birthday – Life Off Headset

Weekly recap + what we ate: Where I went

First off – I hope people who were in Hurricane Helene’s path are doing okay. My friend’s parents are in North Carolina and luckily they are fine, but there are so many around them who are facing enormous challenges. The devastation is huge and heartbreaking.

We did not do any decluttering last week (though now two weeks ago – you know when you write a post and it kind of sits in your folder because you don’t have time to finish it? Yeah… that was the past couple of days. Which means there will probably be another weekly recap post less than a week after this one) Anyhow, decluttering took a backseat because my parents came into town and I had to work most of Sunday. But for the upcoming week, things on my list:

-List toys on freecycle that we are going to get rid of.
-Take car seats to Wider Circle [note – this is done!]
-Find seam ripper and deal with purple Fort cushions
-Sit in the toy room and imagine what it would take to make it functional
-Maybe tackle the mess under the console table in my bedroom.

We did clean out a large chunk of the fridge- the jars of random condiments, dressings, pickles, kimchi…. It was a little concerning some of the things I found. It seems as if somethings never go bad- I’m looking at you, cranberry relish from Thanksgiving. Though I feel like there was some fermentation happening. Also I have a lot of jars of sourdough starter. Maybe I need to see if there is still life there. I think I need to also do a freezer clean out soon too and eat it down a little.

While I contemplate those things, I thought I’d write another account of where I went this past week. I did this once last Spring, when I was prepping for a show. It’s an interesting journaling technique I read about, which is exactly what it sounds like – recording where I went – and I thought it would be interesting to see what I’m doing now in one of my slower work periods- I’m on a 20 hour per week contract right now.

Monday
8:55am home –> School bus drop off (4 mins)
9:15am school bus drop –> friends’ house. Their kids were sick and I went over to hang out for a little bit with their kids since my friends had to be at work. (5 mins)
2:00pm friends’ house –> trail for a run (3 min drive + 25 min run)
2:30apm trail –> Library to drop off books (10 mins)
3:00pm library –> home (10 mins)
4:00pm home –> pick up 4 year old from daycare –> home again (10 minute walk x 2)
6:45pm home –>12 year old’s basketball clinic the –> home. The gym is walking distance, so I like to have her walk when possible. When she is reluctant, I offer the inducement of going with her and listening to our audiobook together. Right now we’re listening to Permanent Record by Mary H. K. Choi. (15 mins x2)

Tuesday
8:55am home –> school bus drop off (4 mins)
9:3oam school bus drop off –> Target (pick up deodorant and shaving cream) (10 mins)
10:15am Target –> Library –> home (yes! Twice in one week! I had an exciting hold come in, see below) (5 mins/ 15 mins)
11:30am home –> work (15 mins)
7:30pm work –> home (15 mins)

Wednesday
7:05am home —> piano lessons (7 mins)
7:15am piano lessons —> gas station —> bagels shop —> back to piano lessons (25 mins)
7:45am piano lessons —> middle school —> piano lessons (20 mins)
8:20am piano lessons —> home (7 mins)
9:00am home —> bus stop (4 mins)
9:30 am bus stop –> trail –> run/walk (3 mins drive/ 25 min run/ 20 min walk)
10:30am trail –> Hmart to pick up groceries for dinner (10 mins)
11:30am Hmart –> home (10 mins)
12:30pm home –> work (15 mins)
3:00pm work –> pick up 4 year old –> gymnastics class (30 mins)
4:30pm gymnastics –> home (10 mins)
5:30pm home –> work (15 mins)
10:30pm work –> home (15 mins)
THAT WAS A LONG DAY!

Thursday
9:00am home —> school bus stop (4 mins)
9:20am school bus stop -> home (4 mins)
11:30am Home —> work (bike, 25 mins)
3:30pm Work —> home (bike 30 mins)
6:50pm Home—> friend’s house to drop off the two little kids so we can go to —> back to school night at 7 year old’s school (20 mins)
8:30pm school —> friend to pick up littles —> home (20 mins)

Friday
9:00 am home —> school bus (4 mins)
9:20 am school bus —> work (15 mins)
3:50pm work —> 7 year old’s school – he missed his afternoon bus home (10 mins)
4:10 pm school —> home (10 mins)
5:45pm home —> grocery store, to pick up supplies to make a cake (meanwhile, the Husband and the 7 year old went to sewing class) (10 mins)
6:30pm grocery store —> home for the night. (10 mins)

Saturday
10:30a: home —> 7 year olds’s soccer game (15 mins)
12:15pm Soccer game —> home (15 mins)
5:30pm Home —> airport to pick up my parents, or rather cell phone lot. (40 mins)
6:15pm Cell phone lot —> arrivals —> silver diner for dinner (20 mins)
8:15pm Silver Diner —> home (30 mins)

Sunday –
8:55pm Home —> agility class for four year old (15 mins)
10:00am Agility class —> home (15 mins)
11:00a home —> work (15 mins)
11:15am- work —> farmer’s market nearby (5 minute walk)
11:45 am farmer’s market —> work (5 min walk)
3:00pm- work —> coffee run —> back to work (25 min walk)
6:00pm work —> home (20 min drive)

Thoughts from this week’s account of going places: Not a lot of driving this week for myself – just mostly to the bus stop and to work. I’m glad I live near our rehearsal studios and that my commute is usually 15-20 minutes. Proximity is also key for kids’ activities – no activity is more than 15/20 minutes away. My friend’s kid got placed on a soccer team that practices 30 minutes away on a weekday afternoon- getting on the beltway at rush hour would get tiresome really fast.
-That’s 3.5 hours in the car this week. Not bad. that’s 2% of my week. The less time I have to spend in my car, the better.
-I’m glad I got to get on my bike and did some walking.
-For a week on a reduced work schedule I went into work 4 out of 7 days, which feels like a lot. I’m still trying to figure out if I need to find a better rhythm when I have 20 hour weeks – like do I need to work from home more? Do I need to be more efficient with my hours? But each week is unique – different meetings and things to cover, so it’s hard to have a set consistent schedule. (Which reminds me, I need to remove my Out of Office message from this summer…)
-I find having to run errands irksome – Target, grocery store, etc. But I also don’t love constantly ordering from Amazon. Why do we always need stuff?
-We live pretty close to three airports, but I always prefer picking up people at BWI because it’s the simplest to get to. DCA is close to the city so the traffic patterns can be funky, and Dulles has waaaaaay too much traffic to get there. On paper it looks 30 minutes away, but in reality it can take up to an hour. I like picking people up/ dropping them off at the airport whenever we can – I love seeing them on the curb waiting, I love that first happy wave and hug, I love the sense of arrival. Though I’m always reminded of the scene in When Harry Met Sally… where Harry says he never takes people to the airport at the beginning of a relationship because he never wants to get to the stage where they say, “How come you never take me to the airport anymore?” Even in this age of Uber, Lyft, and public transportation, that sentiment still feels applicable today.

Creative project of the week: I baked a cake! I had to work on the youngest kids’ birthday, so we celebrated the night before. She wanted a unicorn cake. The Husband works next to a store that sells cake and cookie decorating supplies, so he popped over there to see if they had unicorn figurines or sprinkles or anything that we could put on a cake. The people who run the shop are very creative and helpful and love to give advice. From the store, the Husband texted me these pictures:

I’ve never done a shaped cake before, so I was a little skeptical, but I decided to give it a go anyway. The 4 (now 5!) year old helped to make the cake, and even though we lost a small chunk of cake as it came out of the pan, I just stuck the chunk back on and frosted away. I was going to pipe the decorations, but by the time I started it was late so I instead really leaned into using the sprinkles:

Interesting podcast episode that I listened to: This episode of House Calls where Surgeon General Vivek Murthy interviews Adam Grant, and organizational psychologist who specializes in work place culture. I listened to this book while mowing the lawn. There was one part that was a little off-putting where Grant talks about finding ways to admit mistakes and be vulnerable at work, and in a lot of ways, I think this is a luxury men are afforded more than women. Why can men admit mistakes and it comes across as being strong but when women do it, it’s perceived as flaky? Is it a tone thing? or an attitude thing? Or my own preconceptions? Not sure on that one…

But aside from that I thought it was was great episode. Grant talks about defining success as process and values based rather than product or achievement based – I thought that was a great point. And about half way through the episode, a really interesting conversation about parenting evolved. Grant talks a lot about getting your children’s buy in. I really liked his suggestion of asking your kids for advice as a way to make them feel important. I’ve started doing this sometimes and I’m surprised by how direct their solutions can be. Usually they say something like, “Do something else.” Inspired by that episode, though, I talked to the Husband and I think we want to implement weekly family meetings. A time for everyone to look at the week ahead and know where everyone is going and see if anyone has any larger family topics to bring up.

When my aunt was visiting a few weeks ago, she made the comment about how nice it was that everyone has a chance to speak at our dinner table. She was referencing how we go around at most dinners and everyone says their Rose, Buds, and Thorns. (ie something good, something they’re looking forward to, and something hard.) My aunt said when her kids were little, they weren’t allowed to speak at the dinner table – they lived with her in laws and dinner was a time for the matriarch of the family to pontificate on what a good family they are and tell the kids how important it was for them to do well in school and activities. So I guess the idea of my kids all getting a turn to speak was novel to my aunt. Dinner is certainly a loud and unchecked affair at our house. There is talking and shouting and getting up and sitting in laps (still)… I don’t know… I kind of love it, this communal chaos. I mean maybe not 100% of the time – sometimes I do just want them to sit down and eat dinner – that’s when we have silent eating time – but I miss out on so many dinners because of my work schedule that I feel like when I can be home for dinner, I want it to feel like a time where we can share and bond. With everyone’s different activities and stresses, I think we will only feel more fractured as a family as the kids get older, so I want to put in structures and routines now – dinner rituals, family meetings, pizza and movie nights – that can feel grounding.

Grateful For
– My parents coming to visit. They are so good about entertaining the kids.

-School adjacent activities. The 12 year old joined the cross country team and the 7 year old is taking programming classes after school. I love that they get to fit in extracurriculars that they can go to straight after school, and I don’t have to drive them. I feel lucky that we live somewhere where they have these opportunities.

– All of you who validated my high school feelings about the preschool WhatsApp group last week. I’m glad I have a place to vent these stressors. So it turns out that the invite to the party went to the whole Whatsapp group the week before I joined, so I guess if I had joined the group earlier, my child would have been invited to the party. So it wasn’t purposefully excluding my kids. I think I’m still trying to figure out if there is anything of value in staying in the group. I do believe in parenting as a community and that we can all support each other, but is being in this group the way to do it?

Looking forward to:
-A new month! It’s October! I feel like after Hallowe’en begins the slow slide towards the end of the year, so October is my one month to enjoy fall. It’s also a really buys time work-wise. I’ve seen some trees with leaves tipped in red and gold already, and on the one hand I feel like it’s too soon, but on the other hand I can’t wait to see all the beautiful fall colour.

-The (now) 5 year old’s birthday party. By the time we got around to booking a place, the only time slots were two weeks after her birthday. Oh well. I’m hoping to keep it super simple – pizza, cake, snacks, fruit, applesauce pouches, juice, and water. Maybe something for the grown ups to snack on too? The party is from 3p-5pm, so hearty snacks are definitely in order. The venue doesn’t allow balloons, so I’m taking this as an opportunity to eschew decor.

-Reading this book, the sequel to The House in The Cerulean Sea.

I loved The House in The Cerulean Sea so much. Some might accuse it of being a slight bit twee, but it was one of my favorite reads the year that it came out. I got a notification from the library that my hold for this book, its sequel, had come in. I had put a hold on this book the moment I could, even before it was released, but even still, I was surprised that my copy had come in so quickly. I went to the library to pick it up, only to discover that I had accidentally put the audiobook on hold, not the paper book. There was a case of CDs waiting for me on my holds shelf. Oh no. I knew the waitlist for this book would be on the longer side, so I sighed sadly and took the book back to the check out desk and asked if they could take the CDs back and put me on the holds list for the book. The librarian looked up the book.
“You know,” he said, pointing behind me, “This book might be over there on the Lucky Day shelf.” The Lucky Day shelf is for books that you can borrow for just three weeks, with no renewal period.
I walked over, and yes, indeed! There was a brand new shiny copy of the book. I might have squealed with delight as I went to check it out. Next to me at the self check out, a man looked at me knowingly and said, “Isn’t it the best feeling when the exact book you want is on the shelf?”
Yes, yes, it is.

What we ate:
Monday: Olive Garden Vegan Gnocchi Soup. This is one of my favorite soups to make – it’s super easy and vegan! Made ahead since I wasn’t home that night.

Tuesday: Fried fish and green beans. The Husband cooked.

Wednesday: Quinoa Black Bean and Mango Salad from America’s Test Kitchen’s Vegan for Everyone. I should get this cookbook out from the library again – it has lots of easy vegan recipes. I made this ahead of time since again, I had to work that night.

Thursday: Baked chicken breasts and steamed green beans. The 12 year old had wanted to make dinner (Cornflake chicken), but she ended up being sick, so I threw this meal together.

Friday: Pizza (ordered from a new to us place that does Detroit style pizza. It was tasty, but apparently getting there is tricky because it involved going into a residential complex.) and movie (Hotel Transylvania. Not one that I need to watch again.)

Saturday: Silver Diner on the way home from the airport. I got the liver and onions.

Sunday: We celebrated the 4–> 5 year old’s birthday early because I had to work on her actual birthday. She got to pick the dinner and she chose Dino chicken nuggets, green beans, and tater tots. And of course the cake.

She did take the Elsa dress off before we had cake. She’s really sensible like that.

(Tri) Weekly recap + what we ate: FOUR!!!!

We are deep into October! Even though the weather has been in the so very up and down here, it does feel as if we are firmly into fall. The trees have started to take on crimson and gold tips and tinges, I wake up in pre-dawn darkness, and we dine as the sun is slipping away. One of the true indications of fall for me is when the morning sunlight slants sharply into the kitchen through the window over the sink so that washing dishes in the morning is a blinding exercise. Sometimes I do dishes leaning to one side so I can avoid the sun’s rays piercing my eyeballs. Sometimes I just decide that the dishes can wait until the sun move on. Then I tell myself- just wait a few weeks and this timing of sunlight will pass. Like many things things in life…

In the mean time I will enjoy pumpkins…

The gourd situation at my favorite market

Leaves…

and making applesauce:

I mentioned last post that we were having a birthday party for the youngest and all my anxiety about last minute planning and lack of party guests. Well, the lack of RSVPs actually turned out for the best because it was raining all weekend, banishing the possibility of having any part of the festivities outside. And given that the party was at our house – well, it seems like 11 kids and 10 adults made for a plenty big enough party inside our house. House size is certainly relative – our current house is definitely bigger than our first house, yet is not as big as houses you would find in our area- but all the same, I wouldn’t objectively call our house small, yet I can’t imagine having any more people inside than we had for this birthday party.

We basically set up three areas for everyone: the living/dining room for food and cookie decorating; the toy room for, well, toys and playing and we have a Swedish climbing ladder there that was very popular; and the basement where we cleared everything breakable and set up music for a dance party. I will say the toy room was at max capacity what with everyone wanting to play with the toys and try out the climbing ladder, and parents in there to make sure no one fell off the climbing wall. Or at least no one got seriously hurt falling off the climbing wall. If we had to do this again, I might clear more toys out of the toy room to give more space – that whole room was a disaster zone. It still is. Also maybe make parents sign waivers if their kids are going to try the climbing ladder. Kidding. But maybe I shouldn’t be.

The cookie decorating, which was the main activity went rather well, I think. People seemed to really like it. I had gotten the idea from seeing a local sweet shop offer the same thing, but there the kids would also bake the cookies. I figured a bunch of four year olds would not have the patience to roll out and bake and decorate cookies, so we just went with the decorating bit.

We put two kid sized tables in the living room, covered them with paper and set out bowls of icing and jars of sprinkles. We gave each kid a piece of parchment paper on which to decorate their cookies, in an attempt to try to contain the mess.

Things that I think made the cookie decorating go well:

– We ordered the cookies rather than trying to bake them myself. We called our local bakery and ordered 48 unfrosted cookies. They make the best cookies and I didn’t have to bake any. And the cookies came in a variety of shapes, which was fun.

– We made all the frosting using a royal icing mix. I was just going to go get a few tubs of Duncan Hines frosting, but the Husband went to a cake decorating store by his office and they showed him royal icing mix- you just mix it with water and voila! This was waaaaaay better than Duncan Hines- it was spreadable but stiff enough not to be too messy. I mixed it with gel food colouring so we had three different colours plus white. Another great thing about royal icing is that it hardens as it dries, which gives the cookies that professional cookie sheen. I have an extra bag of royal icing mix and I’m excited to use it for Christmas.

– We used old spice jars for the sprinkles. This was the Husband’s brilliant idea. The Husband had bought six different kinds of sprinkles from the cake decorating store. I was going to put the sprinkles in a small bowl. The Husband had the idea to wash out the old spice containers that we had been keeping for a rainy day and put the sprinkles in those so the kids could just shake them out. It was still messy, but so much less messy than bowls.

-For spreading the icing, we bought 4” offset spatulas from a restaurant supply store. The small size was good for little hands and much easier to use than plastic knives. Plus I had the kids take them home as their party favor.

One thing I wasn’t prepared for was that the kids would want to eat their cookies right away. We had bought cute boxes for everyone to take their cookies home, but I think only used half of them. Kids were very eager to try their colorful efforts as soon as they were done. At the end of the party, one kid asked me, “Are there goody bags?” and I thought, “Well… you were supposed to take your cookies home…” We did also get mini rolling pins to go in the boxes, which were super cute and I had a parent tell me a couple days later that they are great for playing with kinetic sand.

Birthday cookies. Not sure what’s with the random hands.

My other favorite thing from the party is that we ordered soft pretzels. I was driving down the major street by us when I saw a yard signs advertising The DC Pretzel Company. I love soft pretzels, so of course I had to look them up. Turns out a guy, originally from Philadelphia, started a weekend business making soft pretzels. During the week, he works for the federal government, and then on the weekend, he makes pretzels out of one of those shared industrial kitchens. And the service was great! I had all sorts of questions on how many to order, and my email was answered promptly (with a 10% off coupon!) and then when I had to add additional pretzels to my original order, the owner texted me to reassure me that the two orders would be combined. And the pretzels were sooooo tasty! Chewy, malty, and flavorful. And vegan. And since we ordered too many, we were lucky to eat them for days – we reheated them in the oven and they were just as chewy and tasty. 10/10!!! I would definitely order again. (Thank you for coming to my Yelp review.)

The morning of the four year old’s birthday, the Husband said, “It’s going to be so weird- we won’t have a baby in the house anymore. After twelve years!” And it’s true- there’s something bittersweet for me about no longer being in the baby phase. I loved having babies – the soft cheeks and unformed blob of sweetness. Now it feels like my kids are all muscles and limbs. And opinions and thoughts. I know time only moves forward, and watching kids grow from helpless bundles into real people really makes that thought hit home, showing me every day that there is no going backwards.

Other things and happenings – I was listening to the podcast The Fix, which talks about work, more specifically advancing equality in the workplace. I find the hosts and her guests very insightful on issues that I do think about a lot especially since I work in an industry that is historically (and let’s be honest continues to be) not terribly diverse. The episode I was listening to talked about the importance of building self-awareness at work – and one exercise is for ten days to take 15 minutes a day and write down: What went well today, What didn’t go so great, what could I do differently? I’ve been trying to do this reflection on a work and personal level lately and I think it’s been a good frame for thinking back.

Going well – Chore spinner! It used to be that the kids each had their specific chores to do after dinner. Then it came up that the kids were always wanting to do someone else’s chore, and it wasn’t fair that all one kid got to do was take the napkins down to laundry, or it wasn’t fair that so and so got to use the broom. So a couple weeks ago, we instituted a chore spinner. There are six evening chores and each kid spins to find out which two chores they will be responsible for. The chores are:
-dining room (wipe down table and sweep floor)
-dry dishes and help put them away
-pick up the living room and the foyer
-take the napkins and dirty towels down to the laundry room
-pick up the bedroom and make the beds
-wipe down the bathroom counter after teeth brushing.
Clearly some chores are faster than others, but the beauty of the new system is that one person doesn’t have the easy task all the time – it’s totally up to chance who will get the much coveted bathroom counter wipe down. (Also – side note, the kids at some point also started wiping down the toilet in addition to the bathroom counter. Not sure how I feel about this – on the one hand, it’s the toilet can be a little gross, but on the other hand, they are using Clorox wipes, so it’s should be pretty sanitary. Also – I find it fascinating that they don’t really know yet that wiping down the toilet is considered gross to some people. ) WE do help the little kids with the dining room and the living room if they draw that because those are bigger tasks and they kind of still suck at sweeping. All in all, though, it has made the kids less grumbly about chores. Who know how long the novelty of the chore spinner will work as a means to more cleaning/less whining evenings, but I’ll take whatever I can get on the kids and chores front these days.

Another thing that went well recently: Biking to work. I got to bike to work this week. At some point last spring I did something to one my bike inner tubes and then the bike languished in the shed for many months. The Husband actually fixed it a while ago but I just hadn’t found time to get the bike out. But this week, I pulled it out and biked to work on a day when I didn’t have to do the school bus run. I was reminded about how much I love riding to work. I did have to walk the bike up the last hill before work because I misjudged my shifting and didn’t shift in time to make the climb easier, but all in all, it was a nice ride.

Things not really going well right now: I’m adjusting to being back at work. The work part is fine, the home part has been a bit of a mess. I’ve been very bad at predicting when I’ll get home, which, understandably, causes much consternation. I think I’ll be home by 6:30p, and I don’t get home until 8:30pm and it makes bedtime tricky. This issue for me is two fold:
1) getting sucked into lengthy last minute conversations and tasks at work. I’ve gotten pretty good at finishing all the tangible tasks on my own to do list in a timely manner, but I’m discovering that having more responsibility means more people want your attention on things. Which is great and all, and I want to have thoughtful and thorough conversations, but sometimes I need to figure out how to put a pin in something and get out the door. Or to have more succinct conversations?
2) not communicating with the Husband when I’m coming home when these last minute things pop up. Rehearsal is done at 5:30pm, so I tell him I can be home by 6:30pm, but then one thing and another and suddenly it’s 6:15 and I’m still typing the rehearsal notes and then someone asks my input on something and I get sucked back into work things and then when I next look up, it’s 7:00pm. I know the answer is to text at 6:15pm saying “I’ll be home at 7pm”, but I’m always optimistic at 6:15pm that I’m about to hit send and walk out the door and I’ll only be ten minutes late home, so is that really worth a text or should I just plow right on so I can leave? That’s the internal monologue. And the answer should be, “yes, just send that text.”
Anyhow, I’m working on it. I think from the work perspective I have good work-life balance, but from the life perspective, work is winning out a little right now. hmmmm…. maybe I should unpack that a little.

What can I do differently: (I like the framing of do “differently” vs. do “better”. because if the expectation is that changes *must* improve things, it feels so daunting. But if the idea is just to change the way something is done, then it makes the process of change much more forgiving.) I think I need an automated system or reminder to help me track time after rehearsal is over so I continue to be efficient and conscious of time. Maybe an alarm at 6:25 to remember that the intern needs to wrap up and I should send a status report to the Husband?

Podcast recommendation: On Being is back! I love this podcast for the meandering and thoughtful conversations. The first episode of the new season is a hilarious, wise, and touching conversation with theologian Kate Bowler who learned that she had cancer when she was 35 and wrote a book (or perhaps a couple) about it. As expected the conversation dissects on the idea of mortality and how lucky we are to be alive – “Ageing is an effing privilege,” she says at one point. And I loved the idea Bowler brings up about our 2pm/2am self – that the former is where we have it all together and the latter is the vulnerable, darker self who feels alone. This idea that there will be moments of every day where you feel like a completely different person, where your ability to deal with life completely evaporates. And that is okay. Because you are still you. It’s a little hard to describe why I loved this episode so much, but it was a perfect contemplative listen for a long walk. And Kate Bowler is so very, very funny too. I laughed out loud many times.

Other updates on my litany of complaints:
– I’ve booked dentist appointments with a pediatric dentist for the two littles, so hopefully that will get the ball rolling on taking care of their cavities.
– The Husband and I went to test drive a mini van. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that there will be a minivan in our family. It won’t be my main vehicle, but it will likely replace my 20 year old car. I will move over to driving the Husband’s current car and he will drive the mini van.
-still no progress on window treatments in the living room…

Grateful For:

-The now four year old for being such a bright spot in my life. She is such a happy ball of energy. Never one to shy from a challenge, she climbs playgrounds and cabinets fearlessly. She is independent and capable, yet quite agreeable. When she falls, she bounces right back up with a cheerful, “I’m okay!” She is always telling us, “I got this!” She is the child most likely to mischievously cause mayhem and mess, but also the child most likely to clean that mess up. I hope she carries that sense of adventure and responsibility into the rest of her life.

– Being able to shower with the kids at home. It hasn’t always been the case, but as I got in the shower one morning, I thought, “Wow, it’s nice to be able to disappear for fifteen or twenty minutes and not worry about someone hurting themselves or doing something irrevocable to the house.

– Kimchi. There have been many a time when I get home late at night and I’m hungry and I look in the fridge and pull out the bag of kimchi and whatever else might be in there. And the kimchi makes the whatever else taste amazing. I’m grateful for kimchi for being a pretty healthy thing to eat at 10:30pm at night and for being delicious.

Looking Forward to:

-My show. Last week, I started rehearsal for my next opera. It’s been lovely so far. Certainly there have been things to navigate, but overall it’s been a good process and I do actually look forward to going to rehearsals everyday.

– Instant Pot meals. Opera season means I’m gone many many evenings, so when I can, I like to make dinner in the morning for the family to eat when they get home in the afternoon. I borrowed several Instant Pot cookbooks from the library and am excited to explore them.

-This book:

I’ve been in kind of a reading slump lately – In September I started many many books but they all had to be returned before I could finish them. I’m not sure if it’s a time thing or a motivation thing. I started reading this book this week and I can’t wait to find time every day to read it. It’s about three women who, after years of living with the casual misogyny of everyday life, discover in middle age how powerful they really are. It’s a little magical and a lot angry. I’m sucked in.

What We Ate (The First half of October version):

Friday: Pizza and movie night. Captain America. Fun, shiny entertainment.

Saturday: Birthday party leftovers – pretzels, veggies adn hummus, chips and salsa, cookies, cake, charcuterie plate. All the tasty things.

Sunday: Snack dinner from Birthday party leftovers again. This was such a lazy day – we didn’t have afternoon activities, so we stayed home and watched A Knight’s Tale. I had seen the 2001 Heath Ledger movie in the theatre when it first came out and thought it would make a fun movie to watch with the kids. It is just as stylish and cheeky as I remember. Though, of course watching it twenty years later and with kids, I found myself wishing that the storyline with the father were more fleshed out. It’s so interesting to watch movies of my youth with older eyes and brain and heart.

Monday: Mac and cheese (from the blue box) and edemame.

Tuesday: Nachos. We had a lot of chips leftover from the birthday party, so we sprinkled some beans, cheese, peppers, and jalapenos on them and made a couple pans of nachos.

Wednesday: Eggplant curry. vegan. I had some yellow curry paste to use up. It was definitely spicier than I thought it would be. I ate leftovers all week, tucked into a wrap.

Thursday: I worked this night. The Husband and kids got wings for dinner.

Friday: pizza and movie. I think this was the night they watched the Lego Batman movie.

Saturday: Dumplings and green beans.

Sunday: Leftovers and toast. I want ot get back ot Sunday night being leftovers/clean out the fridge night.

Monday: Garlic-y pork in the Instant Pot. Recipe from Melissa Clark’s book Dinner in and Instant. Eaten with tortillas.

Tuesday: no clue. I don’t think I was home, so the Husband cooked.

Wednesday: Lentils and sweet potato in the Instant Pot from the Good Housekeeping IP cookbook. The family liked this much better than I thought they would and the leftovers were great taken for lunch in wraps later the week.

Thursday: Noodles and tofu, the Husband cooked.

Friday: Pizza and Lilo and Stich. (I was working) When the 11 year old was a toddler we tried to watch this movie, but she got really upset by the chaos caused by Stitch and we had to turn it off. Clearly chaos does not bother her anymore.

Saturday: Dumplings and Broccoli. There is a theme to our Saturday nights

Sunday: Tuna potato salad. Kitchen sink meal. I had some potatoes to used up, and canned tuna is an easy protein, so I combined a can of tuna, steamed potatoes, pickled onion, radishes, and green pepper together. Olive oil, a dash of Dijon mustard and lots of black pepper. It was a lot tastier than I thought it would have been twenty minute earlier when I was staring in despair at the fridge without a plan for dinner.

Monday: Eggplant with pickled raisins and mint from the cookbook Ruffage. The Husband cooked. He had picked up this gorgeous cookbook from the library and it has a lot of surprising ways to prepare vegetables.

Tuesday: Green beans sauteed with tomatoes and garlic. The Husband cooked. I think this was also from Ruffage.

Wednesday: Bahn mi sandwiches from our favorite Vietnamese place. My father was in town and he bought us dinner.

Thursday: Dinner out with a Friend. I had mussels and paprika cauliflower.

Friday: Pizza and Lilo and Stitch 2. I was working that evening – there was no comment about the movie, so I guess it was entertaining?

(Bi) Weekly recap + what we ate: Back to Work

Last week, I started a short gig. Life has been a little work heavy. Work always feels all consuming when I’m in the thick of it, and I’m trying to work on that balance. This week I feel like I haven’t been showing up for the “life” parts of work/life balance. (I don’t love that phrase to begin with, though. Balance seems to indicate that there is a sense of equilibrium that is ideal and I’m not sure I believe in that. Maybe “balance” is just a sense of peace or resignation. Also “Work/Life” seems to indicated some kind of dichotomy, but work is part of life, not the opposite of it.) I’ve been pretty bad about getting home when I said I would. Something comes up, or I try to send that one last email, or attend to one detail. I know it’s hard on the rest of the family when “I’ll be home for dinner” becomes “I’ll be home for bedtime” becomes, “I’ll kiss them goodnight once I’m home.” so I want to get better at this. I’m trying to figure out if this is an issue with how I manage my work or if the issue is with the work itself.

On my self-maintenance habits: I did manage to run five times in these past two weeks, did at least ten minutes of yoga every day, and journal every day, and do my Wordle and Duolingo, so that’s in the “check mark!” column. On the other hand, I did not go to bed at a decent time most nights, and I skipped a lot of meals and ate a lot of midnight snacks, so I have demerits in the “sleep” and “eat” columns. I think partly because the rehearsal schedule was a little different- one big rehearsal in the middle of the day rather than two shorter rehearsals with a meal break in the middle – so there wasn’t always a “typical” time to have lunch. I did bring lots of snacks, so it was just a matter of making sure I took time to grab a snack whenever we had a short rehearsal break. I think, though, in constantly snacking, I missed having a sit down lunch so my brain would think I was famished when I got home after rehearsal and I’d eat less mindfully than I would like. So maybe I need to work on more filling snack meals, or just remembering to eat when I can, not when I have to. Kind of like peeing. Or just to not snack when I get home.

Good things:
– The Husband had given me a National Parks Pass for Christmas so we went on a hike/walk to Great Falls on Saturday. It was a great day for a little walk, and the kids liked climbing on the boulders. Now that I have a park pass I’ll be sure to go more often. I also need to plan other National Park visits.

-We took down Christmas. It always feels like a lot of work – we never remember which ornament goes in what box or how to Jenga all the boxes back in the storage bin. There must be an easier solution. Also now that the Christmas tree is down, I’m relishing how much space we have regained in the living room.

-One Saturday night after dinner, we had impromptu family reading time. We’ve been borrowing Vox books at the library for the two little kids – these are books with a build in audio player so that the kids can work it themselves. They love them. And I don’t have to read Frog and Toad 192,853,782 times. The oldest didn’t read because she was practicing piano, but it made a nice accompaniment for the rest of us, ensconced in our chairs with our books. Until she complained that she couldn’t concentrate on practicing because the Vox book was too loud. So we rearranged ourselves and put the two littles with their Vox book on the other side of the room and all got back to reading and practicing. All told, family reading time was perhaps only 30-45 minutes, but it seemed so indulgent to all just be able to sit together in a room for that amount of time – no laundry to do, no carpool to drive, no homework to think about.

-The Oldest kid turned eleven! Despite all the the trials of birthday celebrations I had written of in the last post, I think the now-eleven year old had a pretty good birthday. She got to choose her birthday cereal (she picked Frosted Flakes), and got to have her favorite dinner (The Husband’s kung pao chicken). Then on the next weekend we had some friends over for a sleepover and movie matinee. I was all concerned about what they would do at the sleepover, as I hadn’t planned anything, but we had the kids make individual pizzas and they played Apples to Apples and watched tv and drank soda and everyone seemed quite happy with that. The next morning I made three batches of waffles and we had some more friends come over, then the kids and dads went to see Puss in Boots. Initially at the beginning of the week, the only Sunday morning movie listed was Avatar and I was a little leery about having the kids watch a 3 hour PG 13 movie, but luckily when I checked on Thursday, Puss in Boots was playing, so I bought tickets for that. I think everyone had a great time.

-The day of the sleepover, I had to work, but I also still had to do the grocery shop for the sleepover. So I put on my efficient speedy shopper hat and went to the grocery store at 8:45am, stopped at the Deli to pick up the requested rainbow cake for the party, and was home by 10am and had time to put away the groceries before getting to work in time for an 11am rehearsal. For someone who has to read every food label, grocery shopping can become quite a drawn out event. But that morning, I had such a sense of flow… It just felt like a huge accomplishment to have all the shopping done and groceries put away before 10:30am.

– At our production meeting after our final dress rehearsal, the director of our show made a point to tell everyone what a good job she thought I was doing. It’s been a fast intense process and whereas typically I have at least one assistant, this time I didn’t have any assistants since the show was supposed to be pretty minimal. It wasn’t. It wasn’t a large show by any means, and it wasn’t terribly complex, but it was more involved than this kind of project has been in the past. On our tech day, I logged 13 000 steps/5.7 miles and 11 flights of stairs. This is actually surprising to me somewhat that it’s so high because typically as a stage manager, I’m tethered to my console so i don’t get as many steps in. So … 13 000 steps – not as high as an Assistant Stage Manager who constantly is running around backstage, but definitely higher than when I stage manage. Which is all to say, it was a lot of hats to wear for this one show and I was really touched that the director acknowledged that in front of everyone.

-We ate the peaches! The weather has been remarkably mild, so the thought of eating the peaches that I had canned last August didn’t occur to me. I often think I need to save them for the depths of winter. But last week, we decided that January was a fine time to eat the peaches. They were lovely and redolent of summer. Just opening up the jar and inhaling brought back summer days and sunshine.

– I have a co-worker, a conductor and pianist, who often comes into the rehearsal room in the morning to practice before rehearsal starts. Often I’m in there setting up and I like to listen to him practice. One time I made the offhand comment that I love how he plays Bach, so now he will always finish his session with a little bit of Bach if I’m in the room. What a wonderful privilege to be able to listen to him play as I bustle around in the quiet before a rehearsal, setting tables and chairs and refilling pencil cups. This is one of the joys of my job.

Grateful For:
– My work bestie, also good friend outside of work, who thinks of solutions that I can’t see, and who can do time math so effortlessly.
-Actually, all the people I work with. They are all so smart and good at their jobs and they make me laugh and remind me that what we do is as beautiful and thoughtful as it is sometimes ridiculous.
-The opportunity to work on such a cool set of short operas. I’d say “Buy tickets now!” but it’s already sold out.
-Music. I’ve been trying to listen to more music and this week, I’ve been listening to Baroque music as I run and contradance music as I work. I’m by no means a classical music expert, despite studying music, but fast baroque music is one of my favorite things in life. I found a Spotify play list called “Baroque workout” – doesn’t it seem like there is a playlist for everything? I’ve been using it for my runs and it’s been a great motivator. As for the contradance music – the Husband and I used to be big contradancers. We haven’t been in years, and I would love to go again, but I don’t think contradancing in a mask would be very pleasant, so we’ll wait for a bit. I happened to stumble across a contrandance playlist last week and listening to it reminded me of when the Husband and I met, and going to dances and the the swirling colours of the dance hall, and the toe-tappingly catchy music that just dares you to sit still. The playlist made me really happy.
-The Husband, as always, for holding down the fort. He is the reason I have clean clothes to wear and that the kids get dinner when I’m working. And even though I tell him to leave the kitchen for me to clean when I get home, it is almost always shining when I get home.

Looking forward to:
-Making bread. I had thought my sourdough starter was dead – I had been feeding it for almost two weeks with little result. This week, I gave it a little rye flour because I read that rye flour is extremely reactive. And lo and behold, the sad little starter has started to bubble again. I’m hoping that next week the starter will be in a place where I can make a loaf of bread.
-The five year old’s birthday! He has a Chuck E. Cheese party in a few weeks, so next week will just be us low key celebrating as a family with the tradition of his birthday cereal of choice, dinner of choice (he chose Ama’s chicken wings), and a small cake. Maybe I’ll venture to get him a balloon. And this time make it to Party City before closing.

Aspirations and weekend plans:
– Well, opening night. Probably a little bit of work to do in the afternoon to get ready for the show. It’s been an intense fast process and my calling score is a mess. So I have to go back and fix those Post-Its.
– morning basketball game for the 11 year old. Incidentally I kind of love this sign that hangs in the gym where the kids play basketball:

– skating lessons for the 5 year old.
– It’s Lunar New Year! My father is here visiting for the kids’ birthdays and coincidentally Lunar New Year. I always feel unprepared for Lunar New Year and then I vow to do better the next year, but then I forget. Luckily my father is here so he came up with a plan. We will go to Taiwanese breakfast and have dumplings for dinner and he will give the kids red envelopes. (And I’ve just taken two seconds to put a reminder in my calendar for Lunar New Year next year – February 10th, 2024 – so I’ll plan something. I’d love to have a dumpling party.)
– uncovering the bench in my bedroom that has become de facto clothes storage these past few weeks.
– picking up around the house, get the kids to tidy the toy room. (When I mentioned this task to her today, the 3 year old today asked me, “What’s the difference between ‘tidy’ and ‘clean’?” I guess, in my mind clean involves purging, and tidying involves just putting things back. Or pushing them aside so I can see the floor of the room again.)
-Outdoor time, probably a park or a nature ramble.

Something Thoughtful I’ve consumed lately:
A few weeks ago, in Emily Oster’s newsletter ParentData she wrote an essay “There’s No Secret Option C”, which I thought a really great way to frame decision making. Often when faced with a choice to make, I delay and dither, thinking that there is a perfect solution, just I haven’t thought of it yet, or this perfect solution just hasn’t presented itself to me yet. But, as Oster says, “There is no secret option C.” “In these complicated moments,” she writes, “we are often waiting for a secret third option. No matter how unlikely it is, how impossible, it’s hard not to imagine it.” But usually, there is no other option and delaying making a decision will only… delay things, often until you end up having not choice at all. (Which is another was to make a decision, but kind of a passive-aggressive way to go through life.) In a way it reminds me of what Oliver Burkeman says about recognizing the finite so that you do not getting bogged down by the infinite. It is not about the options to choose from, it is about choosing an option and moving forward with life knowing that the option isn’t perfect, but that you can deal with it.

What We Ate – There was no meal planning these past two weeks. The Husband actually cooked dinner all week. I admit I am a bit of a control freak about dinner, so it felt like I was majorly dropping the ball to have him fully take over dinner. But he made a pretty awesome week of dinners. And as much grief as I give him for being a meat and potatoes man, there were a lot of vegetables involved.

Saturday: Pizza and Catherine Called Birdy. We’ve been having pizza and movie night on Saturdays because of basketball practice. Catherine Called Birdy is based on the book by Karen Cushman, which I remember reading when I was a preteen. (Although I think I liked her Midwife’s Apprentice better.) The movie was a lot of fun, though I felt like it went in a different direction than the book.

Sunday: Leftover friend rice. As in fried rice made from leftovers from the fridge.

Monday: Cucumber salad and roasted poatotes. Funny story, the Husband likes recipes from the BBC Cooking website and this recipe was for Courgette salad. But the Husband bought cucumbers instead because he didn’t know what courgettes were. Which, I think actually ended up tasting better than squash would have.

Tuesday: Taco Cups. I wish I could find and link all the recipes that the Husband used because there were all really good. This one was probably my favorite. It involved lining muffin cups with flour tortillas, filling them with black beans and cheese and then baking til the tortillas were crispy and the cheese melted. I came home from work and promptly devoured all three that were leftover. And easy to eat with one hand too. Bonus.

Wednesday: Kung Pao Chicken and cake. This was the now-eleven year old’s birthday dinner request.

Thursday: Eggplant and Halloumi stacks. This sounded complicated. Fried eggplant slices, layered with Halloumi cheese. I think there was a sauce. It was delicious, clearly since there were no leftovers by the time I got home.

Friday: Sheet pan gnocchi. I actually cooked this one – Sheet pan gnocchi has become one of my favorite ways to use up veggies. In this case, carrots, mushrooms and broccoli, mixed with olive oil and pesto. And the meal comes together in about thirty minutes.

Saturday: Pizza and sleepover night. And Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. This was our first Indiana Jones movie as a family. I’d forgotten how funny they were. Even the fight scenes – they all have this impish air about them. The five year old had this observation: “A good way to save someone is to shoot the driver of the truck.” I’d say that’s a pretty accurate takeaway. Also: “Indiana Jones knows lots of tricks!”
All the Indiana Jones movies are now on Amazon Prime, so I feel like they will be in our near future.

Sunday: Take out Chinese.

Monday: Vegetable omlettes. Due to a spousal miscommunication in advance of the now-eleven year old’s sleepover, both the Husband and I bought two dozen eggs that morning. Which makes four dozen eggs, in addition to the dozen adn a half we already had at home. So now we have a lot of eggs to use up.

Tuesday: Migas, – This was tasty even eaten cold straight out of the pan three hours later.

Wednesday: Carrot Parsnip Soup. I actually prepped this one for the Husband. I did all the initial steps in the InstantPot and then set it to cook. When the Husband got home, he pureed the soup in the Vitamix and then served it.

Thursday: Egg bake with potatoes and mushrooms. Also delicious cold eaten out of the pan four hours later. I was told, however, that the three year old carefully picked all the mushroom and onions out of this.

Friday: Breakfast sandwiches eaten with grapes. Fast meal for a basketball practice day.

Weekend Report: Hamilton and Chopsticks

And afternoon at the Theatre! Photo taken by my cousin 🙂

The last weekend in September!

Our big weekend adventure was going to see Hamilton. I had bought tickets last spring so this had been on the calendar for a while. I took the ten year old and the five year old and my cousin. It was the five year old’s first time big theatre experience, so I was really excited to see what he thought. He loves listening to Hamilton and can sing large chunks of it. And when we pray at dinner, he still says at the end, “And God please bless Hamilton’s son, Philip.” The ten year old has been going to the theatre since she was three when she would come watch rehearsals while I worked. She really loves going, and it’s definitely something that I enjoy doing with her.

There is a quote in Kevin Wilson’s novel Nothing to See Here:
“Maybe raising children was just giving them the things you loved most in the world and hoping that they loved them, too.”
I think about this quote when I take my kids to the theatre. I was so obsessed with musicals – and later opera – when I was a tween, and this love of theatre led me to what I do today. I hope my kids love the theatre as much as I do, and even though I know they are their own people with their own thoughts and feelings, I’m sure a little part of me will be sad if they don’t love it too.

And truth. Even though the five year old seemed like he had a good time – he’s pretty stoic and reserved so it’s hard to gauge sometimes- afterwards when I asked him if he liked going to see a show, he said, “I’d rather run errands with Dad.” So there’s that.

Reading the program – a very important part of the theatre going experience.

Two things to get off my chest –
1) the show was really loud. I know that I’m used to working in opera where microphones aren’t usually used, but even so, I feel like the show was unnecessarily loud. It made it hard to hear the lyrics clearly sometimes, which is a shame because the words are such a big part of the show’s brilliance . I think I think this every time I see a big show, so it’s not specific to this experience.
2) We sat behind a really tall person, and it was hard to see some of the action onstage. I know, not anyone’s fault, but it was slightly annoying to have to shift in my seat to be able to see who was singing. His party of four or five people was also late getting back at intermission and they had to cross in front of us to get back to their seats, blocking our view of the first number And then he kept his hat on for about half of the second act. I was really irked. I haven’t been to see live theatre like this in so long that I’d somewhat forgotten how much being a part of an collective group of people is central to the experience of going to the theatre. The ten year old didn’t like the person she was sitting next to, so after intermission she swapped seats to sit behind the tall man, that being preferable to her.

On the flip side of the communal experience coin, though, the family sitting behind us was super friendly and before the show we chatted about whether or not we’d seen the show before and how their son had a soccer game right after – friendly idle chit chat, you know. They even told the five year old that he could sit up on his knees if he wanted to see better, and that it wouldn’t bother them or block their view. At the end of the show they complimented us on how well behaved he was, which is always nice to hear as a parent.

So despite minor irritations, it was a lovely afternoon. We had lunch at the Kennedy Center’s café – which is often the same food we get in the cafeteria, but feels so much more elegant enjoyed on the rooftop. Then we saw the show and there might have been some singing along. When “Dear Theodosia” started, the five year old said to me, “Mommy! it’s your favorite song!” Which it was and I thought it was sweet that he remembered.

We had seen the version of Hamilton released on Disney+, so I knew what to expect in a lot of it. Even still, there is something I love about seeing the whole stage picture rather than close ups and whatever shot the film’s director wants you to see. So much of the choreography and staging features little moments on the second level of the set or in corners of the stage that you don’t see in the film. I think that was one of the things I was so impressed by – the show is so detailed and precise, and I think that is something that came across better watching the show live.

The five year old’s favorite thing was “The magic ceiling.” By which he meant the moment when the lanterns flew in from above to create the ballroom. There is something really dear to me that he called it “magic.” We often use the term “the magic of theatre” when we talk about stage tricks or illusions or even just simple hacks – things like a chandelier that looks amazing and full, but is really half the size and built in a way to skew perspective. Or a sponge of blood hidden on the set so the singer can smear it across their chest and pretend to be stabbed. Or decanter made of breakable sugar glass that shatters onstage at the right time, or a moment of lighting that makes the stage look like sunset. All these we call “magic” but the real magic for us is in the skill that it takes to think of and execute these things. For the five year old, however, a bank of lanterns descending out of the sky without any visible operator – he thinks that is truly magic.

The ten year old’s favorite part was the Schuyler Sisters. She also had some really insightful things to say about how this cast was different than the original cast, which I thought it was cool that she pays attention like that.

After the show we had a bit of time, so we went back to the roof terrace and strolled around and enjoyed the view of the city. It’s one of my favorite places because you can see the Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Memorial from there and it feels so classic DC.

For dinner that night, we met up with the Husband, the newly minted three year old, and my mother at a Mexican restaurant. The food there is always tasty and the staff super friendly. I ordered the seafood soup, which come chock full of clams and shrimp and even half a lobster. So tasty and decadent. All that aside, the real reason we picked the restaurant is that they will sing to you on your birthday. I felt a little badly that I didn’t arrange a birthday party for the baby, so I thought this might be a festive way to celebrate. (or to continue celebrating. Believe me, there was a lot of cake eaten between Friday and Sunday.) The restaurant was super crowded and, as always happens, once the staff start singing Happy Birthday, everyone in the restaurant also started singing and cheering. It was a lot of fun. And she even got a free ice cream with a candle in it!

After that fun filled day, Sunday was pretty chill. The ten year old had swimming clinic, and I took the five year old to meet a friend at the park with my cousin and the baby coming with. Then I took my cousin to the Metro station. A little sadly, because it had been so much fun to have her visit.

The rest of the day was pretty much relaxing and chores. I took a nap in our backyard while The Husband gardened, only to be woken up when it started to rain. Then the Husband and I left the kids at home with my mom and went grocery shopping, which is what counts as a date these days, I guess. The evening I made kitchen sink ramen for dinner – basically ramen with some odd and end veggies I had to use up – two heads of baby bok choy, some broccoli, carrots, and also some shrimp thrown in for protein. It was really tasty, and it allowed the kids the chance to use the learning chopsticks that my cousin had brought.

I don’t remember how I learned to use chopsticks, but I don’t really use them correctly, for which my uncle is always teasing me. I hold the top chopstick between my middle and ring fingers, but one is supposed to use the pointer and middle fingers. My method works for me, but it does look slightly awkward.

I hadn’t thought about teaching my kids to use chopsticks because I figured, “I’m not using them correctly, I don’t know how to teach my kids to do it right.” We’ve had learning chopsticks before for the ten year old but they didn’t quite stick and now she sort of has figured out her own method, which involves a lot of stabbing and scooping. The learning chopsticks my cousin brought are great because they have loops where you put your fingers and the tops are attached, kind of making them like tongs, which is helpful when learning. Plus they are in the shape of Elsa, Rapunzel, and Spiderman. The kids were super excited to use them and a few time the past few days have requested “Chopstick meals.” Kitchen sink ramen, definitely fit the bill.

So a good weekend – a nice combination of something fun and something comfortingly mundane. And now I’m back at work, and it will be November before I have another two day weekend. Oh well, this was for sure a nice weekend.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Testing and ten year old

This was the week of COVID test distribution. All public school students were sent home on Monday with a rapid test kit. (Well, all schools that were still meeting in person; eleven schools in our district had transitioned to distance learning because of their COVID numbers, though I understand test kits were available for those families to pick up at the school.) Our school had a Zoom COVID test party, which I thought was a cute idea. The Principal led everyone though how to use their test kits, with a 15 minute dance party while we waited for the results. The nine year old’s test was negative. I had a feeling that it would be, but given that the four year old had no symptoms and he tested positive, I’ve given up any expectations on how COVID spreads.

The County also started handing out test kits at Public Libraries. I love that the public libraries are seen as the right hub for the distribution to happen. The first two days, I drove by a couple libraries and the lines were quite long, so I didn’t stop. In fact, on Tuesday they ran out of tests before the end of the distribution window. Wednesday, I got there half an hour after the window opened and managed to get several kits because they gave two to each resident, including children. The line was quite long when I arrived, but it moved quickly and we were in and out in about ten minutes. I’ve been hearing stories about how there are people selling on Craigslist these COVID test kits that city/county governments are distribution for free … which I find really angering.

In other COVID news, on Tuesday evening, we were told that the the four year old’s class would be closed because of an exposure in his classroom. The school was initially somewhat vague about re-opening plans because while the state has approved a five day quarantine and negative test for kids to return to class after an exposure, our County still mandates a 10 day quarantine period. So I girded my loins for another ten days at home with the four year old. But then, the next evening, the school and wrote, saying since the four year old had had COVID within the past ninety days (seventeen days, to be exact) he was allowed to return to the classroom. Hooray! I had already made plans with him for Thursday, so he went back on Friday, one of two kids in class. I asked him how it was being in such a small class, and he said he liked it. Though he added, “But sometimes my head said to me, ‘What is going on?'”

I hear you, little guy. Some days it feels like such a mental and emotional roller coaster having to navigate COVID.

In happier side, my oldest turned ten last week. Wow. I look at her and wonder how we got here so soon and how she got to be so tall and have so many opinions. A decade seems to me to be a long time … surely it hasn’t been a decade since she was born? And then other days, I think, if she’s been around so long, why haven’t I figured this whole parenting thing out yet? Isn’t ten years enough time to figure things out? But I have to admit that my kid still confounds me every single day, and every single day I’m convinced that I’m bungling things.

Anyhow, at her request, we had an ice cream cake and Chipotle and probably a little too much screentime. The day after her birthday was a half day of school, so the Husband took a half day off and we took her skating. Or rather the ten year old and four year old and I went skating and the Husband watched the baby and cheered us on. It was the four year old’s first time skating and I thought he did okay! And he got lots of help from his sister. He was also super excited by the Zamboni as it is featured in the book that we got him for Christmas, “Unconventional Vehicles“.

After the four year old got tired of skating, the ten year old and I skated together for the rest of our time, gliding lazily around the rink, trying to avoid the groups of teenagers and middle schoolers. Originally this was supposed to be a mommy daughter date, and she was disappointed that her little brother had to tag along because of his school closure, so I’m glad we got a good half hour on the ice just the two of us.

Some kid adventures this week:

Both the baby and the four year old began the winter sessions of swim lessons this week. Winter swim lessons are certainly harder to navigate than summer swim lessons. In the summer, you can put them in their swim suits before you leave the house and they can ride home slightly wet, sitting on a towel. But in the winter, there’s all those layer of clothes and the dressing and undressing and undressing and dressing. But the kids have fun and I do want them to learn to swim sooner rather than later. Though to be honest, I feel like they’re going to need more than once a week lessons to truly learn. I think the ten year old really learned to swim independently the summer she had daily swim lessons for two weeks.

A new to us park: It was quite cold (for us) this week. No snow, but temperatures in the low 30s to mid 20s. I only made it outside for 13 hours this week (17 hours a week is the average to get to 1000 hours for the year. But I figure things will even out in the summer…) Still, I was determined to explore a little bit outside, so Monday day after school drop off, I took the baby to an “adventure playground” that was a little bit of a drive from home, but not too far from the ten year old’s school. I think the only thing truly “adventure” about this playground was the climbing wall, but there was a castle and a pirate ship which were perfect for imaginative adventures. And lots of slides and swings and pretend cars.

Game nights: On nights when we manage to clean up dinner by 7:15p or so, we’ve taken to playing games as a family. For Christmas we added Sleeping Queens, King of Tokyo and Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza to our game cupboard. Even the four year old can play these games, which is great because for a while I felt bad that he was left out of game night. We help him strategize sometimes, and I’ve loved seeing how he’s coming to understand how each game is played. It’s been really fun, and we laugh a lot. Yes, sometimes there is pouting and tantrums when someone doesn’t win, but we’re working on those life lessons, I hope.

What We Ate: The Husband decided that he wanted to cook dinner this week, which was kind of great. It made me realize that a) I do like cooking and have been somewhat a control freak about it, and b) cooking takes up a lot of time, and I have so much more free time in the evenings when I don’t have to cook! The kid’s Swedish Climbing Wall has been great during this pre-dinner time – I can sit in the room while they climb it, but I only have to interact minimally so I can read or do some work while they play.

Saturday: Hmmm… can’t remember.

Sunday: The Husband made some kind of stir fry.

Monday: Spicy tofu tacos and Napa Cabbage Slaw. This was really tasty – one of those meals where you realize that it’s the sauce that’s important, not what you put it on.

Tuesday: Chipotle, as requested by the ten year old for her birthday.

Wednesday: Dumplings and french fries, take out. Not the healthiest, but it was supposed to be a post-skating snack and then we realized afterwards that we were too full to eat a proper dinner. There was definitely a lot of birthday slacking going on this week.

Thursday: Chicken Broccoli Stir Fry with Rice.

Friday: Pizza – the Husband even put anchovies on mine! And we watched Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. I feel like I spent the whole movie staring at Keanu Reeves with a little bit of wonder at how different he is in this movie from really anything else he’s done.

Weekly recap + what we ate – More snow and celebrations

This was the Husband’s Birthday Week. We had take out of his choice. I baked scones – two kinds! I baked a requested cake. The recipe was from his mother’s recipe box and involved pearl clutching things like margarine and a box of icing sugar – no measurements needed. I had to Google that last one. Thank goodness I did. Apparently a box is one pound. I happened to have a two pound bag and had contemplated using the whole thing.

In these COVID times, an in person birthday gathering was not going to happen, so I organized a surprise birthday Zoom call. I guess one of the advantages of doing a birthday party via Zoom is that you can invite people from anywhere in place and time. In addition to family, we had friends from college and friends from where we are now all on the same call, some of whom were states and even countries away. Having such a cross section of the Husband’s life was one of the nice parts of having a Zoom party.

I wanted to come up with a way to make a Zoom birthday party fun and avoid the awkwardness of a gathering of people who hadn’t met before – the awkwardness potential potentially exacerbated by the Zoom factor. I hit upon the idea of playing Husband Trivia. I came up with trivia questions about Husband and encouraged everyone to bring questions too. I thought the game would go on for maybe 30 minutes, but to my delight almost everyone on the call brought a Husband trivia question and the call lasted an hour. There was much laughter and many fun facts about the Husband gleaned. I was so pleased with how it turned out. I’m not sure that it wasn’t the awkward gathering of random people that I had feared, but the Husband sure had fun seeing everyone and reliving life moments via trivia, so I count it as a success.

And with that, birthday season at our house was over for the year and we took the birthday banner down. From Christmas (Jesus) to the second week of February we celebrate a birthday every two weeks. (And then there is the outlier baby with the fall birthday.) Birthday season does feel a little relentless sometimes, having to plan so many back to back celebrations. But in the end, it does help cheer up the depths of winter to have something to celebrate.

The rest of the week was kind of up and down. I started another drawing class -I have a fair amount of excitement and trepidation going in; I’m looking forward to having weekly art projects, but at the same time, the syllabus seems a little advanced for me. I think I just have to be unafraid of making bad art.

Friday was a day off for the nine year old. I was again caught unawares of this day off. I think in the repetitive days, I sometimes forget to check my calendar. Determined to get outside, I packed some hot chocolate and snack bars and took the kids to a nearby nature center which had a couple miles of wooded walking trails. Babywearing in the winter is always somewhat bulky, so I chose not to bring the carrier or hiking backpack and just let the baby walk. Impressively, she managed to walk over a mile of the hike; I only had to carry her for the final stretch and then mostly to keep her from playing in the mud and water. The kids usually whine a little at the prospect of a hike/walk, but once they accept that this is what we are doing and they get out in nature, they find things to engage their interest. Like playing Three Billy Goats Gruff:

And finding vines to swing on:

The joy of discovering nature’s playground.

Friday was also Lunar New Year. I don’t really celebrate, but I did FaceTime with my grandfather in Taiwan. In past years, there’s always been either a Taiwan school event or the nine year old’s school has a performance, but… COVID. I realized that I’ve relied on others to remind me how to mark the occasion – most years I’m caught unawares when Lunar New Year rolls around. I think I want to get better at marking the occasion. Maybe not to the point where I make a Thanksgiving level meal, but noodles and dumplings and some other traditions might be nice. My parents did send me these really neat apples which were grown especially for the New Year with felicitious messages stenciled on. As you can see, the baby got to them before I could get a good picture, but they are really quite neat.

Just another excuse to post a cute baby picture. But the apple is pretty neat too!

This was also the week of the Trump impeachment hearings. That was definitely distracting and disheartening and took up way too much of my time and emotional energy.

I think I’m also still struggling with finding routine post quarantining. When we were stuck at home, a routine was easy and gave me a reassuring sense of structure. But now that we are back out in the world, there are, despite COVID, things that just creep up and need to be slotted in – book pick ups, dance lessons, errands, friends… I feel like I still haven’t found what the current rhythm is and everything feels a little freeform and hard to account for right now. I think I want to get back to tracking my time – that kind of accountability might be what I need to get structure back.

A funny thing happened the during the first day of art class. We were going around introducing ourselves and giving a bit of our story. And for some reason I didn’t introduce myself as an unemployed stage manager – I didn’t mention a career at all, just that I wanted to learn to draw and that I had three kids running around. It didn’t occur to me until afterwards, but it felt like somehow, I’ve started identifying myself with where I am now, and not what I used to be. I’m pondering that one…. because a year after we packed up our post its and 0.9pt pencils, I’m not sure what claim I still have to my occupational identity.

Fun food things:

Simplify: I made muesli for the first time. And a light kind of went off in my head. I used to make granola, but this is much easier. It’s like granola without adding sugar. Or having to bake it. Basically assemble what seeds, nuts, and dried fruit I had in the pantry, dump it in a container, and …. breakfast! I’ve been eating it steeped in boiling water and sprinkled with berries and it’s been a perfect cold weather breakfast.

Simplify II – I went to pick up some dumplings for the Husband’s birthday lunch. It turns out our favorite dumpling place has started selling frozen dumplings in bags of 40. I immediately bought a bag. I had been wanting to make dumplings for a while, but it is such a lot of work – fun work when you can gather people and have a dumpling party, but rather onerous when you have to do it all yourself. Well, for $25, I can have like homemade dumplings, without the homemade effort. Win!

What we ate:

Saturday: Take out from Full On – sandwiches, wings and onion rings.

Sunday: Cauliflower Curry and Lemon Rice with peanuts, recipes from Fresh India.

Monday: Sushi Take Out and birthday cake.

Tuesday: Fried Tofu with Braised Bok Choy, with farro.

Wednesday: Miso Mushroom Pasta from Milk Street Fast and Slow.

Thursday: Beef Noodle Soup from Milk Street Fast and Slow (cookbook of the week!). Taiwanese Beef Noodle Soup (Niu rou mian) was a staple of my childhood, but for some reason it took a fancy cookbook from New England to prompt me to make it for myself. It was a pure bowl of comfort and nostalgia.

Friday: pizza (homemade – really tasty whole wheat crust from Mark Bittman’s Dinner for Everyone) and Mary Poppins.

Weekly recap + what we ate – positivity

A week that started off with much excitement.

The eight year old turned nine!

Crazy to me to think that nine years ago, I was 33 weeks pregnant and went in for a routine OB check whereupon they determined that my fluids were low and sent me to the hospital. And three hours later, the OB sliced me open, pulled out a baby, and we were suddenly parents.

And now that 4lb 8 oz baby is a creative, expressive, energetic, empathetic nine year old.

Since we couldn’t have a birthday party, we asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to watch Star Wars movies all weekend. So that’s what we did. Interspersed with a couple chores and some time running around outside. We didn’t watch every Star Wars movie ever, but we did get through quite a few – Rogue One, Solo, Empire Strikes Back, The Phantom Menace, and The Force Awakens.

At the beginning of the week, there was a call on our landline. Usually we let those go to voicemail, but the caller ID said “MD COVID” so I was pretty sure it wasn’t spam.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hello. This is ___ from the Maryland Health Department. Is this the parent of [Baby’s Name]?”

“Yes, this is.”

“We’re calling to follow up on [baby]’s positive COVID test result….”

**** mental record scratch in my head ****

So that happened.

The lady on the phone was quite nice and very understanding of the fact that one really cannot isolate a 15 month old on their own, so the whole family would be quarantining. I am also somewhat fascinated that they give you a letter for your school or employer that outlines the dates of your quarantine and dates when you can re-test.

Things I’ve googled since talking to the health department:
“difference between quarantine and isolating”
“quarantine protocol”
“CDC COVID quarantine guidelines”
“how to sew juggling balls”
“building with cardboard techniques”

We are completely mystified since the rest of the family had negative test results. Apparently false positives are very rare, so I’m just assuming that the baby did indeed have COVID. The rest of us have been completely asymptomatic, so there is always a possibility that she did get it from one of us, and then the virus passed out of our system before we got tested. We’ll never know. It is frustratingly mysterious.

In essence, life continues somewhat the same as before, only we don’t go to the playground or on hikes, and we’ve finally had to figure out grocery delivery. Thankfully we also have some friends who went on a grocery run for us to our favorite small grocery store. I’ve had to miss winter walks with my college friend, but we’ve had lengthy phone dates.

I have never been so grateful to have a backyard.

Also very grateful for the new oven.

Other Fun Things this week:

Since life is very much focussed at home, I’ve been doing a lot of baking. After three weeks of uncertainty, my sourdough starter started to bubble and rise again. It had been three weeks of dutifully discarding and feeding with an anemic bubble or two of life to show for it. I was starting to wonder if I had killed my starter. I tried to make some bread with the inert starter around the new year, but the dough did not rise despite 24 hours in the “proof” setting of the oven (another feature of the oven which made me really excited). I had killed my starte once before, and in that case the pink scum on top of the starter left no doubt that the science experiment was done. But this time the scant bubbles I saw every morning of this starter kept hope alive. This week, though, some corner turned, and the starter came to bubbly, frothy life. I baked two batches of bread and fresh baked bread brought us much joy.

I’ve been slowly working my way through the Busy Toddler preschool curriculum. It is pretty low key – just 30- 45 minutes of activities a day. Some of the activities are pretty hit or miss in terms of keeping the 3 year old interested. This week, though, tongs and pom poms were surprisingly engaging for both the littles.

Our kitchen window faces east, and it’s getting to the time of year when the morning sky is gorgeous as I make my first cup of tea. Definitely something that falls into the “savor” list:

What We Ate:

Saturday: Pasta and meatballs with Garlic Bread. A dinner request from the (now) nine year old’s birthday weekend. I made turkey meatballs which I then threw into the InstantPot with noodles and tomato sauce. (Love this method for making pasta and meatballs because everything can be made in one pot.)

Sunday: Chipotle. Second dinner request for birthday weekend.

Monday: Tombstone Pizza and Brownies. With cut up carrots. The (now) nine year old’s birthday dinner request. She also made most of it herself.

Tuesday: Roast Salmon and Green Beans with coconut rice. This was really tasty. The salmon was just salt, pepper, olive oil roasted at 400 for 15 mins. The coconut rice was from Run Fast, Cook Fast, Eat Slow. Basically you make brown rice and when it’s done you stir in coconut oil and torn up nori pieces. The green beans were from Meera Sodha’s Fresh India cookbook and featured sauteeing the beans in sesame seeds, ginger, garlic and tomatoe paste. It was really good and easy – a high taste to ease of cooking ratio!

Wednesday: Tofu Ground “beef” with noodles and pickled cucumber, radishes and carrots. A riff on the ground pork and rice noodle dish from Dinner Illustrated.

Thursday: Leftover Chili (The last of it)

Friday: Homemade pizza and Bears, the Disney Documentary – beautiful. Also I was really fascinated by the footage during the end credits that showed how the film crews were able to get close to the animals.