Weekly recap + what we ate: Attention

A night at the theatre!

I had to work both Saturday and Sunday last week, but Sunday was the supertitle gig, so it did actually feel like a break from my opera job. And running titles is fun because I get to enjoy the music and run the titles projections and I don’t have to talk to anyone. When I’m stage managing sometimes it feels like there is someone constantly talking to me. One fun thing that I did Sunday morning before going to work was take the eleven year old on a run. She usually has a swim clinic on Sundays, but lately has been reluctant to go, so I offered that we could go for a run instead. (I was partially inspired by Coco for this idea; I always love reading about how she runs with her children.) We went to the track at the middle school and ran laps and then did a few passes up and down the stairs while listening to Against the Odds. We didn’t go very far or very fast, but at least we kept moving.

Monday was President’s Day, and the kids were off school. I was working, so the Husband took the kids down to the Mall to visit the Natural History Museum. This seems to be the Husband’s routine on no school days with the kids – he takes the on the Metro downtown to see a museum. I have to say I’m quite jealous because I have yet to go to any museums this year and I told myself I would make a point to visit the more frequently. It just seems like all the free museums are a perk of living in the DC area and I don’t take advantage of it enough.

The highlight of the week was definitely going to the theatre to see Into the Woods. The day was unseasonable warm – almost 80 degrees and sunny. I attempted to go on a run during my lunch break, but I was not dressed for such weather – I made it about ten minutes then got really hot, and went back to the office. I did go for a walk earlier that day, so the weather was enjoyed and savored. After work, my friend picked me up and we headed down to the theatre, stopping to pick up food on the way from Flower Child, a new to me restaurant chain that is purports to be healthy. I had a tofu plate with curry cauliflower and yuzu brussel sprouts and it was pretty tasty. The weather was so warm that we could sit on the back terrace of the theatre to eat.

The show itself was wonderful. I laughed so hard throughout and then I almost cried at the end. I first heard Into the Woods in high school – I think I saw the telecast of the original Broadway cast on PBS or we rented the video or something. The orchestra was onstage in this version, and it made me really appreciate the music a lot more – especially the strings and the very busy percussionist who did a lot of the sound effects. I sort of regret not bringing my 11 year old, but she went to see it later on with the Husband, so I think it’s okay. Some more of my favorite moments:
– Cole Thompson as Jack singing “Giants in the Sky”. It’s my favorite song in the whole show.
– The amazing puppet work and the very hilariously meta way that Kennedy Kenagawa the puppeteer/actor that played Milky White the cow was integrated into the action. There was no pretending that we couldn’t see the man behind the curtain.
-The scene change when everyone goes into the woods and birch trees come floating down from above. I know the mechanics about how things fly in – often I’m watching it from the side of the stage, making sure no one is standing in the way of things flying in. To see it happen from the audience point of view- I am reminded how magical these simple theatre maneuvers are. How, with a bit of man power and proper riggings, something very simple – attaching scenic elements to a pipe and slowly lowering them to the ground along with a change in lighting- can bring about stunning transformations.
-At the end of intermission, a voice announced that for the remainder of the show, the role of the Baker would be played by his understudy. Said understudy was playing Rapunzel’s Prince, and so the role of Rapunzel’s Prince would be played by his understudy. (I had seen the Baker limping at the end of the first act, but I thought he was acting. I guess not?) What excitement and frenetic arrangements must have been taking place backstage while I was enjoying some fresh air at intermission! Okay, the best part was when it came time for the scene in Act Two where Rapunzel’s Prince and Cinderella’s Prince enter for their second duet – the two men entered, greeted each other, as in the script, then Cinderella’s Prince says totally deadpan, “Brother, you look different.” Brought. Down. The. House. I laughed so hard. I love it when actors can riff with ease like that.
– One thing that I really appreciated about the show was that it wasn’t too loud. I often find that when I go see musicals, everything is so loud that it is distracting. I don’t know if it was because the orchestra was onstage, but I found that the levels for the performers was perfect – I could hear them and they didn’t seem overamplified.

Bad Moment/Good Moments: Getting the kids to clean up after dinner (or really clean up in general) is still proving to be a struggle. There was definitely some yelling this week. There was one day when dinner was super loose because the Husband was trying to make it to Ash Wednesday service, so he ate first, but then when he left for church all the kids left the table and disappeared. It made me so angry to have no one answer when I called them back to the table, and then to have to clean the kitchen by myself. I just want my kids to be helpful! I yelled and then went outside and stood in the driveway in the cold air for a while. What awful roommates they are.

But then there are days when they just dance by themselves in the kitchen, and it just makes me smile to see them bopping away on their own:

dance party

Podcast listen of the week: This episode about how to manage your attentions span from The Art of Manliness (I find the title “The Art of Manliness” really cringe-y, but they do cover a wide array of fascinating things.) The guest on the program, Dr. Gloria Mark is a professor who studies attention span, and actually wrote a book called Attention Span: A Groundbreaking Way to Restore Balance, Happiness and Productivity. Ironically, it took me over a week to get through this podcast as I kept getting distracted. The discussion (which there is a transcript at the link) discussed how attention span seems to be shrinking, whether or not technology and media has contributed to this shrinking attention span or is merely a reflection of it, how your personality type reflects your attention span, and why multi-tasking makes us inefficient. As someone who often finds it hard to sit and focus for long periods of time, I really connected with a couple of points:
– Dr. Mark talks about how task switching really can torpedo attention span and points out how even when one is concentrating on doing one thing, there is a significant amount of task switching within that thing. They use the example of planning a trip – even when doing that one thing, it’s comprised on many small tasks – checking tickets, switching over to checking calendars, the logging into your bank account, etc. So there is a huge potential to get distracted and fatigued from task switching. I think this is why consciously breaking down large projects into smaller portions is a good tactic.
-I had mentioned in a previous post about the morningness-eveningness quiz which helps determine an ideal bedtime and you”morningness/eveningness” type. I had first heard about the quiz from The Art of Manliness site before the podcast was released and it was interesting to hear them talk about how to use the quiz results in context of attention span. One of Dr. Mark’s main ideas is that we can get a handle on our attention span by acting with more agency and deliberately planning our day to when we are the most alert – not groundbreaking advice by any means, but I had never thought to really try to find out when my most alert times of day were. I realized that I haven’t been maximizing my morning-evening type lately, and as a result I’ve had some pretty inefficient days at work. I’ve had a few days with a very light rehearsal schedule, and I usually run in the mornings because the trail is near the bus stop so it makes sense to do the school bus run then hit the trail. But then I don’t get to work until noon or 1pm and then I find it hard to concentrate. Given that the quiz seems to indicate that I’m an intermediate/morning type, I think it might make more sense to go to work after the school bus drop off and then have my run later in the afternoon when I find myself getting more distracted. I’m going to try to implement that whenever possible and see if I find it easier to focus and plough through stuff by getting to work earlier.
-My favorite point – They talk about how distraction is not necessarily a bad thing because studies have shown that giving yourself positive brain breaks actually can replenish your cognitive resources. This got me thinking of positive brain breaks I can take. And some of the things I came up with:
> doing a downward dog and some light stretching
> reading the list I keep of funny things my kids say/ looking at cute kid pictures
>have a chat about non-work things with my colleagues. No complaining allowed.
> go for a walk outside and savor nature.
> do some leisure reading
> have a tasty snack or some water
> do something creative like doodle a random art prompt, or write a haiku
> Say thank you or compliment someone.
> Do a puzzle or a brain game.
What I want to avoid, when I need a positive brain break is scrolling on my phone or taking on a lot of negative energy or emotion from someone else. I’m not on social media because I found it mentally and emotionally draining, but there are still lots of other websites and forums which I don’t feel recharged after visiting. So I like the idea of having alternatives to my phone when I find myself unable to focus. This actually ties to something I did last month. I created a screen on my phone of “positive activities.” I had heard the idea on a podcast of creating a folder on your phone for social media alternatives so that when you feel the urge to aimlessly scroll, you can go to that folder instead. I did a variation on this, and put certain apps that I feel positive about on one screen, so when I idly pick up my screen for a little break, I tell myself to check out those activities first. It doesn’t work all the time, but many times, it does keep me from internet rabbit holes.

Home Screen

My positive apps: photos; weather; Smiling Mind (meditation, mostly I use for the kids); Libby and Hoopla for library books; Duolingo to practice my Mandarin; Runkeeper; Podcasts; Notes for random thoughts and haikus; Wordle – did you know you can set any website to be an icon “app”? I think this is genius because now I can go directly to Wordle rather than getting distracted by other sites when I open my browser. I’m contemplating adding Spotify or a music app or Audible to my “positive break” page. But then I would cover up the Husband’s face even more and we can’t have that.

Grateful For:
– Windows in the rehearsal hall. I’ve worked in many a company where we rehearse in a windowless bunker – cafeterias, basements, church auditoriums… You go in in the morning and emerge blinking into the light at midday and then back in after lunch then at the end of the day come out to the dark of night; it is always a little disorienting. The rehearsal room I’m working in now has huge floor to ceiling windows . I love how the windows let in the sunlight and I can see the progress of the day outside. Our windows face west, and some days I can watch the sun set and see the pink and orange skies – it is a lovely positive brain break during long rehearsal days.
– That I sometimes get staff discounts for performance tickets. It’s a definitely perk of where I work. I will be the first to admit that going to a live performance is expensive; I am so grateful for people who come to see shows and help pay my salary. At the same time, I know I would very rarely prioritize paying full price for a live performance unless it were something very special. So having access to a discounted ticket here and there from work makes me feel so lucky.
– Drop off birthday parties and the parents who throw them. The six year old is at an age now where he is invited to drop off parties. I don’t mind terribly having to make awkward small talk with other parents, but when I’m working and there is only one parent at home and three children to watch, being able to drop a child off at a party is a gift. I picked the six year old up from a party and I literally said to the birthday child’s parent, “Thank you for having a drop off party!”

Looking forward To:
– A morning walking date with my work bestie on our day off on Thursday. I see her almost every day at work, but it’ll be nice to have some time to talk about non-work stuff.
– Cooking from Cookbooks. I put a bunch of cookbooks on hold at the library recently and they all came in at the same time. In retrospect, the week I start rehearsal is hardly an ideal time to dive into new recipes. I’ve leafed through them for some of the simpler ideas to use these next few weeks, and I’m planning on cooking from one of them on my day off – probably a soup so I’ll have easy leftovers. I’m really looking forward to cooking from them once the show opens. I love reading cookbooks, and one of them is part memoir, part cookbook which I’ve been reading during breakfast and it’s been lovely.
-Tech week! Coming up. I’m excited to get this show to Opening Night. I’ve started stocking up on all my favorite snacks.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Pizza (Husband made) and Star Wars. I have to admit that I fell asleep during this movie. I had had a couple late nights and Star Wars is a great movie, but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Sunday: Chipotle. The 11 year old’s choice to celebrate an improved report card.

Monday: Stir Fried Garlic Green Beans, Roasted Potatoes and Mac n Cheese. The Husband cooked – it was a bit of a fridge clean out kind of smorgasbord.

Tuesday: Black Bean Soup from Hetty McKinnon’s Family: New Vegetable Classics to Comfort and Nourish. Since I was making this in the morning so the family could eat it that evening, I adapted her recipe for the Instant Pot, using dried beans instead of canned. Vegan.

Wednesday: Breakfast for dinner – waffles and eggs and breakfast tacos. This was one of those days which we didn’t meal plan something and then the afternoon got busy and at 4:30pm, the Husband asked, “What should I make for dinner?” I initially suggested pancake because we had some Kodiak pancake mix, and when I got home he had the waffle maker out.

Thursday: Butter Chicken and rice, using the leftover butter chicken sauce from last week.

Friday: Tortellini with red sauce. Our usual Friday night quick dinner before the 11 year old’s basketball.

Weekend – Solo Saturday

Truck touch.

The Husband went out of town on Saturday for a friend’s birthday party, which I was so excited about because he never takes time for himself and he has been on solo parent duty for most of the past eight weeks. So I had an entire day with the kids to myself. The plan was to keep us out of the house as much as possible.

So on Saturday, we:
– Got bathing suits and kickboards. I’ve been trying to order bathing suits off Amazon for the ten year old, but none of them have fit and it’s been a frustrating, unending process. Then one day I noticed that there is a small swimwear store located near us so on Saturday, we popped in. She tried on a bunch of bathing suits and found two that fit. Hooray! I also bought kick boards (we called these flutter boards when I was growing up) for the two little kids. I’m so glad I found this store – every summer we try to buy goggles at the big chain sporting good store, but they are always out of the right size. Next summer I’m just going to come to our small local swim store.

– Then we went to a park and met up with some friends for food trucks, music, and beer. The kids played in the playground while I got to catch up with the grown ups.

three kids on a tire swing

– Then we hopped on the Metro and went to the Building Museum for The Big Build Day. Big Build day is kind of an open house where the Museum is free for the day and they have all sorts of building related activities for kids. The place was kind of a zoo and very crowded, but we got to do some fun things like sit in big trucks and use power tools.

– Then we Metroed back to our car, came home and had snack dinner while watching The Thundermans. Well, the kids watched The Thundermans while I read my book, which made for a very pleasant evening.

Then the kids went to bed and I stayed up late to clean while watching Miss Fisher’s Modern Murder Mysteries, which I’m finding fun, but not as good as the original series. I had thought to go to bed early to take advantage of the end of Daylight Savings, but … bedtime is still my nemesis and I stayed up several hours past midnight. I did set all the clocks back before I went to bed, so I would have the illusion of getting up earlier.

This morning started off with the baby crawling into bed to cuddle, then around 5am, she starts yelling at me, “Breakfast! Breakfast! Breakfast!!!!” She clearly did not understand the idea of falling back an hour. I turned over in bed and she eventually got out of bed and left the room. I’m not sure what happened next with the kids, but when I woke up two hours later, the kids were in the basement watching High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. As annoyed as I was that they were watching TV without permission, I guess I should be glad that they were quiet and occupied and didn’t burn the house down while I slept.

Anyhow I got up, we got on with our morning, and even managed an hour of cleaning the toy room before I had to go to work. Getting the toy room cleaned was a minor miracle. I had been starting to stress out about how messy the house was – hence the post midnight cleaning session last night. Previous attempts this weekend to get the kids to clean involved yelling, foot stomping and much exasperation in the face of their apathy towards the state of the house. Eventually I left it and this morning I decided to try again. After much infuriating resistance, I took a breath and asked the five year old why he didn’t like picking up and he says, “Because it is boring.”

Well he’s not wrong there. I always entice myself to clean by watching something while I did it; I only let myself watch Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries while cleaning. So I said to the kids, “What if I let you listen to some favorite music while you clean?” This was eagerly accepted. So I put on some Hamilton and then some Taylor Swift and we set the toy room in order. Music while cleaning is not a new or novel concept in our house, but I always forget that it’s a great inducement. Part of me thinks, “They should just pick up because I’m asking them!” That’s hardly fair to them, though. If I can’t expect myself to clean up without some music or tv show, I can hardly expect them to.

In the end, the kids did not all clean equally – the ten year old did more than her fair share, but everyone did something. It wasn’t painless, but it got done. I do feel as if we have too many toys and bits and bobs, but I don’t know where to even begin the process of weeding it all down. Part of the issue is, even if the oldest kid has outgrown something, I feel like I have to hold on to it for the sake of the little ones. I need to figure out how to cull the toy room before Christmas, though.

So we cleaned then the sitter came, I took the ten year old to swim clinic and went to work. After work, I did a grocery run for tomorrow’s camping trip then came home and the Husband had returned from his trip to New York, bearing the fattest, doughiest, bagels I had ever seen. And the Giant was out of Philadelphia cream cheese, which is a minor annoyance, but seemed large in the moment. So we had an evening as a family – one of those noisy evenings where we are all exhausted, but the kids chatter endlessly and jump all over us, but being inert on the couch is a perfectly fine response. I still haven’t made campsite reservations or pulled out the camping gear, but I think it will be fine. I looked at the website and there are still lots of camp sites open. I’ll push publish then go finish packing before I turn in for the night. It feels like a lot of work for one night of camping, but this might be the last warm spell for a while and there is still a bit of fall colour to enjoy, so while I waffled on whether or not to go camping, I think we will have a good time.

So all in all a good weekend – twenty four hours solo with the kids. The house was kind of a sty, but we managed to ameliorate that somewhat. I have decided that these one off days when I’m solo parenting, the goals are: sleep, food, family harmony, and fun. Cleaning the house is clearly not a priority.