weekly menu – Page 3 – Life Off Headset

Weekly recap + what we ate: better late than never – April aspirations

So I had a realization this week that between April 2nd and April 25th, I will have had exactly ONE day off work. Actually for the whole month of April, I will have three days off. We work a six day week when we’re in rehearsal, so it’s not as out of the ordinary as it sounds to have only a handful of days off – and of course, some of these long weeks is self inflicted because on last week’s day off, I had to work my supertitle gig. But still. Ooof. If I ever wonder why I feel so behind this month, this is why. I find myself re-writing the same to do list week to week and never being able to cross anything off. I did make a March reflection/ April aspiration list while on the plane home from California from Spring Break- so even though April is over half way over, I thought I’d share the list – you know, just another thing that’s behind these days….

March highlights:
-Spring Break trip to Berkeley and San Francisco – this was for sure the high highlight. I promise to finish the recaps, including the details on the trip to the emergency room.
-Lenten Women’s Group. This group that met Tuesday nights during Lent provided so much connection and thoughtful reflection.
-Going to lots of theatre, but especially the local high school production of Beauty and the Beast.
-Watercolour class. I learned SO much in this class.
-a really quick trip to see the cherry blossoms – literally a 15 minute run before a work meeting. I used to think going to see the cherry blossoms was something for tourists, but I’ve grown to love the magical feeling of walking among the trees in bloom, and now I feel like they are a yearly must see.
-On the work front – figuring out a new sign in sheet system for performers. Something that’s needed a bit of reform for a while and I’m so relieved that we’ve started to implement the new system. There are still some things to work out, but it’s a start.
-Daylight Saving and longer days and warmer weather.
-Going running with the 12 year old. Once.
– Dinner with a beloved colleague.

Lowlights – I’m not sure if there are any specific lowlights in March. Well, maybe the Emergency Room trip with the four year old, but even that was pretty chill once we got there. There is the daily tediousness of kids and chores and screentime struggles. I guess for me also, not having time to journal, which then makes it feel like life is slipping by unremarked upon, which always, for some reason, makes me panic a little and sends me into an existential spiral. Looking back, the are mostly the same lowlights as last month. I wonder what that says – maybe I’m stuck in a rut?

April Aspirations:
– ~~Taxes~~. Done by the end of the first week of April, which is early for us, but our tax guy had implemented an April 1st deadline for tax documents, which is helpful. Next year I need to do better accounting for our rental property, though. It was harder than it had to be this year.
-Research options to get rid of my car. (Still – have not made any progress on this one.)
-Process Amazon and Duluth Trading company returns. (The Amazon one is done. The Duluth one is complicated, so the box just sits forlornly in my bedroom.)
-Submit forms for the 4 year old’s early admittance to kindergarten.
-Purge the toy room.
-Finalize summer camp schedules. I think I forgot to sign up the 12 year old for basketball camp. I need to check on that one.
– Things that need replacing – 1) my purse/crossbody bag had a huge hole in the outside lining so needs to be replaced, 2) I need new sandals for summer, and 3) a new Yeti travel tumbler since I lost mine two months ago and it is nearing iced chai season for me, 4) maybe, for fun, new linen pants for the summer. Though I don’t find pants fun anymore.
-Decide on our Asia Trip.
-Mow the lawn twice. I promised that Husband that instead of hiring a yard service I would trade off mowing the lawn with him. He has now mowed twice and I have mowed not at all.

Okay, I am realizing that I’ve been blogging on and on about needing to get rid of my car and purge toys and what not for about five months now. I should make some movement on those so I can start griping about new things.

So the ironic thing is the Husband took the kids camping with friends this past weekend, and I didn’t go because I had to work. And I thought, “Great! House to myself! I’ll knock out some of those April Aspirations!” NOPE. The first night, I got home, picked up/tidied the living room, cleaned the kitchen, made baked chick peas, did a full load of laundry and then was too exhausted to even read my book. Saturday night was even worse, because for some reason I was soooooo tired, though I did manage to fold and put away that laundry that I started the night before. It’s so annoying how little life tasks got in the way of bigger life tasks.

Sunday morning, I drove up to the campground, which is only 40 minutes away, and hung out for an hour before having to head in to work. I had expected to show up in time to help the Husband break down the camp, but when I got there at 8:45am, he had already taken the whole thing down. My kids were eating breakfast out of red solo cups and barely said hello to me before running off into the woods with the other kids. Feeling pretty useless, I settled into a camp chair, wrapped in a blanket that my friend’s mom piled on me, pet the dog and just chatted with everyone until I had to go to work.

We had a weekend of really big rehearsals. The show I’m working on has a lot of people – 58 choristers, 12 supers, 10 dancers, 20 children, and 7 principal singers. That’s 107 people in the room. Well 100 on Sunday because some people were excused from that rehearsal. It is it’s own brand of organized chaos. I spent a lot of Sunday in dance rehearsals – the dancers set their choreography separately and then we merge them in with the singers. I find dance so fascinating – the process is mind boggling to me, how the choreographer says a few words, makes some slight movements, and out of it comes gorgeous feats of athleticism and movement. It’s such a different creative process and language from working with singers or actors. And how dancers remember all the steps and sequences – I am in awe.

Other fun things this week:
-Carpet of blossoms at the bus stop. The Kwanzan cherry blossoms, which bloom about two weeks after the Yoshina blossoms on the Mall. I love their huge puffs of pinkness. At our school bus stop, there is a Kwanzan cherry tree and the petals are starting to shed, making a bubble gum pink carpet on the green grass. I love the colour palette they make up:

And the four year old likes throwing the petals in the air like confetti:

– The vocal recital that I did the supertitles for this week featured the world premiere of a new song cycle. I thought it a beautiful piece, and especially loved the poetry. The text is by poet Jeanne Minahan, and a lot of the poems were about new parenthood. I loved these lines from a poem called After:

They say I gave you birth,
I think they may be wrong,
you bore me from that place
of no return, you pulled me
from myself, I’ve learned.

Sometimes I feel like that – like I don’t feel like the same person I was before I had kids – that they unearthed something in me, or perhaps because of them I’ve had to find a little bit more focus in myself.

-On the day of the recital, I had a really long dinner break. The weather was gorgeous – blazingly hot and sunny, and almost summer like, only without the oppressive humidity of deep summer. So I took a walk to Georgetown and treated myself to a boba tea. There are three or four boba places in Georgetown and I’m determined to try them all. I didn’t get out on a walk every day this week, so taking a walk on my dinner break felt amazing. I passed a guy playing bagpipes on a corner:

Squint to see the bagpiper. Hearing music unexpectedly is always so lovely.

Outside the boba place was this fun mural:

The actual boba place was okay- I liked that you could get your tea black and they had lychee jelly. I ordered a black oolong tea, 30% sugar, with boba and lychee jelly. It was fine, except the tea was still warm – a good sign because that meant it was freshly brewed and not powder- but I did want a cold drink and it took a while for the tea to chill because it had been hot. The other funny thing was that the place insisted that you order via a kiosk. When I got there , there was a group of college girls there (I think they were college age – I can’t tell how old anyone is anymore). They were all speaking French so i guessed that they were exchange students or something. But they apparently couldn’t pay via credit card and were super confused and ended up going to the counter and asking the lady at the register how to pay since they only had cash. The lady at the register took their order and payment at the register. Which made me feel like, “Why do I have to use a kiosk?” I hate using kiosks. Oh well. But watching these young ladies, I was full of admiration – I had badly wanted to study abroad in college and I didn’t manage to work up the courage to do so – but what a great adventure it must be for them to be living in a foreign country and have to navigate things like kiosks at the boba place. There is so much to learn about navigating life that I now take for granted, but I know that when I was young, the world was bewildering.

Boba and Georgetown canals and sunshine. A nice evening. Also – look how bright it is at 6:30pm!!!

Grateful For:
-Windows in our rehearsal hall. I’m pretty sure this has been on my list before, but it is still a wonderful thing. I’ve spent many a rehearsal process in windowless rooms, so to be able to rehearse in a room with floor to ceiling windows feels so luxurious. The other day, during a particularly tedious rehearsal, I was able to look out the window and see all the beautiful pink clouds of sunset and it was such a stunning little pick me up.

-The monitor set up that the Husband put in our guest room for when one of us has to work from home. When the Husband first set up two external monitors and a set of speakers on our little Ikea desk, i thought it was overkill. But now I fully admit, it is an awesome set up. When I had to format supertitles this week, it was amazing to be able to run the slides on one screen, edit them on another and have the original text up for comparison on a third. Plus, I can play the music via the speakers and actually give the titles a test run. It’s all so much more efficient than clicking back and forth, minimizing and maximizing screens when I need to look at one thing or another.

-Living walking distance to a Metro station. On Saturday, I biked to work, but then when I left it was dark and I still don’t have lights on my bike, so I was able to take the Metro home. It was really nice not to have to worry about how I was going to get home.
Although, on my way out of the Metro, I saw a sign:

Our stop is going to be closed basically ALL SUMMER. That is going to really suck.

Looking Forward To:
– Lunch with some people from my Mom’s group. Only one person could make it to the April meet up, but I think two or three can make it this time. It will be nice to catch up.
-Mowing the lawn. I actually don’t mind mowing the lawn, especially since we now have an electric lawnmower and it isn’t as loud or smelly as the gas one we used to have. And it is an excuse to be outside. I don’t do much yardwork – the mosquitoes and the fear of pulling up the wrong plants keep me away. But mowing… I actually look forward to.
-Just started this audiobook – picked because Richard Armitage (who was oh so dreamy in North and South) narrates it. The novel is gripping and feels appropriate reading for the time/times, but so very sad so far. I don’t know if I’ll make it all the way through right now – I think I may need a lighter audiobook to get through tech week. (I’m open to suggestions for audio books!)

-mornings off. Our rehearsal schedule is entering a period when we mostly work afternoon and evenings, so I’ll have a couple mornings off this week. Goals – take care of some of those April aspirations, run, meal prep. Of course this means that the Husband will be home almost every night on his own with the kids. I think a room full of 100 performers is much easier than 3 kids. At least when I tell the chorus what to do, they just do it and don’t argue with me.

What We Ate: I didn’t really meal plan this week because there were a lot of variables going on. I’ll need to do some prep this week and next, since I’ll be going into tech week the first week of May. (Also – how is next week the first week of MAY already?!?!?!)

Monday: Bean and parmesan soup, made in the InstantPot, with leftovers which I was able to freeze.

Tuesday: The Husband made pasta and green beans for the kids. I worked and ate leftovers.

Wednesday: The Husband and the kids went to dinner with a friend while I worked. I had leftovers again. And a massaged Kale salad with cheddar, apples, avocados, and pepitas.

Thursday: The Husband made mac and cheese from scratch for the kids. I was working this night and had a salad from the canteen at work.

Friday: I had leftovers (soup), the Husband and kids were camping and ate camp food, not sure what. .

Saturday: I had a kale salad and the leftover Mac and cheese – basically scrounge around in the salad and leftover-eating.

Sunday: The Husband brought home pizza. I had leftover pizza when I got home from work.

Weekly recap + what we ate + where I went

Still so many blossoms to enjoy! Spring!

I read an interesting diary method once that consisted merely of recording where one went. I thought it was an interesting idea, so here is last week, with approximate travel times.

Monday:
8:50am home –> school bus (5 minutes away)
9:15pm school bus drop –> work (rehearsal studio, 15 minutes)
3:00pm work –> nearby field to catch the Eclipse (10 minute walk)
4:00pm field –> work after Eclipse (10 minutes walk)
7:00pm work –> home (17 minutes)

Tuesday:
8:50am home –> school bus (5 minutes away)
9:15am school bus –> community college campus for art class (10 minutes)
12:30pm community college campus –> work (10 minutes)
6:45pm work –> home (17 minutes)
7:15pm walk around the block, after realizing that I hadn’t walked all day. (25 minutes)

Wednesday (kids were off school this day – the Husband worked from home):
7:10am home –> piano teacher’s house for kid #1’s lessons (7 minutes away)
7:17am piano lesson –> gas station (3 minutes away – my routine of getting gas while kids are at piano lessons – that way I do it every week and it’s a fixed thing in my schedule rather than a moveable one.)
7:30am gas station –> home to pick up kid #2 for piano lesson –> back to piano teacher’s house (17 mins, we were a little late for lessons. Usually all the kids ride along, but since the Husband was working from home, I took one kid at a time)
8:17am piano teacher’s house –> home (7 minutes)
9:00am home –> voice teacher’s house with kid #1 (25 mins – she usually has lessons on the weekend, but we had to reschedule last week’s lesson)
9:30am voice teacher’s house –> walk around the block while waiting for kid #1 to finish her lesson (25 mins)
10:05am voice teacher’s house –> home (25 mins)
11:00am home –> work (15 mins, while sitting in on a work call on zoom)
6:45pm work –> home (17 mins)

Thursday:
8:50am home –> school (10 mins). Actually to parking lot on the trail leading up to school. My friend who lived by the bus stop said that there was a water main break on her street and that it might be best just to drive the kids to school that day in case the bus was late. I parked on the trail because I kind of hate being in the carpool line –> walk up the trail to school with the kids.
9:15a school –> walk back to car –> home (15 mins)
9:50a home –> work via bike (25 mins)
1:15pm work –> Mexican restaurant for lunch (12 mins, walk)
2:30pm Mexican restaurant –> back to work (12 mins, walk)
6:45pm work –> home via bike (30 mins, going home is uphill, so takes longer)

Friday:
8:50am – home –> school bus stop (5 mins)
9:20am – school bus stop –> work (15 mins)
1:00pm work –> walk around the block on my lunch break (30 mins)
7:15pm work –> home (15 mins)

Saturday (Day off of work)
9:30am home –> voice teacher’s house for kid #1’s lesson (28 mins)
10:35am voice teacher’s house –> home (30 mins, google maps took me through the city for some reason.)
11:50am home –> soccer field for kid #2’s soccer practice and game (15 mins)
12:30pm soccer field –> coffee shop – while the 7 year old had practice, I went on a sort of run with the 12 year old, bribing her to run with the prospect of a treat at the end. (25 mins)
1:10pm coffee shop –> soccer field, walked back to the soccer game (25 mins)
1:50pm soccer field –> home (15 mins)
2:15pm home –> friend’s house in Virginia for cookout (45 mins – I vacillate between thinking Virginia is too far to go to visit friends, and thinking that it’s quite close and should go more often. But the GPS took us through the city, which isn’t ever that fun, so today Virginia felt very far away.)
6:30pm friend’s house –> home (35 mins – GPS took us home via the beltway. There must have some bad traffic on the beltway earlier in the day.)

Sunday
8:50am – home –> Agility Center for kid #3’s Agility Class (15 mins)
9:15am – Agility Center –> Grocery Store (5 mins). I usually stay and do some work on my laptop during agility class, but this was the only window for picking up some groceries this day. Around here, Sunday evening produce is pretty sad, so better to go earlier. I don’t like leaving because I’m worried I’ll lose track of time or that my kid will need me. But I set an alarm for 30 mins and just went for it.
9:38am – Grocery –> Back to Agility Center (5 mins) in time to see the 4 year old do some seat drops on the trampoline.
10:00am – Agility Center –> Home (15 mins)
10:55am Home –> Ice Rink with Kids #2 and #2 for Skating Lessons. (12 mins)
11:30am Skating laps while the kids are in lessons. Not really travel related, but I was moving.
12:50pm Ice Rink –> work (25 mins)
1:20pm work –> Farmer’s Market to pick up something for lunch (yogurt drink and empanadas) and apples and carrots. (walking – 5 mins, then 10 min stroll around the market)
1:35pm Farmer’s Market –> Work (5 mins)
6:00pm Work –>Home (15 mins)

Some thoughts on the week:
-I spent 8.5 hours in a car this week. That seems like a lot – that’s almost 20% of my week. And it will be more when we are at the theatre because that commute is closer to 30 mins.
-it was pretty typical for a working week in that most of it was the quadrangle of home to school bus drop off to work to home.
-I don’t really have a “third place”. I don’t know if I really have time for a third place.
-Wednesdays are exhausting, and there was more going on this Wednesday than normal. But I think between me and the Husband who worked from home with the kids that day, he definitely had the more exhausting day.
-One of the longest time in the car was taking the 12 year old to voice lessons 25-30 minutes away. Some days this is more like 35 mins. I really like this voice teacher and I think she is teaching the 12 year old good things (like how to keep time by conducting – I wish someone had taught me conducting patterns when I was starting out as a musician.), but I do wish the teacher lived closer.
-The grocery run was a little atypical. I don’t tend to run errands or do shopping when I’m working. Sometimes if I’ll pick up groceries on the way home if I need to, but mostly the Husband does the grocery shopping.
-getting off work at 6:45/7:00pm is annoying because it is too late to join the family for dinner or do anything after work, but is still close enough to bedtime that I’m tired when I get home. Also getting off at 7:00pm means going in around 11am or noon, and I don’t think I always make good use of that extra morning time. But maybe I should re-evaluate things and have a list of mini tasks I can do when I have that extra hour in the morning.

Anyhow – other things this week:

My watercolour homework, on the tea pot theme – I painted this sort of from a picture. I think the teacup turned out better than the teapot – the handle of the teapot is not quite right, but I think I got better by the time I did the teacup. Here’s the original sketch:

Here’s the painting – I’ve learned that a lighter hand is better with watercolours.

In class, we painted landscapes:

Last week was my last watercolour class. I’ve really enjoyed the class and the weekly assignments. There is one more class next week, but I have to be in rehearsals at that time, so I will have to miss it.

The Eclipse – I was a little “meh” about the eclipse going into the week. I guess I never really registered that it was happening so I didn’t get excited about it. But then I got to work and people were very excited – our general director did not give use the day off, but did say we should all step away from our desk to see it. So I went to the costume shop and asked if they had any shoeboxes and I used the shoe box and some tin foil and tape to make one of those viewers. And then around 3:00, a bunch of us trekked out to a park for a viewing. Our area was only in 87% totality, but it still got a little dark – there were points when I couldn’t tell if it was the eclipse that caused the world to go a little grey or if the sun just went behind some clouds. We all stood around, sharing glasses and chatting and it was a very nice break in the day. I was actually really excited that my shoebox viewer worked to show. Science!

Bare legs and just walking out the door! We had our first week of sunny and warm weather. So sunny and warm, it bordered on being summer. I’m not ready for summer, but the sunshine and clear skies is a good start. I left the house one day and looked down and realized that I was not wearing leggings under my dress, and the sensation of having my legs bare again was lovely. Plus… now that the weather had warmed up, it is “Walk out of the house without anything but your wallet and keys” weather. Just being able to walk out the door and not have to nag/wrangle kids into coats… well that just makes the mornings so much easier. This weekend I also rotated the winter coats into the closet and the raincoats onto the kids’ coat rack. Only then I realized that the kids still needed their winter coats for skating lessons and had to dig them back out.

Although… I was lulled by the warm sunny weather into leaving the house without a jacket on Sunday when we were going to the ice rink! And I tried to convince the 7 year old that he didn’t need me to skate with him, yet he insisted that I did. I was wearing a tank dress with a short sleeved shirt over it. It made for very cold skating. Let me tell you – it is a lot harder to balance while rubbing your arms for warmth.

Ants. Perhaps because of all the rain we’ve been having, there have been ants coming in and out of the house. The 4 year old has decided that the ants are her pets and she actually put food out for them in the yard. Not sure if this is problematic or not. There was one day, when she came up to me, oh so very very very excitedly , and she said with such joy, “My pets are in the dishwasher!!!” I was very confused but then I saw the ants crawling into the dishwasher, and I felt simultaneously charmed by the 4 year old’s reaction and also just… ick!

I am technologically challenged:
-Wednesday, I had back to back meetings at work, both of which I could just sit in on and not participate too much. The first one I dialed in from my phone because I had just got home from the 12 year old’s voice lesson. I started the call at home, got in the car, drove to work, then finished the call sitting at my desk. The second call, I logged on to my computer, opened up Teams, clicked on my calendar, then clicked on the link in the calendar for the meeting. The window popped up, then I minimized it so I could check email while waiting for all the participants to join. Well, the meeting got started and I went to click on Teams to maximize the window… and I couldn’t find the meeting. I could heard everyone talking, but I couldn’t figure out what I did with the window where the meeting was. I clicked on Teams again and again, closed some windows, moved other windows around… and the meeting still wouldn’t appear. It was like looking for my lost keys – move things aside in hopes of finding it, but no such luck. And now they were doing introductions and I was muted and I didn’t know how I was going to unmute and introduce myself if I couldn’t find the window where the call was taking place and I started to panic and spiral. And then… just in the nick of time I realized…. the meeting was on Zoom. Not Teams. Feeling like an idiot, I clicked over to my internet browser (because my work desktop is so old that I don’t have Zoom installed), and there everyone was. I unmuted myself just in time to introduce myself.

-Then I had to hook up my computer to a large tv monitor so that we could do a zoom presentation where the speakers would zoom in to a room of people. I was trying to figure out how to adjust the volume on the tv speakers and I couldn’t figure it out. There was no button visible on the monitor and whatever I was pressing on the remote just kept muting the sound. It was a universal remote and very sleek. Almost too sleek. I think the same could be said of the monitor. Everyone wants sleek aesthetics. Heaven forbid you put a button somewhere intuitive to find and operate!

I eventually had to google the remote to find directions. Turns out. the horizontal button by my thumb… you can toggle that up or down to control volume. Oh. My. Gosh. I didn’t even consider that as an option. Don’t buttons just get pushed?

Ethical dilemma – at the 7 year old’s soccer game, the 4 year old threw up in the grass. Not sure what is going on – some kind of virus – the 7 year old was actually sent home from school yesterday for vomiting on his chromebook. Well, because he vomited, not just because it was his chromebook. But then the teacher sent the chrome book home for us to wipe down. I’m a little mystified by that because she had called building services to wipe down his desk – couldn’t they have also done his chrome book? I mean I don’t envy anyone having to clean up vomit, but as long as you’re there… Anyhow – back to the 4 year old and her vomit in the grass. I didn’t have the supplies to clean it up, so we gathered a bunch of leaves and mulch and covered it up. And then I told the parents coming for the next game so they wouldn’t step in it. Though I went back and forth on telling the other parents because one the one hand I was kind of embarrassed that my kid puked on the field and maybe running into icky things out in the wild is par for the course and we did heap leaves on it. But it’s VOMIT. Wait, now that I type that out, I see what a silly internal dilemma that was. OF COURSE you should tell someone if they are about to step in vomit. Wow, where’s my moral compass?

Grateful For:
-My bike for being good form of exercising and commuting all in one. I love things that do more than one thing.

-My car. Because it rained on Thursday and Friday so I couldn’t bike to work. But I could still drive.

-Wifi at the Agility Center. Waiting for kids to get done with classes or activities can feel like a time suck. I’m always trying to figure out how to be productive with those 30-60 minute chunks of time while I wait. Sometimes I will go for a short run, sometimes I’ll read or journal. For those times, though, when I’m coming up on a deadline and need to get some work done, I am grateful for parent waiting rooms with wifi.

-Cozy, cuddly evening in. I’m about to start working A LOT of evening rehearsals so have been savoring the evenings at home watching Bad Batch with the kids. Whenever we can and the laundry cycle lines up, we like to all wear our matching flannel lounge pants that we had gotten in Vermont two years ago:

– Blossoms that are beautiful and oh so fragrant. One my walk during the 10 year old’s piano lesson, I walked past this bush and the smell was so sweetly floral. I’m grateful that I can enjoy smelling the flowers – literally, and, I suppose figuratively.

Looking Forward To:
-Starting rehearsals. We’re at the point where there are many questions and we just have to start rehearsal to answer them.

-Voice recital this coming week for which I am doing supertitles. It’s my last voice recital for the season – well, there’s one more recital, but I can’t work that date, so for that one I’m just creating the translation slides and marking the music and then I’ll pass it along to someone else to go on the day of the concert to run the slides. (I don’t actually do the translations – the singer are supposed to provide that.) I’m looking forward to this concert – there is a world premiere song cycle and lots of Argentinian music and a bandeneon!

-Started this book as part of Mother/Daughter book club. The 12 year old really liked this book and gave it to me to read. It’s by the same author as Dial A for Aunties, which I thought was a fun, if slightly ridiculous book. This book seems a little dark. Not quite sure where it’s going.

View Post

What We Ate: I did not make it home for dinner any night this week, so we did some very strict meal planning, and I think it was a good dinner week – no desperation dinners, yet lots of pantry meals.

Monday: Butter Chicken in Instant Pot from the internet famous Butter Chicken Lady.

Tuesday: The Husband cooked – pasta, shrimp, and alfredo sauce.

Wednesday: Black Bean Chili from Smitten Kitchen’s Keepers. I thought this had a really interesting method where you roast (or broil) poblanos, garlic, and onions until charred, chop it (in a food processor) and use that as the chili base. It was pretty tasty. Vegan.

Thursday: Bahn Mi bowls (sort of this recipe, but we eat it over noodles) with tofu ground “meat”. This is in our regular rotation. It’s pretty quick and very flavorful- I made the tofu ground “meat” and chopped the vegetables ahead of time. The husband made the noodles, and sauteed the tofu to reheat for dinner.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and movie night. I was working so missed out. Apparently the Husband tried to show the kids the Batman movie with Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson, but the kids deemed it too scary. Then he showed them Raising Arizona, which I don’t know that the Cohen brothers ever made a family friendly movie, so that was kind of a bust too and they ended up watching an episode of Bad Batch.

Saturday: Went to friend’s house to grill out. Our first grilling of the season! We had burgers, asparagus, salad, and potatoes salad (a very tasty version mad with dill and mustard rather than mayonaise). For dessert we brought an assortment of Hostess snack cakes – for some reason we were feeling nostalgic and went to the store and bought all the Hostess snack cakes we could find – twinkies, sno balls, ho hos, cupcakes. It was a fun exercise. Also – she had just come back from Texas with a 10 lb bag of pecans and taught me how to crack pecans together to get to the meat. A new skill for me! How cozy do the pecans look, all nestled in their shell!

Sunday: I worked so I had leftovers from the fridge when I got home. The Husband made dumplings and green beans for dinner for everyone else.

I saw this sign at my friend’s house this week, and it made me laugh, so I took a picture and sent it to my Husband, with the appropriate edits. Tell me what made you laugh this week?

Weekly recap + what we ate: A week of theatre

I’ve been knee deep the previous few weeks in getting ready for our Sprig Break trip, but here are some random going’s on in this neck of the woods….

Through some coincidence, a few weeks ago was quite a theatre filled week.

Saturday, I went to the opening night of the show the Opera was putting on. I had seen the dress rehearsal, but then I got an invite to the opening night party and thought it might be fun to see the show again and then go to the party. However, I didn’t have anything to wear to a semi-fancy shindig. The past couple of opening night parties that I’ve been invited to, I’ve always been working, so I’ve gone to the parties in the black clothes that I wore to run the show. Nothing fancy, but I think people understand that I was coming straight from working the show, so it was okay. But this was different because I got to go to the show and then was coming to the party, so I felt like I did have to get somewhat dressed up and it had been aaaaages since I had done that. I think last time I had to get dressed up, I had a Rent the Runway subscription and found something that way. Also last time I was six months pregnant and hadn’t told anyone at work, so there was that added layer of finding the right dress And I feel like my body is very different from back then, even when I was six months pregnant.

I ordered a bunch of dresses off Amazon – did you know that Amazon has a partnership with Rent the Runway and sell their dresses? So I ordered some. But they hadn’t arrived by Saturday morning, and I was starting to get a little nervous. Then I realized the 4 year old had been invited to a birthday party at a play space in the mall. I emailed the host, “So…. is this a drop off party?”

Side note – I think this might be a statement of the evolution of my (lack of) parenting concern. There was no way eight years ago when my oldest was 4 that I would have left her at a drop off party at a hugely public place like the mall. I think even at someone’s house, I still would have thought twice unless I knew the parents really well. But with my current third child 4 year old… drop off parties are golden to me. You want to take my child for two hours? Please and thank you!

So I dropped of the 4 year old at the party and then took myself to Macy’s where I tried on a couple of things, got discouraged and sad and then I found something that wasn’t terrible – it was flowy and light, but even though it was a fun print, it was black and grey, colours I usually avoid. I wear so much black for work, I try not to wear it in life. So I was about to get the just okay dress, when I walked by a rack and my eye was caught by a bright red dress. I love red. It’s my favorite colour to wear, so I was immediately smitten. Only when I looked more closely, the dress turned out to be a jumpsuit. And I’ve always said that I’m not a jumpsuit person. How do I even pee in it?!? And I put the jumpsuit back. Then took another lap and came back to the jumpsuit and thought, “Okay, I’ll just try it on to see.” And it turned out to look kind of cute and I loved the colour, so I put aside my fears of not being able to pee quickly when I need to and bought the jumpsuit dress and hoped that I had an appropriate bra to wear with it.

Well, when I got home, I found that all the dresses I had bought from Amazon had arrived after all, so I tried them on, and I realize that my middle region is not longer ideal for comfortably wearing cocktail attire – or maybe it still is, only I would have to redefine my idea of “comfortable” to include sucking in my stomach constantly. But I go to opening night parties in large part for the free fancy food, so sucking in my gut was not going to solve anything. So even though I thought some of the dresses stunning, I decided to send them all back and wear the red jumpsuit. I paired it with my blazer, a purple scarf around the waist to give some shape, and the one pair of heels I own, which are super comfy until you take them off and then you realize that, no, actually, they weren’t that comfortable to begin with.

Anyhow, the show was delightful, the party afterwards was lovely and I got to ride hime with my work BFF, which is always nice because when we are in production, I sometimes don’t get to see her much since we work in different (though adjacent) departments.

The next day, was a) daylights savings, b) a family trip to see the high school production of Beauty and the Beast, and c) the Oscars. Daylight saving certainly crept up on me- I got hime after midnight from the opening night party and as I was puttering around pre-bed, it hit me- “Oh nuts! I have to set the clocks forward!” Then forgot and the next morning realized at 7:45 that it was actually 8:45 and we were going to be late for agility class (me and the 4 year old) and church (the Husband and the other two kids.).

Beauty and the Beast at the local high school was the second theatre excursion for me that week. This time, the whole family went, even the little kids. When I was growing up, our high school did not do musicals, so I’m kind of new to the whole “high school musical” thing. I didn’t know what to expect, and tried to go in with no expectations. It ended up being a really great time. There was low level theatre magic, a cast of many many many enthusiastic teenagers, and some very talented ones. There were body mics and follow spots and a full orchestra in the pit. What a huge undertaking! I’ll definitely be going to more in the future. I sometimes feel that I’ve spoiled my kids by taking them to a fair bit of professional theatre and opera, and lately I’ve been thinking that we should go to different levels of theatre so that they get a sense of the full breadth of theatre and know that it doesn’t have to be Broadway to be worth seeing. Sure a high school production is not going to be as flashy or polished as a professional show, but there is, I think, just as much value in theatre as a community activity. There is something really special about how theatre can build a community of makers and and those who participate and support them as the audience.

The third show I saw in the week was the touring production of Sondheim’s Company – his musical about a perpetually s8ngle New Yorker and his married friends. I had gotten tickets a few weeks before and lined up a sitter so that the Hsuband and I could go. I had been on the fence about going but then a friend of mine texted and said, “If you have a chance to go, the sets and scene shifts are worth it.” So I got tickets.

Only the day of the show, our sitter never showed up. She was supposed to come at 6:30pm, and we waited until 7pm. (In retrospect, I hope she is okay… I should check in with her. We’ve used her several times before, and she isn’t always prompt, but 30 minutes late is kind of a lot. The whole things is kind of discouraging; we have had terrible luck with sitters, and as much as I would love to have a date night once in a while, it has proven very difficult to find a reliable sitter. Well, next year the oldest child can legally babysit so maybe that will help solve things a little.)

Anyhow, at 7pm, it was decided that I should take the 12 year old and the Husband would stay home with the other kids. Not the evening of theatre that I had planned, but it would have to do. I had qualms about whether or not the show was appropriate for a 12 year old, but I figured she would understand it or not and we could talk about it. Or not. So we jumped in the car and raced down to the theatre, only missing the first five minutes of the show.

The show was quite well done, and my friend was right, it was technically very fluid. This production of Company does some gender switching so that the lead is now female instead of male – Bobbie instead of Bobby. Some of the gender switching worked for me and some of it didn’t quite. “Getting Married Today” was brilliantly funny. “Another Hundred People” had so much energy and momentum. “You Could Drive Personal Crazy”, in the other hand, didn’t quite work for me- it just felt like a campy musical number and none of these men seemed like they would really date Bobbie.

I think my biggest issue with this production, and maybe actually with Company in general, is that Bobbie/Bobbie is not a very interesting character. I know the show is a series of vignettes about single life, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care whether or not Bobbie found her way. And maybe this is also where I am in life right now- I remember seeing Company when I was in my 20s and the story spoke to me a lot more. But watching the perpetually and willfully single now is just not as appealing. I feel like I’ve lived through that, and it’s just a hair stressful to watch it onstage. So upshot for me: entertaining, love the music, but dramatically a little “meh”.

When I asked the 12 year old what she thought of the show, she said, “I like opera more. At least with opera there is a dramatic story.” I thought that was a hilarious observation.

Drawing class– colored pencils, (Also side note – when I was growing up in Canada, we called these pencil crayons, but in Marica they are called colored pencils and no one knows what I’m talking about when I say pencil crayons).

This flower painting is the first homework assignment and it featuresa variety of colored pencil techniques. One of my favorite techniques, which proves quite tricky is shaving pencil lead onto wet paper to create the “sparkle” at the top of the flowers, I think it would be cooler if I could distribute the shavings better rather than it clumping like it did in the picture.

The second homework assignment was apples on a branch:. I’m actually really pleased with how the leaves turned out. I think the more I do this, the better I get at drawing what things look like rather than what I think it should be, breaking visual elements down into lines and spaces rather than just drawing a “leaf”. The details of the apple could be better- the one on the right is a little too round. Still, I do love how colored pencils make it easy to blend all the different apple colors.

And then- here is the in class assignment. I didn’t finish it in class, but I thought it is fun to see the difference between the apples that are painted watercolor pencil (the apples in front) and those that are just watercolor pencil that I didn’t have a chance to paint yet (those in back). I still have to add in the background and finish the detail on the table too.

Other lovely things:

Board game night with the family. We played Ticket to Ride and for the first time, no one knocked the trains askew or stole trains to play with. it was a really lovely night. I did win, but it was pretty nerve wracking for a minute – I had to build Seattle to New York, and wasn’t sure if I was going to make it…

-We have traded our Saturday mornings on the basketball court for Saturday mornings one the soccer field as one kids’ season ends and another kid’s season begins. During the first soccer game, I challenged my 12 year old to go running with me while the 7 year old had practice. To my surprise, she said yes. Two bribes, though – a) I had to let her listen to something or her own choosing, each of us taking one AirPod, and b) a special treat, so we stopped at a coffee shop on our run. We managed about 1.5 miles together, most of it not at all fast, but hey, I got my tween to come running with me, so that’s a win either way.

– I parallel parked my car on the first try! That made me ridiculously happy. It usually takes me an embarrassingly long time wiggling back and forth to make it. okay, the space was a good size, but still!

– The 12 year old was the Mystery Reader at the 4 year old’s classroom. She did an amazing job- engaged with the kids, and told them to sit down when they got too close. The four year old’s teacher asked if the school could hire the 12 year old because she was so good with kids.

– A satisfying purchase– this three month calendar.

We have a calendar in our dining room already, but I wanted something with a more long term view. Most of the three month calendars I found on Amazon only came in quarter years and I couldn’t tell if you had to re-write each month as you move it up the chain. I finally found this one and the brilliant thing about it is that each month is movable, so at the end of the month, you just pull it from it’s current coil and put it on the coil one slot up. Plus it has lines for writing, definitely pricier than the other options, but so much more functional.

But also- much as I love the new calendar, it makes me panic a little because when I can see the year three months at a time, it reminds me that May/summer is pretty close.

–PEAK BLOOM!!!!!! Okay, this is actually a few days before peak bloom, but I had to be downtown for a meeting so I decided to go in early and go for a run by the Tidal Basin. I really wanted to make a trip to the cherry blossoms happen this year because 150 or so of the trees will be chopped down this coming year so they can repair the retaining wall for the Tidal Basin. Makes me sad, but it seems a necessary safety issue. Anyhow, it was a short visit, but still stunning:

Grateful for:

-Evening light. The mornings have been a little rough, but how I love that the sun sets later. There is natural light in our dining room for dinner, there is light for walks after dinner, there is light to go to the park after the school bus gets in.

– Along those lines, I’m grateful that the 12 year old’s basketball workout is walking distance from home. It makes it an easy excuse for an evening walks.

– also along those lines, I’m grateful yfor neighborhood parks. We live within a 15 minute walk of three parks and now that there is more daylight, they have become an impromptu gathering spot. We will often run into families we know there and it just feels like one of the first signs of spring, all these people emerging from hibernation to gather at playgrounds again,

– and one more thing (I guess all my gratitudes this week are centered around the weather/time change) I’m grateful for the back patio and being able to eat outside. We have a couple month’s window when we can eat outside before the mosquitoes get fierce, and right now is the time. I love eating outside – it just makes a meal seem more like an intentional event.

– vegetables from our neighbor. our next door neighbor works at a Farmer’s market and periodically he will just drop off a bunch of vegetables for us. Thanks to him we were able to have some pretty vegetable heavy meals.

Looking forward to:

– new suitcases. My old suitcase was probably twenty yesrs old and the wheels had fallen apart, so I ordered two new suitcases to try out. I’m still on the fence as to carry on backpack vs. rolling suitcase, but I think this next trip is a rolling suitcase trip, so we’ll go with that. The little ones wear super excited by the box that the suitcases arrived in

-Spring break trip to see my brother. (We might already be there, actually… details to come,)

– going back to work on a show. I miss being in rehearsal and having structure to my days…

What we ate:

Sunday: snacks and leftovers. The 12 year old had swimming and it was Oscar night, so we kind of all just fended for ourselves. Some kids might have had popcorn for dinner,

Monday: tofu broccoli stir fry

Tuesday: my notes on this day are hazy. It says leftovers.

Wednesday: Kale paneer, from Meers Sodha’s East. With homemade paneer. I always thing it is too much work to make my own paneer than when is done it, I realize it is really simple and much easier than finding it in the store.

Thursday: sheet pan chicken and potatoes. I don’t cook meat as often as the kids would like, so I decided that since I was going to leave them with a sitter this evening, I would make them a chicken dinner. Well, this was the night the sitter didn’t show up…

Friday: pizza (take out) and the first Avengers movie.

Saturday: pan fried fish and green beans – the husband cooked.

Sunday: pasta salad with marinated beans. Jenny Rosenstrach’s marinated beans are amazing, it’s a quick and flavorful protein that can be eaten alone or added to salads or grains. I used them this night as the base for a pasta salad. Quick vegan pantry meal.

Monday: Eggplsnt stir fry- the Husband cooked. It had a tasty spicy gochujang sauce.

Tuesday: chicken curry in the Instant Pot, cucumber raita on the sideWe had a friend over for dinner and this was an easy, homey make-ahead meal.

Wednesday: Chicken curry leftovers, with eggs added. Egg curry was one of our favorite new meals last year and it worked really well to add boiled eggs to Tuesday’s chicken curry.

Thursday: Leftovers since we are trying to eat down the fridge.

Friday: tacos at my brother’s house in Berkeley!

Weekly recap + what we ate: Jane Eyre, Into the Fire and mild obsessions

So I spent the better part of the previous weekend before in bed. I had something, not sure what. A chest rattling cough, aches, general tiredness. At first I chalked it up to a lack of sleep, but I think I was more than that and I ended up taking to bed for most of Saturday.

The Husband will tell anyone that I am a terrible patient, I get restless and bored and can’t stay in bed. I try to get up and do things when I should be resting. I can’t just veg on the couch and binge watch something because I need to rest without my glasses on.

So in an attempt to make lying in bed less tedious, I decided to listen to cast albums of musicals which were new to me. I figured there would be music and a narrative that I could somewhat follow if I wanted and that could be a good combination of engaging /not engaging to keep me from bed tedium. I started by listened to How To Dance in Ohio – there was a recent New York Times article of recent musical cast albums of note and this was on the list. How to Dance in Ohio is a musical based on a documentary about a group of autistic young adults getting ready for a spring formal. The musical got a lot of attention for, in addition to other things, casting autistic individuals in the lead roles. It’s a poppy, heart felt musical.

Next, I put on Ride the Cyclone, a musical about a high school choir that dies in a roller coaster accident and they are given the opportunity to audition for a chance to come back to life. This one was dark, man. Very very dark.

For something completely different, I turned to the musical version of Jane Eyre, which debuted on Broadway in 2000. Jane Eyre is one of my favorite books and I’m always interested in versions of it. This is a musical in the vein of the musical of the 1990s – romantic, dark, emotional period pieces. Things that are unfashionable in a musical these days. Jane Eyre I found not as tuneful as some musicals and some dreadful liberties were taken with the story. Also – and perhaps this is just the nature of the source material – but it seems like all the good music goes to Mr. Rochester, all the tortured, soul bearing solos. And once in a while, I found myself thinking, “Well, yes, but what about Jane???”

Anyhow – slight tangent – that sent me down a rabbit hole with all the various film adaptations of Jane Eyre and watching clips of them on YouTube. I’ve seen most of the recent ones. Here’s my take:

Jane Eyre on screen: Clockwise from top: 1983, 1997, 1996, 2011, National Theatre Adaptation and 2006

– 1983 BBC miniseries with Timothy Dalton and Zelah Clarke. I think this adaptation included everything. Maybe? I saw this in high school so my memory is fuzzy. It was quite long and looked like it had all been shot on a soundstage. Timothy Dalton did ALOT of scenery chewing, I do remember that.

– 1997 TV movie with Samantha Morton and Ciaran Hinds. This version took many liberties with the book, which I guess you have to when condensing the book into a two hour movie, but still… why add needless action and out of character scenes? Some if it just didn’t feel in the spirit of the book. Not my favorite Rochester – I’ve loved Hinds in other things (the 1996 Persuasion, for example), but he was just too blustery and uncharismatic in this. Morton was fine as Jane. Honestly, I find that I love the character of Jane so much it’s hard to play her terribly – the source material is just really good. Sure one just has to be plain and mousy and passive for much of the movie, and as long as one hits the notes of ferocity in the right moments, one pretty much gets a passable version the character.

– 1996 movie with Charlotte Gainsbourg and William Hurt. I saw this in the movie theatre when it came out – I was in high school. What an odd odd pairing. William Hurt was much too old to be Rochester. I’m realizing that Rochester, while 20 years older than Jane is actually only in his later 30s, which, now that I’ve crossed into my 40s, seems much younger than it seemed to me when I first read the book as a teenager. So. William Hurt’s older and weary Rochester was perhaps a little too old and weary for me. Charlotte Gainsbourg was fine as Jane. This movie did also have the virtue of having Anna Paquin as young Jane.

-2006 mini series with Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens – Ruth Wilson is my favorite Jane. There is something slightly off kilter about her Jane, and she found the humor in the character too. I think this Jane/Rochester pairing had the best chemistry – you could really sense that these two could be happy together for the rest of their lives. I could do without all that hair on Toby Stephens, though. I thought this was a very thorough adaptation – I need to re-watch it because I remember liking it very much.

-2011 film with Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender. Wasikowska is fine as Jane – she takes the outward calm and bland approach to Jane. Fassbender is my favorite Mr. Rochester – he has, I find, the right blend of humor and hope without being too gothic or grim or melodramatic, never mind that he is probably too good looking to play the part. But does any one every really believe that Jane is plain and Rochester homely looking?

-I have to say, though, my favorite adaptation is the National Theatre’s stage version of Jane Eyre. I watched it during the pandemic when it was made available to stream for free and I think it’s brilliant, as an adaptation, as a piece of theatre, as a piece of storytelling. The whole production takes places on a series of platforms and versatile group of eight (or six? can’t remember) playing all the parts, including the dog Pilot. There is something really visceral about this adaptation that I love. We all think of Jane as this really calm and collected and internal character, but somehow onstage, she can be just as histrionic as Rochester and it works.

After I worked through my Jane Eyre obsession, the next soundtrack I put on was The Scarlet Pimpernel, a 1997 Frank Wildhorn musical, based on the book about a bunch of English noblemen who, during the Reign of Terror in France, band together to save French aristocrats from the guillotine.

The musical got three different revisions on Broadway – so I feel like either it was amazing or amazingly bad. I’m in the camp of amazing. But it was also panned quite badly by the critics, so I’m probably wrong. I’ll never get to see it, so I’ll never know for sure. When I was in college, I remember watching on tv the Scarlet Pimpernel company perform the musical number Into the Fire on the Tony Awards and I was so very taken by Douglas Sills, who played the lead Sir Percy Blakeney. Into the Fire is the number where Percy persuades his friends that they must go to France and save the aristocrats, and if you ever need a hearth thumping inspirational “St. Crispin’s Day” speech type of musical number, this is it. Anyhow, the first time I saw this number on the Tony Awards broadcast, I was immediately smitten by Douglas Sills and the heartbreakingly enthusiastic optimism with which he led this ensemble. I remember thinking he was the most beautiful man on earth. You should go watch it.

There’s something about revisiting the obsessions of one’s youth and the way it can take you back. Sometimes I watch things that I loved twenty years before, and say to myself, “Wow, I can’t believe I liked that!” or, more accurately, “Wow, twenty year old me had terrible taste!” (I think Phantom of the Opera is like that – I still love all it’s schlocky melodrama, but I don’t think it’s as objectively good as I thought it was when I was younger.) And sometimes I’m like, “Wow, that still packs a punch!” Into the Fire is definitely the latter and I’ve been finding myself newly obsessed by the whole musical recently. I will admit that the soundtrack itself has a few too many “Love is miserable” type power ballads for my taste, but they are sung with heart and a certain lack of irony that is hard to find these days. And the bigger ensemble numbers are nimble and clever. It’s been fun re-discovering this piece and I’ve been listening to it on repeat and scouring the internet for YouTube for clips and articles and interviews about the production- I would say it’s been 95% of my Google searches the past week. It just has such a fascinating creation story – how it was written and re-written and re-written and how it launched Sills’ career, and how critics hated it. Every so often I get very fixated on something and go on a Google bender. I’ve even set Into the Fire as the alarm for the kids to get dressed in the morning. At 7:57, the first strains of Into the Fire plays and the two little kids – the oldest one has gone to school by then – go get dressed. And they know they have until the end of the number to emerge fully dressed from their room. It’s worked shockingly well this past week.

The other thing my recent obsession with Scarlet Pimpernel made me think about, as I dredged up pirated videos on YouTube is that I will probably never get to see this musical live. And certainly never with the dashing Douglas Sills in the lead. And that makes me a little sad, because it reminds me how ephemeral theatre and live performance is. This thing that I do for a living, what is the value if it doesn’t give people something they can bottle or hold on to or replay whenever they want? We create moments to savor, moments that you live in and then are left to remember rather than relive. Even when I watch grainy footage of musical numbers, I am very much aware that that was corner of time that I was not there for, and all I can have is this four minute shaky video clip on YouTube. And even thought that moment was captured on video, it kind of exists as a relic, not as the piece itself. It’s very different from a movie that was created, yes of moments that were filmed, but a movie is created to be frozen in time. Theatre is just not like that. Watching a video of a theatrical performance makes me very aware of how I will never get to experience that performance, that moment of theatre live. It’s a little sad, but also makes me realize how, whether I’m working backstage on a show or seeing it from out front, I am grateful to be part of that story that is being told that night and the people who are telling it. I guess this is also true of a lot of things in life…

Other things:
Watercolor homework – poppies. I feel like it’s a little unrefined and almost cartoonish. I still haven’t gotten a hold on how to blend colours seamlessly. Also part of the assignment was to paint the background first, and then paint the poppy over it, and I’m not really happy with how you can see the background through the poppies. But… the texture in the grass was done with a cool technique where you sprinkle salt on the paint while wet and as the salt dissolves in the paint, it creates cool swirls of colour. This is probably stuff that you learn to do in elementary school, but pretty cool nonetheless.

Then this week we are working on working with watercolor pencils, which is fun. Here was what we did in class, experimenting with the different ways one can use water color pencils.

Lunch Hack of the week:
One day, I asked the four year old what she wanted for lunch. And she said “Chicken!” So I stuck a Costco size package of chicken wings into the InstantPot with a bit of Cajun seasoning and made a week’s worth of chicken wings. Batch cooking has made for really easy lunch packing – a couple of chicken wings thrown into their lunch box, half an apple sliced up, cucumber slices, and two Oreos. I’m sure I’m breaking all sorts of food safety rules by having the cooked chicken sit in the fridge all week and having the kids eat it, but no one’s gotten sick yet…

I’ve also been on a muffin making kick lately. The biggest hits are Morning Glory muffins from the King Arthur Flour Baking Book and these chocolate muffins made with applesauce. The four year old has been wanting chocolate muffins, but most of the recipes I saw were too cake-like for me. I don’t know if these are necessarily any healthier, but the apple sauce gives it a firmer texture. The kids gobble them up. One day, I came home to find that of the 24 mini chocolate muffins and 12 morning glory muffins I made, all that was left were two mini muffins and 1 morning glory muffin with a bite taken out of it. It was so sad, I took a picture for my Husband. He told me it was too sad and not blog-worthy. So I’m sticking the picture here, just to prove him wrong:

Okay – traumatic experience of the week – My friend was showing me around her house, which they have been doing major renovations to. We walked through all the finished parts and oohed and ahhed over how great everything looked. And then she took me to her upstairs bathroom which was being gutted and renovated. It had been torn down to the studs, including the floor. It was just crossbeams and the floor beneath. Which was actually the ceiling of the kitchen below. Then her cat ran into the gutted bathroom, and my friend stepped into the bathroom to get the cat out and, stepping onto what seemed like solid floor, but was really only dry wall of the ceiling below, and her foot plunged through that drywall, the cat fell through the hole that her foot made, into the kitchen below, and then the rest of my friend plunged through the hole, only saved from falling all the way through by catching herself by the armpits on the crossbeams. OMG, I thought my friend was going to plunge to her death right in front of me. And the whole time she was saying, “Is the cat okay?” I quickly reached down and helped haul her back up and out of the bathroom and we decided that the door to the bathroom could stay shut. I always thing of houses as VERY SOLID things, but once in a while, I realize that they are actually quite vulnerable feats of engineering and craftsmanship. Like when you realize all that’s between you and the room below is couple of crossbeams and a piece of drywall.

Grateful for:
-That my friend did not seriously hurt herself – or her cat – when they plunged through the ceiling.

-The lady at watercolor class who came over to me at the beginning of class and said, “I noticed that you had the expensive watercolour paper, and I was wondering if you wanted this extra pad I had of the not so expensive stuff so that you don’t have to use up all your good paper?” I was so touched! When I originally went to the art store, they only had the expensive stuff – I mean it’s not the “so expensive I don’t want to use it” kind, but it was definitely better than the “buy it in a 30 sheet pad from Michael’s” pad that the teacher had recommended we get. The lady at class had accidentally bulk ordered the basic 30-sheet pad, so she had extra. Then she said, somewhat darkly, “It’s more paper than I’ll be able to use, given my age.” Which was also kind of touching and frank.

-Apple Music. I mean I pay for it, but to have all this music at my fingertips is amazing, especially since the last time I was really into listening to music, it involved expensive purchases and lugging three binders of CDs around with me.

-That running doesn’t hurt. I don’t think I will ever like running. But it’s good for me and I do feel better afterwards, so I will try to keep running a few times a week. I only started running the year that I turned 42, so I’m pretty new at it and it’s not terribly easy for me. I get tired and hot and bored and can’t catch my breath. Lately, though, I’ve noticed that mile 2 does not feel as impossibly hard as it did two years ago. Last week, I managed to run three miles on two of my runs – I don’t usually get that far, but I got to 2.5 miles on both runs and felt like, “Okay, I think I can just do that extra half mile.” I know 3 miles is kind of paltry to a lot of serious runners, but to me, it feels like a reach goal on an average Wednesday afternoon. But it’s getting easier to go that far, and I’m grateful.

-That the two younger kids don’t have cavities. Yay! The kids had their semi-annual cleanings, and after the ordeal of all the crowns earlier this year, I went into their dentist appointment on pins and needles, wondering if, despite all that, they still had issues. Apparently they have very grooved teeth. But thankfully, there are no cavities. The 7 year old might need to see an orthodontist at some point, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Looking Forward to:

-Cherry blossoms! Peak bloom will be during spring break, so I might not be able to see them, but I’m hoping to go down to the Tidal Basin next week and get my fill.

-Having a friend over for dinner. Sometimes I think I want to throw a dinner party and invite witty people and cook all the things, but I think I actually prefer just having one or two friends over at a time. It feels more low-key and easier to connect. I think I’ll make chicken curry.

-Going back to rehearsal in April. I’m ready for someone to hand me a schedule every day and to know where I have to be and what I have to do. It’s nice to have a lighter schedule, but I think I do better with more structure in my life.

What we ate:

Saturday: Pizza and Next Goal Wins. It was my movie night and I admit that I was in no small part prompted to pick this movie because it starred the above-mentioned Michael Fassbender. In addition to that, though, it’s great family friendly sports movie about the American Samoa soccer team, which was known as the worst soccer team in the world when it lost 30-0 to Australia in a World Cup qualifier match. Fassbender is the down on his luck coach who is tasked with getting the team to score just one goal in a game. It hits all the feel good predictable notes of a family friendly sports film.

Sunday: Pasta and red sauce. Basic, simple, and filling.

Monday: Black Pepper Asparagus and Tofu, eaten with rice. I had some asparagus in our produce box to use up. I would use more black pepper next time.

Tuesday: Chicken on the Run – Peruvian chicken take-out after the 7 year old’s sewing class. He is now making a pillow.

Wednesday: Mac and cheese and kielbasa and green beans.

Thursday: pizza and fries before the show. The husband and the two little kids had eggs and toast at home. I had tickets to the dress rehearsal of the operetta that my company was producing and I took the 12 year old, and a friend and my work BFF’s 11 year old and her friend. So that was me driving carpool with 4 pre-teens in the car and it was a fascinating experience. Preteens are so full of confidence and enthusiasm and bravado, even the quiet ones, and I had the curious experience of being invisible – a fly on the wall – driving them down to the theatre, privy to all sorts of conversations. It was such a strange experience.

Friday: pizza leftover from last Saturday, and salad and Galavant. Finished the series. Soooo sad! We are all really sad that there was never a third season of Galavant, even though they did end things on a little bit of a cliffhanger, so maybe we can hope? What ever will we watch next?

Weekly Recap + what we ate: Good-bye February 2024!

Our last weekend in February was delightfully filled by a visit from my high school friend. She arrived on Saturday mid afternoon and was with us until Monday when I drove her to her hotel where she would be staying for her conference. She’s the only friend from high school that I still keep in touch with, and even though we only see each other every couple of years, we always pick up where we left off. She has children a few years older than mine, and she has such a chill approach to parenting that it’s so soothing talking to her about kids and life and how things turn out. She also used to date my brother so there are things that she just gets about me, even when she doesn’t know the details of my life ant any given moment.

Before my friend came in on Saturday, the 12 year old had a voice lesson, and since the voice lesson was closer to the airport than our house, we decided to have a little adventure in the two hours between voice lesson and my friend’s arrival. (The 12 year old had a hang out with a friend, so she didn’t come along). I remembered that the Gardens at Dumbarton Oaks are free during the winter months, and I had always wanted to visit. It was about 15 minutes from where we were, so we drove down to Georgetown, parked our car, stopped for some coffee, and walked down Wisconsin Ave to Dumbarton Oaks.

So funny story – the only reason I know that Dumbarton Oaks exists is because Igor Stravinsky wrote a chamber symphony called Dumbarton Oaks, which was commissioned by Robert and Mildred Bliss, who used to own the estate. The estate is now a research institute, library, museum, and gardens. Ever since I heard the chamber symphony in college, I’ve wanted to visit Dumbarton Oaks. So finally, twenty plus years later, we went. It’s so funny what random bits of information I know because it has a connection to music.

The gardens were quite extensive and there was lots to see, even though it was still pretty dormant. We played our “Find the Rainbow Colors” game. Though we didn’t really find blue because the sky, which is often our default blue, was pretty grey and cloudy. But there were these cool green-ish blue rocks in the pebble garden, so I took a picture of those. And I can never find indigo…

The purple and yellow flowers always remind me of the passage in Braiding Sweetgrass where Robin Wall Kimmerer said she wanted to study botany to know why purple and yellow flowers always look so nice together. Turns out there is a scientific explanation for that – I can’t remember what, to be honest – but it’s always struck me, this idea of wanting to understand beauty.

We wandered the gardens until it was time to go pick up my friend. The rest of the weekend was pretty chill. I loved having a friend visit who didn’t feel the need to be a tourist, so we could hang out and not traipse all over the city. She just tagged along with us on our normal life things and we had great conversations and connections. Looking back, Sunday was a great day – it checked a lot of soul satisfying boxes:
-Connection – hanging out for 48 hours with my friend, including dinner at my favorite hot pot place.
-Exercise – we went skating together while the kids were in lessons. So not super strenuous, but we got our bodies moving for a good two hours.
-Creative – I had to finish my watercolour homework, so in the afternoon, I worked on that while my friend hung out and hemmed her pants. How wonderfully domestic does that sound?
-Outside time – We took the two little kids outside after I was done my homework and watched them while they rode their bikes around the block for an hour. Again, not as active as a hike, but still some quality sunshine and fresh air time.

I think the only box that didn’t get checked was some knocking some big household organization project off my list. But… you can’t do everything and the day overall had a nice leisurely pace. The Husband did do a lot of work in the garden, though, so maybe I can have him check off the “household task” box for us?

March is my last month at a reduced work schedule before I go back into opera mode. I feel like February wasn’t super focused. I was on an 8 hr a week contract at work so I could do some admin and stage management department duties, but I couldn’t get into a good rhythm of when to be at work. I wanted to be available for at least 30-60 mind a day to handle email and tasks, so then the questions became how to spend the other hours a week. I did take the weekends completely off, like didn’t-even-check-email-off, which was really nice. I did periodically have a sense of panic that I was shirking my job responsibilities, but then I had to remind myself that an 8 hour a week contract means I only have to work 8 hours a week. I wasn’t being paid to be constantly available, and there were certainly enough people at work that nothing depended on me alone. I ended up mostly working two three hour days – usually Wednesday and Thursday – and then splitting the other two hours between the other three days, working from home. But even though a three hour day sounds short, it breaks up the entire day in such a way that I felt like unless I was super focused – which I rarely was – I lost a lot of time in commuting and transitioning. I find transitioning between activities is when I loose the most time – it’s when I’m most likely to get distracted, start scrolling and then loose and hour or so. So then little tasks – especially little computer tasks – got dropped because the last thing I wanted to do after being on my computer for 3 hours at the office was to turn on the computer at home and pay the bills and do the kid sign ups, research how to get rid of my car, etc.

This week’s work from watercolor class:
First the homework from last week – the assignment was “sunsets”

Then the lesson was painting poppies. I didn’t love this one – I felt like it was a little un-refined. The lady who sits next to me in class makes such delicate paintings.

Anyhow, February 2024 is now past and we are onto March. I don’t always do a monthly reflection, but I did for February:
February highs:
– Starting water color classes.
-Getting back on my bike.
– Seeing the kids thrive in the activities we had signed them up for. I worried that it was going to be too much, but they truly love what they are doing – except piano, no one really loves to practice, though they say they want to learn to play…
– Hosting Super Bowl Sunday gathering with friends.
– Visit from my high school friend
– joining a women’s Lenten reading group. Having that connection, but also the daily readings, which somehow give me much to ponder even though I’m not Catholic like the others in the group.
-Making baozi. I want more cooking adventures!
-As a family, we made it to a museum, a hike and some gardens in February.
-The wonderful weather. Mostly.
-Watching Galavant with the kids. Only three more episodes to go! What should we watch next???
-The vocal recital that I did titles for. Such a beautiful program, beautifully sung.
-Lunches with the Husband. A good use of my lighter schedule.

February not so highs. (aka lows, but really, life is pretty good, so I don’t feel right calling them “lows” – they’re just life, the tedious, repetitive, papercut stresses of life. Or maybe I need a re-frame. Or more sleep.)
-Tantrums and chore cajoling. Ugh. When will this phase end? Though I ask that and my kids are all at different phases, so…. I guess never? When they move out? Also I realize chore cajoling could also refer to the pep talks I give to myself to stop scrolling and fold the laundry.
-Making little progress on some house chores, losing momentum and focus.
– The first grader and some communication issues with his teacher. Essentially he’s having accidents at school at least once or twice a month, either because his teacher wants him to finish his work first, or the teacher doesn’t realize he’s asking to go. I’m a little stumped by the whole thing. Also frustrated. Also trying to decide if it’s a problem because he doesn’t seem to mind…
-New duties at work that are surprisingly harder than I had thought they would be and not yet knowing how to make things better.
– Not finding/making time to journal and then not remembering or savoring the memories of what I’ve been doing with my days.
-Laundry. So much laundry.

Some aspirations for March:
-TAXES. This is the big one. If I do only one thing in March, it will be to assemble everything for our tax preparer. This is not an aspiration, but a MUST DO!!!!
– Figure out what to do with my car.
-Sort through summer camp sign ups. We registered for some second choice camps, but then first camp choice had slots open up, so I just have to take a minute to look at everything and sort it all out.
-Spring break adventures – getting through them.
-At work – some desk organization. I need to move desks – to the cubicle where the head of the stage management department usually sits, but I’ve been in my desk for over 15 years and I’m partial to it so this is proving psychologically difficult. Kind of like the car. Maybe I don’t need to move desks?
– Organizing a) my sewing corner, and b) the toy room.
– Lunch with my mom’s group.
-maintaining life habits – reading, yoga and exercise, journaling, writing here regularly, making 2 vegan dinners a week.
– sort out my county rec center pass, and actually using it. The County is once again giving all residents free passes to the rec centers this year. I want to get my pass so I can start using the gym and introduce some strength work to my life.
-continuing to find time for lunches with the Husband.
-Listening to more musicals. This is a fun one. I’ve been on a binge lately of those unironic big hearted musicals from the 90s – those musicals that were huge spectacles of stage and emotion. I’m currently obsessed with Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton’s The Scarlet Pimpernel. Up next, I think might be Titanic.
– Going to bed at a decent time. ie. before 11:30pm. Constant struggle.
-make some dentist and doctor appointments.
–maybe get a hair cut. I was realizing as I was writing in my 5 year journal that the last time I got my hair cut was this time last year. What?!?! I think I had a bit of sticker shock last time since my hairdresser had raised his prices. I’ve been with him for over ten years so I don’t know if I have it in me to find a new person. (Like my car and my desk at work….)

Grateful For:
-Sunny, warm weather. There have been some rainy days too, but the weather has been really mild. The hyacinths have come up along our front walk, and when I walk to the front door, their sweet peppery smell reminds me that it is early spring.

-Impulsive playdates and kids who can run free at the park without being watched. The kids had a half day of school on Friday, so I texted the mom of two of the 7 year old’s friends (they’re twins), and asked if they wanted to meet up at a park. They did and she invited two other kids from her bus stop to meet us there. We ended up spending two hours at the park. The kids ran around and did I don’t know what and I got to chat with the other moms. I don’t always find it easy to talk to other parents, but that wasn’t the case this time. We chatted about all sorts of things, and not just our kids, which is always nice.

-My friend at our bus stop who invited me to the Lenten Women’s Group. I think it’s always awkward to invite someone to something new, but especially something that is based in religion. So I’m glad my friend had the courage to ask me to join. It was nice to get out of the house and talk to other moms about their spiritual background and how they try to incorporate it into their lives. I kind of feel like a fraud since I wouldn’t call myself religious – Lent wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. But religion is important to the Husband and two of the three kids are Catholic, so I do want to understand how it makes up the fabric of our life and support that. I also really like thinking about the group readings. The book looks at Lent through the lens of the Seven Deadly Sins. We’ve covered gluttony and lust so far. The readings have made me really think about what it means to have enough and what to do with my energy rather constantly accumulating/wanting more.

-That I don’t have to be in tech. I stopped by the theatre a couple days last week since the show that we’re currently producing, but which I’m not working on, is in tech. I love my job. I love making the magic of theatre and music happen. But once in a while, it’s nice to just sit and watch tech happen and not have the pressure of having to be the one to make it all happen. I find it also good to sit and watch tech from the house sometimes, just to remind myself what it’s like out front. When I’m in tech, I have a headset on and I’m communicating with all the other stage managers and I’m talking to the crew, so I usually know what’s going on. Sometimes, I forget, though, that the people out front don’t necessarily have the same voices in their ear as I do and might not know what is happening backstage. So what to me backstage might seem like a frantic scramble to get, say, a prop ready to come out onstage while the singer onstage waits for it, is, to the people sitting in the house, sometimes… nothing happening. Watching the process without a headset is always a good reminder to make sure that the people without headsets know what is going on. Anyhow, as much as I love my job, I’m grateful that sometimes I don’t have to be part of that stress. (and also jealous because the show is super cute and fun.)

Looking Forward To:
-We booked a trip to Maine/Acadia for this summer. We got a National Parks Pass and I very much want to make sure we use it this year. We’ve had passes the past couple years (including a free one given to all 4th graders when the 12 year old was in 4th grade – it’s a great program!), but I don’t think I use it to it’s full capacity. We go to Great Falls and Shenandoah regularly because those are all close, but I’ve always felt like I want to do more. So this year we are going to Acadia. I’m looking forward to sunsets and hikes and lobster. (I don’t think we’ll be doing sunrise at Cadillac Mountain because of where our airbnb is located, but I think it would have been a hard sell for the kids. Another time…)

-Theatre trips! I have tickets to a couple shows coming up! Yay. The Husband and I are going to see Company, and the dress rehearsal/ Opening night for the next opera (which I’m not working on, so I’ll get to see it! Yay!). And then the local high school is putting on Beauty and the Beast and I think that will be fun to see too. I feel like it’s good to see the professional shows and the high school ones – for a sense of perspective.

-I have a contract for my summer gig and I am SO EXCITED! It’s an opera I worked on six year ago, an opera written in 2017 about the Christmas Eve truce of 1914 during World War I. The opera is just. so. beautiful – in my top 5 opera jobs ever. And it’s very rare one gets to do a contemporary opera more than once, so I’m super thrilled.

-Listening to this audiobook:

I saw this audiobook recommended on the site Five Books, and I really enjoyed Alexis Hall’s book Boyfriend Material, so I thought I’d give this one a try. I’m very much loving it – it’s an amnesia romance novel where the amnesia victim doesn’t really have amnesia. How’s that for flipping a trope on it’s head? Amnesia romances usually aren’t my thing, but this one’s pretty great. And the audiobook is pitch perfect; it’s like an audio version of my favorite British rom com in the vein of Notting Hill or Four Weddings and a Funeral. Fluffy and and warm and hilarious. I’ve laughed out loud so many times.

What We Ate:
Saturday: Chicken Ginger Scallion soup from Deb Perelmans’ Smitten Kitchen Keepers cookbook. This was a super easy soup, and I even make it with frozen chicken, just cooking it a bit longer. Nice pantry type meal. Everyone loved it. We didn’t watch a movie because my friend was visiting, but we did watch and episode of the new season of Bad Batch.

Sunday: We went out to Hot Pot with my friend. Our favorite place with a conveyor belt and a robot that delivers the food for you.

Monday: Chickpeas braised in tomatoes. This was leftover from the week before. I added some water and it was more of a soup than stew, but still tasty. We had it with bread. Vegan.

Tuesday: Beet burgers and tater tots. The beet burgers were this recipe from Post Punk Kitchen. We had beets to use up, so I tried this recipe. The burgers were really tasty, and pretty easy to assemble, though grating the beets did take a while and then because my food processor is small and only does 1.5 cups at a time chopping all the ingredients together took a couple of batches. If you had a bigger capacity food processor then these would be much faster to whip up. I highly recommend this as a veggie burger. The burgers also heat up really well, so I had them for lunches the rest of the week. vegan.

Wednesday: Take out Vietnamese – buns and noodle bowls. We had an afterschool playdate with a friend and her father brought dinner over afterwards. Tasty.

Thursday: Pork and tofu stir fry with udon noodles. The Husband cooked.

Friday: Pizza and Galavant.

(bi)Weekly recap + what we ate: Presidents and Valentines

A crisp clear day and the American Art Museum.

The kids had Monday off for President’s Day, but there were still activities that weekend, so we styed in town and did some in town fun things. Saturday there was snow and the 12 year old’s basketball game ended up cancelled. Since the morning opened up, we decided to take the Metro downtown to a museum. We chose the American Art Museum because there was an orchid exhibit in its courtyard. We got down there are 11:00am, only to find that the museum didn’t open until 11:30am. So we decided to go to the library, which was across the street.

The library was recently renovated and the new children’s section is huge. And there is a whole separate teen section which the 12 year old went to explore on her own. The children’s section has lots of tables and chairs and cozy nooks for kids to curl up and read and a huge section of picture books in different languages. There is also a slide from the 2nd floor, where the children’s section is to the floor below. What a fun idea.

After the library we went to pizza at Ella’s and then headed to the American Art Museum. The Kogod Courtyard is one of my favorite places in DC – it is a bright and sunny oasis in the city, and usually quiet and peaceful. However, this day they were having a Family Day to honor President’s Day, so it was decidedly not quiet or peaceful. There were lots of crafts and activities, and at one point there was a Fife and Drum corps from a school in Virginia. The kids ended up making stovepipe hats at a booth sponsored by the Abraham Lincoln Cottage (one of my favorite museums in DC, by the way. Though it is out of the way and you have to pay to go, so I’ve only been a few times. But if I have to recommend a museum for people who have exhausted the Smithsonian, I always recommend visiting this one and the Frederick Douglass House in tandem.) And there was some dressing up, and a collage activity. Though by the time we got to the collage activity, the only president left was Andrew Garfield or Chester Arthur or some such.

Orchid sculpture. There were real orchids too, but the place was so crowded it was hard to get good pictures.

We did wander through the galleries afterwards. We took in the gallery of “Self Taught Art”, or what the museum calls Folk Art. I like these galleries a lot, seeing things that people create just for the joy of creating, not because they are artists and it pays the bills – ordinary things like quilts and lawn ornaments. I always like looking at this work, which is mostly made of cardboard and tin foil.

The whole exhibit inspires me to make time for creativity in life.

All in all, not the museum visit I had expected, but still a nice outing.

Sunday we had Agility class for the four year old, church for the older two kids and then we went to the Dumpling House for a birthday lunch for one of my best friends. We ordered soooooo much food – dumplings and sauteed greens and noodles and cucumber salad and and garlic eggplant…. I think something got lost in translation and we also had a fried sweet potato dish (Snowfield sweet potato) that was almost like dessert – sweet potato, coated in crunchy rice stick and fried so that the outside was crispy and the inside soft and molten. So good! We always order the same thing when we go to the dumpling house, so it’s fun when something new shows up.

Monday we decided to go on a hike – we hiked from Great Falls north to Riverbend Park, about 5 miles round trip. This is farther north from the spectacular falls of Great Falls, but it’s a gentler hike with beautiful views of the Potomac. The kids have a game they play when we go hiking, called “Rock Kingdom” it involves each child claiming a rock to sit on and the oldest one calling for Rock Kingdom Counsels and then they gather and make plans on how to run their kingdoms. It’s super cute. I’m sure the 12 year old doesn’t always want to play with her younger siblings, so I really treasure these moments when she fully engages with them and leads them in such imaginative play.

Art Class: The past two art classes were spent on clouds and sunsets. Clouds are fun – one of the techniques we learned was to paint the sky then, using a paper towel, lift away the colour to make clouds. I thought that technique was pretty high impact for very low effort. Also, the teacher had us make clouds of all colours and even since I’ve found myself looking at clouds and realizing how many colours they contain. They aren’t just white. Even still, I think my efforts at clouds came out much too grey. Also I’m having difficulties blending my colours. Getting the orange/yellow of the sunset to blend up into the blue of the sky without turning green is tricky.

First effort on top. Second on bottom. Hopefully there’s improvement.

This is my in class effort of sunsets, though I think they look more like moon rises.

This is my homework sunsets. The pink and blue sunset on the bottom left of the quartet was kind a disaster. Then the next morning I woke up and looked a the pictures without my glasses on and it looked so much better and suddenly I could see what was wrong with it – I hadn’t allowed the paint to blend from pink to blue slowly. So I thought I’d give that one a second try.

Also – the pictures look muuuuuch better from farther away.

One other thing I realized when doing the homework that one trick to making things look brighter is to also have darker things in the picture to create contrast, which was what I was trying to do with the picture on the bottom right.

I think watercolor is interesting because it seems quite easy in principal to create something beautiful. Just a simple wash of colour can be so elegant. But once you get past the easy stuff, the really detailed work requires a lot of care.

Valentine’s Day – I’m not a huge Valentine’s Day person, so the big win this year was that the Husband ordered the valentines for the kids. I didn’t even have to say anything about it to him. Awesome. I did spend an hour cutting up fruit for the 7 year old’s class party, only to see an email the day of that said the school was banning all consumption of food in the classrooms for Valentines Day. Apparently there was an allergy incident in another classroom the last time there was a class party. Which I respect that decision – I just wished I had realized that before I peeled an entire Costco bag of mandarin oranges. I apparently am not the most diligent reader of school communication. wump wump. I did go volunteer in the 7 year old’s class for the party. I’m always impressed by the level of French in his classroom. I know it’s an immersion program, so that is in the point, but to see seven and eight year olds who a year and a half years ago didn’t know any French, communicate with each other in full sentences is really amazing. Also – Teachers are heroes to spend all day with our kids.

The Best Morning This Week. So I wake up on morning from sleeping on the futon in the kids’ room because the 12 year old and I had a COVID exposure, so she and I are sleeping in one room for the week while the Husband and the other two kids sleep in our room. The 12 year old desperately wants to be sick to stay home from school, so while I’m downstairs making breakfast, she tries to doctor her COVID test with a red pen. I am simultaneously impressed by her gumption, but also trying hard not to laugh at how inept she is being at faking a positive COVID test. It was pretty bad. So I send her to school. Then move on with my morning.

At 8:15 – 30 minutes before we have to go to school, the seven year old tells me his Black History Month project is due that day. (Which, if I bothered to turn on the notifications in the class Slack channel I would realize because the panic I felt was reflected in the many messages from other parents about this project. Only those panicked messages were sent two days ago…). I originally go all “strict mom” and tell him, “Tough hooey, you can tell your teacher that you forgot to do it.” But then there were tears and I’m a softie, so ten minutes before we leave for the bus, he’s is drawing Louis Armstrong and taping it to an old can, which I had to pull out of the recycling on the curb – thank goodness it hadn’t been collected yet.

“What does a trumpet look like?” he asks me. And I open the page from Picturepedia of musical instruments and try to talk him through how to draw a trumpet with all its valves and what nots. Meanwhile the “school bus” alarm is going off. And I finally just say, “F*** that. Just draw a cornet.”

So the follow up to last week’s laments on how I have no morning routine – this is exactly why there is no routine.

At any rate – yes, the 12 year old and I had a COVID exposure. It’s been kind of fascinating, and perhaps a little bit triggering, to pull the masks out again and swabbing our noses every morning to do the COVID tests, and to worry about whom we are spending time with. We personally haven’t had a brush with COVID in probably more than two years, and at first I was very self conscious about having to mask again. But then I realized that even though we aren’t masking all the time as we once were, it has become a very normal thing to do. And it’s the kind and prudent thing to do. So there we go.

Things I learned from This Week’s Crossword Puzzle: The playlist edition.
This week’s crossword puzzle discoveries were all musicians whom I had never heard of. So I made myself a little playlist of their music one evening:
– Tegan and Sara – (“Everything is Awesome” singers ___ and Sara) Okay, had heard that song, but didn’t know the group. Peppy, pop sound.
– Angie Stone – (Stone with the R&B album “The Art of Love & War”)
–Say It Ain’t So – (“___ It Ain’t So” Weezer Song). I knew Weezer was a band, one that was pretty popular when I was growing up. Could not name any of their songs to save my life.
–Ella Mai (“Boo’d Up” Singer). British R&B Artist. New to me. Actually R&B is a whole genre of music that I’m woefully ignorant on.

Watching:
Nai Nai and Wai Po. This short documentary film by Taiwanese American filmmaker Sean Wang was nominated for an Oscar. It documents the every day life of his two grandmothers. One is 94 and one is 83 and they have been roommates for years and live life with such a joyful pragmatism – they make music, they make dinner, they arm wrestle, the argue about farting, they talk about life and living a long one. From the first moment of the film, I recognized my own grandparents and my own parents, even. In less than twenty minutes, this little film made me laugh, cry, and feel seen and understand what it’s like to contemplate humanity with the perspective of nine decades.

Incidentally, there are two documentary shorts by Taiwanese Americans nominated for Oscars this year. That feels pretty special to me. The other one is about the Taiwanese Island of Kimen which is just off the coast of China. I guess now I can say I’ve watched at least two of the Oscar nominated films this year.

Watching, and a Rant:
Hallmark Binge Pass- I’ve discovered that with my Library card, I can get a Hallmark Binge Pass via Hoopla, which gives me access to a huge collection of Hallmark movies and tv shows – cue up the fluffy, heartwarming entertainment. It’s been perfect accompaniment as I wash dishes late at night or work on my painting homework. So far I’ve watched An American in Austen, a movie about a modern day librarian who finds herself living in Pride and Prejudice. The movie was cute, and as an ardent Darcy fangirl, it was hilarious to see their take on Darcy as an unbearably pushy and kind of annoying person. I’ve also watched a bunch of holiday movies because…. the heart wants what the heart want, right? Okay, but here is one huge vent though- I usually watch things with the subtitles on and I was watching a movie called Make Me A Match, a movie about ambitious Vivi, who works for a dating app. She meets an Indian matchmaker and strikes a deal with the matchmaker to learn about her methods so that she can distill the matchmaker’s success down into something she can use to improve her app. The matchmaker’s son Boom is tasked with helping Vivi. Predictable sparks fly… It’s a lovely movie and you know me, representation is my catnip, so I was really enjoying this one. Except, we get to the end of the movie when Vivi and Boom get married in a huge Indian wedding ceremony and when the officiant begins the wedding ceremony, the titles just say, “Chanting in foreign language.” Come on, Hallmark! You can do better. Tell us what language the guy is chanting in! Also… during the party afterwards, there are subtitles for the songs in English, but the songs in Hindi just say, “Singing in foreign language.” Why does the song in English get its words captioned and not the one in Hindi? If it even is in Hindi – I’m going to be honest, I’m pretty ignorant about Indian languages, which is why it would have been cool if the subtitles had told me what language it was and what was being said. I don’t know – maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but there are huge swaths of the population for whom this isn’t a “foreign” language and I kind of resent it being labelled as “foreign.” This is not how we normalize non-English languages and cultures, folks. AmI expecting too much of a Hallmark movie? I mean the whole thing might have been captioned by an AI bot for all I know. But in which case, surely the AI bot can figure it out without labelling something “foreign.” “Foreign” is relative.

Grateful For:
– COVID tests and masks. I’m glad we had a supply of masks and tests to use when we had our COVID exposure. It’s funny how the bin of tests in our linen closet that seemed like a lot, quickly can be used up. Luckily our library is still handing out free COVID tests, so I can stock up next time I go. Also grateful that we didn’t actually get COVID. Also grateful that we are no longer in the Spring of 2020.

-For the vocal recital that I got to do the supertitles for. A beautiful evening of music, plus getting to hear Barber’s Knoxville: Summer of 1915 performed live. It is usually performed with an orchestra; hearing it with just piano accompaniment really brought out the jazzy influences in the music – the piece had a certain swing that isn’t always apparent with orchestral versions.

-Museums and libraries and National Parks. Things I don’t begrudge my tax dollars at work for.

-Making it up the hills on my bike. And lower gears. Every time I brush my bike off after a pause, even of a week or two, I am a little defeated by the hills between home and work. This time was no different. However, by my second day of bike commuting, I could make it up those hills. I just put the bike in a lower gear and keep my head down and keep pedaling. I’ve also discovered that it helps to sit a little more upright in my seat when I go up hills. I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation for that.

Looking forward to:
– A visit from a high school friend. One of the nice things about living in DC is that every so often people come here for work and I get to see them! This friend is the only friend from high school that I still keep in touch with. Her parents, like mine, are from Taiwan, and we’ve always bonded over that. (This happened! this is what I get for being so slow to post. anyhow, it was a lovely visit – more later!)

– A cherimoya! My abovementioned friend brought some fruit from California among which was a cherimoya. My late grandmother loved cherimoyas and I always think of her when I have one. There are not very prevalent here – once in a while I’ll see them at HMart – so this was a nice treat and I’m looking forward to eating the last one. For those who haven’t had a cherimoya, it’s a fruit with a very soft inside that kind of tastes like banana-pear custard.

-Peak Bloom! Peak bloom forecasts are being released this week – I wait with eager anticipation. There are a few of the early blooming trees that can already be seen around town, a riot of pink.

– Lenten reading group. A friend invited me to join a Lenten reading group – we read a book that has a reading and reflection for each day of Lent, and then come together three times to discuss it. I’m not Catholic, so the invitation to join gave me pause, but I do like contemplating life and reflecting on my life choices, so I thought this group might be a nice social/spiritual activity.

-Cooking from these two cookbooks, which I picked up from the library:

What We Ate:

Monday: Crispy coconut rice. This recipe. Basically you crumble tofu into cooked rice, add curry paste and other spices and then fry it in a cast iron skillet until the bottom gets crispy. Wrap in lettuce leaf and top with mint to eat. Tasty and very flavorful and also comes together very quickly. The two little kids didn’t care for it as much, but I think it’s because it’s kind of a new concept. I would make it again – a great use for leftover rice. Vegan.

Tuesday: Sweet Potato and Black Bean Tacos. Roast diced sweet potato in a pan and then mix with black beans. We eat it with the leftover guacamole from SuperBowl Sunday. Quick and easy meal. Vegan.

Wednesday: Instant Pot Braised Chickpeas with Tomatoes. Since I was working this evening and we had an excess of dried chickpeas to use up, I was looking for an InstantPot chickpea recipe. The best part of this is the tahini swirl that you add at the end. Vegan.

Thursday: Pasta and meatballs. I had made and frozen meatballs in tomato sauce last December, so I pulled those out and we ate them with pasts. Thank you to past me for freezing meatballs.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Galavant. I might have fallen asleep.

Saturday: Pizza (The Husband made) and Moana. I hadn’t seen Moana before despite making the middle child a Hey Hey costume for Halloween when when he was two. The kids, have seen it several times and love it. It is indeed a great movie.

Sunday: We didn’t actually have dinner this day. We were so full from dumplings and noodles at my friend’s birthday lunch that we just kind of weren’t hungry the rest of the day. There might have been popcorn or fruit or ample snacking.

Monday: Lentil Soup and flatbread. I’m trying to incorporate more lentils in our life because they are cheap and healthy and not terrible for the environment. I can’t for the life of me remember what lentil soup recipe I made, but I’m pretty sure I made this in the Instant Pot. To go along with it, I made this yogurt flatbread recipe from Smitten Kitchen.

Tuesday: Celery Cashew with Five Spice Tofu. We got two bunches of celery in our produce box. We aren’t huge celery people – usually it goes in soups or we eat it with peanut butter. So I thought I’d try this recipe that would put the celery front and center, though I didn’t have 5 spice tofu, so I pressed extra firm tofu, dusted it with 5 spice powder and then pan fried it. I thought it was pretty good for being a dish based around celery. Vegan.

Wednesday: Egg Sandwiches on bagels. Sometimes on Wednesdays when the kids have early piano lessons, I will pick up some bagels for breakfast, and then also enough extras so that we can have breakfast sandwiches for dinner. One of our easy go to quick dinners.

Thursday: Meatball subs. We had some frozen meatballs from the store to use up.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Galavant. We re-watched one of the episodes from last week since I had fallen asleep. We have a nice Friday night routine now- after basketball practice for the 12 year old, they come home with pizza. We watch two episodes of Galavant while eating pizza. The kids go upstairs and get into pjs and brush their teeth, without help from a parent (that’s key), and the can come down and watch one more episode. Not sure what we are going to watch when we are done with Galavant – there are only two seasons and we’re halfway through the second. Any recommendations?

Well, I just realized that March is bearing down around the corner! Wow. But we do get a bonus February day tomorrow – that is always a fun thought, even though in theory it is just another day.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Art and celebrations

This year, Lunar New Year AND Super Bowl Sunday fell in the same weekend. I am a little abashed to say that the latter gets more attention in our household. However, I did call my father (My mother is in Taiwan with my grandfather), and the seven year old dressed all in red on Saturday (coincidentally, but my dad made a comment about it when we FaceTimed, so I’ll take it), and I made my first attempt at making baozi (pork filled steamed buns). We had dumplings at our Superbowl party, a nod to both San Francisco and Lunar new Year.

My parents also send us two boxes of oranges from their tree for Lunar New Year, including red envelopes for the kids. (Though there was a bit of a mix up and we got my niece’s red envelope, and my brother got the ones for our kids. Oops!) The oranges are amazing – really sweet and juicy. Our neighbors also gave us a box of pineapple cakes too, one of my favorite Taiwanese treats, and they brought red envelopes for the kids too. So I feel as if I haven’t totally neglected the holiday, though I can do better. Every year, I think I’m going to celebrate/participate more, but then Lunar New Year creeps ups on me. I do feel like I fail at being the good Asian daughter a lot of the time.

The weekend felt very packed. Saturday was a basketball game for the 11 year old, and then she had an audition for a children’s chorus. Apparently the audition didn’t go well – it was her first real audition experience and she said she got really “spooked” singing for the people in the room. I am feeling deeply conflicted as a parent about the whole thing – there is a part of me that is all Tiger Mom, thinking, “Well, she didn’t prepare adequately and if she had truly wanted to do this, she would have practiced more. She needs to develop a sense of discipline if she wants to do this again”, and there is a part of me that says, “Auditioning is hard! Good for her for going in there. Big Hugs.” I do want her to enjoy an activity and do things that serve her interests, and at the same time, I think there is a certain sense of discipline and determination that are a more long term takeaway from participating in activities. Or maybe I’m expecting too much? Or overthinking things? I think often of an interview I heard on Fresh Air with a lady who’s son was diagnosed with a fatal illness when he was still a baby, and she talks about wondering what is the goal of parenting when you know your child will not grow up to be an adult?

Super Bowl Sunday, there were classes and activities (agility class, Faith Formation, and skating lessons), a playdate, which I almost cancelled fearing it was too much to do, but which ultimately was quite nice because it was our only opportunity to go outside all day, and the kids got to ride their bikes to the park.

Then in the evening we had friends over to watch the Super Bowl. I thought the game was simultaneously slow and exciting. The half time show was a lot (as it should be). And there were some pretty great commercials. My favorites were the Ben Affleck/ Jennifer Lopez Dunkin’ Donuts commercial – hilarious!, and then commercial for Google Pixel’s new guided frame technology which helps people with impaired or low vision take pictures. I mean, if I was the type to cry during a commercial, that would have been the one. We sent the little kids to bed when the game went into overtime, though the rest of us stayed up to watch to the very end. Still a late night for all.

Other happenings of the week before:
I started my watercolor class! The day before the first class, I went to the art store to pick up supplies. Is there anything as exciting as the anticipation of new art supplies? Fresh paints, blank paper, and smooth brushes.

The first class was a lot of explanation of supplies. The teacher told us not to buy the very expensive supplies for an introductory class. Except for watercolour pencils. There is one inexpensive brand of watercolour pencils that she does not recommend – the colours are not saturated enough. “Did you keep the receipt?” she asked the students who came to class with that brand. I thought that was hilarious.

Our first in class assignment was to experiment with six different watercolour techniques. The homework is a repeat of the same techniques. Here’s how I did on the first try:

Things I learned from the week’s crossword puzzle – one of my favorite things that we did last year was get a Sunday newspaper. Hands down my favorite part is the crossword puzzle, that I work on through the week. I do them in pen, and I don’t look up clues. However, once I finish the crossword puzzle, or get the solutions the following week, I will google the answers that were new to me; I find it’s a fun way to learn random bits of knowledge. Things I learned from this week’s puzzle:
-Anne Meara (“Emmy nominated Anne”) – Meara was a comedian who had a comedy routine with her husband Jerry Stiller. I was particularly struck by the fact that they broke up their comedy act because they were afraid that the biting tone of their routine was hurting their marriage in the long run. I thought that was a pretty self-aware decision.
–Otoes (Native Americans based in Red Rock, Okla.) This Native American tribe was semi-nomadic, originally from the Great Lakes area but eventually settling along the Missouri River in the Iowa/Missouri/Nebraska area. They were decimated by small pox and the American government.
– Gaus sum (Gaus __, concept in algebraic number theory.) This is the method of adding consecutive numbers by adding the first and last, second and second last, and so on, and then dividing by 2. Quite neat and efficient.
–Adolph Rupp. (Kentucky coaching legend Rupp) University basketball coach with a storied career. Anytime I see the name “Adolph”, I wonder about the choice. Rupp was born in 1901, clearly before the name Adolph became practically taboo.
–Tealight (Candle originally used to warm a steeped drink.) Who knew? But makes so much sense. Tealights originally came from Japan and were used to keep tea warm, but also they helped tea brewers keep track of time since one knew how long they would burn for.

The hyacinths are poking their heads up. What the what???? It is alarming yet also how can I not love the hints of spring?

The “I’ll miss this some day” moment: One morning, I was woken up very early – not sure how early, but it was definitely before 5:30am – by the four year old standing next to my bed bawling at the top of her lungs. Let take a moment to reflect on how freaky it is to be woken out of a dead sleep by someone standing next to your bed, even a small and cute someone. And she was clearly upset.

Eventually I figured out what she was sobbing.

“You didn’t play Let it Go when I brushed my teeth!!!!!!” she cried over and over again.

Backstory: the night before, I had let the six year old pick the music for clean up time, but then I promised that four year old that she could listen to Let It Go while they brushed their teeth. Then I forgot, and we played Chompers, as we usually do, no one said a word or reminded me of my promise for Let It Go. Everyone went to bed. I moved on with life.

But I guess not everyone forgot. Or rather someone eventually remembered.

This is one difference between the Husband and me: At 5am when a small person wakes you out of a dead sleep, grief stricken that we’d forgotten to play Let It Go – I try to console her and explain that I had forgotten and that she also had a responsibility to remind me. The Husband, reaches over, picks up his phone, cues up the Frozen soundtrack, and rolls over and goes back to sleep. I’ll let you guess which tactic got the four year old to stop crying.

An hour or so later, when we were both truly awake, I said to the Husband, “Wow, she has a mind like a steel trap!”

“It’s a rusty steel trap,” he says, “Because you never know when it’s going to snap shut and bite you in the ass.”

Perspective: So back in September, I wrote a post entitled “A Litany of Complaints”, of many of the things stressing me that time, and I thought it would be interesting to revisit those stressors:
–The cavity ridden state of the two little kids’ teeth. This has been more or less resolved to the tune of many many crowns. We’ve given up gummy candy and are more diligent about brushing. I just got a notification that they are due for their semi-annual cleaning, which I’m sort of dreading but also curious as to whether or not we are truly cavity free.
–Unflattering passport photos, and an expired passport in general. My new passport just arrived. Yay. I was genuinely worried that my grandfather would suddenly pass away and I would not be able to go back to Taiwan because I had no passport. So that’s all squared away. Morbid, I know. (I had one cousin who missed out on a huge family reunion in Taiwan because she had put her passport in storage and couldn’t get to it. The family still constantly brings it up. So I’m glad I won’t be known as the grandchild who couldn’t go to Agong’s funeral because she didn’t have a passport.) I still hate the picture. I tell myself I don’t have to look at it, but even still, I know that it’s a terrible picture. Can’t take that away from me. AND it’s going to be there for the next ten years. That’s pretty much until the youngest kid is in high school and the oldest is graduated from college. So I guess I’ll get a new photo in time for a celebratory international trip with the oldest child.
–Not planning the three year old’s birthday party until the last minute. It was fine. She had a party, which I wrote about here. Only now I have neglected to plan the seven year old’s birthday party – his birthday was three weeks ago. There’s always something. Same stress different kid.
–Keeping track of the 11 year old’s activities. I have them all pretty straight now, but it’s been a bit of a shuffle this month with her playing rec league basketball and the Husband and I both working on one of the nights she usually goes to basketball clinic. On another front, luckily we share carpooling to the pool with the neighbors so usually someone will remember if there is not swim clinic that week. Also – the twelve year old is in the school play, which rehearses directly after school so she has been totally responsible for that. I just have to remember not to panic on the evening when it gets to be 4:45pm and I suddenly realize I haven’t seen her yet.
–Window treatments for the living room. Aside from some abstract contemplation, there has been absolutely no movement on this. I’d like to just throw my hands in the air and give up on it, but this is the current state of things:

*Very* ad hoc and improvised. There are at least four different stages of window treatment contemplation going on here.

–My 20 year old car. The car is still with us. We did however, get a new minivan back in October. By “we” I mean the Husband. I have yet to drive the minivan. Part of what we talked about in getting a minivan is that I would get rid of my car. But I’m irrationally attached to my car and have been putting things off. I had promised the Husband that I would take care of getting rid of the car in January. Then February. And now, the windshield wipers need replacing and we need to renew it’s parking permit and it probably needs an oil change. And I think – should I really do all that if I’m going to imminently get rid of it? Anyhow, change is hard, I’m having some kind of block against moving forward with getting rid of the car. The thing is – we could put more money into it and it would be okay, so it feels wasteful to get rid of the car. I’m investigating donating it to the high school’s automotive training program. This is still a huge stressor for me.
–Morning routines. Still feels like the mornings are interminable yet rushed. I came to a huge revelation about my morning routines last week. Part of the reason my morning routines are non-existent is because the kids are so erratic in the mornings. One kids is up at 6:30am, another sleeps til 7:00am, the other… something in between. Sometimes they want breakfast right off, sometimes they roam the house. Sometimes they will get dressed first, sometimes not til they’ve been up for an hour and a half. If they were more consistent about their mornings, I could feel like there is a routine – for everyone. Like maybe we would get piano practicing done, maybe we would put away some laundry, maybe I could get some journaling in… Maybe I’m asking too much. But it does seem like with almost 2.5 hours of awake time in the morning, I should be able to do more then, breakfast, pack lunch, get dressed. Work in progress.

Which is all to say – I feel like some of the things that were stressing me out in September are still stressing me out, some have been resolved, and some I’ve learned to make peace with. They’ve moved from stressing me out to just being irksome. I think this is a big component of adulting for me – managing stressors. Stressing about things until I manage them. I don’t know why I do it like this – it always feels better when things are resolved.

Grateful For:
– Superbowl Sunday with Friends. It’s nice to have people over who I don’t have to worry about impressing, who will bring tasty food, and who have kids that will entertain our kids.

–For the middle school teachers who keep the 12 year old (and all the students) safe: The 12 year old’s school had a lock down at school on Friday. Apparently there were some teenagers with BB guns who fi (or maybe there was more than one- it’s unclear), ran into the field next to school. The police came. Looking at the letter sent home the whole incident took about 20 minutes, but I’m sure it felt like longer to her in her classroom. All the nearby schools went into lockdown. It’s hard to conceive of what the real danger was to everyone at the school, but regardless, it must have been an incredibly stressful afternoon. Some part of my mind thinks, “Of course, everything turned out okay,” but I know I can’t take that for granted. Such is life in America. Sadly.

-Biking. It’s gotten warm enough (and dry enough) to bike places. I biked to work one day, though I did walk the bike up the big hill, and I biked to meet the Husband for lunch.

–Our neighbor for lending us a bamboo steamer: As I mentioned above, I wanted to try my hand at making bao for Lunar New Year. However, I didn’t have a bamboo steamer. I could steam in a regular metal steamer, but there is something about the bamboo smell that completes the bao flavor for me. So I texted our neighbor, and they had one which they dropped off that very afternoon. I think the buns turned out okay – they popped open a little when I steamed them, so I do need work on my folding technique. I also want to experiment with some vegetarian filling options.

Looking Forward To:
-A potential big trip. We’ve been doing some research for our winter break trip. One day over lunch, the Husband and I were to both come with three ideas to start discussing. I find planning for travel overwhelming, but just starting to research a destination (or three) is actually pretty fun.

-Long weekend adventures. Definitely a hike, and maybe a museum. (This all happened. It was a great weekend! More on that soon. )

-Reading more of Courtney Milan’s latest book, The Marquis Who Musn’t. Historical romance featuring an English village populated by Asian people? Yes please! I love Milan’s books – there are no idiotic people and her writing and plotting is generally very good. She’s also hugely outspoken on issues of race and inclusivity in the romance genre.

What We Ate:
Monday: Takeout from Chicken on the Run. The 7 year old had his first sewing class and I was going to make sandwiches for dinner when we got home, but sewing class is a block down from a really good Peruvian chicken place, so I called an audible and brought home chicken, and yucca fries and plantains and black beans and rice, and cucumber salad. No regrets.

Tuesday: Zucchini Boats. The Husband cooked. He stuffed the boats with ground turkey and covered it with cheese and diced tomatoes. Always a favorite.

Wednesday: Bacon and Egg pie. Recipe from Saveur Magazine. I used to subscribe to Saveur magazine and I loved it – the food writing was so evocative and homey, even when it was about far flung locations. I very rarely cooked out of it because the recipes often needed ingredients that I didn’t have on hand since a lot of the recipes came from other countries or cultures. Anyhow, I have a gentle aspiration to cook more from the cooking magazines that I own and I had bookmarked this recipe to try – it’s from New Zealand and quite easy – puff pastry, filled with chopped up bacon and eggs, drizzled with a sauce of Worchester sauce and ketchup, then baked. I think I overbaked it a little, though. The result, however, would be perfect for a portable lunch or breakfast.

Thursday: Pizza Takeout. It was the Husband’s birthday and he didn’t want to celebrate, but then changed his mind so he came home with pizza from his favorite place and a cake from his favorite bakery. We kept it lowkey, but the kids did make a sign:

Friday: Pizza (The Husband made) and Galavant. Friday night tradition. I don’t know what we’re going to do when we finish season two.

Saturday: Bahn mi (take out) and A Bug’s Life (the 7 year old’s turn to pick the movie). The movie was new to me, very cute.

Sunday: Superbowl Sunday. Lots of food! Our friends are both big griller/smokers. One brought brisket and one brought ribs. The Husband made guacamole. We ordered soft pretzels from the DC Pretzel Company. There was also dumplings, baozi, crudite, brownies, lemon cake, chips, fruit. I like having a good party spread and this one was pretty good.

(bi) Weekly recap + what we ate: Another Birthday week and a Museum

It’s February! January was a blur – there was a show for the first half of the month and then the second half of the month felt like I was picking up the pieces. I’m hoping the February will feel slower, more intentional and more balanced, less like survival mode.

Also – we’ve had weather in the high 70s and mid 30s, all in the span of a week. I cannot take this weather whiplash. On my walk the other day, I saw some crocus shoots starting to peak up. What? Not! And then I was talking to a stage manager who was coming in for our next show and she asked me what kind of weather she should pack for and I said, “I honestly have no idea what to tell you.” But… it got me thinking that she will be here until the end of March, which means that she will likely be here for peak cherry blossom season. I’m really excited – for peak bloom. (I just checked the website and it says it is yet too early to predict peak bloom… I wait with much anticipation…)

Anyhow – other adventures…

The big kids had last Monday off school (Teacher’s grading day), so the Husband and I both took the day off and we took the kids downtown to the Mall to visit the National Gallery of Art. There were two exhibits that I wanted to see before they closed in March – one exhibit was of the portraits by Dorothea Lange, and another of the works of Mark Rothko.

I thoroughly enjoyed both exhibits. The Lange was especially haunting as a large part of the exhibit was devoted to portraits that she took of families migrating during the Dust Bowl, including Human Erosion in California (Migrant Mother), the famous one of a Great Depression mother looking weary. (I just went down a rabbit hole and the story of the woman behind the photo is fascinating. She wasn’t actually a worker on the pea farm where the photo was taken; she was just stopped them when her family’s car broke down. Turns out the lady, Florence Owen Thompson, was quite resentful that the photo was taken without her permission.) There were also a series of photos she took at a Japanese relocation center that felt particularly poignant. I love how immediate and spontaneous and timely photography can be.

The other exhibit, works of Mark Rothko, was more intangible in it’s appeal, I think. Abstract art hasn’t always spoken to me – I like art of things and people and recognizable objects – but there is something about Rothko that I really like. Maybe it’s the bold unapologetic color? What I loved about seeing the Rothko paintings up close is that you can see how different blocks were painted with different techniques- some bold and rough, some quite smooth, some very orderly. It makes his work feel all the more deliberate. In addition to the familiar blocks of colour, the exhibit had some of Rothko’s early watercolors and they were definitely reminded me of the work of painters like Cezanne and early Picasso. Another favorite part of the exhibit was the giant easel that they had on display – to see where Rothko made his work really lifted to the painting for me, and reminded me that there is a person behind all this colour.

Taking to the kids to a museum is always a tricky excursion. The 4 year old didn’t have a lot of patience for looking at art, but one thing that did capture her attention was all the paintings of Mary and the baby Jesus. Every time she saw a painting of Madonna and Child, she would run up to it, pointing with glee, exclaiming, “It’s Baby Jesus!!!” I guess it all goes to show that art speaks to us, when we find something familiar in it.

In the lobby of the East Wing, there was an easel set up with a giant screen that people could “paint” on. The kids LOVED this. They would have spent the whole day there if they could. I had a moment when I thought, “But they have art supplies at home! Why are they so much more excited about this?” Oh well. As I was walking out, though, I saw a grown up with a child who looked to be about eight or nine, and the grown up was teaching the child how to draw and they were sketching the Calder mobile above them. I thought that was actually a brilliant idea of how to get children to engage in art. Sometimes I think that we spend so much time looking at art that we forget to actually make it ourselves. (This is one of my beefs about the kids’ school specials – they spend all this time learning about Beethoven and the Beetles, and not enough time making music themselves. Similarly in art class – they know about Van Gogh, but not about making their own creations.) So yes, in the same breath I have been irked at my kids for their obsession with a digital painting canvas and bemoaned the lack of creative opportunities. It’s irrational. I’m going to sit with that for a little bit.

I also thought this was funny – this layout of a future exhibit. The circles say, “Not Trash” I feel like that could be some kind of very meta art in itself.

Every time we go down to the National Mall, I’m struck with gratitude and amazement how all these great museums and works of arts are less than an hour away by train. This year I want to be more intentional about going down and making time for the the exhibits that I want to see. There is a show in September called Paris 1874: The impressionist Moment that I want to make sure to catch. But also there is an amazing permanent collection too that I should also remember to see – We walked by Degas’ sculpture Little Dancer on Monday and I had forgotten that this sculpture was even here. Such a lovely piece of work and I can walk in and see it for free anytime the Museum is open!

Also super fun was we saw two white squirrels on the Mall as we were down there! I heard that they are rare, but there were two frolicking about, so maybe they aren’t as rare as I would think? After the Museum we went to have dumplings and noodles and then went home. What a lovely day.

The week before we celebrated another birthday! The middle child turned seven. I can hardly believe that he’s already seven. And… he lost his first tooth the day before his birthday. Milestones all around! I bought some balloons, including this giant Grogu balloon that has weights on the bottom and an attached ribbon so you can pull it around like a pet. I realized afterwards that the same balloon without the weighted bottom and ribbon leash was five dollars cheaper. Did I really pay an extra $5 for a ribbon and weights? I guess I did. Well, the 7 year old loved it, so maybe it was worth it? The Grogu haunts our house now, floating around, peeking around corners in the evenings. It’s a little creepy of one isn’t expecting it.

Grogu watching me clean the kitchen late at night. Maybe he needs a cookie…?

I made a red velvet cake and we FaceTimed with my parents that night, singing happy birthday and blowing out candles.

“They just keep growing” moment – I’ve been trying to do some closet cleanouts and I had two bags of clothes to take to Goodwill. The bags had been riding around in my car, but then I realized that the 4 year old’s agility class is right next to a Goodwill. Yay! I love when errands line up. So after class one day, we I headed over to the donation center. Just as I was pulling up, though, I remembered that the 12 year old needed pants, and last fall I had put four pairs of pants that no longer fit me into the bag. And actually, those pants would probably fit the 12 year old. So I pulled them out of the bag before dropping the donation off at Goodwill and took them home to her. It turns out that they fit her pretty well. It was just such a moment for me to realize that the path of clothes that no longer fit now don’t automatically have to go into the donation pile.

A charming picture book and story from my past:

So funny story – when I was growing up in Canada, there was a radio show on the CBC called Basic Black, hosted by Arthur Black. I don’t remember much detail of it, but I remember it was funny and that my brother and I would listen to it every week. Arthur Black had a book in which he wrote a essay about how Winnie the Pooh was named after a bear named Winnipeg, because the bear was from Canada. In sixth grade, my best friend Gail was a huuuuge Winnie the Pooh lover. She one day told me that Winnie the Pooh was named after a bear named Winnie at the London Zoo. I said, no, actually it’s named after a bear named Winnipeg because Arthur Black said so. No, you’re wrong, Gail said. And back and forth and back and forth we went.

I eventually wrote to Arthur Black and asked him how he knew that Winnie the Pooh was named after a bear named Winnipeg. And he wrote me back!!!! Anticlimactically, he said, “I wish I could give you chapter and verse of where I heard about the bear named Winnipeg, but I don’t remember.” I’m paraphrasing, but that bit about “chapter and verse” is a direct quote – for some reason that stuck in my head.

Anyhow, fast forward thirty-five years and we borrow this book, Finding Winnie, from the library, mostly because I love the art of Sophie Blackall. And guess what? Winnie the Pooh was indeed named after a bear in the London Zoo. So Gail was right. BUT… the bear came from Canada and was named Winnipeg. So Arthur Black was right too. The story of how the bear named Winnipeg got to the London Zoo is actually quite a lovely story and I might actually have almost been close to tears at one point. And to have a 35 year old argument resolved… that was lovely too.

Cleaning out the Tupperware drawer I have a huge list of aspirational decluttering that I want to do and the list is overwhelming. Cleaning out the Tupperware drawer and Tupperware overflow seemed like low hanging fruit, so I tackled it one day. (I do note that I use “Tupperware” like “Kleenex” or “Xerox”. I don’t actually own any true Tupperware per se.) One of my pet peeves is when storage containers do not get put away with their lids. It irks me to no end when I go to use a container, fill it up, and then turn around and discover that there is no lid. ARRRRRGH!!!! Anyhow, the jumble was getting out of control so I pulled everything out, matched lids and then threw out anything that didn’t have a lid. And then I went to our basement where we have “Tupperward overflow” and did the same, also throwing out all those old crappy free water bottles that I had been collecting down there. I also threw out/recycled a bunch of sippy cups – made me a little wistful remembering the days before my kids could drink from a cup. Isn’t that crazy to think there was a time when drinking out of a cup was hard? Another thing in the “They just keep growing” category. Anyhow, organizing the Tupperware was a very satisfying task. Also – in our previous house, we kept all the Tupperware in a cupboard, and I have to say the deep drawers for storage in this house – I really love them. It would never have occurred to me to have storage drawers instead of shelves beforehand.

Grateful For:
–The Metro worker who filled up my metro card. On our way home from the museum, when I tried to tap out the 6 year old’s card, it didn’t have enough fare on it. Good lesson for me – always tap out after the kid so he’s not stuck on the other side of the gate. The machines at the gate you use to to refill metrocards only take cash. Well, the kid needed 0.15 on his card to make up the rest of his fare and as I was digging through my purse for change, the station worker came up behind me and put money in the fare machine for me. I know it was just 15 cents, but that little bit of generosity really brightened my day. And then on the way home, we took the bus and the bus driver told us not to tap our cards so we rode for free. Not sure why, but it always warms my heart a little when I get to ride for free.

–A Co-worker’s keys – One day I was working in my office all alone and I started packing up to get ready to go pick up the kids from the school bus. I went to the bathroom and then got back to my office and realized that I had left my keys inside. Panic! I had my car keys, and I thought maybe I could just go get the kids (without my coat or purse or phone). The building was pretty empty and I was starting to despair, but then I ran into someone who works in the costume department. She saw that I was clearly stressed and distressed and asked me what was wrong and I said, “I’ve locked my keys in my office and now I’m going to be late to pick up the kids!”
“I think my key opens your office,” she said. “Here take them and see.”
And her keys worked. And relief flooded me. And I wasn’t late for the bus. Well, I was a little late, but the bus was waiting for me when I got there, so it was okay.

–Wool Baselayers – I’ve gotten back into running, but some days it is just so cold – like in the 30s. But I also hate being too hot. I’ve been able to find some not so expensive wool baselayers on sites like Backcountry or Sierra Trading Company. They’re great for cold weather running – keeps the heat in, but doesn’t weigh me down or make me overheat.

-A beautiful Vocal Recital – I had one show to do supertitles for last week. There was a bit of kerfuffle a couple hours before the recital where there was an added song so I had to put together the translation slides very last minute. But it was all good. My favorite piece was a setting of Jamaican songs.

–The six year old who is now seven – What a creative, cerebral little guy he is turning out to be! He can make anything into a rocket ship; he finds endless possibilities in sticks. He loves to sit and think and ponder the world. He’s a little bit of a rule-follower, maybe too much. He’s learning to read and loves to read books and comic strips and the side of cereal boxes and the gps directions from the back seat of the car. He loves music and dance parties. It can’t be easy to be the middle child, but he loves his sisters and gives them lots of hugs. I’m so grateful that he’s part of our family!

Looking Forward To:
–Galavant – This is an enormously fun tv show is a fairy tale musical about a knight on a mission to rescue his lady love from an evil, yet misunderstood tyrant. I had vaguely heard of this show when it came out in 2015; I might even had watched an episode or two. But this was still back when network/cable tv and watching episodes as they were released were a thing, and I was working in Colorado without at tv that summer and couldn’t keep up. Now the show become part of our Friday night routine. Fridays used to be tv and pizza night, but because of the 12 year old’s basketball schedule, we don’t have time for a full movie, so we’ve been trying to find tv shows to watch instead. I’m finding that family friendly tv shows don’t really exist anymore. Either they’re super sophisticated or moronically infantile. This manages to be a bit of both and much more. There is lots of tongue in cheek humour and “spot the star” guest appearances – John Stamos! – but also sword fights and musical numbers. Very much recommend.

–Watercolor classes – Start this Tuesday! I got the syllabus last week and I’m excited to have homework again!

–Knoxville: Summer of 1915. I have another recital coming up the second week of February and I just received the program and texts/translations to prepare the supertitle slides. I am so excited because on the program is one of my favorite pieces of music ever – Samuel Barber’s Knoxville Summer of 1915, a gorgeous gorgeous piece of music, all about the sad beauty and nostalgia of childhood. (I may have mentioned it here before…) I’ve never had a chance to hear it perform live and I’m so looking forward to this recital.

What We Ate:
Monday: Orzo Salad with Peppers and Feta from NY Times Cooking. I had a whole bunch of red peppers in the Hungry Harvest box so this was a good recipe to use them up. I’m reminded yet again that I don’t actually like orzo that much. It’s just too small to chew satisfyingly.

Tuesday: My mother’s chicken wings, steam green beans and tater tots. Red Velvet cake. It was the middle child’s birthday, and this was his birthday dinner request.

Wednesday: Tofu Stir fry. I think the Husband made this.

Thursday: Not quite sure – for some reason I didn’t write down this dinner.

Friday: Cabbage stir fried with noodles from Tenderheart. I have a few heads of cabbage in my fridge to use up. (Though the 12 year old likes to eat cabbage raw and gets annoyed when I actually cook it into something.) This was a great pantry recipe because I could use up all the various yam noodles and rice noodles in the pantry. I’m determined to cook from the pantry the next month or so. This meal was also really quick to come together so we had it before basketball practice. After practice we also had a bonus dinner – pizza and Galavant.

Saturday: Pizza (take-out) and The Barbie movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the Barbie movie – it kind of reminded me of The Velveteen Rabbit, with it’s central idea of how real life with all it’s messy, hard, complicated bits is still worth living.

Sunday: Snack dinner while we watched the football playoffs. Guacamole, chips, crudité plate, brie in pastry.

Monday: Yu Noodles – a local chain. This was where we went to get dumplings and noodles and buns after our trip to the museum. So tasty.

Tuesday: Fried snapper, eaten din lettuce wraps, with cut up carrots and cucumbers. The Husband cooked.

Wednesday: Steamed Tofu and Bok choy with tahini cilantro sauce. Simple, healthy. One kid only at the bok choy, one kid only ate the tofu.

Thursday: Happy Hour after work at a Mexican restuaruant.

Friday: Guacamole snack before basketball practice. Pizza and Galavant after practice.

Onward into February now!

Weekly recap + what we ate: Snow, snow, snow, and show!

This past week was pretty mild, but what a snowy, snowy week we hadthe week previous! I have to say, after having absolutely no snow last year, it was a bit of a shock to have so much snow last week. Of course, still not as much snow as in other parts of the country, but certainly what qualifies for a lot of snow here – maybe 3-5 inches.

The quick version:
-Monday was MLK Day, so no school for the kids. I did have to work, so the Husband was home with them.
-Tuesday: Snow Day!!! Schools were closed, and the building where we rehearsed was on a delay. Also, annoyingly, County summer camp sign ups opened at 6:30a am. So at 8am, I was on the phone with work re-scheduling rehearsal while at the same time on my computer trying to register the six year old for summer camp slots. The Husband worked from home.
-Wednesday: another snow day! Although the 4 year old’s preschool was open. Let me tell you – she loves it when she’s the only one who gets to go to school. Again, the Husband worked from home.
-Thursday: Everyone got to go to school. HOOORAY!!!!
-Friday: Snow day! Again. I had to be in at work around 2pm, so I took the morning shift with the kids and the Husband went in to work. He came home around 12:30pm.

So yup – a grand total of ONE day in school for the older two kids.

In amongst all this – I opened a show and closed a show. I would say I also teched a show, but the process was so quick, I would barely count it as “tech” – just one day of rehearsal onstage. The show was a program of three newly commissioned 20 minute operas. It’s something we do every year and I love participating. There is such excitement about presenting premieres of new works written by young composers and librettist. One piece in particular was so quirky and fun – it takes place in a world after humans are extinct and the characters are microplastics and a tardigrade. I had to google tardigrade and now I feel that much smarter for knowing what a tardigrade is. (If you, like me, didn’t know, it’s a small microscopic creature that can live in extreme conditions and survive anything. They look like little bears. Apparently there’s an Aquanots episode about them.)

So putting up a show combined with a snow week was kind of … a lot. But at least I got to go to work. The Husband’s three day weekend stretched into a five day weekend, and he should get a medal for being home with the kids for all that time.

Things that worked this tech period:
– prioritizing life and work things. I didn’t have an assistant for this show, so I had to really focus on what was important to getting the show up. There was one moment in particular that stood out for me when I declined a meeting invite. It was just a 20-30 minute meeting, and normally I would think, “It’s thirty minutes, I can squeeze that in.” But I decided that, no, actually I’m stage managing a show without an assistant – I need those 20-30 minutes for myself or I won’t get my paperwork done and I will be stressed out – the meeting can wait. It was a bit of a lightbulb for me, to be honest – to be able to say, “That isn’t a good time for me, can we re-schedule?” I have no bones declining meeting when I have to be somewhere else – ie. “I’m only available until 3:30p because I need to pick up the kids.” But somehow, saying, “I can’t do that because I need to finish my paperwork” I don’t know – that had never occurred to me.
– Not worrying about things being pretty. Look, like most stage managers, I love nice paperwork – I love charts and diagrams and running times all lined up. But you know, ultimately getting the information out correctly is the most important thing. So yeah, there was some paperwork that had a mistake and I decided that I’m just going to correct that with a Sharpie rather than try to open the document on my computer and change it. Why waste the paper or my time?
-Packing food, particularly leftovers. I always pack food, but it’s especially helpful because this theatre is farther away from the staff canteen than the other theatre I worked at. I think three out of four days last week, I had leftovers in a tortilla for dinner. Perfect thing to eat efficiently.
-Four Color Frixion Pen. Frixion Pens are one of the best new inventions for stage mangers. Well, at least this stage manager. My favorite is a four colour Frixion pen in black, green, red, and blue. All those colours in one barrel so I can colour code cues in my book without having to pull out another pen. And also the ability to erase cues when things change. Amazing.
-Riding to work with my work bestie. When I’m in tech, my social life suffers and I miss seeing friends. Which is why I love that one of my good friend works with me and we get to ride to work together and talk about life and work and all the things at Trader Joe’s that I miss buying.
– Realizing I’m the stage manager. I have always been more of a self-effacing type of stage manager. It’s not necessarily a good thing. But twice last week, people have said to me, “You get to decide; you’re the stage manager.” Whoa what??? Right. I get to tell people that I want them at a meeting. And, this was the big moment – I get to decide that it’s okay that I wore my snow boots all day because if it’s between taking the time to change into my black shoes and not getting that one last thing done, versus just keeping the damn snow boots on but getting the thing done – I’m going to keep my snow boots on. And the world didn’t end. I mean I don’t think it’s an open invitation to be cavalier and dress unprofessionally, but … in the scheme of things – it’s okay to keep the snow boots on.
-Taking time to go sledding. Last year I bought a sled. Then it didn’t snow. Bummer. So I was very determined to take the kids sledding this year when the snow hit. You know, if it was a choice between taking the kids sledding and making the paperwork pretty – I chose sledding. On Tuesday, I told the kids that if they wanted to go sledding, we had to leave the house by 9:30am and we managed to do it. We drove to the local elementary school where there is a nice hill and went sledding for 45 minutes.
(Funny side note story -while sledding, we ran into a kid that the 12 year old knows from school, and he said snow days at after care were the best – the aftercare company was still providing care that day because the buildings were still open – because you got to play dominos and then after lunch, the after care folks would take all the kids to the hill and give them each a pizza box to go sledding. Doesn’t that just sound like the height of childhood memories?)

So we only have one sled – the other thing is a plastic tub that we use as a water table during the summer. It works great!

Then on Friday, the same thing. I told the kids that if they wanted to go sledding, I would take them, but we had to be ready to go by 9:30am, and again, they were! And honestly, I would have been really disappointed if we hadn’t gone. This time, we also took our neighbor’s kid with us. (I firmly believe in being a village and if I don’t have to be at work until 2pm then why not take an extra kid with us so her parent can have a few hours to work? Plus the kids always love having other kids around and they other family takes our kids sometimes in the evenings too.) I took a few runs down this hill this time in the sled which was really fun, and I thought ahead and brought a Thermos of hot chocolate with us, a lovely treat once we got done sledding.

Looking back on that list, what struck me is that a lot of what made the week go well on my end is that I made very mindful choices about what was important to keeping me going and everything else could be subpar or just dropped. There is a culture in stage management (and theatre, and really, I’m sure a lot of other industries) of pushing yourself and letting work drain every last drop that you have to give. It doesn’t need to be that way. I need to do things in a way that leave me mental margin, so that when the important things come up, I have the bandwidth to deal with that. Even things like taking my kids sledding – being able to step out of the job and concentrate on, “What can I do to make memories with my kids?” – it puts me in a better mood at work because I know that if nothing else, we had 45 minutes of joy that morning. I feel more like there is a bit more balance to me. It relieves a bit of the mental load of wondering if my kids’ are having a good day and the guilt of not being home at bedtime – because you know what? They at least had a good morning and I feel like there’s a bit o (I do still have a lot of guilt and struggle over the fact that the Husband does 95% of the parenting when I’m working and I know it’s a lot to put on his plate… I need to work on how to achieve balance when there is no balance.)

Hopefully writing those “things that worked” will help me remember them next time I’m in tech. Which won’t be until May. That’s a little wild for me to realize that I don’t have a show to work on for a long stretch.

Fun Family Activity – We went to a concert by Elena Moon Park. Park is a musician who reimagines folk songs and children’s songs from around the world, mostly from East Asia – yay Asian representation! I had heard her at an outdoor concert two years ago and I really loved her music so when I had a chance to hear her again, I was really excited to hear her again and take the kids. During the concert, the kids were kind of clingy and they didn’t participate in any of the clapping games or hand gesture-y parts, and I was worried that they weren’t liking it. But afterwards, they were singing bits of the concert, so I guess they did enjoy it after all.

Other nice things this week:
-The six year old reading Dogman to his little sister.

– Dropping the 12 year old and her friend at voice lessons and then going for a walk and re-discovering the Glass Forest. The Glass Forest is a really neat little bit of forest where someone has hung bits of glass and metal and what not from the trees to make a series of sculptures. When you walk through it, the wind knocks the metal and glass together and it’s like walking in a windchime. It’s a little creepy, a little magical. I was on a walk while the 12 year old was at her voice lesson and I happened upon the Glass Forest. I had come here years ago, on some kind of mission to find hidden gems of DC. This definitely fit the bill of “hidden gems” but I had forgotten about it in the years since, so it was a nice surprise to find it again.

-Okay, I feel super pretentious recounting this, but it was such a sweet moment – after sledding on Friday, as we were enjoying our hot chocolate and taking in the snowy views, the six year old says, “Mommy, it looks like a Robert Frost poem!” Lest you think the six year old is some kind of genius budding English scholar – he knows exactly one Robert Frost poem. We have an illustrated version of “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” – and the cover did indeed look like the scene before us:

-And this made me laugh – The Husband and I stayed up late to watch the football game one night. And the 12 year old tried to convince us to let her stay up too. The reason? it was not because she was a huge footballs fan. No – it was the Kansas City game and she wanted to see if she could catch a glimpse of Taylor Swift. We sent her to bed, though I did take a picture of the tv when they showed Swift during one moment.

Current woes – Homework. The first grader has started coming home with homework and he is very reluctant to do it. I alternate between threatening/pleading/cajoling/bribing/etc. him to do it, and just saying “F*ck it! It’s first grade. If he doesn’t want to do it, why should I spend energy getting him to do it?” Then I have a tiny panic spiral about how I’m not setting him up for success and I go back to threatening/pleading/cajoling/bribing/etc. This is not where I want to spend my energy. So truth – it usually only gets done 50% of the time.

I’ve grown very hands off with the 12 year old’s homework. This is not some bold parenting choice. This is just lack of energy. At any rate, she has told me that many of her teachers don’t believe in homework (Great! They should meet the 1st grader’s teacher!). So it is entirely possible that she doesn’t have any homework. I for sure only very rarely see her do homework, and her grades keep coming back solidly average, so I guess she is doing what she is supposed to be doing, whether or not it is homework. As someone whose parents were very involved in my academic progress, I’m feeling a little bit like I ought to care a little bit more.

Grateful For:
-The Husband having the flexibility to handle all the snow days.

-All the super talented people I work with. I know I say this every time, but I work with amazingly competent and supportive people. Everyone knew that I was working without an assistant and there were so many offers of, “What can I do for you?” I guess this is another thing that made last week good – when people offered to help, I let them. I let someone else check the sign in sheets, I let someone else buy me a Coke to get through one long day. I let someone else start rehearsal when I couldn’t make it quite in time after dropping the 4 year old at school following a delayed opening. There is no room to be a martyr here and I’m glad I don’t have to be.

-How beautiful everything looks blanketed in snow. I know living in snowy weather is not always easy or ideal, but it sure is pretty, and I always feel lucky that I get to see it. There is nothing like being cozy inside with a cup of hot tea (or cocoa) while watching the world being buried in snow and silence.

-And also -grateful for snow plows and snow shovels so I can get safely to work. And an all wheel drive vehicle.

-The twelve year old’s friends for coming to celebrate her birthday. We had six kids over to belatedly celebrate the twelve year old’s birthday, with three of them spending the night. The next morning we had waffles and bacon and fruit and then a group of them went to see the new Mean Girls movie. It was a pretty hands off affair for us. We helped them make pizzas, then gave them the run of the basement. I did go downstairs and turn off the tv at 12:30am to a bit of minor protesting. Afterwards, the twelve year old said to me, “Thanks for turning the tv off. I’m really tired and I would be even more tired if you had let me stay up all night.” Wow. That’s a nice bit of self awareness there. Anyhow, I’m glad that her friends came over and that she had a good birthday party.

Looking Forward To:
-I signed up for a slot at Career Day at the 12 year old’s school. I went back and forth on whether or not to sign up – I think I have a pretty fun job, but it’s also a very seasonal job (for me – there are people who do this full time), and I don’t know if non-full time employment is really what Career Day is about? Oh well. I’m nervous – what am I going to talk about for thirty minutes??? But it’s good to do new things, particularly things that scare you a little bit.

-Lighter work load and time to focus on house things. The two big projects are to figure out what to do about my car and moving forward with getting window treatments for the living room. Both projects carry a lot of mental and emotional stress. There’s also little projects like cleaning out the pantry and linen closet. And I really want to label the spice jars on our spice rack. Who knows if I will get that all done, but good to have aspirations.

-Listening to more of this audiobook – narrated by Julia Whelan. Julia Whelan is an amazing audiobook narrator. This book itself has some questionable plot holes and devices that normally would not appeal to me, but Whelan does such a great job that I’ve been sucked in. I can’t tell whether I would like this book if I read it vs. listened to the audiobook.

What We Ate:
Saturday: Parmesan Mint Pasta. The Husband cooked because I was at work. The kids had requested mac and cheese (from the box), and the Husband said this looked more interesting and made it instead. Surprisingly tasty even though it was cold when I ate it after getting home from work.

Sunday: Scavenge. Sundays we usually try to eat down the fridge. I think there was frozen tortellini with red sauce for the kids. Not for dinner, but at lunch I had salt and vinegar stir fried potatoes, to which I added julienned golden beets. A friend had given me a bag of beets from her produce box because she didn’t like beets, so I was looking for ways to eat them. I actually ate some of them raw too – the beauty of golden beets is that they don’t stain your hands deep purple-red.

Monday: Funny story. Before I left for work, I told the Husband that there was tofu in the fridge and he should use it up. Later that day, he texted me asking if the tofu was in a red lidded container. I said, no the tofu is shrink wrapped, still in it’s own packaging.
<I put that in the dinner. > he replied. <It melted.>
Then, I realized what was in that red container.
<That was feta> I texted him.
<Lol!> he writes back. <It is still feta. L said hmmmm that’s smooth, dad!>
So I guess for Monday, they had kung pao feta for dinner. With noodles.

Tuesday: Tofu stir fry. For reals this time.

Wednesday: I made vegan gnocchi soup, a recipe that I’ve made many times because the family loves it. I actually made all of it before I went to work, except the gnocchi and coconut milk – the Husband added that before he served it.

Thursday: I’m not sure what the family had for dinner. I had a ktichen sink sandwich – pickles, hard boiled eggs, cucumbers, avocados, mustard. It was quite messy to eat and now that I think of it – I could have just mashed all that into egg salad and it would have been less messy.

Friday: I had leftover curry eaten in a tortilla wrap at work. The family had waffles.

Saturday: Pizza, make your own as this was the sleepover night. And there was lots of soda and chips involved. But also carrots, cucumbers, and apple slices.

Sunday: Again – scavenge for dinner. The kids had hard boiled eggs and half and avocado each. I’m sure there were other veggies and fruits in there too. I had kimchi friend rice and golden beets pan fried on the griddle. I feel like this is my go to Sunday scavenge dinner – kimchi fried rice and whatever other veggies are in the fridge.

Weekly recap + What We ate – First weeks of 2024!

Two weeks down, 50 more to go until next year.

The first week of January was a pretty chill week – the kids went back to school, I started working on a new show. My mother was here, but then she got sick so we did not see as much of her as we would have liked.

And then this past week has been a rainy rainy one here. Maybe snow this weekend? The week has not gone as I thought it would – a lot of rain and water, including some water in the basement of my parents’ rental property, derailing some plans. We went over with towels and tools, to clean up the water and see if we could see where the water was coming from. The basement had flooded a couple weeks ago, and at that time we thought the water was coming from a clogged outside drain. We cleared the drain, pulled up the flooring and the carpet. Then the rains came again and we were wrong about the source of water, clearly. So more phone calls, more clean up. We were at Home Depot at 9:30pm buying a wet dry vac. Along with six or seven other people. But we are fortunate in that we have the time and money to deal with these problems. I read somewhere that if you have the money to deal with a problem, it is not a problem. I try to remember that.

And now I’m battling a cough and congestion, which is making me super dried out and negatively affecting my sleep. On the one hand, I’ve been so exhausted that I’ve gone to be before midnight most nights (which is early for me!), but on the other hand, I’ve been woken up by frequent bouts of coughing and a super dry mouth so even though I’ve been getting more sleep than I normally do, it hasn’t been really great sleep. But perhaps this is a good sign to myself that I can go to bed before midnight if I want to. It’s that thing bout priorities, right?

The schools closed early on Tuesday because of the rainy weather. The communication from the schools hit our inboxes at 8:30am, just as we were getting ready to head for the bus. Luckily the first part of the week was pretty flexible for me, so I was able to pick up the kids. I had intended to work from home after pick up, but my friend called and said that the voice teacher our kids saw had openings in the early afternoon, so we could move our evening lesson to the afternoon if that was better for us weather wise. So spent the afternoon shuttling the two girls to voice lessons. A bright spot was that we stopped for Boba on the way home, and I’ve discovered the joy of hot boba tea! As in Boba in hot tea. Brilliant and warm and cozy! Boba tea has always been a cold drink for warm weather so I never thought about having it hot.

The weekend before was a nice mix of kids’ activates and house projects.. We had the 11 year old’s first basketball game, then we decided to go get dumplings for lunch from our favorite dumpling house. The restaurant has been undergoing some renovations and the newest addition was a boba counter! Woot. They had a really tasty Mango Pomelo Sago Smoothie which was a nice blend of fruity beverage and and a variety of chewy toppings, with a bit of sour bite from the pomelo. The 11 year old ordered it but didn’t really care for it, so I got to enjoy it. Yay!

Since it was a rainy rainy day, I decided to spend some time purging our book collection. We have a linen closet that we filled with books since we have a linen closet in our bathroom and didn’t actually need another linen closet in the house. We jokingly call it our library. I’ve been determined to pare down our bookshelves, so I took everything out of the library and went through each and every book. It was hard! Ultimately, I only came up with one small box of books to be taken to the donation pile. I had had grand thoughts of bags and bags of books, but came well short. I made a pile of books that I still have yet to read, some of which I’ve been carrying around for almost 20 years. Making my way through some of these books is one of my goals this year. I managed to confine all my books to one shelf of our “library”, stacked three deep. (I do also have a small pile of books up in my room, in addition to the stack of books from the library by my chair in the living room. )

The TBR pile. I think I’m going to start with My Name is Lucy Barton and East of Eden.

The book project took all weekend, while at the same time the Husband took down Christmas. Between the books everywhere and the storage boxes for the Christmas stuff, one had to tread carefully around the house.

Sunday we continued our book and de-Christmasing project, but we also had agility class for the 4 year old and then skating for the 4 and 6 year old. Since skating lessons also come with passes to open skate, we stayed after lessons to do some extra skating. I bought a book of skating passes for myself too so that I could go skating with the kids. It’s fun now that both kids can skate very independently – I can actually feel like I’m getting some active movement in when I skate with them since I don’t have a child clinging to me on the ice.

I might have overbooked us for kids’ activities for this first quarter, but since I’m light on work and can drive carpool, it seemed like a good opportunity to sign kids up for things that they wanted to do but which would be logistically hard for us to do when I’m working evenings and weekends. On the docket:
11 year old – piano, voice lessons (she’s been asking for a while so we started these last month), basket ball (rec league and skill development work out – she’s playing basketball 3-4 times a week right now.), swimming, and religious ed classes.
6 year old- piano, skating lessons, religious ed classes. He mentioned wanting to do coding class, and those are offered as an after school activity so we might do that. Also sewing classes next month. (I asked him what he wanted to learn to do and he said he wanted to learn to sew!)
4 year old – agility class, skating, and trampoline classes. The trampoline classes are mid afternoon, so I’m taking advantage of my lighter work schedule to get her to these. I have such mixed feelings about enrolling her in full on gymnastics – probably my own baggage from having done it before – I think she would be very good and enjoy it, but I have a lot of trepidation about gymnastics as a toxic environment and also it being a dangerous activity. Probably something I need to unpack for myself….
And then also for the grown ups – I’ve enrolled in watercolor classes and the Husband signed up for a semester of teaching ESL. I’m really excited that we’re both taking time to pursue something outside of the daily grind of kids and work. The rest of the year is looking to be really full for me work-wise, so I want to take this time to lean into the “life” part of work/life.

Also – speaking of activities – Summer camp registration has started and it is majorly stressing me out! I have a tentative work offer so I know when we need to have coverage. The summer camp provided by our after care was already full when I checked in the first week of January. That would have been the easy option since the 6 year old has lots of friends there and it’s not too expensive. So I guess we’ll be quilting together summer care for him – that’ll probably be a project for next week. The oldest will probably have a combination of theatre camp, basketball camp, and doing nothing around the house.

Random new skill learned. I figured out how to do a fishtail braid! Even though the fishtail braid had been explained to me before, I never could quite do it. A few weeks ago, the 11 year old borrowed a book on braids from the library and wanted me to do some of the braids from the book in her hair. So I gave the fishtail another try, and I think I got it! I love how tiny detailed it looks. It does take more time than a regular three strand braid, though. Yay for learning new things.

Two Podcasts at the right time for me:

This episode of Radical Candor: “Podcast Season 5, Episode 27: “Your ‘Nice’ Workplace Culture is Fraught With False Harmony” I’m newly in a position at work where it is now part of my job to have feedback sessions, and as someone who strives to provide a kind work environment, I want to be positive in feedback sessions – but is that useful? Where is the line between feedback on how one does something vs. micromanaging someone else’s style? This episode talks about how being nice can be counterproductive and even toxic, and it was good food for thought for me when thinking of how I want the culture of our stage management team to work.

This episode from The Puberty Podcast: Consequences and Discipline with Tina Payne Bryson. I’ve been struggling with how I react to the 11 year old (well, now 12 year old)’s moments of … well, tween-ness. I thought this episode was really great for reminding me that part of my work as a parent is to help my kids figure out how to “life”. Payne Bryson points out that the word discipline comes from the Latin word for “learning”. One thing I really love about the Puberty Podcast is that it gives me actual things to say, and one great phrase from this episode is: “I know that you know that X needs to happen. What’s your plan?” I love that the phrase allows the kid to realize that you know they can think for themselves. It’s a great episode.

Grateful for:
–The Return of my Rain coat. Back in November, I got home after the last performance of my fall show and realized that I had left my rain coat at the theatre. I was so frustrated! I had finally splurged and purchased a good quality raincoat and now I had gone and lost it. All December I had a replacement raincoat in my online shopping cart, but I couldn’t bring myself to spend another $130 on a raincoat, when I had been so stupid as to have lost my original one. Luckily I had a windbreaker that I could use, but it wasn’t long like my raincoat and it didn’t fit as well. Anyhow, my first day back at work after the new year, I walked into my office and there, outside my office was my raincoat! I guess the costume crew had found it when they were loading out of the theatre so they sent it back to the costume shop/rehearsal studio. Amazing! I felt so lucky – I got my coat back just in time for the rains to start.

–Past me for putting my keys in a safe place. I always put my office keys in the same pocket of my purse. I hadn’t been to my office in almost three weeks, and as I was walking up to the door, I reached into that pocket and pulled out my keys. It’s such a small thing, but I’m really glad that past me is so consistent about putting keys in the same spot so I can find them even after two weeks of not being in the office.

–Hand me down baby clothes. The Husband has a coworker who just adopted a baby so I gathered some baby clothes we still had laying around, and bundled them up to pass along. I have to e honest – I’ve been having a hard time getting rid of the baby clothes. We aren’t having any more kids, but I have so many cozy, sweet memories associated with the baby clothes that it’s been hard for me to let go. Anyhow, as I was pulling together clothes to give to my Husband’s coworker, I remembered how most of the clothes that we had when our kids were infants were hand me downs from friends and acquaintances. How lucky we were! It made me a little wistful to pass along the baby clothes, but I’m glad another little baby will get to wear them.

–The 11 year old, who is now 12! Speaking of baby clothes… This week we celebrated another birthday – it’s hard to believe that we have been parents for 12 years. We celebrated by going to Indian Food and, as is tradition in our family, she got to choose a breakfast cereal (she chose Kellogg’s Smart Start). She’ll have a sleepover party next weekend, since I was working this weekend and didn’t think it fair to have the Husband solo parent a sleepover with 5 tweens. I’m so grateful for this big-hearted, kind, observant, sympathetic, creative person who loves to read, draw, play with her siblings, and make messes in the kitchen. She teaches me so much about patience and listening. I had made a cake for her, but I was lazy so I just oil and floured the pan, rather than lining with parchment as I usually do. So when I tried to turn the cake out of the pan, half of it stuck and it fell apart. Bummer. And then I had to go to work and didn’t have time to deal with it or try to patch it back with frosting. We ended up just eating it with whipped cream when we got home from the Indian restaurant, which was probably just as well since none of us likes frosting that much.

the newly 12 year old and her sad cake! Why is she wearing maternity ward blanket around her neck??

Looking Forward To:
– We’ve booked plane tickets to visit my brother in California for Spring Break! We haven’t been to California since pre-pandemic. I always feel bad that my brother comes to visit us at least once every 18 months or so. Of course he only has one kid, so it’s cheaper for him to come to us, but still…

-Speaking of travel – I finally sent off my passport for renewal. Yay. Looking forward to getting that. I really hope my grandfather in Taiwan stays healthy until I get my passport back.

-Getting through birthday season. I always think I should plan something social for January, but then I realize that two kids have birthdays so we have to plan those, and that is enough planning for me. We haven’t really figured out the logistics of the 6 year old’s party, so that might actually happen in February. He wanted a Chuck E. Cheese party again, but upon further probing, we realized that he just wants to play the games – the actual birthday yay! part with the person in the mouse costume actually freaks him out. So I think we’ll just take a couple friends to Chuck E. Cheese to play games and then take the out to our favorite dumpling for lunch. I think the idea is have him plan his perfect day and take some friends along too.

-Tech and performances of my current show. Another short project, but even still, short projects require a lot of the same amount of work as longer projects. But… balls get dropped (in life and in work.) Some might re-frame these dropped balls as prioritizing… It certainly is an exercise in that. Anyhow, on the docket for my free day to prep for tech week:
*boil eggs (so I have easy protein on hand)
*plan my outfits for the week
*meal plan – figure out which days I can prep dinner before I go to work and which the Husband can cook. Also think through what I can bring for dinner.
*re-schedule the 4 year old’s tumbling class
*stock up on fruits and veggies so I have healthy things to eat
*baking for quick breakfast options to grab on harried mornings.

What We Ate:
Monday (New Year’s Day): Pizza (take out) and Holiday Road (cute Hallmark movie.)

Tuesday: Chili, which the Husband made.

Wednesday: Broccoli Spoon Salad, (mostly) from the New York Times. This was a great salad – farro (the original recipe was for quinoa, but we had farro in the pantry), broccoli, pecans, apples, and cheddar. The original recipe also called for dried cranberries, but I didn’t have those. Mix up a Dijon mustard vinaigrette to go over it. I think they call it a spoon salad because it has all the good stuff you can eat it with a spoon, and it doesn’t have lettuce which requires a fork. Super easy and tasty recipe.

Thursday: Leftover Chili from Tuesday.

Friday: Lentil Soup – from the Good Housekeeping Instant Pot cook book. A quick and easy recipe before basketball practice. The family was definitley mixed on this recipe, but I told the kids that lentils were really good for your body and good for the environment and they decided that was an okay reason to eat it.

Saturday: Pizza (Take out) and Sing. I had forgotten what a good movie Sing was. Such a good movie!

Sunday: Leftover day. I had Brussel sprouts sauteed with kimchi. We had been gifted a huge stalk of Brussel sprouts last month and hadn’t touched it. Those things laaaaaaast, though. This week I started sautéing Brussel sprouts for breakfast because I was determined to finish the stalk. I think the rest of the family had leftover pizza from the night before.

Monday: Miso Mushroom Ragout from Hetty Liu McKinnon’s Tenderheart cookbook. Tasty, but it doesn’t actually make that much sauce so I added a bunch of extra mushrooms.

Tuesday: Roasted Salmon, Cesar Salad (from a bag), and Israeli couscous salad. This dinner came together surprisingly quickly given that the salmon was still mostly frozen when we started. The couscous salad was really tasty – full of feta cheese cucumbers, parsley.

Wednesday: White beans in the Instant Pot (New York Times recipe), served with toast and gochujang Brussel Sprouts (again from Tenderheart) with rice. The Brussel Sprouts used up the last of the stalk. I kept some brussel sprouts without the spicy glaze for the kids. Their loss – it was really good. toast and rice seems redundant, but the 6 year old wanted to rice to go with his Brussel Sprouts, so there you go.

Thursday: Indian food take-out.

Friday: pizza (take out) and Stargate SG-1. The oldest came back pretty late from basketball and there wasn’t time for a full movie, so I looked up good tv shows to watch with kids and Stargate SG-1 came up. The kids have been really into the Mandalorian, so I thought another sci-fi show might be up their alley. I though the story telling was really good, but the show is definitely dated. At one point, the oldest turned to me and said, “Why are there so many white people on this show?” And there’s all sorts of sexist stuff going on. I’m mildly interested in seeing the rest of the series (and there are something like 10 seasons), I don’t quite feel that invested quite yet.

Saturday: Parmesan mint pasta – a Mark Bittman recipe from the NYTimes.

(I wrote most of the above t this morning, but didn’t publish before having to run kids to all their activities. The day ended up being sunny on one horizon and grey on another, with rain in the forecast. I had planned to go for a run while the kids were at skating lessons and decided to chance it, even though it seemed like we were minutes from rain. I hadn’t run in a while and I didn’t know if I would be able to fit in a run this week since I would be at the theatre, so I wanted to get one in. I dropped the kids at skating then took off outside. I got a few steps into my run and I heard rather than felt something start pelting down and I thought, somewhat peevishly “Oh man, my one chance to run and it’s going to rain on me!” But then I realized – it wasn’t raining, it was snowing! Big fluffy flakes. “I can run in snow!” I thought. Snow isn’t as wet as rain – it floats down and kind of just dissipates, as opposed to rain that just drenches and gets into my bones. So I just kept running and breathed the cold, fresh air and watched the flakes come down fast and sideways. It was actually pretty cold – in the mid 40s – so I didn’t run too long – just 20 mins with a 5 minute walk. Nonetheless, I’m so glad I decided to stick it out. It turns out there’s a lovely trail next to the skating arena, so fitting in a run while the kids skate might not be a bad way to get my run in.

Hope everyone is staying cozy and safe!