movies – Life Off Headset

2024 Media Favorites

I try to track the media I consume – I like being able to look back on what went into my brain, and remember if I enjoyed it or not. I don’t have a very cohesive method of tracking, just random scribbles in my journal. I do make longer entries for live performances, though. Here are some things that I consumed that really stood out in 2024. I don’t know if these are my absolute favorites – I find I didn’t take really good notes last year, but these were things that stayed with me (I know these lists are usually posted in January or December even, but.. here you go…)

BOOKS
I read 59 books this year, mostly fiction. I think I’ve re-discovered that I like reading paper copies of books over ebooks. Certainly over reading books on my phone. I get distracted too easily when I read books on my phone.

I DNF books a lot. Not because I don’t like them, but because something more interesting comes along and other things fall to the wayside. I tend to “hate-read” books that I don’t like because I really want to see what happens. I should maybe let that go.

Favorite Reads 2024 :
Ministry of Time by Kalaine Bradley – Time travel isn’t usually my thing. But apparently if you mix time travel with a very attractive Victorian explorer, workplace politics, and political thriller and wrap that in a story that asks questions about what really is “progress”, I guess that ends up being my jam.

Landslide by Susan Conley – I loved this book set in Maine, about a mother of two teenage boys in trying to cope when her husband is injured in a fishing accident off the coast of Nova Scotia. It’s the kind of book that quietly pierces to the core of the beauty and heartbreak of every day life.

Green Island by Shawna Yang Ryan – This book – about Taiwan under martial law, about being an immigrant in America, about how a family deals with trauma and hardship – this book felt very deeply personal to me. These were the times that my parents lived in.

The Adventures of Amina el-Sarifi – Middle aged female pirate gathering a team together to carry out one last heist while battling magical creatures. There is a lot of that description that isn’t my usual jam, but 40 year old bad ass heroines certainly are.

Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions to Adulthood by Lisa Damour – Forget that cringey title, this books was super insightful for me in thinking about how to relate to my tween.

Audiobooks:
The Monsters We Defy by Lesley Penelope read by Shyana Small – I loved this audiobook so much that I borrowed the e-book from the library to read it again. I’m not one into fantasy, but the historical aspects set in 1920s DC provided a good gateway for me to sink into this story.

Ten Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hal, read by Will Watt – I really enjoy Alexis Hall’s books for their mix of humor and quirky yet human characters. Will Watt’s narration of this book upped that all for me. This cozy rom com of a book was like my favorite Richard Curtis movie in audiobook form.

PODCASTS:
I’d say next to books podcasts are the media I consume most. I tend to like podcasts that are long conversations about the human condition, or deep dives into something super niche. I do also listen to a lot of parenting podcasts.

House Calls with Vivek Murthy – I am so sad that Murthy, who was Surgeon General under Obama and Biden, will no longer be producing this podcast, what with him losing his job and all. When I think of podcasts that dissect the essence of what makes us human and how we connect to each other, this podcast is right there. I loved his interview with astronaut Kayla Barron – it’s probably my single most favorite podcast episode this year. In addition to the fascinating details on how one becomes and astronaut, Barron has so many wise words to say about life on earth. I had previously mentioned that she frames the ordinary with the extraordinary. (Fixing the treadmil… in space!) She also said something that has stuck with me about building diverse teams, and that is it’s not about diversity for the sake of diversity, it’s about bringing diversity of thought to a project. That’s so important to remember in the current anti-DEI times. Murthy’s interview with poet Ada Limon is also fantastic – it gave me a lot to think about how I spend my days. You’re going to have to find this podcast on your player because it is no longer available on the Health and Human Services website. wump wump.

Sold a Story: This series actually came out in 2022, though I found it still really relevant. It’s an investigative journalism series that looks at how children are being taught to read in America, specifically how a method that had no scientific backing was being used throughout schools.

Nice White Parents: A 5 episode podcast from 2020 that looks at how parents can shape public schools, and not necessarily for the benefit of everyone.

This is So Awkward – Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett are the experts I turn to when I feel like I’m failing at parenting a tween (now teenager). They provide the perfect blend of science and compassion for navigating this stage of parenting.

28-ish Days Later – podcast from the BBC that looks at the menstural cycle from both a biological and historical perspective. I especially appreciated the sentiment that our periods don’t make women weaker – after all what is stronger than being able to deal with having a different body every single day as we cycle though physical and emotional states?

MOVIES: I think I went to see two, maybe three, movies in the theatre last year. We watch movies at home, but mostly for family movie night. I find I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for watching movies on my own. As a result, most of our movie watching is not at all current.

Babes – My friend and I went to a midweek matinee of this movie last spring, when things were kind of slow at work. We laughed so so so hard at this movie. It stars Ilana Glazer and Michelle Buteau in a story about two best friends whose relationship is tested when the perpetually single one accidentally becomes pregnant. There are pregnancy jokes, pumping jokes, parenting jokes, BFF jokes… All of which fell in the “funny because it’s true” category. Was the movie stunningly original? Probably not, but that doesn’t make it any less wonderful. Why haven’t more people seen this movie????

Family Movie Night: Pizza and movie night is a staple at our place. Usually on a Friday night or a Saturday night. Some of our (MY) favorites this year that we watched with the kids (who were 12, 7, and 4):
-Night at the Museum – action and excitement
-Next Goal Wins – heartwarming soccer movie. Also Michael Fassbender is dreamy.
-Greatest Showman – we watch this at least twice a year, singing along loudly
-Barbie – subversive bubble gum fun, that had me in tears at the end.
-Mitchells vs. the Machines – Animated movies aren’t my default pick for movie night – I’m trying to watch more live action things. But this movie was delightful and heart-warming.

TELEVISION
Family TV Night: This year we really leaned into family TV night rather than family movie night. What with everyone’s activities, a 30 or 60 minute episode of something was just the right length to fit in between basketball practice and bedtime. Favorite shows we watched:
-Gallivant. WHY WHY WHY was there only two seasons of this family friendly, funny, entertaining show?
-Glee. Some of the subject matter was awkward to explain, but the musical numbers had us all bobbing along.
-Bad Batch, The Acolyte, and really anything in the Star Wars Universe. When we don’t know what to watch, Star Wars
-Star Trek: The Next Generation. When we were vacationing on an Island in Maine, we watched ST:TNG non stop for three days. It didn’t feel as dated as I thought it would.
-The Summer Olympics. So exciting to watch.
-Bluey. I don’t know why it took us this long to get into Bluey. The episodes are short and feel so true to life, perfect way to unwind before bedtime. (Like the one where the kids drop their ice cream cone and declare to dad, “It’s not fair!” and Dad says, “That’s about as fair as it gets, actually.” Made me howl with laughter.)
-Brooklyn 99 and Modern Family. When we just want to spend 22 minutes laughing.

Grown Up Show for Me: I don’t watch a whole lot of TV – mostly because I often would rather read a book at night to wind down. But I do like watching TV as I clean the kitchen, and occasionally I’ll watch something with the Husband. I for sure don’t watch all the shows that are hip or trendy or buzzy. To be honest, I feel like a lot of the stuff that everyone is watching is too violent or gritty or serious or sad for me. Like I’ll scroll through Hulu and every show seems to feature people glaring and sullen. When I do watch something, it’s usually a half hour comedy. We don’t have Netflix, but we do have Hulu, Disney, Max, Peacock, and Prime. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out by not having Netflix, but I figure there will always be something to watch on the services that we do have, so my sense of FOMO is kind of unnecessary. Some of my favorite shows I watched in 2024:

-Starstruck (Max)- So funny and sweet and relatable, this show is about Jess who has a one night stand with a huge movie star and the fall out from that. I don’t usually like protagonists who are screw ups, but there is something so fresh and honest about Jess that I ended up loving her. I’m half way through the last season and I can’t bring myself to finish watching it because I don’t want it to end.

-Sort Of (Max)- Gender fluid Sabi navigates the dynamics within their Pakistani family and their job as a nanny. This is a show about learning to accept yourself and those around you.

-Acapulco (Apple) – Cute show, told in flashbacks, about young Maximo who starts out as a pool boy at a luxury Mexican resort and rises through the ranks. I like this show for it’s feel-good, sunny humour and the 80s playlists.

-English Teacher (FX/Hulu) – Really funny and sharp comedy about a gay teacher in Austin trying to fight the system and sometimes giving up.

LIVE PERFORMANCES
High School/Middle School Musicals. I didn’t do theatre in middle school or high school. (Shocking, I know, considering it’s now what I do for my job.), so I didn’t really grow up going to school plays. Turns out the high schools in our area do really great shows. This year we saw Beauty and the Beast and A Year with Frog and Toad at the high school as well as middle school productions of Annie and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They were all delightful. There is something special about going to see a show where you know the kids onstage and where you’ll run into people you know in the audience, a show where things probably won’t be perfect, but everyone is having a once in a life time experience. The high school is doing Secret Garden this spring – I CAN’T WAIT!!!

Silent Night – is this cheating if it’s a show I worked on myself?. I love this opera so much. The music, the story, the bagpipes. I feel so lucky that I got to work on it again this year, and that I got to hear this exquisite score played over the course of four performances.

The Play That Goes Wrong – I think sometimes we go to the theatre to be moved to tears. I know certainly that’s true for opera – we want to see the soprano die and everyone to be devastated. But this play, about an amateur production of a murder mystery where everything goes wrong, made me laugh and laugh and laugh so hard. From identifying with the Stage Manager who loses track of the place and forgets to run a sound cue, to the actors forgetting their lines, to the doorknobs that keep falling off the set. This was an exquisitely timed masterpiece of comedy. Some of the technical aspects were amazing.

ART and MUSEUMS
Mary Cassatt at the Philadelphia Museum of Art – I’ve always been a fan of Cassatt’s art, and this exhibit was a wonderful exploration of her process.

National Museum of Taiwan History in Tainan – My cousin recommended this museum to us, and I’m really glad we made time to go while we were in Taiwan. It was a really well laid out and comprehensive look at Taiwan from it’s early days as a trading port through all the various states of occupation, to present day history.

Museum of Islamic Art in Kuala Lumpur – Stunning art and fascinating history. It was eye opening to see the intersection of Muslim and Asian cultures.

Lobster Museum in Swann’s Island, Maine – Okay so this was basically some guy’s attic collection of lobster men memorabilia that the town decided to put into a building, but I loved it.

Dorothea Lange: Seeing People at the National Gallery of Art – The title says it all – haunting portraits taken by Lange throughout the years. Some well known and iconic, and some that were new to me. The pictures taken in Japanese internment camps were especially poignant.

Pattens and Paradox: The Quilts of Amish Women at the American Art Museum – I learned so much about the art of quilts from this exhibit, which also make me think about the women who made quilts and the intersection between art and functionality and folk art and high art.

MUSIC – Looking at this list, I’m realizing one thing that’s missing is music. I don’t listen to a lot of music in a curated way. That is to say I don’t tend to listen to specific artists or albums. If I want to listen to something I’ll often just listen to the radio and see what serendiptiy brings, or I’ll type some inspirational words, like “Happy dinner” or “Bluegrass excercise” into Spotify or Apple Music and see what play lists come up. I think this is partly because I am surrounded by music at work, so music isn’t the first thing I turn to in my liesure time. Even still I do get a lot of enjoyment from music. This year, I re-discovered the joy of big romantic sweeping musicals (Scarlet Pimpernel, Titanic, etc.), and of just listening to the classical music station when I needed to decompress. As a family we listen to a lot of Disney songs and musicals (SIX is a favorite), and whatever the husband has playing on Pandora (his mix is pretty eclectic, but always has a strong beat and a good tune). Do I feel like I need to change my music habits? Not really. I do feel like I’m out of the pop culture loop, but hey I can’t keep up with everything.

That’s it for my 2024 Media favorites. What about you? Any favorite books/podcasts/movies/tv shows/music/art/ etc. that you discovered in 2024? What music do you recommend for me?
Any goals and aspirations for your media consumption in 2025?

Holiday/ Christmas Movies 2022 – Part 2

Christmas was a month ago, but never too late to finish up the rundown of the Christmas movies I watched in 2022. And there were a lot of them…

Last Christmas – Okay, this sounds like it’s a Hallmark movie, but it isn’t a Hallmark movie. Emilia Clarke plays Kate, a down on her luck aspiring actor who works as an elf in a London Christmas store. She couch surfs, insults her friends, is vile to her mother and family, and basically is kind of an awful person, but awful in an adorable-there-must-be-more-to-the-story kind of way. When life seems like it couldn’t get any worse, Tom (played by the super dreamy Harry Golding) comes into her life and charms her into becoming a better person by showing her how to enjoy life. There is also Emma Thompson who plays Kate’s mother, doing hilarious and touching Emma Thompson things. This movie ripped my heart out. I loved it so much. Big feelings, big reveal (which you could probably figure out by just watching the trailer), and absolutely has its heart on its sleeve. I would watch it every year, but I don’t want to cry so much at Christmas.

Santa Camp – This documentary is about a camp in New Hampshire that trains Santas, and addresses the question of “Who gets to be Santa?” Clearly Santa has historically had some diversity issues, and Santa Camp decides to tackle those head on by admitting a Black Santa, a Santa in a wheelchair, and a transgender Santa. It’s an interesting and moving look into an American subculture but also into why representation is important.

Hip Hop Nutcracker – This was an adaptation of a stage show, filmed for Disney+. It was fun to hear Tchaikovsky’s score being tweeked and re-imagined, and seeing the variety of dance styles, but ultimately, as I usually find with filmed adaptation of stage productions, I just wanted to see it onstage. I felt like all the fancy camera work detracted from the dancing and I couldn’t really get a sense of what the bodies were doing. It was short, at least.

We also watched It’s A Wonderful Life and Meet Me in St. Louis, but those are such classics that I don’t know that I have anything to say about them. Plus, I slept through Meet Me In St. Louis, so I really don’t have much to say about that one.

On to the Hallmark stuff. And again, these aren’t all strictly Hallmark movies.

The First Noelle – Noelle’s ex-boyfriend comes back to town for Christmas, bringing his new girlfriend with him. She also happens to be named Noelle. Plus she’s super nice.
My Catnip: BIPOC leads – (this movie was on BET), best friends to lovers (I prefer when the leads don’t spend too much time getting on each other’s nerves)
The ridiculous: Like most Hallmark movies, I wonder “Is this really how [insert industry] works?” In this case, it was publishing.
My favorite parts: Spoiler Alert – I really liked how Noelle didn’t end up with the guy at the end. There was a hint of a romance to start, but not a big happy ever after ending. Well, not a romance based happy ever after. I know the point of these holiday movies is romance, but I actually thought the personal journey Noelle goes on in this movie made for a really great story arc.

Three Wise Men and a Baby– Three brothers end up having to take care of an abandoned baby just before the holidays.
My Catnip: Cute brothers, babies, Cute Men with babies
The ridiculous: I know that this is a Hallmark movie, but the attempts at romantic matchmaking for each of the brothers just felt… superfluous. Who needs romance when you have three clueless men trying to put together a baby swing? Also – one of the brothers is a pet psychologist. Is that really a thing? (Well, I did have a cat once that was on Prozac, so maybe?) Also – it’s always really distracting to me when supposedly newborn babies look like they weigh at least fifteen pounds.
My favorite part: Watching the brother’s struggle with a baby. That zombie “It won’t stop crying” look on their faces… I’ve been there. This movie was actually a lot of run. Would watch again.

Jingle Bell Bride – A Wedding Planner to the stars flies all the way to Alaska in search of a specific flower for her client, only to get stuck there in the company of the very handsome nephew of the lady who grows the flowers.
My Catnip: Interracial relationships. Alaska. Cute kids. Only there wasn’t cute kids – I had read the blurb wrong.
The ridiculous: Do people really wander around outside in Alaska in December wearing just a sweater? I swear no one in this movie looked even remotely chilly.
My favorite part: This movie was pretty… just okay. It wasn’t terrible, there wasn’t any stand out moments. Kind of the apex of average in the genre. To be honest, I wanted to watch it because there were so few movies that featured a BIPOC male in the lead opposite a white female and this was one of the few movies I found which was the case. It’s always a BIPOC female and a white male, for whatever colonialist casting subtextual reason. (Am I reading too much into that? Maybe? Probably not.)

Something from Tiffany’s – A mix up leads to Rachel’s boyfriend giving her an engagement ring that was actually meant for Ethan’s girlfriend.
My Catnip – interracial romances, baking
The Ridiculous: The bad boyfriend. Is really bad. Like appallingly, “why are you still with him” bad.
My Favorite Part: Rachel is a baker. There is some serious bread porn in this movie. I want all the carbs. Also – I thought it kind of great that the heroine is also Jewish, so it’s a Christmas move, but not really. Also Zoey Deutch who plays Rachel is adorable in this movie. I didn’t realize until afterwards that she is the daughter of Leah Thompson (of Back to the Future). And now that I know that, I can’t unsee it.

The Ghost of Christmas Always: The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future are sent to haunt a grocery chain executive with a heart of gold, a man whom the Ghost of Christmas Present (Katherine) just might have a connection to and with.
My catnip: Christmas Carol spin off, period movies, really nice, decent guys.
The ridiculous: I guess being visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future is always going to be a little ridiculous. But that was the whole premise of the movie.
My favorite part: One of my favorite bits is when Katherine who is from the 1940s is supposed to step into the present and she magically changes from her period looking wool coat and beret into … another wool coat and beret. It was just kind of funny to me how timeless a wool coat and beret is. Her hair did go from period curls to a blunt bob, though, in case we couldn’t figure out that she was supposed to pass for a lady of the 21st century. I liked this movie a whole lot – it’s probably one of my favorites this year. The chemistry between the two leads was great and the movie was so full of whimsy and humor and made me laugh out loud. I thought it a better take on the Christmas Carol trope than Spirited.

Noel Next Door – Single mom and waitress Noel starts exchanging angry notes with her neighbor whom she feels is terrorizing her kid, at the same time, she strikes up a relationship with divorced composer Jeremy, a customer at her diner. Guess what? They’re the same man!
My catnip: grumpy men, single moms
The ridiculous: People! stop leaving passive aggressive notes for your neighbor and just go meet them! Movie over.
My Favorite Part: It’s always fun to see the classical music world portrayed on screen, even if it is wildly different from real life. Also, there was sweet chemistry between Noel and Jeremy.

A Hollywood Christmas. A director who specializes in making Christmas rom coms finds the studio has sent a studio executive to her set to trim the budget.
My catnip: behind the scenes of movie making, Asian leads
The Ridiculous: The guy who shows up to play Santa says, “I had to park my reindeer.” Also, after having their budget cut and not being able to hire any musicians for the big final scene, a bunch of the crew members happen to play instruments and are roped into playing for the final scene. That would never ever happen, given union rules and what have you.
My favorite part: The behind the scenes, ultra-meta effect of watching a Christmas movie being filmed as the back drop for a Christmas movie. Like who knew all those cozy sweaters were just dickies worn underneath winter coats?!?And the bit where the director says, “We don’t need sound for this scene, it’s just for the montage.” And then there follows… a montage of said director pining as she continues filming her movie. This movie was pretty fun, actually.

Santa Bootcamp: Party Planner needing to find the perfect Santa for a high profile gig, goes to Santa Camp to poach the best talent.
My catnip: Stars of yesteryear (Rita Moreno)
The Ridiculous: Typical Rom Com movie time line where a bunch of people are convinced to put up a huge gala/Christmas party with practically no notice. Also… (spoiler alert) there is a flying car in the last scene. Also there was very little chemistry between the leads here.
My Favorite Part: I liked how the lead’s mother was deaf and signing was a pretty casual part of the story. But otherwise, I thought this movie was pretty flat and heavy handed at the same time. To be fair, heavy handed-ness is pretty much par for the course, but this one was moreso than most.

Lights, Camera, Christmas! When a movie shooting in her small town loses it’s costume designer, Kerry a boutique owner with dashed fashion aspirations, is tapped to fill in.
My Catnip: movies about movie making, fashion
The Ridiculous: Do people just randomly hire a boutique owner to costume a film? With no experience? And was there really no one else available for the gig? One thing about the entertainment industry, I know, is that there is always someone available. You just have to pay them enough.
My Favorite Bit: I always like “behind the scenes” type movies. I thought the Movie they were shooting “My Favorite Santa” was just the right blend of ridiculous and plausible. And there were not one, but two budding romances to follow in this movie – I actually liked the secondary “second chance” romance between the producer and the director better than the main one – the main couple had some nice chemistry, but not a lot of emotional investment.

Well, that’s it for the Christmas movie recaps. (Not that I’ve stopped watching them… I sneak a few in throughout the year.) Until next Thanksgiving, then…

Christmas Movie List 2022

We have a tradition in December of spending many evenings (and some lazy afternoons) watching Christmas movies. A couple weeks ago, we sat down and brainstormed all our favorite and “wanna watch” Christmas movies. Here’s what is on my list:

(Oh also – I would call this list very aspirational. It’s more like the menu so we remember what’s out there.)

Classic Films. As in TMC old.
– Meet Me in St. Louis
– It’s a Wonderful Life
– White Christmas
– Charlie Brown Christmas
– A Christmas Carol (pick a version.)

Classic Films. As in from our younger days.
– Elf
– Home Alone
– Polar Express
– Muppet Christmas Carol

Movies the Husband says aren’t Christmas Movies, but which I disagree
– Little Women (I like the 1996 version, but the 2019 one was very good too.)
– While You Were Sleeping
– The Holiday
-Bridget Jone’s Diary.
okay, maybe this category is mostly Christmas as an excuse to watch rom-coms.

The More Recent Stuff That We Loved
– 8 Bit Christmas (we watched this last year and we like it even better than the original Christmas Story)
– Spirited (We actually just watched this last weekend)
– Frozen (We saw this at the symphony already this year already so maybe not for home viewing this year)
– The Little Prince (Rachel Portman’s opera version. I worked on this opera twice and it’s one of my favorite operas. Here’s an excerpt from a music video that was made of the opera. Fun fact – we have a version of the rose costume in the video. The Opera where I work every so often has a costume sale where they get sell costumes they won’t use anymore, and they had an extra rose costume, so I bought it for my oldest kid.)
– Any Hallmark Christmas movie. I like ones where the hero and heroine like each other from the beginning so we don’t waste too much time being enemies and can just get to the romantic bits and holiday fun parts.

Not Child Friendly (aka, watch when kids are in bed)
-Die Hard
-Love Actually
-National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (I haven’t seen this, but the Husband assures me the kids aren’t ready for this yet.)
-Joyeaux Noel (Not child friendly because it isn’t in English. It’s about a Christmas Day truce during WWI. I worked on a great opera based on this movie.)
-Twas the Fight Before Christmas (Documentary about a man whose Christmas light display gets out of hand…)

Films we haven’t seen yet, but which are on all the Christmas Movie Lists
– The Santa Clause
– The Shop around the Corner/ You’ve Got Mail (I love the musical She Loves Me which has the same story)
– Nightmare before Christmas (Yes… I really have yet to see this movie)
– The Man Who Invented Christmas (Dan Stevens as Charles Dickens!)
– Gremlins (I haven’t seen this, but the Husband has)
– The Preacher’s Wife/ The Bishop’s Wife
– Bad Santa (this might be a “after the kids are in bed” one)
– Noelle (Looks cute – Anna Kendrick as Santa’s daughter, itching for a chance to prove herself)
-Last Christmas (Henry Golding! Enough said.)
-Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (It’s billed as a musical fantasy. I’m all about musical Christmas movies.)
-Arthur Christmas (Animated movie – looks really cute.)
-Christmas in Connecticut (1945 Barbara Stanwyck movie.)

2022 Movies that Look Fun!
-Hip Hop Nutcracker
-The Royal Nanny (Hallmark – Royal and Nanny usually piques my interest.)
-Christmas With You (Freddie Prinze Jr is now playing the hot dad. Of course.)
– Santa Camp (Documentary)
– Christmas at the Golden Dragon and A Big Fat Family Christmas (Christmas movies centered on stories of Asian families/characters. Wow. Yay for representation. My brother once made a comment about how Crazy Rich Asians was a very mediocre move (he’s wrong), but I said to him, “I feel like Asian people deserve to be in bad cliched rom coms as much as white people do.” Wish fulfilled.)
– A Christmas Spark (OMG!!!! Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman reunion – this one features Jane Seymour and Joe Lando as a widow ans the town’s hottest dad. Must watch!!!!)
-Violent Night (Santa as a bad ass crime fighting hero. This one actually looks a bit violent for me, but I looooove the premise.)

What else should I put on my list????

Child-free weekend – what makes good “me” time?

The Husband and the kids left on Friday and came back Monday night. Since I was working Monday night, that meant four whole days child free for me. Wow. I don’t think I’ve had that much child-free time since the days when I used to travel for work. Anyhow, it was a really relaxing and quiet four days. I slept late, had breakfast out on the back patio, wore my pajamas all day practically, spent too much time scrolling idly… I did work all day Friday, had Saturday off, then worked Sunday evening and Monday afternoon and evening/night. And in between – I think I did pretty well on my aspirations:

– ~~Wash my bras.~~ Done! and they fit much better now. But I still do need new bras… I should look into if the company that makes these favorite nursing bras also make a non-nursing option.
– ~~Pick up the house.~~ Done! Mostly. and, it was infinitely less stressful for me to do it by myself than to monitor while my kids did it. I just put on a podcast or streamed some This is Us and tidied. It almost felt like enjoyable puttering rather than manic cleaning because it felt so relaxed.
– ~~a yoga or a gentle strength workout video.~~ Yes. Thank you Fitness Blender!
– ten year old’s Halloween costume. Perpetual October task. Still not done. This need serious attention. Halloween is in less than a week!!!!
–~~put oil in my car.~~ Done! This took all of five minutes, but I hate doing it while the car is still warm from driving, and I never remember to do it until I’m actually driving my car. One of those super simple things that needs to be put on a to do list in order to get done.
-s~~leepover with my friend.~~ Yes! Such a wonderful cozy time. more on that below.
-H~~ike and picnic with sleepover friend.~~ Yes!
–~~Work Sunday Night.~~ Yes! Couldn’t very well not show up for that one. Our first rehearsal onstage with orchestra… Man oh man, this current show is LOUD. It’s German so lots of loud brassy music and loud consonant filled singing. But the sheer wall of sound is amazing. Sometimes I love my job. Getting blasted by an orchestra of sound is one of those times.
–~~random internet chores – bills, activity sign ups, still on the quest for black shoes~~ ish. Activity sign up. Still no shoes. Need to remember to pay the bills this week. Apparently I forgot to pay the gas bill last month. Ugh.

My friend from college came over Saturday night and we went to see the movie Tar. (There’s an accent in there somewhere, but I haven’t figured out how to do that…). It’s about a conductor (Female. Interesting that I feel the need to mention that, but it is kind of an important take) whose career starts to unravel because of hubris and allegations of sexual harassment (those things are definitely related). The trailer is seriously misleading and makes the movie seem like some kind of horror/thriller movie. As we sat down, my friend, who is a huge classical music nerd, said to me, “I hope this movie isn’t like the trailer.” It wasn’t. The film was more of a provocative character study about the idea of power dynamics and the person we present to the world. It’s a little grim and dark, but there were funny moments and definitely a lot of juicy classical music world details

And I had popcorn and a Cherry Coke. I fully recognize that concessions at the movies are over-priced, but for me popcorn and soda is just part of the experience, so I will usually indulge.

There is one moment early on when Blanchett’s character talks about how a conductor is someone who controls time – they start the music, they stop the music, then they re-start it. It’s a powerful thought. But then a voice inside me said, “Yes, but even the conductor music acquiesce to the stage manager when time runs out and the rehearsal is over…” So there’s that.

Anyhow – a good film. Dark in places. Darkly funny in others. Great performances. And how awesome to see the backstage of the classical music world.

The next day my friend and I went hiking at Great Falls, on a trail that is called Billy Goat Trail. Specifically it’s Billy Goat Trail A. There is also B and C, and A is the most challenging. I had contemplated bringing the kids on this trail, but I had heard that it wasn’t recommended for really little kids, so I wanted to check it out myself. It was indeed a little difficult in places – the terrain is really rocky and follows along the Potomac river, and while I have no doubt the kids could handle it, some of the rocky terrain was really close the the edge of a drop off down to the River and I would be afraid of someone falling. I’m thinking I might wait until next spring to tackle it with the kids.

It was a gorgeous hike, and there was lots of fall colour to be seen:

see the rock climbers on the opposite side of the river!

We packed lunches which we ate perched high above the Potomac River. There’s something so nice about eating outside. I brought soy eggs (boiled eggs marinated in soy sauce and tea), hummus, guacamole, veggies, apple slices, and string cheese:

This was the toughest part of the climb – a fairly vertical stretch of cliff wall:

This is why it’s called the Billy Goat Trail.

Also loved seeing this heart in nature:

The hike took about two hours, though we went slow and stopped frequently to savor the views and have a snack. It also isn’t a very shady hike, so I think it’s best suited for fall or spring. I’m glad I went – it’s probably the area’s most famous hike, and I had never been. I feel so lucky that this National Park is less than thirty minutes away from me!

More beautiful fall nature pictures of the views along the way:

And my friend took this picture of me along one of the cliff edges. I often shy away from having pictures taken of myself, but I think it’s nice to have pictures once in a while to acknowledge where I’ve been and my very existence.

So a good combination of fun/personal/life admin tasks – which I think is important for me to feel like I’m using my “me” time well. If I had done all fun things, I would have felt the household tasks looming and then felt guilty and anxious for not getting it done. (I do feel a little anxious about the Hallowe’en costume, but I know it will get done.) And conversely, if I had only done the house tasks, I would have felt like I didn’t get to fill up my personal soul bucket. Also – getting to sleep in without anyone crawling into bed with me and demanding “Milk!!!!!” was glorious. I don’t love being in the house by myself, but I do resent when kids are constantly in my space. It’s a fine line.

The Weekend – Movie

Last weekend was a long weekend, and it felt like a good combination of lazy and productive and fun.

The “productive” was clearing out a mountain of baby clothes from the guestroom – which we currently call the multi-purpose room since it houses the guest bed, the baby’s pjs and changing table, the Husband’s seldom used work from home set up, my concertina, and all our winter coats and snow pants, and whatever random thing that doesn’t have a home. But my mother is coming in a few weeks to help with the kids when I start my next gig, so we need to make the room suitable for her.

There is something a little sad about boxing up the baby clothes to pass along to friends – the acknowledging that I’m done having babies (physically if not mentally) and that others get the joy of little baby cuddles. But I realized that just shoving the clothes in the attic was delaying the inevitable. So I sorted and packed and kept a few things in a bin I labelled “nostalgia” and then texted my friends with new babies to see if they needed clothes.

“Productive” was also going for two runs, even though the weather was in the low 30s. I had read somewhere that running makes the temperature feel ten degrees warmer, so with that in mind, I decided to brave the cold. I put on my wool and silk underwear and headed out. I’m still very very slow and running intervals rather than longer stretches, but it feels good to be moving and out in the air.

I passed this charming lone glove on my run – clearly a lost object that someone had placed on a branch in hopes that its owner would come looking for it. I love how it kind of poked out from behind the tree, waving at me while I ran past.

“Lazy” was hanging out watching football and basketball and eating popcorn for dinner and playing with our trucks and the Swedish climbing wall and deciding that the freezing rain was enough reason to let the ten year old skip swim clinic and just sit at home and watch football and eat the apple pie which the Husband made.

This latter was definitely not lazy on his part, but it was his first attempt at apple pie. Saturday would have been his father’s birthday, and he always made apple pie for the holidays. When we accidentally got a bag of granny smith apples in our grocery delivery, the Husband decided that he was going to honor his father by making an apple pie. It turned out really well! And whereas my apple pies always seem to come out with a soggy bottom, the Husband’s did not. I’m so proud of him!

Also maybe lazy was going on a winter walk. There had been snow forecast, but it turned out to be a mild dusting which quickly turned to icy slush and mud. Since we had spent the previous day hunkered inside, I decided we were going to go for a morning walk. I made the poor decision to wear my sneakers, along with the four year old, forgetting that there is some patches on our walk that has truly terrible drainage and then had to carry him over some large icy puddles. Note to self: just wear the boots.

And “Fun” was taking the ten year old to see West Side Story at the AFI Theatre. I love West Side Story. One summer, I was stage managing at an opera festival and my show was performed in rep with a production of West Side Story that was so so so good. Like I started crying from the moment Tony and Maria met in the gym because there was something so beautifully fatalistic yet full of life about that production. I don’t usually gush to directors, but at the opening night party, I cornered the director and gushed.

When I was in high school, or maybe college, I can’t remember, I somehow got my hands on a cassette tape of the original Broadway Cast Album of West Side Story. I can’t recall what I was doing at the time, or where I was going, but the commute was exactly the same length as the A side of the tape – from the brassy opening bars of the prologue to the romantic hopefulness of “One Hand, One Heart.” Every day, as I drove from home to work (or maybe school), I listened to Side A. I feel like there was something wrong with my tape deck that I couldn’t just flip the tape over, so I would just rewind the tape and listen to side A again. And it was kind of magical and perfect because twice a day in my car, Maria and Tony met, fell in love, and pledged their troth. I never moved on the the Rumble or its tragic outcome, or to Anita’s anger and Maria’s desperate love or the hopeless hopefulness of “Somewhere.” There was just this perfect little story of two kids from opposite sides falling in love.

So my love for West Side Story is longstanding and when I saw that the movie was finally being released, I knew I was going to have to see it somehow. (Somewhere…) I also thought it would be a great mother-daughter date since the ten year old loves musicals too. There’s that line in the book “Nothing to See Here” where the main character says something to the effect of parenting being showing kids what you love and hoping they love it too. This was absolutely that kind of excursion. (Spoiler alert: She loved “America” but though the Rumble too scary. “There’s a reason that this movie is PG 13!” she said, emphasis on the 13. )

Even pre-COVID I didn’t go to the movies much – maybe two or three times a year. During COVID – I think the ten year old went to a movie birthday party last summer where one of her classmates rented out the whole theatre, but that’s pretty much been it for movies in theatre. To be honest, I was a little on the fence about whether I thought this was going to be a good idea. I mean there’s the whole COVID and gathering in large groups thing, but also… the story doesn’t really have a happy ending. But I asked her if she would want to go and she said yes.

On the movie theatre’s website, patrons have to to reserve their seats when they buy tickets, so I could look at the seating chart and get an idea of how crowded the theater would be. It didn’t look like there were a lot of tickets being sold – and I had heard that the movie wasn’t doing that well at the box office. Given that the seating chart looked pretty empty and that they required proof of vaccination or a negative PCR test and masks in order to see a film, I figured that going to the movies was not the riskiest thing that we could do right now. But even still, I was somewhat relieved when the movie started and I looked around and counted maybe twelve people in the theatre. It’s so strange to have to do these kinds of risk calculations for something that used to be a typical casual date night activity, but I guess that’s life in COVID times.

The movie itself was wonderful. I though the new script by Tony Kushner brought some thoughtful backstory and details to the story. And I loved how gritty yet beautiful everything and everyone was. And the score, and hearing it played by a full orchestra. And the dancing… I love big dance numbers with choreography that tells a story as well as showcases how incredible the human body can be when it moves. And when many human bodies move together, it’s even more amazing. Every move was so deft and natural.

And there were definitely tears for me. I’ve always found “Somewhere” somewhat problematic in the stage show because while the song is beautiful, it kind of pulls the action away from the stage and story. But in the film, I thought they found such a moving solution for the song, one that had me in tears. I actually was in tears for a lot of the movie. Mostly during that “B” side of the tape that I never listened to all those years ago. Which is probably a good thing because driving while crying is tough.