holidays – Life Off Headset

(bi)Weekly recap + what we ate: Distances

It feels like I’m still struggling through May, but really it’s well into June! The older kids still have a week of school, which feels late to me, but at the same time, I’m thinking, “ALREADY??? Unfettered free time for them?!?!” The 3 year old will go to day care full time, but the older kids are having four weeks of camp and the rest will be trips or time with grandparents or parents. I have finally booked all the camps that we need for the kids, so our child care needs are covered. It’s certainly a relief to have it done, but I am second-guessing myself and wondering if there should be more organized activities. It will be fine. I have to remind myself that done is better than perfect. And really, there is no perfect. Grandparent camp/ camp mom and dad will definitely be on the unstructured side. I’m strangely a little nervous about the lack of plans or routine for the non-camp weeks… I want to fill the summer with joy and fun and good memories, but at the same time that feels like a lot of pressure to have those expectations.

Here, the air has been hazy and we , in an ironic twist, masked to go outdoors for a couple days. I guess I’m glad I stocked up on masks last March, even though the kids weren’t masking in school anymore. I didn’t think much of the reports of poor air quality, but when I woke up Thursday morning, the trees seemed shrouded in a light mist. Of course it wasn’t mist. The air in DC is no where are poor of a quality as those further north, and in Canada – I hope everyone is staying safe; it all sounds really worrisome and stressful.

My May show has closed, and that finishes out the season at that company. I’ll be back in September, though, so I don’t feel too badly about not having time to clean out my desk properly.

One day, when I was doing my pre-show checks, I was struck by how much less time my pre-show checks take by the time I get to performance number four. When we first move to the theatre from the rehearsal room, it can initially take upwards of 45 minutes to talk the crew through setting up the props (presetting the props, we call it), and then for me to double check all the presets. The prop list for this show was quite large and a lot of it is quite specific: candle in the black holder on the stage left prop table, candle in the brass holder onstage, two candle tapers in the wooden box, two inch stack of paper on the crate, one tray with six ashtrays and six candles, one tray with three ashtrays and three candles and two cups, etc., etc., etc. Also – once we get into the theatre I work with a union crew so I can’t just put things where I want it – I have to ask the crew to do it. In the rehearsal hall, the other stage managers and I preset the props ourselves, and it just goes faster when I don’t have to explain the exact angle a box needs to sit at because if it isn’t like that, the singer won’t be able to reach the thing on top of the box that is very important for that bit of stage business. But I am deeply grateful for the crew because sometimes we have very heavy and awkward items in the show and by the time we get to stage, I’m tired of having to move it around myself. So I’m always glad for the crew.

All that to say, the first few days onstage I’m rushing to make sure things get set up at those correct angles, and I feel like the props won’t get set up in time for the start of rehearsal. The prop preset seems huge. Sometimes they aren’t all set when rehearsal starts and I just prioritize – set/check the stuff in the first scene, leave all the stuff in the last scene and check those when we get closer. (This is not the optimal way of going about things.)

But then something happens along the way as we get towards opening night and then through performances – the preset list that was a long and daunting 45 minutes process suddenly becomes manageable and takes only fifteen minutes to check. Often the crew has it done before I come up to stage. I can take one glance at a shelf of trays and tell immediately when something is not right, when a slice of bread or bottle of wine is missing. It’s not that I am become careless in prop checking – though I have been known to miss something (one show, it was a canteen that I had forgotten, and a singer had to improvise with a wine bottle. Then he exited stage with said wine bottle and returned with the canteen. I quipped that he pulled a reverse-Jesus.) I’m not careless – I still methodically check things off the preset list – but certainly by performance #4, what once seemed like a huge task on Day One in the theatre, suddenly seems like a less big task, seems routine and easy. On these big big shows I usually do have a moment when I say to myself, “Just think, this preset used to seem impossibly large, and now it’s … not.” Maybe that’s a metaphor for other things in life… sleep training, weekday mornings, going to the airport after COVID….

Just page one of the prop preset. There is another page and then three pages of diagrams.

Along those lines, in my last recap, I noted that I took an average of 16 000 steps per day during tech. As an exercise, I tallied how many steps I took during a regular performance – it takes in the neighborhood of 3000 steps over the course of four hours to run this particular show. That’s a 13 000 step difference. It got me thinking – that 13 000 step difference is the work it takes to figure out how the show is going to work in the theatre. I think sometimes people think that what we do as Stage Managers is make sure the show happens smoothly every night, but as I was doing the math of the difference in number of steps between a day of tech and a performance call, I realize that a lot of the core of my job is in those 13 000 steps. Being a stage manager is not just the 3000 steps it takes to run the show night after night. Rather it’s the 13 000 steps is the work it took to decide the backstage traffic patterns, to figure out the quick changes and prop presets, to make sure singers had clear instructions on how not to get hit by a piece of scenery, to run out onstage when the conductor or director stopped the rehearsal…. 3000 steps is what the audience sees. 13 000 steps, or roughly 5.5 miles, is what it takes to get there. The distance one travels is decidedly not the destination.

Speaking of distance…. I’ve been back to commuting. I recently read this opinion article: “Office Worker Don’t Hate the Office. They Hate the Commute” and something about it certainly rubbed me the wrong way. That they have to specify “Office Workers” seems to leave out large swaths of the population who don’t have the luxury of choosing to work from home. Similarly, a few weeks ago, I listened to an episode of The Art of Manliness titled The Science of a Better Daily Routine, in which they talked about science based ways to tweak your daily routine, including your commute. The guest mentioned that the optimal commute is 15 minutes and how we should craft our jobs with that in mind. It sort of irked me that he seemed to think tweaking your commute was an easy lifestyle change – like eating vegetables or drinking more water.

Anyhow, commuting has been on my mind recently as it has been taking vast amounts of my time. My current commute takes anywhere from 20 minutes on a Saturday morning to 1h, 5 mins on a weekday at 5pm. On days when it takes 20 minutes, it gives me a certain satisfying sense of flow; between home and work, there is but one traffic light, and that one is around the corner from my house. After that traffic light, I can drive without stopping all the way to work – my favorite is driving with my windows down, singing at the top of my lungs. It’s actually fun … if the traffic is light. If the traffic is not light… well then the commute can be soul sucking. All these people trying to get somewhere in their coffin-like metal pods. Alone, mostly. I find myself very rage-y some days when the traffic is moving particularly slowly. The punishing rays of sun that beat in through my window that I can’t escape from as I crawl along at 15 mph, past accidents and through construction. I am trying to be Zen about commuting, trying to make it an exercise in gratitude. I’m having varying degrees of success with this.

Things that make my commute a little less despairing:
– Snacks. Most days I’m commuting home around dinner time, and being hungry certainly does not improve my mood. I used to have granola bars and candy, and chocolate in the car for commuting, but these past few months, in an attempt to eat more vegetables, I’ve started packing crudités and cut up fruit for my commute. I feel like this little switch is a minor win on many levels. In the morning, I have been having my homemade iced chai in my cup holder, and it makes me happy. I tell myself I can’t drink it until I’m in the car, and it gives me something to look forward to. I do need to figure out some kind of portable breakfast because I’m finding that most mornings, I’m not hungry enough to eat breakfast before I get the kids to the school bus and then I’m starving by the time I get to work. Maybe the solution is to just eat at work, but I like to work when I get into work.
– Ice cold water. Staying hydrated is important, and ice cold water on a hot day can be divine. I’ve been filling up insulated water bottle with ice in the morning and topping it off before I leave work so that I have cold water for the drive home. I find having a sip of very very cold water helps perk me up a little bit.
– Something good to listen to. A good audiobook, an interesting podcast (lately I’ve been listening to Book Friends Forever, What Should I Read Next, and The Puberty Podcast), something good on the radio (This great story from the BBC on how opera companies use singing and breathing techniques to help COVID sufferers.), music. Having something engaging to listen to helps me not be so annoyed at the pace of traffic. I was also thinking that I could use the time to catch up on phone calls, but somehow I never feel like doing that.
– Sunglasses. I never saw the point in sunglasses, but a few years ago I got a pair of prescription sunglasses and it was life changing. Really bright sun tends to make me sleepy, which is dangerous when driving. Having sunglasses helps alleviate some of that sun drowsy feeling for me when I don’t have to constantly squint in the morning/ afternoon brightness.
– Reminding myself that I’m lucky to be able to commute to a job that I love, and one that requires my presence. In our world of AI advances, I’m glad that I’m not replaceable. (yet. Always yet. I don’t want to underestimate what we will do with technology). I don’t always feel like what I do is important in the larger context of world problems, but I do get a lot of satisfaction in how I function in the microcosm of putting on a show, and the in person interactions and experiences that I get to participate in. So on days when I am crawling through traffic I try to be grateful that someone needs me to show up somewhere.

So some fun things that have happened lately:

-On Memorial Day I had thought to take the kids on a hike with some friends, but it rained that morning, making it a little too muddy for that, so we decided to take the Metro into DC and go to a Museum instead. We decided to go to the Portrait Gallery because it’s right off the Red Line so easy to get to. In retrospect, it probably wasn’t the best choice of museum for four kids aged 3 to 11. I love that museum – I love seeing all the portraits of people and reading about what they did and how they made their mark. I always am filled with wonder at all the people who did amazing things whom I’ve never even heard about. But… I admit row and rows of portraits is probably not the most engaging for kids. Every time they paused in front of a painting or photograph for more than twenty seconds felt like an achievement. They did spend a whole three minutes in front of this painting, though:

Capture of H.B.M. Frigate Macedonian by U.S. Frigate United States, October 25, 1812 – painting by Thomas Chamber

Something about the energy and movement of the waves and the smoke seemed to capture the kids’ attention. They stood in front of it and talked about canons and shooting and destruction. It felt like a small win.

After the Portrait Gallery we were going to walk to the Natural History Museum, but all the streets were closed down by the Mall. At first I thought it was for the Memorial Day Concert on the Mall, but as we got closer, we realized that there was in fact a Memorial Day Parade. I haven’t seen a parade in ages, and certainly not one with this many marching bands. Of course we stopped to watch. The weather was pretty drizzly by this point, which acutally worked in our favor because the streets weren’t too crowded and we could get a good viewing spot. But all those poor high school students from all over the country, with their polyester uniforms and instruments having to march in the damp weather! I imagine they will always remember this… “Remember that time we got invited to play at the Memorial Day Parade in Washington, DC and it rained and we got soaked as we walked miles and miles down Independence Avenue?” Hard times certainly make for memorable times.

– The 11 year old is graduating from elementary school this year. (OMG.) The PTA got “Proud Graduate Class of 2023” yard signs for all the 5th graders and I walked over one morning to pick one up for our yard. Aside from paying the membership fee and venmo-ing money when staff gifts are being collected, I haven’t been very involved in the PTA. PTAs kind of scare me being the introvert that I am. – I know they are very nice and they do a lot of really great things, but meeting new people and activism has always been hard for me. Plus with kids at two different school I didn’t have it in me to join two separate PTAs. Anyhow, I show up at this person’s house and there are two ladies out front handing out yard sign. They asked the name of my kid and I told them and they said, “Oh my gosh, we love her!” Then they went on about what a good role model she is and how they’ve seen her play basketball, etc. etc. I feel like I spend a lot of time at loggerheads with the 11 year old and to hear other people sing her praises… well it reminded me that she really is a good kid and she tries hard to do the right thing and I need to be less hard on her. I was delighted to hear other people say such good things about her, yet it also made me feel bad that sometimes all our interactions are about things that I want her to do better on, and I should have more interactions that aren’t me naggingly remining her to do things. Definitely one of the things I need to work on.

-I finally opened the bag of Ketchup Chips I brought home from our trip to Montreal last summer. I tend to either abstain from snacks completely or eat the whole package of something. Since I can’t get ketchup chips here in the States, I couldn’t bear to open the one bag I brought home from Montreal knowing that once I opened it, I would devour the whole thing in one sitting. The Husband a few weeks ago, moved the bag of chips to our mantle, with some comment about how they are such a prized possession we should put them on display. Well, one day, after work, I finally decided that it was time to open the bag. Not sure why – something about it being summer and me being home from work early just made it feel like the right time to indulge. I opened the bag, inhaled the tomatoe-y vinergar-y aroma of the chips, then sat in the back yard with a book and my chips and savored every one. It was lovely, and, yes, I’m sad they are now gone.

And afternoon with ketchup chips, working from home Also – as idyllic as this scene seems – we were actually soon driven in by the mosquitoes.

Grateful For:
– All the things mentioned above that make commuting not so terrible. But also for technology and Google Maps. Being able to predict when I’ll be home, being able to see before I get on the road if the Capital Beltway is red or green… I remember when I got my first GPS – back before there was one on every smartphone. It was about the size of a baseball and sat on my dashboard. The first model I had couldn’t tell you traffic delays or anything, it just told you how to get from point A to point B. And before that, all I had to get around was a Thomas Guide. I grew up in Southern California and learned how to drive and get around using a Thomas Guide. Crazy to think that my kids will probably never have to look up a street location on a paper map book.

-The 11 year old’s piano teacher. The 11 year old has been on the fence about continuing with piano lessons. She likes being able to play, but does. not. practice. I’ve gone through phases of pleading, ordering, cajoling, bribing, and just ignoring her in my attempts to get her to practice, and it’s exhausting. I was thinking I should just let her quit, but then I was really struck by a list of things adults wish they could have learned (not sure where I saw the list) and the two top things were 1) play and instrument, and 2) speak a foreign language. (I’m glad I can do both, albeit rather imperfectly.) And then I spoke to a friend who has a side gig as a violinist and she said she is really glad her parents didn’t let her quit when she was my kid’s age. So I don’t want to be all, “You’ll stick with piano because I say so,” but I do want to find a way that the 11 year old will stick with it. I talked to her piano teacher and the teacher said that the 11 year old, when she is pushed can play beautifully, and she would be sad if she were to stop. Then the teacher said this to me, “I have students whose parents think piano is important and want their children to play an instrument even if they don’t practice at home, so they essentially pay me to sit and practice piano with them for thirty minutes once a week.” I don’t know that I feel that is the best use of my child’s activity fund, but at the same time, what if consistent lessons will be enough for her to eventually get over the hump of lacking self-motivation? I think one of the hard thing for me as a parent of a tween is not knowing who my child really is, or wondering if who my child really is is right in front of me, but I can’t see it. Anyhow, I’m glad for the long chat I had with her piano teacher – it gave me a lot of perspective. At first I was inclined to just let the eleven year old quit, but she and I talked about it and about how important it was and how much fun she seems to have when she’s just playing around on the piano and we decided that she’ll take a break for the summer and start again in the fall. I’m cautiously optimistic about this.

-A roof. I literally wrote this in my gratitude journal. One night it rained so so hard, and I was lying in bed with the 6 year old and he said, “It’s a good thing we have a roof.” And I thought… yes. I am very grateful for our roof.

Looking Forward To:
-I’ve booked our summer camping trip! Three nights car camping in the Shenedoahs. It will be me, the two little kids, and my parents. I’m excited for some time outdoors and I’m starting to research hikes for us to go on. I do need to get a new cooler since there is a crack in our old one.

– A visit from a friend. She’s an old friend from college who will be in the area. I haven’t decided what to do yet – maybe we’ll wander around Annapolis, maybe we’ll go on a hike?

-Being home for pizza and movie night. I’ve worked almost every Friday and Saturday night for the past six weeks, or we’ve had an event that we had to attend, so I’ve missed out on pizza and movie night for a while. I get to pick the movie.

– The 11 year old’s fifth grade graduation ceremony. Can’t believe I will have a middle-schooler!

What We Ate: I admit meal planning has been rubbish lately and the Husband has been making most of the dinners. So here is the very vague rundown of the past three weeks since I last did a menu recap…

Monday: Tofu and Broccoli Stir-Fry

Tuesday: Vegan Chickpea Gnocchi Soup. (Made it in the morning before going to work.)

Wednesday: Pasta of some sort

Thursday: Zucchini Boats.

Friday: Pizza and movie night (Zootopia). I think they ordered pizza.

Saturday: Dirty Meat – The was the big grilling party that we have for my work colleagues. This guy I work with marinates meat for a week in a combination of herbs and spices and then we gather to grill and eat it. There were over thirty people at our house for this party since it involved both past and present co-workers. It was a really good time. It might have also involved water balloons.

Sunday: Last minute dinner invite to go to a friends’ house. They had accidentally ordered too much food and needed help eating it. Not that we really need an excuse to see these friends.

Monday: Sauteed green beans, eggs, and Tater Tots. I’m not sure what the Husband/freezer that I can cook and call dinner?”

Tuesday: Pasta Salad with the leftover grilled vegetable from the Dirty Meat party.

Wednesday: Not sure at all.

Thursday: Mac and cheese made from scratch. Go Husband!

Friday: Leftover Pasta salad and pizza. I had to work, but the family watched Kung Fun Panda II (I think? Is there a second one? It was the baby’s turn to choose.)

Saturday: Pizza. On two consecutive nights? Not sure what is up with that.

Sunday: Leftovers scrounged from the fridge.

Monday: Burgers (Turkey and Beef), roasted vegetables, and tater tots. Our friends who came with us to the museum stayed on for dinner. I love having friends who you can just pull tater tots out of the freezer and call it dinner.

Tuesday: Broccoli Tofu Stir Fry

Wednesday: Eat down the fridge night.

Thursday: Pasta Salad. This time using my Friend’s Greek Salad recipe as a base. Made in the morning before I went to work.

Friday: Sandwiches and cookies. And easy dinner because the 11 year old had a piano recital we had to get to.

Goals and Aspirations – Fall review and now til 2023

I thought I might review how I did on my Fall Goals and Aspirations before diving into goals and aspirations for the rest of the year:

Hallowe’en Costumes – done and I was quite happy with the results. The two littles had their store bought Star Wars Costumes, and we made the ten year old her iPod costumes (which is now in the recycling bin…). I did not make myself a costume for backstage. I had thought about going as RBG, but then I felt super self-conscious about it so abandoned the idea.

Jack o’ Lanterns – did not do this. Oh well. I’m a little sad, but with me working most nights up til Hallowe’en and us not having trick or treaters, it just didn’t seem like a priority this year.

Attic Clean Out – Nope. But I did get rid of the Cardboard UPS truck and bundle a bunch of baby clothes to be given away. So incremental progress on ridding the house of stuff.

Apple Picking – Nope. But we did buy lots and lots of apples from the farm stand, and we made apple pie and apple sauce. Which is where it’s at for me, really.

Fall Camping – yay! Did manage an overnight to Lake Burke. I’m so glad I managed to squeeze this one in.

Hiking in Fall Colour – I hiked the Billy Goat Trail with my friend. I did a few small woodsy walks throughout the Fall.

Celebrate the Baby’s Birthday – just a small family celebration. But there was cake, and a sombrero and free ice cream.

Go to the Theatre – Yes! We saw Hamilton in September, and we also had a family trip to the opera, and saw a small show by a local Children’s Theatre in October.

Survive Tech Week – The show I was working on was a nice small opera – only 110 minutes long, no big chorus scenes, only one set look. This definitely contributed to one of the most balanced tech weeks I’ve had in a long time. I got to run, I packed healthy lunches (to offset the massive amounts of Sour Patch Kids that I consumed), and I even read a book while lightwalking. Not sure if The Husband felt like it was balanced, though… tech week is always hard on him, I think

Fix the Storm Door – Not quite yet. The Husband ordered a new door and it will be installed when it gets here.

Window Treatments for the Living Room – Nope. Such a daunting thing.

Ziplining with the Ten Year Old – Nope. I had thought to do it next week, but the weather has gotten cold, and I think the place is closing for the season soon.

Cozy Kitchen Adventures – well I made a pie. And then three weeks later with the leftover pie dough and filling I made a galette. There needs to be more of this.

Watch some recent movies – I have been home for something like two movie nights this fall, so I haven’t watched as many as I wanted. Oh well, I guess it’s good to have a list of things I want to see so that I don’t spend my time scrolling through trailers when I do sit down on the couch.

Happy Hour with Mom’s Group – Nope, but I have one planned for tomorrow!

Happy Hour with Stage Managers – sort of. I had one colleague over for dinner and we had an after work happy hour with the other stage managers on the show I was working with. I kind of wish I had been more social work-wise because I’m feeling out of the loop in my industry. Oh well. Need to do some deep thinking about this issue.

Free Days that are Restorative and Fulfilling -how is that for a very vague unquantifiable goal? not quite sure what grade I would give myself on this one.

Okay – that was fall. Now goals and aspirations from now til the end of the year. It’s a mix of “to do” and “for fun”. I feel like there is definitely lots more things on the “to do” portion list than I am putting below, but it’s a start.

Holiday Cards – I’d like to get them out by the second week of December. Let’s say December 10th. Which means I should probably order them by December 1st. I have a design picked out, I just have to write our letter and pick the photos.

Plan Birthday Parties – the two older kids have January birthdays and I know if I don’t plan them in December, they will get lost in the holiday madness and I will be scrambling come January. I think we’re going to actually have some kind of party for them, with friends, the first since 2020. The last birthday party we had was at the local fire station for the 5 year old (then turning three), in January of 2020. The oldest wants a sleepover/ movie theatre gathering and the middle kid wants a Chuck E. Cheese party.

Read a Lengthy Book – Something to immerse myself in during winter. I’ve started reading The Weight of Ink, which is 560 pages long, so it will for sure last me a while – particularly since I always read 3 or 4 books at a time. If I get through that, I’m thinking of picking up Juliet Barker’s biography of the Bronte sisters or Robert Massie’s biography on Catherine the Great.

Make Sure Kids have Winter Gear – We got out hats and mittens for the kids this week. I need to make sure they have snowpants/ snow suits. Who knows what the snow will be like this year, but best to be prepared.

Go Sledding – since I finally bought a sled this year. Of course this is very weather dependent.

Barring that, go ice skating – I love skating. We have indoor ice rinks and outdoor ice rinks here – I prefer the indoor rinks for the amount of space, and the outdoor rinks for the festive atmosphere.

Cook at least two vegan dinners a week – I tend to overindulge with the Holiday food, so I’m hoping to balance that with some vegan meals. Not that vegan necessarily means healthy, to be honest. But vegan usually means more vegetables.

Watch Holiday Movies – we’ve made a list!

TubaChristmas! – Tubas playing Christmas carols. What else could one ask for? The Husband and I have gone to the concert almost every year since we met.

Put up Christmas Lights on the House – I’m not a huge decorator of interior spaces, but I do love seeing our house adorned with Christmas lights.

Widow Treatments for the Living Room – Setting a micro goal of ordering samples at least.

Find the perfect leggings – The leggings I ordered from Pact did not fit, so back they went. Ugh. This is what I want: cotton leggings (with a bit of stretch) with a tech pocket, in a colour not black. I have a pair of cotton leggings from Jockey that I actually love, but they don’t make them in other colours. I’m thinking of trying Duluth Trading Company leggings, but they are an investment.

See a Christmas Light Display – there are many options for this around us. We might try Zoo Lights since it is back for the first time since the pandemic. Or we might do a drive through one so we can play Christmas music in the car and sip our hot cocoa as we drive.

Finish my 1000 hours outside – In September of last year, I started tracking my outdoor time with the goal of getting to 1000 hours in one year. I didn’t make it, and now I have maybe 75 hours to go. (I probably have less than that since I gave up tracking last month so there’s about three weeks’ worth of outdoor time that I didn’t track.) It’s ambitious, but if I can get to 1000 by the end of the year, I will be able to start fresh in 2023.

Take the kids to the theatre – I’m thinking either Beauty and the Beast or Into the Woods.

Read Christmas Books with the kids – I don’t know that we’ll do advent picture books like in years past, but I do plan on checking out books from the library about winter and the holiday season. Also- definitely plan to have a road trip and listen to Elaine Stritch’s read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Funniest Christmas story ever.

See a Christmas Train Display – There are a couple options for this – the U.S. Botanical Gardens and our local Botanical Gardens. And of course we could always make the trip to Longwood Gardens.

Do More Laundry – The Husband does almost all the Laundry, and I want to help out more with that since I’ll be home more the next couple of weeks.

Christmas Shopping mindfully – I feel as if I’m still trying to figure out the balance of how to gift give with intent and without going overboard. Also there are teacher gifts and holiday tips to have to decide upon so it’s easy to lose track of where the money is going during the end of the year. This is clearly a wonderfully vague goal that I need to break down into actionable steps. It will probably involve lists.

Labour Day Weekend 2022. Renaissance Festival!

Another Labor Day weekend in the books, and now I feel like summer is truly on it’s way to fall.

Not everything on my my Labor Day Weekend plans/ aspirations list got checked off, but the most important adventure was accomplished – we went to the Renaissance Festival! The Ren Faire was the perfect way to end the summer — it’s a special outing, outdoors, yet local so we can still come home and sleep in our beds and not have to unpack suitcases. I love going to the Ren Faire. The costumes, the shows, the atmosphere of hubub… Everything about it is just pure fun. Also – not going to lie, but an additional perk right now is that the two littles get to go for free, so I just had to buy tickets for me and the ten year old. (The Husband didn’t go – even though one of our first dates was to the Ren Faire, he doesn’t actually like them.) This was my first time taking the toddler. I think the five year old went once when he was still a baby in the baby carrier.

We went with some friends who had never been before, and when we met up with each other inside the festival gates, they said, “We’ve never been before, so we’ll take your lead on what to do.”

“Well,” I said, “Usually we see shows, eat food on a stick, people watch, and swelter in the heat.”

And we did all that and more.

We watched a Birds of Prey demonstration. The little kids went on Pony rides. The ten year old climbed a rock wall. The toddler wanted to as well, but you had to be four to climb. “I’ll can climb it next year!” she said.

There was a playground with a giant pirate ship where the kids would have played all day if we had let them. There were people dressed as pirates and wenches and kings and queens and fairies and knights and warriors and all other manner of fabulously imaginative creations. The toddler, being the only one in the family with Ren Faire appropriate clothes (aka dress up clothes) was the only one who got dressed up. She even wore a veil that the ten year old had been gifted the first time she went to the Renaissance Festival exactly six years ago to the date. Here’s a then and now:

Of course we had turkey legs (and all other manner of faire food):

There were shows, so many shows to see. Comedy shows, Shakespeare snippets, juggling shows, music shows (bagpipes!). We watched the drama of King Henry VIII’s court unfold as Jane Seymour waits to become queen.

There was a longsword demonstration. We did not make it to the jousting, which was my one regret. In all my years of coming I have yet to see the jousting. I think I always plan on it but then get sucked into watching something else. Well, next year I’ll make sure it’s a priority.

There was face painting and fairy wings and a warrior’s shield.

We were there all day – arrived at 10:30am and left at 6:30pm. By the end of the day everyone was sweaty and dusty and sticky. The lady at the fairy wing booth said to me, “I can always tell the parents who let their kids have the most fun because those kids are the dirtiest.”

We probably stayed a little longer than prudent; I hadn’t brought the stroller so the toddler didn’t take an afternoon stroller nap and she had a pretty epic meltdown when we got home around 7:15pm. Even still, we had a really great time and, not that I would say it was worth an evening meltdown, sometimes one can’t let the last part of the day be the last word on the whole day. Sometimes the epic tantrum is just the price of admission for a fun filled end of summer adventure.

The rest of the long weekend plans/ aspiration list went pretty well:

We did get to the Farmer’s market. The Husband and I took the two little kids and picked up some yogurt and granola from the farmer’s market downtown. Then, because I wanted to do a bigger produce shop, we drove about twenty minutes to a farm stand in the next county because as much as I love our downtown farmer’s market, the produce is less expensive at the farm stand outside the city. The five year old, unbeknownst to me put a watermelon into out basket. The thing was half his size!
Then because it was on the way home, we stopped at Ikea. I had been looking for a container for our paper recycling since our current solution was a cardboard shoebox that was starting to fall apart. The main criteria for the recycling container was that it had to have a lid because the baby is still in that phase where she will put random things in open containers. After scouring the internet, and ordering something from Amazon only to have it arrive broken, I thought we’d check out Ikea. And of course, they had the perfect thing for half the price of anything I saw online. We also found these hooded towels that were perfect size for the two little kids. They’ve outgrown the hooded towels from the baby years, but still like to be swathed post bath. I’d contemplated buying them a set from Pottery Barn or The Company Store, but, again, Ikea had the perfect thing for a fraction of the cost. And the Husband picked up a boot tray that he said was exactly what he needed for draining his plants. Again… perfect thing, fraction of the cost of buying a plant tray from the garden store. We also wanted to buy a mattress for the ten year old, but thought it’d be better to go when she could come with. We did not find a solution for shoe storage – the situation in our foyer with shoes has gotten out of hand. Everything we liked would have to be drilled into the wall, and we have vintage wood paneling that we are loath to drill into. (Later that day, the ten year old just took all the shoes out of the baskets and lined them up in the foyer. We’ll see how the “no storage” solution works… so far, it’s worked better than I thought.)
All in all, though, a very successful morning of errands. I’d forgotten how fun Ikea can be for kids. Every time we walked into one of their faux rooms, the kids were delighted. “I want to live here!” the toddler would say. And for lunch, we ate in the Ikea cafeteria and had meatballs, which felt like a treat.

I meal planned for the week based on the produce run.
Did not managed to re-assess my closet completely, but I did take everything out and purged some things that didn’t fit. Some of it, like the party dresses, I set aside for my daughters in case they want to them when they can fit in them (which is sooner than I think… the ten year old already wears tops and sweaters that don’t fit me anymore). The closet is a little cleaner, but the clothes to be put into storage or given to donation are now in piles all over the bedroom. A little bit at a time, I guess. I don’t love my options for workwear that I have, particularly for the still warmer weather we are having, but I think I will make do for now and resist buying more.
Did not order shoes, but did put some options in my shopping cart.
Did go to the pool one last time before it closed for the season.
Slow run/walk accomplished when the Husband took the kids with him to run errands one morning. Very very slow. I think I only managed to run about 3/4 miles of it. Small steps. Literally.
I did get to relax on the back patio with a book, and I managed to fit in reading a little bit of each book in my current rotation. I feel like I want to incorporate some kind of family reading time. The little kids don’t read yet, but they can sit with a Vox book. Maybe this is a cozy cooler weather aspiration.
Socks and underwear ordered for the kids. I don’t understand why so many companies sell underwear in packs of five.
Did not completely finish prepping my score for rehearsals, but I did put in a little bit of work time to finish timing the show off a video. Even though the video is not the version we are doing, watching it got me super excited to start rehearsals. The music is so good!
I did not bake muffins, but given the Costco run last week, we are pretty well stocked for snacks.
And, not on the list, but something that the Husband and ten year old have made into a family tradition of late – we finished off the weekend by watching and episode of Golden Girls and folding the laundry. (Well the baby didn’t really watch, but she did do summersaults onto the couch.)

All in all, a pretty good weekend.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Being Thankful

The baby trying to carve the turkey. She needs a bigger knife.

Thanksgiving week! The three days before Thursday was two half days and a full day off school for the nine year old. For the half days she went to basketball camp at the rec center – masked and with one COVID vaccine shot, I felt like it was an okay activity on my risk scale. Then on the Wednesday full day off, she had a friend over for a playdate and they baked cupcakes from the Milkbar Kid’s Only cookbook. (I find calling it a playdate when the kids are nine… odd? At this point, aren’t they just “hanging out”? Certainly adults don’t call them playdates when they hang out.)

We had been planning on visiting a friend in Boston for Thanksgiving, but at the last minute she told us that she wasn’t going to be home, so we had a quiet family Thanksgiving at home. As is our tradition, we watched the Macy’s Day Parade and then the Dog Show. The Husband made sausage balls. We watched a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

Some things this Thanksgiving:
– Buttermilk brined a turkey breast and it turned out really good. I had to brine it two days ahead of time, and didn’t really have a bag to brine it in, so I used the InstantPot insert. Didn’t quite get the whole breast submerged, so I had to rotate it a couple times.
-I also didn’t have a rack or a roasting pan, so I just used a regular 13″x9″ Pyrex pan and made a little “rack” by laying some carrots, parsnips, and onions on the bottom of the pan. It worked really well, and the roasted vegetables were an unexpected bonus to the dinner table.
– The family being understanding and not at all cranky when I underestimated the amount of time it would take to cook the turkey. The recipe I had been looking at had been for half a turkey breast. ooops. We had planned to eat at 3pm, but it was closer to 4pm when we sat down.
-Playing Ticket To Ride. Well the Husband and the nine year old and I played Ticket to Ride. The two little watched, then ran around, then started flinging the spare trains across the room. I’ll be very excited when they can start to play too.

picture taken by the baby… surprisingly well done.

-two pies. I’m sure glad I wrote a post last year about the perfect pumpkin pie recipe so I could recreate it. Though the pie still cracked. For the apple pie, I used the apple pie filling I had frozen in October. For some reason, the bottom of the pie didn’t bake through and I had to stick it back in the oven after we had cut into it. I need to troubleshoot that. It wasn’t even that the crust was just soggy from the filling; it was still raw while the top of the pie was beautifully baked. Still everything was tasty.

two pies – imperfect, but still tasty. and fresh whipped cream.

The Friday after, a friend who lives around the corner had us over for hot pot. This was such a brilliant idea for a small outdoor dinner party! We set up our camp stoves outside in the backyard, had one pot with mild broth and one pot with spicy broth. The spicy broth was filled with red peppercorns and various hot pepper flavors, making my mouth tingle happily with each slurp.

I love hot pot. One of my favorite restaurants pre-pandemic was a place called Urban Hot Pot. Everyone had their own burner, and there was a conveyor belt that ran next to the tables with the raw food and you could pick what you wanted off the belt to put in your pot. You could also order off the menu but that wasn’t as seredipidously exciting. On the one hand, one wonders at the novelty of paying to actually cook your own food, but on the other hand, the variety and ability to just eat what you want offsets that for me.

Not wanting to show up empty handed, I brought a container of cut fruit (persimmons, grapes and the good Korean pears – seemed like the traditional fruit offering) and some homemade Hong Kong Egg tarts. I love having egg tarts when we go to dim sum and I’ve often wondered if I could make them at home. When you get egg tarts at restaurants they always seem so delicate and fancy, and I was afraid of not getting the right silky smooth texture for the filling. Turns out they are pretty simple, to make. Granted, I did make a layered pie crust rather than a truly flaky laminate crust, but the filling tasted just as good. I didn’t have tart tins, so I used the muffin tin, and I thought that worked really well.

And now we go into the Holiday Season. Advent starts in November this year, On Monday I stopped at the library and checked out a whole slew of seasonal books for our Advent Book Tradition. Between the library books and the books we already have, I feel like we have more than enough books, but some nights we can read two.

We have candles… last year we’d forgotten to buy candles until the night before so right then and there I put a reminder in our calendar for the first of November this year: “Buy Advent Candles.” And so this year they were ordered in plenty of time and we are ready.

After dinner on Thursday night I let the Husband clean up the Thanksgiving feast and took a walk outside. It was getting dark, that pinky dusk sky, and the weather was still quite warm. I put the toddler in the stroller and went for a 45 minute walk. I hadn’t been out of the house all day, and was starting to get antsy. (The Husband had taken the kids to the park before dinner.) Things were pretty quiet at 5pm, but I loved walking around and seeing houses lit from within, and some already lit from the outside with Christmas lights. I looked at some houses with long lines of cars parked in front, and realized that for a lot of these families this must be the first gathering in over a year and a half. Over a year and a half of lonely holidays, cautious celebrations, small gatherings, and assessed risk just to be with family. I pictured the full tables and hugs and love that these houses were filled with. It was a great way to start the holiday season.

I’ll leave you with this bit of randomness while out on a walk – a persimmon on a postal box:

What We Ate:

Saturday: Pizza (take-out) and Holes. We had read the book this year, and the nine year old wanted to see the movie. I thought the movie was well done, but I was disappointed that Shia LaBoeuf was cast as Stanley. He did a great job, but in the book, Stanley is overweight, and that’s a pretty important character point. I guess that’s a fault with the adaptation, not with the movie itself. Still, the book is really so perfect in how it unfolds, that the m

Sunday: Leftovers.

Monday: Stir Fried Tofu and Mushrooms with Fermented Black Beans. This was kind of a not-quite-Mapo Tofu recipe – not really what I expected, but still really tasty. We ate it with noodles.

Tuesday: Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup (from a box).

Wednesday: Chicken Soup with rice and farro, loosely based off a recipe from Dinner Illustrated. Only I added parsnips and butternut squash because we had a bunch of that to eat up.

Thursday: Thanksgiving!!! Buttermilk brined turkey breast *loosely following this recipe), fennel salad with oven wilted grapes (I was the only one who like this), roasted carrots and parsnips (roasted with turkey), cranberry sauce, sauteed green beans (the Husband’s garlic soy sauce method), rolls, gravy (from turkey drippings),

Friday: Pizza (take out) and A Christmas Movie Christmas. This movie was actually kind of funny – two sisters, one of whom loves Christmas movies, magically get transported into one and get to live out all the Christmas movie cliches. The ending was a little flat for me, but as Christmas rom-coms go, I thought this one was pretty fun and original in it’s familiarity.

Weekend round up: dark days

The clocks set back last weekend. We managed fine. Saturday there was soccer and dance and then a visit from an old friend and mentor of mine who was in town. We spent lots of time outside and at parks. Saturday night we family Mario Kart night, which we hadn’t had in a while. I’m still phenomenally bad at Mario Kart; the four year old and I trade for last place throughout the game.

The baby was up early on Sunday. But she’s always up early. And honestly, the difference between 5:00am and 6:00am is kind of negligible on a Sunday morning. At the other end of the day, I had planned a Zoom book club meeting for my mom’s group at 8:30p, scheduled weeks ago, not realizing that it was Daylights savings and that we might all be exhausted by then. Six of us managed to joined the call and while we were all spent and tired by 9:45p, it was a nice chat and catch up.

I read this essay in the Washington Post that pointed out that we are now entering into the 90 darkest days of the year. Saturday, November 7th is 45 days from the Winter Solstice. And on the flip side, February 4th is 45 days after. To think of it another way, this is the darkest quarter of the year. Metaphorically speaking, I hope.

The other day, the four year old asked if we could go back to the “Kangaroo Pool”.
“No,” I said. “That pool is only open during the summer.”
“Oh,” he said, disappointed. He thought for a moment then asked, “When will it be water Wednesday?” Water Wednesday is waterplay day at school.
“Water Wednesday is only during the summer,” I said.
“What is it now?”
“Right now it’s fall. Almost winter. It’s too cold to be out in the water.”
“Why is all the fun things during the summer?”
“Well,” I said, “We can do fun things in the winter too….”

I started making a list of fun things in the winter for us to do. And at dinner the whole family made suggestions:
– build snowmen
-drink hot cocoa
-make snow angels
-drink tea
-Christmas
-ice skating

Even though the nine year old will be fully vaccinated by Christmas, I think this will still feel like a pandemic winter in a lot of ways. Definitely not as restrictive as last year, but still no air travel or family visits or indoor dining as a family. I did notice that the nine year old’s favorite restaurant is having live Irish music again, and I was thinking that might be a nice celebratory event for two weeks after her second shot, just her, the Husband and me.

Still, I need to take time to think through and plan some things to enjoy and savor in these next ninety days. I do love a good lazy hunkering, but I know there are also many ways to embrace this darkest quarter beyond the house. Plus there is my 1000 hour outside aspirations. Even with the specter Global warming looming, I don’t want to take the current mild weather for granted.

The holidays are imminent, and will be here before we know it, and then it will be the new year and that fresh page. The to-do lists are long and sometimes overwhelming. I want to make sure time is spent “being”, not just “doing”.