, we all took the metro home. The ride was a little odd because we ran into the 13 year old’s math teacher, which it’s always a little awkward seeing one’s teachers out in the wild.

We spent the rest of the afternoon just hanging out in the backyard. The Husband was finally setting up the smoker that he had gotten a few months ago. Setting up the smoker involved cooking two pounds of bacon. “What are we going to do with two lbs of bacon?” I asked the Husband.

Apparently we were just going to eat it. The Husband doesn’t eat bacon, but the other four of us – we polished off that two lbs in less than an hour. It was tasty. No regrets there. Yet.

It was such a nice chill afternoon in the backyard. We planned the 5 year old’s upcoming birthday party. We talked to the 8 year old about some upcoming activity plans. I played a bit of soccer with the 8 year old backyard. I finished a book and flipped through the first few pages of a few options for my next read. I think if you had told me that I was going to spend three hours in my backyard reading and “life-ing”, I would have kind of thought, “What a waste of time. Shouldn’t I go organize my desk or something like that?” But you know what? It was just perfect. I guess this is what people do with weekends when they don’t have to rush off to activities or work.

Oh and then after that, we had a family cuddle session on the 13 year old’s bed. She had put “Family hug” on the calendar during the previous day’s family meeting. The Husband pointed out that we could hug for longer if we were on a bed, so we all piled into her bed and had an hour of cuddle time. Well I guess the Husband, the 13 year old, and I cuddled. The 5 year old and the 8 year old climbed all over us. It wasn’t relaxing, per se, but it was nice bonding time. Then I got up, and made dinner.

After dinner, I took the two little kids to the pool for one final raft night. Our pool closes on Labor Day, and since we had plans for Monday, if we wanted to get one last swim in, Sunday was the day. The pool was a little chilly, but we soon got used to it. Plus we had our inflatable rings, so we just floated along and enjoyed the sky and clouds.

The 8 year old took this picture at the pool because he said the sky was beautiful.

When I look back on Sunday, I think, “I would never have planned a day like that. But it was perfect.”

Which was nice because to be honest, the day before was kind of a disaster. We tried to go find a dresser for the 13 year old, driving all the way to Virginia because that is where the folks on Reddit say the best furniture stores in teh area are. Virginia is terrible to drive to/drive in. We looked at lots of furniture but couldn’t decide on what to get. Turns out we have a fundamental difference in overall vision for the 13 year old’s room, basically the disagreement is piece meal furniture vs. bedroom set. (And the 13 year old didn’t really care which way to go.) Most of our furniture in the house was obtained piecemeal, and one of us thought that maybe if we were going to buy one thing for the 13 year old’s room, we should buy a whole set since she didn’t really have a bed and was sleeping on a futon mattress. We spent thirty minutes in the furniture store disagreeing about set vs. piecemeal and finally left without buying anything.

We then tried to go to the really cool and tasty Vietnamese shopping center for lunch, but the parking lot was kind of a madhouse so we abandoned that. People in the van got hungry, then cranky so we ended up at a Laotian restaurant, though that required driving through more confusing traffic patterns. The GPS said it was 0.5 miles away. It was only a short distance away in miles, but it was miles in frustration. So all in all, not a great excursion. (But the food was really good – the crispy tofu lettuce wraps were divine.) I think we are scarred and likely won’t be going deep into the Virginia suburbs again for a long long long long time. (Apologies to any Virginia readers. I’m sure you feel the same way about driving in Maryland.)

All to say, after that disaster of a half day on Saturday, Sunday was everything I needed a long weekend day to be.

Labor Day Monday was our annual trip to the Renaissance Festival. The weather was gorgeous – the past couple of years it has been unbearably hot on Labor Day weekend, which makes the Ren Faire a little bit harder to navigate. But this year, the weather was high 70s, sunny with a breeze, and downright cool in the shade. That might account for the high volume of people going. The traffic was terrible. It usually takes us 40-50 minutes to get to the Faire. This year it took us 90 minutes. I’ve never seen it that bad. So we didn’t get through the gates until nearly 11:00am. (Our friends who were meeting us there took three hours to get there and they only live two miles from us.) I was probably the only one worried about not getting to the Faire right when it opened. The kids were happy in a slow moving van as long as they could put on KPop Demon Hunters and Broadway Show Tunes and sing along at the top of their lungs. I might have joined in.

Once we got to Revel Grove itself, we had a great time. The Ren Faire is such a multi-faceted event. You have all the shows and entertainment, you have the shopping, the eating, there’s the pirate ship playground, and games, and you also have the fun pageantry and people watching. It’s kind of like being in the middle of a parade, what with all the costumes that people were wearing. My favorite costumes I saw this year were the two people dressed up as Galinda and Elphaba, and also a stately older lady in this beautiful golden brocade gown with a headdress that had protruding spikes, as if she were the sun. It was pretty spectacular. The 13 year old’s favorite costume was the guy we saw dressed as Waldo from “Where’s Waldo”.

We saw all the familiar shows, including a 20 minute Macbeth. We saw the jousting. We ate turkey legs and other fried food. We let the kids play at the playground. The kids went through the maze and shot toy crossbows. The 5 year old was finally old enough to do the climbing wall, which she climbed with such ease. Next year she will have to do the “Medium hard” wall, I think. We listened to bagpipes and drums, the music so loud and rhythmic that you could feel the benches vibrate and the music under your skin. Going to the Ren Faire feels so familiar – I feel like we have a good routine and pace for how we tackle the day. I almost worry that we are in a Rem Faire rut, and I think next year we should go see at least a few new to us Acts and maybe try some new foods. I’ve started keeping a list of foods that go over like a lead balloon – so far on the list are the fried green beans (meh, so very much meh) and the apple dumplings (waaay too messy to eat while standing up or taking in a show.)

Leading up to Labor Day, though, was the first week of school. Monday was a “Transition Day” for kindergarteners (also 6th and 9th graders), so the older two kids were off school. After walking the 5 year old to school, we went to the Botanical Gardens and met up with some friends for a walk. In the afternoon, the 13 year old then had a voice lesson via Zoom, and we went to the 8 year old’s open house. The 13 year old did not have an open house. I guess at a certain point, they just expect you to show up at school and figure it out.

Then on Tuesday, everyone went back to school. Yay! I am so excited for the new school year, the new teachers, the new friends, and new routines. Everyone seemed to have a good first week of school. The 5 year old is excited to go every day, though she says they sit a lot. The 8 year old seems to like his teacher and the 13 year old – well, I think she likes the independence that she has at school.

Obligatory First Day of School picture. I don’t do first day signs though I love the idea. The 13 year old leaves for school an hour and half before the other two so I was lucky just to have everyone dressed to be in a first day picture together.

Fun fact – the 5 year old wore the same dress that her big sister wore to her first day of kindergarten. We even sort of recreated the picture from eight years ago:

I was thinking recently about how life with little kids seemed/ seems interminable for me. I look at the 5 year old and, also to some extent the 8 year old and think, “How are you still so young? It seems as if you’ve been little forever.” I wouldn’t wish the years away, but it does seem as if we’ve been in the “parenting littles” phase for such. a. long. time.

But, at the opposite end, with the 13 year old, time is flying. I am so acutely aware of (and completely unprepared for) the fact that she will go to high school next year; that two year (and change) from now she will be learning how to drive; that the years we have with her at home are fewer and fewer. We now have more years behind us than in front of us with her at home. (Unless she lives at home for college, which is actually a very real possibility. But that’s a future thing…)

Time passes simultaneously quickly and slowly when I look at my children. Sometimes it feels as if I’m living on two different timelines, parallel yet not quite concurrent. I was thinking that this slight dissonance is because as kids grow older, I’m getting fewer and fewer pieces of them. When kids are little, they are all ours – there is so much of them, a surfeit of responsibility, care, attention. When they are first born, they are with us 24/7. And even in the early years, they are either at school/daycare or with a parent. We take them to school, we feed them their meals, we take them to activities, even participating in those activities with them. Time with them moves slowly because there is so much of it.

But as they grow older and need us less and less, they also give us less and less. The 13 year old still wants time to cuddle and watch New Girl, but these days she also wants time alone. And coupled with all the time she spends at school, at basketball, at various lessons and activities, most of which she gets herself to and from – well, my time with her is just pockets. There is less of it – which is why, I think time with her goes much faster; there is just so little of it on a day to day basis. There’s a sense of time scarcity with the 13 year old that I don’t have with the younger kids. It’s not just that the years are fewer, but also that the moments are fewer. And on top that, the moments are no longer mine.

So here’s to savoring those moments I do get to share with her, and also letting her have her own moments as she becomes her own person.

Grateful For:

– Summer evenings with just the right amount of chill and light to remind me to savor the moments before winter is upon us.

-The Lenten Book Group and my friend who invited me to join two years ago. We had a meeting last week where we talked about Mary and Martha, and the Good Samaritan. I’ve always, to be quite honest, been bothered by the story of Mary and Martha. (Cliff Notes: Jesus comes to teach at Martha’s house and her sister Mary sits at his feet and listens while Martha works to prepare the house, serve the food, etc. Martha gets resentful and asks Jesus to make Mary help her, but Jesus says that what Mary is doing is important too.) We had a great discussion about actions being the manifestation of love, but also how sometimes just putting things down and listening is important too.

-School bus drivers, teachers, principals, and school administrators. Bless them all.

-A new bus route. We have switched the two elementary school kids to a different afternoon bus route that drops the kids by 4:15pm to a stop that is next to a park and walking distance from home. This bus was always an option, but in past years it didn’t drop off until close to 5pm. They’ve streamlined the bus routes this year, and while some parents are upset, it works out better for us. I’ll miss our friends at the old bus stop, but this new stop is so much better for life – the kids get off the bus sooner, and I can even can go to the playground for 20 minutes and still get home in time to make dinner. Also, the 13 year old can go down to the bus stop and shoot baskets while waiting for the kids and then walk them home. Anything we can do to minimize time in the car is a plus for me.

-Metro workers. On the train home from the Farmer’s Market, a man on our train car collapsed out of his seat. I went over to see if he needed help and he seemed a little incoherent, which was a little concerning. We had to get off at the next stop, so I told the Metro conductor, and I think he called for help because a police car and fire truck pulled up as we were leaving the station. I’m so grateful that there are people to help in those situations because I really felt out of my depths.

– The plethora of Ethiopian markets nearby where I can readily get injera. I had some time to kill between errands one day and realized I was in walking distance of two Ethiopian stores, so I stopped by one to pick up some injera. I love the stuff and can eat a whole package by myself. I hear it’s complicated to make, so I’m am grateful I don’t have to make it myself.

-This belt bag that I got as a hand me down from my cousin. I never thought I’d be a belt bag person, but it perfectly fits my phone, wallet, keys, and sunglasses, which makes it so handy when I’m out on my bike or am just running a quick errand, or to stuff in the swim bag. Hand me downs for the win!

Looking forward to:
-going to our friend’s house out in Southern Maryland. She’s closing her pool for the season soon and invited us up for one last swim. I’ll be making that peach cobbler again.

-Lunch and happy hours with friends. I tend to fill my social calendar up when I’m not working because my evenings and weekends get very packed when I am working. So I have lots of meet ups scheduled in the next couple of weeks.

-Riding bikes to school. This is a “Looking forward to” that is at least a year out. The 8 year old and I rode our bikes to his 3rd grade open house. It took just 15 minutes to get to school (though it took 8 minutes to find a bike rack and lock up the bikes…), and there is a trail almost all the way there. There is one major road to cross, but it has a traffic light there and lots of other foot traffic, so it’s not dangerous. I would feel pretty safe letting the kids ride their bikes the 2.3 miles to school. Right now, the limiting factor is the 5 year old doesn’t ride a bike yet, but once she figures it out, I can totally see the two of them biking to school together, and myself going with them sometimes. Their school is actually half way to my work, so it would be a convenient family commute.

-Back to School Night for the Elementary school kids. The middle school BTSN was last week (on the third day of school!) and that one was a lot of fun – we got to follow our 13 year old’s schedule and go from class to class. Being able to walk her paths gave me a lot of insight into how chaotic her days are.

-Fall cooking projects: I’ve decided that I’m going to try to make dosa from scratch this fall. Also I never got around to making Japanese milk bread and that is still on my list. And the 8 year old wants to make tang hulu (Sugar coated strawberries) since he missed out when we made it earlier this summer. I’m kind of leaning into the idea of having some good homemade snacks for when the kids get home from school.

-Reading this book:

Set near Johannesburg, it’s one of the books I had picked up to read while in South Africa, but I ended up not bringing it on the trip. This novel tells the story of a 10 year old white girl and a Xhosa widow whose lives intersect in a tragic way.

What We Ate:

Monday: Tomato and Zucchini Tart and Cucumber Avocado Salad. Really leaning into the summer produce for this meal. The Tart was super simple – pre-made pastry dough, covered with a mixture of cream cheese and mustard blended together, and covered with sliced tomato and zucchini. The cucumber avocado salad, was inspired by Julie, though not the exact of the one she posted.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday! Shrimp and chicken tacos, made on the grill. I had a jar of green salsa of indeterminate origins so I used that to marinate the chicken. The family devoured this. I made 1 lb of shrimp and 2 lbs of chicken and it was all inhaled. I felt bad because we had a friend coming for dinner and she was running late so I fed the kids first and our friend only got two tacos because that’s all that was left. Oh, and for dessert I made peach cobbler, recipe from the NY Times. I’ve never made a peach cobbler before – friends! cobbler is SO fast and easy! And delicious! Will make again. (And I’m going to – see above about visiting our friend in southern Maryland.)

Wednesday: Dinner at Ikea as we went on our mission for a dresser for the 13 year old. The mission was a fail. But the meatballs were tasty.

Thursday: Meera Sodha’s Green Pasta – Trying to use up all the basil in our yard. I really like this pasta – you blend blanched spinach, basil, parsley, lemon juice, silken tofu and nutritional yeast into a creamy savory sauce for pasta. Then you top it with this olive/lemon/olive oil mixture. Well I did – the rest of family doesn’t care for olives. Vegan.

Friday: Pizza (carry out) and Dodge Ball. The 13 year old originally wanted to watch Forest Gump, but then realized it’s actually kind of a downer of a movie plus it’s kind of long, so she picked Dodge Ball instead. Which… I have to say, some of it is still hilarious (“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!”), but a lot of it is sexist, homo-phobic, body-shaming frat boy humor that hasn’t aged well for me. The kids liked it, but I gave a lot of disclaimers as we went along.

Saturday: The little kids and I went to a birthday party where there was pizza, snacks, and a cookie cake. The Husband and 13 year old went out for cheesesteaks. I was still hungry when I came home so I had angel hair pasta with the leftover olive oil/lemon/olive mixture from Thursday night.

Sunday: Sweet and sour eggplant with garlic chips, served with rice. Recipe from NY Times Cooking. Easy stir fry with the sweetest, silkiest Japanese Eggplant from the farmer’s market. I also added green beans and carrots since I realized that recipes that say “2-4 servings” won’t feed our family. Vegan.

Monday: Smoked pork sandwiches with Coleslaw. The Husband’s first smoking project was a delicious success. I’m not sure if he will become one of those guys who tries to smoke everything and spends all weekend with his smoker. From what he described to me, smoking meat is a combination of leisurely hands off and attending to the temperature of the smoker as if it were a colicky baby.

Hope you all have a lovely start to September.

What parts of life seem interminable to you? What parts seem to go quickly? Are you team furniture set or team piecemeal furniture? Any fun cooking projects lately? Have you ever made dosa from scratch? Any favorite movies from your youth that haven’t aged well for you?