In the Venn Diagram of Motherhood, with one circle being “Utterly Devoted Mother” and the other circle being, “Mom that drops the ball”, I found myself squarely in the overlap earlier this week, standing in the Giant grocery store at 8:30pm, the night before the ten year old’s birthday with a pre-inflated Happy Birthday balloon in one hand, and a ginormous bag of Takis and a slightly smaller bag of Cheetos cradled in my arms.
Because even though I had written in my December Aspirations List “Plan Birthday Party”, I utterly failed to do it. I don’t know why I have a mental block about this. Well, I can think of a couple of reasons: 1- I hate making decisions. And a birthday celebration is a myriad of decisions. 2- Her birthday is two weeks after Christmas. I know the flip of the calendar to a new year is a societal construct, but 2023 seems so far away during the tail end of 2022. 3 – Birthdays are just … not my thing. So it’s hard to prioritize them.
But… I love my family and my family loves Birthdays. So there I was at Giant. Why Giant? Well, I got stuck at work til 7:20pm, and by the time I got to Party City at 7:50pm, ten minutes before closing, the doors were already locked. Now I get that the last thing an underpaid sales associate wants to do ten minutes before closing is inflate eleven balloons; I don’t blame them entirely. But still… There might have been some cries of utter despair in the parking lot at 7:50pm.
Feeling defeated, I headed to Giant, since it was still open, and I figured – I didn’t get the kid a present, but I could still get her a bag of Takis. She would love a giant bag of Takis! Buying my kids Takis also fall into a Venn Diagram as well. One circle being “Things that make my kid happy” and the other circle being “Things that aren’t Legos”. Legos are great and full of creative possibilities. They also hurt a lot when you step on them, and are very frustrating when your younger siblings mess with them when you’ve only completed bag 3 of 6.
Luckily, Giant happened to have balloons, maybe not eleven, but they had some nice large foil ones. Only, there was no one working who could inflate the balloons. More cries of despair. I mean I’m already feeling pretty lame for a) not planning a birthday event, and b) deciding that a bag of Takis was a perfectly acceptable birthday present. Way back when, I used to get the oldest roses on her birthday, one rose for every year. But then, you know what? Roses are expensive, and they just die. So I stopped doing that. The very nice manager at customer service apologetically delivered the news that there was no one available to inflate my chosen Happy Birthday Unicorn-shaped balloon, but there were some pre-inflated balloons tied to the magazine displays at each register, and maybe one of those would work. There was one, a 36″ cupcake, that I thought might be okay, though it didn’t seem at it’s peak inflation point, but by this point it was 8:45pm and beggars could be choosers and all that.
Now you may ask, why am I the one running too and fro trying to make it look like I actually planned a special day evening? Well, that’s another Venn diagram of motherhood – one circle is “Mom guilt”, and the other circle is “Loves my kid.” And in the middle is “impulsive purchases.” The Husband, on the other hand, had only one job – the ten (soon to be eleven) year old wanted the Husband’s Kung Pao Chicken for Birthday dinner.
(Side note: It has come to my attention that my children like to eat meat and the lack of meat at the dinner table has not gone unnoticed. Just the other day, I had this exchange with the kids: Mom: Do you guys like to go camping? Five Year Old: Yessssss! Mom: What’s you’re favorite part of camping? Five Year Old: We get to eat meat! Apparently Meat beats out campfires and fresh air and smores. )
So the Husband would make kung pao chicken, and I was at Giant.
It was all fine. It’s all fine. I’m a little salty that it feels like a lot of work for very little credit – which probably explains this little internet pity party, I’m throwing myself. It’s just that evening Giant runs are not like the type of thing where I can say to my kid, “See how much I love you? I stood in line for a balloon and Takis at 8:30pm on a school night!” (Though I do constantly remind her that I let the doctors cut me open to bring her into the world. Gah! I hope I’m not scarring her for life.) Aside from the fact that I don’t want to burden her with my mom guilt, I also don’t want to admit how utterly unprepared I was for her birthday. And at least I got to go home and kiss her goodnight before bed. There were many people working at the Giant that still had many hours left in their shift.
So here’s another Venn diagram from that evening: “People who are kind to me” and “People who work very late hours at the grocery check out.” And the nice folks at Giant are squarely in that overlap. And I’m grateful.
The festive events are starting to really populate our calendar. Last weekend, we took the kids to the Trolley Museum for their holiday display and trolley ride with Santa. This checked a lot of boxes on the Holiday fun list – there was model trains, Santa, and crafts. The two little kids went on the trolley ride twice so got to ask Santa for toys twice. The first time, the baby asked for a rubber crocodile. The second time, both kids asked for a train set. Spoiler alert – they are not getting a rubber crocodile.
Sunday the ten year old and I went Christmas shopping at the mall. I haven’t done that in an age! We also had lunch there, and there was a really tasty Korean noodle place in the food court. I love how food court options have really expanded since I was a kid. The ten year old had Shake Shack. I find malls a little exhausting for all the choice that is there. We were there to get calendars, but also ended up in the candy store. There were wine gums and Dairy Milk, so I guess it was an okay pit stop. The we stopped at Michaels and we indulged in that fad of taking pictures in the floral section:
Monday was Merry TubaChristmas! It’s a concert where tuba players of all ages from across the region get together to play Christmas carols. The Husband and I have been going to TubaChristmas since we were dating; it’s one of our Christmas must dos. I think one year I was working and couldn’t go, but except for that year, and 2020, we’ve gone every December. It’s always fun to go see all the tubas decorated for the holidays and to hear them play Christmas tunes and feel the floor vibrate for the very lowest notes. They always invite the kids up to sing Jingle Bells, and the three year old took to the stage without hesitation, with the ten year old running up behind her to make sure she could get up onstage okay. The five year old didn’t want to go up at first, but when he saw that his sisters were both up there, he went up too.
That’s a lot of brass. And there were even more in the balconies.
The rest of the week was pretty chill. There was a “snow” delay on Wednesday because of an anticipated storm. It ended up just being rainy and cold, but I was still fine with school starting two hours later and having a slower morning.
I went to the library one day and hoped to pick up some holiday/Christmas books, but the pickings were super slim. I guess that is to be expected mid-December. I usually go the week leading into Christmas but since I wasn’t really going to do Advent books this year, I didn’t feel the same sense of urgency. Maybe I should just buy some more Christmas picture books?
The five year old’s class had a gingerbread house decorating event on Friday morning, which I went to. It was actually graham crackers attached to small milk cartons with frosting, but I’m sure it’s all the same as long as there is a surface to attach candy. Lessons learned: – Get the thick popsicle sticks to spread frosting. The tongue depressor size. – do not get the shrink wrapped candy canes. By the time you get the plastic off there are broken pieces and frustrated kids. – the cutting edge on the Saran Wrap is sharp. -kids like decorating with those red and white peppermint candies, but do not like to eat them.
Also … one parent brought Hot Tamales candy. I thought that was a curious choice. Maybe a little unfortunate for those kids who were unfamiliar with them and thought they were Mike and Ikes. But I don’t know… maybe there are kids out there who like Hot Tamales? My did certainly did not.
Thank goodness for the mask, otherwise enforcing the “no licking, no eating” rule would have been hard.
One week til Christmas and hopefully I’m in an okay place. On the to do list still: -grocery shop. I have the menu mostly planned. – Holiday cards for the kids teachers. We’re going to paint some blank cards this weekend. I have to pick up some gift cards to go in them this week. -Put our Christmas cards in the mail. They are all addressed and stamped, I just have to walk them down to the mailbox. This feels pretty late. Every year I say I’ll do it sooner, but it never works out that way. – Order presents for my brother’s family. They don’t celebrate Christmas so I’m not that concerned with making the December 25th deadline for this. -Order present for my parents. I’m gifting them Storyworth this year. It’s a service that sends the recipient weekly questions about their life and the recipient writes and answer, and can upload pictures. At the end of 52 weeks, the company take all the answers and put them together in a book. It’s a virtual gift so I don’t feel panicked about that either, as long as I order it this week sometime. -Pickup one last present for the 10 year old. She wanted some Barbie accessories. This stuff was specifically on her letter to Santa. I’m always surprised that she still plays with Barbies, but I think she just really likes setting up little scenes. I’m going to pick up some plates and tiny food from the craft store. (The stuff says “for decoration only. Not a toy.” so I had a moment of pause. But I figure it’s fine for a ten year old.) The rest of the kids’ presents are mostly done. I think. The Husband is in charge of the toys. I try to stick to some version of “Want, need, read, wear” categories for the kids, plus one Santa gift. I take care of the “need, read, wear” and the Husband does “want” and “Santa”. Clearly he’s the fun parent. -Stocking stuffers – mostly candy and snack food, but other things if the mood strikes. Last year, in a somewhat self-serving mood, I got everyone a small kitchen gadget. This year we’ve got small things from the arts supply store and matchbox cars so far. -Maybe one more present for the Husband if I can make it to the right store. – organize some activities and playdates for the winter break. Also buy tickets to a Christmas movie. -Pre-make cookie dough. We’re having some kids over to decorate cookies during winter break.
So not too much, I hope, to get done in one week if I’m purposeful about it.
Speaking of baking… I’ve been thinking about my Holiday Baking aspirations. Most of my ideas this year comes from the Cooks Illustrated Holiday Baking magazine – some of the recipes are a little fussy, so the holidays are the perfect time, I feel, to put in the effort. This year I would like to bake: -Molasses cookes (chewy and spicy kind) – Sugar cookies and gingerbread cookies for decorating -Sticky Toffee Pudding, our traditional Christmas dessert -Eggnog Bundt cake. Because the Bundt pan I got this year has been woefully underused. -Cinnamom buns for Christmas morning, as is our tradition. This I usually use the recipe from either The Irish Pantry or King Arthur’s Flour. -Chex mix. Have to have something savory. -rolls for Christmas Dinner. -And I’ve already made apple cranberry crisp. It was a recipe from that Cooks Illustrated magazine and it was a great way to use up the leftover bowl of cranberry sauce from Thanksgiving. I’m going to put this crisp into post Thanksgiving rotation because we always have so much leftover cranberry sauce.
My holiday cooking bible.
Grateful for This Week: – The ten year old’s school music program. They had their Holiday Choral Concert this year and it was really cute. At her old school, Choir was an extracurricular so kids had to opt in to do it and got pulled out of class. At her new school, it’s just part of the regular music class. I really like that the school feels like music performance is important enough that all kids should participate. – Finding parking just a half block from the restaurant on Monday night after TubaChristmas. Also grateful for the Restaurant itself, Chinatown Express, where tehy hand make their noodles. We went to this restaurant, partly because the Husband had been there with the kids the day before and had left the 5 year old’s hat there. So aside from this place having really really good food, we had a practical reason for going there. But… it is also smack in the middle of Chinatown, next to the arena and there was a game that night so parking was a challenge. We circled the area for about fifteen minutes and were about to give up when someone pulled out and we snagged their parking spot. And it was just a half block from the restaurant. A true holiday miracle. And the staff at the restaurant are always super nice and they put up with my attempts to speak half in Chinese and they smile when the kids’ say “xie xie.” The biggest surprise was that the baby loves Chinese broccoli! She grabbed the thick stalk in her hand and just chowed down on it and then had two more pieces. She ate a vegetable!!! So exciting! – Libraries and librarians. I had a book that I just can’t find – it’s in the house somewhere, but I don’t know where it ended up. Anyhow because of that book being waaaay overdue, there is a hold on my library card. I was going to just pay for the book, but the librarian gave me that sly look that they do and just clicked a few things and electronically returned the book and re-checked it out to me. “I’m just going to give you nine more weeks to find it,” she said to me. – Not being at my old summer job. I’ve been off Facebook for over a year now, but this week, I popped back on as I was doing Christmas cards and I have a few friends who had gotten married and I had to Facebook stalk them to figure out the correct last names to put on the cards. Anyhow… it was kind of an overwhelming vortex black hole of … noise and news and happenings. Before I could log off, I saw a whole bunch of posts about this one company that I used to work for. I had left under difficult circumstances, and I had been very sad to leave, and I always somewhat regret not being there still. It’s also a part of why I no longer log into Facebook since I found I couldn’t deal with seeing any news about the company or my colleagues and friends working there. Anyhow the company now seem to be embroiled in some union negotiations that are, let’s just say, not going well. The whole thing just seems really sad and toxic. Over the past five years I’ve have bouts of great sadness about not working there anymore and I really miss my colleagues and the work we did, but after reading about the union negotiations that are happening, I am really glad I’m not part of the contentiousness happenings and drama.
Looking forward to: -Anniversary Date Night with Husband. We hired a sitter and everything! -Zoolights with friends. – Going to see a musical with the ten year old and the five year old and our friends! -Ticking everything off my Holiday to do list above. -Christmas dinner and family time.
What We Ate: Saturday: Pizza (Husband made) and Arthur Christmas (see my last post for the run down on that movie).
Sunday: Sheetpan baked gnocchi. This was one of those pantry dinners that never seem like pantry dinners. Toss whatever roastable veggies I have in olive oil, salt and pepper – in this case it was butternut squash, broccoli, mushrooms, onions, turnip, rutabaga – add gnocchi. Pour into sheet pan. Roast for 25-30 mins.
Monday: Dinner out at Chinatown Express – we had duck noodle soup, roast pork stir-fried noodles (both these dishes with fresh noodles), Chinese broccoli with oyster sauce, green sauteed with garlic, soup dumping, pork dumpling and kung pao chicken. So much food! Sooooo good!
Tuesday: Kale Saag Paneer from Meera Sodha’s East. I had a bunch of heavy cream and half and half to use up as well as two bunches of kale, so this seemed like a good recipe to use. The paneer didn’t turn out great – I think using heavy cream instead of all half and half makes for a softer paneer so the texture didn’t quite hold up in the saag.
Wednesday: Farrotto with roasted butternut squash and brussel sprouts from The Weekday Vegetarians. This was billed as risotto but with farro. It never got as creamy as risotto, but it was still pretty tasty.
Thursday: Red lentils from The Weekday Vegetarians. Vegan. Something quick and tasty that we could eat before the 10 year old’s holiday concert.
Friday: Pizza (take out) and Charlie Brown Christmas and The Ted Lasso Holiday Special from last year.
Well we’ve emerged at the other end of Thanksgiving weekend. HOWEVER…. the kids were supposed to go back to school Monday, but there was a massive power outage last night and the schools were closed. Apparently a small plane flew into a electrical tower. No one is hurt, and the power has actually been restored to schools, but the schools need to do some damage assessment before they let the kids come back. So that makes day six of no school.
Given that last week consisted only of two half days of school, it certainly feels as if there’s been a lot of time at home and with the kids the past week and a half. I don’t feel like I have to be the children’s cruise director, but I do acknowledge that life is smoother if on days without school we get out of the house for a large chunk of time. With that in mind, one half day, I had the kids accompany me on my HMart grocery run – I bribed them by letting them pick out their own packs of Pocky as a snack- then took them to the park. It was chilly so I packed some hot chocolate in a Thermos.
The other half day the kids and I went to the library and the park next to the library. I love our library and park because it’s a low key one stop kids destination – there is a big open grassy area that the kids can run around in, there is a playground, and then when we get tired of that, we can go to the library and read book, or, more likely, play on the computers. I ran into a colleague that I hadn’t seen in two years but who just moved to the area, which always perks me up. I picked up another thick tome – Juliet Barker’s biography on the Brontës. I think January might be a Jane Eyre redux month – I want to read “My Plain Jane“, having just read the first book in the series, a retelling of the story of Lady Jane Grey, and found it hilarious. This second book in the series is a retelling of Jane Eyre, which is my favorite book.
Wednesday, was a full day off and I was offered tickets to a dress rehearsal of The Nutcracker, so I took the two older kids. I haven’t been to see The Nutcracker since probably high school. This was a nice traditional Nutcracker with all the expected bit – children, mice, Sugar Plum Fairy, a growing tree, lots of snow, and rows of tutus dancing in perfect unison. The kids were more engaged with the first half, which was where the main narrative arc of the story was. The second half, left them a little restless. My favorite part, though, was getting to hear the orchestra play Tchaikovsky’s score.
Nutcracker!
We did not go anywhere for Thanksgiving – at one point we had contemplated visiting a friend in New Jersey, but the thought of packing and travelling with the kids seemed so daunting and a nice quiet weekend at home much more appealing. We even made plans to clean out the attic, which did not happen. Thanksgiving Day itself was pretty quiet. As is our tradition, we watched the Macy’s Day Parade starting at 9am. I was a little confused at first because all the musical theatre numbers were shown at the beginning of the broadcast, and I was used to them being spaced throughout the parade, so I initially thought that they weren’t going to show the balloons and floats this year, just the musical numbers. But fear not. They balloons and floats started at 10am. My favorite bit was the cast of the Pitch Perfect spin off performing a mashup of 99 Luftbaloons + Take On Me. It was pretty awesome. Also the excerpt from Lion King – once you’ve seen stilt walkers as giraffes all the other performers seem kind of landbound. I had seen the musical years ago and the puppetry is just as brilliant and thrilling twenty years later seen on tv.
After dinner, we watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles – I hadn’t seen it before, and the Husband has been waiting YEARS for us to watch this as a family. In years past we’ve watched Scent of a Woman, but this year I guess the kids are at that phase where they’re too young for Scent of a Woman and just old enough for Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Another holiday tradition that shifts.
The rest of the weekend felt pretty full for a quiet holiday at home. I guess when we stay home, adventure comes to us. We ended up having two park play dates – one at our local park and one at a farther away park that I’d never been to, but which was huge and fun and had a carousel. I might have lost the three year old there and might have been that mother whose child was picked up sobbing by another mother on the playground. Ugh.
In addition to that, I went through the kids’ snow gear and made a note of what I needed to stock up on for this year, we watched football (American) and football (soccer), and tidied and cleaned and I went through the fruit bowl and decided to toss some really old apples, but then decided that I shouldn’t waste food like that so I made applesauce. I took the ten year old to buy some clothes and we found a dress for her upcoming piano recital. There was also church, a visit to the Farmer’s Market and the local co-op to stock up on snacks, a new to us coffee shop, and lighting of Advent candles. And we’ve started playing Christmas music at our house and watching Christmas movies.
Oh and before that, on Saturday night my friend called and said that she was sick but she had tickets for Frozen with the Symphony that night and did I want to go and take her kids? It’s one of those shows where they show the movie and the orchestra is onstage playing the music. So I said sure why not and took the ten year old, the three year old and my friend’s two kids. It was kind of an ordeal getting there – three preteens and a three year old in a car is not for the faint of heart, but we made it and mostly enjoyed the movie (I mean who doesn’t like Frozen?!?). And they blew fake snow over the audience during the closing credits – that was kind of magical.
The three year old wore her big sister’s hand me down Anna dress to the concert/movie, and it was interesting to me how many kids came dressed up. But also interesting is that most of the kids came in costumes from Frozen 2 – it made me feel the passage of time that my three year old’s Anna dress was kind of vintage Anna now.
A Princess at the theatre.
Lessons learned this Thanksgiving: – Find a better time to go to Costco. Or maybe there is no good time to go to Costco? I went Tuesday morning before Thanksgiving then I went to Giant to do the grocery shop. It was all so exhausting and crowded. Also- on Wednesday night, I discovered we were out of dish soap and I seriously started contemplating the it wouldn’t be terrible if I didn’t do any dishes for the next few days rather than going to to the store again. Thankfully, the Husband prevailed and went to the store and got dish soap. – I tried a new fat ratio for pie crust this time and I really liked it. I used to do all butter or half butter/half shortening. This time I did 2/3 butter and 1/3 shortening and it’s not as tasty as a full butter crust, but the texture was perfect. Despite the droopy pie crust, the pies were really tasty. – Make/ buy the rolls. I decided to skip the rolls this year because it was just us and I didn’t want to have a lot of food, but you know what? I miss having rolls at the table. So next year – don’t skip the rolls. – Do better at trading off alone time with the Husband. Five days at home with the kids is a lot of togetherness and we all had moments of burnout. We need to be better at making sure there is child-free time for each parent on these stretches.
Grateful For This week: Of course it was Thanksgiving week, so my gratitude list was very long, but some specific things from this week: – The opportunity to go see live performances. It’s a nice perk of my job that periodically I get tickets to things and get to take my kids. I’m also grateful that I can take my kids and they will usually sit through things, or if they get restless they will sit on my lap and cuddle. – Neighbors and strangers who help. I had an odd incident on Thanksgiving Day while out on my run; I came across a lady walking up the sidewalk with three suitcases who clearly needed help, but I was so far out of my depths and didn’t know how to help her. I felt so thankful that my neighbor was able to offer some resources and then a random stranger pulled his car over and took the lady to a shelter. – My kids’ teachers. We had parent teacher conferences last week and I am so grateful to the teachers who help my kids learn – not just book learning, but also learning life skills. I’m especially grateful for the ten year old’s teacher. Our conference was only supposed to be fifteen minutes but she spent over half an hour with us answering questions and talking us through strategies to help the ten year old in areas where she was struggling.
Looking Forward To – Buckling down and getting the translation slides done for this supertitle gig I have next week. It seems weird to be looking forward to that, but I feel like I’ve spend so much time this past week thinking, and planning, and executing family and children adventures, that being able to do something that is work and not kid related is going to be a nice chance for flow and focus. – Night out at a comedy show with my friend. I’ve never been to a comedy show, so I’m excited to see what it is like. This one is by a local comedy troupe and is called “Mother of all Comedy Show” and supposed to be about family and the holidays. Hopefully it will be funny. – The ten year old’s piano recital this week.
One Fun Thing I Read: I really liked this article about Japanese fans cleaning up after World Cup games. I’ve always been really fascinated by how Japanese children are expected to help tidy their classrooms and the how the expectations are pretty high for independence and stewardship in children. It was really cool to see those traits manifest on an international stage. (Related listening – I loved this episode of 99% Invisible talks about Japanese toddlers going on their first errands and how Japanese cities and culture supports that.)
What We Ate:
Monday: Crispy Chickpeas with homemade Flatbread from Weekday Vegetarian. We had some leftover yogurt sauce from when the husband make chicken schwarma last week, so I thought this would be a good use.
Tuesday: Butternut Squash Curry from Budget Bytes. This was simple and tasty and used up a squash that had been sitting around . We ate it with flatbread rather than rice. Vegan.
Wednesday: Kitchen sink fried rice, recipe loosely based off of Weekday Vegetarian’s Mushroom and Bok Choy fried rice. We had a lot of leftover rice in the fridge so this was a good way to use that up. Because I wanted this to be our second vegan meal this week, I made it with fried tofu rather than eggs. This recipe called for the vegetables to be sautéed then removed from the pan, then the rice cooked in a layer to make it crispy then the veggies added back in – it made for a fried rice that was very veggie heavy, which I liked.
Thursday: THANKSGIVING!!! Duck with orange sauce, roasted potatoes, cranberry sauce, broccoli salad, ribbon jello (which the ten year old made ann which the Midwestern Husband insists on calling “Ribbon Salad”.) Pumpkin and Apple pie for dinner.
Friday: Pizza and the Paw Patrol Movie. My first experience with the Paw Patrol Phenomenon. It was fine… though I was a little annoyed that there was only one female Paw Patrol. Or maybe obviously female. Maybe more of them are females and I just don’t know because I have preconceived gender associations and only the pink dog can be a girl…?
Saturday: Sandwiches at the theatre before Frozen. I think the Husband and the five year old had take out at home.
Sunday: Dumplings and Spirited, a new movie on AppleTV, a Christmas Carol inspired story featuring Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds. I mostly enjoyed this movie – it had singing and dancing and was funny and irreverent. And Octavia Butler as the romantic lead – how awesome is that? There was one moment that I found a little cringe-y that almost ruined the movie for me – there are two things things that I personally don’t like being used as plot points and this had one of them.
I think the chill has finally come to stay. This week was cold and little rainy. I’ve started making hot chocolate for the kids to sip after school, with one big marshmallow floating in their cup. No big adventures this week, and the week was also kind of “meh” for getting things done, but there was lots of time with friends, which fills lots of my buckets too.
Monday the Husband took the day off and we took the Metro into DC to see a movie. We saw a 9:50am showing of The Woman King. There is something really fun about seeing a morning movie and being the only people in the theatre. The movie itself was entertaining, though a little more violent than I liked.
Afterwards, we had dumplings and noodles at a restaurant that we used to go to all the time when we lived in DC – they make their own noodles and if you come at the right time, you can see the chef in the window pulling, stretching, and cutting the dough – it’s actually quite neat. I had duck noodle soup. Noodle soup needs to go on my list of cozy things!
plus… all my favorite condiments – pickled garlic, scallion ginger sauce, and chili flakes in oil.
Afterwards we decided to walk the mile or so to Union Station because there is a Blue Bottle Coffee there and we can also catch the Metro home from there. Union Station is special to us because that is where the Husband proposed and where he bought my wedding ring. It’s a little sad to see that a lot of the shops have closed there – it used to have a whole level of nice shopping, but now all the storefronts are empty, including the jewelers where that wedding ring was purchased.
That afternoon, my friend invited us over so the kids could jump on their trampoline. After I picked up the five year old from the bus, I headed over. The Husband followed with the other two kids and also brought beer and made a charcuterie plate and we had happy hour from 4:30p- 5:45p. It was such a nice afternoon visit and we agreed we should do this more.
It’s been a surprisingly Social Week. Aside from impromptu happy hour, I also had a planned happy hour with some moms from my mom’s group. The temperatures were in the mid thirties, but at the bar we went to we snagged a table with a firepit so we were able to sit outside without been too uncomfortable. I didn’t realize how much warmth the fire pit threw off until we got up to leave and I was shivering all the way to the car. It was nice to catch up with friends and talk about life, work, and family.
Then Friday I went over to my friend’s house for a lunch walk and date. We went on a walk and met a very friendly cat who rubbed against us for petting and then lept to the top of a chicken coop and basked in the sun.
What a handsome kitty!
We found our way to one of those restaurants that are perfectly curated to look imperfect, with exposed brick, crumbling plaster and mismatched china (see above). Also a beautiful mural across the outside wall. The food was amazing, though – my friend and I split friend green tomatoes, a vegan pot pie (soooooo good! huge fluffy biscuit, smoky mushrooms, edamame, potatoes, carrots, oatmilk béchamel.) and also a chocolate terrine. I also had a Virgin Bloody Mary which was spicy and tangy and came with two olives and a cherry pepper. I don’t love going out to eat because I find the food often to be unexceptional, but I would go back to this place.
The view across from our table
The definite low point of the week was when the two older kids were home sick. It was the kind of thing where the five year old had a fever the night before but was fine the next morning, and the ten year old threw up about an hour before she was to go to school. On the one hand, they seemed fine by the time it was actually time to go to school, but I thought I’d be cautious and keep them home. I come from a tradition of “perfect attendance” and “always go to school” so this was a bit of a mind shift for me – the thought that a day at home was okay and might actually be a good thing. I told the kids they had to stay in their rooms and rest until lunchtime at least and the ten year old got out the “sick bell”, the bell that we give sick kids so they can summon a parent if they need.
Everyone was up and restless well before noon. There might have been some scootering inside. There might have been some scootering that ran over my foot which resulted in some yelling and me locking myself in my room for twenty minutes. Then I emerged and decided that they were all well enough to go on a walk, so we went for a cold walk to the park, played for fifteen minutes and then came home. There was some tv and some hot chocolate and I felt like a better person for those indulgences. (I did make the kids watch the cartoons in French, though. I feel like I have a lot of feelings about tv and kids that I need to unpack and work through.)
Grateful for This Week: – A friend who invites us over to bounce on their trampoline, sends me coupon codes for period underwear, and picks up groceries for me when I’m home with sick kids. – Having good rain gear. – The Husband cleaning the frost off my car while I sipped my tea inside. The first car frost of the year! – The Metro so we don’t have to drive downtown.
Weekend plans and aspirations: – Clean/ pick up/ tidy since the cleaners are coming on Monday. This will inevitably take more time than I want, but I will play music and dance and hopefully involve minimal yelling. – Two birthday parties for the baby to attend, both outside park parties. We will bundle well. – Dinner out with friends tonight – Write Christmas Letter -Meal Plan.
Looking Forward To: – Thanksgiving? Maybe? I haven’t planned anything yet. There will be pie. Everything else I’m a little agnostic about. There has been talk about duck, which might be a fun adventure. – Hallmark Holiday Movies! We subscribe to a hodge-podge of streaming services… mostly ones that that are “free” with something else. We also are currently subscribed to Peacock so the Husband can watch football and basketball these next few months. Anyhow I just learned that the Hallmark Holiday movies will be on Peacock. So excited! -Parent Teacher Conference for the ten year old. She’s been so much happier at her new school so I’m excited to talk to her new teacher, who I think is fantastic.
Recipe of the Week: I made Chocolate Banana Muffins from Rise and Run by Shalane Flanagan and Elyse Kopecky who wrote Run Fast. Eat Slow. They turned out great – they were tender and not too sweet, and used oat flour and almond meal instead of regular flour, and bananas and honey instead of white sugar, so I can pretend it’s healthy. No link, but I highly recommend their cookbooks.
Something that made me think this week: I love the website Grown and Flown because it has a lot of parenting articles for older kids. This week, there was this article “Parents Regret Doing or Not Doing these Ten Things.” Anything with the word “regret” is click-bait for me – I’m always fascinated by lessons learned and attempts to do better. On the other hand I do feel like regret in and of itself is a useless emotion because the world is so full of variables and unpredictability that one can never really say for sure if things would have been better one way or the other. At any rate, I thought there was a lot for me to ponder and digest in this article. #2 “Use Your Words Carefully” particularly hit close to home, especially this parent comment: “Understand how vulnerable to your comments your children are and how much damage you can create while thinking that you’re just helping.” I think this goes back to my struggle to parent without judgement. It’s not about not having opinions, but really about how those opinions are expressed. And when.
One thing that made me sad: I read last night about the passing of composer Ned Rorem. When I was in college I sang several of his songs and I’ve always loved his music. Here is one of my favorite songs to sing: “Early in the Morning”. The poem is by Robert Hillyer and tells of a young person in Paris, in love, and the song is so simple in the memory it recalls .. because when you are in Paris and in love, life can be very simple. This video features the very talented tenor Nicholas Phan. I’ve never worked with him but I’ve always loved how he sings arts songs. His rendition of this song isn’t buried in regret like some interpretations that I’ve heard.
Nicholas Phan, tenor and Kuang-Hao Huan, piano
What We Ate: I’ve gotten out of the habit of meal planning and then doing one big grocery shop, but even still I thought this was a pretty good week of dinners for having to scrounge from the pantry and fridge.
Saturday: I was at work, but I’m pretty sure people just loaded up on apps from the bowling birthday party they were at.
Sunday: Smashburgers, Shrimp, and Ricotta Toast at Landmade Brewery after our shortened hike.
Monday: Breakfast sandwiches.
Tuesday: Instant Pot White Beans with Spicy Potatoes. I just got Jenny Rosenstarch’s newest cookbook Weekday Vegetarian from the library and am excited to cook from it. The recipe said to top the beans with pesto, but I wanted this to be our vegan meal, so I made a thrifty vegan pesto with garlic, cashews, olive oil, and leftover basil, cilantro, and parsley that was kind of just wilting in the vegetable drawer. I’m always excited when I can salvage sad veggie drawer contents into something tasty.
Wednesday: Pesto pasta with marinated beans, also from Weekday Vegetarian. I had so much pesto leftover from Tuesday that this meal was easy to mix up. The marinated beans are my new favorite thing – two cans of cannellini beans marinated in red wine vinegar, olive oil, dried Italian Herb Mix (the recipe called for fresh, but I didn’t have any), and garlic. Kae wrote a post this week on a meal hack of just eating protein, and that inspired me to eat the leftover marinated beans all week for lunch the rest of the week, and it was such an easy tasty no-brainer way to eat something filling.
Thursday: I had Truffle Fries and Buffalo Cauliflower nuggets at Happy Hour. The Husband made stir fry with some chicken and bok choy that had to be used up, adding some broccoli to the mix. Bok choy is a hard sell with the little kids.
Friday: Pizza (Husband made) and movie – Men In Black, which I don’t think I’d ever seen. I remember seeing the second one – I was working summer stock theatre at an operetta company in Ohio and the set designer used to work at a movie theatre so he worked something out where the entire company went over one evening and watched Men In Black II and I remember thinking it was so decadent to be able to have the entire movie theatre to ourselves. Anyhow… Men in Black, the first one – very funny though the little kids didn’t quite know whether to be scared or not. Also – Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones of the 90s – how fun are they to watch on screen? I know they both do pretty serious dramas now, but there is such a beautiful effortless ease to their comedies.
