hallowe'en – Life Off Headset

Weekly recap + what we ate: September Review/October Aspirations

I was feeling kind of “meh” about September. We had a big goal of doing a lot of decluttering, but we had one major win (the attic), and one kind of fail (the toy room.) We have a plan for the foyer to manage our shoes and socks and drop zones, but it requires ordering new shoe storage. I’m excited about the shoe storage that we have picked out, but it is pricy, so I’m not sure when we’ll order it. And then on top of it all, the start of school and activities just feels overwhelming – totally my own doing, of course, but it’s stressful.

But when I went to journal about my September, I found there were some highlights tucked in there.

September Highlights:
– My parents came to visit.
-The youngest kid turned five!!! We had cake at home and also a birthday party for her with friends at the small local aquarium.
-The kids and I went to the Renaissance Faire. It was so much fun. I’m glad we went early because it’s been sold out for the rest of the season since mid September.
-Going through the attic and throwing out/donating/ passing along so much stuff. The space that this has opened up is amazing.
-Family Game Night. A wonderful, quieter alternative to big adventures.
-Discovered some tasty food near us – a Balkan restaurant and an Indonesian one.
-The County’s Friendship picnic – tasty falafel and bounce houses.
-On the work front – working a corporate gig (a new to me experience), and doing super titles for a Vocal Recital (familiar gig, nice to return to).
-We found out that the 12 year old got into the children’s chorus for the holiday opera that I’m working on. She was so excited. I took this picture of her reading the offer:

September Lowlights – funny how many of these lowlights are tied to the highlights:
-Trying to figure out the logistics of getting the 12 year old to opera rehearsals. Rehearsals start at 4pm, and that’s kind of a logistical nightmare. She doesn’t start until November, but it’s causing a lot of stress.
-My parents came to visit, but I barely saw them because I was working most nights that they were here.
– Not managing to work through the toy room declutter.
-Not having a chance to go on any hikes or visit any museums all month. This might be the first month all year where I didn’t fit in either a hike or a museum visit.

October Aspirations:
Okay, I had written a big long list for October aspirations, but I think I’ll just whittle it down to a few essentials:
– Survive our schedule, making sure everyone stays fed, rested, and gets where they are scheduled to be. In addition to the kids’ usual activities, the 7 year old is going to be a supernumerary (non-speaking extra) in the opera I’m working on. I might regret signing him up – it will be several late nights and will take thoughtful logistics, but he’s excited to do it, and I’m excited to have him in the show.
-Hallowe’en. I think we have costumes sorted out. I need to make them, but I’ve penciled costume work days into my calendar.
– Another effort on the toy room purge.
-VOTE. This is a big one. Early voting starts in ten days. If I don’t do anything else, I need to do this.
-Remember to hug the Husband and children every day.
-Daily time outside. Even the low bar of the Cool Bloggers Walking Club seems high to me right now, but here’s a reminder to step outside and breath the fall air every day.
-I had a bunch of other aspirations written down – the perpetual “get rid of car” project, planning for our Asia Trip, hike, museum, exercise, no-spend month, social plans… I think those are going on the “really, maybe, probably not this month” list. I’m setting expectations low here.

Other Things This Week:
-Contra-dancing! The Husband suggested we go contra-dancing this week. There is a new-ish contra dance about two miles down the road from us on the second Thursday of the month. The Husband and I met contra-dancing and we used to go several times a month. In our area you used to be able to go to a contra dance on Friday Nights and Sunday nights, and if you were willing to drive to Baltimore, you could also go to one on Saturday nights as well. It’s a pretty popular activity here. The Sunday night dance no longer runs now, thanks COVID. And we also haven’t been for a while, thanks, kids. I don’t think we’ve been since before the 7 year old could walk. Anyhow, the Husband told me about this Thursday night dance and we went, taking all the kids, and we all had such a great time. The music was amazing, the people friendly. There were several people that remembered us from when we used to attend the dance regularly. I laughed, I spun really fast, I moved my feet to the music, I swung my kids around, I made small talk with nice people. It was a really great time.

Blurry screen capture from video the 12 year old took of the Husband and me.

-Good talk with a teacher – One of the kids has been struggling in school so we set up a meeting with the teacher to talk about strategies. I’ve always been a little hands off with my kids’ schools, but this year, I’m realizing that there is a an element of collaboration that is needed – teachers and administrators want to know when kids are struggling, and it’s better to ask the questions rather than assume things will work out. I’ve always felt bad about emailing teachers about issues, and taking their time, but I’m seeing that there is a time and a tone for these communications, especially in the elementary/middle school years. I’m sure high school is a whole different ball game.

-Matching Overalls! We went to Duluth Trading Company on Saturday – the Husband needed some new shirts and pants. I’m doing a casual, no-pressure Buy Nothing month (inspired by Stephany!), so I didn’t buy anything for myself, but I did try on some jeans and they weren’t terrible. I might buy myself a pair in November. I haven’t worn jeans in two years and it’s hard to go back, but they are a really versatile piece of clothing and good for running around backstage. So I will marinate on that. But in the mean time, I couldn’t resist picking up a pair of overalls for the 5 year old. They have a super cute fox print pattern on them. And… the overalls come in adult sizes as well. The 12 year old and I both tried them on together. I was sooooo tempted to buy us all matching overalls, but they are on the pricy side and the 12 year old found a pair of ivory corduroy overalls she liked better, and I decided to resist the temptation and stick to my “no buy” intentions. But look how cute we all are!

-We finally finished watching a TV series! This is very rare for us – we often peter out of energy when watching something together, or if I’m watching something on my own, I am often reluctant to watch the series finale because I don’t want the show to end (I’m looking at you, This is Us). We watched the last episode of Ted Lasso over the weekend. (Though there are rumors of a Season 4…?). The last episode was predictably sentimental and heart-tugging to the point of manipulative, but I kind of loved it. I feel like it’s not “cool” to wear your emotions on your sleeve anymore – there is so much television about people being mean to each other, or being irrevocably lonely, or trying to get ahead, or having terrible things happen, and blood and sex and gore and ironic wise assery. And Ted Lasso’s big hearted optimism is the antidote to that. This last season – sure it was predictable and it seemed like they were box checking plot points, but dammit if there weren’t some genuinely touching moments and I might have been a little teary eyed.

-Bored and Brilliant Challenge. As I mentioned in the last post, I’m trying to work my way through the Bored and Brilliant Challenge – six challenges put together by the podcast New Tech City/ Note to Self in 2015 to help one re-set phone habits. The first challenge was to keep your phone in your pocket (or your bag) when you are in transit. As part of the episode, the host sat on a New York City street and counted how many people walking by were interacting with their phone. Of the 1000 people she counted, 30% of people were interacting with their phones, which actually seems low to me – but the episode was from 2015, so maybe people were less attached to their phones nine years ago? At any rate, one of the main points of this first challenge is how even when you don’t look at your phone, even having it out is a distraction and keeps you from truly connecting – with others, with your surroundings, with yourself.
I’ve been doing this “phone in pocket” challenge, and at the beginning I noticed that I would, out of habit, pull my phone out after work as I walked to my car. This wasn’t great, especially since I often left work late at night when it was dark out. But it was also something that I wasn’t even thinking about. What was interesting to me about this challenge, too, is that one would think that a behavior that requires effort (pulling out one’s phone) comes against more friction than something that requires no effort (leaving the phone in my bag). But that itch to check my phone – the discomfort of being bored – clearly was winning out over the inertia of leaving the phone in my bag. So when I started finding myself reaching for my phone while walking or in the car or wanting to take it with me when I walked down the hall to talk to someone at work, I tried to acknowledge the discomfort of being bored, the urge of wanting to be entertained, and sat with that a little bit. Like seriously, what is so boring about walking to the car that I feel like I need to be looking at my phone? I’m sure there are scientific studies that look at how the brain processes content from the phone vs. other inputs. Maybe this “challenge” will just become a habit.

Challenge #2 is to have a Photo Free Day, where you don’t use your phone yo take any pictures for a whole day. I do like to take pictures to remember things, and capture moments. Will report back on how this challenge goes.

Grateful For:
-Walking trails to school. Twice last week, I drove the 7 year old and his friend to school. The first time, was because we missed the bus, so I drove and parked along the trail that goes to the school and we walked the rest of the way – I kind of loathe sitting in the carpool line and thought this would be nicer. The 7 year old said to me, “It’s nice to start the day with a walk!” So on Friday, I asked if he wanted to walk to school again, and he did, so we once again parked on the trail and walked up to the school. I’m grateful that for living in a pretty urban suburb, there are still lots of ways to walk.

-Being home for dinner. Opera season is starting for me, which means a lot of nights and weekends. I’m grateful when I get the evening off and can be home for dinner. I love family dinners.

-Parks and playgrounds. On Saturday, the 12 year old had a birthday party. It was about 25-30 minutes away from home, and we didn’t think it would be efficient to drop off then return, so we took the opportunity to go grocery shopping and to take the two little kids to a playground. I feel so lucky that there are so many parks and playgrounds in our area. You can often find one (or two or three) within a 10 or 15 minute drive of wherever you are in our part of our county. So if ever we need to kill some time, going to a playground is usually a good solution. I’m also grateful that the kids still like playgrounds.

-Not quite getting rid of my car yet. Our van had to go into the shop and we were down one car for a week, so I ended up driving my 20 year old car while my husband drove the Impreza until the van was fixed. I know we are lucky to have three cars for situations like this – even if one car is 12 years old and the other car is 20 years old. Part of me thinks, maybe we don’t need to get rid of my car – it’s good to have an extra car for instances like this. But it is silly and expensive and hard to justify keeping a third car for emergencies when we live a 10 minute walk to public transportation.

Looking forward to:
-Hallowe’en. I’m not working on Hallowe’en this year, so I get to take the kids trick or treating. The costumes have all been chosen. There were some last minute changes, but I stuck firm that I wasn’t making different Hallowe’en costumes, so any changes had to be able to be sourced/purchased.

-Starting rehearsals. We’ve been prepping for the start of rehearsals. It’s always exciting to learn a new score and wrap my brain around new sets and costumes (well, new to me – the costumes are rented and the set takes parts of previous shows and uses them together). At a certain point, however, I am itching to move from the show being in my head to see how it is going to get up on its feet, to see what the singers and creative team is like, to hear the music sung by real live people.

-Soup Party! I’ve organized a soup party for my department at work. I’m excited – and the weather is just starting to turn chilly enough for soup weather. I think I’ll make Chinese corn soup – it’s easy to put together and very tasty. Not sure if I’ll make it vegan (tofu instead of eggs).

-Just started these two books:

In busy seasons, I try to find books that are fun to read and engagingly written right off the bat, and these two books are that, in very different ways. One is about navigating puberty- it gives the science behind the changes that happen and also gives ideas on how to kids about the changes in a wonderfully non-judgmental way.. The other book is a love story that straddles two eras.

What We Ate:
Monday: Pasta Salad. Made before I went to work in the afternoon. Jenny Rosenstrach’s marinated beans, pasta, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers. Vegan.

Tuesday: Soba and herb salad with roasted eggplants and plums. This was simpler than it sounds, but boy was it tasty. I ate it for leftovers the rest of the week. Vegan.

Wednesday: Leftover pizza from the 5 year old’s birthday party.

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: pizza (take out) and Glee

Saturday: The 12 year old was at a birthday party. The husband and I weren’t terribly hungry after a big lunch, so we didn’t eat, but we did buy the two little kids a sandwich to split from the grocery store.

Sunday: Leftovers for me. Yogurt with berries and honey. Toast (again) – PB&J on English muffins for one kid, melted cheese on English muffins for the other kid. Cut up veggies on the side.

How is your October going so far?

Weekly recap + what we ate: Halloween and Opening Night

Another show opened! Yay. That feeling of relief and achievement and being able to get back to the rest of life.

Through the brilliance of opera scheduling, we had Halloween night off from rehearsals and performances. I took the kids over to a friend’s house to trick or treat since our own street is pretty quiet. The Husband stayed home to pass out candy, though I don’t think we had anyone come to our door. He’d been solo parenting in the evening for over a week now and thoroughly deserved a night to himself.

I only got one picture of the kids in their Hallowe’en Costumes:

Back in August, I had told all the kids that if they wanted me to make their costumes, the designs had to be in by the end of September since I would be in tech the week before Hallowe’en and unavailable for costume construction. The oldest wanted to be “The Taylor Swift House.” Which was not a reference I understood. To which her response was, “Why can’t you just Google it yourself!?!?!” There was probably an eye roll in there as well. At any rate, I’m sure I could have Googled it, but I wasn’t going to put effort into it if she wasn’t going to, so I left her to her own devices. Then a couple days before Hallowe’en – she woke me up on morning waving a piece of paper, saying, “I’ve designed a house!” She decided just to be a house. Of course it was the weekend before Hallowe’en, and not on my to do list. The Husband went out and bought her two pieces of plastic sheeting and a bunch of markers and she made the costume herself. I wish I got a picture of the back because the rooms she drew were amazingly detailed. I did attach the straps for her, though if I were to do it again, I would not use hot glue. The hot glue did not hold and half way through the evening, the straps came off and she just held the costume up for the remainder of the evening.

The 6 year old wanted to be a builder. I was initially going to make him a cardboard truck to be part of his costume, but then I saw Kiwi Co. makes kits where you can make an excavator arm – a working excavator arm – and attach it to a box. Well, that was much cooler than anything I could make on my own, so I ordered the kit. The morning of our first orchestra tech rehearsal, I got up at 6am to put together this cardboard excavator arm with the “help” of the children before going into work. You know when you roll into work at 10:30am and everyone else looks like they just got out of bed and are saying how tired they are and how early they had to get up to get to the theatre by 10:30am, and you don’t want to say anything because there is no competitive suffering in opera, but really you were up at 6am making a freaking cardboard excavator so they can all shove it, but you don’t really say that… ? Just me? Never mind. Anyhow, the excavator arm was every bit as cool as I had hoped.

The 4 year old made it easy and just pulled the astronaut suit from the dress up clothes and called it a day. It was brilliant because she could also wear the NASA bomber jacket that my father had given the 6 year old, and was toasty warm all evening. Or would have been except at one point she declared that she was hot and took it off.

It actually turned out quite chilly on Thanksgiving. This after a weekend of 75/80 degree weather. I think the cold discouraged people from staying out very long. By the time 8pm rolled around, the streets were pretty empty. We went back to my friend’s house, where we had some turkey chili and minestrone soup for dinner and the kids traded candy. Then I took the kids home and we watched It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown with the Husband while we sorted the candy. By “we” I really meant “me.” The little kids didn’t quite understand the joy of candy sorting. An added bonus of the candy sorting was that I used it as an opportunity to combine the two little kids’ candy and then let them pick 30 pieces to eat and there was no jealous cries of “That’s my candy!” The rest of their candy, I put in a bag and set aside. By which I mean, I set aside so I can eat it myself. I feel like I can probably get away with taking all my kids’ candy for another year or so before they wise up and realize that I’m doing that. Case in point, the 11 year old who would not let me near her candy and sorted her piles on the other side of the room.

One thing I love is that the 11 year old always gives her 100 Grands to the Husband. In fact, if she ever is given the option to choose candy from a bowl and there is a 100 Grand, she will almost always choose that one, “For daddy,” she says.

The day after Hallowe’en was a day off of school for the two kids in public school. I think it was just a fluke of scheduling; it was an end of quarter grading day for the teachers. Fluke though it might have been, it was kind of brilliant. The kids could stay up late the night before and sleep in the next day. Only they couldn’t sleep in because the day after Hallowe’en was a Wednesday and the kids have back to back piano lessons starting at 7:15am on Wednesday. Gotta admit that was a tough lesson to get them to. If i had had more foresight, I probably would have cancelled for the week, but I am very much a slave to scheduled routines and didn’t even think about cancelling. But after that, the kids got to lounge around the house the rest of the day while the Husband worked from home and I went to rehearsal.

After rehearsal on that Wednesday, I took the 11 year old to participate in a study at the nearby University. When she was a couple months old, I saw a flyer for the University’s Child Development Center saying they needed babies and children to participate in studies. I wasn’t working at the time, so I thought it would be fun to do, and for the first few years of our kids’ lives we participated in three or four studies a year. Some of them paid, some of them didn’t but I always thought it fascinating to go to them. I think one of my favorite studies is the one from Gallaudet University which centered around a robot they were making that could communicate with deaf people – they wanted both hearing and hearing impaired babies to interact with the robot. When the youngest was four months old, I signed up for a study that involved putting her in an MRI machine – that one was kind of a disaster because we had to go during her bedtime so they could swaddle her and cover her ears to go into the machine while asleep, but she kept waking up once in the MRI machine and so we eventually gave up on that one. Anyhow, when people ask for things to do with one’s baby, I always suggest participating in research studies as a fun way to get out of the house.

The 11 year old had been feeling left out because her younger siblings were always being asked to be in studies, but she wasn’t. I don’t know if it’s because there are fewer people researching preteens? Or just in our area? So when an opportunity for a study for children 8-12, I signed up the eleven year old to go. It was a study about mother child interactions and anxiety and involved filling out a survey prior to the lab visit and then the lab visit where we wore eye trackers while participating in simulated conversations based on topics the researchers prompted. The study visit took 90 minutes and at the end we were $50 richer and the 11 year old got some sparkly gel pens. Afterwards I took her out for BBQ, which was nice because I’ve been feeling like we haven’t been getting a lot of mother-daughter time.

Random musings:

I just spent $80 on pads and hair ties for myself and my daughters. Now I know that pads and hair ties are not solely the domain of women/girls, but given that the majority of people who menstruate and/or have long hair seem to be female, I feel like I was just hit with some kind of penalty for being female and having daughters. I guess, men get their hair cut more so have to pay that expense more often? But in truth, my Husband’s hair cut costs about a quarter on mine, so it doesn’t seem to even out at all.

Also- Daylight Saving Time after Opening Night seems like a good idea. I got to feel like I slept in on Sunday morning. I had all sorts of thoughts as to what I would want to do with my gained hour. It involved aspirations of reading, and journaling and yoga. Yeah nope. In reality it just involved sleep. of course I didn’t get home until nearly 2am after the opening night party, so sleep would seem to be the best use of my gained hour.

I came home one day to find this in our yard:

A new tree! Earlier this year the county had taken down a tree in front of our house because it was not quite alive and also because it posed a hazard to the electrical lines above. I guess they have now replaced the tree. I’m not even sure what kind of tree it is, but it’s kind of exciting to have a new tree, to think about how big it will get. To wonder if it too will one day be cut down because it is growing into the power lines, or if by then all the powerlines will be underground…

More Fall Fashion:
I’ve posted before on how much I love dressing for fall, so I thought I’d do another mini fall fashion post. One day, I put on this outfit:

The 11 year old took this picture and was very specific that my hand had to be on the doorknob.

The outfit is a grey plaid flannel button down from Uniqlo, a dress from Wool&, black leggings, the “not for Amsterdam” blue boots, and a knit hat that was a present from my sister in law. The Wool& dress I bought this year and it quickly became one of my most worn garments – I’ve worn it at least twice a week since April. It’s not a terribly interesting dress, but it layers well and can be worn in many different combinations. Anyhow, I put on this outfit and the six year old said, “You look like a teenager.” Not at all sure what that means.

So I added my favorite and ubiquitous Uniqlo puffer vest:

And the six year old said, “Now you look like a mom!” Hmmm…. When I first got my puffer vest six or seven years ago, I did kind of feel like I was falling into a suburban mom cliche, but… but but… it is such a practical piece of clothing – keeps me warm without being bulky, and I can throw it on over anything. I might look like a mom cliche, but at least I’m not cold.

(On an incidental note – you see all that wood paneling? That is in our foyer. This wood paneling is 85% of my living room window treatment dilemma. I would love to have natural woven or bamboo blinds in the living room. But the living room is directly off of this foyer and I just can’t picture whether or not having bamboo blinds will clash with all that wood paneling in the foyer. Like whether or not the vintage/mid century vibe of the foyer needs to dictate the window treatment of the living room and whether bamboo blinds are too beachy for the vibe our foyer gives off…. this is something I’ve been pondering for over a year now. Opinions welcome.)

Grateful for:
– The Assistant Stage Managers, who are my eyes on stage and backstage when I’m too busy calling cues to look up, and the Assistant Director who, for me, is the real soul of this show. Getting to opening always is the work of many and having good ASMs and a great AD to share an office with is foundational to me getting where the show needs to go.

-The Husband, as always, for holding down the fort. For making dinner, picking up the kids, putting them to bed, laundry, keeping the house clean… all of it. Tech week is always a lot of hours away from home, but this fall, seems harder than normal. I think I’m still trying to balance some new responsibilities at work with the parts of the job I’ve always done and I haven’t quite figured out how to spread my time yet so I’m at work a lot more and I’m bringing home work to do a lot more than I used to. It’s been rough. There will never be a tech week where I’m not grateful for the Husband, but this tech period, I feel like has been particularly demanding.

– Bike store by work. Two weeks ago, I had ridden my bike to work and ended up leaving it there because it was dark when I got off work and I don’t have lights for the bike. Well, I finally went back to pick it up on my day off last week only to find the front tire had gotten flat. This was super discouraging because I had decided not to go running that morning because I knew I was going to be biking home later that day. The I remembered that there was a bike shop four or five blocks from work, so I wheeled my sad limpy bike there. Only to find a note on the door, “We’re moving!” and it listed a new address along with their re-opening date which, luckily, was the day before. So I wheeled my sad limpy bike down four more blocks to the bike store. I feel very ignorant about bikes – I want to be able to do my own maintenance, but I never got around to learning how to do it. At any rate, the technician at the bike store put my bike up on the rack and took the inner tube out, checked it for holes, found a hole on a seam, which indicated that it was just a bad innertube, but the still checked the tire for pointy bits anyway, then replaced the innertube while answering questions about training wheels, and I was soon on my way home. It was the best $25 I spent all week.

– County Rec Program. I signed up the 6 year old and 4 year old for a new session of skating lessons and while I did, I thought how awesome it is that they can take 6 weeks of skating lessons + a card for 6 admissions to open skate, all for $114. The expense of kids activities can really build up, so I’m grateful that we have access to really great, relatively low cost, activities through the county program. Our tax dollars at work, I guess.

-Guavas in the mail. My parents sent us a box of guavas from the tree in their yard. I love guavas – the rest of the family not so much. I guess they don’t appreciate the crunchy, sweet, and tropical taste. Yippeee, more for me! There were a few days when I realized that we were low on fruit in the house, but because we had these guavas, I could pack the apples for my kids and take the guavas myself and we would get through another couple of days without a grocery run.

Looking forward to:

– planning meals and cooking again. I haven’t made dinner in a long long long time. I got this cookbook from the library and I’m really excited about the recipes in it:

Hetty Lui McKinnon wrote To Asia With Love, which is another cookbook I’ve loved this year. This book is already overdue, but I’m hoping to sneak a few recipes out before the Library starts banging on my door asking for it back. There is a mushroom ragout that looks amazing, and a butternut squash lasagna that uses butternut squash in place of noodles. Which is fortunate because my Hungry Harvest box came with 4 butternut squashes this week.

– evenings not at the theatre. Evenings and bedtime is a slog, but I miss that routine and being able to snuggle at night.

-The 11 year old’s school play. She’s been working so hard learning her lines; I’m excited to see the lines in context. (This actually just happened – it was fun!)

What we ate: once again, I couldn’t say.

There was some kind of tofu/noodle/ thai-ish stir fry. The leftovers of which I accidentally three out because I thought it was the leftover Thai food that made me sick and had me vomiting at work one day. But it wasn’t and now I’m sad I didn’t get to eat any of my Husband’s yummy cooking.

There was an eat down the freezer meal- a handful of this, a handful of that to finish off some nearly empty packages in the freezer. From the Husband’s account it was something like six dumplings and a handful of tater tots.

There was a pizza and movie night, but I’m not at all sure what they watched.

Weekly Recap + what we ate: tech week!

Saturday was a day off after three looong days in the theatre. It’s been an exhausting week. Luckily the rehearsal schedule lightens up a little bit after this, but I’m behind on putting the cues into my score, so I’ll have to spend several hours on that when we’re not on stage or in a lighting session.

view from my station out front. I have many buttons to push.

Being out and about on the day off was something of a shock. I feel as if I started prepping for this show in summer and yesterday, I went outside and had to blink twice because it is fall. Trees blazing with colour and light. Leaves barely clinging on to branches, their cohorts carpeting the ground. Yet also it’s unseasonably warm this week – in the 70s and 80s. Our choreographer, who is from England, asked me the other day if this warm temperature was normal, and I started to say, “No, it’s not normal,” but then I stopped because I can’t remember what is “normal” weather anymore. I mean I certainly don’t remember it being 80 degrees the week before Hallowe’en, but I don’t think we’ve had a truly cold Hallowe’en in ages. Not the cool nights that I remember growing up, of layers and sweatpants under Hallowe’en costumes.

Some Fun Things This Week:
-Soup Swap At Work! This was absolutely an awesome idea. Four of us brought soup – we had butternut squash soup, cream of mushroom, matzoh ball soup, and I made kale and sausage soup. Someone brought bread, and I picked up apples from the Farmer’s market that morning. Since there were so many soup options, we decided to serve ourselves soup in mugs so that we could each try all of the options without filling up on big bowls of any one soup. Then we started mixing the soups and putting the matzoh balls in different soups. We had lots of leftovers. Definitely goes on our “Let’s do it again” list for work.

-The 11 year old went on a two night overnight trip with her school. I didn’t know this beforehand, but every sixth grader has the opportunity to go on an overnight trip, called Outdoor Education. It’s not really camping because everyone stays in a cabin, but they do spend the day in the wood – suburban woods, but still, outside among trees – and roast marshmallows at night. She apparently had a great time, which surprised me a little because she has always rejected the idea of sleepaway camp. Anyhow, the first day she was gone, I got home form work at midnight and saw that she had left her lunch on the living room floor and I got so sad because day 1 lunch was the one meal that was not provided. And I proceeded to worry about her for the next two days. (Would I have been this upset about it if it hadn’t been tech week, and I had gotten a full night’s sleep? Maybe not.) When she came home, I asked her about it, and she said that she just got a PB&J from the cafeteria and it was fine. I’m so proud of her for figuring it out. Also – I completely forgot to pay the Outdoor Ed fee because the online system was down. I don’t know … the whole thing was somehow utterly mentally exhausting for me. The important thing, though… she had a good time and no one had to pick her up at midnight from the camp because she wanted to come home.

-This fun jigsaw puzzle that one of my co-workers brought in for our office. We may have stayed later than prudent to finish it one night…

What a perfect puzzle for a bunch of theatre nerds!

Some genius things this week:
1) My favorite farm stand is my go to source for apples this time of year. The guy at the register once told me that they have about thirty varieties of apples over the course of Fall. I love trying all the different varieties of apples, but I could never keep straight what I was bringing home. Well, recently, they’ve started putting out paper bags for customers to buy apples. Brilliant! I can write the names of the apples on the bag. I feel like I’ve just been able to up my apple tasting game.

Just one small section of the apples available

2) The use of technology so casually and easily in rehearsal continues to amaze me. I mean when I first started working at this company, we were still faxing things back and forth. In fact there are some ways we notate things on paperwork because it was the only way that it would be clear when the fax came through on the other end. I used to have to make really complicated drawings on paperwork using Word or Paint or what not to show the crew how things should be set up. (My friend could make the most amazing line drawings in Word. They were truly works of art.) But now, I can just take a picture and add it to the paperwork.

The other easy use of our phones/cameras these days is to make study videos of parts of rehearsal so that the director can review them at night and come in with new ideas the next day. It used to be if we wanted to make study videos, we would have to get a camera and a tripod. But now, everyone has a phone with a camera and lots of memory and it’s so easy just to use that. The other week we were making lots of study videos and I had to hold the camera and it got tedious – my arms got tired and shaky. I thought, “How amazing is this technology, and yet, how much are we not set up to use it like this in rehearsal the way we need?” I went looking for a way to rig something to hold the camera up so I wouldn’t have to do it. I ended up finding two book ends and just wedging the phone between them, but it still wasn’t perfect because the bookends kept sliding apart.

Then the fight choreographer started prowling around the room, as if on a mission. And he came back with two rubber bands and a pencil and set this up for me:

The combination of high tech and low tech made me giggle.

What didn’t go so well this week – as usual, home life suffers during tech week. I barely see the Husband or the kids and when I do, it’s very functional. Pack lunches, brush teeth, empty backpacks, fold laundry (just half a load)… Next tech week, I want to find ways to be more… human with my family. Not sure what that means yet… find moments of connection and not just function?

Tech week treats – For me, tech week is a combination of meticulously planned healthy meals and also unlimited snacking. Two indulgences in this latter category which I discovered this week, one sweet and one savory:

Nerds Gummy Clusters! Where have you been all my life? I like have a variety of flavor and texture combinations in my candy and these are the perfect blend of sweet and sour and crunchy and chewy. Apparently there’s Nerd rope too? That might be a little much for me – I like that I can just pop one or two of these in my mouth at a time.

And then buffalo wing pretzels. Buffalo wings are one of my favorite things – and these pretzels – crunchy, tangy, spicy – are like having wings without all the bones and stringy bits.

Grateful for (tech week edition):

– post its notes and removable stickers. This is how I mark up my book. Post Its and removable stickers in all colors so I can color code all the things. On the wall of the theatre there are stage manager prompt books from the 70s and 80s and it’s all pencil and ruler lines and impeccably neat handwriting. I think I did learn to use ruler and lines when i first started marking up a score, but now I use post its, 0.9 lead mechanical pencils, and Frixion pens.

– sunshine and warm weather. Being in a dark theatre for 12-14 hours a day, the few moments of sunshine that I was able to steal are divine. (There was one day where I worked straight through two meal breaks and did not see the sun at all and that made me sad.) I managed to carve out at least 10 minutes, sometimes 30, every day to walk outside and soak up the sun.

– my lunchbox. I have a special lunch box for tech that is the size of a small cooler. It’s huge. But it has to be so that I can pack all my food. I have a huge aversion to being hungry, so I always make sure I pack a lot of food to get me through tech. There is a cafeteria at work, and restaurants in walking distance, but I like the security of knowing what all I have planned to eat that day. The first few days are usually 12+ hours at the theatre so I pack lunch and dinner and two or three substantial snacks as well as a snack to eat on the way home. It all fits in my lunch box, along with an ice pack or two. (One of my co-workers has a tech meal planning spreadsheet – stage managers love a good spreadsheet.) Thank you lunch box for keeping me from having to think about what I’m going to eat. The fewer decisions I have to make once I’m at the theatre, the better.

-Sleep and Showers. Full disclosure – I’m not a “shower every day” person. I think I shower every two or three days. This is how bad it is – I lose count. But I have to say, after working a really rough rehearsal, getting home from work after midnight and waking up 5-6 hours later to do the breakfast/lunch/kids/school bus thing and then being at the theatre by 10am, I just feel groggy and dragging. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. On those mornings, a shower does wonders for me. It makes me feel like it’s a new day, I’ve washed off all the baggage and criticism of the night before and am ready to face whatever is thrown at me. I am grateful for the chance to shower and start fresh.

Looking forward to:

-opening night. Actually final dress rehearsal. I know that opening night is supposed to be the big night, but for me it’s really about the final dress rehearsal. In opera, the final dress rehearsal usually has an invited audience and sometimes it’s the first time we get to run the show all the way through, including bows. (Side bar on Bows … there is never time to stage bows and usually it’s just crammed in at the end of rehearsals, in the five minutes between when the orchestra is released and when the stage crew gets to go home. And some shows… “staging bows” falls by the wayside and the stage management team is handed a sheet of paper on final dress with the bow order and we are supposed to just make it happen. Bows always seem so simple, but there is still a little bit to it – you have to tell the singers which side of stage to enter from, which side to go to after the bow, what the order is, how many bows, where to stand at the end of bow so they don’t get hit by the curtain coming in…. Final dress is the first time we really get to run bows and it is ALWAYS awkward.) Anyhow, I’m looking forward to final dress and getting all the elements lined up line up properly. It’s where I really feel like I’ve gotten the show to the finish line. Opening night is the victory lap.

-Hallowe’en. (okay, Hallowe’en was last night, but I drafted this earlier in the week and didn’t get a chance to post. It happened. More of a recap later). Last year, I was working on Hallowe’en, but this year, the schedule worked out that I’m off. Of course, Hallowe’en falls during tech week, which meant that I was up at 6am assembling one kid’s costume before going to the theatre, and hot gluing another kid’s costume ten minutes before we were out the door. Thankfully the third kid just wants something from our dress up bin. I hadn’t planned on carving pumpkins this year because of the tech schedule, but at the last minute, our neighbors invited us over for a pumpkin carving party so we had jack o’lanterns after all. usually we design our own jack o’lanterns, but the neighbors had some cool stencils and the kids really liked them, so I carved then ones they wanted. I thought they turned out really well.

-sleep. Because it’s been tech and 14 hour days at the theatre and still having to get up in time to pack lunches and get the kids to school. The Husband has been great and telling the kids to let me sleep in until 7am.

What We Ate – I have nothing for this. The Husband, as always during tech week, held down the fort, and he made dinner all week. I was gone every night so I didn’t even get to eat any of his yummy cookings. I think there was broccoli and pasta one night, there was an eggs night. Of course, pizza and a movie. He did make a pickle pizza, which I had leftovers of, and it was very tasty. I ate mostly leftovers, except for the one day when I was at the theatre on Farmer’s Market day and I got, in addition to Kimchi, an eggplant parmesan sandwich.

As for family movie night – I heard they watched Ghostbusters. I’m a little jealous they didn’t wait for me, but it is very seasonally appropriate.

Hallowe’en 2022

Okay – first off, sometimes I feel as if I’m the only person who puts the apostrophe in Hallowe’en. I don’t particularly feel like it is more correct one way or the other – it’s just how I grew up spelling it, and I do like how it looks a little quaint. Hallowe’en apostrophes and Oxford commas for life!

I actually had to work, so I did not get to take the kids trick or treating. It was raining here almost all evening, and I was a little doubtful that the kids would make it very long. In 2019, it was super windy on Hallowe’en and we went over to a friend’s house to trick or treat and didn’t end up going out because we were nervous about the weather. Even though the kids had a great time playing with our friend’s kids, there were definitely tears on the way home when they realized that they didn’t get to go trick or treating. “It’s okay,” I told them, “We can always go next year.” Well, the pandemic proved me wrong on that point. Wump wump.

Anyhow, in light of that 2019 experience, I think that short of a tornado, I’ve decided that I will always let my kids go trick or treating. If they want to brave pouring rain in the pursuit of free candy – great! I’ll let them decide when to give up on the experience. Not that I really had much of a say in it this year since I was working. The Husband did text me in the morning:
“It’s supposed to rain tonight. She can’t go out in a cardboard box in the rain can she?”

Ah yes, the cardboard box. So costumes… The two littles wanted to be Star Wars characters, so when I saw that the Disney Store was having a 20% off sale on costumes in the last week of September, I ordered their costumes. The costumes arrived by the first week of October. I don’t think I’ve even had Hallowe’en costumes that early ever. The five year old was Darth Vadar and the baby was Baby Yoda. They were pretty excited.

The ten year old, however, had some costume ambitions. Last year, I built the five year old a Millenium Falcon that basically won Hallowe’en. I’m not being immodest – he got so many compliments on that costume. The ten year old decided that this year she wanted to have the Hallowe’en winning costume. So she decided to be….

… an iPod!

and here’s the back:

And here’s the other two kids “pushing” the buttons. As they are wont to do:

Looking at the costume now, it seems a pretty simple project, but it was actually more construction than is apparent. I didn’t have the right size box so I had to tape several pieces of cardboard together to get it to be the right dimensions. And then the whole thing took something like six cans of spray paint to make it silver. The best part, though, is that we taped a speaker and an iPod to the inside so that she could actually play music. By all accounts people, especially adults my age, loved the costume.

Earlier in the day, the ten year old’s school had a Hallowe’en parade and party. I managed to slip down to the school for the parade before going in to work. Of course the iPod was a little unwieldy to take to school, so we chose another costume for the ten year old. We originally came up with the idea of Waldo – because that seemed like it would be easy to pull off straight out of the closet – red and white striped shirt, jeans, red and white hat. We went to Party City on Sunday afternoon to look for a pair of glasses to finish out the Waldo look. The only glasses we could find, though, were in a set labelled “Judicial Costume.” Which… call a spade a spade, it was a Ruth Bader Ginsburg kit. We grabbed the kit for the glasses, and then the ten year old decided that she wanted to go as RBG instead of Waldo. I found a black robe that my mother-in-law had made for Hallowe’en for my sister-in-law when she was little. It had a large star embroidered on it, so we turned it inside out and it worked out pretty well. A tight low bun completed the costume. And it all fit inside a Ziploc bag, making it easier to take to school than a huge cardboard creation.

I had been on the fence as to whether or not to go to the school parade since I had to work, but I figured it might be the last Hallowe’en parade I’ll get to go to for the ten year old, and I want to make more of an effort to be present for her, so I went down and it ended up being a lot of fun. The kids all paraded around the parking lot into a big field where the principal made some announcements and there was a costume contest for the teachers, which is always hilarious to see. One of my favorite moments was watching how well the principal was at crowd control. He did that thing to settle the kids down where he claps a pattern and the kids clap it back to him. I’d seen teacher do it in classrooms, but to see a whole school do it was pretty cool. Then, my favorite quip – he said, “You all need to be quiet because I have a pretty bad PA system here.” (he had one of those hand held speakers attached to a microphone). “Tell you what,” he continued, “If you promise to be quiet and listen, I promise to look into getting a better PA system for next year.” I thought that was pretty funny. I didn’t stay for the classroom party, but I did get to wave at the ten year old before I left.

The five year old’s school doesn’t do Hallowe’en, so it was just a regular school day for him, though there was one kid dressed as a banana at the bus stop. I guess there’s no real stopping a kid if they want to dress up, right?

The baby’s daycare also does not do Hallowe’en, but they do have a Fall Pajama Party. She went to school in her Chewbacca pjs – so subversively in costume, I guess. Last week I had signed up to bring fruit, and then promptly forgot about that until 9pm on Sunday night. So Monday morning after doing the school bus drop off, I went to the grocery store, and picked up four packs of strawberries, washed and cut them up and took them to school just in time.

I had contemplated dressing up for the show that I was working that night – I even googled “Costumes in black” to find some ideas for costumes that would incorporate wearing my show blacks. Ironically RBG was one of the suggestions, and I even started to crochet a lace collar, but ultimately I feel really self conscious when in costume (or even part of a costume), so I didn’t follow through with it. The show was pretty uneventful – and I was home by 9:45pm, by which time, the Husband has put the kids all to bed already. I’m told that everyone had a great time despite the rain. The five year old insisted on wearing his Darth Vadar mask the whole time (and why not?) so he was a little bit slow, but he apparently loved his costume and his light saber.

This is the one picture I have of all three kids from Hallowe’en.

Our neighborhood itself is pretty dark for Hallowe’en. We actually go trick or treating with our friends in their neighborhood, which sometimes I feel badly that we don’t have a more robust neighborhood for trick or treating. I didn’t carve a pumpkin this year, which I’m a little sad about, and we didn’t decorate. I did still buy some candy to leave out in a bowl, just in case, but no one came by. Actually come to think of it, I don’t know that the candy even got put out. I think this lack of trick or treaters is a combination of us living on cul de sac off a busy road, so people don’t cross into our street and also a lot of the houses are multi-unit rentals, so there is a lot of turnover. I do miss seeing costumed kiddos come to our door, though.

I was thinking last night, as I gazed at the buckets of candy on our dining room table, what a really fun holiday Hallowe’en is. First of all you get to dress up as whatever you want to be – your favorite character, your hero, a cool inanimate object… My co-worker’s nephew dressed up as a pickle! I love costumes, thinking about them, making them, seeing them. Then, you get to stay up late! Usually on a school night! And then you get to wander up to people, mostly strangers, yell at them, and they give you candy! And hopefully you remember your manners and say “Thank you!” There is so much to love about Hallowe’en.

(Incidentally, I once compared Hallowe’en to tech week – people in costume, wandering around in the dark, yelling demands at me, and there is an inordinate amount of sugar involved.)

I was also thinking too, about how strange Hallowe’en must seem to the post-COVID kids. After two years of social distancing and masking and play pods and “Stay in your bubble” and “Don’t share food!” and all that it must be so bewildering for kids who have never been trick or treating before to grasp the idea. “You mean, I put on this costume, and go up to strangers and take food from them? What a bizarre idea! Is this safe?” I feel like last year people were starting to get back in the swing of things, but there were definitely COVID precautions in place – the neighborhood we went to asked people to put the candy out on a table or something, and that the adults stay back and wave at the kids from six feet away. This year, by all accounts things were back in full force. Apparently the baby didn’t quite grasp the saying “Trick or Treat!” part of the ritual, but she was so cute that people gave her lots of candy anyway.

I don’t have a good strategy for managing the kids’ candy consumption. Right now the strategy is just barking, “Don’t eat that right now!” at the kids periodically when I catch them eating candy, and also a hefty dose of looking the other way and making sure they brush extra well. I think I would like it if the candy were gone by Thanksgiving. If the Husband had his way, it would be gone much sooner. I don’t love the idea of candy hanging out forever, but also throwing away food is a huge hang up of mine. I know candy isn’t really food and maybe I need to have a mental shift and get over that hump.

The top five candy that I would totally steal from my kids: Twix. 100 Grand. Reese’s Pieces. Sour Patch Kids. Dark Chocolate Milky Ways. Though I reserve the right to change my mind and just eat it all when they aren’t looking…