Well we made it through another school year! It always feels like a triumph to make it to the last day of school. Back in September, the school year was just stretched out before us, full of questions and possibilities. Well now we know. There were first days and snow days and holidays and testing days. And we got through them all. If you’ll pardon me being a sentimental mother, here’s some thoughts for my kids that I want to hold on to about this past year…
Dear L (12 year old)- You get the longest letter because I feel like you had the biggest shift this year, going to to middle school. It’s been amazing watching you navigate your first year there. I was so nervous and worried at the beginning of the school year- how were you going to get to school? Would you be able to find your classes? Do you have friends? Will the other kids be nice to you? So much would be new. And even though I didn’t specifically go to middle school – my school was K-8 – I know how tough those years can be, trying to figure out who you are, what you want to do, how you want to do it, what brings you joy… And all the while the kids around you having the same struggles, and sometimes not very kind about it. I didn’t have to worry about you. I should have known that you had the independence, kindness, and confidence that a kid needs to thrive middle school. How many times did we have this exchange:
You: There was another fight in the hallways today. Me: Oh no. Are you okay? What did you do? You: I just kept walking to class.
I think that ability to stay far away from the drama will serve you well in life.
Middle school has been kind of a black hole for me – you go off in the morning, come home at night. I don’t really know what goes on in between, and since you don’t have (or do) homework, I just have to trust that you are learning – learning things and learning how to learn things and do the work. I don’t know if my memories will be the same as yours, but this is what I will remember about your 6th grade year: Your first sleepaway experience with the school Outdoor Education program (which you loved – are you sure you aren’t interested in sleepaway camp???). How you really got into theatre. Seeing you up on stage singing and dancing was so much fun. You realizing that you were actually pretty good at math and that it was those horrid kids in the Chinese immersion program who were the shitty ones. You walking home from school singing show tunes at the top of your lungs. How you took it upon yourself to write all your teachers Thank You notes at the end of the year. (Though we should still work on how to spell circumference). You coming home brimming with news and gossip. You figuring out how to talk to your teachers on your own. Fighting about screentime and whether or not you could get a cellphone. I think this last one will be with us for at least another year. It’s an ongoing conversation… Let’s see what happens next year!
Dear A (7 year old)- It’s been a tough year in first grade, hasn’t it? I’m so sorry for all the stupid challenges that you faced this year at school. The homework was excessive – how I wanted to tell you to just burn it all! But… you’ve learned to read – in two languages! You can do math! You make art and music. I love having little conversations with you in French – we won’t be talking about economics any time soon, but being able to talk to you in French about your day or things that you need is delightful. I’m so amazed at how much of the language your brain has picked up in just two years. And you’ve made some good friends, I think. Apparently playing soccer at recess is the highlight of many of your days. And outside of school, this year you’ve learned to sew and play the piano and ride your bike. I think those are all amazing accomplishments.
Dear W (4 year old)- I guess technically you don’t have a “school year” since you are in day care all year round, but you did move to a new classroom last August. We all went into this school year hoping you could go to kindergarten this fall, but clearly the universe (or the school district) had other plans. Oh well, as one of your teachers said, you’ll be the smartest kid in kindergarten when you get there. “Why can’t she go to Kindergarten?!?!?” has now become a catchphrase in our family any time you do something funny or smart or responsible. (Which is at least four or five times a day.) I hope you’ve had a great year in your pre-K classroom. From what I see, you’ve done so much! You learned to write letters and numbers, you made good friends, you played in the sandbox a lot. A lot a lot. There were beaches of sand dumped out of your shoes when you came home some days. Your big sister got to come to your class to be the Mystery Reader. I guess if you don’t get to go to kindergarten you’ll get to have all that fun all over again. Whatever next year brings, I’m sure you’ll meet it with your usual enthusiasm and joy.
Well, now it’s time for summer. I hope we find time to enjoy summer and the time off from school. Sooner than we know, it will be the end of August again, and time for another school year.
We make videos of the kids on the last day of school, asking them questions about the past year. I try to ask the same questions every year, but I don’t always remember. Here are the answers from this year:
12 year old, just finished 6th grade: Most Challenging thing: Adjusting to have so many different teacher and a locker with a code. And classes being louder with people I didn’t know or associate with at all. Best Thing: One, we didn’t really have homework. Two, the teachers were nicer than I expected. Worst Thing: The fights. And the drama. And the kids being WAY too loud and some of the teachers were just mean. Well, they weren’t mean they were just taught at certain way when they were kids and they’d always been taught that way so they didn’t know how to adjust the teachings to the needs of the kids. What are you most proud of this year? I got into both the play and the musical and I had lines in both. What are your hopes and aspirations for 7th grade: That the new theatre teacher likes me. What advice would you give someone going to 6th grade? Don’t get on the teacher’s bad side.
The 7 year old, just finished 1st grade: Most Challenging Thing: The grades. Especially when you have the best teacher in 1st teacher. Best Thing: There are friends that you remember from kindergarten. Worst Thing: Math is hard. What are you post proud of this year? I got to second grade, because that was unlikely. Looking forward to the most in 2nd Grade: I hope I get good notes. (I think he means grades here – notes= French for grades.) What advice would you give someone going into 1st grade? Don’t speak English if you are going to French.
The 4 year old, in Pre-K: Most Challenging Thing: Circle Time Best Thing: Playing. Worst Thing: Getting in fights. (Me: WHAT?!?!) There are fights in line. What are you most proud of this year? Writing my name. Looking forward To: Getting into kindergarten. What advice do you have for someone coming into your classroom? Don’t be mean.
The view from backstage. The Emperor’s throne is waiting in storage behind the projection screen.
I opened my show! The 12 year old opened her show! The 12 year old closed her show! Yay! It’s been a very packed week.
First of all – the 12 year old’s middle school production of Annie Jr. was delightful! She played Tessie, one of the orphans. Tessie is the one who says, “Oh my goodness! oh my goodness!” The Husband noted that he could pick her out in a crowd because of the huge plaid pocket I put in her pinafore. I couldn’t go to the first performance because I was working, but I went to the second performance, which was also the closing performance. It’s so funny seeing the whole show come together after spending all that time running lines with her. There is something very mechanical about running lines and I was so impressed by how comfortable she was onstage. (In the program, the 12 year old thanked her parents from runnign lines with her!”) And the whole production – I mean obviously the production values aren’t terribly high because it’s middle school, but it had it’s own handmade charm. There was one scene with a couch, and then the couch had to move downstage for the next scene so we watched the kids move it and afterwards I asked the 12 year old why the couch wasn’t on wheels? And she said, “Well, we borrowed it from the Teacher’s Lounge.” Which I think perfectly sums up the whole thing.
In the program, the twelve year old thanked, among others, “…her parents who helped her prepare for auditions, run lines, an boost her confidence.” I thought that was really sweet of her.
And that night after she came home from getting ice cream with her cast mates, she started crying because the whole thing was over and oh how I know that feeling – I think that is one thing that makes theatre so special – that high you get from doing something ephemeral and the low you get from realizing that it’s ephemeral. And even though you know you can audition for more shows, you’ll never repeat this very exact show again with these very exact cast mates.
The night after the 12 year old had her shows, I opened my show. There was a very fancy party afterwards. I wore a dress – the other dress I bought at Macy’s in March when I bought that red jumpsuit that I wrote about last month. This dress probably isn’t quite fancy enough for an opening night party, but it is comfortable and forgiving – the smocked waist is elastic – and flowy, which I like. I wish it came in another colour, because black/white/grey isn’t my favorite color palatte. I don’t wear make-up, and have no clue what to do with my hair now that it hasn’t been cut for a year and is looking a little overgrown, so I think maybe the whole look is a little unpolished – but there are limits to what I want to do with myself and hair and make-up don’t quite make it into those boundaries right now. I did wear heels, though, so there’s that.
Bathroom photo of me in my dress.
The party had all sorts of tasty Asian inspired food, a photo booth, lots of loud music. I had fun talking to people I don’t usually get to talk to. The best thing, though was the fried pickled ginger. Who would have thought to do that? It was DELICIOUS.
fried pickled ginger. Amazing.
The opening night party was the Saturday before Mother’s Day, so it was nice that I kind of had a pass to sleep in (until 8am!) then next morning. All week, the kids had hinted that they had planned a special Mother’s Day. Not to be a grinch, but I kind of don’t love celebrating Mother’s Day. (Or my birthday, or anything where I have to be the center of attention). I don’t like surprises, so the family was going to tell me what they had planned, but then they were giving out tickets to teh White House Garden Tour for Mother’s Day Sunday, and I asked the Husband if he wanted to go. And he said, “But we’ve planned Mother’s Day!” and I reminded him that my father was in town and he could watch the kids and when would we have a chance for free childcare while we go out together again? And he said okay. So on Mother’s Day Sunday, the 11 year old made French toast (perhaps with help from her siblings – I’m not sure since I was in bed), we ate the French toast, I took the 4 year old to her agility class and then when I got home, the Husband and I took the Metro downtown.
First stop was coffee. The Husband had wanted to check out this Indonesian coffee shop for ages, but we were never in the area at the right time. It is a fifteen minute walk from the White House so it was the perfect pitstop. I had a chai and a cherry croissant. The chai was delicious- bitingly spicy and just a hint of sweetness. I asked afterwards who made the chai mix and the barista enthusiastically pointed me to the company, Soul Chai. Definitely check them out if you like your chia spicy and not sugary. I’ll be ordering some for sure.
After coffee, we proceeded to the White House. Now getting tickets to the White House Gardens tour is not exactly a rarified thing. Thousands of tickets are passed out for each weekend of garden tours, and they are free. (Honestly, I’d be annoyed if they weren’t free…) However, I was able to get tickets through work, which meant that I didn’t have to stand in line at 8:30am to get tickets. tl:dr – I found the whole experience rather… underwhelming and would not stand in line for tickets unless you were an American history/government fan.
I think calling it a “Gardens Tour” was a little bit misleading. It was more of a “Grounds Tour”. The pre-ordained path allowed people to view the gardens from a distance, but there weren’t a lot of flowers to be seen as we walked along. My take away – the White House grounds is a lot of grass and trees. Which, I supposed makes sense – grass because you need to land helicopters, and trees because it seems like planting a tree is a beloved activity for past residents of the White House to leave their mark and/or honour an occasion. And I guess if I’m being honest, while the horticultural side of the garden tour felt pallid, the historical part of the tour did feel quite momentous. Here was a tree planted by the Obamas, here are the windows to the Oval Office, here is the Rose Garden and that walk way seen so many time on the West Wing. So I suppose what the garden tour lacked for me in actual garden, it made up in weighty historical significance and that did make for some pondering.
There was a military band playing music throughout the day. They played lots of Disney tunes.
This was as close as we got to the Rose GardenThat’s the oval office there, you can see if you squint. Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden and Jill Biden’s cut flower garden.This commemorative oak planted by Herbert Hoover came from Lincoln’s birthplace. I like the juxtaposition of that with the Washington Monument in the background.
After the Gardens Tour, we decided to take in a museum. The White House is next to the Renwick, which is an American Art Museum that focuses on craft and handiwork. I’ve seen several things there, and really found it intriguing so I was eager to go again. I thought there was an Amish quilt exhibit there, but when I arrived, I found that the Amish quilt exhibit was at the American Art Museum in Gallery Place/ Chinatown, which was seven or eight blocks away. Oops. We took in the exhibits at the Renwick anyway, the best being this exhibit of nets hung from the cieling. It was visually appealing, but also relaxing experience because you had to lay down on the floor to get the full impact:
View looking up.
After we took in the other exhibits in the Renwick, we decided to go to the American Art Museum and see the Amish Quilt exhibit after all since the restaurant that we picked for dinner was in that direction anyway.
Love the effect of the black squared to create negative space on this quilt.
I thought this exhibit was stunning and though provoking. What struck me, apart from the visual aspect of the quilts, was the idea that all these quilts hung in a museum, yet they were all labelled “Artist: unidentified” – it made me ponder the tension between quilts that are quite skillfully and and artistically assembled – the patterns and colours are quite intricate – and the Amish who are a modest, attention shunning people. Highly recommend this exhibit.
I love the piecework on this quilt – it looks random, but really has a lot of structure.
This one is called Stairway to Heaven.
Such variation in colour and pattern.
I mean look at that amazing stitchwork!
More exquisite stitchwork!
After the exhibit, we went to dinner. Recently the New York Times published and article entitled “The 25 Best Restaurants in Washington, DC Right Now.” (Hilariously, the comments are full of people noting that a lot of the restaurants on the list are in the Maryland or Virginia suburb, so the title of the article is misleading. I’m surprised by the vehemence of some of the comments.) Some of the restaurants on the list I’ve been to, but many were new to me, especially those in the city since we very rarely eat out in the city. There is no where I feel my suburban mom-ness more than in a hip DC restaurant. At any rate, we decided to check out a restaurant on the list, Baan Siam, a Thai restaurant in Mount Vernon Square, near Gallery Place. This isn’t like your standard Thai restaurant – pad thai and drunken noodles are nowhere to be seen. The food is from northern Thailand. The Husband and I ordered fried pumpkin, fried spicy mushrooms (enoki mushroom – this was novel because I’d never had fried enoki mushrooms and the long thin shape made it well suited for finger food), spicy chicken in banana leaf (very spicy, but also sweet, sour, and funky in a good way), shrimp chili paste fried rice with fried pork belly, and a small cucumber salad. It was all super flavorful and tasty. And for dessert, we had mango with sticky rice, because of course.
After dinner we took the metro back home, arriving back at the house aroun 7:45pm. When we got home, things were pretty quiet, so the Husband and I snuck in the back door and collapsed on the living room couch waiting for someone to notice we were home. No one did. Everyone ended up going to bed super late- not ideal for a Sunday night, but it was all fine.
Grateful for – the Tech Week edition:
-Blue highlighter. This is sort of a weedy work hack, but – There is one entrance I cue (the green post it) that is in the middle of an orchestral interlude. I like to think I read music pretty well, but I always felt iffy about this entrance, never confident that I was cuing it in the right place. Reading a piano reduction of the orchestral part can be confusing because there are so many notes in the page and I have to figure out which notes correspond to what I’m hearing, and if I don’t count it completely accurately, I get easily lost. Most nights it was kind of a prayer and a “feeling” for where the cue was. So one day during tech, I took a blue highlighter and highlighted the notes of the melody. And suddenly, I could see what I was listening for and I could follow the music and cue the sequence perfectly. Sometimes I just have to highlight what I need and ignore the rest of the notes and I won’t get lost. I’m sure there’s a life lesson in there somewhere.
-dropping my flashlight. One of my backstage tools is my mini Maglite. It is essential for lighting the way backstage when everything is dark. I converted my light with a kit so that it is push button operated instead of twist. Anyhow, at the start of tech, it was working somewhat sporadically which was kind of annoying and I was going to order myself a new one. Then at one point, I accidentally dropped the Maglite on the floor and it started to work! Yay!
-The Husband who held down the fort – handling pick up and dinner and bedtime on his own all week. Also while dealing with a whole slew of plumbing problems at our rental house. And then he even brought all the kids to my dress rehearsal, even though it meant a late night for everyone. I think the 4 year old fell asleep in the last act, but the other two kid watched the whole thing.
-middle school drama programs. For giving my kid such a great experience. For giving her an outlet to be silly and make friends. For giving her a place to go after school. For bringing the community together to cheer these talented and enthusiastic kids on.
Looking Forward To:
-Being home in the evenings – now that my show is open, I’m looking forward to being able to pick up the kids from the school bus, make dinner, put kids to bed and zone out in front of the tv with the Husband watching Brooklyn 99 or 30 Rock or maybe we’ll get to that third season of Ted Lasso.
-Swim Season – We’ve signed up for the pool, and I’m excited to spend time at the pool and to cheer the 12 year old on at swim meets. There were a couple days last week that were blazingly hot and I thought how it feels like summer, but we’re not quite there yet.
-Dirty Meat Party – There is currently twenty pounds of meat marinating in my fridge in preparation for the grilling party that we have every time a certain colleague/friend of mine is in town working on a show. It’s probably the biggest party we throw every year and while I don’t always like having 25 people descend on my house, I do love seeing everyone having a good time. There is some rain in the forecast, which makes me a little nervous because I am ill equipped to put 25 people inside my house. But we can’t postpone it because then the meat will be over-marinated. Also – the party has always been called the Dirty Meat Party, but maybe I should reconsider because as the 7 year old ran to the school bus, he called out, “I can’t wait to eat dirty meat!!!!”
-Reading this – middle aged female pirate goes on adventures. It’s proving delightful so far. I’ve laughed out loud so many times while reading it.
I find this cover a little terrifying…
What we ate: The only dinner I made at home last week was Friday night, my day off. I made this Pearl Couscous with Creamy Feta and Chickpeas . I added some shrimp in the last 5 minutes of baking. It was very tasty, but I wish there was a way to make it a one pot meal. perhaps just cooking it all on the stovetop and not baking it?
In lieu of the other dinners that week, here is another “At Work All Day” lunchbox picture:
Lunch: broccoli quinoa salad, which I had made last week and still working through. Plum.
Dinner: marinated beans with potatoes and arugula. Avocado and a boiled egg to eat along with.
Snacks: cut up apples and hummus, protein bar (from Costco, really just a glorified candy bar), two carrots (yes, I just toss them in whole. easier that way), beef stick (actually for the drive home to snack on when I get sleepy.)
The 11 year old had her 5th Grade Promotion Ceremony. The Husband and I both went. Oh my goodness. There might have been some tears. You know, those happy tears of, “Wasn’t she just a little baby? and I can’t believe that she’s made it all the way through elementary school! and She’s growing up and moving forward and I can’t always be there for her!” You know, that kind of stuff. Man, if I’m this blubbering mess at her elementary school promotion ceremony, I can’t imagine what kind of mess I’ll be as she gets older. I can’t believe that I will have at least two more Promotion/Graduation ceremonies to go though for this kid. More, if she finished college. And I’ll also have to go through this with the two other kids.
There were so many nice touches to the ceremony. The Principal reminding the students to “Find your superpower and always always always remember to be kind.” And then reminding them that they will always be a Sea Turtle (the school mascot). (okay – I might be tearing up remembering that bit.) As each student’s name was read out, the teacher also read a quote by the student – things like favorite memories, advice, hopes for the world. Some of my favorites: “The world would be a more awesome place if there were more male teachers.” “My advice for kindergarteners would be to enjoy recess because you don’t have it in middle school.” “I will always remember to dial in”
There were also a lot of kids who mentioned their friends and teachers in their quote. It made me realize that even though learning is important, what really makes an impact are the friendship and human connections that the kids make – the people who make a child feel seen and heard. I feel like the 11 year old was fortunately place in the pandemic timeline – she had three years of in person learning before the pandemic and then she had a year and a half of in person learning afterwards. While the year of virtual learning was certainly disruptive, she could start and end elementary school surrounded by people and not online.
At the end of the ceremony, the school has a “clap out” where all the other grades line the hallways and the 5th graders walk by every classroom and high five all the other students. And it ended with cake. Then lots of pictures and good-byes and some phone numbers exchanged for future playdates.
That was the big event for the week.
One last picture by her locker.
Last Day of School!
Comparison: First Day of School!
Well, actually only one kid went to school on the Last Day of School. The 11 year old stayed home – the principal said that no one expected fifth graders to show up on the last half day. And the 3 year old had the day off for teachers in service. She actually is quite confused as to why she still has to go to school/ daycare this summer while her siblings don’t. The six year old went to his last day of kindergarten. Whew. We made it.
Other fun things:
This snapshot of life moment: The two younger kids were playing together, while I wrapped a few things up before I took them to a pool. Then I hear the 6 year old say to the 3 year old , “You need a stick! Go get a stick!” And the three year old runs into the kitchen and grabs a chopstick. Now whenever my kids grab sticks, some spidey sense tells me to be a little wary. “What do you need a stick for?” I asked. “To wave it!” I follow them to the living room, and this is what I saw:
The three year old “conducting” while the six year old “plays”. It delighted me to my music loving heart!
For Better of For Worse:
I found this battered copy of a For Better or For Worse volume in a Little Free Library and immediately snatched it up. I grew up reading Lynn Johnston’s comic strip For Better or For Worse in my local newspaper. The family structure was very similar to my own – mom, dad, older brother, younger sister. And the younger sister was about my age as the strip progressed. I always found it so relatable – just an ordinary family and the gentle ironies of life. Johnston has such a gift for seeing the humour in the mundane. There are certain strips that have always stuck in my head. The one where the mother responds to the father’s complaint of the kids dog-earing books, by saying, “At last they are reading!” has always stayed with me.
The 11 year old has also been reading this slim volume and one day she showed me the page where pre-teen Elizabeth is in a prickly foul mood, slamming doors and growling at her parents, but then at the end of the day asks her mom for a hug. “Sometimes,” the 11 year old says to me, “That’s how I feel.” I just wanted to give her all the hugs.
This yummy breakfast: One day the kids wanted oatmeal for breakfast, which isn’t something we have a lot in the summer. They had frozen blueberries and maple syrup on theirs. I wanted a savory version, so I had eggs, ume plum vinegar, sesame oil, cilantro, and chili bamboo shoots on mine. Kind of like congee. I love chili bamboo shoots; I could eat them right out of the jar. But it’s one of those foods that I always forget that I like so I don’t have it too often. On the side, mango with tajin.
Lychees – I went to HMart for groceries the other day, and when I came home I realized that I have three versions of lychees:
There is my favorite Japanese gummy candy, then canned lychee because there is a lychee ice cream recipe that I want to try to make, and then fresh lychee, which we very rarely get, so I always buy some if I see them and they look good. I guess lychees are my favorite fruit! They are so sweet and juicy and have a nice chew to them that it’s just a really perfect eating experience for me. I’m sure the rarity makes them even more special too. They actually had lychees at Costco last week, but those aren’t as sweet at the ones from HMart.
Grateful for: – My health. I’ve met a lot of people these past few weeks who are dealing with chronic health conditions, and I’ve been feeling really grateful that thanks mainly to genetics and good luck, I’ve always felt very good in my body. It’s also made me realize that medicine is not an exact science – my friends have gone through a battery of tests and visited many doctors and basically get a diagnosis of “Yup, you feel tired/have migraines/inexplicably vomit…” How mentally exhausting that must be, on top of not feeling physically well! I don’t want to come across a smug, but I’m realizing that I can’t take my ability to function without pain or discomfort for granted, especially as I get older. Health issues can be so mysterious and I could very well develop a chronic issue at anytime, so I’m grateful for every day that I’m healthy.
– The 11 year old’s elementary school and especially the staff and teacher. I had so many doubts about having the 11 year old switch schools for 5th grade. Clearly the partial Immersion program that she was in was not serving her well, but was a new school really the answer? What if she didn’t like the school? What if the kids at the new school were just as mean as the kids at the old school? Is it too big of an adjustment to make for the last year of elementary school? But it was absolutely the right decision, and honestly, one that we should have made sooner. The principal runs the school with the authoritative air of a benevolent ruler – a firm and kind man. The office staff is always happy to see people come in; they never act as if you’re being a bother. And the teachers all want to help kids learn and do well. This is our fourth elementary school experience and I’ll say that I didn’t find these things everywhere. The 11 year old found her spot and friends and one fun thing at the promotion ceremony was meeting all the people whom she connected with over the school year.
-The nice weather and the air clearing up. Luckily we only had about two days of really bad air here in the DC area, but then things were back to normal. With this week being tech week, I’m in the theatre at lot, and I haven’t been getting out to run. But I’m grateful that when I do get breaks, there is balmy weather- not quite grossly humid – and sunshine and shade and lush summer green for me to enjoy.
The trail near my house.
Looking Forward To: So the Husband has taken all three kids on trip. I’ve had to stay home because I’m working this week. It seems so luxurious to have the whole house to myself. These are things I’m looking forward to – Reading! I went to the library last week on my day off and got a whole stack of books. I’m inspired by Coco who has been spending hours reading in the morning while her family is away!
library stack
– Cooking! I am going to cook and eat all the things that I don’t often get to cook when the family is at home – cauliflower, bok choy, fried rice, lots of vegetables. Tempeh. This is a big one. I’ve had tempeh in the fridge for longer than I care to admit, but no one likes tempeh. That’s not true, quite – no one likes the idea of tempeh, so I never make it. (They’re fine when I do finally make it but sometimes it’s not worth listening to the grousing). Also all the things that I want to eat, but the kids eat before I get to it. Like lychees.
Library cookbook stack
– Cleaning out the guest room. This is my big “To Do” item while home by myself. We have family coming to visit in July and currently the guest room is clothes storage. I need to organize and put the clothes in bins and then put the clothes in the attic.
-Blog – finish my Amsterdam recaps.
-And then also all the other life admin stuff – camp forms, pay the bills, etc. I know this doesn’t really go on a “Looking forward to” list… but I’m looking forward to doing it without having a kid come up and interrupt me.
What We Ate – I still feel like every night I’ve had some variation of this conversation with the Husband: Him: What can I make for dinner? Me: Well there’s x, y, and z in the fridge. Him: What can I do with that? Me: … spits ball some complicated ideas. Him: We’ll just have eggs.
In truth, he’s doing a great job of keeping the kids fed as I work into the evening. But I look forward to being able to meal plan again some day:
Saturday: Pizza and movie night – School of Rock.
Sunday: Camp food with friends. Our friends had bought a new camp stove and wanted to try it out, so we went on a hike and then they made dinner at the end. Rice and Beans with Sausage and vegetables – they had dehydrated okra and tomatoes and added that. It was really tasty. There was mac and cheese and broccoli rice for the kids.
Monday: Pork chops with gravy and green beans. The Husband cooked. This is the kind of Midwestern meal he makes without a receipe.
Tuesday: Zucchini Boats – the Husband cooked. We seem to eat these a lot, but it’s a good way to get vegetables into the kids.
Wednesday: Breakfast sandwiches.
Thursday: Turkey Chili – I made before heading off to work. This was one of those really satisfying meals to make in that I got to use up lots of leftovers and clean out the fridge a little. I used the leftover zucchini boat filling (ground turkey) and tossed it in in Instant Pot with leftover turkey burgers, a can of crushed tomatoes, celery, carrots, onions, corn, black beans and chili powder and cumin. It was really tasty and I had the leftovers in wraps for lunch all week.
Friday: Sandwiches at the Golf Course. The Summer music series has started at the local golf course – so many a Fridays we just grab sandwiches from the deli and head there with our lawn chairs and picnic blankets. Even when we don’t plan to go with friends, we almost always run into someone we know.
Saturday: Pizza and movie night. It was my turn to choose and I chose The Queen of Katwe, a 2016 movie based on the true story of a chess prodigy living in the slums of Kampala, Uganda. I’m trying to find more family movies that aren’t animated and I really enjoyed this one. The story is by turns inspirational and dramatic and eye-opening.
Monday: Turkey Chili leftovers
Tuesday: Grilled Tofu and Tomatoes – the husband made this from the Green Barbeque Cookbook, a book of vegan and vegetarian recipes to make on the grill. It was very tasty. Vegan.
Wednesday: Eggs and Green Beans. The Husband cooked.
Thursday: Cucumber and Black Bean Noodle Salad from To Asia With Love by Hetty McKinnon. This was really tasty and went over pretty well with the kids, though one kid only at the veggies and one kid only ate the noodles. The dressing base is fermented black bean sauce, one of my favorite ingredients. I added green beans and five spice tofu to bulk it up. Vegan.
Friday: Leftovers for me. Not quite sure what the Husband and kids did.
I did a big Costco run last week. Tech week is coming up and I felt like I had to stock up on snacks. Some new finds:
snacks!!!
I like a spicy snack, and these two treats are opposite end of spicy. The almonds are spicy/ savory – perfect for when I’m tired of the sweet MLK. They are salty, smoky and crunchy with a little bit of heat. The Tamarind bites had intrigued me for a while and I finally decided to try them. I like tamarind a lot and I’ve always like chili spiced dried mango, so I figured these might be similar. These have that distinctive sweet/sour tamarind flavor with a nice kick from the chili. Not for eating by the handful, but I find one or two at a time very satisfying.
I got these strawberry yogurt bites more for the kids:
The kids really like yogurt tubes, but I can’t keep those in the car, so I thought this might be a nice alternative. They are sort of like yogurt covered raisins but with strawberry instead. The jury is out. They are a nice snack, but not very filling.
These protein bars:
I go back and forth on protein bars. I like the idea of them, but are they really better than just having a Snickers? I grabbed these because a guy standing next to me in the aisle said that it’s the only protein bar his gluten free son will eat. I’m very easily swayed by random strangers recommending things to me in store aisles. Anyhow, these are fine. They are a little larger than I expected, so feel like a lot. They taste okay to me and the ingredient list is not unexpected. Overwhelming endorsement, I know. I probably wouldn’t buy them again because they are on the pricy side, but if I need a gluten free bar, this isn’t a terrible option.
Other fun things:
Sometimes my kids take my camera and take really inane and unflattering pictures. Sometimes, though, they capture things like this:
Ignore me in the background blissfully unaware that my phone is gone. Look instead at the unbridled joy that the 6 year old captured.
That picture is going in my file of “Things to look at when I feel down.”
We also had Take Your Child To Work Day. The Husband took the kids to his office, where they had all sorts of fun activities – a Fire Truck, build a solar car, pizza lunch! Then he brought the kids to my work, where we had some late afternoon activities – build a prop flower, listen to some singers sing, tour the building, try on costumes. I was a little disappointed that the kids couldn’t come to rehearsal, but we have a no guest policy right now because of COVID. All the same, it was fun to see the kids at work briefly.
Trying on costumes.
Very satisfying: I labelled the prop tables. There are a lot of props in my current show. The situation on the prop table had gotten quite chaotic – they had become some kind of random dump area. So one afternoon I just took the time and organized them and labelled spots for all the props. I do usually do this at some point in the process, but usually when there aren’t so many props it doesn’t feel as urgent. Or as satisfying when it is done. Opera aficionados can probably guess what opera this is:
Sort of annoying: The 3.5 year old got sent home with pink eye one day. The Husband went to pick her up and took her to the pediatrician and got drops then stayed home with her. I’m glad that he has a job that allows him to do that. I mean certainly if I had an emergency, I could have taken the afternoon off, but the Husband officially gets to take time off work. Benefits and all that.
Anyhow, we got drops for her, which she refused to let us put in:
“I don’t wanna!”
It took a bit of bribery and holding her down to maybe get a drop in her eyes twice a day. And really, after the first day, bribery didn’t work.
Domestic Adventures: I made muffins in anticipation of tech. This time I made Coconut Peanut Mochi Muffins from Hetty McKinnon’s To Asia with Love. The muffins use sweet rice flour so they are gluten free, and they came out chewy like mochi but dense like a muffin. The swirl of peanut butter helps give it a substantial taste so that the muffin doesn’t tip into desert territory. I really liked these muffins and will definitely make them again. The kids didn’t love them, but the Husband did. The kids said it would be better with chocolate chips. Of course.
Coconut peanut mochi muffins.
I did some mending. My favorite yellow linen pants had a hole in them from last fall when I accidentally poked them with my pencil. I decided to patch them and then saw that there was an even bigger hole on the left knee, so I patched that too. I find mending very satisfying. I do worry, though, that it might be considered not really acceptable to wear patched clothes at work. I patch my kids clothes all the time, but maybe the standard of appearance is different from kids vs. working professionals? Anyhow, I figured one of the benefits of working in the arts is that wearing patched clothes is probably okay since our dress code tends to be more relaxed and whimsy is not frowned upon. So I’ve been wearing them to work. Thank goodness because I really only have two or three pairs of pants right now.
We did a big purge of the kids’ toy room. The toys were getting overwhelming and the room was constantly messy. So we sat down and had the kids choose their five favorite toys/ sets and everything else got put into purgatory in the attic. This is what we were left with: – Doll House and Castle -Barbie house and accessories (This is a lot and I’m thinking that may need to be whittled down even more.) -Magnaformers -Blocks -Train Tracks -Matchbox cars and Hot Wheels garage (One cookie tin full.) -Trucks (we led the six year old keep six trucks) – Nugget and Fort play cushions – Kitchen and accessories – Baby Dolls and Toy Shopping Cart – stuffies. Each kid got to keep five – dress up clothes -Swedish Climbing Ladder (This is bolted to the wall so had to stay, but the kids do legitimately play on it.) -Things that the kids didn’t specifically say to keep, but which don’t take up a lot of room so we kept: The Speak n spell, Learn to Code Robot
Things that got sent to purgatory: Crazy Fort fort kit (which took up one big box – the kids really loved playing with this set during the pandemic, but they don’t build forts as much anymore), lots of trucks, all the craft kits, Transformers (surprisingly), stuffies not chosen.
What is left still feels like a lot. I guess since our kids are so far apart in age, there is going to be a wide range of toys. But we did put two big movie boxes of toys into the attic and just threw out a lot of the small or broken toys. (The 11 year old, who is a school bus patrol, apparently has been taking some of the small unmemorable figurines with her to the school bus and handing them out to younger kids as a reward for good behavior. I’m actually quite tickled that she is doing that. ) I think the ultimate goal is to whittle the toys down so they can go into another room, which will free up the toy room so that the 11 year old can have her own room. I think room sharing gets old once one is in the double digits. The toy room feels like a constant battle. I would love for it to be Pinterest organized and labelled, but the reality is if they can shove their toys easily to the side so that the cleaners can do the floors, I think I can begrudgingly live with that. So at least having fewer toys to shove into the perimeters will hopefully make said shoving go faster.
Something that made me smile: the six year old is starting to read, much to my surprise. during the Pandemic, I thought I might teach him using the How To Taech Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons, but it didn’t take. And then he got into a French Immersion program and we were told not to actively teach our kids to read because it sometimes confuses them as they are learning go read in French. So I just decided to let it go. We still read to him, but I didn’t try to ask him to sound out words or identify letters. Well the other day, I was driving him home and I heard … “ssssss- t- o…..p. Stop.” “can you read?” i asked him. “yeah.” “Who taught you?” “my brain.”
Grateful for: – My Yeti Rambler with Hotshot lid. I had originally got this cup to keep my tea hot, but this week I also had the realization that it could also keep my drinks cold. Not sure why it took me so long to figure this out. Anyhow, it was perfect for making iced chai in the morning and sipping it all day long. One morning I even treated myself to a chai at my favorite coffee place near work and they put it in my Yeti and it was a nice pick me up all day long. – Nice weather and longer hours of daylight. It had been raining all week which made the days kind of dreary. I had a happy hour scheduled with my mom’s group, and I thought it was going to have to be inside, but then the weather cleared up the afternoon of our happy hour. So we sat outside. And because we schedule our get togethers after bedtime, it was nice that the sun didn’t set until after 8pm so we still had some sunlight when we finally met up. – This gratitude entry in my journal made me laugh: “Grateful for not moving the bar” There is a bar in our show. (As in there is a scene that takes place in a restaurant.) Of course we can’t have the real bar in the rehearsal room because it is part of the set. So have a substitute bar in rehearsal that is heavy as f*ck. Like it takes five people and six dollies to move it. We’ve been rehearsing in two rehearsal rooms so we had to move the bar one day from one room to the other, and it wasn’t fun. And then we thought we would have to move back to the first room again. But then the stage manager thought through the schedule and decided that we wouldn’t have to move it again, perhaps ever. So grateful.
Looking forward to: -Tech week. Moving into the theatre! Prepping tech week food! I genuinely look forward to making sure I have food to get me though tech week. The week is long and stressful (I mean relatively – there are for sure more stressful jobs.), so I like to make sure I have food and snacks to get me through. In addition to the Costco snacks and mochi muffins, I’ll make a big batch of boiled eggs and bake muffins for a quick breakfast and have soup or curry that I can bring in a thermos for dinner. – Meeting up with friends one evening at a park for food trucks and live music. It is starting to be live outdoor music season here, one of my favorite summer activities. I don’t know how many we’ll get to with my heavy work schedule this summer, but I’m trying to bookmark all my favorite events so I remember when they are happening. (we did this. It was kind of a bust – the park was over crowded and there weren’t enough food trucks for everyone and the food and beer wasn’t that good and it was expensive. So webagged it and picked up sandwiches and went over to our friends’ house) – Summer camp. This is still on the list because I still haven’t done it and I think if I make myself look forward to it being done, I will get it done. I thought I had an idea of what to do, but then the one camp I was thinking of only does ages 8-12, and I need something that both the 6 year old and 11 year old can do together. There are many advantages to having kids 5 years apart, but finding activities that both can do together is not one of them.
What we Ate: Monday: Leftover Potatoe Leek Soup from the week before. Leftover soup has become one of our go to quick meal strategies.
Tuesday: Breakfast Sandwiches, made by the 11 year old.
Wednesday: Pasta and Meatballs in the Instant Pot.
Thursday: Sandwiches from Santucci’s, eaten in the park. Our first weekday park picnic of the season. Such an easy summer evening activity.
Friday: The Husband made stuffed zucchini. I ate leftovers at work.
Saturday: Happy Hour out with my mom’s group. I had mussels and asparagus. Meanwhile back at home, the Husband made pizza and the family watched the second Boss Baby movie. (The kids had watched the first movie on the plane to/from Amsterdam. Yes, they watched it twice.)
Sunday: Mac and cheese from the blue box and salad. Made my the 11 year old. I just realized – she made dinner twice this week. That feels kind of cool.
Sometimes I think of all the things that I’ll pass along to my kids – especially all the things that I want to pass along to them but will likely not ever see come to happen. I mean there’s the financial and material, but also I think about the intangible things. Whenever I think of holding on to stuff for my kids, I think of something the Minimalists said to a listener who was having a hard time cleaning out his parents’ house after their death. “You are your parent’s legacy,” they said, “not their stuff.” It’s still hard for me to get rid of things, but these words are a bit of comfort when I do chose to part with something – these bits and things are not me. But also it’s somehow more weighty to think that my legacy is something so much more lasting than stuff.
At any rate, a lot of the times as I think of what I want my little humans to learn from me, I wonder if any of the good things I want to pass along get through to them. Lord knows, the bad things do… the yelling and the petty grievances, and the bad habits – those I see in them in the most cringeworthy ways. But the good stuff? Or maybe I’m not giving them enough good fodder?
This week, while camping with the two little kids, I tried really hard not to be too busy to enjoy being out in the woods and hanging out with these two little creatures. I’m trying to not let the things that occupy my mind take up so much space that I can’t experience the things that I like about being in the tent – the air, the trees, the golden sunsets, the fire, the unplugging (though to be fair, we had plenty of cell signal the whole time so there was period scrolling and texting).
At one point, as I was trying to make dinner, I realized that I was having a good time. I was enjoying the sunshine and the woods and my kids’ antics. I paused and gave the five year old a big hug. “I’m so glad you’re camping with me. This is fun.”
He gave me back a big hug in return. I turned back to continue to make dinner.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him walk over to his little sister. His pesky little sister that not five minutes ago, was taking his sticks and fighting with him. The little sister who snatches his toys and then laughs in his face at his distress. The little sister who liked putting her feet in her face while they ride in the car. (I really should turn her car seat around…)
He walks over to her, gives her a big hug, and says, “I’m so glad you’re camping with me. This is fun.”
My heart grew a million times. Maybe the good stuff is getting passed down after all. Maybe the good stuff is the stuff that happens when I’m not even trying, but when I’m just simply loving them.
4pm on a Tuesday in December. The days continue to shorten.
I got my booster on Sunday, and was completely useless on Monday. I wonder if it was because I got a Moderna booster? Originally, I had gotten Pfizer vaccines with no side effects aside from a sore arm. I had read that there were some negligible benefits from mixing and matching boosters. At any rate, I got the booster at 5pm on Sunday. Compared with getting my original vaccine, which seemed like an EVENT with a site run by the National Guard in a huge white tent, the booster was kind of a very banal affair. I got my shot at the county health center and the fifteen minute waiting period was self monitored – no large wall clocks or health attendants.
At any rate, Sunday I felt fine, but Monday was rough. Despite it being 60 degrees and sunny, I felt chilly all day and could barely function. I took the kids to the bus stop and daycare, and then attempted to take the baby to the park. I pulled up to the park parking lot and couldn’t get out of the car, I was so cold and achy. We went to the library instead – the cleaners were at the house so I didn’t want to go home just yet. At least at the library I could sit while the baby did puzzles and read books. After the library, we got home and had lunch and then I gave up on actually doing anything and spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching This Is Us. I usually think of the basement/tv room as the Husband’s domain and rarely go down there to watch tv when he isn’t home. But if there was ever at time I wanted to just hunker on a big comfy couch in front of a big screen… well the day after my booster was it.
That evening we had planned to decorate the tree, but I was so out of it that I just moved from the downstairs couch to the upstairs couch, stopping to make two brie en croutes on the way there. (Or is it bries on croute? actually it’s not relevant because the Husband bought camembert by mistake – so I guess it was camemberts en croute.) We had planned to have snack dinner and trim the tree. I guess snack dinner still happened, and the tree got trimmed. My hazy memory of it was lots of squeals of excitement from the baby. Apparently every ornament was a new source of delight for her.
Christmas Tree – step one is the lights.
Tuesday, I felt somewhat better and ready to deal with life. Namely meeting the locksmith because over the weekend, the baby managed to lock the door to the toy room, and we DIDN’T HAVE A KEY!!!! Which isn’t really a big deal, except that we keep the baby’s clothes in the toy room. Anyhow, the grumpy old man of a locksmith opened the door and then chastised us for having keyed locks on our interior doors and re-keyed the toy room lock.
I have to say that I was tempted never to tell the kids that we had unlocked the door to the toy room. Even for the two days that the toy room was locked… no one asked about it. The kids found plenty to play with around the house – a box of blocks, a cardboard box or two, books. I think we actually got to Thursday before the four year old discovered that he could actually get back in the toy room. It really made me realize that we probably don’t really need an entire room just for toys. Or even the toys themselves. I don’t know that I’m ready to embrace such a minimalist mantra, but I think knowing that it’s possible is a good thought to have in the back of my head.
The rest of the week was taken up by… paid work!!!
Oh green sticky tabs! How I’ve missed you!
I got a call the week before asking if I was available to run the supertitles for a new jazz opera. Initially I was reluctant because finding childcare for the baby always feels like a huge hurdle. But the Husband said that he could take one afternoon off work so that I could go to rehearsals, and the company presenting the work said that I only had to come to one afternoon rehearsal. So I agreed.
I haven’t run titles in a while, but it’s pretty straightforward. It’s basically running a 300+ slide PowerPoint presentation set to music. This piece was a little tricky because some of the slides were stage directions or descriptors rather than just the sung text, so I had to watch the stage as well as read the music. And also the piece was more jazz than opera in certain parts. That’s not a genre that my ear is used to, so it was sometimes challenging to follow. But all in all, I had a great time. I described it to my friend as “All the fun parts of calling a show, without a million other people asking you questions about other things.”
The laptop I was given to use, was one the same one the Opera uses for their title needs, and I was a little sad to see the home screen still had the supertitle files for the three shows we were working on in March 2020 when the pandemic shut everything down. Staring at those files made March 2020 seem both like yesterday and of another time altogether.
It was weirdly familiar to walk into the building again.. to check in with the security guard, to talk to the crew, to hear another voice on headset calling cues and giving pages. To wearing my blacks again. Though none of them fit after all these months and I just settled for dresses and leggings. There is something about sitting through a tech that is so familiar yet still sends gives me chills of anticipation.
The other funny thing about this gig, I realized, was that even though it was my first job back in this building, everyone else had clearly been back at work for a while. There was an ease and acceptance about constantly wearing masks and checking vaccine cards that, while it still felt new for me, was clearly the normal for everyone else I saw… the audience, the crew, the performers. I know I had worked this past summer, but even still, I didn’t think we’d be masking indefinitely. Yet here we are.
Fun things this week:
The older kids have been teaching the baby new phrases. Favorite ones – the four year old has been really into making up knock knock jokes, which have been hilarious in their banal lack of knock knock humour. Like: “Knock, knock!” “Who’s there?” “Truck!” “Truck who?” “There’s a truck on the road!” Anyhow, he’s been teaching the baby to go around saying, “Knock knock!” and it’s hilarious because that’s about as far as she gets. The nine year old has been teaching the baby to say, “Rock, rock, rock!” As if it were some alternative version of “Rock Paper Scissors!” I mean objectively these things aren’t that amusing, but when you have the older kids egging on the baby to yell these things as loud as she can, it’s kind of adorable. And loud.
The produce situation has gotten out of hand, so this week I spent an afternoon making kale chips and zucchini muffins. So satisfying to use things up rather than just throwing it in the worm bin!
use it up snacks!
Quote of the week – we were at a birthday party for the boy across the street – one of those affairs where we didn’t know anyone so we hung out in the basement with the kids. There was a high school student there too, the son of a friend – tall, gangly, and so very game for whatever antics the younger kids wanted to put him through. Anyhow, at one point, the nine year old became very fascinated by the idea of his being a high schooler and asked, “Is high school fun?” And he replied with this huge grin, “Yeah. You gotta have the right friends then high school’s a lot of fun. Good friends and playing sports.” Something about the way he said it made me so happy – like he knew high school wasn’t about grades or your future. I mean sure those things are important, but that’s not what you’re going to carry in your heart about those years.
And this photo from the building I work in… how I’ve missed it:
The building is wearing it’s honors garb!
What We Ate:
Saturday: Birthday party at neighbor’s – Peruvian Chicken and birthday cake– a gluten free, dairy free, egg free cake that tasted amazing.
Sunday: Leftover night
Monday: Snack dinner – camembert en croute, sausage, cheese, crackers, fruit – and tree trimming
Tuesday: Curry noodle soup, adapted from Thai Coconut soup in Vegan for Everyone.
Wednesday: I had soup and sandwich from Whole Foods on my dinner break. The Husband made pork and eggplant stir fry for the kids.
Thursday: Butter Chicken from Urvashi Pitre’s Indian InstantPot
Friday: Pizza (take out) and movie for the family while I went to work.
