halloween – Life Off Headset

Hallowe’en 2024 – NaBloPoMo Day #6

Welp. It’s certainly disappointing, the election results. I have no words, just lots of sadness and a need to understand what drives the American people.

On to the post I had drafted before election results came in…

Hallowe’en was so mild here this year. Some years it is so chilly and the kids have to bundle up and you can’t see their costume. Not this year. It sooooo warm. I had brought a light hoodie to wear myself and didn’t need it at all.

The kids’ costumes this year were certainly a mix of things. I love making Hallowe’en costumes, and helping the kids put them together. I selfishly get a little sad when the kids just want to buy one. This year’s costumes weren’t super fancy, but I think the kids were pretty imaginative.

The twelve year old went as a “water fairy”. Not sure what that meant, but it involved lots of fabric and a blue dress. I had taken her to the thrift store to find a dress that we could alter, and we found a iridescent blue dress that would be a nice base. The plan was to attach layers of shimmery fabric and tulle to the dress. We went to the fabric store and got fabric and then picked up some light up wings from Party City.

Well, when we got home, the twelve year old tried on the dress and it actually looked really good on her. And it was also knee length. Do you know how hard it is to find a skirt or dress for a tween that isn’t super short? Also- we discovered that the blue dress has pocket! Can it be more perfect???!?!? At that point I decided this dress was too useful to turn into a Hallowe’en costume and I wasn’t about to ruin it by sewing tulle and shimmery blue fabric onto it.

So instead of sewing the fabric to the dress, I sewed the tulle onto bias tape to tie around her waist. I sewed the blue shimmery fabric into a kind of skirt, and the twelve year old just wore the fabric as an overskirt. Add the light up wings and some glitter make-up and the look was complete.

The seven year old had originally planned to go as Darth Vadar again. But when he heard me talking to the 12 year old about her costume he decided that he needed a new costume too. Well this was two weeks ago and I had told him the window had closed on submitting requests to mom for a Hallowe’en costume so we had to make so with what he had. The Husband suggested that he wear his bomber jacket and go as Tom Cruise in Top Gun. (Note: I have never actually seen Top Gun myself.). I ordered him some aviator glasses – which he lost within 15 minutes of trick or treating. White t-shirt and jeans and a bit of hair spray and he was all set. I tried to get him to give me a toothy Tom Cruise grin, but he went for cool stoic Tom Cruise instead.

The five year old basically pulled a bunch of stuff out of her dress up bin, put it all on and declared herself a princess. She wore a Moana headband that I had made four years ago for the oldest, a Snow White dress, wings we bought at the Ren Faire, a tutu that a friend gave the 12 yrar old. And underneath it all, she is wearing a skirt made of the same blue shimmery fabric as her older sister. Fun fact, the seven year old sewed the pocket for the elastic on the blue shimmery skirt. Ever since he started taking sewing classes, he’s been wanting to make his sister a dress – I guess this is a first step.

Our neighborhood is pretty quiet for Halloween so we always go trick or treating with friends at their place. They have a fun neighborhood to trick or treat in. A lot of people actually sit out in their driveway and wait for the kids to come by, which is nice because you don’t have to play the “The place is dark, should I ring the door bell?” game. One house even had a crockpot with hot apple cider, with optional rum on the side for the parents. The decorations in the neighborhood are pretty fun and amazing. They have a neighborhood Hallowe’en decorating contest, and our friends actually won “Best night time” for their display.

Here are two of my favorites:

i thought this one had really effective lighting:

This one is a little sad now, but I really appreciate it:

This one was my favorite. I think it won “Scariest Display.” The whole yard will filled with dolls. Sooooo creepy.

We trick or treated from about 6:00pm til 8:30pm then went back to our friends’ house for chicken wings and candy counting, sorting and trading. It’s really nice that our kids are of an age when they can hang out by themselves and the grown ups can talk.

I’m glad I didn’t have to work on Hallowe’en this year. Some nights we have tech over Hallowe’en. I wonder when the 12 year old will stop going trick or treating? She loves going, and I figure at the very least she can still go with her little brother and sister, so she’ll have a good excuse to go even when she’s probably aged out a little. Though I don’t know if she’ll get as much candy then.

What was your favorite Hallowe’en costume growing up? (If you did Hallowe’en). What age did you stop going trick or treating?

I’m writing this post as part of NaBloPoMo – click on the icon below to see who else if participating. You can also leave me questions for an upcoming “Ask me Anything” post via this link. Happy reading and writing everyone!

Weekly Recap + What we ate: Tech week and Opening Night

This weekend was opening night! Yay! We made it. It’s actually been a pretty chill tech week, a gazillion flights of stairs, notwithstanding. It helps that the show is short (100 minutes!) and there is only one set look, so no complicated scene shifts to have to co-ordinate backstage. I’m sure the show it plenty challenging for our lead soprano who is onstage for practically the whole show, however.

I spent much of my time at work this week lightwalking – which is when someone (usually the assistant stage managers) stands onstage while the lighting designer sets the lighting looks. You can read about lightwalking in a previous post of mine here. Lightwalking can be tedious, but I got some good reading done while standing under the lights. Currently reading these two books:

I’m a little on the fence about Dava Shastri’s Last Day – the ideas behind it are touching, but the execution is a little clunky. Lindy West’s book, is hilarious – I’ve been reading bits of it out loud to the Husband and sometimes I can’t continue because I’m laughing too hard.

On the home front, however, things felt kind of like a mess… I stayed up super late while the kids were gone and never seemed to get back into a good sleep routine. Every morning seemed like a struggle. In addition to the great effort it’s been taking to even just get out of bed, the ten year old also has signed up for a Novel Writing Club at school, as part of National Novel Writing Month, and the club meets twice a week at 8:15am. I’m really excited that she’s undertaking the club, but an 8:15am drop off makes for very choppy mornings. I have to get all three kids in the car at 8:10am, to be able to take the ten year old to writing club. After I drop her, I come home with the younger two kids and we have about 25 minutes before I have to do the school bus run for the middle kid. I’d like to find a way to make those 25 minutes feel like well used time, but I’m not sure quite what that would be yet. Do I want it to be time where I try to fit in a short yoga session? Or is it time to snuggle and read with the littles? Or time to get ahead with house chores? I think ideally I would love to spend that 25 minutes journaling since I’ve gotten a little out of that habit, but I find journaling hard with the two little kids around since they like to hang out with me when we are at home.

As always happens after opening night, I’m feeling a little disoriented, and feel like I need to find a little bit of focus to put life back in order – both our physical space since the house is a mess, and our non-physical things like paying the bills and dealing with small house projects. Tech week is always so intense and all consuming that I feel like I need a week to just sleep for days, but I also feel like that’s so self indulgent – I mean plenty of people hold down very intense jobs all the time without the reprieve of opening night. I think what I really need is to focus and think through some systems and routines to put in place now that my schedule has opened up, so that I can balance rest and things that fill up my cups and the adulting things that have to get done.

Anyhow, other things from this week:

– Hallowe’en is around the corner! I’ve been feeling a little unprepared for Hallowe’en this year. I didn’t carve a pumpkin, which makes me a little sad, but I think I’m the only one who really cares. We don’t actually get very many (or actually any) trick or treaters, so the decorative aspects of Halloween tend to fall by the wayside unless I really make an effort. And being in the thick of tech week, it just didn’t feel like a priority this year. Plus, I’m working Hallowe’en night, so I’m not feeling as motivated to be as involved as I usually like to be. I did manage to finish the ten year old’s Hallowe’en costume this weekend. Here’s a sneak peek:

Any guesses? All will be revealed after trick or treating! I’m a little sad to miss trick or treating with the kids, but the Husband has promised to take pictures.

-Rides home with my friend. I have a very good friend at work who lives two miles from me. She doesn’t always work the same hours as me, but lately, she’s texted me before work and asked if I wanted a ride home after work since she was working the same shift as me. So on those days I take the Metro in to work and then my friend gives me a ride home. I love this arrangement for two reasons: 1) Metro ride means time to read on my commute. Also it’s much cheaper to ride the Metro in to work than to pay for parking. and 2) Rides home are almost like date night with my friend. Since we both work for the opera, during the busy season we never get to have friend dates. Getting to ride home together has been so much fun – we chat and gossip and trade parenting stories and ideas. It’s been a highlight of my week.

– Trying to soak in the fall colours:

-More fall delights:

We don’t have trees in our backyard, so a big pile of fall leaves is quite a novelty to the kids. We were walking around our neighborhood this weekend, when the kids spotted a big pile of leaves, and instinctively they knew just what to do. After we moved into our current treeless house, I realized I don’t miss having to do leaf clean up every year – or rather the Husband is the one who does it – but I do miss having big pile of leaves to play in.

– One day this week – the serendipity of having the Wordle match the World:

-Office essentials for tech week:

The note, left for us by the stage managers of the opera that is performing on opposite nights as us, says “No Trains – but something calming and fun” and is in reference to the train set that we had set up in our rehearsal space office. And this little puzzle has indeed provided a nice brain shift in the midst of a very busy week. And of course, all the snacks – so essential.

– One day the afternoon bus was an hour late. Turns out the shortage of bus drivers is creating a situation where bus drivers have to drive more than one route, often returning to school to pick up kids between routes. There were definitely some very frustrated parents at the bus stop because there was a lack of forthcoming information. While waiting, I snapped this picture of the trees across the street, thinking, “Well at least I have pretty trees to look at!”

– Something touching:

On the nights when I don’t make it home until bedtime, there has been lately a toothbrush prepped for me when I get home. Apparently the baby insists on prepping me a toothbrush as she is doing toothbrushes for the other kids. I find it so sweet. Of course by the time I get home, the toothpaste has dried out and hardened a little bit, but I still use it anyway and feel immensely loved. Also it makes it so much harder to get mad at the toothpaste art all over the counter.

What we ate: I wasn’t home a lot this week for dinner, but we still managed a few good home-cooked meals.

Saturday: This was part of child free weekend, so I didn’t really have real meals. Funny how keeping the kids fed is the main motivation for regular meal times at out house. I cleaned out the fridge and at some probably questionable leftovers. Then supplemented with popcorn and a cherry coke at the movies

Sunday: I worked this night so I’m pretty sure I brought leftovers.

Monday: the Husband and kids came home while I was at work. The ten year old made mac n cheese from the blue box, and the Husband steamed some broccoli. I had leftovers at work.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday… I prepped Butternut squash and poblanos for the Husband. When he got home, he roasted them and mixed it with a can of black beans. They ate that with tortillas and guacamole. It’s the Sweet Potato Taco recipe from Dinner Illustrated, with butternut squash subbed for Sweet potatoe

Wednesday: i was home and we had Indonesian fried rice with Brussel Sprouts, steamed edamame and shrimp on the side. The fried rice is something that everyone groans when I tell them that’s for dinner, but then love it, Brussel sprouts and all. Along with the fried rice, I steamed some edamame and we also ate some leftover shrimp that the Husband had brought home from a fancy restaurant from Queens:

Shrimp in Queens. This is the picture from the restaurant where the Husband and the kids had dinner one night.

Thursday: the Husband brought the ten year old to the opera to see the final dress rehearsal of my show. They ate at the cafe at the theater. I made turkey meatballs in the Instant Pot for my dad to feed the two little kids that evening. These were the same meatballs that I had made last week, and at that time, I had also made a batch to put in the freezer for Future Me, which proved fortuitous.

Friday: Pizza and Hocus Pocus. I had never seen Hocus Pocus, and being as how Halloween is around the corner, I thought that it would be a good option for movie night. It was not at all what I expected; there wasn’t as much plot as I thought there would be.

Seasonal Fun lists, regrets, and Fall Aspirations

My first glimpse of Fall colour this year – at Mont Royal in Montreal in AUGUST!!!

Today is officially Fall!

Earlier this month, I was thinking about all the “Summer Fun Lists” I see around the internet and, conversely this article “Our Biggest Regrets from this Summer “ on Slate. I certainly did not do all the activities on my summer fun list, but I did a lot of them. As I watch the last rays of summer fade, I realized that while there are certainly things I did not get to, I don’t really regret not doing them. I think of my Summer List as a brain dump of all the possible fun things to do between mid-June and September, and I don’t have to do them all; I can chose things off the list that suit my mood and situation at any given time. There is no Bingo prize for checking all the boxes. Certainly there are things on the summer list that do require advance planning – travel, seeing friends, activities that require tickets – but many things do not. And being a planning resistant person, I find that it really helps me clarify my priorities to see what I’m willing to put in the effort to plan for or even do on a whim.

Take, for example, my monthly mom’s group happy hour. I’m the one who plans these for my mom’s group, and it usually goes on the calendar three weeks out. I very rarely plan things that far in advance. Of course there are things that go on the calendar that far out, but these are the immovable things that are set by others – swim meets, rehearsal and performance dates, summer camp, etc. My mom’s group happy hour is one of the rare things that I will actively make plans for – I send out a doodle poll for dates and venue suggestions, pick the date and venue, make reservations, tell my Husband so he can plan to be home with the kids that night. It seems like a lot of work, but I feel like mom’s group happy hour is a priority – I love seeing these moms and swapping stories about poop.

The things on my list that I decide to do last minute or the day before – it’s not really a question of priority – it’s just that I think the priority during the summer is to get out and enjoy the sunshine, so any one of a variety of activities will do. I feel so lucky that there are so many wonderful adventures to have near me that can be pulled off impulsively, so there will always be worthwhile and beautiful things to do. As Oliver Burkeman notes in 4000 Weeks – once one realizes the finite nature of life, one can let go of the infinite possibilities and focus on those things that one actually chooses to do.

Last year, we tried to complete the Maryland Ice Cream Trail, and were a little bummed not to get to all ten creameries on the list and vowed to complete it this year. But you know what? We only made it to two of the ten this year, and I’m fine with that. We still had tasty ice cream. Last year we went to three creameries in one day in our quest and that was arguably not a great move. A great memory, but still… regrettable in other ways.

Alright, now that I think of it, I do have one summer regret – I regret signing the ten year old up for County camp. She didn’t love it (apparently the kids were mean) and it was a bit of a schlep for me. Of course hindsight is 20/20 because she loved the camp last year – but this year, I guess it was a different group of kids. At any rate, now I know and I think next year, we will do fewer weeks of camp. Perhaps over winter break I will have her come up with a list of all the possible things she might be interested in doing and then.

I’m not saying there aren’t other things that I wish I had done more of or less of this summer, but I don’t think I had a summer to regret.

Having said all that, Here are some thoughts and aspirations for Fall, roughly (if not technically) between now and Thanksgiving.

Hallowe’en Costumes. I love making Hallowe’en costumes. Last year’s Millenium Falcon was certainly epic for me. This year, however, the two littles wanted to be something that was going to be far simpler to just buy. The ten year old, however, has a more creative idea in mind. I think she was a little disappointed that she couldn’t top her brother’s Millenium Falcon last year (but honestly, what could?). So this year she has an idea that will be a lot of fun and involves cardboard. Or maybe foam core. We’ll see.

Carve a Jack-o’-Lantern, or two or three. I love pumpkin carving. I’m actually working on Hallowe’en this year, so I’ll have to pre-game. Maybe I should also come up with an appropriate costume to wear backstge?

Another round of attic clean out. Finally work up the heart to get rid of the baby stuff.

Apple Picking. If not apple picking then at least apple sauce and apple pie.

Fall Camping. Given my lack of two day weekends this one is very very aspirational.

Hiking in fall colour. Hopefully once a month. By the looks of this fall foliage predicator, it seems like peak colour with happen in our area around the end of October. The Husband is taking the kids to New York to meet up with my parents that weekend, and since that is tech week, I won’t be going. However…. that means that I will have a day off my myself, so I think I will plan a hike on that free day. Or maybe even a bike ride. There are also lots of hikes and activities that our County Parks department sponsors. They always look really interesting and informative, so I want to see if any will fit in our schedule.

Celebrate the baby’s birthday. This is actually this weekend. I didn’t get it together to plan a party, but we have family in town and we will have cake and balloons (shhh… this last will be a surprise). And she got to pick her breakfast cereal at the grocery store this week, a tradition in our household. She picked Fruity Pebbles.

Go to the Theatre. This one is practically done. I have tickets for Hamilton this weekend, purchased four months ago. I never plan theatre (or anything, really) that far out in advance, but last spring I decided that I wanted to take the two older kids so I went ahead and bought the tickets. I did kick myself later because I didn’t double check my dates – it’s the baby’s birthday weekend plus the kids have Monday off school, so maybe we could have taken a bigger family adventure. Oh well.
Hamilton aside, there’s a lot of other really interesting theatre happening near us – this production of Beauty and the Beast looks to be unconventional and awesome.

Survive Tech Week. Keep practicing good habits and making sure I stay human and don’t become a theatre zombie during a tech process that I might be dreading a teeny tiny bit.

Fix the Storm Door. The glass on the storm door got broken by a child a few weeks ago. It’s a pretty old door so will need to be replaced, I think.

Make progress towards ordering window treatments for the living room. We’ve had a stop gap solution in place for a while since our curtain rod broke. It involves sheers and some too-small black panels. I would like to take a step or two towards having proper window treatments in place again.

Ziplining with the ten year old. I had planned on taking her this summer, but it was just too hot, so we put it off until Fall.

Cozy Kitchen Adventures. Who says Fall Adventures have to mean leaving the house? Fall is the start of “hunker and carbs” season. I do want to make something in my Bundt pan since my last attempt was such a wet goopy fail.

Watch some recent movies. Cooler weather means hunkering and watching movies is a good way to hunker. I’m not always able to stay awake for a full movie these days, but there are some that I really want to stay awake for. I am super excited by this adaptation of on of my favorite books as a child, Catherine Called Birdy. AND the ten year old has read this book, so we can watch it together. Also Fire Island has been on my Watchlist all summer. It’s a gay Asian re-telling of Pride and Prejudice, and all of that is just my catnip.

Happy Hour with my mom’s group. A lot of the parents in this group prefer outdoor meet ups so I definitely want to get a few more Happy Hours in before the weather gets too chilly.

Happy Hour with fellow Stage Managers. There has been a seismic shift in the stage management staff at work this past year and it’s made me realize that I really value the my co-workers as human beings, not just as people I work with. The thought of not seeing them at all this opera season makes me a little sad, so I would love to arrange something.

Free Days that are restorative and fulfilling. Given that I’m working every weekend between next week and the middle of November, I don’t know how many of the Fall weekend specific things I’ll manage to get to – things such as Fall Festivals and Special Fall Events. Since I generally only have one day off a week, I really want to guard that time and spend it on what matters. I’ve been thinking about this lately – how to spend my one precious free day. When I have chaotic and hectic free days, I don’t feel at all ready to go back to work. A good free day needs to be a good combination of life tasks and family tasks and personal tasks and leisure tasks and social time and rest. Which seems like a lot to ask of just one day. So maybe I need to pick three of those categories each free day, with rest always being one of the choices.

Weekend recap + good news Wednesday

No big adventures this weekend – just getting ready for Halloween and helping the nine year old with her Native American shelter project, watching Star Wars, and finishing season two of Ted Lasso. I really enjoy Ted Lasso, but so far each season has ended on kind of a mixed emotional note.

Saturday I also carved the second pumpkin. The four year old wanted it to look like our dog friend Max whom we were dog sitting that day.

I was up late finishing the baby’s Han Solo Costume. I had bought a white polo shirt and blue sweat pants. I added a red stripe to the sweatpants with red duct tape and then made a vest with lots of pockets out of an old t-shirt and boot covers out of black felt.

Halloween was on Sunday, and the kids went trick or treating for the first time in quite a while. In 2019 there was the threat of bad weather so they didn’t go, and last year there was no trick or treating because of COVID. I think this was the four year old’s first real experience of trick or treating. We went out with some friends because unfortunately our neighborhood is pretty quiet. The nine year old took off with her friends and I ended up with the four year old and the baby. Which was just as well because the baby was Han Solo, except the costume was a little obscure unless she was with the Millenium Falcon. And even then I’d say only four or five people knew who she was. She was quite a trooper and walked the whole hour we were out, only wanting to be carried for the last block. She was a little hesitant at first, but once she realized that there was candy involved, she was very much game to walk up to strangers.

Our friend’s neighborhood was a great place to go. Lots of houses were decorated and people sat out in front of their houses, so it was easy to tell who was giving out candy and which houses to skip. Most people also put the candy on a table, so you could go up and say hello, but still keep a distance. You could tell that the adults handing out the candy loved Halloween and seeing the different costumes. It was just a really nice atmosphere.

I was really happy with how the Millenium Falcon turned out and it got lots of attention. Several people said that it was the best costume of the night. That made me feel really happy. Also making me happy – the baby gets really excited about the Falcon and will point at it and say, “Bacca!” as in Chewbacca.

We trick or treated til about 6:45p – the weather stayed mild and the sky light for much longer than I thought it would. Afterwards, I sat and chatted with our friends for a little bit, while the kids ate candy then we went home to the Husband who stayed home on the off chance someone came by. No one did. The Husband was smart and didn’t open the candy, so I guess we can return it. Which is a little disappointing for me because he got this really cool mix with Reese Peanut Butter Cups, Twizzlers, Kit Kats and Sour Patch Kids. I love all those things and was really excited to see a mix that combined chocolate and candy.

We took the kids to two of our neighbor’s house because we had promised to . One of them are new to the neighborhood and I knew they would be disappointed to get no trick or treaters. It was nice to chat to and lament the lack of trick or treaters in our neighborhood. I think it’s just the nature of how our street is next to a really busy street, so not many people will cross the road to our house. Also there aren’t a lot of kids on our street. I hope that evolves and changes.

so sad no one came to see these jack o’lantern masterpieces.

Two things that made me teary with joy today:

Michelle Wu elected as Mayor of Boston. Growing up, I think I internalized the idea that Asians, particularly Asian women could do great things, but in roles of quiet support and service. I didn’t grow up seeing Asian women in leadership roles, particularly in one that might be considered politically radical. Representation matters. I don’t know if Michelle Wu will be a good mayor or not, but I do know that seeing her lead a major American city will help tear apart the model minority narrative and hopefully inspire other Asian girls to not just be support, but be leaders and the face of civic change. In many ways that big picture is just as important as the immediate one.

COVID vaccines approved for children 5-11 years old. I’ve been hunting for available appointments. The County released a bunch of appointments around 5:30pm, and they were already gone by 7pm. I know that all my kids will be vaccinated eventually, but I’m feeling somewhat compelled to sit at my computer trying to secure a vaccine appointments for the nine year old.

Weekly recap + what we ate: outdoor adventures

I’ve been inspired by the 1000 hours outside movement. At least for me and the baby. I don’t have as much control over the two older kids since they are at school for most of the day. I know they definitely don’t get outside as much as I want. I often rant that when I was their age (*eye roll, sigh*) we had recess twice a day, plus at lunch. The nine year old currently gets 30-45 minutes of outdoor time at school all day. And none if there is even a hint of moisture in the air. At any rate, I can do my best to make sure we get out during the weekends, and that they have the right clothing to brave the elements come colder weather.

This weekend, we managed two outdoor adventures. One was planned weeks in advance and the other was a rather impromptu affair.

The impromptu trip was prompted by a project the nine year old had for class. She had to build an indigenous dwelling. There was also an option to make a poster or design a pamphlet, but we regarded those options with scorn and declared that we would b building a model. I never had to do a diorama or such model when I was in school, but the Husband did. And, given that his father was an architect, the Husband actually did very little of his own building.

I’ve come to the conclusion that diorama and model assignments for fourth graders are really a long term learning experience so that forty years later they can build dioramas and models for their children. Yes, we may have co-opted her assignment a little.

Anyhow, Saturday morning, my husband did some googling and it turns out that there is a reproduction of an American Indian Village at Patuxent River Park, about an hour and a half from where we lived. So after soccer and dance lessons, we piled into the car and went on a spur of the moment jaunt. (With three kids, I feel like three hours advance planning counts as “spur of the moment.”). When we arrived, only one of the housing displays was still up, but luckily it was the shelter that the nine year old had planned to make anyway: a longhouse. After checking out the longhouse frame, we went on a forest ramble. The trail map indicated that the trail went to the water, but in reality, it went to an overlook of marshland with a very tree filled view. Once could catch sight of slivers of water between the branches. But it being fall, the foliage made the view pretty great anyway.

Slight view of the water, but still some neat moments of nature

The next day came the planned adventure: a family hike at a local park lead by a naturalist. The baby and I had gone on one of these hikes before, but this time the whole family came along. Only the baby fell asleep on the way there so the Husband stayed behind and went on a little ramble with her when she woke up an hour later.

Going on a hike with a park naturalist Katrina was really eye opening. I think it’s one thing to wander the woods on your own and do some forest bathing, but there is something really special about going with someone who will point out all the little details in nature that I would have missed otherwise. Like all the tiny variation of mushroom. And the sliver trail left by a slug on a leaf. And even though I’ve always let my kids climb on trees and fallen logs, there was something to not only having the park authority tell us it was okay, but even point out the best logs for climbing. She also, upon hearing of the nine year old’s longhouse project, pointed out what she thought would be the best tree bark to use and helped us gather some. And when the four year old started losing steam, Katrina pulled out a deck of nature games to play.

My third big outdoor adventure last week was going on a hike at the nearby nature center called “What’s that Tree?” For this hike, a naturalist taught us how to identify trees by looking at the location, bark, leaves, and buds. Looking at buds, I found really hard at first, but eventually I started to see how buds all grew in different patterns and angles. The nature center leads a winter Tree Identification hike which is all bark and buds, and I think I might sign up for that one; it sounds like a really great challenge. Even though this was billed as an adult hike, I put the baby in her carrier and brought her along. And the Husband even took the morning off work to come too… it was almost like at date! I think I can now identify a boxelder and an American hornbeam, two trees that I wasn’t even aware of before the hike.

The other big project this week was the Halloween costumes. The nine year old had a class Halloween party, so there was a bit of an earlier timeline for her Princess Leia on Hoth costume. Luckily everything arrived in time and then I made a braid on a headband for her to wear and also the badge. The badge was a print out from the internet modge podged onto a piece of cardboard and then attached to a magnetic name tag from a former job. I had a moment when I was trying to decide whether or not it was worth it to give up this name tag, this relic of a on of my favorite gigs, for my child’s Halloween costume. And then I realized I was being silly and putting too much pressure on a a little name tag so I covered it in hot glue and slapped the badge on it.

The Millenium Falcon was chipped away at a little every night. I feel like it kind of deserves its own post because it was kind of huge but also a lot of fun to make.

Good things this week:

-Promising vaccine news for the kids. (Even more promising by the time I hit “post” on this.)

-Rainy Friday. I feel like the weather is finally turning to cold and wet autumn after unseasonably warm temperatures so far. But I love the crisp cold nip of air, and the shiny sheen of a rainy day. I’m so glad I finally decided to get rainboots last year.

-Pumpkin #1 is carved. The nine year old designed a cat face. I always dread carving pumpkins because of the mess and the time it takes. But this only took half and hour and clean up was pretty easy. So maybe I’m getting better at the whole pumpkin thing. I do actually like the carving process, it’s just that thinking about it is worse that the actual doing.

Notice the baby doing the nine year old’s homework.

-The baby will not require speech services. Hooray! We had her re-assessed by the county’s Infants and Toddler’s program since she still wasn’t talking much at her two year appointment. To our surprise, she actually was not showing the required 25% delay to receive services. She’s more like 10% delayed Turns out, that while she doesn’t have a lot of words, the way in which she is using the few words that she has is actually on track for her age -things like matching picture and words with real objects, being able to answer “where” questions, being able to name people, consistently using the words that she does have, and being able to whisper, using words to represent actions. Her lowest scores, since she was assessed in a variety of developmental areas, was in soci0-emotional areas. But the therapists said this was not uncommon for babies who have had such limited interaction during the pandemic. I still feel like such developmental assessments are somewhat arbitrary and can cause undue concern, but it is good to know what boxes are being checked off. The therapists left us with some tips for helping to grow her vocabulary and went on their way.

-Apple pie from September’s apple picking adventure. And finally getting a pie server. No more awkward attempts to serve pie (or cake!) with a butter knife.

-Inspiring thought for the week – I was listening to the Life Kit episode featuring Oliver Burkman who wrote a book 4000 weeks: Time Management for Mortals. I really liked that his approach to time was so different from the manic ultra-high productivity that seems to be so common in time management writing today. One thing he said in this interview – a thought which he attributes to James Hollis – is that rather than asking if something makes you happy, ask yourself “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me.” He goes on to say how parenting rarely makes one happy, but that it certainly can fall in the “enlarge” category. I feel that in our current climate of almost radical self-care, the enlarge/diminish question is perhaps a truer way to answer questions of what is worth spending our time on.

What We Ate:
This was a fun week because the four year old planned the menu this week.

Saturday: Take Out Indian following out Patuxent River Park Adventure.

Sunday: Leftovers

Monday: Request from four year old was “Pasta”. I made Eggplant Pasta from the America’s Test Kitchen’s Bowls cookbook.

Tuesday: “Rice and Green Beans!” Clean out the veggie drawer stir fry. I think in addition to green beans there was bok choy, broccoli, red bell pepper, and I’m sure there was something else too.

Wednesday: “Chicken Soup!” Chicken Bok Choy soup. Pretty easy improvised recipe: boil chicken tenders in chicken stock, remove and shred. Throw mushrooms, carrots and sliced bock choy, soy sauce, garlic, sesame oil and star anise into chicken stock, boil until veggies are just tender, then throw in chicken dumplings and the shredded chicken and simmer until dumplings are done.

Thursday: The Husband make Spanish rice and black beans. (The request from the four year old was “Black beans with sprinkle”) He is trying to cook his way through the Betty Crocker’s Cooking Basics cookbook that he received in college.

Friday: Pizza and and failed attempt to watch Star Wars. Which might have been related to a failure to do chores. Sigh.

Weekly recap + what we ate: invention and solutions

Even though the kids have activities on the weekend, I’m trying to make the most of the activity-free time. For me, that’s a blend of family adventures, chores and unstructured time. Self care is a bit of a trendy thing these days, and I’m finding that chores actually do constitute self care for me. Knocking things off the looming to do list does more for my mental health, than, say, a massage. (That might be a little unfair because I’ve never really liked massages, but you get the point.)

Last weekend, I took the kids to the local farm park. They were having a “Fall on the Farm” festival. It was drizzly and wet, but we still managed to make corn husk dolls, learn about soap making, and listen to an old time string band. I was fascinated by the musician playing the jaws harp – such a little instrument… I wonder if there was a sense of futility in playing it in a large open barn. The soap demonstrator too was particularly fascinating. She was a scholar whose primary focus was on soap in the Colonial times and she had all sorts of knowledge and theories about soap, how it was manufactured and how it was used. We stopped for Rita’s frozen custard on the way home. “We always get ice cream when we go on adventures!” the nine year old insisted.

I’ve started on the Hallowe’en costumes. I love making Hallowe’en costumes. I’m going to admit that. I feel almost abashed about saying it because I feel like Hallowe’en costumes have become one of those rocks in the maternal mental load, particularly for working mothers. When I tell people I’m making the kids’ costumes, I get this look of wide eyed disbelief, like I’m trying too hard. But here’s the deal: I make them because I like making them. I like the puzzle and the engineering and the crafting something out of nothing. (See previous post about making rehearsal props out of cardboard.) There was a year or two when the nine year old only wanted purchased costumes from Costco and I was a little sad about that. So as long as my kids will let me, I will continue to make them costumes.

This year, the nine year old decided that everyone is going as a character from Star Wars. She chose Princess Leia. The Husband suggested Princess Leia from Hoth since that would be the easiest costume to source. He was right – white pants, shirt, puffy vest have been ordered. I’m making a yarn braid as well:

The four year old, when asked who he wanted to be, answered, “The Millenium Falcon.”

I told my friend this. “I see a lot of cardboard in your life,” she said.

Indeed:

The baby will be Han Solo, or she will just wear her R2D2 pjs, depending on what I have time for.

I took the car in for an oil change also. It was supposed to be one of those drop it off and come back affairs. But then I mentioned that the drive side headlight was out and could they look at it since I had replaced the bulb recently. I had had this issue before and when I took it too the dealer, they said they didn’t know what the problem was, so I almost didn’t mention it to my new mechanic. So he said he would take a look. The baby and I wandered the town where the mechanic was, we went to the park and the children’s library. We stopped at the fancy bakery and bought ham and cheese croissants and cookies. Then we went back to the mechanics. Well turns out, he had figured out the problem but needed to wait for the part to come in. I was so excited that he could fix the issue that I wasn’t at all annoyed that it would be another hour and a half. We wandered to the adult library three blocks over, sat in the garden and ate our croissants in the garden and then went inside to looked at more books.

It’s funny – what was originally supposed to be a two hour errand unexpectedly turned into a five hour errand, but despite that, it was a pretty good day. Libraries, parks, croissants and a wonderful mechanic – hard to go wrong there. I think, though, what really made the day feel decadent was that I luckily had the luxury of time. Certainly for many people, a two hour appointment morphing into a five hour appointment can really wreck havoc with one’s day. So perhaps it’s the silver lining of my current unpaid work status.

Other things to savor this week:

Full moon and hospital – as seen on one of our evening walks.

This inspirational and creative rock garden that we see on our neighborhood rambles.

Watching the baby grow by leaps and bounds

The baby helping to sweep, then actually picking up each individual Cheerio and placing it carefully in the dustpan.

This little creekside spot where we go to throw rocks when the playground is too wet with dew.

What We Ate:

Saturday: Dumplings.

Sunday: Leftovers.

Monday: Vegetarian Bibimbap. This was a “use up all the veggies” meal. I always think bibimbap is going to be complicated, but it’s always comes together much faster than I expece.

Tuesday: Shrimp and Pasta from America’s Test Kitchen’s Bowls cookbook.

Wednesday: Chickpea Noodle Soup from America’s Test Kitchen’s Vegan For Everyone. This was really tasty.

Thursday: The Husband cooke and he made fried chicken salad.

Friday: Pizza and some random sit com with puppies. It was the baby’s turn to “choose” the movie and I had started with All Dogs Go to Heaven, but then there was this awkward Asian caricature in it and I decided that we didn’t need to watch anymore of that movie.