Tag: tv shows

Weekly recap + what we ate: September Review/October Aspirations

I was feeling kind of “meh” about September. We had a big goal of doing a lot of decluttering, but we had one major win (the attic), and one kind of fail (the toy room.) We have a plan for the foyer to manage our shoes and socks and drop zones, but it requires ordering new shoe storage. I’m excited about the shoe storage that we have picked out, but it is pricy, so I’m not sure when we’ll order it. And then on top of it all, the start of school and activities just feels overwhelming – totally my own doing, of course, but it’s stressful.

But when I went to journal about my September, I found there were some highlights tucked in there.

September Highlights:
– My parents came to visit.
-The youngest kid turned five!!! We had cake at home and also a birthday party for her with friends at the small local aquarium.
-The kids and I went to the Renaissance Faire. It was so much fun. I’m glad we went early because it’s been sold out for the rest of the season since mid September.
-Going through the attic and throwing out/donating/ passing along so much stuff. The space that this has opened up is amazing.
-Family Game Night. A wonderful, quieter alternative to big adventures.
-Discovered some tasty food near us – a Balkan restaurant and an Indonesian one.
-The County’s Friendship picnic – tasty falafel and bounce houses.
-On the work front – working a corporate gig (a new to me experience), and doing super titles for a Vocal Recital (familiar gig, nice to return to).
-We found out that the 12 year old got into the children’s chorus for the holiday opera that I’m working on. She was so excited. I took this picture of her reading the offer:

September Lowlights – funny how many of these lowlights are tied to the highlights:
-Trying to figure out the logistics of getting the 12 year old to opera rehearsals. Rehearsals start at 4pm, and that’s kind of a logistical nightmare. She doesn’t start until November, but it’s causing a lot of stress.
-My parents came to visit, but I barely saw them because I was working most nights that they were here.
– Not managing to work through the toy room declutter.
-Not having a chance to go on any hikes or visit any museums all month. This might be the first month all year where I didn’t fit in either a hike or a museum visit.

October Aspirations:
Okay, I had written a big long list for October aspirations, but I think I’ll just whittle it down to a few essentials:
– Survive our schedule, making sure everyone stays fed, rested, and gets where they are scheduled to be. In addition to the kids’ usual activities, the 7 year old is going to be a supernumerary (non-speaking extra) in the opera I’m working on. I might regret signing him up – it will be several late nights and will take thoughtful logistics, but he’s excited to do it, and I’m excited to have him in the show.
-Hallowe’en. I think we have costumes sorted out. I need to make them, but I’ve penciled costume work days into my calendar.
– Another effort on the toy room purge.
-VOTE. This is a big one. Early voting starts in ten days. If I don’t do anything else, I need to do this.
-Remember to hug the Husband and children every day.
-Daily time outside. Even the low bar of the Cool Bloggers Walking Club seems high to me right now, but here’s a reminder to step outside and breath the fall air every day.
-I had a bunch of other aspirations written down – the perpetual “get rid of car” project, planning for our Asia Trip, hike, museum, exercise, no-spend month, social plans… I think those are going on the “really, maybe, probably not this month” list. I’m setting expectations low here.

Other Things This Week:
-Contra-dancing! The Husband suggested we go contra-dancing this week. There is a new-ish contra dance about two miles down the road from us on the second Thursday of the month. The Husband and I met contra-dancing and we used to go several times a month. In our area you used to be able to go to a contra dance on Friday Nights and Sunday nights, and if you were willing to drive to Baltimore, you could also go to one on Saturday nights as well. It’s a pretty popular activity here. The Sunday night dance no longer runs now, thanks COVID. And we also haven’t been for a while, thanks, kids. I don’t think we’ve been since before the 7 year old could walk. Anyhow, the Husband told me about this Thursday night dance and we went, taking all the kids, and we all had such a great time. The music was amazing, the people friendly. There were several people that remembered us from when we used to attend the dance regularly. I laughed, I spun really fast, I moved my feet to the music, I swung my kids around, I made small talk with nice people. It was a really great time.

Blurry screen capture from video the 12 year old took of the Husband and me.

-Good talk with a teacher – One of the kids has been struggling in school so we set up a meeting with the teacher to talk about strategies. I’ve always been a little hands off with my kids’ schools, but this year, I’m realizing that there is a an element of collaboration that is needed – teachers and administrators want to know when kids are struggling, and it’s better to ask the questions rather than assume things will work out. I’ve always felt bad about emailing teachers about issues, and taking their time, but I’m seeing that there is a time and a tone for these communications, especially in the elementary/middle school years. I’m sure high school is a whole different ball game.

-Matching Overalls! We went to Duluth Trading Company on Saturday – the Husband needed some new shirts and pants. I’m doing a casual, no-pressure Buy Nothing month (inspired by Stephany!), so I didn’t buy anything for myself, but I did try on some jeans and they weren’t terrible. I might buy myself a pair in November. I haven’t worn jeans in two years and it’s hard to go back, but they are a really versatile piece of clothing and good for running around backstage. So I will marinate on that. But in the mean time, I couldn’t resist picking up a pair of overalls for the 5 year old. They have a super cute fox print pattern on them. And… the overalls come in adult sizes as well. The 12 year old and I both tried them on together. I was sooooo tempted to buy us all matching overalls, but they are on the pricy side and the 12 year old found a pair of ivory corduroy overalls she liked better, and I decided to resist the temptation and stick to my “no buy” intentions. But look how cute we all are!

-We finally finished watching a TV series! This is very rare for us – we often peter out of energy when watching something together, or if I’m watching something on my own, I am often reluctant to watch the series finale because I don’t want the show to end (I’m looking at you, This is Us). We watched the last episode of Ted Lasso over the weekend. (Though there are rumors of a Season 4…?). The last episode was predictably sentimental and heart-tugging to the point of manipulative, but I kind of loved it. I feel like it’s not “cool” to wear your emotions on your sleeve anymore – there is so much television about people being mean to each other, or being irrevocably lonely, or trying to get ahead, or having terrible things happen, and blood and sex and gore and ironic wise assery. And Ted Lasso’s big hearted optimism is the antidote to that. This last season – sure it was predictable and it seemed like they were box checking plot points, but dammit if there weren’t some genuinely touching moments and I might have been a little teary eyed.

-Bored and Brilliant Challenge. As I mentioned in the last post, I’m trying to work my way through the Bored and Brilliant Challenge – six challenges put together by the podcast New Tech City/ Note to Self in 2015 to help one re-set phone habits. The first challenge was to keep your phone in your pocket (or your bag) when you are in transit. As part of the episode, the host sat on a New York City street and counted how many people walking by were interacting with their phone. Of the 1000 people she counted, 30% of people were interacting with their phones, which actually seems low to me – but the episode was from 2015, so maybe people were less attached to their phones nine years ago? At any rate, one of the main points of this first challenge is how even when you don’t look at your phone, even having it out is a distraction and keeps you from truly connecting – with others, with your surroundings, with yourself.
I’ve been doing this “phone in pocket” challenge, and at the beginning I noticed that I would, out of habit, pull my phone out after work as I walked to my car. This wasn’t great, especially since I often left work late at night when it was dark out. But it was also something that I wasn’t even thinking about. What was interesting to me about this challenge, too, is that one would think that a behavior that requires effort (pulling out one’s phone) comes against more friction than something that requires no effort (leaving the phone in my bag). But that itch to check my phone – the discomfort of being bored – clearly was winning out over the inertia of leaving the phone in my bag. So when I started finding myself reaching for my phone while walking or in the car or wanting to take it with me when I walked down the hall to talk to someone at work, I tried to acknowledge the discomfort of being bored, the urge of wanting to be entertained, and sat with that a little bit. Like seriously, what is so boring about walking to the car that I feel like I need to be looking at my phone? I’m sure there are scientific studies that look at how the brain processes content from the phone vs. other inputs. Maybe this “challenge” will just become a habit.

Challenge #2 is to have a Photo Free Day, where you don’t use your phone yo take any pictures for a whole day. I do like to take pictures to remember things, and capture moments. Will report back on how this challenge goes.

Grateful For:
-Walking trails to school. Twice last week, I drove the 7 year old and his friend to school. The first time, was because we missed the bus, so I drove and parked along the trail that goes to the school and we walked the rest of the way – I kind of loathe sitting in the carpool line and thought this would be nicer. The 7 year old said to me, “It’s nice to start the day with a walk!” So on Friday, I asked if he wanted to walk to school again, and he did, so we once again parked on the trail and walked up to the school. I’m grateful that for living in a pretty urban suburb, there are still lots of ways to walk.

-Being home for dinner. Opera season is starting for me, which means a lot of nights and weekends. I’m grateful when I get the evening off and can be home for dinner. I love family dinners.

-Parks and playgrounds. On Saturday, the 12 year old had a birthday party. It was about 25-30 minutes away from home, and we didn’t think it would be efficient to drop off then return, so we took the opportunity to go grocery shopping and to take the two little kids to a playground. I feel so lucky that there are so many parks and playgrounds in our area. You can often find one (or two or three) within a 10 or 15 minute drive of wherever you are in our part of our county. So if ever we need to kill some time, going to a playground is usually a good solution. I’m also grateful that the kids still like playgrounds.

-Not quite getting rid of my car yet. Our van had to go into the shop and we were down one car for a week, so I ended up driving my 20 year old car while my husband drove the Impreza until the van was fixed. I know we are lucky to have three cars for situations like this – even if one car is 12 years old and the other car is 20 years old. Part of me thinks, maybe we don’t need to get rid of my car – it’s good to have an extra car for instances like this. But it is silly and expensive and hard to justify keeping a third car for emergencies when we live a 10 minute walk to public transportation.

Looking forward to:
-Hallowe’en. I’m not working on Hallowe’en this year, so I get to take the kids trick or treating. The costumes have all been chosen. There were some last minute changes, but I stuck firm that I wasn’t making different Hallowe’en costumes, so any changes had to be able to be sourced/purchased.

-Starting rehearsals. We’ve been prepping for the start of rehearsals. It’s always exciting to learn a new score and wrap my brain around new sets and costumes (well, new to me – the costumes are rented and the set takes parts of previous shows and uses them together). At a certain point, however, I am itching to move from the show being in my head to see how it is going to get up on its feet, to see what the singers and creative team is like, to hear the music sung by real live people.

-Soup Party! I’ve organized a soup party for my department at work. I’m excited – and the weather is just starting to turn chilly enough for soup weather. I think I’ll make Chinese corn soup – it’s easy to put together and very tasty. Not sure if I’ll make it vegan (tofu instead of eggs).

-Just started these two books:

In busy seasons, I try to find books that are fun to read and engagingly written right off the bat, and these two books are that, in very different ways. One is about navigating puberty- it gives the science behind the changes that happen and also gives ideas on how to kids about the changes in a wonderfully non-judgmental way.. The other book is a love story that straddles two eras.

What We Ate:
Monday: Pasta Salad. Made before I went to work in the afternoon. Jenny Rosenstrach’s marinated beans, pasta, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers. Vegan.

Tuesday: Soba and herb salad with roasted eggplants and plums. This was simpler than it sounds, but boy was it tasty. I ate it for leftovers the rest of the week. Vegan.

Wednesday: Leftover pizza from the 5 year old’s birthday party.

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: pizza (take out) and Glee

Saturday: The 12 year old was at a birthday party. The husband and I weren’t terribly hungry after a big lunch, so we didn’t eat, but we did buy the two little kids a sandwich to split from the grocery store.

Sunday: Leftovers for me. Yogurt with berries and honey. Toast (again) – PB&J on English muffins for one kid, melted cheese on English muffins for the other kid. Cut up veggies on the side.

How is your October going so far?

September so far+ what we ate: a litany of complaints.

This started out as my regular weekly post, then a biweekly post. And now September is almost gone. So here is where we are so far this month….

Life’s been kind of super “meh” lately. And I don’t even know why I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed, or petulant about adulting – I haven’t been working full time so I have time, everyone is healthy (even with the Husband having knee surgery), our bills are being paid… It’s the adulting that is getting to me. Or maybe it is the not working full time that makes the adulting hard. Life seems more manageable when I have the anchor of work limiting my choices – or maybe I can focus my energy better when I’m working? I start back at work full time this week, so we’ll see.

But, if I can indulge – here’s a partial list of life stressors lately –

-The kids had dentist appointments and there were cavities. Like more than a few. Including a couple that had been detected at the last visit but I just never got around to setting up follow-up appointments to get them filled. And now I need to take the two younger kids to a pediatric dentist because it’s gotten so bad our family dentist thinks they need the pediatric specialist and possibly crowns for one kid. I think they might have genetically bad teeth because we are pretty good at brushing- not “three times a day every day” good, but at least “every night for two minutes and then mom does a pass and then twice a day most days”. And the three year old even flosses a couple times a week! They do eat candy, but not an unreasonable amount, and I always make sure to do extra brushing if we’ve had a particularly sugary day. Gah! It’s so upsetting.

-I went to get passport photos taken at CVS, finally getting on that passport renewal that’s been on my to do list. (My passport has been expired since mid September; I hope there are no international emergencies for the next 6-8 weeks.). Granted, I don’t think the lighting at this CVS was very good, and granted it’s been ten years since my last passport photo, but I was not prepared for how much older I look now than in my last photo. It’s fine. I considered having another picture taken, somewhere with better lighting, but it’s truly not worth it; I will maybe look at the picture once every few years. I feel petty for finding this so irksome.

-Then there is the three year old’s birthday party, which I didn’t plan until the last minute and now only a handful of kids from her class is coming, and not the kid that she talks about all the time. Two of my kids have birthdays right after really busy times of the year – the four year old after the start of school, and the 11 year old just after Christmas/New Year – so I’m learning that I need to plan/prep birthday parties before the busy part of the year hits. Or maybe not learning since I fall into this trap every. single. year. and have to scramble to throw a party together. I also find the September birthday a bit of a conundrum – first of all, statistically September has a lot of birthdays so there is a lot of competition for birthday guests and venues. But then also, September is the new school year, so people tend to invite the whole class to parties. It seems like birthday invites peter out as the year goes along because kids solidify their friend groups so that they don’t necessarily want all the kids at their party. Which is all to say, a September party – well pluses are we can have an inexpensive park party outside, but minuses are tracking down contact info for all the kids in her class, which means I can’t send out invites until after school starts, or, in the case of the 4 year old, after the kids all moved to their new classrooms. (note – the party happened – everyone had a good time, I think. more on that in a later post.)

-I feel bad that I’ve been messing up the 11 year old’s activities. One day I sent the Husband and the 11 year old (with the six year old in tow) to the first day of swim clinic while I went to a music festival with my friend and the 3 year old. EXCEPT… swim clinic doesn’t start for another three weeks. They arrived at the pool and everything was closed up. face palm. Then three days later, I totally messed up the time for her basketball workout – I thought it was at 8pm, but it was actually at 6pm and she ended up missing that. Ugh again. I’ve written both swim and basketball times now on the wall calendar.

-I’m feeling a little stymied by the decisions in life – two mainly: Window treatments in the living room and a new car. It just seems so overwhelming. I know we need window treatments – the sheers and too short curtains from another room have been up for over a year and I think the improvised nature of it all is just making our living space seem unfinished. To be fair, I care less than the Husband, but he cares very much indeed. I completely understand why people come to hire interior designers. It’s not that they want to spend money making their living space look a certain way – it’s that’s they don’t want to spend mental energy on it. In my twenties, I spent a lot of my time living in furnished rentals for various opera jobs. I learned that I really don’t care what a space looks like as long as it is functional and the bed is comfortable. This is what I care about the window treatments in our living room: cordless, top down/bottom up function so I can let in the sunlight without having the whole world look into our living room, light filtering. But there are so many other features – inside mount or outside mount? do we add drapes as well? how high would we hang them? does it complement the wood paneling of the foyer? too much! And it’s not like paint where we can just repaint if it isn’t great. Window treatments are expensive. And permanent. Decision paralysis.

-Also the car. The car. It’s 20 years old with 180, 000 miles on it. And last week I took it in for an oil change and some other random things. It squeaks. Random lights keep coming on. It leaks oil. It’s probably terrible for the environment. So… I know we need a new car. The Husband wants a mini van. I would rather not. But I also don’t really want to have to go car shopping. The beauty of my current car (2003 Subaru Legacy Wagon) is that someone very special to me sold it to us for a good deal. It is not the car I ever imagined I would drive, but it was a car that came to us at the right time. I did not have to go car shopping and test drive and compare and haggle and finance – I just had to decide whether or not to take this one car. It was an amazingly lucky situation.

-I feel like I’m still trying to find the morning routine. It feels like the bare minimum right now- the kids wake up, get breakfast, get dressed, I make lunches…. with a lot of free play sprinkled in there. But our mornings are really long – we don’t leave for the school bus until 9:50am – so I think the mornings can be more restorative for me than they currently are.

Things I want to add to my morning:
– 10 minutes (at least) of yoga.
– piano practicing with the six year old
– breakfast that isn’t finishing off someone’s uneaten yogurt
– teeth brushing for the kids, every day.
– a minute to think through my day.
-reading and journaling. (Though I’m trying to move journaling to the evening routine, but this past week, I’ve had supertitle work in the evening. And I’ve been really tired. I don’t know why, but this past year I’ve noticed that I get SUPER tired the week before my period – like asleep by 9:30pm tired, which is really early for me.)
-better clean up efforts for the breakfast dishes.

If I get up early enough- like before 6:15am, I can get reading or journaling or yoga in as well before the Husband leaves for work at 6:45/7:00a. But the 3 year old is also an early riser and is always interested in hanging out too, and time with her is also feels precious, especially as I start working more evenings and weekends. But time for me is precious too. So … maybe I should wake earlier even? I’ve been setting my alarm for 6:15p lately. Going to bed before midnight is also an important part of this equation.

All things things are fixable, of course. I sometimes feel like the things that I can do something about are more stressful than the things I can’t do anything about.

Okay – to balance that griping, it wasn’t all terrible:

-The 11 year old got a part in the school play!!!! I guess sixth graders don’t always get parts, so this is really special. She is playing “the smart girl”.

-The 3 year old is not allergic to yellow jackets. She got stung in the face at a birthday party one weekend. Her face swelled up something fierce and I was very concerned. The pediatrician was not concerned. It was definitely a “Looks much worse than it is” type deal.

-I started a new position at work. I still stage manage, but I have some added responsibilities with overseeing the department. I have some mixed feelings about this. Excited for the possibilities, but also nervous for the added responsibilities and balancing everything. One of the lovely things, though, is that a lot of people have been congratulating me on my new position, and when I walked into the chorus music rehearsal last week, everyone clapped and cheered. The good will and support I feel just beaming from people is both daunting and comforting.

-The Husband and I had an afternoon date. He was still recovering from his knee surgery, so we didn’t do anything too strenuous – we went and got fancy bagel sandwiches, then got coffee, and then went to a local garden and sat on a park bench and read. The weather had cooled down but it was still sunny, which made for a lovely time to sit outside and read. Then afterwards we went to run errands – we went to the library and stopped by the local deli, where the owner talked our ear off and told us how good parents we were because every time we came in with our kids they looked really happy and didn’t run around touching things they weren’t supposed to. Then the Husband says, “Well the youngest one is always very interested in the cookies.” And the owner says, “Here, I’ll give you a bag!” and he gave us a bag of almond cookies to take home. It was such an unexpected small town moment in our suburban lives.

Grateful for – the weather has cooled off here, but the beginning of September was verrrry hot, so here are my hot hot September gratitudes: :

– shady trails – I’ve mentioned this before but I feel so lucky to live near a shady trail. With the kids back in school, I have time to run in the mornings now, so the shade made the 90 degree weather bearable.

– sun shade in car – I have one of those fold up shades which you put on your windshield so your car doesn’t get as hot when it is parked in the sun. One of my least favorite parts of hot hot summer is a hot hot car. The car sun shade is definitely on my top ten summer must haves for helping to keep the car from getting as hot as it could.

– Basil from the Husband’s garden for basil lemonade. I think I’ve also mentioned this before – I’ve been making basil simple syrup and lemonade base to mix with fizzy water for a cold drink and it’s been lovely. The basil syrup gives a nice herby twist and cuts the sweetness of the lemonade.

-and now I am grateful for the cooler weather, even if it did rain all weekend. The trips of some trees have started to turn red and gold and . We are, after all, officially into Autumn.

Looking forward to:

– going back to work. I start prep for my Fall show this week. I think the show will be challenging and it’s bigger in many ways than anything I’ve done before, but I’m feeling well supported, so I am looking forward to it.

– apples. It’s apple season. My favorite farm stand is starting to explode with a variety of apples. I like to try all the variety, but I always forget which apple is which. I need to do a better job of labeling the apples that I buy. I tried taking pictures as I buy them, but when I get home, they all kind of look the same.

– wearing new to me running clothes. I have been running in nursing tanks and decided that I should get better options. I was going to order some new running tops and sports bras from online, but one day, I thought I’d swing by the thrift store to see if I could find anything there before I bought new. The thrift stores near me are very large so it always feel daunting to go – there are some good things to be found, but also there are a lot of things that are not of great quality, so it takes a lot of sifting to find things I want. But I ended up finding two Athleta bras and a couple Athleta tank tops. Of course the weather has cooled a little bit now, so I can run in t-shirts rather than tank tops, but getting new to me running clothes and not having to run in old nursing bras helps me look forward to my morning run.

– season 3 of Starstruck. This charming and hilarious 2021 series on Max is about Jessie who hooks up with Tom, whom she later finds out is a famous movie star. Jessie’s life is a mess, and watching her fumble though life and inadvertently get involved with a very famous person hit all the right notes for me. I’m really excited to see more of Jessie and Tom.

What We Ate: (So far in September – we haven’t been great about doing an organized meal planning and grocery trip; some nights I’ve had to open the pantry and freezer and be creative. Luckily, we keep a well stocked pantry and I prioritize buying vegetables)

Tuesday: Pasta with broiled tomatoes (using up some of the last of the summer tomatoes from the Garden) from Dinner Illustratedd.

Wednesday: Smoked Salmon snack dinner – crackers, spreads, fruit, cut up crudite.

Thursday: Taco Salad. Improvised by throwing together lettuce, black beans, cut up tomatoes, a chipotle dressing, avocado and tortilla chips. This was one of those pantry meals that tasted better than it had any business tasting for the degree to which it was thrown together from whatever was in the house.

Friday: Pizza and Billy Elliott. This movie, about an 11 year old boy who wants to be a ballet dancer, set against the backdrop of the 1984 coal mine strike in Northern England came out in 200o. I remember it being hugely praised, but I had never seen it before, so I borrowed it from the library when it was my turn to pick the family movie night movie. What a lovely movie! It was a lot sadder than I expected, but the characters, especially the father really stayed with me. There might have been some tears along the way. It’s so funny how one watches movies differently as one gets older – I think if I had seen it in 2000, I would have been really focused on Billy’s journey, but 45 year old me really saw this as a movie about a father wanting the best for his kid.

Saturday: Salmon, roasted with potatoes and zucchini. Another dinner pulled off without forethought. One of the things I love salmon is that you can roast it from frozen – I can pull it out of the freezer and have a fancy-ish feeling dinner in 30 minutes. This meal was also a minor triumph because those potatoes had been sitting in the fridge for who knows how long and I’m so excited that I finally used them up.

Sunday: Meatballs and pasta. The Husband made dinner as I had gone to a music festival with a friend. I had food truck Vietnamese which was very tasty. I guess the owners fof the food truck are opening a restaurant three blocks from my work and I am veeeerrrry excited.

Monday: Eggplant noodle salad from the Greens Cookbook. I love this salad – roasted eggplant and blanched broccoli marinated in soy sauce, garlic, sesame oil and vinegar, eaten with noodles. (the original recipe calls for snow peas and bean sprouts, but I had broccoli and I don’t buy bean sprouts because they always go slimy before I can use them up.) This recipe is the reason that I keep the Greens Cookbook on the shelf. Vegan. Oh wait – I used honey instead of sugarin the recipe. So not vegan, but could be.

Tuesday: Corn and egg drop soup from Vegetarian Chinese Soul Food. This is a big hit with the family. I made a broth from ginger, celery, and jujube and it really gave it a special “my Mom’s kitchen” flavour.

Wednesday: Sheet pan gnocchi – one of my favorite quick pantry meals. This recipe was great for using up the last of the tomatoes from the Husband’s garden. Vegan.

Thursday: Chicken taco wraps. I had to work, so the Husband cooked.

Friday: Pizza and movie night. Dungeons and Dragons. Very entertaining movie, though completely formulaic movie based on the role playing game – I could see each act/beat play out predictably. But still, it was a good time. The 11 year old made a comment that she was really excited to see so many strong female characters. On the pizza front – the Husband made a Mexican inspired pizza by putting the chicken and pickled onions from the night before along with some corn and cheddar cheese on a pizza and it was amazing.

Saturday: We went out to eat at the local Japanese Hibachi and Buffet. We had promised the 11 year old that we would take her in 2019 and then there was a pandemic. So we are finally honoring the promise. So. Much. Food.

Sunday: leftovers/ fend for yourself.

Monday: The Husband made dumplings and green beans. I was working that evening. I think I ate leftover salmon on salad greens topped with kimchi.

Tuesday: The Husband took the kids out to dinner with a friend. I had leftover salmon on greens with kimchi again. I swear – kimchi is my “any meal” food.

Wednesday: Pad Thai Cabbage Salad from Hetty McKinnon’s To Asia with Love cook book and salt and pepper tofu. A pad thai dressing over rice noodles, shredded cabbage and kale topped with peanuts. The tofu is just pan fried and sprinkled with white pepper and salt. Vegan.

Thursday: Chicken rice soup in the Instant pot . I had meant to make spaghetti and meatballs in the IP since I wasn’t going to be home that evening, but I couldn’t find the meatballs. So I improvised – frozen chicken breast, carrots, celery, onions, a can of diced tomatoes, chicken broth and some frozen leftover rice throw it all in the Instant Pot with some salt, pepper, rosemary, and thyme. It turned out really well. Also I got to use up the celery languishing in the fridge. yay.

Weekly Recap + what we ate: mind wandering and meanderings

Sunday morning at the ice rink.

This week felt really routine. Morning – breakfast/pack lunches/school bus run. Then Work. Then home to eat dinner (never made it home in time to make dinner). Then kids to bed and collapse in exhaustion. I had a couple late nights when I stayed up late to work on the slides for a supertitle gig. That probably explains the few nights that I collapsed in exhaustion. Sometimes I think wistfully on “college me” who could pull four or five all nighters in a row. I can’t do that anymore. I mean I like sleep, but also.. it sometimes feels like a waste of time.

The week started off with Superbowl Sunday. We had friends over and lots of food. The kids ran around with minimal interest in the game, only coming down to eat periodically. I didn’t have druthers who won – I usually like just rooting for whomever is running with the ball. There’s something about a person running really fast while being chased that makes me want them to come out on top. It was a lovely social way to start the week.

Mind wanders and life meanders from the week:

It’s been taking a lot of mental energy to get through the decisions that have been thrown my way at work this week. Fine, we’ll get through. One of the Assistant Stage Managers on the show has brought in a jigsaw puzzle for the communal table in our office and we’ve been slowly working our way through. Or actually, not too slowly because it seemed like every time I came in in the morning, a new swath of puzzle was complete. Anyhow, a couple days ago, I came in to this:

My co-workers had left the last piece for me to do. Isn’t that awesome? I left it undone, saying I wanted to save it for a really bad day so that I’d have something that could go right when I needed it.

Haircut – I think I last got my haircut last year around this time. My modus operadi is to grow out my hair until it’s time to start a new gig, then to get it cut super short. I really should get my hair cut more, but I have to admit that my stylist is very expensive and it feels like his rates go up every time I get my haircut. Which, I guess if it’s only once a year, is understandable. Anyhow, my favorite part of getting my haircut super short- it now takes about five minutes to shower. Yay. When my hair gets long I sometimes am very reluctant to shower because it takes so long to wash my hair and then it takes a long time to dry. Oh – another perk, is I think the short hair hides the grey more. Or maybe not. I might just be kidding myself on that one.

Masking – I ordered another batch of masks for the kids this week, which led me to contemplate the current state of masking where I am. I would say that I am seeing fewer and fewer masks, but I do see them continue to be worn when I am out and about- mostly older people and people with children and service providers. Currently only the two little kids still wear masks to school. Except for a few weeks ago when there were 3 COVID cases in the 6 year old’s classroom and everyone was asked to mask for 10 days, masks are not mandatory. I think it’s interesting that the two little kids still ask for their masks as they head out the door for school while the 11 year old no longer wears one unless we ask her to, for example if we go to the theatre or something. Masking at work is encouraged but not enforced for me, in addition my company still does mandatory twice a week COVID testing. I do think that is on the more cautious end of the spectrum. I still mostly mask at the grocery store, though I don’t worry if I forget. I think right now, I’ve resigned myself to the idea that we’ll just continue masking for a while, but not to be too strict about it. I also realize that my approach to masking is probably not entirely rational and likely just habit right now; COVID levels are really low where I am. Also – I feel like there is so much other stuff goin on out there right now… if it’s not COVID, the kids are going to be sick from something else.

Petty annoyance of the week – Last week, spring swim lesson sign ups opened on Monday morning for our county swim program, and by the time I logged in at noon, all the slots for the beginner classes were taken, except for maybe 6:30pm on a Tuesday night, which is a little on the late side for us. I kind of knew the slots were going to fill fast and it still annoyed me mightily to have missed out. When the oldest was little, I would set my alarm for 6am on registration day to snag a swim lesson slot. I don’t know why I lost the will to do that these past few years. Second/third kid syndrome, maybe? I know if I were serious about getting the littles into swim lessons I would just sign them up for lessons with one of the private swim schools here. But they are so much more expensive. Anyhow, I think I will just try to take the kids to the pool more often during free swim time and then come summer sign them up for private lessons at our summer swim club. Sidenote story: A few months ago, I went to our local swim store to buy the eleven year old a new swimsuit and impulsively threw in a couple kickboards for the two little kids. Now the baby wanders around with her kick board asking, “When are we going to the pool?” She even has slept with it on occasion. So yeah, I think getting to the pool at least once this winter is on the to do list.

Another petty annoyance of the week: The weather was beautiful all week and I wanted to bike to work, but after I got all my gear on and unearthed the bike from the shed, I went to put air in the tires and the valve to the tire was broken. AAAARGGH!!! I need to streamline the process for biking to work so that when it doesn’t work out I’m not so devastated to have lost thirty minutes of anticipation and preparation time. Anyhow, I’m sure it’s an easy fast fix, but I haven’t had time to do it yet… and I’m feeling very annoyed that beautiful weather is passing by while the bike sits unused. I guess it was a week for foiled plans – I also spent an entire morning putting up a baby gate for my parent’s tenants because the door to their basement broke, and basement stairs+ babies = bad combination. The baby gate absolutely needed to be done, and I was happy to do it, but having my morning routine thrown off track was annoying. Oh well… expect the unexpected.

Proud Parent moment of the week: Last week was Valentine’s Day – a day that I usually mark with last minute trips to Target to survey the bottom barrel dregs of Valentine’s day cards available, or which I try to solve with Amazon next day shopping. I think my happiest moment last month was when the baby’s child care center emailed all the parents to notify us that the center does not celebrate Valentine’s Day and Valentine’s cards would not be necessary. Hallelujah!

But that still left the two kids in elementary school with Valentines to procure. I tasked the Husband to work with the 11 year old for hers – she just wanted to give out candy. I took on the six year old. He wanted to hand out stickers. The Sunday before Valentine’s Day we went to Michael’s, and to my dismay, the Valentine’s Day items were already relegated to a tiny shelf, to make way, of course, or Easter and St. Patrick’s Day. There were no Valentine’s Day Stickers. No heart stickers. Nothing. But…. luckily, we found some French stickers – perfect because the six year old is in French immersion school. So I grabbed those and called it done. I took them home and had him write his name on the back of the right number of sticker sheets. The next night, I offered to write his classmate’s names for him. He said, “I want to write Ada because it is short. The other names are too long.”

Okay, I figured that he could write Ada’s sticker sheet and I would write the rest of them. But… once he finished Ada, he looked at the rest of the names on his list and said, “I would like to try the other names.” And he did it! He wrote all twenty-four names of his classmates on the sticker sheets. I was just so proud of him for deciding that it was worth trying to do and doing it.

Also – check out his new favorite accessory. Cracks me up.

He’s overseeing the new construction of the Death Star, while writing Valentine’s Day Cards.

Grateful For This Week:
-The ridiculously mild weather. It was in the 50s and 60s all week. A couple days of rain, but other than that such nice weather. The crocuses are blooming which fill me with both joy and trepidation.

It’s a February Spring.

-The friend from my mom’s group who lent me the baby gate for my parent’s tenants. So glad I have a group of people I can just text for random asks like this.
– The ice arena nearby where the six year old has been taking skating lessons on Sunday mornings. I’ve really been enjoying our Sunday morning routine these past few weeks. The price of skating lessons also includes a punch card for the skater to come to free skate to practice. So on Sundays, I’ve been taking the three year old and the six year old to the 11am free skate, and then the three year old and I will continue to skate while the six year old has lessons from 12:15 to 12:45pm. Then we have a snack and go to the park, and get home around 2:00pm for a late lunch. It’s been a nice way to spend a Sunday morning, and I get to go skating too, which is always fun. I love seeing how even in these six weeks, both kids have gotten so much better on skates. I can skate for a quarter lap of the rink without anyone clinging on to me! And I initially thought that they would get discouraged by falling, but they haven’t; they just get right back up and continue skating. I’ve already signed up both kids for the next session and I’m looking forward to it!
– A friend and colleague whom I could just text with questions about my supertitle gig. (And this is where I get into the weeds of what I do…) Most of the translated titles that I format for these song recitals are for songs based on poetry. When formatting the projected titles, I’m always torn between maintaining the line of the original poem versus matching the line of the music. For example this poem by Edith Sitwell, set to music by William Walton:
Through gilded trellises
Of the heat, spangles
Pelt down through the tangles
Of bell flowers. Each dangles
Her castanets, shutters
Fall while the heat mutters.
(You can hear the full song here if you choose – it’s a charming song.)

Clearly the rhyming scheme doesn’t follow the line of the sentence. But the composer has set the musical phrases to follow the sentences, not the lines of poetry. At the same time, there is something so wonderful about the way the rhymes work. So the question is… is there an obligation, when writing the translation slides, to preserve the original line and rhyme scheme of the poetry?
Anyhow, I texted my friend for her opinion and she reminded me: “When the translation title fights the musical line, it can be distracting.” Which is a good reminder that my job is really to help the audience understand the music, not admire the poetry.
Also this question always good to ask: “Will the poet be at the recital?” My friend should really write a book on the art of writing supertitles.

Looking Forward To:
– Going to the theatre this week! I have tickets to see Into the Woods. At first I was going to go with the Husband and the 11 year old, but then the logistics of finding a sitter of the other two kids kind of overwhelmed me. (I know… we should be using a sitter more.) So the Husband and the 11 year old are going to go one night and I’m going with my friend/college roommate a different night. I’m so excited! My friend loves Into The Woods, and it’s her birthday week, so it feels celebratory. When we were in college we went to see a concert version that reunited the original cast for the 10th year anniversary of the original Broadway production, so this will be a nice throwback.
– Planning our Spring Break Trip. I know it’s a while away, but I just had a bunch of travel books come off my holds list for our destination, so I’m starting to get excited about what we might do there.
– Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. So I had been watching This Is Us while cleaning the kitchen. But it’s the last season and I’m not ready to be done that. (Okay, last year was the last season, but I seem to watch everything at least one year late.) So I’ve switched to watching old episodes of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. I loved this show growing up, and would watch it every week – well until my parents got rid of tv, but that’s another story. I’m realizing, though, that I only started watching it halfway through Season Two, so I’ve started watching it from the beginning. Is it sentimental and unabashedly wholesome, with life lessons every week and lives frequently in peril. Without a doubt this is not the kind of edgy, ironic, brutal television that gets made these days. People might roll their eyes at this kind of family friendly fare, but I do wish that there were more shows like this to watch as a family these days.
-Lent. I’m not Catholic, but the Husband is and I look forward to Lent every year because then we get to eat more fish. I mean we could eat more fish any old time of the year, but we actually make an effort during Lent.

What We Ate: I didn’t meal plan at all this week – it was a combination of the Husband cooking and us throwing dinner together from fridge and pantry. Worked out fine, but man… I find the day stressful when I don’t have a plan for dinner. Food takes up too much real eastate in my brain.

Saturday: Pizza (the Husband made) and Newsies. It was my turn to pick the movie for Family movie night and I wanted to watch a musical. I had forgotten how good Newsies is. I love this movie so much! The music, the dancing newsboys. Square jawed Bill Pullman. Christian Bale. Christian Bale singing. (“Santa Feeeeeee! Are you there? Can you swear you won’t forget meeeee!”) My only quibble is the serious lack of female characters. I understand they tried to fix that with the musical theatre version they made. There is a caputre of the Broadway version available on Disney+ and I haven’t watched it yet because I’m torn between being really curious about it and thinking that the movie is perfect and not wanting another version.

Sunday: Super Bowl Sunday – I made Cheesesteaks, and our friends brought ribs (though I made the BBQ sauce), and baked beans, and coleslaw. I also put out cut up veggies and we had an assortment of TastyKakes.

Monday: Leftovers from Super Bowl Sunday plus some random things that we found in the fridge. Mixing the creamy pepper past with baked beans was a surprising hit with the kids.

Tuesday: Grilled Tofu with tomatoes from the Green Barbeque book. The husband made dinner. (vegan, except then we supplemented with some leftover ribs. We’re learning that the Green Barbeque book recipe’s need to be doubled in order to feel our whole family…)

Wednesday: The Pasta e Fagioli soup from last week. I had frozen the leftovers, and the Husband heated that up for the kids to eat for dinner. I should probably do freeze meals for future dinners more than I do right now. It’s such an easy dinner option. (vegan)

Thursday: Roasted Cauliflower Coconut Curry Soup. I was inspired by this recipe from the New York Times this week and had a head of cauliflower to use up. The recipe was for a squash soup, but it featured the brilliant idea of roasting the squash directly in the dutch oven. So I chopped up a head of cauliflower, two apples, four cloves of garlic, two ribs of celery, and an onion – tossed them in olive oil, salt and pepper in the Dutch Oven, then roasted them on 400 for about an hour. Everything got nice and caramelly. Then I put it on the stove top, dumped in 4 cups vegetable broth, a can of coconut milk and a tablespoon of curry powder and a teaspoon of tumeric. and brought it all to a boil and simmered for 15 minutes. At this point, I left it and told the Husband to puree it when he got home and serve it with bread. It was really tasty. Vegan.

Friday: Tortellini and red sauce. I think this is becoming our go-to meal for Friday Nights since we need something quick before basketball practice.
Anyone else have go to fast dinners for when there is just no time?

25 Better and Brilliant Things, 2022

Admittedly, the first day of February feels very late to reflect on the year that was – I’ve seen 2022 reflection posts pop up starting the end of November, so this definitely feels behind the ball. Oh well. Here are 25 things that made my life better or brilliant in 2022. It is by no means comprehensive – I’m sure there are a million better and brilliant things I’ve left off, but it’s a start. Not all of them were things that were new in 2022, just new to me or even re-discovered in 2022.

BETTER and BRILLIANT VERBS:

1. Toilet Training -The 3 year old is fully day time toilet trained!!! Both my older kids toilet trained quite old – the oldest one was almost three and the middle one was three and a half. So toilet training the youngest wasn’t really on my radar last year. My mother, however, decided that she wanted to try. Bless her. I’m not sure what magic she did, but the baby was toilet trained by the time she was 2.5 years old, both poop and pee. She is still in a diaper at night, but I figure that is definitely easier than having to change sheets. I was a little sad to pack up our stash of cloth diapers, but I’m so glad not to not have to carry a diaper bag anymore.

2. Tap to Camera: Did you know you can program your iPhone to do certain things when you tap the back of it? (Elisabeth knows, because I commented about this on her blog :)) This was probably my most mind-blowing discovery last year. (Maybe hyperbole. Maybe not.)
Settings –> Accessiblity –> Touch –> Back Tap
Then you can choose a function for when you Double Tap and when you Triple Tap. I’ve set my phone up so that when I tap twice on the back of the phone, the camera will open. No more swiping until I find the camera icon – so much cleaner and faster. I love it. I also love how Accessibility features really make things better for everyone.

3. Spinning to Choose – with three kids, there is always a fight over who gets to go first. Who gets to pick the first book, who gets to sit in the middle, who gets to go first for “Rose, Buds, and Thorns”, etc. etc. This year, we solved this problem by implementing a spinner. I’m sure you can get a paper one, but we use an online one. The Husband uses an app. This simple tool has cut out so many arguments. Because you can’t really argue with a spinner.

4. Bike Commuting and Running– My bike has sat in the garage since before the three year old was born. Before kids, I used to bike to work – five miles one way – but after kids, I sort of fell out of the habit. This year, we bought the 11 year old a bike, and when he went to pick it up, the Husband took my bike in for a tune up. Pretty soon, I was back to bike commuting. The first few weeks were pretty hard, but I took it slow, walked the bike uphill when I needed to. I loved getting that bit exercise endorphin before I start my work day. It’s been too cold to bike commute lately, but hopefully I’ll be back at it for my next show. On the same subject – in late 2021 the middle kid attended Sunday Mandarin school. Parents weren’t allowed to sit in class because of COVID precautions, so I started going on little runs/walks while he was in class. Last year, I decided that I wanted to make running more of a routine. I didn’t really have any exercise routine and something about turning 40 made me think about ways to combat my mortality. Exercise is on all the lists of healthy habits so it seemed like a good idea. So in 2022, I started finding time to run. It also helped that I went back to work where I could find child-free time to run on my dinner break. I bought running shoes. (My last pair were at least 10 years old and the soles were falling off). I found a “Walk to Run 1 Mile” podcast, and just started there. I still don’t love the act of running, but I realize that it has helped my mental and physical health immensely, so I’ll keep at it.

5. Brushing my teeth with the kids: I’ve been working on removing barriers to going to bed at a decent time, and one of them had been the litany of things I felt necessary to do before I actually got into bed, including brushing my teeth. Last fall I started brushing my teeth with the kids during their bedtime routine, and suddenly one of the barriers to bedtime was removed early in the evening. Also has the side benefit that I don’t snack in the evenings anymore. (My hack for two minute teeth brushing is this two minute podcast. The kids won’t brush without it.)

6. Travel: Even though we had done a few overnights and camping trips, in 2022 we took our first big family vacations in two and a half years. In April we went to The Smoky Mountains for Spring Break, and in August we rented a van and drove up to Montreal, stopping at various places along the way. (I still want to do a recap of the Montreal trip here… just haven’t gotten to it.) After the past two years staying within a 2 hour radius of home, it felt so special to get away and to see new things. Both trips were a nice combination of activities and relaxation, and I realized that both are pretty important to me on a vacation. I want to see all the things, but I also want to sit outside and read my book. We have one big trip planned for this year (who knows if we’ll be able to afford another), and I’m looking forward to it.

7. Going Back to Work: This was one of the big things from 2022. After being unemployed for almost two years – aside from a couple supertitle gigs at the end of 2021 – in February 2022 I finally was back at my home opera company doing opera for an audience. There was very frequent COVID testing and masking and, yes COVID continued to be thing and threw many obstacles in our way. Even still, after two year of wiping noses and behinds and tears it felt so great to be with grown ups, putting opera up onstage.

BETTER and BRILLIANT THINGS

8. Vox Books – Our library has these books that have an audio box built into them. They come in a variety of picture books, but also early readers and non-fiction books too. It reminded me of those books on tape that I had growing up, where there was a “ding” and you knew to turn the page. Vox Books were fantastic for the two little kids, and even the 11 year old was into them. They were such a life saver when I really didn’t have the energy or time to read to them because they could operate the books on their own, making them a great screen free way to spend some independent quiet time. Some of our favorites were The Couch Potato, Frog and Toad, and the National Geographic non-fiction series. There was also a series in Chinese, which I thought was nice for getting some of the language in the kids’ ears.

9. Bedside Lamp: One of my constant goals is better sleep hygeine (see above -“Teethbrushing with kids.”), specifically to cut down on the screens before bed and go to sleep at a decent time. Decent is relative and in my case it means before midnight. I do like to read before bed and I found that reading on my phone or iPad often lead to the temptation to scroll and go down internet rabbit holes. So this year, I got a lamp for my bedside and started reading hard copy books before bed. I’m shocked that it took me this long to figure this one out. It doesn’t work every night, but I’ve spent more nights with a paper book in hand rather than random internet holes and I’ve noticed the paper book leads to an easier winddown and I fall asleep faster.

10. Flip Belt: I had originally gotten this running belt to hold my phone and keys while running, but then I started wearing it backstage. When I went back to work, I had no black pants that really fit so I mostly wore my old maternity pants. Only problem was maternity pants have a very loose elastic waistband and no belt loops and non existent pocket – so not practical at all for being backstage. I needed something to which to clip the beltpack for my headset and I also needed to be able to carry my phone and a Sharpie. So one day, I had the brilliant idea of using my Flip Belt backstage. It was perfect; it’s strong enough to hold up the beltpack and I can carry my phone and a couple Sharpies in it as well. And for all the same reasons, wearing a Flip Belt made it possible to wear a dress backstage, which I like to do periodically.

11. Leggings with Tech Pockets: 2022 was also the year that I crawled out from under my rock and discovered there existed leggings with pockets. I know. It’s kind of ridiculous that it took me this long to realize that even though I had embraced leggings with my first pregnancy. Similar to the Flipbelt, leggings with pockets allowed me to wear comfy dresses at work, but still have a place to keep my phone. But also … I use a Hobonichi Weeks as my work planner/notebook, and it is slim enough that it fits into the tech pockets of my leggings. Now I can be running around in rehearsal or backstage and always have my notebook with me.

12. Straw Lids: I drink a lot of water. I love water. I also love cold water, so I have several insulated water bottles. However, I don’t like unscrewing water bottles to drink – it’s messy and requires two hands. My preference is for a straw top. But my favorite water bottles do not come with straw tops; they came with screw tops. I always thought my options were – the bottle size and shape I wanted or a straw top. Well, this year I discovered that one can just buy a straw top for one’s water bottle. This is another of those things where if I dig around a little, I discover that I don’t have to just live with the original features of something. Such a simple solution. I’ve replaced all my water bottle tops with straw tops.

13. Bombas Socks – Several years ago, when my friend told me that Bombas Socks were simply the best sock out there, I didn’t really think anything of it because, honestly, they seemed awfully expensive for socks and I’ve always been a little skeptical of anything with a cult following. But last winter, I was trying to replace my Costco brand Merino wool socks and it turns out they were discontinued, so I gave in to the hype and ordered myself some Bombas. Reader, they were life changing. These socks are soft and thick, and just the right amount of snug to be secure but not too tight. They wear like iron, yet don’t chafe. I love them so much that I’ve become quite protective of them – gone are the days when I just toss my socks in the laundry basket to be washed, and then never get a matching pair back. The Bombas go into a lingerie bag to get washed so that I know where they are so that they always come back in pairs and no one else in the family will try to wear them. The family knows that the Bombas are for mom only. Wear them at your peril.

BETTER AND BRILLIANT FOOD THINGS:

14. Favorite new dinner to use up veggies – This year I discovered Sheet Pan Gnocchi and it has become one of my favorite ways to clean out the vegetable drawer and get dinner on the table in 30 minutes. Basically you take whatever veggies you have on hand, cut them up to a size that will roast in 20 minutes, mix the veggies and gnocchi in a bowl with olive oil, salt, pepper and whatever herbs and spices you want. Then throw it all in a single layer in a sheet pan and roast at 400 for 20-30 minutes. Easy prep, easy clean up, tasty dinner. What’s more brilliant than that? (It also reminds me of a tip once I heard that the first step for getting dinner on the table is that the first thing you do when you walk in the door after work is either put a pot of water to boil on the stove or preheat the oven. I don’t know why that tip has stuck with me, but something about starting that first step right away makes dinner seem like a very real possibility.)

15. Soda Stream and flavored balsamic vinegars – Back in 2019 my brother gifted me a Soda Stream. He drinks a lot of fizzy water. I liked the idea of the Soda Stream, but could never get it to work, so I put it in the attic. Well, in 2022, for some reason, I thought I’d pull it out and try it again. We had been buying fizzy water by the case from Costco, and while it wasn’t exactly breaking the bank, it also wasn’t the most convenient or eco friendly way to get my bubbly fix. Well, the Soda Stream gets used all the time now. I still drink flat water, but during dinner or when I want something that feels a little special, I’ll fizz myself up some thing. I love how the Soda Stream lets me customize how fizzy I want my water- I like it super fizzy so that it almost burns when going down – and also cuts down on the bottles and cans in the recycling bin.
Also last year, I went on a trip with a girlfriend and we came across a bar which served non-alcoholic drinks that were basically fizzy water mixed with fruit flavored balsamic vinegars. I became immediately obsessed. The sour tang of the vinegar combined with the slight fruity sweetness was just the right hint of flavor to make plain fizzy water feel special. Luckily, the bar was attached to a place that sold flavored balsamic vinegars and I bought several bottles to bring home. My favorites right now are white balsamic peach and blackberry ginger balsamic.

16. Sides from the freezer: I used to be quite snobbish about frozen/ prepared foods. This year, I embraced the brilliant convenience of pulling something out of the freezer, applying heat and having a side dish for dinner. The two things that changed my mind this year: tater tots and frozen edamame. These were two things we always love eating when we go out to eat, and it had never occurred to me that we could enjoy them at home too. Well, no more. They’re in regular dinner time rotation now.

17. Pizza dough from the Italian Deli: This is something the Husband discovered this year – that our favorite Italian deli also sells pizza dough. And it’s far better tasting than the pizza dough that we made at home. While there is something really satisfying about making our own pizza dough, it requires a degree of forethought that we don’t always have come the end of the week when we have our pizza and movie night. The pizza dough from Felippos bakes up beautifully and makes homemade pizza night so much easier. And that’s what we want on a Friday night – easy.

18. New favorite snack, Bobo Oat Bites: I saw these at Costco one day and picked up a box. I’m always looking for new snack options and I liked that these were vegan and gluten free. They are basically dense oat muffins with a dollop of jam inside. I always feel like oats make for a really filling snack and will keep the hunger at bay longer, though I don’t really have any real basis for this thought. These oat bites became my go to after rehearsal snack – portable, filling, and just a little sweet. I will say, the eleven year old did not like them – I think she thought they weren’t sweet enough. Oh well, more for me!

19. Favorite new easy protein, Marinated Beans – I found this recipe for marinated beans in Jenny Rosenstrach’s new cookbook The Weekday Vegetarian (another of my 2022 Better and Brilliant things). I was looking for an easy vegan way to have a protein always ready, particularly for when I came home late at night and wanted something quick. The vegan equivalent of standing in front of the fridge door eating lunch meat out of the package, if you will. These marinated beans were packed with flavor and so versatile. I could toss them in a salad, or with some grains, or just eat them on their own.

BETTER AND BRILLIANT MEDIA I didn’t include books in this – just tv, movies, and podcasts that made life better for me last year.

20. Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries – This was my number one favorite show last year. Cozy murder mysteries, stylish costumes, an intrepid and madcap heroine, an uptight yet kind hero, just a hint of romance simmering. I am so sad they only made three seasons of this show. I watched it on Hoopla via my local library.

21. The Puberty Podcast – Most of the parenting podcasts out there are geared towards younger children. This podcast is one of the few that are focused on older kids. I love that it approaches parenting older kids with a blend of science and empathy. They explain what the physiological changes are and also how to navigate tricky subjects with tweens and teens. And I love that they will often give me the text I need to communicate with my kid. I find often advice books tell you how to approach your kids, but just not the words to use to take that approach. The episodes on body hair, periods, and how to talk about sex with your children were so eye opening to me, and I have used those podcasts to have conversations with my kids.

22. As It Happens – When I was growing up in Canada, we would listen to As It Happens every evening after dinner, an interview style news program on the CBC. Last year I discovered the podcast version of As It Happens and I listen to it every night as I make dinner and it reminds me of my childhood. I wouldn’t call As It Happens hard hitting journalism, but there is something really straightforward and empathetic about the subjects they choose to interview – it’s not always the people who are in the thick of an event – it might be an academic expert, or someone who lives in the adjacent building. What I love is that on this show, it’s okay for the guest to say, “I can’t answer that” because the interviews aren’t really about uncovering the truth, but rather shedding light on the humans behind the story. This show actually drives the Husband nuts because he thinks it is too subjective.

23. Family Movies: We watched some really great family movies this year, ones which weren’t animated features and which also managed to keep all three kids interested. (Well, the 3 year old has minimal interest unless it’s Frozen, to be honest). I feel like these kinds of movie that don’t get made anymore – the true family film that wears it’s heart on its sleeve and is full of positive messages. Some of my favorites we watched this year: Akeelah and the Bee, Secondhand Lions, A Little Princess (1995), Cool Runnings, and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. (I’ll always take more suggestions!)

24. Long Thoughtful Conversation Podcasts: One of my favorite indulgences is to go on long walks while listening to a good long conversation – you know, those conversations where two people talk about life and living and our place in the world. My go to podcast for this was On Being, the original “What does it mean to be human?” podcast. On Being went on a little pause last year- though they will be back this week! In the meantime, I’ve discovered The Ezra Klein Show, Design Matters with Deborah Millman, and 10% Happier with Dan Harris. Although I will note, listening to these podcasts always makes me grateful that I have the luxury of being able to contemplate the existential life.

25. Bloggers – I started this blog in 2020, and just wrote quietly for a while, keeping in my own little internet corner. I think for the first year or so the only people who read were my mother and an old mentor/colleague. I loved reading other blogs, getting a glimpse into other people’s worlds and thoughts and philosophies and practices. Even still, though I love reading comments, I never really commented myself. All those blogs with lots of comments seemed like such a different level than my vomit of thoughts and recollections and life accountings. I think I’m a pretty private person and very slow to put myself out in front of the world. (Which maybe makes it ironic that I have a blog?). I don’t know what changed, but last year I started leaving comments here and there. I think I was really moved by all the thoughtful things that people were writing about, and wanted to respond to that. And the more I read the comments in other people’s blogs, the more I grew to love the sense of community and engagement that I saw there. And lo and behold, people started visiting on my blog, even leaving pensive comments and bits of humour and words of support and advice. The reciprocity of thought continues to feel like a gift every day and with every post. Discovering that I don’t write in a vacuum has definitely made the list of things that made 2022 Better and Brilliant and Beautiful. I hope you continue to visit and I will do likewise.

What’s making your life better and brilliant these days?


Weekly recap + what we ate: Back to school and back to work

Three backpacks ready for school!

We are now into September! It seems like some switch of nature was flipped and starting on the first day of September we’ve been having breezy, cool morning. I would almost call them crisp! And the rest of the days have been warm, but not overbearingly so. I am glad for the shift away from the oppressive heat of this past summer months.

The two big kids started school this week. Starting before Labor Day still seems early to me, a kind of like a false start. And starting the Monday before Labor day certainly makes a long first week, particularly since I don’t believe we have any full weeks of school until October thanks to various holidays and half days.

I was a little nervous about the five year old starting a French Immersion program. It is total immersion – the teacher won’t speak English to the parents in front of the kids and parent volunteers are not allowed to speak English when they volunteer in the classroom. I’m excited to see how it all plays out, even though I have a billion questions in my head about the practicalities and logistics of how my son is going to get through his day. I have to remember that the program has been in place in our county for over 40 years, so I imagine they’re doing something right!

I did teach the five year old to say “les toilettes” before he started, though.

The ten year old’s bus didn’t come to the stop the first day so the Husband had to drive her to school. I’m so glad he took the morning off for the first day of school. I called the bus depot later that day and received a vague answer to my inquiries as to why the bus didn’t show. “The driver knows to stop there now. It will be there tomorrow,” I was told. And it was.

She is starting a new school, which I imagine must be tough to start new in fifth grade, but she seems to be liking it a lot. I certainly debated whether it was a good idea to pull her from her old school, and now I know for sure it was the right thing to do. She looks so much happier coming off the bus at the end of the day than she did last year. I’m kicking myself for not switching schools sooner, but hindsight is 20/20, they say.

With three kids at three different schools, I was a little nervous about morning logistics. The baby needs to be at daycare by 9, the five year old’s bus picks up at 9:06am at a location about a three minute drive away from home, and the ten year old’s bus comes at 9:00am, two blocks from our house. And through good luck and kind people, it’s been going pretty smoothly. We have neighbors whose oldest kid is also starting in the French immersion program, and whose youngest is in the same daycare class as the baby. So every morning the ten year old walks the baby to the neighbors and brings their older kid to our house. The neighbors do drop off and pick up for the two preschoolers. I take the two kindergarteners to the school bus, and the Husband picks them up from the bus stop at the end of the day. It works out well because my work day starts late and the Husband’s work day ends early whereas our neighbors have a more conventional work day so doing the bus run would be harder for them. It’s only been one week, but I’m optimistic that this can be a good long term solution.

So my first child free morning… I felt a little adrift. For three years, I’ve pretty much always had a kid with me when I wasn’t working – aside from my girls’ weekend earlier this year and that day the Husband and I went to New York. So with my kid free time, I ran some errands then decided to go to the local botanical gardens where I read my book for a little bit and had a phone call with my sister in law. Then one of my good friends texted, asking if I needed anything from Costco. And I texted back, “Can I come too?”

So yeah, I spent part of my first child-free morning at Costco. Buying all the snacks. I think there are times when I have to embrace the fact that I am a suburban mom. Mid morning Costco runs are one of those times. On the other hand, I love having errand dates with friends.

Summer at the Botanical Gardens

The last two days of the week I started back at work on a show that I’m very very excited about, Leonard Bernstein’s MASS. It’s a piece I’ve always wanted to work on, but it isn’t really an opera, and it requires a lot of singers and musicians so it’s not something I would have done in the course of my regular opera work. However, the symphony is doing the piece this month, and back in May when I found out my friend was stage managing it, I said, “I’m free in September, if you need an assistant.” And yay! Now I get to work on it. I’ve been listening to the music and the score is so so so good!

Some good things this week:

  • I confirmed dates for the supertitle job that I did last year. I’m really excited about being able to have more work dates to put in my calendar for the 2022-2023 season, plus I really do like doing supertitle work.
  • I found my work ID. I had thought I’d misplaced it but I found it right in time for my new gig. It’s such a silly thing, but finding it made me so happy.
  • I helped the 10 year old do something that I was kind of dreading and didn’t think I would have to do quite yet or be any good at. I’m being vague – it’s her story to tell, honestly, but it was a good bonding moment and I’m glad that we figured it out.
  • I met up with a friend for a walk, and we saw turtles in the pond along the trail! Also – this friend was just in Canada, and I half jokingly had asked her to bring me back wine gums since the baby had finished off the bag that I had brought home from our Montreal trip. Well my friend brought me back three bags! I was so excited.
Hello Turtle.
Happiness!
  • I canned and froze a bunch of peaches. This was also a bit of a loss because I waited a bit too long to can the peaches and some of them had gone bad before I got to them, which made me sad. But I still got seven jars and two trays of August peaches to eat in January.
Peaches to remind me in January what summer tasted like.
  • Dance parties in the kitchen as I clean up from dinner. The ten year old is great at helping wipe down the table and sweep the dining room, but the two littles are less helpful. They do provide some entertainment with their kitchen dance parties. I don’t listen to music enough to curate a cleaning play list, but luckily many other people have and I’ll often just type “cleaning” into the Spotify search function and hit play on whatever play lists come up. Usually it’s something that makes for great dancing:
Such goofy dancers. And the dishes still undone.
  • The Husband and I rarely have the same taste in tv watching, but we found a show to binge together – The Year of the Rabbit. It’s on Britbox, so we signed up for the free week trial just to watch this show, which I had read about on the website FrockFlicks. Year of the Rabbit is a hilarious, bizarre, smart comedy about a trio of Victorian era policemen – well two policeman and one aspiring policewoman who is trying to fight the patriarchy. “That isn’t even a thing,” she is told at one point. It came out in 2019 and there are, sadly, only six episodes. But given the Husband and my terribly track record for finishing series, six episodes was a perfect length for binging. Highly recommend.

And here’s the obligatory first day of school picture:

First Day of School!

We are headed into the last long weekend of the year. Plans and aspirations:
– Farmer’s market
-meal plan for the week. I’m working several nights, so I want to have solid dinner plans in place.
– Closet re-assessment, especially going into work season, figuring what I’m going to wear since nursing tanks and shorts isn’t really work appropriate.
-Order shoes. My current shoe have holes in the toes. I hate shoe shopping, so will probably just place a huge Zappos order and see what works.
-Pool with kids. Closing weekend of our pool so I want to get one more day in
– Renaissance Faire! I haven’t been since before the five year old was born, so I’m really looking forward to this. Huzzah!
-Run? I’m starting back into it now that I’m back at work. Going slow – a 1/4 mile at a time.
– Relax with a book. I like to rotate books, so I have in my current reading pile: Mother Trucker, The Self Driven Child, Boyfriend Material, Tiny Habits, and A Lovely War on audio.
– A little bit of work – I want to organize my score to feel better prepared for rehearsals to start on Monday.
– Order socks and underwear for the kids.
-Bake muffins for snacking next week.

What We Ate: I did clean out the pantry last weekend! I meal planned around some stuff that I wanted to eat up and made a mental note of things to use up in the near future. I gave myself permission to throw away the random ingredients that someone buys – usually from the Asian grocery store – because they they it will make me happy to figure out how to cook it (Good-bye, honey panko crumbs and dried lily root bulbs and five year old dried cranberries brought home from Canada.) And I set up a snack bin for the two big kids to be able to participate in packing their own lunches.

Actually the ten year old has mostly been packing her own lunches for a while, and I wanted to five year old to start doing it as well. It has been pretty hit or miss with him. I’ll make his sandwich and cut up the fruit and cucumber and he will put it all into his lunch box and then add a snack from the snack bin – I guess that is a good start. And then of course, one morning the baby pulled the lunch snack bin out of the pantry and got a pair of scissors and proceeded to cut open and eat a bunch of the snacks. This is why I can’t shower in the mornings.

We’re trying to have more vegan dinners this month and I managed three out of five weekday dinners to be vegan this week (Monday, Tuesay, and Thursday)- which I think is pretty good.

Saturday: Pizza at a birthday pool party.

Sunday: Pizza (made by the Husband) and Movie. Guardians of the Galaxy vol.2. Even though I hadn’t seen the first Guardian of the Galaxy movie, I was able to enjoy the second one without too much confusion. It was a surprisingly affecting movie.

Monday: Tempeh Arugula Sandwiches from Bad Manner’s Brave New World cookbook – I have the cookbook, but you can find the recipe here. These sandwiches were really good, though they involved a bit of prep – the tempeh had to be marinated and cooked ahead of time and so did the cashew cheese. But once I had all the elements of the sandwich, it was a pretty quick meal. I have to say, it was my first time making cashew cheese, and though I wouldn’t really call it cheese, it was certainly delicious and the leftovers made a great dip for tortilla chips.

Tuesday: Eggplant Pasta from Milk Street’s Tuesday Night Mediterranean. I also added zucchini because we had some to use up from last week.

Wednesday: Couscous with Tomatoes and Shrimp. The Husband was out that night, so I made shrimp, which he doesn’t usually care for. I used up half a package of couscous that had been lingering in the pantry. Recipe from Milk Street’s Tuesday Night Mediterranean.

Thursday: Instant Pot Black-eye Pea and Spinach curry from InstantPot Indian, eaten with naan. This was another of the pantry inspired meals. I was working this day so I wanted to make something for the family to eat in case I didn’t get home in time for dinner. The two littles pretty much ate the naan, but everyone else liked this a lot. I thought that bag of naan from Costco would last us for a few meals. I was wrong. We ate the whole bag.

Friday: Take out sandwiches enjoyed while chatting with friends and listening to music at the local golf courses’ Friday night music concerts.

Weekly recap + what we ate: tech and Mother’s Day

Stage Right Prop Table

It’s half way through tech week, and it’s been a particularly hard one. The show is on the large side – there’s ninety performers onstage, a gazillion props and costumes, and, the realities of doing theatre in a world that is very much still in a pandemic, people are constantly in and out on five day isolations or ten day isolations. Precautions are being taken, but … life, you know. I’m feeling constantly like I’m playing catch up, barely getting people onstage in time with the right prop and often in the wrong costume. It will get better and we will have a great show, but everything feels hard right now. As I keep saying when things don’t go right – everyone needs rehearsal. The singers get three weeks to figure out the show and for some reason everyone expects the crew to get it right the first time. But they need a chance to figure things out too and some shows are easier to figure out than others.

It’s my first time back in this particular theatre in over two years. Strange to think about. The crew is mostly familiar, but everyone has a wary air of tiredness, caution, and welcome.

Sunday was Mother’s Day. And a day off. I think if I’d had time to think about it, what I really wanted for Mother’s Day would have been three hours alone to catch up on bills and other computer tasks. And also to deal with the growing mountain that is my “floordrobe”.

Actually it’s more like a “bench-drobe”. Coming home after midnight, when everyone is asleep means that I don’t want to turn on the lights in the bedroom for fear of waking the Husband. So I fumble around in the dark to get into my pjs, shedding that day’s clothes onto the bench at the foot of the bed, and fall into bed. Inevitably it leads to a mountain of clothes, a week’s worth in a pile on the bench , spilling on to the floor. I could pretend that when I am not working til past midnight I carefully and thoughtfully hang up my clothes, or put them in the hamper, but truth… when I’m not working til midnight the pile is still there, but usually only three days worth.

A lot gets said these days about self care, but for me I think a big part of self care is tackling the looming things so I don’t stress about them. There is a passage in the novel Fleishman is in Trouble where the newly divorced main character’s therapist tells him to buy nice curtains for his new apartment, telling him to think of it as an act of self care. And Fleishman remarks that self care isn’t spending his money on new curtains, it’s saving his money so that he can move into a less crappy apartment. I think of this a lot when the question of “self care” comes up. I find that it’s easy to find twenty minutes for yoga or a run or to sit and read a book, but it’s harder to find the energy to tackle the things that really would make life better. Like figuring out summer camp for the ten year old (still not done yet!), squaring away the bills for the rental house. Buying pants.

This last is a big one. I came out of the pandemic without black pants that fit. Which is problematic when a large chunk of my job requires me to move around in the dark wearing black clothes. The last few shows I just pulled out my old maternity pants. Which was fine because I was stage managing so I pretty much stood i once place and my headset was attached to my console. Now that I’m Assistant Stage Managing, I need pants with a firm waistband so I can clip my flashlight and headset belt pack to a belt. Yoga pants do not serve this purpose. Post pandemic stage manager woes.

Anyhow, back to Mother’s Day…despite my desire for some life admin time, it seemed to me, that shutting myself in my room and leaving the Husband on child duty after he’s been solo parenting in the evening for two weeks was not the nice thing to do, Mother’s Day or not. So I said I would be happy getting some tasty food, going on a walk, and not having to think too hard about dinner.

And we did indeed do all that. Everyone let me sleep in until almost ten and there were pancakes waiting when I woke up. Sleeping til ten sounds positively indulgent but when I figured I didn’t get home from rehearsal until 2am the night before, 2:30am- 10am is actually a regular night’s sleep.

There was a card and a gift bag waiting for me. Inside the bag were a bag of almond flour and a package of lychee gummies. My reaction was a combination of “Huh… ooookay” and “They know me so well!” And then there was this priceless card:

I had originally wanted to give the Husband the day off from kid duty, but he insisted since it was Mother’s Day, we should do some family things. So we took the five year old to Sunday language class, then with the other two kids in the car we went for fun drinks and snacks at a new-to-us Cuban place. Empanadas and plantain chips for the win!

When the five year old was done language class, we went for a walk on the trails surrounding one of the local nature centers. We wandered down by the stream and practiced skipping rocks. I managed to skip one three times! I’d never been really good at it, but the Husband gave me some tips and I think I sort of got the hang of it. Then we ordered Indian food for takeout.

After dinner the Ten year old offered to clean up so the Husband and I were going to take some time to discuss all the life things that we hadn’t had a chance to connect about since we hadn’t really hd any waking hours together. But I fell asleep on the couch and that was the end of things for me. I think it was 7:30pm. But, we did check off all the Mother’s Day wishes on my list, so I think I will call that a win.

Some things that made the week better:

  • A Haiku for this week:

    April turns to May.
    Spring teeters on summer’s brink.
    Rain and sun and green.
  • Some time during the pandemic, our rehearsal rooms had larger windows put it, and the resulting flood of light is quite wonderful. During evening rehearsals, when we have almost ninety people in the room trying to stage a very busy village square type scene, I can look out the window and take a moment to savor the pink and orange sunset. I snapped this picture the other day of the late afternoon transforming my little corner of the rehearsal hall into some kind of of Dutch still life.
  • The toddler has started saying, “I love you, mom.” That makes me feel pretty good. She also, an independent soul, has developed her own “ism” where whenever she wants to do something, she says, “I want to do it by my own!”. I love it too much to try to correct her.
  • Also – irritating, but makes me laugh – the toddler getting ahold of my phone and filling my photo roll like this:
View from a toddler.
  • Scheduled a happy hour with the mom’s from my mom’s group. Something to look forward to.
  • Been baking some pretty good loaves of sourdough bread, using this no-knead recipe. My starter seems to have gotten back on it’s feet, after being somewhat lackluster for much of the spring. This recipe, is pretty hands off and each step fits easily into the windows of time when I’m home.
  • Overnight camping with some friends. The time outdoors was nice, and even though sleeping in a tent with a toddler is not restful – six o’clock in the morning she wakes me up with yelling, “It’s too bright!!” – there is something peaceful about being surrounded by dew and bird calls first thing in the morning.
morning view from the tent.
  • Re-discovering the tv show Pushing Daisies – whimsical, romantic, funny and visually stunning, I remember watching this series about a pie maker who can wake the dead when it first came out. The Husband and I have started watching it again, fifteen years after it originally aired. We watch one episode at a time, knowing that there are only two season and wanting to prolong the delight of watching it.
  • Discovering another lovely tv show Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. This show out of Australia and based on a series of books is also great fun and super stylish. Some days when I work late, I tell the Husband to leave the kitchen for me to clean up. Partly I’m being nice, but also partly I want an excuse to watch an episode of this show, which I stream while I do the washing up.
  • Then of course, my co-workers who make me laugh even when we are literally in horse shit.

What We Ate:

Saturday: I was working, but this was the night the Husband took the kids camping with some friends. I showed up at the campground after work and had a couple sandwiches and ‘smores for dinner. I think everyone else had hot dogs and burgers.

Sunday: Leftovers.

Monday: The Husband made a tofu stir fry.

Tuesday: Not quite sure what everyone ate. It might have been Thai take-out.

Wednesday: Black Beans, made in the InstantPot before I went to work. Eaten with tortillas and pickled onions.

Thursday: Chicken tortilla soup. Also made in the InstantPot. Recipe from America’s Test Kitchen

Friday: Pizza and Hercules. I was at work.

Saturday: I think the family got take out. I ate leftovers at work.

Sunday: Mother’s Day Indian Food take out.