children and chores – Life Off Headset

(Tri) Weekly recap + what we ate: FOUR!!!!

We are deep into October! Even though the weather has been in the so very up and down here, it does feel as if we are firmly into fall. The trees have started to take on crimson and gold tips and tinges, I wake up in pre-dawn darkness, and we dine as the sun is slipping away. One of the true indications of fall for me is when the morning sunlight slants sharply into the kitchen through the window over the sink so that washing dishes in the morning is a blinding exercise. Sometimes I do dishes leaning to one side so I can avoid the sun’s rays piercing my eyeballs. Sometimes I just decide that the dishes can wait until the sun move on. Then I tell myself- just wait a few weeks and this timing of sunlight will pass. Like many things things in life…

In the mean time I will enjoy pumpkins…

The gourd situation at my favorite market

Leaves…

and making applesauce:

I mentioned last post that we were having a birthday party for the youngest and all my anxiety about last minute planning and lack of party guests. Well, the lack of RSVPs actually turned out for the best because it was raining all weekend, banishing the possibility of having any part of the festivities outside. And given that the party was at our house – well, it seems like 11 kids and 10 adults made for a plenty big enough party inside our house. House size is certainly relative – our current house is definitely bigger than our first house, yet is not as big as houses you would find in our area- but all the same, I wouldn’t objectively call our house small, yet I can’t imagine having any more people inside than we had for this birthday party.

We basically set up three areas for everyone: the living/dining room for food and cookie decorating; the toy room for, well, toys and playing and we have a Swedish climbing ladder there that was very popular; and the basement where we cleared everything breakable and set up music for a dance party. I will say the toy room was at max capacity what with everyone wanting to play with the toys and try out the climbing ladder, and parents in there to make sure no one fell off the climbing wall. Or at least no one got seriously hurt falling off the climbing wall. If we had to do this again, I might clear more toys out of the toy room to give more space – that whole room was a disaster zone. It still is. Also maybe make parents sign waivers if their kids are going to try the climbing ladder. Kidding. But maybe I shouldn’t be.

The cookie decorating, which was the main activity went rather well, I think. People seemed to really like it. I had gotten the idea from seeing a local sweet shop offer the same thing, but there the kids would also bake the cookies. I figured a bunch of four year olds would not have the patience to roll out and bake and decorate cookies, so we just went with the decorating bit.

We put two kid sized tables in the living room, covered them with paper and set out bowls of icing and jars of sprinkles. We gave each kid a piece of parchment paper on which to decorate their cookies, in an attempt to try to contain the mess.

Things that I think made the cookie decorating go well:

– We ordered the cookies rather than trying to bake them myself. We called our local bakery and ordered 48 unfrosted cookies. They make the best cookies and I didn’t have to bake any. And the cookies came in a variety of shapes, which was fun.

– We made all the frosting using a royal icing mix. I was just going to go get a few tubs of Duncan Hines frosting, but the Husband went to a cake decorating store by his office and they showed him royal icing mix- you just mix it with water and voila! This was waaaaaay better than Duncan Hines- it was spreadable but stiff enough not to be too messy. I mixed it with gel food colouring so we had three different colours plus white. Another great thing about royal icing is that it hardens as it dries, which gives the cookies that professional cookie sheen. I have an extra bag of royal icing mix and I’m excited to use it for Christmas.

– We used old spice jars for the sprinkles. This was the Husband’s brilliant idea. The Husband had bought six different kinds of sprinkles from the cake decorating store. I was going to put the sprinkles in a small bowl. The Husband had the idea to wash out the old spice containers that we had been keeping for a rainy day and put the sprinkles in those so the kids could just shake them out. It was still messy, but so much less messy than bowls.

-For spreading the icing, we bought 4” offset spatulas from a restaurant supply store. The small size was good for little hands and much easier to use than plastic knives. Plus I had the kids take them home as their party favor.

One thing I wasn’t prepared for was that the kids would want to eat their cookies right away. We had bought cute boxes for everyone to take their cookies home, but I think only used half of them. Kids were very eager to try their colorful efforts as soon as they were done. At the end of the party, one kid asked me, “Are there goody bags?” and I thought, “Well… you were supposed to take your cookies home…” We did also get mini rolling pins to go in the boxes, which were super cute and I had a parent tell me a couple days later that they are great for playing with kinetic sand.

Birthday cookies. Not sure what’s with the random hands.

My other favorite thing from the party is that we ordered soft pretzels. I was driving down the major street by us when I saw a yard signs advertising The DC Pretzel Company. I love soft pretzels, so of course I had to look them up. Turns out a guy, originally from Philadelphia, started a weekend business making soft pretzels. During the week, he works for the federal government, and then on the weekend, he makes pretzels out of one of those shared industrial kitchens. And the service was great! I had all sorts of questions on how many to order, and my email was answered promptly (with a 10% off coupon!) and then when I had to add additional pretzels to my original order, the owner texted me to reassure me that the two orders would be combined. And the pretzels were sooooo tasty! Chewy, malty, and flavorful. And vegan. And since we ordered too many, we were lucky to eat them for days – we reheated them in the oven and they were just as chewy and tasty. 10/10!!! I would definitely order again. (Thank you for coming to my Yelp review.)

The morning of the four year old’s birthday, the Husband said, “It’s going to be so weird- we won’t have a baby in the house anymore. After twelve years!” And it’s true- there’s something bittersweet for me about no longer being in the baby phase. I loved having babies – the soft cheeks and unformed blob of sweetness. Now it feels like my kids are all muscles and limbs. And opinions and thoughts. I know time only moves forward, and watching kids grow from helpless bundles into real people really makes that thought hit home, showing me every day that there is no going backwards.

Other things and happenings – I was listening to the podcast The Fix, which talks about work, more specifically advancing equality in the workplace. I find the hosts and her guests very insightful on issues that I do think about a lot especially since I work in an industry that is historically (and let’s be honest continues to be) not terribly diverse. The episode I was listening to talked about the importance of building self-awareness at work – and one exercise is for ten days to take 15 minutes a day and write down: What went well today, What didn’t go so great, what could I do differently? I’ve been trying to do this reflection on a work and personal level lately and I think it’s been a good frame for thinking back.

Going well – Chore spinner! It used to be that the kids each had their specific chores to do after dinner. Then it came up that the kids were always wanting to do someone else’s chore, and it wasn’t fair that all one kid got to do was take the napkins down to laundry, or it wasn’t fair that so and so got to use the broom. So a couple weeks ago, we instituted a chore spinner. There are six evening chores and each kid spins to find out which two chores they will be responsible for. The chores are:
-dining room (wipe down table and sweep floor)
-dry dishes and help put them away
-pick up the living room and the foyer
-take the napkins and dirty towels down to the laundry room
-pick up the bedroom and make the beds
-wipe down the bathroom counter after teeth brushing.
Clearly some chores are faster than others, but the beauty of the new system is that one person doesn’t have the easy task all the time – it’s totally up to chance who will get the much coveted bathroom counter wipe down. (Also – side note, the kids at some point also started wiping down the toilet in addition to the bathroom counter. Not sure how I feel about this – on the one hand, it’s the toilet can be a little gross, but on the other hand, they are using Clorox wipes, so it’s should be pretty sanitary. Also – I find it fascinating that they don’t really know yet that wiping down the toilet is considered gross to some people. ) WE do help the little kids with the dining room and the living room if they draw that because those are bigger tasks and they kind of still suck at sweeping. All in all, though, it has made the kids less grumbly about chores. Who know how long the novelty of the chore spinner will work as a means to more cleaning/less whining evenings, but I’ll take whatever I can get on the kids and chores front these days.

Another thing that went well recently: Biking to work. I got to bike to work this week. At some point last spring I did something to one my bike inner tubes and then the bike languished in the shed for many months. The Husband actually fixed it a while ago but I just hadn’t found time to get the bike out. But this week, I pulled it out and biked to work on a day when I didn’t have to do the school bus run. I was reminded about how much I love riding to work. I did have to walk the bike up the last hill before work because I misjudged my shifting and didn’t shift in time to make the climb easier, but all in all, it was a nice ride.

Things not really going well right now: I’m adjusting to being back at work. The work part is fine, the home part has been a bit of a mess. I’ve been very bad at predicting when I’ll get home, which, understandably, causes much consternation. I think I’ll be home by 6:30p, and I don’t get home until 8:30pm and it makes bedtime tricky. This issue for me is two fold:
1) getting sucked into lengthy last minute conversations and tasks at work. I’ve gotten pretty good at finishing all the tangible tasks on my own to do list in a timely manner, but I’m discovering that having more responsibility means more people want your attention on things. Which is great and all, and I want to have thoughtful and thorough conversations, but sometimes I need to figure out how to put a pin in something and get out the door. Or to have more succinct conversations?
2) not communicating with the Husband when I’m coming home when these last minute things pop up. Rehearsal is done at 5:30pm, so I tell him I can be home by 6:30pm, but then one thing and another and suddenly it’s 6:15 and I’m still typing the rehearsal notes and then someone asks my input on something and I get sucked back into work things and then when I next look up, it’s 7:00pm. I know the answer is to text at 6:15pm saying “I’ll be home at 7pm”, but I’m always optimistic at 6:15pm that I’m about to hit send and walk out the door and I’ll only be ten minutes late home, so is that really worth a text or should I just plow right on so I can leave? That’s the internal monologue. And the answer should be, “yes, just send that text.”
Anyhow, I’m working on it. I think from the work perspective I have good work-life balance, but from the life perspective, work is winning out a little right now. hmmmm…. maybe I should unpack that a little.

What can I do differently: (I like the framing of do “differently” vs. do “better”. because if the expectation is that changes *must* improve things, it feels so daunting. But if the idea is just to change the way something is done, then it makes the process of change much more forgiving.) I think I need an automated system or reminder to help me track time after rehearsal is over so I continue to be efficient and conscious of time. Maybe an alarm at 6:25 to remember that the intern needs to wrap up and I should send a status report to the Husband?

Podcast recommendation: On Being is back! I love this podcast for the meandering and thoughtful conversations. The first episode of the new season is a hilarious, wise, and touching conversation with theologian Kate Bowler who learned that she had cancer when she was 35 and wrote a book (or perhaps a couple) about it. As expected the conversation dissects on the idea of mortality and how lucky we are to be alive – “Ageing is an effing privilege,” she says at one point. And I loved the idea Bowler brings up about our 2pm/2am self – that the former is where we have it all together and the latter is the vulnerable, darker self who feels alone. This idea that there will be moments of every day where you feel like a completely different person, where your ability to deal with life completely evaporates. And that is okay. Because you are still you. It’s a little hard to describe why I loved this episode so much, but it was a perfect contemplative listen for a long walk. And Kate Bowler is so very, very funny too. I laughed out loud many times.

Other updates on my litany of complaints:
– I’ve booked dentist appointments with a pediatric dentist for the two littles, so hopefully that will get the ball rolling on taking care of their cavities.
– The Husband and I went to test drive a mini van. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that there will be a minivan in our family. It won’t be my main vehicle, but it will likely replace my 20 year old car. I will move over to driving the Husband’s current car and he will drive the mini van.
-still no progress on window treatments in the living room…

Grateful For:

-The now four year old for being such a bright spot in my life. She is such a happy ball of energy. Never one to shy from a challenge, she climbs playgrounds and cabinets fearlessly. She is independent and capable, yet quite agreeable. When she falls, she bounces right back up with a cheerful, “I’m okay!” She is always telling us, “I got this!” She is the child most likely to mischievously cause mayhem and mess, but also the child most likely to clean that mess up. I hope she carries that sense of adventure and responsibility into the rest of her life.

– Being able to shower with the kids at home. It hasn’t always been the case, but as I got in the shower one morning, I thought, “Wow, it’s nice to be able to disappear for fifteen or twenty minutes and not worry about someone hurting themselves or doing something irrevocable to the house.

– Kimchi. There have been many a time when I get home late at night and I’m hungry and I look in the fridge and pull out the bag of kimchi and whatever else might be in there. And the kimchi makes the whatever else taste amazing. I’m grateful for kimchi for being a pretty healthy thing to eat at 10:30pm at night and for being delicious.

Looking Forward to:

-My show. Last week, I started rehearsal for my next opera. It’s been lovely so far. Certainly there have been things to navigate, but overall it’s been a good process and I do actually look forward to going to rehearsals everyday.

– Instant Pot meals. Opera season means I’m gone many many evenings, so when I can, I like to make dinner in the morning for the family to eat when they get home in the afternoon. I borrowed several Instant Pot cookbooks from the library and am excited to explore them.

-This book:

I’ve been in kind of a reading slump lately – In September I started many many books but they all had to be returned before I could finish them. I’m not sure if it’s a time thing or a motivation thing. I started reading this book this week and I can’t wait to find time every day to read it. It’s about three women who, after years of living with the casual misogyny of everyday life, discover in middle age how powerful they really are. It’s a little magical and a lot angry. I’m sucked in.

What We Ate (The First half of October version):

Friday: Pizza and movie night. Captain America. Fun, shiny entertainment.

Saturday: Birthday party leftovers – pretzels, veggies adn hummus, chips and salsa, cookies, cake, charcuterie plate. All the tasty things.

Sunday: Snack dinner from Birthday party leftovers again. This was such a lazy day – we didn’t have afternoon activities, so we stayed home and watched A Knight’s Tale. I had seen the 2001 Heath Ledger movie in the theatre when it first came out and thought it would make a fun movie to watch with the kids. It is just as stylish and cheeky as I remember. Though, of course watching it twenty years later and with kids, I found myself wishing that the storyline with the father were more fleshed out. It’s so interesting to watch movies of my youth with older eyes and brain and heart.

Monday: Mac and cheese (from the blue box) and edemame.

Tuesday: Nachos. We had a lot of chips leftover from the birthday party, so we sprinkled some beans, cheese, peppers, and jalapenos on them and made a couple pans of nachos.

Wednesday: Eggplant curry. vegan. I had some yellow curry paste to use up. It was definitely spicier than I thought it would be. I ate leftovers all week, tucked into a wrap.

Thursday: I worked this night. The Husband and kids got wings for dinner.

Friday: pizza and movie. I think this was the night they watched the Lego Batman movie.

Saturday: Dumplings and green beans.

Sunday: Leftovers and toast. I want ot get back ot Sunday night being leftovers/clean out the fridge night.

Monday: Garlic-y pork in the Instant Pot. Recipe from Melissa Clark’s book Dinner in and Instant. Eaten with tortillas.

Tuesday: no clue. I don’t think I was home, so the Husband cooked.

Wednesday: Lentils and sweet potato in the Instant Pot from the Good Housekeeping IP cookbook. The family liked this much better than I thought they would and the leftovers were great taken for lunch in wraps later the week.

Thursday: Noodles and tofu, the Husband cooked.

Friday: Pizza and Lilo and Stich. (I was working) When the 11 year old was a toddler we tried to watch this movie, but she got really upset by the chaos caused by Stitch and we had to turn it off. Clearly chaos does not bother her anymore.

Saturday: Dumplings and Broccoli. There is a theme to our Saturday nights

Sunday: Tuna potato salad. Kitchen sink meal. I had some potatoes to used up, and canned tuna is an easy protein, so I combined a can of tuna, steamed potatoes, pickled onion, radishes, and green pepper together. Olive oil, a dash of Dijon mustard and lots of black pepper. It was a lot tastier than I thought it would have been twenty minute earlier when I was staring in despair at the fridge without a plan for dinner.

Monday: Eggplant with pickled raisins and mint from the cookbook Ruffage. The Husband cooked. He had picked up this gorgeous cookbook from the library and it has a lot of surprising ways to prepare vegetables.

Tuesday: Green beans sauteed with tomatoes and garlic. The Husband cooked. I think this was also from Ruffage.

Wednesday: Bahn mi sandwiches from our favorite Vietnamese place. My father was in town and he bought us dinner.

Thursday: Dinner out with a Friend. I had mussels and paprika cauliflower.

Friday: Pizza and Lilo and Stitch 2. I was working that evening – there was no comment about the movie, so I guess it was entertaining?

Weekly recap + what we ate: Summer week at home

It’s been a nice chill, but full weekend at home. Saturday it rained all day – we had had a pool party birthday party scheduled but that got moved to Sunday because of the rain. I ended up signing up the ten year old for a basketball clinic at the rec center called “Hoops and Scoops” which involved basketball drills and ice cream. It was run by the local police department and Dick’s Sporting Goods donated basketballs. While the Husband took the ten year old to the clinic, I took the five year old to buy new shoes. Then we went back to the rec center to watched the ten year old play and also browse some books at the Library and Used Bookstore attached to the rec center.

Today there were two birthday parties, one of which was at a pool. The five year old was really excited to check out this pool because it has more features than our pool. In fact, we used to take swim lessons at the pool before the pandemic since it was walking distance from our first house. After a pool filled afternoon, I came home to find the Husband has set up the kiddie pool and the toddler was playing in it – we had a relaxing hour of sitting on the back patio watching the kids splash while reading books and eating pretzels. While I love the riches of activities that summer brings, I also love moments of sitting in the sunshine with a book. (I’m currently reading Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell, and it’s is so devastatingly good. I’m not one to cry over a book but this one has me pretty close to tears.)

The other “must do” item on my weekend to do list was to have the kids clean out the car. We are three weeks into summer vacation, and between camp and swim lessons at one pool and swim team at another and playdates for the toddler, I feel like we are even more busy than during the school year. There has been a lot of time spent shuttling kids around in the car, and the expected detritus accumulating – socks and random articles of clothing from kids changing in moving vehicles so as not to be late for swim practice, wrappers from all the snacks because dinner won’t be for a while, random art projects and books and stuffed animals and the “just in case” rain coats, reusable grocery bags, all the nature things that the toddler insists on bringing home, masks… so many masks, receipts. The mess and clutter was getting to me, so inspired by Kae’s blog post on kids’ chores, I decided that since the kids helped me make the mess, they should help clean out the car. It took probably longer than it should have but really only took about an hour and a half, so it’s nice to have that barometer for myself the next time I feel overwhelmed by the idea of cleaning out the car. And even though we didn’t vacuum the car because the rain made running electricity a bad idea, I did have the kids wipe things down with baby wipes and do the crevices with a q-tip soaked in Dawn and vinegar. I have to say, it’s made getting in the car so much less stressful. I’m sure hedonistic adaptation will mean that the calm that my clean car induces will eventually become a baseline rather than a high, but I’m lgoing to try to remember to lean into it for now.

I think he liked sitting in the front seat!

Other things this week:

– Wednesday’s swim meet got rained out spectacularly. How ironic that at 5:30pm we were commenting about the heat and humidity and by 7:00pm, we were drenched and chilled by a dry cool air. They initially did not call off the meet because it was not thundering, but when it was raining so hard we couldn’t see the bottom of the pool, they held for a little while and a few minutes later we were back at it. The second time the heavens opened up, around 8:30p, though, it was decided that we were done for the evening even though there were three events still to race. Watching the clouds start to gather on the horizon, and seeing the rain streaming from those clouds a couple miles away was mesmerizing to me. The ten year old swam two of her three events, and managed to drop a bunch of time on her freestyle, so I was super happy for her about that. She placed second in that race, which was the highest she’s ever placed.

– This article in the New York Times about how some theatres are making systematic and fundamental changes in order to pay their staff a living wage. It hit particularly close this week as we are in the midst of union negotiations, of which I can’t say anything, even though it has been taking up a big chunk of my time and attention these days. Suffice to say, I love my job and I also understand the staggering attrition rate in my field of late. Also – I’m not on the substack bandwagon but I highly recommend this one for anyone interested in the inner workings of theatre – it’s brilliant combination of gossipy and insightful.

– Saturday, the rain let up enough for me to run – which I haven’t done since I was working and my parents were watching the baby. I only managed to run a half mile and walked the other mile, but it’s something and it felt really good to do it. In the evening, we went for a family evening walk and saw some lovely things:

The picture on the right is a kind of wood ear fungus. I normally get a little squeamish around fungus (more so in the wake of reading Mexican Gothic.), but this fungus practically looked like a flower.

– One day this week, I ran errands around town with the toddler and we missed lunch and it was hot, so I (of course) decided to treat myself to a boba tea. I discovered a new to me boba place that also served onigiri, the Japanese rice balls that are filled with a savory (or sweet, but I prefer savory) filling and wrapped in nori. I was really delighted to see they had onigiri because you don’t see it a lot and my attempts to make it have always failed. It was the perfect pit stop for a mid afternoon re-fuel.

– My other food related discovery this week, came via the tv show Younger, which I binged one night when the toddler would not go to bed except then proceeded to climb on my lap as I sat on the couch and she fell asleep. Younger is one of those shows I watch without the Husband – I love the soapy fluffiness about it and the very earnest people – there are no real villains here. Anyhow in one episode a character is asked the secret to her grilled cheese and she says that she uses mayonnaise instead of butter (which I think is a pretty common adaptation), but then… and here’s the best part… she sprinkles a layer of cheese on top of the mayo so that when the sandwich is put on the griddle, the cheese melts and cooks and creates a crispy cheesy crust on the sandwich. OMG. My mind was blown by the simple brilliance of how to improve a simple grilled cheese sandwich and I had to try it. It is pretty tasty. And really nice to look at too:

toddler lunch. Though I may have eaten some of that sandwich.

– A tool I’ve been constantly using lately – Photo editor:

With the kids in separate camps and swimming at separate times, I often don’t get a chance to talk daily after school logistics with the Husband. So I’ve taken to sending him a photo of important information sometimes. Like this week, I had made a smoothie for the 5 year old to have before swim and it was easier just to snap the picture and use the “Edit” feature to notate the picture so the Husband knows 1) where the swim bag is, and 2) where the 5 year old’s snack is. I’ve also taken pictures of marinating meat in the fridge so that know where to find it when he gets home. Picture worth a thousand words, indeed.

What we Ate:

Saturday: Pasta with red sauce and meatballs.

Sunday: can’t remember? Probably leftovers.

Monday: Fourth of July – grilled: Soy Ginger Salmon, Sausage, Corn, Shrimp, and Eggplant on the grill (to go into this salad), Watermelon and popsicles for dessert

Tuesday: Lemongrass Ginger Tofu and Sesame Edamame Udon noodles. The Husband bought me the latest Bad Manners Cookbook and everything I’ve made out of this vegan cookbook has been pretty good. Except the Zucchini Bundt Cake, but that was because I used waaaay too much squash and it ended up being too moist to bake even though it was in the oven for ninety minutes.

Wednesday: Swim meet – Leftover sausages from Monday.

Thursday: Korean Tacos from Dinner Illustrated. The ten year old calls this Buffalo Tacos because it is made with spicy gochujang.

Friday: Pizza (the Husband made) and Snoopy.

Saturday: Meatball Tortellini Soup made in the InstantPot since the meatballs were still frozen. I kind of just made this up, but it turned out really well – Sautéed diced onions and garlic in the Instant Pot, dump in frozen meatballs and brown them slightly, add the leftovers of a carton of chicken broth, a frozen cube of pesto, a can of low salt diced tomatoes, and then enough water to cover. Pressure cook on high for 7 minutes (actually was longer than that because I forgot to put the silicone ring in…. wump wump.) When finished cooking, quick release pressure, stir in frozen tortellini and pressure cook for 2 minutes on high.

Sunday: Leftovers for dinner. There was an article in the Washington Post recently about Fending for Dinner, and the New Yorker article that inspired the Post, which I thought delightful. I often fend for lunch and we usually do it once a week for dinner, this opening of the fridge and making a meal of the contents. We also call it “cleaning out the fridge dinner.” The New Yorker column had some great names for this kind of meal, one of my favorite being the Quebecoise term touski as in “tout ce qui reste” – all the is left.

Weekly recap + what we ate – Spring peeks in

In a final attempt to get a hike in for February, we took the kids to a local woodland sanctuary. Though when we got there, half of it was closed for restoration. Nonetheless, we did enjoy some lovely signs of spring and had a nice amble/romp through the part that was open. We also saw some interesting rough shelters. More and more we are letting the baby walk. She is usually good for about 45 minutes of walking, admittedly at her own pace, so we don’t necessarily get too far.

Last weekend I introduced the kids to the ten hour BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I had forgotten how much of the movie is Colin Firth staring broodingly, and how very little he actually speaks. And how swoonworthy I find that. Though I’m sure in real life such behaviour would actually frustrate me greatly. But I guess that what’s literature (and excellent adaptation of literature) is for.

sleeping baby, cuddling nine year old, and Colin Firth. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Last week, I had an opportunity to be a guest for an opera company’s Zoom workshop for children. I was asked to talk about stage management. Dusting off my stage manager’s brain after almost a year felt like revisiting an old friend. I pulled out my work tote bags and my SM kit to see what was there for potential show and tell. I seem to have misplaced my stopwatch and my drawing template. I also had to create some marked up score pages. I had, in a fit of cleaning last fall, thrown out a whole box of old scores that I had been keeping for who knows what reason. Those scores were almost twenty years old and I decided they were no longer serving me. Welp…. I’m still on the fence as to whether or not I regret tossing them – the inner wanna be purger felt quite liberated to have the space back. But then something like this comes along and the inner “keep it just in case”-er feels vindicated.

So I mourned a little and then got to work making a fake score page. There is something so soothing about placing calls in a score – the orderly calm of it, the rhythm of writing, and sticking…. I’m sure I used to take for granted the great satisfaction I get from putting post-its in the right place.

Initially I was a little nervous about the class because I feel like a lot of what we do as stage managers is more internal than demonstrative. It’s not the glamorous storytelling work of singers or dancers or designers. Do we tell stories? We certainly help create and communicate stories. In the end, we taught the kids about stage directions and taking blocking. And also how to say “Thank you, five!” I feel like though these are not creative skills, they are probably good life skills.

Art homework this week was bout the technique of frottage – basically making rubbings, very like what one did in elementary school with leaves and what not. I had hoped to get some outdoor samples for my rubbings – like leaves, or bark, or rocks or sidewalk – but the weather was quite wet all week. Instead I had to look for indoor objects of texture- which is not as obvious as one would think. It seems our current domestic life is one of smoothness and lack of texture. I became quite obsessed with finding items with words that made good rubbing projects. I went around the house touching all the words or lettering I found, to see if it would make a good frottage project. All the letter hunting inspired me to this drawing which I call “Alphabet Soup.” I think, if I were to do it again, I would add a spoon or some more objects of context.

I am trying to mentally prepare to send the nine year old back to school. There is a lot of information out there, but also so much is unknown.

Fun Sunshiny things:

I bought the nine year old one of those shirts with mermaid sequins – the kind where you can flip them back and forth and they change colours. The other day she was wearing her shirt and:

…. she became a human, late afternoon sun disco ball! This shirt and the nine year old’s discovery of the science of reflection – has brought many impromptu moments of sparkle.

Speaking of late afternoon sun and the nine year old, here is another moment of “resistance”. I feel like either it’s a statement about homework, or idly surfing while doing homework.

I put the baby on the tricycle this week for the first time. She seemed to love it. Both the tricycle and the helmet were from when the nine year old was a toddler, and now all three children have gotten use of them.

The four year old peeled a sweet potato all by himself for the first time. He was so proud of himself. I will say he’s been the most reluctant chore-doer of the kids. Even the baby loves to do chores. I read this article from NPR last week about children and chores, and the article talks about giving children three subtasks per hour – the idea being that these really small yet specific jobs helps to foster a sense of inclusion and responsibility. I think this might be the way to go with the four year old.

Pre-COVID I would sometimes go to the library and sit and read magazines for an hour or two. I love magazines. I love leafing through the glossy pages. I love the bite sized articles. I love the longer, more in depth articles. I love the shiny perfect pictures. I love information consumption. I love, let’s be honest, not having to pay for my own subscriptions and not having the paper clutter in the house. Needless to say leisurely magazine reading hasn’t happened for a while. So when I peeked into the Little Free Library by the park this week and saw a copy of Real Simple, I snatched it up. Never mind that it was four months old and talked about Thanksgiving. My brain kind of reacted as if the magazine was a Twix and I had been on a sugar fast. Immediately I pictured myself sitting in a comfy chair with a hot beverage, idly turning pages while planning meals and life organization tactics. This relaxing magazine reading with my cup of tea experience I’d envisioned has – surprise! – yet to happen. But there is a lot of hope invested in that magazine. If I can manage to keep the kids from hiding it.

One last message that appeared in my life this week, peeking at me from the edge of some fabric I was sewing into masks:

What We Ate:

Saturday- Sausage and grapes – the Husband cooked. This is one of my favorite dishes that I never remember to make.

Sunday- Steamed rice and veggies with Tofu from Milk Street Tuesday Nights

Monday- mushroom noodles from Milk Street Fast and Slow

Tuesday- Coconut cod curry and rice from Made in India

Wednesday- fennel and cannelloni bean soup from Milk Street Tuesday Nights.

Thursday- quinoa nori wraps from Mark Bittman’s Dinner for Everyone

Friday: pizza (with anchovies!) and Annie

Weekly Recap + what we ate: Thanksgiving week!

Pie research! That’s Cook’s Illustrated, Tartine, How To Cook Everything, Better Homes and Gardens, and King Arthur Flour Baking Companion

So much to catch up on! I had a little glitch with the website, so didn’t get to post for a while. But hopefully it’s all good now.

A while ago, we watched with much admiration as our six year old neighbor mowed the lawn while his father looked on. His father was pretty hands off, only stepping in a few times when the terrain was challenging.

Inspired by this, the Husband decided that the eight year old could also learn to mow the lawn. I’m so proud of both of them.

This week it seemed like we turned the corner of the season. After a fall of activities and random days off, we are about to enter December with -gasp- full weeks of school. It kind of feels like we have to rediscover a rhythm and routine for making full time school manageable again. These days, a lot of my schedule does revolve around the eight year old’s schedule because I want to be around for her while she is in class. Also with my drawing class over, the next seem a little blank with potential. It’s not quite a carte blanche because there are still bills to pay and the holidays to prepare for, so I guess it’s just a matter of figuring how these things will fill those currently blank calendar pages.

With three half days of school and pretty mild weather, we did make a point of several extended outdoor sessions. Tuesday we put our masks on and went to one of our favorite county playgrounds. They have giant slides and a sandbox with those digging machines. The three year old spent most of his time on the diggers while the eight year old played Zombie Apocalypse with some other kids she met there. The baby has discovered slides and she can go down them by herself. She determinedly climbs up the steps to the top of the slide, sits downs, then turns around so she is laying on her stomach, feet first. She then zooms to down, a joyful grin lighting up her face as she goes. Then she does it all over again.

Thanksgiving was different this year. We usually stay in town but celebrate with friends, and sometimes family if they are here. Last year my brother and sister-in-law and her parents were here. It was a wonerful combination of touristy adventures and homey family time. I usually make several dishes- usually a pie, a veggie, and a bread something. This year we spent the day by ourselves, and our oven is still broken, so it was a lot more low key than years past.

We did have a Zoom call with family – it was my brother’s birthday!- and it was nice to see my sister-in-law’s parents as well as my parents and my brother’s family.

Things we still did:

-Watched the Macy’s day parade. It definitely wasn’t the same, but kudos to the people working on it, making all the various segments come together so seamlessly. Ultimately it was the stuff that we remember as tv watchers- floats, balloons, musical numbers, friendly banter, Christmas ads.

-watched football while snacking

-baked a pie. I made a pumpkin pie. Every year I choose a recipe and then forget which one I used so then I can’t recreate it and am sent scouring the cookbooks to try to remember. So for the record- this year I made the recipe from Tartine with two egg yolks instead of one and fresh ginger. Also used rum instead of brandy because that was what we had, but I might skip the alcohol next time. But the texture of the custard was perfect. Pie crust from KAF baking book.

-squirts Reddi-Wip in our mouths. Very important tradition. The baby was initiated into this tradition this year. She definitely enjoyed it.

Friday we started putting up Christmas lights around the house. We have never really put up Christmas lights but the eight year old always asks and we thought this year… why not? We didn’t quite get finished, but we did get a good start.

Some other fun and cozy things this week:

– We got a pomegranate in our produce box this week. There is something so fascinatingly beautiful about the pomegranate experience – the deep red exterior, the jeweled interior, the care and work it takes to extract the pips even feels like an art. I feel like I’m still finding the ideal way to extract the seeds where I don’t make a mess or have to pick through tiny membrane fragments. But also – maybe this careful persistence is part of the pomegranate experience?

– Last year, I decided to finally learn how to knit. All the kids have hand made blankets that are much treasured, so I had decided to make one for the (about to be born) baby. I have long been a crocheter, but I wanted to learn to knit too. So I asked my friends for advice, looked at a bunch of online tutorials, bought some circular needles, went through my yarn stash and got started. And I did it! I somehow managed to figure out how to knit. By which I mean I just make rows and rows of plain knit stitch – often while sitting in front of the tv in the evenings, or on road trips (when we used to take those). I started almost a year and half ago, and the blanket just keeps growing. Having chosen a rather open ended pattern, I’m not quite sure when it will feel long enough or finished. But it’s gotten to the point that it’s become quite a cozy project as the blanket is now big enough to cover my legs as I work on it. It is full of imperfections, small gaps and uneven stitches – a first effort if ever there was one, for sure.

-The baby will now reach for my hand when we go for walks. This small, almost unconscious gesture of trust and attachment, the combination of her independent mobility and her need for closeness – it slays me sometimes.

What we ate:

Saturday: leftovers

Sunday: Shakshuka in the Instant Pot. I love Shakshuka, but haven’t been able to find a great recipe yet. Most recipes I find come out a little too tomatoe-y, and not the complex savory experience I’ve had in restaurants.

Monday: Banh mi Bowls, but with noodles rather than rice, and I did make some quick pickled veggies to go with it (carrots, cucumbers radishes splashed in rice wine vinegar and a sprinkle of salt and sugar). This recipe was shared with me by a friend as a way to use up some coconut aminos that I’ve had in my pantry for years. The bottle was left me by a friend who came into town for a gig as part of her “end of job” pantry pass along. When gigging one often has lots of random kitchen ingredients leftover when it’s time to go home, and it’s kind of a custom to leave a bag of stuff with colleagues who are local. I love this kind of thing – it has introduced me to many new ingredients. At any rate – these bowls were delicious and we are adding it to our rotation.

Tuesday: Farro Bowls w/ green beans and cannellini beans. Adapted from Dinner Illustrated.

Wednesday: Salmon tacos.

Thursday: root vegetable gratin and grilled chicken. Cranberry sauce, which the eight year old helped to make. Pumpkin pie for dessert.

Friday: Pizza and Opera Lafayette’s production of The Blacksmith, streamed online. Opera Lafayette is an opera company that performs baroque opera – I did a gig with them in 2019 and I adore them. It is a company of talented, kind, and resourceful people, and all of these traits were evident in this outdoor production of Philidor’s opera comique. Baroque opera is my catnip, but when you combine it with traditional tunes and a Wild West setting, the whole thing was irresistible. The way that the musicians performed baroque music with a traditional American twang and that they presented American songs with the elegance of Baroque music was brilliant. It really makes one realize how varied yet alike different musical genres are.