Recap and Menu – Page 16 – Life Off Headset

Weekly Recap + what we ate

The ups and downs of kite flying. A metaphor for the week?

It’s been a week. I feel a little cynical whenever people call say, “This is an historic election.” or “This is an important election.” or something similarly dramatic. Because isn’t every election historic? And important? But there was definitely a confluence of things that made this election season feel not the same old same old.

Saturday was Halloween. We started the day by going on a hike with my friend Kristen. I bribed the kids with hot chocolate, which I put in a vintage Thermopot that the Husband’s parents had had in their basement, and we drank after the hike.

Given the COVID situations, we did not go out trick or treating that evening, but I felt like the day still needed some commemoration. So we strung up the candy corn lights and put out the jack o lantern. The eight year old had this game changing idea to put battery operated string lights inside the Jack o lantern. Brilliant! I didn’t have to try to light the tea candles or worry about things catching on fire. And the lights were purple, which gave a really cool glow.

Despite having made costumes for the kids, they did not put them on. Instead, we tried out our fire pit (smoky, not as warm as I thought it would be.) We put a bowl of candy out on the porch, but I think the only person who took a piece was the mail carrier, who was strangely delivering mail at 7:30pm. Mail slow down indeed.

The weather was beautiful all week. Monday was warm yet windy. We took advantage of the 8 year old’s 90 minute lunch break to fly a kite at the nearby park. This is that park that was under construction these past few months and when we went to check out the diggers on Monday morning, it was complete! The orange fencing was taken down and it was ready for play. The lunch break trip to the park might become a more regular part of our routine.

The double swing in action! I think you are actually supposed to stand on the swing on the right.

The eight year old had Tuesday and Wednesday off school. Election Day is typically a day off for them, and Wednesday was an added planning day for the teachers. I had joked that I should have taken them to a cabin in the woods and gone into a media blackout until things shook out. Instead, I took them hiking in the Shenandoahs.

If I thought too much about it, taking three young children hiking my myself was probably ambitious.

“Just don’t let anyone fall off a cliff,” The Husband said.

I packed sandwiches (peanut butter and jam and peanut butter and bananas) and lots of snacks and water. A couple diapers, a change of clothes for the two younger kids. And oh, yes, a thermos of hot chocolate. Which seems to be the bribe of the moment. I found the eight year old’s camera that morning, quickly charged the battery, and gave it to her to capture what she wanted.

It took about two hours to get to the Shenandoahs. We stopped at a picnic area for lunch and then headed to Stony Man Trail. With the baby in the hiking carrier, and the three year old carrying the backpack of snacks, we headed up the mountain.

It was a relatively moderate hike, and the view at the top was spectacular, though a little scary. I definitely had visions of the Husband saying to me, “I told you not to let anyone fall of a cliff.” At the top, we had our hot chocolate, still steaming as we poured it from the thermos. It was a very good bribe.

I was really fascinated during our hike of all the scrappy and resourceful ways things manage to grow. These trees, for example – they thrive in, what to my eyes, is an unusual way. But perhaps it isn’t that unusual, when things are left to their own devices.

Upon our return Tuesday night we stayed up to watch the election returns. I remember doing the same thing four years ago, and going to bed feeling so defeated after Pennsylvania was called for Trump. We let the kids stay up until about 10:00p. There is a fine line between watching election results as civic education and watching election results as entertainment. With the flashy maps and graphics and fast talking commentators, the kids were certainly riveted.

As much of a nail biter as the election was four years ago, it was even more so this year. There was a certain nerve-wracking tedium to the slow trickle of election returns. At a certain point in the evening we started watching the Law and Order marathon on WE. I went to bed around 1am, with several states still counting.

The counting went on all week. It definitely dominated the news cycle. To think that the answer to “Who will be the President?” was out there in these millions of slips of paper that people were counting. I feel kind of inspired to look into being a poll worker for the next election.

This week in art class, we work on stipple technique. When she was explaining the technique to us, the instructor said that it was a somewhat time-consuming technique and to make sure to plan our time well to finish the assignment. It was indeed time-consuming, and truth to tell, somewhat tedious. But at the same time you couldn’t let your mind wander or you would over stipple and, since this was a project in pen, mistakes were irrevocable. You can see evidence of that in the toe of the boot on the left.

The assignment was to draw a pair of shoes. I loved seeing the variety of shoes that people drew. I ended up quite liking this assignment. It was mentally challenging and visually interesting. I definitely wanted to try it again.

Baby milestones this week: She started waving. So adorable. She also started wearing shoes this week. They are the same shoes her brother wore when he started walking!

Other pretty things: This week in the preschool curriculum that I’m loosely doing with the three year old, we are learning about mixing colours. One of the activities combines mixing colours with practicing pouring skills. The three year old loved this activity and it kept him busy for at least half an hour. LUckily the weather was gorgeous enough to do this activity outside. And I thought it was rather pretty too!

What We Ate:
The Husband offered to cook this week! I still did Sunday, but he did all the rest.

Saturday: Sausage sandwiches

Sunday: Salmon burgers from Dinner Illustrated. I think we ate these with cut up veggies.

Monday: I can’t for the life of me remember….

Tuesday: Breakfast Sandwiches.

Wednesday: Carnitas and Nachos.

Thursday: Butternut squash soup, salad and chicken sausages.

Friday: Pizza and Oliver and Company. Cute movie. Innocuous and short. It was the three year old’s turn to choose. Usually he chooses to watch The Stinky and Dirty show unless we intervene suggestively. Which we did this time. I’ve been borrowing movies from the library and it’s been working pretty well.

Weekly Recap + what we ate

Voting was at the top of my list this week, and I did that. There is a drop box at the library and I dropped my ballot there on my weekly library book run. I’m a big fan of early voting and voting by drop off ballot. I hope this continues to be an options. It is so much more convenient. Also, I feel like actually having the ballot made me more interested in researching the ballot measures.

I finished up the Halloween costumes this week. The three year old was a cloud. I had had plans to draw some raindrops on a pair of grey pants, but I didn’t get that far. The three year old was definitely unenthusiastic about wearing his costume, but then I told him he could ram people while wearing it, and he put it right on and proceeded to run at me over and over again. The baby still has to be bribed with food to wear her costume. The eight year old and I made a rainbow headband to go with her rainbow dress. I do wonder if at some point the younger kids will realize that they get to choose their own costume and they don’t have to go with whatever group costume their sister picks. I do like a good family costume, though.

I felt like I had a lot of errands to run this week. The car had to go in for an emissions test, library books to pick up, Halloween candy to buy, packages to return. I went into Target for the first time in a while and it was actually kind of overwhelming. I had forgotten that there was so much stuff in the world to be purchased and put in our homes. I am by no means a minimalist, but I do feel like the past six months without casual Target runs has helped me focus on what I do have in the house rather than what I don’t.

This week in drawing class, we worked on reverse value drawings. Using white conte crayon on black paper, we drew the areas of light on a page, rather than the areas of dark that we had done with the last assignment.

I felt like this assignment was quite difficult because you couldn’t erase like you could with the charcoal. At the same time, it was also a very dramatic and high impact method of drawing. I’m actually really happy with how my drawing turned out.

random collection of light capturing objects.

Friday night we carved the pumpkin. Well, actually, I carved the pumpkin. The kids usually come up with the design, but I am the one who actually wields the sharp objects. The eight year old did help pull out the guts. But all in all, it is one of those activities which the kids are really enthusiastic about and then half way through, I’m in my artistic Zen moment and look up to realize that the kids are nowhere to be found.

Every Halloween I’ve carved the pumpkin with a combination of a drill and my leatherman. And as much fun as that is, every year I say, “I should get a pumpkin carving kit.”

This year the Husband got me a pumpkin carving kit. I’m still on the fence as to whether it makes carving pumpkins easier, but it definitely gives you more tricks to pull out. I was able to carve “Boo” on the back of my pumpkin by whittling away the skin until there was a thin membrane of flesh that glowed when the light was put in the pumpkin.

Random food tidbit- The weather has cooled this past week, with many rainy days. Cooler weather is oatmeal for breakfast weather. One of my favorite ways to eat oatmeal is to treat it almost like a congee: sprinkled with scallions and ginger, drizzled with sesame oil and ume vinegar and topped with a boiled egg with a little bit of soy sauce. It is one of my favorite savory breakfasts.

What I’m listening to right now:
-Podcasts, some conservative ones. I was feeling like my left wing/ liberal/ NPR bubble was getting predictable, and I wanted to hear some different viewpoints. One of the podcasts I’ve been listening to is The National Review’s The Editors podcast. I don’t always agree with what they say, but I do see the logic of their viewpoints.
– CDs. When I was in college, I spent a lot of money on CDs at the Princeton Record Exchange. Lately I’ve been pulling out some of those CDs and revisiting my college days. I could probably do a deep dive into the contents of my CD library – it is mostly opera, musicals, movie soundtracks, early music, and obscure vocal music. One of the albums I’ve been listening to lately is music by the 17th Century Roman Composer Giovanni Felice Sances. I was in a record store one time – maybe it was Tower Records? – and back then the stores would have music stations with headphones set up among the CD racks, and one could listen to new release CDs. (Definitely a pre-COVID thing. Actually I guess it’s a pre iTunes/Spotify/Pandora, etc. thing) I was browsing the CD racks and this guy is listening at the station next to me. He suddenly turns to me and says, “You should listen to this one. It’s really good.” So I put the headphones on and pressed play. And it was like listening to Italian sunshine dancing with joy. So I bought that CD. 17th Century Music for sopranos, harp and guitar by Sances, performed by Musica Fabula, for the record (pun! Also – Classical albums are not the best at naming themselves, it would seem.) Google yields no trace of that CD, but if you can find it, it’s fabulous.

What We Ate:

Saturday: We finally got wings this night. We ordered the family pack which was sooo much food, but really tasty.

Sunday: Mushroom, spinach, ham crepes. Another kitchen sink meal.

Monday: Lamb meatballs and Greek salad

Tuesday: Broccoli and tofu stir fry with noodles. Used up the rest of the egg noodles from last week’s eggplant salad.

Wednesday: Braised chicken with squash and greens. The sauce for this was really tasty and the baby devoured the squash in the recipe.

Thursday: Indian Instant Pot Black Eyed Peas and Spinach, and Cumin Potatoes and Cauliflower

Friday: Pizza, Arni’s Jr Salads, and The Greatest Showman. The Husband and I saw this in the theatre when it first came out – it was one of our first dates after the three year old was born. It is still the glitzy, shiny, fun and heartfelt movie that I remember. And Hugh Jackman is insanely beautiful and talented.

Weekly Recap + what we ate

I feel like this picture of my hand pretty much sums up a lot of my week.

First, there is the burn mark from where I splattered hot roux on my hand while making gumbo. That hurt like a motherf-cker. I now understand why boiling oil was used as a lethal weapon during medieval times. It could absolutely be a lethal weapon in current times. Despite the fact that every single gumbo recipe I read had some variation of the phrase, “Be careful not to let the roux splatter….” I still managed to do it.

Then there is the streak of pink nail polish from the late night when, as I was reaching for my toothbrush, I knocked a jar of nail polish on the floor, shattering it and splattering pink nail polish across our white bathroom tile. You know that horrific feeling you have when you look at a mess and realize how un-clean-up-able it is? Yeah that. I managed to find a jar of nail polish remover and got most of it off the tile. It is still imbedded in the grout, however. And I’m sure inhaling nail polish remover at 2am did wonders for me.

Then there is the general ugliness of an eczema flare up. I’ve had eczema on my hand since just after my oldest was born. When I went to the dermatologist about it he said, “Well, my suggestions would be to get a platinum wedding band and also to stop doing the dishes.” While I could totally get behind those two suggestions, I thought they were a little impractical. I stopped wearing my wedding ring and started wearing gloves to wash the dishes instead. Anyhow, the eczema tends to rear it’s head with the slightest provocation; stress, hormones, diet… Who know why, but it’s been particularly bad lately.

Which is all to say my right hand is kind of a mess right now.

Other things this week… We took family photos. Lessons learned this time around:
1) It’s all about the accessories. I think I tried on everything in my closet, but couldn’t decide what to wear. I finally settled on a very uninteresting grey dress and was decidedly lukewarm about it. This was about half an hour before I had to leave. But I decided that blah was better than nothing. But as I was getting my shoes on, I remembered – I love hats. So I put one on and then added a scarf and suddenly I loved my outfit. Hooray!
2) No one will wear what you want them to wear. And it doesn’t matter. I spent so much time trying to pick the perfectly coordinated a but not too matchy outfits for a cool fall afternoon. And then it was 78 degrees. And the eight year old decided that she didn’t want to wear the original dress because she wanted to save it for Halloween. And the three year old wanted to wear his pink panda crocs. The baby didn’t fit the original dress I picked and did fit in a cute outfit that didn’t go with my carefully curated colour scheme. Agh! Next time I’ll save my mental energy and it can be a free for all.
3) Take the picture of the kids first. We left the group picture of the kids for last, and by then the baby was losing her shit. I’m pretty sure in all the pictures she is either eating a goldfish cracker or bawling her eyes out. Next time, I think we’ll make sure to do the kids pictures first. Maybe even start earlier in the afternoon and have the Husband come later.

This week in drawing class we worked on value. That is to say lightness, darkenss, and shadows. I feel like charcoal makes every drawing look better. This assignment really challenged me to to look at light and dark as not stark opposites, but rather as gentle gradations leading to each other. I’m used to thinking shadows are dark, but really they often aren’t the darkest things in an image.

I call this one “Still life with child” – note the three year old’s contribution over on the right.

Lately while working on my drawing assignments, I’ve been listening to Elaine Paige On Sunday. It’s a radio show about musical theatre hosted by one of the super stars of musical theatre. There is something beautifully unironic about musical theatre – the bold wearing of one’s heart on one’s shoulder is probably considered unfashionable these days. Having big feeling is no longer cool, it seems. Any how, I’ve been loving listening to this radio show, even periodically singing along. I’d forgotten how many wonderful, clever, powerful, heartfelt songs are out there. I’m also enjoying hearing what is current in the musical theatre world. I’m (shockingly!) unfamiliar with Hamilton, but I think perhaps I will put it on my “to listen” list.

Another fun thing – One day the Husband and I went to the appliance store to look at ranges. The trip was shorter than anticipated because the store we went to had only one double oven on display and it wasn’t one that we were interested in. So here we were with some unexpected free time.
“Let’s go get milkshakes,” one of us suggested.
“And fries?”
“And fries.”

So we got milkshakes and fries from Five Guys and went to sit at the park. Salty hot fries dipped in sweet, thick milkshakes is one of my favorite food indulgences.

After we finished our shakes and fries, the kids went to play on the playground. I put the baby in a swing, which she loved with all her baby joy. Then the three year old came over and wanted on the swing. But there was not bucket swing available. So I put him on the regular swing and gave him a push. Then, I said to him, “I’m going to teach you something. When you go forward put your legs out. When you go backwards, bring your legs in.”

And he got it! He started pumping his strong sturdy little three year old legs! I nothing else, I have given him this one little life skill.

This week’s to do list:
-pay the bills
-vote.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Gumbo. The cause of the hand mishap. I actually made this on Friday so that the gumbo would have a chance to sit and improve overnight. This was my first attempt – I was trying to find recipes to use up some peppers and celery and I’ve always enjoyed gumbo at restaurants, so I thought I’d give it a try. Aside from the scalding roux, it was very straight forward to make, and ended up being quite tasty. Not sure if it was authentic at all, but I feel like one shouldn’t let what food should be get in the way of what it is.

Sunday: Cauliflower tacos with homemade tortillas! From Dinner Illustrated. I didn’t have mango, so I made the slaw with apples instead. I think cabbage slaw is one of my pandemic discoveries.

Monday: The Husband cooked. He made Greek green beans, pork, and udon noodles.

Tuesday: Eggplant noodle salad. From the Greens cookbook.

Wednesday: Dumplings and leftovers. We had tried to get wings, thinking that would be a quick simple meal for post photo shoot, but then the wings placed turned out to be closed. So we punted, went home and had dumplings from the freezer and left over noodle salad.

Thursday: Take out banh mi sandwiches. Second attempt at wings, but they were closed again. Bummer.

Friday: Pizza and move – Troop Zero. Movie about a group of scrappy kids who form a girl scout like troop. Full of great performances of quirky, heartfelt characters.

Weekly Recap + what we ate

Ghost sightings on our neighborhood walk.

This week definitely felt like the rut. I had a video chat with a friend and she said that life these days was kind of like, “Lather, rinse, and repeat.”

Halloween is coming up. I’m a little torn about how to mark the occasion. The eight year old loves Halloween, and she has come up with a family costume concept. Last year they all went as characters from The Little Prince – the eight year old was a Rose with a costume courtesy of a costume sale at work; the three year old was the Fox; and the baby was the Little Prince himself – basically a green sleeper and a yellow scarf. This year they will all be weather themed. I’ve finished the baby’s costume, but she will only wear it if bribed with food…

The baby is really into climbing on chairs these days. If the chairs are tucked in or inaccessible, she will pull them out so she can climb on them. I made a comment to the Husband how 75% of my day is pulling the baby off chairs. If I don’t get her off the chairs, she will do one of several things: 1) rock back and forth while holding on to the back of the chair, 2) climb onto the dining table/ her sister’s distance learning table/ any variety of table that is around, 3) get into stuff -the other day she got into my sewing things and started pulling the pins out of the pin cushion, 3) get herself stuck under the table if she hasn’t pulled the chair out far enough, 4) Lord knows what else. I love her persistent sense of exploration, but man is it exhausting to keep up with her. Given that the other two kids were still months from crawling when they were this age, it’s definitely been something I wasn’t quite prepared for.

One thing we started doing is putting the chairs on their sides after meals. It kind of makes our dining room look like the aftermath of battle, with all the fallen chairs.

Being with the kids every single moment, I’m finding myself noticing milestones in more minute ways than before. Like this past week the baby also has started putting things away – if you give her a cup and open the cup drawer, she will put it in. If you hand her her dirty clothes, she will put them in the hamper. I feel like with my other kids, these things seemed to happen more gradually. Perhaps they did, perhaps they didn’t. Either way, I feel like I’m noticing the baby’s lightbulb moments more – the moment when she does something and realizes she did it. And then does it again.

This week’s drawing class assignment was about mapping and siting – that is to say, being able to take proportions and recreate them on the page. We had to set up a still life and draw it. This was mine:

The sippy cup was my initial inspiration – I thought the shape of it would be visually interesting. And from there, I added other feeding adjacent items. But, it turns out that most baby and feeding things are all curves and soft edges. I’m sure there is something purposefully “feminine” in that design, but the homogeneity of line doesn’t make for a very complex still life. So I added the pile of books – which I guess are kind of a feeding item since I do a lot of reading while pumping and nursing. On the whole I’m quite delighted with this little slice of right now life.

I’m really enjoying the two older kids playing together these days. Usually it is some imaginative play session led by the eight year old. Last week, they got good use of the backyard playing things like “Coronation Day” and “Camping”. The latter involved making a “fire” out of overgrown okra pods.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Smoked Salmon and Bagels. It was simple Saturday and this is about as simple as it gets. Bagels, cream cheese, smoked salmon, onions, tomatoes, capers.

Sunday: Squash and Apple Schwarma. Ages ago we had a subscription to a vegan meal kit. At the time, the meal kit’s recipes were being developed by Mark Bittman, which was one of the main draws for my wanting to subscribe. Anyhow we no longer subscribe, but several of the recipes that we got from the kit was still use, this one most of all. It is the perfect balance of savory and sweet and a good way to use up squash.

Monday: Stir Fry Bok Choy, Mushrooms, Tofu. Kitchen sink stir fry.

Tuesday: Pasta with Mustard Greens and capers. This is adapted from Dinner Illustrated. The original recipe calls for broccoli rabe.

Wednesday: The Husband cooked. He made some kind of corn, cheese, one pot thingy that we ate in wraps. It was actually quite tasty.

Thursday: Mac ‘n’ cheese and hot dogs. The Husband made post dance class dinner. Although, I think in truth the eight year old made the mac ‘n’ cheese – it was the stuff in the blue box.

Friday: pizza and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. It was the eight year old’s turn to choose. She’s been really into seeing all the Star Wars movies. I’m not as into the whole franchise as other people in this house, but I thought this one was pretty good – it was surprisingly funny, which I think is the mark of J.J. Abrams.

Weekly Recap + what we ate

I spent the weekend swapping the baby’s 6 month clothes out for 12 month clothes. The nine month clothes still fit. She grows so fast! Most of the 12 month clothes we had were “boy” clothes, left over from the 3 year old. Much as I say it’s ok for her to wear boy clothes, I do love seeing her wear something pretty once in a while. Luckily another mom from my mom’s group was passing along two big bags of 12 month clothes. So I passed along a good chunk of our 12 month boy clothes to yet another mom in my mom’s group. (All this handing down of baby clothes reminds me of the section in Adam Minter’s book where he talks about how very little baby clothes actually make it to third world countries, where a lot of our donated clothing ends up. Baby clothes tend to get very little wear, so they are passed along among friends or resold here in America.)

Fall has settled in. I booked some family photos, and used this handy peak foliage map to decide on a date that would have good fall colour. Now I’m obsessed with trying to decide what we will all wear.

We’ve been playing Uno on Sunday nights. The three year old manages to play a proper card once in a while. It’s adorable because he likes to yell “Uno!” every time he drops a card in the pile, even though he has a hoard of cards still sitting in front of him. Last week, the husband also made hot chocolate to go with our Uno game. It was what you see in the dictionary under “cozy.”

My parents sent us a care package this week. Yay for getting mail! In the box was a 100 pack of face masks – the high quality kind from Taiwan. Apparently the masks from Taiwan are really difficult to procure. There might have been an email chain last week from my cousin, on behalf of my aunt who had access to a shipment from Taiwan. It would involve a pick up location in a parking lot.

Also in the package were three dragon fruits from my parent’s tree. The baby and the three year old love dragon fruit. The eight year old will eat it if I freeze it. I love the vivid pink colour of the skin. It sort of belies the mellow, almost bland flavour of the flesh inside.

On Thursday, I took the baby down to the Reach for my weekly happy hour with my friend Kristen. Despite working literally across the plaza, I had not been to the Reach. It was a little surreal to be at the Kennedy Center and see it all closed up and quiet.

The Husband moved the drafting table into the sunroom, and I’ve been very much enjoying the soft light and sense of place of having a drawing nook. This week’s homework was about drawing negative space – the areas that make up the emptiness around an object. The idea that an object is not defined just by its own shape, but also about the shapes it creates in space. For me, it was the kind of assignment where once I recognized the concept and started thinking about it, I started looking for negative space in the world around me.

Cute things the three year old says:
“You never know where your dragon is.”
“But it’s so bouncy!” Said in response to our admoniation that he shouldn’t be rough with the baby’s head.
“Is that squishy food?” Asking about everything and if the answer is “Yes”, he will try to feed it to the baby.

It’s crazy to think, but eighteen months ago, the three year old was still nursing to sleep and didn’t really speak. He was actually about to start working with a speech therapist to address the speech delay. And now, I read him chapters from my books to put him to bed (last month it was Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee), and he is using words like “organize”. I’m on my college’s alumni listserv for parents, and one thing the wise parent there always say is “This too shall pass.” It is often used as a mantra for challenging times, but I think it is also a beautiful reminder to capture and savour all the fleeting moments of growing children.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Butter chicken – leftover sauce from our last time making butter chicken. Also, thanks to the Instant Pot I was able to cook the chicken from frozen. I don’t know that the InstantPot makes food taste better than otherwise, but it sure is convenient.

Sunday: Pita, Tzatziki, and Cucumbers. Our neighbor gave use a containter of Tzatizki from the famer’s market. She had lived in Turkey once and said this was pretty authentic stuff. Either way, it was pretty tasty. I made flatbread to go with it – this recipe, with half whole wheat flour. And I used the tortilla press!

Monday: Macaroni and Cheese from Dinner Illustrated. Easy one pot recipe that has chard (we used kale) mixed in. Really creamy and tasty.

Tuesday: Husband called an audible and we got Greek take out.

Wednesday: Braised Cod with Peppers. Sounds fancy, but actually really easy and tasty.

Thursday: Another audible because it was dance night and the meal I had planned was not condusive to making ahead. oops. We got wings from a new place.

Friday: Pizza while watching Fireman Sam and Stinky and Dirty. It was the three year old’s turn to pick the movie (clearly). We watched the original Fireman Sam, a British stop motion animation version that premiered in 1987. There was something very soothing about the muted tone of it – both in the visuals and the energy.

Weekly Recap + what we ate

Last weekend the eight year old had first Communion, and so we all dressed up and went to church for the first time in half a year. There was a limit on how many guests each family could bring – which we maxed out just by bringing the other kids. Each family had their own pew and every other row was empty. Everyone was masked. The eight year old was asked to do the first reading, and she did great!

I’m not the Catholic one in the family, but I’ve always found going to church soothing. The getting dressed up, the communal singing (which is now not allowed), and the contemplation. Our church is on the liberal side of things, and I find the homilies are often meditations on how to be more mindful about your actions and reactions. Though these days the two little kids don’t really sit still, so maybe not so soothing and experience in real life.

Afterwards the eight year old got to chose lunch, and she chose Indian take out. We ordered chaat papari, though I was a little nervous that it was going to be soggy, but surprisingly they bundled the yogurt and tamarind sauce separately. Even more bonus, there was more than enough, so now we have extra tamarind sauce in the fridge. Yum!

Monday was a day off from school, so the Husband took the day as well and we went to Longwood Gardens. In pre COVID times we would often go as a weekend trip; we’d book a hotel with a pool, and maybe also go to the Please Touch Museum. This time we took it as a day trip – leaving around 8:30a and getting home just after 6pm.

It was definitely a good trip. We enjoyed fall colour. I like seeing what vegetables they are growing in their gardens. And consequently annoying the Husband when I ask, “Why can’t we grow those?” We saw a frog in the lily pad garden. The chrysanthemums were prepped for planting. The chrysanthemum show is always breathtaking there. I’m not sure if we will get back this year for it, though. And trees. We spent lots of time among the trees.

One thing I’ve resolved to do this year was to take more pictures with the Husband. One of my mentors from my early stage management days sends these wonderful holiday cards and there are always great pictures of her and husband together, huge smiles on their faces. It makes me so happy and inspired to see them. Last year, I realized that I don’t have many pictures with the Husband, the way Mary does. I’m always so busy taking pictures of the kids, with the kids, or of random lovely things in my life. Or of the area I parked in. But no pictures of me and the Husband who is in a lot of ways the most important relationship. So this year, I’ve been handing the phone to the eight year old more often and asking her to take pictures of her parents. She’s taken some good ones and I love that I have them now. The three year old, on the other hand, is decidedly not quite up for the task:

Anyhow, it was good to get out of the house and be outdoors. Longwood is always beautiful, regardless of the season.

Some random thoughts from this week:

I am a terrible decision maker. I contemplate and ruminate and pro and con and go back and forth. This week, I came across something in Carolyn Hax’s column (second letter here) that really was eye-opening for me. The advice Hax writes is so clear eyed and wise and I really love reading her column and her live chats. She wrote, to a letter writing contemplating two career options: “When careful research shows neither option is clearly superior, that could be the definition of a tough decision — or the opposite. If neither is clearly right, then neither’s clearly wrong.” I have terrible FOBO when it comes to decision making; there is something freeing in this realization that if there is no perfect decision, then there is really no wrong decision either. I’ve been reframing some things lately – rather than saying, “There is no perfect solution here.” I’ve been saying, “There is no wrong solution here.” And it helps me move on a little sooner. I still obsess. But maybe with a little less anxiety and a little more grace.

Election season is ramping up. Last week was certainly one for the history books. We watched the presidential debates, which one commentator called “The worst debates ever”. It was really disheartening. And then the President tested positive for COVID. What a crazy week for the news cycle.

Every Wednesday, after piano lessons, we get breakfast sandwiches from Mr. Jay. The eight year old is in charge of calling in the order. Well two weeks ago when I went to pick up sandwiches, I had mentioned that it was the baby’s first birthday. This week, when I went to pick up the sandwiches, he gave us a present for her. It was so touching.

Loving this single little curl at the nape of the baby’s neck. I want to bottle it and keep it forever!

This week’s drawing class homework was to draw and area of the house over several days, layering one day upon the other. I chose our living room sofa. Each class begins with us all sharing our work, and I loved how this assignment seemed to really encapsulate pandemic living. One of my fellow students did a lovely piece of the front door with the coming and going of Amazon packages.

The assignment was inspired by a project that Joan Linder did where she drew her kitchen sink over a number of weeks. Exploring Linder’s work, I came across this series she did of baby gear, and I found it quite inspiring, the art and lines that she found in these things that are so utilitarian.

What We Ate:

Saturday: I’m not sure we had dinner. I think we were full from the Indian food at lunch. Maybe we had sandwiches?

Sunday: Cilantro Chicken with Tortillas and cabbage slaw. The recipe for the chicken came from our church cookbook, and it was basically cilantro, onions, spices, garlic whizzed together in a blender and poured over chicken. The original called for the chicken to be baked with the sauce, but given that our oven was broken, I stuck it all in the Instant Pot and it was tasty. This was also our first attempt to make corn tortillas with the tortilla press that I had ordered and it was easy and fun and really delicious.

Monday: Wendy’s on the way home from Longwood Gardens. Haven’t had this in a long time, and I have to say, one of the foods I miss most during quarantine is french fries.

Tuesday: Spinach Orzo with Pork Chops. The Husband cooked.

Wednesday: Sweet Potatoe Chicken Curry from Dinner Illustrated. We have an overabundance of sweet potatoes.

Thursday: Ratatouille. To use up some peppers and zucchini.

Friday: Pizza and Bride and Prejudice. Fun take on Jane Austen’s classic.

Weekly Recap + What we ate

We celebrated the baby’s birthday last week. with a chocolate cake. All three children have had chocolate cake on their first birthday – does that make it a family tradition? The cake did not go over terribly well with her. She had gotten her shots earlier in the day, and perhaps that contributed to her great fussiness. She was not having it with the cake and eventually rage smashed it, while refusing to eat any of it. Oh well. More for me.

We also went to the Supreme Court to pay our respects to Justice Ginsburg. I almost didn’t go because the whole prospect of taking the metro down and standing in a crowd seemed perhaps not prudent. But ultimately, I decided that these things could be done safely with masks and hand sanitizer, and that saying goodbye to a lady who spent her whole life championing gender equality was something that I wanted to be part of, and something that I wanted my daughters to be a part of.

Last week was also the second week of my drawing class. We talked about how in drawing you have to learn to draw what you see and not the actual object. So you draw lines and angles and not plants and flowers. Learning how to breakdown drawing into concrete steps has been really helpful; it’s shaping up to be a good brain excercise. The Husband had to go into work a couple days last week, one day being class day. I managed the lunch chaos while “attending” class, with my camera off. Being able to take a class while keeping track of my kids certainly opens up all sorts of possibilities.

The “This is Motherhood” moment of the week: wiping the three year old’s behind with one hand while using the other hand to keep the baby from sticking her hand in the (yet unflushed) toilet. It was kind of akin to cuing on the chorus while keeping track of the tenor.

Two things sighted on our morning walk – one made the three year old happy, one made me happy:

What We Ate:

Saturday: Chicken cooked on the griddle and salad.

Sunday: Thai Chicken Soup – From Dinner Illustrated. I added rice noodles.

Monday: Sausage, Peppers, and Onion sautee. Using up an excess of peppers.

Tuesday: Red Pepper Soup – From Dinner Illustrated. See above about excess of peppers.

Wednesday: Tortellini (w/ Red Sauce or Pesto, Diner’s choice), and Arni’s Jr. Salads. This was the baby’s birthday dinner. The Arni’s Jr. Salads are a staple of the Husband’s childhood and home state. We like to re-create them at home since we can’t get them here.

Thursday: Indian Eggplant Curry (Instant Pot), and Cumin Potatoes from Indian Instant Pot Cookbook.

Friday: Pizza and Lilo and Stitch. I had picked up Lilo and Stich four or five years ago, but we had never made it through because the eight year always got sad and scared and had us turn it off. I particularly remember her saying, “You don’t rip books!”

Weekly Recap + what we ate

Fall seemed to arrive this week. We turned the air conditioner off and opened the windows, letting a breeze blow bracingly through the house. It actually got downright chilly. I’ve put apple picking on my list of things to do in the next few weeks – I think it might make a good Wednesday afternoon activity.

Sleep was rough this week. A combination of staying up too late so I can work on projects without children underfoot, and the baby waking in the middle of the night and having to be nursed back to sleep. I’m hoping it’s molars and that she will be better at sleeping soon. Teething is such a disruptive phase, but then when one thinks about the process of teething – basically these razor sharp objects piercing your gums from the inside to the out – one thinks, how can it be otherwise.

This week, I dropped off a couple of mini fridges at a local charity. The fridges had been in the basement – our “beer fridges” – but we had replaced them with a full sized fridge last month. In these crazy COVID times I had to book a drop off appointment a month ago! I took the three year old with me to drop the fridges and run a few other errands. As we drove through down town, he exclaimed in wonder, “Look at all the places!” It was adorable and heartbreaking.

I signed up to take a drawing class through the local community college, and this week was the first class. Several times a year, the community college continuing ed catalogue lands in our mail slot, and I flip through it, thinking it might be nice to learn something new. Taking classes, particularly evening classes is not really compatible with a show schedule, so it’s always been kind of a wistful thought. This year, with encouragement from the Husband, I decided to take advantage of the convenience of classes being taught through Zoom and my unemployed status, and signed up for a class.

There were a couple of different classes I contemplated signing up for – some more practical than drawing. Appliance repair, for example. Computer programming – probably beyond me, but could provide a good career pivot if needed. I chose drawing. I had thought about taking watercolor class, but then decided I wanted to start with something fundamental.

So I ordered art supplies and pads of paper larger than any art I can conceive of, and on Wednesday afternoon, I logged into class, along with twelve other students. The class is mostly made up of retirees (including two former middle school teachers), with a couple of thirty-something computer programmers as well. There is one elderly couple taking the class together. They have not figured out how to mute, and listening to their old married couple banter was one of the most delightful parts of the first class. Being back in a formal learning environment was definitely odd. There was a certain receptiveness that my brain took on that did feel like dusting the cobwebs off something that had been tucked away for too long. We even had assigned reading and homework.

Speaking of appliance repair, the dryer at my parent’s rental house stopped working so I spent a morning waiting for the service tech. Watching him take the dryer apart, diagnose, and remedy the issue was kind of fascinating. Maybe I will take that appliance repair class after all. It would certainly pay for itself over the years.

All it took was a screw gun! I can do that!

The Husband took Wednesday afternoon off, and after my drawing class we took a trip to the Agricultural Farm Park. I had brought the kids here earlier in the summer, and it was great to see it again in a different season. The dahlia garden was still going strong, but a lot of other things were starting to be put away for the season. We saw only a handful of people there while we were there; instead of people we saw large stretches of blue skies and corn.

What we ate:

Saturday: Black bean and red pepper quesadillas. I also had some shishito peppers from our produce box that I threw on the griddle and blackened to eat alongside.

Sunday: Thai Basil Chicken Lettuce Wraps. From America’s Test Kitchen. It was a little too spicy and the kids ended up having peanut butter toast for dinner.

Monday: Stir fry – tofu, bean, eggplant, red pepper. A clean out the produce drawer meal.

Tuesday: Black lentil dal and Paneer Biryani (from Indian InstantPot). I’ve made paneer a couple of times, but it always had turne out crumbly. I finally bought a paneer/tofu press. It is not great for tofu pressing, but my paneer turned out great this time.

Wednesday: Called an audible when we drove by a favorite sandwich place on the way home from the Agricultural Farm Park. Sandwiches and onion rings.

Thursday: Mushroom Leek Crostata from Dinner Illustrated. Though the Husband and 8 year old grabbed Five Guys on the way home from dance class. I have a great weakness for french fries,, and they brought me some. It wasn’t as good as when you each them fresh and salty and hot, but it was still pretty tasty.

Friday: Pizza and wings while watching Star Wars: The Last Jedi (8 year old’s turn to pick). Carrie Fisher – such an elegant lady. I think she was my favorite part of the movie.

Weekly Recap + What We Ate

We celebrated Labor Day by grilling burgers and had a long video chat with my brother’s family. They are in California and the air quality made it unwise to go outside, so we “hung out” for most of the afternoon. The kids are getting better at interactive video chatting, I think.

The rest of the week was quite rainy. One day we got five inches of rain in an afternoon, and the kids spent “recess” outside in the rain. I wish we could send some of our rain to California and Oregon.

We are into week two of distance learning. The eight year old seems to be very much into music, art, and PE. Friday, the carbon monoxide detector went off in our house, and I hustled the kids outside. This was in the middle of class, but luckily, you can get wireless signal on our back patio. Turns out it was just a battery issue with the alarm, but it wasn’t terrible to have class outside. The mosquitoes made it not a practical long term set up, but I can absolutely see us doing this again. A mom in my mom’s group gave me a tip to spray down an old shirt with repellent and just have that near by rather than spraying down the kid. That, and running a box fan seemed to minimize the mosquito bites, but they are still a lot of them. I think more than the weather, it’s the mosquitoes that keep me inside some days. I am intrigued by the idea of a bat box to help alleviate the mosquito problem in our back yard.

This is what learning looked like this week. Mosquito repellent soaked t-shirt on her lap, and box fan going to keep the bugs away.

We’ve signed the 8 year old up for dance and basketball classes. Being home by herself has hit her harder than I had thought, so I took a look and decided that there were a few activities that I felt okay with enrolling her in.

On that note, I’ve been sewing masks so that she has enough for her activities. I’ve been trying out a couple different patterns to see which ones fit best.

This week I finished repairing and re-installing the screens for the sunroom of my parents’ house as they have renters coming in soon. Replacing screens is one of those things I would have never thought to do myself, but the Husband looked it up on YouTube and said to me, “You could totally do this!” And it did turn out to be pretty easy. Basically the screen is held in to the window frame by a piece of rubber tubing (called spline) wedged into a groove. So all one does is remove the spline and pull the old screen out, then lay down new screen and use a special tool to put new spline in. Definitely worth doing myself.

In and around these activities, I’ve been doing some art with the three year old, taking walks when we can. The baby hasn’t been sleeping super well lately. A couple nights she was attached to me pretty much all night. Maybe it’s molars?

Some delightful food things:

There is a great garden haul of basil (see above). I blitzed up a heap of pesto – made with sunflower seeds since we don’t have pine nuts. Also some of the basil is going into America Test Kitchen’s Thai Chicken Basil this week.

My pandemic snack addiction is Welch’s fruit snacks. Each pack is a unknown combination of flavors and the anticipation of ripping open a pack to see what it contains is one of the small joys in my life. Then the careful contemplation of what order to eat them in – I like to eat from least favorite to most favorite – raspberry, strawberry, orange, peach, grape. Then there is a calculus I do in my head if there are more grape then orange or peach, maybe I will eat the grape until the numbers even out first…. It is a process. This week, I got a perfect pack:

Random picture of the kids’ lunch one day. So I’ll remember what they ate. The 8 year old made her own sandwich, while the 3 year old and the baby got mostly snack food and leftovers. The cucumbers are cream cheese with furikake, a Japanese rice seasoning which the 3 year old loves – I do too. I like the nori, sesame, bonito combinations the best.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Steak Salad – Husband cooked and this was tasty.

Sunday: BBQ Bean Tacos with Pineapple Salsa. Made some coleslaw on the side (Cabbage, lime juice, a touch of mayo). Coleslaw seems to be the unexpected hit of the summer.

Monday: Grilled Burgers and Eggplant

Tuesday: Drunken Noodles (from Dinner Illustrated)

Wednesday: Pasta with Zucchini, Tomatos and Broccoli. Basically an eat down the veggie drawer meal.

Thursday: Sausage Kale Soup. This was Irish Dance night for the eight year old, so I needed something I could make ahead of time.

Friday: Pizza and Movie. It was the three year old’s turn to pick. He chose Fireman Sam and then Nature Movies. It was a little stomach turning to watch animals being eaten alive onscreen while having dinner, but I guess we remind ourselves that it’s how life works.

Weekly Recap + What we ate

One week of distance learning in the books! I have to say, it wasn’t as difficult as I had feared. This fall is has had a much more structured and supported learning environment than what everyone (students, parents, teachers, administrators) were thrown into last spring. I felt last spring that there was a lot of independent learning expected from the students. Our school district still has implemented a very long day of distance learning (9am – 3:15pm), but the day is built so that the kids are usually never on Zoom for more than an hour at a time. The one exception is when morning meeting runs into math period – so a 1h 20 m session. But it’s the first period of the day, so not horrible. There is an hour and a half for lunch and two 10-15 minute breaks – one in the morning and one in the afternoon. It seems to be much closer to what I had when I was growing up, where there was lots of outdoor play time.

Wednesday afternoons are designated “independent study.” I’d love to spend a few hours either going on an outing or tackling something the eight year old is independently interested in learning.

I do feel like in person learning is probably more effective for the 8 year old, but at least I am able to be home and support her. I know that this is a luxury that not all families have, so I’m trying to see this as a side benefit of this period of unemployment. All in all, however, the week of schooling went quite smoothly. There were a couple of incidents of accidentally logging out of the Zoom waiting room before class, but hopefully we are turning it into a learning experience on how to tell time.

(Speaking of which – are kids still expected to be able to read analog clocks and watches? I feel like all the clocks on our walls are analog, so this is indeed a good thing to teach the kids. Also is a good lesson in how to count by fives.)

This week was a bit of disaster for the younger two kids’ routines because I was trying to make sure the eight year old got where she needed to be virtually. School started right around the baby’s nap time, making a bit of a mess out of that. I’ve never been one of those people who are slaves to a baby’s nap times, but I do think the day goes more smoothly when the baby has regular naps. I’m hopeful, that having the eight year old on a schedule will be helpful in giving the rest of us a rhythm to the day eventually, though. I can try to fit naps, nursing sessions, and structured activity time for the baby and the three year old around the eight year old’s class, and we can all have recess together. New school year, new patterns for everyone, I guess. It is an ever evolving thing.

Other highlights this week: The baby has figured out how to drink from a straw. At least she figured out how to suck the water up. She still is working on swallowing the water that she fills her mouth with. Half the time she sucks up a great big mouthful and then lets it just dribble out the sides of her mouth.

She has also figured out how to climb up on low chairs. She’ll climb up on them and stand, holding on to the chair back as if at a lectern, her face glowing with pride and accomplishment. It is cute but so scary.

We didn’t get out for as many long walks as we used to, but on Thursday there was a giant downpour and both kids took great laughing delight in running in the rain. It’s funny how these kids don’t like to bathe, but love running outside as the heavens open and unleash sheets and sheets of water.

Two food highlights this week:

The Husband brought home a watermelon from the grocery store. I love watermelon but it does take a while to finish. Now that we have a new full size fridge in the basement, there is not as much urgency to eat it all in one day, which is nice. I’ve been enjoying watermelon, feta salad – something my friend Lizzie introduced me to. Watermelon, feta, a sprinkle of basil. That’s it, simple and tasty.

Leftover rice and salmon, with avocado, umboshi paste and cucumber.

Also – for lunch I’ve been making sushi rolls with leftovers. It’s not true sushi rice, so things fall apart a little bit, but it’s still a tasty way to eat things up. A couple years ago, I picked up a packet of umeboshi puree from a fancy grocery store just outside of Philadelphia. It’s one of my favorite ingredients in sushi; there used to be a Japanese restaurant that had a Ume Shiso roll – just ume paste, and a shiso leaf wrapped in rice. It was the most delicate, delicious thing you ever tasted. I don’t actually know of too many other ways to eat umeboshi puree, so it’s been sitting in our fridge for a while. Surprisingly, though, it is still good, and really made these rolls special.

This Week’s Menu:

Saturday: We had Indian take out from the local Indian restaurant.

Sunday: Lasagna. This was the lasagna the 8 year and I were supposed to make last week, but had to postpone. It was her idea and she helped me make the sauce, mix the ricotta and layer the lasagna.

Monday: Pork and Green Bean Stir Fry. From Dinner Illustrated.

Tuesday: Cauliflower Tacos with Mango Cabbage Slaw. From Dinner Illustrated.

Wednesday: Green Curry with tofu and veggies. I used this new curry paste from HMart and it was definitely spicier than the Thai Kitchen brand that I usually get.

Thursday: The Husband made dinner. Breakfast sandwiches with bacon.

Friday: Pizza and Bend it Like Beckham. The eight year old has been listening to the Aru Shah series and it put me in the mood for this movie, though I hadn’t seen it in a while. It mostly holds up in its story of being stuck between two cultures, as a child and as a parent. The soccer bits and the wedding scene are pretty fun too. (“That’s not football!” the kids said.) I’d forgotten how cringe-y the romantic subplots were, though. I think there are a lot of romance storylines that are not aging well in the wake of the MeToo movement. The realization that power imbalances are not really healthy foundations for romantic relationships certainly has me seeing these plotlines with a new awareness. I don’t think those kind of relationships are necessarily something that is impossible to have now, I just think it needs to be navigated in a more conscious way.