Tag: weekly recap

Weekly recap + What We ate: Learning to find the moments even in tech

The view from my console.

Well, that last weekend was a very full weekend! And it was followed by a very full week, so I’m posting about a week behind. There has been the time suck of ill children this week, and this post has been sitting languishing in my drafts folders for many many days. But for those of your following along, here’s the run down of life lately….

First off, we hosted the 11 year old’s basketball team for a sleepover. They came over Friday night, we had a build your own pizza station, and they made a huge Thank You Poster for their coach. I think six girls stayed the night. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping. Which I expected. What I didn’t expect (and maybe I should have?) was that most of the girls brought some kind of screen, either a phone or a tablet. So even though I told them to turn their lights out at 11pm and took away the tv remote, they were still up on their devices. I’m torn as to whether or not I should have collected their devices at Lights Out. On the one hand, sleepovers are kind of supposed to be a free for all, but on the other hand, the 11 year old commented to me afterwards how people didn’t really interact as much as she wanted – no one would play Uno with her, for example – because they were all on their screens on looking on to someone else’s screen. I don’t know if next time, I should tell the parents to leave their kids’ screens at home, or to just be stricter about collecting them, or have more organized activities?

After the last kid was picked up, I decided that I needed to get out of the house so we went to a nearby trail for a little walk. It’s not the most picturesque trail, but it was nice to see some signs of spring and the kids liked climbing the rocky outcrop they found.

Then off to work and opening night, which went smoothly. I fee like there was a somewhat collective sigh of relief that we got this show to opening, since last time we did this show, there was a global pandemic and we had to stop before the first onstage orchestra rehearsal. Funny story, there is a sign on a bulletin board in the theatre dated, March 3th, 2020 that encourages mask using. I’m not sure if the memo is left up out of neglect or some odd sense of memorium.

Then daylights savings the next day, which I had completely forgotten about, but somehow the Husband managed to get the two little kids up and to 8:30am mass on time. Daylights savings after a late night is always tough. I was so disoriented when I woke up to a quiet house and a watch that say 8:45am, and a clock that said 9:45am.

The Husband brought the kids home in time for me to bundle them back up and go to skating lessons. After skating lessons, there was a park, then home for lunch. Then we had a family adventure to the outlets to try to find some luggage. We wanted to get the 11 year old her own rolling suitcase for our Spring Break Trip, and we found something for her at the Samsonite store. Of course the two little kids also decided they wanted luggage, but let’s be real, I don’t know that the three year old is going to pull her own rolling suitcase through an airport. So we stopped by Target and got them (relatively) inexpensive rolling suitcases – cheerful luggage that will hopefully last three or four years. I still need to replace my rolling suitcase – it’s well over 20 years old, the wheels have disintegrated and it’s actually probably a little too long to fit in the overhead these days. A project for the weeks to come, I think.

On the way home, the Husband called an audible for dinner and we ended up at Dog Fish Head brewery for dinner, which was a tasty way to finish off the weekend, and a much needed bit of de-stressing since I think we were all cranky and overwhelmed by the shopping. There are just so. many. options. in the world. Then we went home and watched the Oscars.

Anyhow, the week before that very busy weekend was the rest of tech week, which went pretty smoothly. The schedule eased up quite a bit once we started rehearsing with orchestra, and we even had a few days without rehearsal. I know I say this all the time, but I still feel like I’m not great at switching between working 12 hours a day and 2 hours a day. I find I tend to be a slug on lighter work days and then life tasks don’t get done – so trying to find ways to balance the need to slug and the need to get through the list of things that had been put off during tech.

The three year old continued her contributions to science by participating in the trail for the Pfizer booster. It had occurred to me last month that she was eligible for the booster, and when I asked the group that administers the trial if I could go ahead and get her booster, they said I could but then she would have to withdraw from the trial. So… figuring that things were pretty low risk right now, and that the $150 might be nice for her college fund, we decided to wait until the booster trial opened up. That turned out to be a three hour appointment. But she got a cute teddy bear out of it!

Some random thoughts on the Oscars: I didn’t get to watch all of it because bedtime fell right in the middle of everything, but what I did see checked a lot of boxes for glamour, pretty people, and touching thank you speeches that reminded me how powerful public gratitude can be. Some thoughts:
-The clothes! Let’s be real, this is why I watch – I think I’ve seen exactly one of the movies that were nominated. (Tar, for the record) My favorite gown was Cara Delevingne’s huge red dress. I thought it was classic Hollywood glamour on a large scale. And also the Rock in the blush pink satin tuxedo. That made me smile.

And it even has pockets!
It’s a little shiny, but I love the pop of colour in a sea of black.

– The folks who won for Best Live Short, singing happy birthday to one of their stars, James Martin. I mean how awesome is that? You have a global platform and only 45 seconds, and you use it to give your star the gift of two thousand people singing happy birthday?

– A moment that really connected for me was when Ernestine Hipper, who won for Production Design said, “When I started this, I was told – don’t ever forget, you are only as good as your team… ” And it made me think of my awesome colleagues and how I had just had a hard tech week and thank goodness I have a rock solid beyond competent team of stage managers to work with me because they make me look good, and it would have definitely been harder without them.

– Everything, Everywhere, All at Once sweeping the awards. I have yet to see this movie, but I very much want to. I mean how many times will I get to see a movie where the main character wears a print blouse and a puffer vest, just like my grandmother did? So that was lovely, and all the speeches thanking immigrant parents really hit close to home. The Asians who thanked their parents for letting them do what they wanted…

Grateful For:
– A very smooth opening night and the privilege to work on this show.
– Smiling Mind meditations. I’m (still) trying to wean the three year old at night. I’m feeling slightly ridiculous about this, but sometimes it’s the only pathway to sleep. Lately I’ve been able to get her to sleep before she demand “Milk!!!!” by playing a bedtime meditation for her and the six year old after we read books. I’ve been using the app Smiling Mind, an app based out of Australia. I picked it mostly because it is free, but the cute Australia accent is nice to listen to as well. There aren’t a whole lot of options for meditations, but my kids are creatures of habit and listen to the same one over and over again.
– Small moments to savor this week – the little bits of things that let me pause and enjoy being, like…
Golden sunsets on my dinner time run:

Steaming cups of chai. I’ve been making my own chai concentrate at home and enjoying a cup of chai in the afternoons, wrapping my cold hands around the fragrant warmth of the cup of milky brown tea. I find the pre-made chai too sweet for my taste so I started experimenting with making my own. I’m still working out the perfect recipe; I can’t seem to get my chai spicy enough. Currently I’m using cardomon pods, star anise, cinnamon stick, black peppercorn, ginger and tumeric. Maybe more ginger? Maybe grate the ginger?

Packing lunches for the kids. It seems silly to be grateful for such a tedious chore, but after working so many evenings and being gone for bedtime, I felt grateful that I could do this one thing for my kids every day. (Well, not every day. About half the time the 11 year old packs her own lunch.)

lunch x3!

For the kids being adorable and cute and at that age when they get a lot of joy out of dressing alike. I had picked up this blue eagle shirt for the six year old a couple of years ago and he looooooves wearing his shirt. “My Robot Eagle Shirt”, he calls it. And he always wears it with red bottoms. I was worried what would happen when he outgrew the shirt, but then I was able to find the shirt one size bigger on Poshmark. Anyhow, now the original shirt has been passed on, and the kids do cute things like this:

Twinsing!

This jigsaw puzzle – a soothing opportunity to shift my brain during rehearsal breaks. One of my co-workers brought in this charming puzzle made by Wentworth Wooden Puzzles – the pieces are made of wood and feel so satisfying to click into place, and some of the pieces are shaped like objects. I thought this clipboard was very appropriate for our Stage Management Office.

I’m a beginner puzzler, but I thought this puzzle fantastic!

The clean living room. One day, the 11 year old declined to go out running errands with us, saying that she would stay home and tidy. I was skeptical. But we got home and lo and behold:

Spring. I took a few hours to wander at the botanical gardens one day, to pause and breathe and enjoy the colours of spring.

Looking Forward To:
– Weekday lunch with the Husband. Like a date, almost.
– Time to breathe and work on all the things that get put off during tech.
– My brother and his family are coming to visit this summer! It’s a couple months away, but we haven’t seen them in a while, so I’m excited to see them.

What We Ate:

Saturday: I brought at hummus and cucumer sandwich to work. The Husband made pizza for movie night. I think they watched The Good Dinosaur.

Sunday: The Husband and kids had dumplings. I had Green Room chicken – as in there was a catered event at the theatre next door, which my friend was working. There was too much food leftover, so my friend brought it over and I had chicken and rice and salad for dinner.

Monday: The Husband made waffles with sauteed mushrooms for the kids. I packed ramen to eat at work.

Tuesday: Roasted Garlic Potato Soup from Family by Hetty McKinnon. Made before I went to work and was able to take myself a thermos full. The kids said this was bland, but the Husband and I thought it was tasty. Actually the best part was the salty paprika garlic almonds that the recipe calls for as a garnish. Vegan.

Wednesday: Vegetarian Jap chae. A kitchen sink, clean out the fridge meal. Vegan.

Thursday: Veggie quiche, made before I went to work. Another attempt to use up veggies in the fridge.

Friday: Pizza/ basketball team sleepover.

Saturday: Leftovers for me. The Husband and kids had pizza (homemade, I think?) and watched Frozen.

Sunday: Dog Fish Head Brewery. I had nachos and the ahi tuna sandwich. It all felt very indulgent.

Weekly recap + what we ate: tech week snacks and a new month

I’m half way through tech week – it’s the light at the end of the tunnel part of getting a show onstage. It’s been rough, sometimes frustratingly and despairingly so, and I’ve really questioned my ability to do my job. But things always magically happen- well, not magically, actually, It takes a lot of wonderfully talented and thoughtful people. So we are getting there, I’m learning a lot about how to stand up for what I think is needed. I’m really looking forward to going to sleep before midnight again.

It’s a new month and I took a moment to write a few February highlights and and lowlights and some plans and aspirations for the next 31 days. A lot of these things have been pushed off til the next few weeks when my schedule is lighter and I’m not at the theatre for 12 hours a day.

February Lowlights:
Work drama and stresses
Colleagues moving on to other jobs. I mean I’m happy for them, but I will miss their presence and wisdom.
Repairs at one of the rental properties we manage. Nothing we can’t handle, but irksome to have to deal with it.

February Highlights:
The 6 year old’s Chuck E. Cheese party.
Having friends over for the Superbowl.
Booking some work for the summer.
Going to see Into The Woods.
The lovely and charming vocal recital that I ran the titles for.

March Aspirations:
For Me:
– Learn 12 new Chinese characters. I’ve been slowly trying to learn to read in Chinese. I don’t know how practical this is because I feel like written Mandarin is very different from spoken Mandarin. But I’m trying to learn 100 characters by the end of the year. Which, I know, is not a huge amount, but baby steps.
-Continue to find time to write here on this blog.
– Run 3x a week, and incorporate 10 minutes of yoga or strength work a day.
– Happy Hour with my Moms’ Group. This is scheduled. Yay.
– Find a pair of casual shoes for our Spring Break Trip. I have new running shoes so I now wear my old trail runners as my every day shoe (which also helps me get a run in at work because I can still run in them so if I don’t remember my running shoes it’s not a big deal). But I would like a pair of casual yet cut shoes for city walking. I had a pair of Olukai slip on shoes, but they have a hole in them now, and I don’t like the current colour selection. Suggestions welcome for colourful, comfortable and durable shoes!
-Reach out to friends for some lunch dates once my show is open.

House/Organizational:
– TAXES. This is the big one. Maybe I should just make it the one thing on my list…
– Clean out the guest room that has become baby clothes storage.
– Order more shade samples for the living room.
– Turn over the kids clothes for Spring. There is a big consignment sale at a local preschool so before I check that out, I want to go through the kids clothes so I know what I need to buy for the kids to get them through the summer.
– Help with Laundry more.

Family
– Sleepover for the 11 year old’s basketball team. 11 girls. pizza, movie, soda, cookies, waffles, tater tots. I think only half are sleeping over, though.
– Plan Spring Break. It’s coming up soon!
– Date night or Date Lunch with Husband.
– Figure out summer childcare/camps. Late to the game, I know, but I just recently booked summer work. I hadn’t been planning on needing any summer child care, then boom. This is one of the fall outs of my colleagues leaving the business – people were suddenly looking for stage managers.
-Work on family routines for cleaning and organizing that the kids will buy into. Or maybe the solution is constant nagging for the next 18 years?

Work
-Survive tech.
-then clean out my inbox and do my IT training.

Fun
– Hike the Billy Goat Trail. I hiked it last fall and I’d love to do it again in the Spring.
– Cherry Blossoms. I just read that peak bloom has been moved up to March 18th, which seems ridiculously early. But this coincides with a lighter time at work, so I’ll make plans to go down during the week when it’s not so crowded.
– Family adventure. Not sure what this would be. Maybe another hike. Maybe a little half day trip? I’ll have to ponder. It’s tricky because weekends are often booked with my work or skating lessons for the kids, so our adventure would have to be pretty local.

Some Fun Things This Week:
– I went to Costco! Twice, actually. One time for regular family restocking, and then the day we moved into the theatre, I stopped on the way to work to pick up some fun snacks for the office. Through my colleague, I have discovered Whisps! They are baked cheese crackers. Like you know when you make a grilled cheese sandwich and some of the cheese leaks out onto the griddle and gets all bubbly and toasty and crunchy? Whisps is like a whole bag of those. They are delicious. But also, sometimes they taste like the way string cheese smells when you find it hardened under the car seat. I’ll leave it to you to decide if that’s your thing, but I certainly could eat a bag by myself.

Also tried these bubble tea mochis. I like them, but probably not enough to buy them again. I’d rather just have bubble tea.

And and and… my a Costco discovery in the freezer section that made me super excited:

So when I was growing up my grandmother would visit from Taiwan and bring me White Rabbit Candy. It’s kind of a taffy like vanilla candy wrapped in edible rice paper. Seeing a popsicle version – at Costco of all places – brought back so many memories that I just had to try them. They taste just like the candy, expect maybe a little creamier and they don’t get stuck in your teeth the same way. I find it interesting the random Asian treats that I find at our Costco.

– I had a long walk and lunch with my friend. We walked to the cafe and had brunch – I had quiche. And she had a latte and I had a ginger turmeric chai, we both had pastries. Mine was a blueberry rhubarb Amann and it was delicious. And we sat outside and enjoyed the sunshine and brisk, but not too brisk, weather.

– Clementines. I love clementine season. The little oranges are the perfectly portable sweet snack. I also love that the kids can peel them by themselves. We go through a bag in two days so we buy a lot when they are in season. (When they are not in season, I find them very uninspiring.) One of my favorite things to do with them is to peel them and then leave them out so that the membranes get a little dry and crispy. When you bit into the slices you get a delicate crunch of dried shell, then the burst of sweet juicy fruit. It’s a small pleasure, probably made more so by having peeled them and then having to wait for the outsides to dry.

peeled and waiting for the membranes to dry. It’s actually tricky to get to the right degree to dry membrane because someone inevitably comes by and eats them…

-Signs of Spring. Seems too soon, but things are blooming and I’m enjoying the new bits of colour in the landscape.

    – Not fun, per se, but watching the 11 year old’s basketball game. They played a team of 6th graders and lost by one point. Losing on free throws is always hard and made me a little angry. But … I’ve been really enjoying being able to go to her games and cheer her on. I never thought I’d be a good sports parent – cheering and clapping always makes me feel self conscious, but these basketball games really brought out the cheerleading parent in me, I guess. There is something really fun about sitting in the stands with other parents and watching a nailbiter of a game.

    Mystery of the week: Where did the waffle batter go? The Husband made a double batch of waffle batter one night for dinner, and saved half of it to make for dinner this past week. Well, we can’t find it. It’s not in either of our fridges. It’s not in the pantry. It’s not in any of the cupboards. I am kind of dreading the day when we find a six month old container of waffle batter in an utterly random corner of the house.

    Grateful for this week:
    – As with every tech week – first prize gold star goes to the Husband for holding down the fort every evening. He makes dinner, he scrapes the ice off my car in the morning, he cleans the kitchen at night. He goes to pick up the kids when they have an accident at school. He’s been awesome.
    – My favorite pencils – Pentel Twist-erase mechanical pencils. The best features: a) 0.9 lead, nice and thick and won’t break when I’m writing quickly, and b) the barrel is red so I don’t lose them, c) the eraser which is thick enough so that it doesn’t shred the page when I rub too hard. I bought these pencils in a 12 pack last year because I didn’t ever want to be without.
    – 2020 me for keeping such a neat prompt book. I literally took my score from this show in 2020 and copied all the tech cues into my 2023 score. There were still a lot of things that we discovered when we got onstage because… well we only had two tech rehearsals in 2020 before we were all sent home. So certain cues we never even had to a chance to realize that we would need them. But even so, it’s been great to be able to have all the cues in my book before we started onstage so I’m not putting in additional hours writing them in when I’m already at the theatre till 11pm at night.

    Looking forward to:
    – Opening night. This is the show I was working on when the pandemic shut everything down. It’s been a little surreal to be working on it again.
    – Pizza party/movie night/sleepover for the 11 year old’s basketball team. (Apparently according to my niece this is actually a slumber party, not a sleepover…) We’re going to have the players make their own pizza and then the Husband says he’s just going to throw them in the basement and hand over the remote. I think about 11 preteens will be descending on us, though only half are actually staying the night. Waffles in the morning.
    – working on my taxes. This is not a “looking forward to” because I find doing my taxes fun, but rather “looking forward to” in that I need to get it off my plate and I know I’m going to feel a lot better when it’s done. We actually have a person do our taxes, so I just need to find the information for our spreadsheet of deductible expenses and gather the tax documents.

    What We Ate: another week of barely planned dinners:

    Saturday: pizza (take out) and Good Night, Oppy. Such a good movie! This is a documentary about the Mars rovers Perseverance and Opportunity. They were originally anticipated to last 90 days on Mars, but Opportunity lasted fifteen years. There was something really human about this little rover wandering the planet, capturing pictures, and the scientists and engineers behind it.

    Sunday: Dinner at our friend’s house before the Husband and the 11 year old went to the theatre with them. Our friends make ribs and hot dogs and salad and curly fries.

    Monday: Defrosted some carrot parsnip soup – the husband fed the kids that with leftover pizza from the weekend. I was working, so I’m sure I packed something out of the fridge.

    Tuesday: Perch and bagged salad. I was a Costco and it being Lent and we want to eat more fish, I bought a giant package of Perch.

    Wednesday: eggs, fruit, cut up veggies. This was the night of the waffle batter mystery.

    Thursday: Coconut Soup from Family by Hetty McKinnon.

    Friday: I was working through most of my dinner break, and managed only to shove half a sandwich and a soy egg in my mouth before rehearsal. I’m not sure what the rest of the family had for dinner. I think they had take-out sushi.

    Weekly recap + what we ate: Attention

    A night at the theatre!

    I had to work both Saturday and Sunday last week, but Sunday was the supertitle gig, so it did actually feel like a break from my opera job. And running titles is fun because I get to enjoy the music and run the titles projections and I don’t have to talk to anyone. When I’m stage managing sometimes it feels like there is someone constantly talking to me. One fun thing that I did Sunday morning before going to work was take the eleven year old on a run. She usually has a swim clinic on Sundays, but lately has been reluctant to go, so I offered that we could go for a run instead. (I was partially inspired by Coco for this idea; I always love reading about how she runs with her children.) We went to the track at the middle school and ran laps and then did a few passes up and down the stairs while listening to Against the Odds. We didn’t go very far or very fast, but at least we kept moving.

    Monday was President’s Day, and the kids were off school. I was working, so the Husband took the kids down to the Mall to visit the Natural History Museum. This seems to be the Husband’s routine on no school days with the kids – he takes the on the Metro downtown to see a museum. I have to say I’m quite jealous because I have yet to go to any museums this year and I told myself I would make a point to visit the more frequently. It just seems like all the free museums are a perk of living in the DC area and I don’t take advantage of it enough.

    The highlight of the week was definitely going to the theatre to see Into the Woods. The day was unseasonable warm – almost 80 degrees and sunny. I attempted to go on a run during my lunch break, but I was not dressed for such weather – I made it about ten minutes then got really hot, and went back to the office. I did go for a walk earlier that day, so the weather was enjoyed and savored. After work, my friend picked me up and we headed down to the theatre, stopping to pick up food on the way from Flower Child, a new to me restaurant chain that is purports to be healthy. I had a tofu plate with curry cauliflower and yuzu brussel sprouts and it was pretty tasty. The weather was so warm that we could sit on the back terrace of the theatre to eat.

    The show itself was wonderful. I laughed so hard throughout and then I almost cried at the end. I first heard Into the Woods in high school – I think I saw the telecast of the original Broadway cast on PBS or we rented the video or something. The orchestra was onstage in this version, and it made me really appreciate the music a lot more – especially the strings and the very busy percussionist who did a lot of the sound effects. I sort of regret not bringing my 11 year old, but she went to see it later on with the Husband, so I think it’s okay. Some more of my favorite moments:
    – Cole Thompson as Jack singing “Giants in the Sky”. It’s my favorite song in the whole show.
    – The amazing puppet work and the very hilariously meta way that Kennedy Kenagawa the puppeteer/actor that played Milky White the cow was integrated into the action. There was no pretending that we couldn’t see the man behind the curtain.
    -The scene change when everyone goes into the woods and birch trees come floating down from above. I know the mechanics about how things fly in – often I’m watching it from the side of the stage, making sure no one is standing in the way of things flying in. To see it happen from the audience point of view- I am reminded how magical these simple theatre maneuvers are. How, with a bit of man power and proper riggings, something very simple – attaching scenic elements to a pipe and slowly lowering them to the ground along with a change in lighting- can bring about stunning transformations.
    -At the end of intermission, a voice announced that for the remainder of the show, the role of the Baker would be played by his understudy. Said understudy was playing Rapunzel’s Prince, and so the role of Rapunzel’s Prince would be played by his understudy. (I had seen the Baker limping at the end of the first act, but I thought he was acting. I guess not?) What excitement and frenetic arrangements must have been taking place backstage while I was enjoying some fresh air at intermission! Okay, the best part was when it came time for the scene in Act Two where Rapunzel’s Prince and Cinderella’s Prince enter for their second duet – the two men entered, greeted each other, as in the script, then Cinderella’s Prince says totally deadpan, “Brother, you look different.” Brought. Down. The. House. I laughed so hard. I love it when actors can riff with ease like that.
    – One thing that I really appreciated about the show was that it wasn’t too loud. I often find that when I go see musicals, everything is so loud that it is distracting. I don’t know if it was because the orchestra was onstage, but I found that the levels for the performers was perfect – I could hear them and they didn’t seem overamplified.

    Bad Moment/Good Moments: Getting the kids to clean up after dinner (or really clean up in general) is still proving to be a struggle. There was definitely some yelling this week. There was one day when dinner was super loose because the Husband was trying to make it to Ash Wednesday service, so he ate first, but then when he left for church all the kids left the table and disappeared. It made me so angry to have no one answer when I called them back to the table, and then to have to clean the kitchen by myself. I just want my kids to be helpful! I yelled and then went outside and stood in the driveway in the cold air for a while. What awful roommates they are.

    But then there are days when they just dance by themselves in the kitchen, and it just makes me smile to see them bopping away on their own:

    dance party

    Podcast listen of the week: This episode about how to manage your attentions span from The Art of Manliness (I find the title “The Art of Manliness” really cringe-y, but they do cover a wide array of fascinating things.) The guest on the program, Dr. Gloria Mark is a professor who studies attention span, and actually wrote a book called Attention Span: A Groundbreaking Way to Restore Balance, Happiness and Productivity. Ironically, it took me over a week to get through this podcast as I kept getting distracted. The discussion (which there is a transcript at the link) discussed how attention span seems to be shrinking, whether or not technology and media has contributed to this shrinking attention span or is merely a reflection of it, how your personality type reflects your attention span, and why multi-tasking makes us inefficient. As someone who often finds it hard to sit and focus for long periods of time, I really connected with a couple of points:
    – Dr. Mark talks about how task switching really can torpedo attention span and points out how even when one is concentrating on doing one thing, there is a significant amount of task switching within that thing. They use the example of planning a trip – even when doing that one thing, it’s comprised on many small tasks – checking tickets, switching over to checking calendars, the logging into your bank account, etc. So there is a huge potential to get distracted and fatigued from task switching. I think this is why consciously breaking down large projects into smaller portions is a good tactic.
    -I had mentioned in a previous post about the morningness-eveningness quiz which helps determine an ideal bedtime and you”morningness/eveningness” type. I had first heard about the quiz from The Art of Manliness site before the podcast was released and it was interesting to hear them talk about how to use the quiz results in context of attention span. One of Dr. Mark’s main ideas is that we can get a handle on our attention span by acting with more agency and deliberately planning our day to when we are the most alert – not groundbreaking advice by any means, but I had never thought to really try to find out when my most alert times of day were. I realized that I haven’t been maximizing my morning-evening type lately, and as a result I’ve had some pretty inefficient days at work. I’ve had a few days with a very light rehearsal schedule, and I usually run in the mornings because the trail is near the bus stop so it makes sense to do the school bus run then hit the trail. But then I don’t get to work until noon or 1pm and then I find it hard to concentrate. Given that the quiz seems to indicate that I’m an intermediate/morning type, I think it might make more sense to go to work after the school bus drop off and then have my run later in the afternoon when I find myself getting more distracted. I’m going to try to implement that whenever possible and see if I find it easier to focus and plough through stuff by getting to work earlier.
    -My favorite point – They talk about how distraction is not necessarily a bad thing because studies have shown that giving yourself positive brain breaks actually can replenish your cognitive resources. This got me thinking of positive brain breaks I can take. And some of the things I came up with:
    > doing a downward dog and some light stretching
    > reading the list I keep of funny things my kids say/ looking at cute kid pictures
    >have a chat about non-work things with my colleagues. No complaining allowed.
    > go for a walk outside and savor nature.
    > do some leisure reading
    > have a tasty snack or some water
    > do something creative like doodle a random art prompt, or write a haiku
    > Say thank you or compliment someone.
    > Do a puzzle or a brain game.
    What I want to avoid, when I need a positive brain break is scrolling on my phone or taking on a lot of negative energy or emotion from someone else. I’m not on social media because I found it mentally and emotionally draining, but there are still lots of other websites and forums which I don’t feel recharged after visiting. So I like the idea of having alternatives to my phone when I find myself unable to focus. This actually ties to something I did last month. I created a screen on my phone of “positive activities.” I had heard the idea on a podcast of creating a folder on your phone for social media alternatives so that when you feel the urge to aimlessly scroll, you can go to that folder instead. I did a variation on this, and put certain apps that I feel positive about on one screen, so when I idly pick up my screen for a little break, I tell myself to check out those activities first. It doesn’t work all the time, but many times, it does keep me from internet rabbit holes.

    Home Screen

    My positive apps: photos; weather; Smiling Mind (meditation, mostly I use for the kids); Libby and Hoopla for library books; Duolingo to practice my Mandarin; Runkeeper; Podcasts; Notes for random thoughts and haikus; Wordle – did you know you can set any website to be an icon “app”? I think this is genius because now I can go directly to Wordle rather than getting distracted by other sites when I open my browser. I’m contemplating adding Spotify or a music app or Audible to my “positive break” page. But then I would cover up the Husband’s face even more and we can’t have that.

    Grateful For:
    – Windows in the rehearsal hall. I’ve worked in many a company where we rehearse in a windowless bunker – cafeterias, basements, church auditoriums… You go in in the morning and emerge blinking into the light at midday and then back in after lunch then at the end of the day come out to the dark of night; it is always a little disorienting. The rehearsal room I’m working in now has huge floor to ceiling windows . I love how the windows let in the sunlight and I can see the progress of the day outside. Our windows face west, and some days I can watch the sun set and see the pink and orange skies – it is a lovely positive brain break during long rehearsal days.
    – That I sometimes get staff discounts for performance tickets. It’s a definitely perk of where I work. I will be the first to admit that going to a live performance is expensive; I am so grateful for people who come to see shows and help pay my salary. At the same time, I know I would very rarely prioritize paying full price for a live performance unless it were something very special. So having access to a discounted ticket here and there from work makes me feel so lucky.
    – Drop off birthday parties and the parents who throw them. The six year old is at an age now where he is invited to drop off parties. I don’t mind terribly having to make awkward small talk with other parents, but when I’m working and there is only one parent at home and three children to watch, being able to drop a child off at a party is a gift. I picked the six year old up from a party and I literally said to the birthday child’s parent, “Thank you for having a drop off party!”

    Looking forward To:
    – A morning walking date with my work bestie on our day off on Thursday. I see her almost every day at work, but it’ll be nice to have some time to talk about non-work stuff.
    – Cooking from Cookbooks. I put a bunch of cookbooks on hold at the library recently and they all came in at the same time. In retrospect, the week I start rehearsal is hardly an ideal time to dive into new recipes. I’ve leafed through them for some of the simpler ideas to use these next few weeks, and I’m planning on cooking from one of them on my day off – probably a soup so I’ll have easy leftovers. I’m really looking forward to cooking from them once the show opens. I love reading cookbooks, and one of them is part memoir, part cookbook which I’ve been reading during breakfast and it’s been lovely.
    -Tech week! Coming up. I’m excited to get this show to Opening Night. I’ve started stocking up on all my favorite snacks.

    What We Ate:

    Saturday: Pizza (Husband made) and Star Wars. I have to admit that I fell asleep during this movie. I had had a couple late nights and Star Wars is a great movie, but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.

    Sunday: Chipotle. The 11 year old’s choice to celebrate an improved report card.

    Monday: Stir Fried Garlic Green Beans, Roasted Potatoes and Mac n Cheese. The Husband cooked – it was a bit of a fridge clean out kind of smorgasbord.

    Tuesday: Black Bean Soup from Hetty McKinnon’s Family: New Vegetable Classics to Comfort and Nourish. Since I was making this in the morning so the family could eat it that evening, I adapted her recipe for the Instant Pot, using dried beans instead of canned. Vegan.

    Wednesday: Breakfast for dinner – waffles and eggs and breakfast tacos. This was one of those days which we didn’t meal plan something and then the afternoon got busy and at 4:30pm, the Husband asked, “What should I make for dinner?” I initially suggested pancake because we had some Kodiak pancake mix, and when I got home he had the waffle maker out.

    Thursday: Butter Chicken and rice, using the leftover butter chicken sauce from last week.

    Friday: Tortellini with red sauce. Our usual Friday night quick dinner before the 11 year old’s basketball.

    Weekly Recap + what we ate: mind wandering and meanderings

    Sunday morning at the ice rink.

    This week felt really routine. Morning – breakfast/pack lunches/school bus run. Then Work. Then home to eat dinner (never made it home in time to make dinner). Then kids to bed and collapse in exhaustion. I had a couple late nights when I stayed up late to work on the slides for a supertitle gig. That probably explains the few nights that I collapsed in exhaustion. Sometimes I think wistfully on “college me” who could pull four or five all nighters in a row. I can’t do that anymore. I mean I like sleep, but also.. it sometimes feels like a waste of time.

    The week started off with Superbowl Sunday. We had friends over and lots of food. The kids ran around with minimal interest in the game, only coming down to eat periodically. I didn’t have druthers who won – I usually like just rooting for whomever is running with the ball. There’s something about a person running really fast while being chased that makes me want them to come out on top. It was a lovely social way to start the week.

    Mind wanders and life meanders from the week:

    It’s been taking a lot of mental energy to get through the decisions that have been thrown my way at work this week. Fine, we’ll get through. One of the Assistant Stage Managers on the show has brought in a jigsaw puzzle for the communal table in our office and we’ve been slowly working our way through. Or actually, not too slowly because it seemed like every time I came in in the morning, a new swath of puzzle was complete. Anyhow, a couple days ago, I came in to this:

    My co-workers had left the last piece for me to do. Isn’t that awesome? I left it undone, saying I wanted to save it for a really bad day so that I’d have something that could go right when I needed it.

    Haircut – I think I last got my haircut last year around this time. My modus operadi is to grow out my hair until it’s time to start a new gig, then to get it cut super short. I really should get my hair cut more, but I have to admit that my stylist is very expensive and it feels like his rates go up every time I get my haircut. Which, I guess if it’s only once a year, is understandable. Anyhow, my favorite part of getting my haircut super short- it now takes about five minutes to shower. Yay. When my hair gets long I sometimes am very reluctant to shower because it takes so long to wash my hair and then it takes a long time to dry. Oh – another perk, is I think the short hair hides the grey more. Or maybe not. I might just be kidding myself on that one.

    Masking – I ordered another batch of masks for the kids this week, which led me to contemplate the current state of masking where I am. I would say that I am seeing fewer and fewer masks, but I do see them continue to be worn when I am out and about- mostly older people and people with children and service providers. Currently only the two little kids still wear masks to school. Except for a few weeks ago when there were 3 COVID cases in the 6 year old’s classroom and everyone was asked to mask for 10 days, masks are not mandatory. I think it’s interesting that the two little kids still ask for their masks as they head out the door for school while the 11 year old no longer wears one unless we ask her to, for example if we go to the theatre or something. Masking at work is encouraged but not enforced for me, in addition my company still does mandatory twice a week COVID testing. I do think that is on the more cautious end of the spectrum. I still mostly mask at the grocery store, though I don’t worry if I forget. I think right now, I’ve resigned myself to the idea that we’ll just continue masking for a while, but not to be too strict about it. I also realize that my approach to masking is probably not entirely rational and likely just habit right now; COVID levels are really low where I am. Also – I feel like there is so much other stuff goin on out there right now… if it’s not COVID, the kids are going to be sick from something else.

    Petty annoyance of the week – Last week, spring swim lesson sign ups opened on Monday morning for our county swim program, and by the time I logged in at noon, all the slots for the beginner classes were taken, except for maybe 6:30pm on a Tuesday night, which is a little on the late side for us. I kind of knew the slots were going to fill fast and it still annoyed me mightily to have missed out. When the oldest was little, I would set my alarm for 6am on registration day to snag a swim lesson slot. I don’t know why I lost the will to do that these past few years. Second/third kid syndrome, maybe? I know if I were serious about getting the littles into swim lessons I would just sign them up for lessons with one of the private swim schools here. But they are so much more expensive. Anyhow, I think I will just try to take the kids to the pool more often during free swim time and then come summer sign them up for private lessons at our summer swim club. Sidenote story: A few months ago, I went to our local swim store to buy the eleven year old a new swimsuit and impulsively threw in a couple kickboards for the two little kids. Now the baby wanders around with her kick board asking, “When are we going to the pool?” She even has slept with it on occasion. So yeah, I think getting to the pool at least once this winter is on the to do list.

    Another petty annoyance of the week: The weather was beautiful all week and I wanted to bike to work, but after I got all my gear on and unearthed the bike from the shed, I went to put air in the tires and the valve to the tire was broken. AAAARGGH!!! I need to streamline the process for biking to work so that when it doesn’t work out I’m not so devastated to have lost thirty minutes of anticipation and preparation time. Anyhow, I’m sure it’s an easy fast fix, but I haven’t had time to do it yet… and I’m feeling very annoyed that beautiful weather is passing by while the bike sits unused. I guess it was a week for foiled plans – I also spent an entire morning putting up a baby gate for my parent’s tenants because the door to their basement broke, and basement stairs+ babies = bad combination. The baby gate absolutely needed to be done, and I was happy to do it, but having my morning routine thrown off track was annoying. Oh well… expect the unexpected.

    Proud Parent moment of the week: Last week was Valentine’s Day – a day that I usually mark with last minute trips to Target to survey the bottom barrel dregs of Valentine’s day cards available, or which I try to solve with Amazon next day shopping. I think my happiest moment last month was when the baby’s child care center emailed all the parents to notify us that the center does not celebrate Valentine’s Day and Valentine’s cards would not be necessary. Hallelujah!

    But that still left the two kids in elementary school with Valentines to procure. I tasked the Husband to work with the 11 year old for hers – she just wanted to give out candy. I took on the six year old. He wanted to hand out stickers. The Sunday before Valentine’s Day we went to Michael’s, and to my dismay, the Valentine’s Day items were already relegated to a tiny shelf, to make way, of course, or Easter and St. Patrick’s Day. There were no Valentine’s Day Stickers. No heart stickers. Nothing. But…. luckily, we found some French stickers – perfect because the six year old is in French immersion school. So I grabbed those and called it done. I took them home and had him write his name on the back of the right number of sticker sheets. The next night, I offered to write his classmate’s names for him. He said, “I want to write Ada because it is short. The other names are too long.”

    Okay, I figured that he could write Ada’s sticker sheet and I would write the rest of them. But… once he finished Ada, he looked at the rest of the names on his list and said, “I would like to try the other names.” And he did it! He wrote all twenty-four names of his classmates on the sticker sheets. I was just so proud of him for deciding that it was worth trying to do and doing it.

    Also – check out his new favorite accessory. Cracks me up.

    He’s overseeing the new construction of the Death Star, while writing Valentine’s Day Cards.

    Grateful For This Week:
    -The ridiculously mild weather. It was in the 50s and 60s all week. A couple days of rain, but other than that such nice weather. The crocuses are blooming which fill me with both joy and trepidation.

    It’s a February Spring.

    -The friend from my mom’s group who lent me the baby gate for my parent’s tenants. So glad I have a group of people I can just text for random asks like this.
    – The ice arena nearby where the six year old has been taking skating lessons on Sunday mornings. I’ve really been enjoying our Sunday morning routine these past few weeks. The price of skating lessons also includes a punch card for the skater to come to free skate to practice. So on Sundays, I’ve been taking the three year old and the six year old to the 11am free skate, and then the three year old and I will continue to skate while the six year old has lessons from 12:15 to 12:45pm. Then we have a snack and go to the park, and get home around 2:00pm for a late lunch. It’s been a nice way to spend a Sunday morning, and I get to go skating too, which is always fun. I love seeing how even in these six weeks, both kids have gotten so much better on skates. I can skate for a quarter lap of the rink without anyone clinging on to me! And I initially thought that they would get discouraged by falling, but they haven’t; they just get right back up and continue skating. I’ve already signed up both kids for the next session and I’m looking forward to it!
    – A friend and colleague whom I could just text with questions about my supertitle gig. (And this is where I get into the weeds of what I do…) Most of the translated titles that I format for these song recitals are for songs based on poetry. When formatting the projected titles, I’m always torn between maintaining the line of the original poem versus matching the line of the music. For example this poem by Edith Sitwell, set to music by William Walton:
    Through gilded trellises
    Of the heat, spangles
    Pelt down through the tangles
    Of bell flowers. Each dangles
    Her castanets, shutters
    Fall while the heat mutters.
    (You can hear the full song here if you choose – it’s a charming song.)

    Clearly the rhyming scheme doesn’t follow the line of the sentence. But the composer has set the musical phrases to follow the sentences, not the lines of poetry. At the same time, there is something so wonderful about the way the rhymes work. So the question is… is there an obligation, when writing the translation slides, to preserve the original line and rhyme scheme of the poetry?
    Anyhow, I texted my friend for her opinion and she reminded me: “When the translation title fights the musical line, it can be distracting.” Which is a good reminder that my job is really to help the audience understand the music, not admire the poetry.
    Also this question always good to ask: “Will the poet be at the recital?” My friend should really write a book on the art of writing supertitles.

    Looking Forward To:
    – Going to the theatre this week! I have tickets to see Into the Woods. At first I was going to go with the Husband and the 11 year old, but then the logistics of finding a sitter of the other two kids kind of overwhelmed me. (I know… we should be using a sitter more.) So the Husband and the 11 year old are going to go one night and I’m going with my friend/college roommate a different night. I’m so excited! My friend loves Into The Woods, and it’s her birthday week, so it feels celebratory. When we were in college we went to see a concert version that reunited the original cast for the 10th year anniversary of the original Broadway production, so this will be a nice throwback.
    – Planning our Spring Break Trip. I know it’s a while away, but I just had a bunch of travel books come off my holds list for our destination, so I’m starting to get excited about what we might do there.
    – Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. So I had been watching This Is Us while cleaning the kitchen. But it’s the last season and I’m not ready to be done that. (Okay, last year was the last season, but I seem to watch everything at least one year late.) So I’ve switched to watching old episodes of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. I loved this show growing up, and would watch it every week – well until my parents got rid of tv, but that’s another story. I’m realizing, though, that I only started watching it halfway through Season Two, so I’ve started watching it from the beginning. Is it sentimental and unabashedly wholesome, with life lessons every week and lives frequently in peril. Without a doubt this is not the kind of edgy, ironic, brutal television that gets made these days. People might roll their eyes at this kind of family friendly fare, but I do wish that there were more shows like this to watch as a family these days.
    -Lent. I’m not Catholic, but the Husband is and I look forward to Lent every year because then we get to eat more fish. I mean we could eat more fish any old time of the year, but we actually make an effort during Lent.

    What We Ate: I didn’t meal plan at all this week – it was a combination of the Husband cooking and us throwing dinner together from fridge and pantry. Worked out fine, but man… I find the day stressful when I don’t have a plan for dinner. Food takes up too much real eastate in my brain.

    Saturday: Pizza (the Husband made) and Newsies. It was my turn to pick the movie for Family movie night and I wanted to watch a musical. I had forgotten how good Newsies is. I love this movie so much! The music, the dancing newsboys. Square jawed Bill Pullman. Christian Bale. Christian Bale singing. (“Santa Feeeeeee! Are you there? Can you swear you won’t forget meeeee!”) My only quibble is the serious lack of female characters. I understand they tried to fix that with the musical theatre version they made. There is a caputre of the Broadway version available on Disney+ and I haven’t watched it yet because I’m torn between being really curious about it and thinking that the movie is perfect and not wanting another version.

    Sunday: Super Bowl Sunday – I made Cheesesteaks, and our friends brought ribs (though I made the BBQ sauce), and baked beans, and coleslaw. I also put out cut up veggies and we had an assortment of TastyKakes.

    Monday: Leftovers from Super Bowl Sunday plus some random things that we found in the fridge. Mixing the creamy pepper past with baked beans was a surprising hit with the kids.

    Tuesday: Grilled Tofu with tomatoes from the Green Barbeque book. The husband made dinner. (vegan, except then we supplemented with some leftover ribs. We’re learning that the Green Barbeque book recipe’s need to be doubled in order to feel our whole family…)

    Wednesday: The Pasta e Fagioli soup from last week. I had frozen the leftovers, and the Husband heated that up for the kids to eat for dinner. I should probably do freeze meals for future dinners more than I do right now. It’s such an easy dinner option. (vegan)

    Thursday: Roasted Cauliflower Coconut Curry Soup. I was inspired by this recipe from the New York Times this week and had a head of cauliflower to use up. The recipe was for a squash soup, but it featured the brilliant idea of roasting the squash directly in the dutch oven. So I chopped up a head of cauliflower, two apples, four cloves of garlic, two ribs of celery, and an onion – tossed them in olive oil, salt and pepper in the Dutch Oven, then roasted them on 400 for about an hour. Everything got nice and caramelly. Then I put it on the stove top, dumped in 4 cups vegetable broth, a can of coconut milk and a tablespoon of curry powder and a teaspoon of tumeric. and brought it all to a boil and simmered for 15 minutes. At this point, I left it and told the Husband to puree it when he got home and serve it with bread. It was really tasty. Vegan.

    Friday: Tortellini and red sauce. I think this is becoming our go-to meal for Friday Nights since we need something quick before basketball practice.
    Anyone else have go to fast dinners for when there is just no time?

    Weekly recap + what we ate: kind of a slog

    Birthday Boy.

    Last weekend’s highlight was the Chuck E. Cheese Party. So overwhelming, but lots of fun was had. I think if I had to do it again, I would skip the party package and just take a bunch of kids on our own. One of the main features of the party package is the Chuck E. Cheese show, featuring a highly energetic birthday video and a person in a Chuck E. Cheese costume – both of which I think the six year old found bewildering. The whole thing was rather loud and frenetic, on top of the already loud and frenetic video games. Also Chuck E Cheese is an explosion of choice – so many games to play, and then at the end when you redeem your “point” for “prizes”. Part of the party package gives the birthday kid an extra 2000 points, which greatly increases the prizes you can cash in for. Most kids only managed to win enough points to get a plastic ring and a dum dum. The six year old had so many more options – none of them life-changing, though I kind of wanted him to bring home the light up gyro wheel. I think he spent twenty minutes starting at the prizes and came home with one of those sticky spiders you throw at the wall and watch them slowly climb down. Standing with your child at the Chuck E. Cheese prize counter is an excellent exercise in restraining parental judgement. At least for me.

    This week following felt very full and kind of a slog. In that ordinary life is kind of a slog kind of way. The Husband was at an in town conference for two days. He still came home at night, but because of conference events he didn’t arrive home until after bedtime, so I felt on my own with the kids two nights in a row. Three if you count the night the Husband took the oldest to basketball practice and I had the two littles. Luckily they were the two days that there were no activities, so we could just be at home. I always feel bad complaining about how challenging I find solo parenting in the evenings because when I’m working, the Husband solo parents almost every night. He does six week stretches with lots of solo parenting evenings, so I should be able to handle two nights.

    I think the most exhausting thing about being solo alone with the kids is the kitchen clean up. We clean up as a family after dinner, but when the kids are being reluctant about it, it adds a whole other level of emotional energy to cajole and supervise them. Some days I think it would just be easier if I cleaned it myself after bedtime. At least then I could watch tv or listen to a podcast while I do it. But I do want the kids to take ownership in the upkeep of their home. I remember when I was in high school, after dinner my parents would go out for a walk and it was expected that my brother and I clean up after dinner. He and I had this system where one person did the dishes and the other person did everything else because the dishes were such an onerous chore. I know I need to recognize that my kids are a long way from high school, so I can’t expect them to clean up after dinner by themselves, but there is a part of my brain that thinks, “C’mon, kids! You’ve been here for years. Why aren’t you more independently helpful?”

    In addition, the two little haven’t been sleeping well. The six year old would wake up screaming. The baby would come to my room and tell me her big brother was screaming, then refuse to go back to bed. I think the Husband was in the baby’s bed at one point. There was bed musical chairs going on. Find an empty sleeping space and use that. One night the only thing that would calm the six year old down was sleeping in a chair in the living room while listening to his bedtime playlist, while I slept on the couch next to him. Every so often, he would wake up yelling that one song or another wasn’t supposed to be on the playlist and I’d have to get off the couch and delete it.

    (Sidenote annoyance – the free version of Amazon Music has changed its format so that you can’t just play your playlists anymore; they mix up the songs on your playlists and insert other things they (or rather their algorithm) think you might be interested in. The reasoning is they’ve made all their music library available so there is more music available, but fewer options for how to listen to it, I guess. I was fine with a limited music collection that I could play as I wanted. Luckily I haven’t updated the Amazon Music app on my iPad so I can still play the bedtime playlist in the right order, but I’m annoyed at the conspicuous money grab to try to get people to sign up for a more expensive service. I get that nothing is free, but man it’s annoying. I should just pay for a music streaming service, I guess. I wonder if I can write it off on my taxes then? Because often when I need to listen to a specific thing it’s for work.)

    Anyhow, I actually quite enjoy the bedtime playlist, so at least it was nice to listen to the tunes. The Current Bedtime Playlist:
    Put on Your Sunday Clothes (from Hello Dolly! the recent Broadway version)
    Octopus’s Garden by the Beatles
    Put on Your Sunday Clothes (from Hello Dolly! the movie version)
    Rocket Ship Run by Laurie Berkner
    More I Cannot Wish You (from Guys and Dolls, sung by Betty Buckley)
    Dear Theodosia from Hamilton
    We’re Going to be Friends by The White Stripes
    Waving Through the Window from Dear Evan Hanson
    A Million Dreams from The Greatest Showman
    For Forever from Dear Evan Hansen
    It’s Quiet Uptown from Hamilton

    This last song was the source of much consternation because it was “too sad.” (He’s not wrong.) So I was instructed to take it off the playlist. But then on the next pass through, there were tears when it didn’t play. So now Quiet Uptown is back on the bedtime playlist.

    Songs I had to remove from the playlist, having caused a crying fit in the post-midnight hours:
    At Last I see the Light from Tangled (why?!? I thought he loved that song!)
    Try to Remember from the Fantasticks (I like this song. I thought it fit in with the mix, but apparently not…)
    Simple Song from Leonard Bernstein’s Mass (this was was a stretch anyway… I love the piece and thought I could just slip it in. Nope)

    Okay, it wasn’t all a slog, though. I got to go running a few times, after taking the whole week before off because I was stuck at home with a sick kid. I baked more bread. I got some walks in. I started a new show. Twice I went out for lunch with friends and both times the food was amazing. One time was to a taco place, and they had these really good mushroom tacos. The second time was to a Chinese restaurant and I ordered off the dim sum menu and got turnip cakes and shrimp chang fen and sticky rice in bamboo leaves, salty spicy tofu and Chinese broccoli in oyster sauce. It was so delicious. I don’t always love going out to eat, but these two places were definitely worth it.

    One fun thing: On Friday, the six year old’s class was asked to dress up as what they wanted to be when they grew up. Six year old wanted to be a builder. I had a toy hammer for him, and we had a dress up construction hat. But come Friday morning, we couldn’t find the hat. This caused no small amount of consternation because it would have been the perfect accessory. And of course it was thirty minutes before we had to leave for school. So I asked him what else a builder would wear. And he says, “A Safety vest!” Sure. Let me just pull that out of thin air. But… I looked in his drawer and he had an old yellow t-shirt. So I got a pair of scissors and some electrical tape, and…

    Instant costume. I think my favorite part is the plaid flannel shirt. He was a little resistant to wearing the plaid flannel shirt, but I googled pictures of construction workers to show him that, yes indeed, plaid flannel shirts are what builders wear.

    Breakfast of the moment – Since the 11 year old got a waffle maker for Christmas – one of those gifts ostensibly for her, but really for the whole family – we will periodically have waffles for breakfast. I always make a double batch so we have waffles for breakfast the following week. They’re super easy to pop in the toaster over and reheat. My current favorite breakfast is a waffle with peanut butter, topped with banana slices and sprinkled with Everything Bagel Seasoning. Something about the combination of the sweetness of the banana along with the savory/salty bits of the sprinkle and the hardiness of peanut butter really hits the spot for breakfast. I love sweet/savory combinations. Plus it’s very portable and I can take it to work and eat it at my desk.

    Interesting link: This quiz to help determine how much of a morning or evening person you are. Based on your answers to the questions, The Automated Morning-Eveningness Questionnaire then calculates your optimal bedtime plus when your body starts winding down. I thought it was pretty neat to fill out – the questions were about your current sleep/wake habits plus when during the day you feel most active. (Plus you get your results right away – not like some sites where you have to give your email address so they can email you your results … and lot of subsequent spam.) Turns out I am a pretty middle of the road person in terms of when I am the most alert, and my recommended bedtime is 11:30pm with at 9pm winddown.

    Grateful for this week:
    – Longer hours of daylight. This week was the first time I really noticed that there have been more and more hours of daylight. The sun is up when we drive to 7:15am piano lessons and there was still enough sunlight after school that I could take the kids to the park after school.
    – My coworkers. I know I say this a lot, but I feel so grateful for the stage management team I work with. They are all so thoughtful and competent and they always make me laugh. I’ve worked places where the team dynamic isn’t great, bordering on toxic, and that is absolutely not the case at my current job. I don’t always love being the lead stage manager on a show, and having solid assistants makes it a much better experience.
    – Leftovers. I sometimes complain that no one else eats leftovers at our house, as if it is some burden to eat the leftovers. Truthfully, the eleven year old will eat them, and the two littles will sometimes eat them if I put it in front of them, but they are nobody’s first choice when making consumption decisions. This week, I’ve been packing leftovers for dinner and I was struck by how easy it is to have a fridge full of leftovers that I can just package up and toss into my lunch box.

    Looking Forward To:
    – I got news this week that my cousin is coming to visit in a few months. Hooray! I remember babysitting her when she was a toddler and now she has a real job and everything!
    -Getting my haircut this week! It’s been a year since my last haircut and I’m looking forward to having it short again. I usually get it cut before I start a job, but didn’t get around to it last fall.
    -Starting rehearsal. Before each show begins rehearsal, I have a week called “Prep week” to work on paperwork. It is always a nice low key way to get ready for the show to begin. The first day of prep, I’m always glad to be able to take a pre-dive into the show material. But then there’s always a point midweek when I’m tired of just thinking about the show and ready just to get into the rehearsal room with the singers and director and start putting the show up.
    – Supertitle gig coming up next week. The singer is someone whom I worked with when she was barely out of grad school; I’m excited to hear how she’s grown in the past five years. I need to get those translation slides done – I had a dream last night where I showed up to the recital without the titles done and it was quite embarrassing.

    What We Ate:

    Saturday: Pizza (the Husband made), and Robin Hood, the Disney animated version from 1973. I remember watching this when I was a child. Truthfully, I fell asleep half way through, but the part I was awake for I thought was lovely.

    Sunday: Quesadillas (for the kids) and leftovers (for the adults) and garlic green beans for everyone

    Monday: Red Pepper Pasta. Only made with orange peppers. More or less this recipe from Minimalist Baker, but I use half and half instead of soy milk so it wasn’t vegan.

    Tuesday: Sweet Potato Poblano Tacos from Dinner Illustrated. Vegan.

    Wednesday: Pasta e Fagioli Soup. Vegan.

    Thursday: Butter Chicken and cut up cucumbers. This is the internet famous InstantPot Butter Chicken recipe – it was the Husband’s request for his birthday dinner. I like the recipe because it makes extra sauce so we can have butter chicken again next week.

    Friday: Take out – Fried Chicken and BBQ from Fryers Roadside Chicken.

    Weekly Recap + what we ate: sick week

    Last weekend was pretty chill. There was a basketball game, then a park. We don’t often go to a park all five of us – the eleven year old has almost aged out of parks. But there was a park near basketball, so we all went. And took some silly pictures:

    Then we went grocery shopping as a family. Also a rare occurrence. It was our family adventure of the week, I guess. The grocery store we went to had shopping carts shaped like cars, which two kids could sit in at a time, so the two littles definitely felt like it was an adventure. (Funny story – when the oldest was a kid – before we had the middle child – one of the reasons she wanted a sibling was so that she could have another person sit with her in the shopping carts at Coscto. Well, the two kids are five years apart, and by the time the middle kid could sit up on his own in a shopping cart, they had maybe six months of tandem shopping cart sitting before the oldest got too big. Well, dreams can come true, just not forever, I guess.) We mysteriously seemed to have misplaced a bag with three cucumbers and a ball of mozzarella cheese. I hope that bag was left at the store and not moldering in some corner of the house somewhere.

    After the grocery store and lunch, I managed to get a run in, and the skies and clouds were beautiful.

    Sunday we had the usual skating and swim lessons, then the rest of the day was… nothing. Such a luxurious feeling! The Husband went to watch the afternoon football game at a friend’s house. I took a nap, and the kids played and read on their own. Around mid afternoon, feeling as if we had to do something, I pulled out a science kit from Christmas and we built a wind turbine – pretty much a windmill that lit up. But then realizing that we didn’t have the 2 litre soda bottle needed to anchor the turbine, we went out on a grey drizzly walk to CVS to purchase a soda in a 2 liter bottle.

    Well, the rest of the week felt kind of downhill from there. The six year old was sick for most of the week the followed, so that was kind of a bummer. He missed three days of school with a temperature and a bad cough, and I stayed home with him. All my grand plans of cleaning and organizing before I went back to work next week were dashed. The first day, he mostly slept, but the second and third day he was still running a bit of a temperature – so sick enough to stay home, but not so sick that he stayed in bed all day. He would come up to me whenever I tried to get into a project…

    “I’m bored.”

    “The house is too quiet.”

    “Can you play with me?”

    “Read me a book, please.”

    My time log for this week features a lot of entries that just say, “Putter.”

    I was a little grumpy to have my week taken up with hanging out with the sick kids, but then I tried to lean into having the alone time with the little guy. For all that I was annoyed not to have the week that I planned, I had to remind myself that the days when I can cuddle and coddle are limited so maybe cleaning out the guest room can wait. So we had some lovely mommy-son hanging out time.

    I taught him how to play Uno. And I didn’t let him win.

    We went to the library and borrowed a huge stack of books, including several Vox books. And we came home and sat on the couch and read books together. I particularly liked this one, Seaside Stroll. There is a note in the afterward that the author was inspired by ASL poetry in writing this book -and I can see that in how a lot of the words in the book are not about strict rhymes but about sentence structure and patterns.

    We had lots of hot cocoa. A friend of ours had moved to the Bay Area and for Christmas sent us eight pounds of Ghirardelli hot cocoa mix. It’s the kind that you can mix with water, so it’s easy to put the kettle on and stir up a cup. I add a splash of half and half to cool it down and for a bit of creaminess.

    And sometimes, we just sat on the couch, tucked the blankets around us and cuddled.

    And in between I managed to pay some bills, make some phone calls, read some books, and bake some bread.

    By Thursday, he was well enough to go back to school, and off he went, a little reluctantly, I admit.

    One of the things I’m so glad I did manage to do this week was make that sourdough bread. Hooray! My starter is still alive! I use this recipe, which is very simple and requires no kneading, and which I’ve had the most success with in creating a loaf that has some height. I’m so relieved that the starter is still alive – it’s over twenty years old, gifted to my by a singer I worked with, and I brought it back from Colorado the last summer I worked there. I would have been sad if I couldn’t keep it alive. We say we are cutting down on carbs in our house, but we are making an exception for the bread. The first loaf was gone by the next morning. So I made another one on Friday, and it is already almost gone.

    it’s a little seedy…

    Other things/ thoughts from this week:

    artifacts of past lives…

    The eleven year old using a dictionary. The other day, she asked me what “dilated” means. I told her to go find it in the dictionary. She said she tried, but couldn’t find it. Not the dictionary – we have two of those. She couldn’t find “dilated”. And then I realized that whereas you can just type “dilated” into google and get an answer, in a dictionary, you have to look under “dilate” and see variants. I’m realizing that I maybe took dictionary use for granted and that using one is something you have to figure out. Of course she can build things with minecraft that I have no idea how to, so…

    Speaking of teaching skills, I also introduced the eleven year old to the concept of a shoe horn last week. She has a maddening (to me) habit of stuffing her feet into her sneakers in a way that wrecks the back/ heels of the shoes. Sometimes she just ignores the backs of the shoes and steps them down, wearing her shoes like a slipper. So I decided that she needed to learn about the wonderful invention called the shoe horn.

    When i was growing up, we had a shoe horn hanging up in our coat closet and it was used all. the. time. Perhaps like Phantom of the Opera and Dictionaries, this is one of the wonders of my childhood that I felt my own child needed in her life. She was somewhat skeptical. But at least she now unlaces her shoes before stuffing her feet in them, if only to prove to me that she doesn’t need this odd old fashioned shoe horn thingy-ma-jig.

    Also – the shoe horn, alright I ordered a two pack – the two pack of shoe horns arrived in a humungous box. The box was at least 24″x18″ big. Filled with lots of packing pillows. And two shoe horns. Oh and a oil decanter. I had to laugh. At myself, really, who got so excited by this huge box arriving on our doorstep, wondering what large thing could be coming into our life. I mean a shoe horn is exciting, but definitely not what I expected in the box of that size.

    The shoe horns seem to be drowning in pack material.

    Walking errands. I’m toying with the idea of walking, running, or biking if I have errands less than two miles away. This week, I had to pick up the 11 year old from her after school math tutoring session. Since I had been home all day with the sick six year old, I decided to walk to the school, which is 1.2 miles away. I had the time, and it was a good excuse to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. A couple weeks ago, I had to walk my friend’s dog and I decided to run to her house because I hadn’t gotten my run in yet. Combining exercise with a task felt really fulfilling for some reason. It seems like such a no brainer to not take the car whenever I can, but for whatever reason, my first instinct is usually to get in the car. I’d like to work on shifting that mindset a little bit. Of course, often time is a limiting factor, but perhaps I can be more mindful on when time is a truly limiting factor or just one of minimal convenience.

    Fascinating read of the week. Do not read while eating. This rundown of ancient toilet paper alternatives had me riveted. I don’t think twice about toilet paper being the obvious choice for certain daily functions, yet reading about how past populations dealt with the bathroom tissue issue was eye opening. I guess, of course when “disposable” is not something you can take for granted, there has to be alternatives but I had never considered what the alternatives would be. And also… there are people who study this kind of thing.

    Deep thought of the week: In my quest for finding fun playlists for running – Why, do the Spotify playlists that are labelled “Throwback” feature no music that I recognize, while the playlists labelled “Retro” feature all the hits of my childhood? When did my “Throwback” become “Retro”?

    Along the note of music and nostalgia – after dinner one night this week, I sat and listened to Samuel Barber’s piece Knoxville: Summer of 1915. It’s a piece for orchestra and soprano and I always wanted to sing it, back when I studied voice, but I never really learned it. I had pulled the piece up because the eleven year old had read some Walt Whitman in class (which I’m impressed – I’ve never really understood Whitman.), namely his poem “I hear an army”. (note to self: There is something really lovely about hearing poetry read or recited – we should do that more. ) Barber had done a setting of that poem, so I cued it up to listen to, and from there (thank you YouTube auto-play) the next video that played was a performance of Knoxville: Summer of 1915.
    The text is taken from a prose poem of James Agee, writing in the voice of a child who contemplates the moments of a summer evening and the people in their life. The passage was eventually used in his novel A Death in the Family, and I think it perfectly captures that ephemeral sense of security one has as a child and how it can be recollected but not recaptured. It is one of my favorite pieces of music, yet I hadn’t thought of it for years. Rediscovering it this week has been such beautiful experience. I could listen to it endlessly. If you have fifteen minutes, you can find one of my favorite recordings here. I love the entire text, but this is one of my favorite passages:

    All my people are larger bodies than mine,
    With voices gentle and meaningless
    Like the voices of sleeping birds.
    One is an artist, he is living at home.
    One is a musician, she is living at home.
    One is my mother who is good to me.
    One is my father who is good to me.
    By some chance, here they are,
    All on this earth;
    And who shall ever tell the sorrow
    Of being on this earth, lying, on quilts,
    On the grass,
    In a summer evening,
    Among the sounds of the night.

    Grateful For This Week:
    – The Husband cleaning off my car after a little snow. We woke up one morning to a dusting of snow – the first of the season. Of course it had to be on a morning when the 11 year old has her 7:15am piano lessons. It’s hard enough to get out of the house in time for piano lessons, but to have to fit in cleaning off the car… I was certain we would be late. But the Husband offered to warm up my car and clean the snow off of it, and I didn’t say no.
    -My raincoat. Between the sick kid and the weather I didn’t get any running in this week. Knowing that I wasn’t going to prioritize running, I made an effort to walk (see above: Walking errands). Once the Husband got home from work, I walked to do school pick up, despite the drizzly weather. Luckily last year I bought a proper rain coat and it proved very useful, overriding any weather related excuse I might have to stay inside and sedentary.
    – Against the Odds podcast. Each season of this podcast tells the story of one event or situation that seems impossible to overcome. The first season was about the Thai soccer team that got trapped in a cave. We’re now on season two which tells the story of Aid worker Jessica Buchanan who is kidnapped in 2011 by Somali pirates. It’s really gripping storytelling – maybe a touch melodramatic. But I expect being kidnapped by Somali pirates is very dramatic.
    Anyhow, the 11 year old was not happy when I showed up on foot to pick her up from her after school tutoring this week. She was expecting to ride the car home, not a twenty minute walk in misty drizzle. I had read this post on Cup of Jo last week, that talks about shifting conversations. Instead of talking about having to do the undesirable task, what about saying, “Well you have to do it, so what can we do to make it feel better?” So I pulled out that phrase. Pause. Grumble. Mutter. Sigh. (That last was me.) “What if,” I asked, “I gave you one of my earbuds and we listened to a podcast on the way home?” And her face lit up. “Can we listen to Against the Odds?” she asked. So we walked home, each with one earbud, listening to this engrossing podcast. And I got some one on one time with her, which I don’t always get these days.
    -The eleven year old packing lunch for her siblings and including sweet notes for them. Afterwards she told me that she did it because I used to do it for her when she was in kindergarten. So many mixed feelings about this: 1) I don’t know how I feel about her doing parent like things because it’s not her job, and I don’t want her to feel pressure to be that figure for her sibling. (That song Surface Pressure from Encanto is all about her.) but 2) I love that she is thinking of her siblings and wants to give them something to cheer them up.

    Looking Forward To:
    – The six year old’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. I’ve never had one of those birthday package parties, so this will be a new experience. But I’ve been told that a lot of the kids are sooooo excited. (Three of the five kids coming ride the school bus with the 11 year old and they’ve been telling her that they can’t wait for the party.) [This has happened and it was every more sensory overload than I could have ever imagined. Still, lots of fun was had.]
    -Starting work on a new show. Getting to see familiar work colleagues.
    -Super Bowl Sunday. Apparently we are hosting. We (the Husband) likes to have food that corresponds to the teams that are playing. I think that means we’re having Cheesesteaks (Philadelphia) and Barbeque (Kansas City). It seems awfully meat heavy. Maybe I can get away with some carrot sticks thrown in there. Okay, I just googled and Tastykakes are from Philly. I can’t decide what I want to do with that information.

    One last note: Went to Bed, Bath and Beyond this week, and this was out:

    Now I suppose home decor is different from chocolate and candy, but still… it feels awfully early. And what, did we just skip St. Patrick’s day?!?!

    What We Ate:
    Saturday: Pizza and movie night. We watched Ratatouille – a lovely movie. It was the three year old’s turn to choose the move and she originally wanted Frozen, but her big sister convinced her to choose Ratatouille. Ratatouille is perhaps a little lacking in action and the three year old kept asking, “When will this movie be over?” Well she should learn to just stick to her guns.

    Sunday: Solo parenting so I made breakfast burritos for the kids and ate leftovers for myself.

    Monday: Mac n Cheese from Dinner Illustrated, with peas instead of chard.

    Tuesday: Grilled eggplant with pickled onions. Vegan. The Husband cooked from the cookbook The Green Barbeque, which features vegetarian recipes for the grill.

    Wednesday: Sheetpan nachos. Nachos covered with Monterey Jack and cheddar cheese, topped with pinto and black beans, corn, peppers, jalapenos (which were disappointingly not spicy), onions. Avocado and cilantro sprinkled on top after it came out of the oven. I also made some cashew queso to have on the side. Nachos are one of those super easy dinners that I rarely make because something in my mind doesn’t accept that it’s a complete meal. Yet, when you load them up, they really are a complete meal.

    Thursday: Baked Cod and Garlic Green Beans (The Husband cooked)

    Friday: Tofu Lettuce Wraps, this recipe. I used snow peas instead of water chestnuts. (Vegan). The three year old picked out all the mushrooms and snow peas from her tofu. And they were chopped in half inch piecesinterspersed in crumbled tofu. That’s a commitment. She claims that she doesn’t like mushrooms or vegetables, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her eat any, so I’m not sure what she is basing her claim on.

    Weekly Recap + What We Ate: Bye Week

    Lincoln with Washington in the background.

    It was a week off work, so I spent much of the week back in the swim of school carpool (and this week, missed buses and forgotten backpacks) and internet errands – paying bills, making purchases, etc. The weather has been so erratic. Cold, gloomy, and wet one day and then the next, clear and sunny. It’s that clear and sunny that I expect in the Spring. But it is, in fact January. Where is the snow and chill? I absolutely blame it on the fact that I bought a sled in October. And snowpants for the oldest. If I had not prepared for snow, I’m sure we would have been knee deep by now. Or maybe not, given the state of the environment. Alarmingly, I saw some hyacinths poking their blooms out in the front yard today.

    So last weekend was the one and only performance of our show. Actually two performances in one night – a 7pm and a 9pm. Everything went relatively smoothly. Some glitches as were to be expected when we didn’t really get to rehearse things a lot. But I did go in early to run scene shifts with the crew, and I was pleasantly surprised that the props crew asked to run the shifts an extra time. Often the crew doesn’t want to do it more than once when things are simple. But we hadn’t really had a chance to run things at the dress rehearsal – I had to pretty much coach them through it over the headset then. So the crew took it upon themselves to want to get it right, even if it was only for two performances.

    I was in my nice backstage clothes, so I didn’t run on my dinner break, but I did get a walk in and reveled in how beautiful DC looks in the evening.

    Plane over the Potomac.

    Sunday was Lunar New Year. We went to Taiwanese Breakfast in the morning. We always show up right when they open. My dad was with us and the waitstaff was really excited to see him for some reason. We usually order the same thing every time we go – sweet soy milk, savory soy milk, you tiao (fried dough sticks), soy bean and mustard green salad, egg pancakes, scallion pancakes, dumplings, and dan dan noodles. This time, we ordered some new to us dishes, and there was one pork noodle dish that might make it into our regular rotation.

    Clockwise from the bottom: My plate (with cucumber salad, seaweed salad, bean curd noodles), bowl of savory soy milk with you tiao, seaweed salad, bean curd salad, dan bing (egg pancake), cucumber salad, you taio, cold dish of mustard greens, bamboo shoots, and edamame, sweet soy milke.

    Other moments of the week:

    -Finding a Christmas Tree. The Husband likes having old Christmas trees for backyard projects, but usually the Christmas trees I see on the curb are too big for me to handle myself. So when I saw a little tree in front of a house near the school bus stop, I dragged it into the trunk of my car. I texted him this picture (along with a note that said, “Don’t say that I don’t love you.”)

    I pine fir yew.

    -Our second child turned six this week. What?!?

    He did actually have a present to open- no evening Taki run for him. The Husband had ordered him two Transformers for Christmas, but then in the deluge of holiday packages we couldn’t find one of them when we were wrapping presents, only to have the missing Transformer reappear after Christmas. Which was probably for the best because two Transformers at Christmas might have been too many to get properly played with.

    Anyhow, he has a Chuck E. Cheese party scheduled for later on, so he actual birthday was a small family affair. My father was in town and got him a bomber jacket from the Air and Space Museum, which looks super cool. I made his requested dinner – Ama’s chicken wings and Broccoli. Ama is the Taiwanese form of Grandmother – the wings are my mother’s recipe. And by recipe, this is literally what she sent me:

    Obviously my mother does not believe in measurements.

    I also made him a chocolate bundt cake, and then we couldn’t find the candles, so he ended up with a “3”, “1” “1” and a single candle on his cake. As long as the math works out, right?

    He’s Six. Not Three hundred and eleven. In case you were wondering.

    -Another fun thing this week is that we got to dog sit for our friends. We had this little guy at our house for the week:

    He’s a really sweet dog. Except if there are other dogs nearby. Also he’s a little stubborn and always wanted to go in a certain direction on our walks, but it was in the direction of the big busy street so I tried to avoid it. But he just wouldn’t move and proved very implacable for such a tiny dog. I had to pick him up and carry him several times on our walks. Who was walking whom here?

    But indoors, he is super affectionate, almost cat-like. I had many lovely moments relaxing with a book with the little guy curled up against me, a living heating pad.

    Outside a book, a dog is a man’s best friend…

    -It was also quite a social week. One night the Husband and I went out to dinner with a friend, and another night another friend came to our house for dinner. When I looked at the plans for this week. For the dinner out, we went into DC and had dinner at a tapas restaurant on Capitol Hill. It was funny being down there and seeing how much that area had changed in the past fifteen years since we left DC for the suburbs. One of the first things I noticed was that there was a Little Gym and a Mathnasium there now when it used to be mostly restaurants and bars. The Husband says, it’s a sure sign of permanent change when the new business coming in are geared towards kids. We don’t go into DC very often these days, but it always strikes me how different it is from when we lived there. Also nothing makes me feel my suburban mom-ness more than a swanky city restaurant.

    -I also got out my watercolours and made some art this week. One of my friends from college has a birthday coming up and I wanted to make her a birthday card. I’m super happy with how it turned out. I thought about just leaving it with the watercolour flower bursts (on left), but I went back and added the detail with the pen. I’m on the fence as to which I prefer – on the one hand I love how you can see all the nuances and shades or colour without the pen, but I also love how articulate the version with the pen detail is, and how it made the flowers really pop. Which version do you prefer?

    Read of the Week: This essay in The Cut about Monterey Park, where there was a(nother) mass shooting on Lunar New Year. Monterey Park is a predominantly Asisan suburb, a couple cities over from where I grew up, but it was very much part of the fabric of my teen years as the child of immigrant parents. My uncle’s medical practice is in Monterey Park, and is, in fact, only a few blocks from the shooting. This article beautifully articulates the importance of these immigrant enclaves. I have no words for the state of gun violence in America, just a lot of sadness for victims and, yes, for perpetrators.

    Podcast Listen of the Week: I listened to this episode of the Happiness Lab entitled “Stop Looking for the Perfect Job” while out on my walk one morning. It coincidentally came the day after I had a conversation with someone at work about next season. Long and short of it was, they said they were contemplating offering me a large show to stage manage, and I told them that I didn’t feel like I was at a place right now where I wanted to stage manage something of that size and potential complexity. I would be happy to assist on the show, but I didn’t want to be the one calling it. Afterwards, I got off the phone, I sort of wrestled with whether or not that was the right thing to have said. I don’t want to come across as being unwilling to accept challenging work or peg myself as someone who only wants to do easy shows. I actually love working on a big new production with a huge cast. But at the same time, I know that taking on something that I’m not 100% sure I can handle will certainly make me stressed out and miserable. And lord knows, if I want to be stressed out and miserable, I can certainly do it for more money that I’m making right now. I wouldn’t say I’m unambitious, and I know there is a saying to “Do what scares you” – even still, I think “what scares you” should also be “what excites you.” I think in a few years I’ll be happy to take on such a project as I was offered, but I want to climb that ladder slowly.

    Which is all to say – the above episode of The Happiness Lab came at a perfect time for me because I was seriously questioning the merits of being unambitious professionally. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about work ambition this past year, lots of feelings of jealousy when I see people with sky rocketing careers. This episode reminded me that work doesn’t have to be my defining aspiration. In the podcast they quote Esther Perel as saying, “Too many of us bring the best of ourselves to work, and bring the leftovers home.” I’ve definitely been guilty of this, and I want to mindfully avoid it as much as possible.

    Mysterious Question of the Week: Where do all the hair ties go? Both the girls have long hair. I also have ponytail length hair these days too. Usually I keep my hair short with a pixie or a bob, but I find myself less motivated to cut my hair when I’m not working. Anyhow… that makes three ponytail wearing people in the house. I feel as if I’m constantly buying hair ties. Where do they all go?!?!?! In the morning, the girls go off to school with hair in ponytails. When they come home, there may or may not still be a ponytail. But inevitably, the next morning when it’s ponytail time … I can’t find any hair ties. I feel like I’m buying hair ties at least once a month. Also … the three year old will only wear thick colourful hair ties, despite her having the thinnest wispiest baby hair. At this rate, I feel like I should just hit the Amazon Subscribe and Save for hair ties.

    Grateful For This Week:
    -That my dad was able to visit for two weeks. He went home this week and I’m always a little sad when he leaves. He tends to visit while I’m working so I never feel like I have enough time with him. Even though there is something about me that from time to time resorts to being a moody teenager when I’m with my parents, I am always grateful that they come and are active and involved and self-sufficient.
    -Good coaches. I’m really grateful for Coach Rob, who volunteers as the coach for the 11 year old’s rec basketball team. Every game, I see him really encouraging the players and making sure they have fun. I’m just really glad that there are people encouraging my kid to do well. On that note, received news this week that the summer swim team coach at our pool will not be returning. This news hit me harder than I thought it would. He had been such a positive coach last summer – encouraging the swimmers to be good swimmers and good teammates. I’m so super bummed that he won’t be back. Good coaches are hard to come by and I’m grateful for those who have the knowledge and the skill.
    -Running Lights. I had mentioned in my Christmas post that the Husband bought be a plethora of lights to clip to myself when running in the dark. I don’t really have any intention of running after sundown, but I love the gesture. (I did wear one of the wrist bands when running the hour before sundown, though.) Anyhow, sometimes if we have time between dinner and bedtime, and the 11 year old is at basketball, I’ll take the two little kids on an evening walk. This time of year, though, it is dark by then so we’ll go on a flashlight walk. This week, I had the brilliant idea to give each kid a running light for our walk, and they loved it! Even the dog got one. It make the walk much more fun.

    They light up my life!

    Looking Forward To:
    – Lunch plans mid-week with moms from my mom group.
    – Another bye week from work. I have grand plans to work on some house decluttering. I think I’m going to pick one area to work on each day: 1) the pile mountain of outgrown clothes in the guestroom, 2) my sewing corner in the guestroom, 3) the collection of random boxes in my bedroom, 4) the linen closet, 5) label the spice cabinet. Now that I’ve typed it out, it seems awfully ambitious.
    -Turning the calendar page to February. Whoa, the end of the month has really snuck up on me. But here we are, a few days from February. Another chance to plot and plan and think of how to bring my best self home.

    What We Ate:

    Saturday: I worked, and packed leftovers. The rest of the family had pizza and wings and it was someone’s movie night, but I’m not sure what they watched. Oh wait – they watched Avatar. The first one.

    Sunday: Lunar New Year. I made a rice cake stir fry and dumplings. The dumplings were bought frozen from our favorite dumpling place. The rice cake stir fry in black bean sauce recipe was from Vegetarian Chinese Soul Food. Rice cakes are a traditional New Year dish because the word for rice cake sounds like the words for “high year” so it’s auspicious. Truth to tell, I’m the only one in the family who likes rice cakes. But yay, more for me!

    Monday: Ama’s chicken wings, broccoli stir fried with garlic and chocolate bundt cake. For the birthday boy.

    Tuesday: Meatballs and pasta (in the InstantPot) for the kids and my dad while the Husband and I went out to dinner with a friend.

    Wednesday: Pav Baji – Meera’s Sodha’s recipe from Fresh India. I describe this as Indian Sloppy Joes. It’s eggplant, onions, potatoes and cauliflower cooked in a tomatoe gravy, eaten on a buttered roll. Vegan, for those that chose not to butter their rolls. (I used coconut oil to cook the veggies) I also made this really tasty cucumber and peanut salad on this side.

    Thursday: Cheesy Beans from The Weekday Vegetarian. My friend came over for dinner, and she brought a Greek Salad.

    Friday: Asparagus and parsnip frittata and roasted russet and sweet potatoes. Another very satisfying clean out the fridge meal.

    (Bi) Weekly recap + what we ate: Back to Work

    The view of the Potomac

    Last week, I started a short gig. Life has been a little work heavy. Work always feels all consuming when I’m in the thick of it, and I’m trying to work on that balance. This week I feel like I haven’t been showing up for the “life” parts of work/life balance. (I don’t love that phrase to begin with, though. Balance seems to indicate that there is a sense of equilibrium that is ideal and I’m not sure I believe in that. Maybe “balance” is just a sense of peace or resignation. Also “Work/Life” seems to indicated some kind of dichotomy, but work is part of life, not the opposite of it.) I’ve been pretty bad about getting home when I said I would. Something comes up, or I try to send that one last email, or attend to one detail. I know it’s hard on the rest of the family when “I’ll be home for dinner” becomes “I’ll be home for bedtime” becomes, “I’ll kiss them goodnight once I’m home.” so I want to get better at this. I’m trying to figure out if this is an issue with how I manage my work or if the issue is with the work itself.

    On my self-maintenance habits: I did manage to run five times in these past two weeks, did at least ten minutes of yoga every day, and journal every day, and do my Wordle and Duolingo, so that’s in the “check mark!” column. On the other hand, I did not go to bed at a decent time most nights, and I skipped a lot of meals and ate a lot of midnight snacks, so I have demerits in the “sleep” and “eat” columns. I think partly because the rehearsal schedule was a little different- one big rehearsal in the middle of the day rather than two shorter rehearsals with a meal break in the middle – so there wasn’t always a “typical” time to have lunch. I did bring lots of snacks, so it was just a matter of making sure I took time to grab a snack whenever we had a short rehearsal break. I think, though, in constantly snacking, I missed having a sit down lunch so my brain would think I was famished when I got home after rehearsal and I’d eat less mindfully than I would like. So maybe I need to work on more filling snack meals, or just remembering to eat when I can, not when I have to. Kind of like peeing. Or just to not snack when I get home.

    Good things:
    – The Husband had given me a National Parks Pass for Christmas so we went on a hike/walk to Great Falls on Saturday. It was a great day for a little walk, and the kids liked climbing on the boulders. Now that I have a park pass I’ll be sure to go more often. I also need to plan other National Park visits.

    Family shadows at the falls.

    -We took down Christmas. It always feels like a lot of work – we never remember which ornament goes in what box or how to Jenga all the boxes back in the storage bin. There must be an easier solution. Also now that the Christmas tree is down, I’m relishing how much space we have regained in the living room.

    -One Saturday night after dinner, we had impromptu family reading time. We’ve been borrowing Vox books at the library for the two little kids – these are books with a build in audio player so that the kids can work it themselves. They love them. And I don’t have to read Frog and Toad 192,853,782 times. The oldest didn’t read because she was practicing piano, but it made a nice accompaniment for the rest of us, ensconced in our chairs with our books. Until she complained that she couldn’t concentrate on practicing because the Vox book was too loud. So we rearranged ourselves and put the two littles with their Vox book on the other side of the room and all got back to reading and practicing. All told, family reading time was perhaps only 30-45 minutes, but it seemed so indulgent to all just be able to sit together in a room for that amount of time – no laundry to do, no carpool to drive, no homework to think about.

    Family Reading Time.

    -The Oldest kid turned eleven! Despite all the the trials of birthday celebrations I had written of in the last post, I think the now-eleven year old had a pretty good birthday. She got to choose her birthday cereal (she picked Frosted Flakes), and got to have her favorite dinner (The Husband’s kung pao chicken). Then on the next weekend we had some friends over for a sleepover and movie matinee. I was all concerned about what they would do at the sleepover, as I hadn’t planned anything, but we had the kids make individual pizzas and they played Apples to Apples and watched tv and drank soda and everyone seemed quite happy with that. The next morning I made three batches of waffles and we had some more friends come over, then the kids and dads went to see Puss in Boots. Initially at the beginning of the week, the only Sunday morning movie listed was Avatar and I was a little leery about having the kids watch a 3 hour PG 13 movie, but luckily when I checked on Thursday, Puss in Boots was playing, so I bought tickets for that. I think everyone had a great time.

    -The day of the sleepover, I had to work, but I also still had to do the grocery shop for the sleepover. So I put on my efficient speedy shopper hat and went to the grocery store at 8:45am, stopped at the Deli to pick up the requested rainbow cake for the party, and was home by 10am and had time to put away the groceries before getting to work in time for an 11am rehearsal. For someone who has to read every food label, grocery shopping can become quite a drawn out event. But that morning, I had such a sense of flow… It just felt like a huge accomplishment to have all the shopping done and groceries put away before 10:30am.

    Rainbow cake.

    – At our production meeting after our final dress rehearsal, the director of our show made a point to tell everyone what a good job she thought I was doing. It’s been a fast intense process and whereas typically I have at least one assistant, this time I didn’t have any assistants since the show was supposed to be pretty minimal. It wasn’t. It wasn’t a large show by any means, and it wasn’t terribly complex, but it was more involved than this kind of project has been in the past. On our tech day, I logged 13 000 steps/5.7 miles and 11 flights of stairs. This is actually surprising to me somewhat that it’s so high because typically as a stage manager, I’m tethered to my console so i don’t get as many steps in. So … 13 000 steps – not as high as an Assistant Stage Manager who constantly is running around backstage, but definitely higher than when I stage manage. Which is all to say, it was a lot of hats to wear for this one show and I was really touched that the director acknowledged that in front of everyone.

    -We ate the peaches! The weather has been remarkably mild, so the thought of eating the peaches that I had canned last August didn’t occur to me. I often think I need to save them for the depths of winter. But last week, we decided that January was a fine time to eat the peaches. They were lovely and redolent of summer. Just opening up the jar and inhaling brought back summer days and sunshine.

    Summer in a jar.

    – I have a co-worker, a conductor and pianist, who often comes into the rehearsal room in the morning to practice before rehearsal starts. Often I’m in there setting up and I like to listen to him practice. One time I made the offhand comment that I love how he plays Bach, so now he will always finish his session with a little bit of Bach if I’m in the room. What a wonderful privilege to be able to listen to him play as I bustle around in the quiet before a rehearsal, setting tables and chairs and refilling pencil cups. This is one of the joys of my job.

    Grateful For:
    – My work bestie, also good friend outside of work, who thinks of solutions that I can’t see, and who can do time math so effortlessly.
    -Actually, all the people I work with. They are all so smart and good at their jobs and they make me laugh and remind me that what we do is as beautiful and thoughtful as it is sometimes ridiculous.
    -The opportunity to work on such a cool set of short operas. I’d say “Buy tickets now!” but it’s already sold out.
    -Music. I’ve been trying to listen to more music and this week, I’ve been listening to Baroque music as I run and contradance music as I work. I’m by no means a classical music expert, despite studying music, but fast baroque music is one of my favorite things in life. I found a Spotify play list called “Baroque workout” – doesn’t it seem like there is a playlist for everything? I’ve been using it for my runs and it’s been a great motivator. As for the contradance music – the Husband and I used to be big contradancers. We haven’t been in years, and I would love to go again, but I don’t think contradancing in a mask would be very pleasant, so we’ll wait for a bit. I happened to stumble across a contrandance playlist last week and listening to it reminded me of when the Husband and I met, and going to dances and the the swirling colours of the dance hall, and the toe-tappingly catchy music that just dares you to sit still. The playlist made me really happy.
    -The Husband, as always, for holding down the fort. He is the reason I have clean clothes to wear and that the kids get dinner when I’m working. And even though I tell him to leave the kitchen for me to clean when I get home, it is almost always shining when I get home.

    Looking forward to:
    -Making bread. I had thought my sourdough starter was dead – I had been feeding it for almost two weeks with little result. This week, I gave it a little rye flour because I read that rye flour is extremely reactive. And lo and behold, the sad little starter has started to bubble again. I’m hoping that next week the starter will be in a place where I can make a loaf of bread.
    -The five year old’s birthday! He has a Chuck E. Cheese party in a few weeks, so next week will just be us low key celebrating as a family with the tradition of his birthday cereal of choice, dinner of choice (he chose Ama’s chicken wings), and a small cake. Maybe I’ll venture to get him a balloon. And this time make it to Party City before closing.

    Aspirations and weekend plans:
    – Well, opening night. Probably a little bit of work to do in the afternoon to get ready for the show. It’s been an intense fast process and my calling score is a mess. So I have to go back and fix those Post-Its.
    – morning basketball game for the 11 year old. Incidentally I kind of love this sign that hangs in the gym where the kids play basketball:

    Good reminders

    – skating lessons for the 5 year old.
    – It’s Lunar New Year! My father is here visiting for the kids’ birthdays and coincidentally Lunar New Year. I always feel unprepared for Lunar New Year and then I vow to do better the next year, but then I forget. Luckily my father is here so he came up with a plan. We will go to Taiwanese breakfast and have dumplings for dinner and he will give the kids red envelopes. (And I’ve just taken two seconds to put a reminder in my calendar for Lunar New Year next year – February 10th, 2024 – so I’ll plan something. I’d love to have a dumpling party.)
    – uncovering the bench in my bedroom that has become de facto clothes storage these past few weeks.
    – picking up around the house, get the kids to tidy the toy room. (When I mentioned this task to her today, the 3 year old today asked me, “What’s the difference between ‘tidy’ and ‘clean’?” I guess, in my mind clean involves purging, and tidying involves just putting things back. Or pushing them aside so I can see the floor of the room again.)
    -Outdoor time, probably a park or a nature ramble.

    Something Thoughtful I’ve consumed lately:
    A few weeks ago, in Emily Oster’s newsletter ParentData she wrote an essay “There’s No Secret Option C”, which I thought a really great way to frame decision making. Often when faced with a choice to make, I delay and dither, thinking that there is a perfect solution, just I haven’t thought of it yet, or this perfect solution just hasn’t presented itself to me yet. But, as Oster says, “There is no secret option C.” “In these complicated moments,” she writes, “we are often waiting for a secret third option. No matter how unlikely it is, how impossible, it’s hard not to imagine it.” But usually, there is no other option and delaying making a decision will only… delay things, often until you end up having not choice at all. (Which is another was to make a decision, but kind of a passive-aggressive way to go through life.) In a way it reminds me of what Oliver Burkeman says about recognizing the finite so that you do not getting bogged down by the infinite. It is not about the options to choose from, it is about choosing an option and moving forward with life knowing that the option isn’t perfect, but that you can deal with it.

    What We Ate – There was no meal planning these past two weeks. The Husband actually cooked dinner all week. I admit I am a bit of a control freak about dinner, so it felt like I was majorly dropping the ball to have him fully take over dinner. But he made a pretty awesome week of dinners. And as much grief as I give him for being a meat and potatoes man, there were a lot of vegetables involved.

    Saturday: Pizza and Catherine Called Birdy. We’ve been having pizza and movie night on Saturdays because of basketball practice. Catherine Called Birdy is based on the book by Karen Cushman, which I remember reading when I was a preteen. (Although I think I liked her Midwife’s Apprentice better.) The movie was a lot of fun, though I felt like it went in a different direction than the book.

    Sunday: Leftover friend rice. As in fried rice made from leftovers from the fridge.

    Monday: Cucumber salad and roasted poatotes. Funny story, the Husband likes recipes from the BBC Cooking website and this recipe was for Courgette salad. But the Husband bought cucumbers instead because he didn’t know what courgettes were. Which, I think actually ended up tasting better than squash would have.

    Tuesday: Taco Cups. I wish I could find and link all the recipes that the Husband used because there were all really good. This one was probably my favorite. It involved lining muffin cups with flour tortillas, filling them with black beans and cheese and then baking til the tortillas were crispy and the cheese melted. I came home from work and promptly devoured all three that were leftover. And easy to eat with one hand too. Bonus.

    Wednesday: Kung Pao Chicken and cake. This was the now-eleven year old’s birthday dinner request.

    Thursday: Eggplant and Halloumi stacks. This sounded complicated. Fried eggplant slices, layered with Halloumi cheese. I think there was a sauce. It was delicious, clearly since there were no leftovers by the time I got home.

    Friday: Sheet pan gnocchi. I actually cooked this one – Sheet pan gnocchi has become one of my favorite ways to use up veggies. In this case, carrots, mushrooms and broccoli, mixed with olive oil and pesto. And the meal comes together in about thirty minutes.

    Saturday: Pizza and sleepover night. And Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. This was our first Indiana Jones movie as a family. I’d forgotten how funny they were. Even the fight scenes – they all have this impish air about them. The five year old had this observation: “A good way to save someone is to shoot the driver of the truck.” I’d say that’s a pretty accurate takeaway. Also: “Indiana Jones knows lots of tricks!”
    All the Indiana Jones movies are now on Amazon Prime, so I feel like they will be in our near future.

    Sunday: Take out Chinese.

    Monday: Vegetable omlettes. Due to a spousal miscommunication in advance of the now-eleven year old’s sleepover, both the Husband and I bought two dozen eggs that morning. Which makes four dozen eggs, in addition to the dozen adn a half we already had at home. So now we have a lot of eggs to use up.

    Tuesday: Migas, – This was tasty even eaten cold straight out of the pan three hours later.

    Wednesday: Carrot Parsnip Soup. I actually prepped this one for the Husband. I did all the initial steps in the InstantPot and then set it to cook. When the Husband got home, he pureed the soup in the Vitamix and then served it.

    Thursday: Egg bake with potatoes and mushrooms. Also delicious cold eaten out of the pan four hours later. I was told, however, that the three year old carefully picked all the mushroom and onions out of this.

    Friday: Breakfast sandwiches eaten with grapes. Fast meal for a basketball practice day.

    (Bi)Weekly Recap + what we ate: The week after Christmas and into a New Year

    Well we are into 2023, so here’s a “coffee date” style recap/info dump of what life post Christmas has been like…

    Trains at Longwood Gardens.

    The day after Christmas, the Husband bundled us into the car at 6am and we headed on a little overnight getaway. Our first stop was Steamtown, a National Historic Site in Scranton, PA, dedicated to steam locomotives. I had first heard of this place last year when thinking of places where we could use the ten year old’s free National Parks Pass, though it turns out Steamtown is actually free to visit. (The ten year old’s Pass, given to all fourth graders in the country, went sadly underutilized; I have five years to figure out how to make the most of it when the five year old gets his free Parks Pass…). I had thought this historic site might be fun for the train-lovers in the family, but we never made it because Steamtown was in Scranton, PA, four hours away, which made it a little far for a day trip. When we were looking for a quick getaway for after Christmas, though, this seemed like a good option.

    Steamtown features a huge collection of steam locomotives. The museum portion of the park, where there were displays on train history and technology, was having some facility issues so it wasn’t open unfortunately, but there was still lots to see. The roundhouse housed many trains and there were park rangers available to answer questions. The ten year old had many many questions for the park rangers. In the outdoor portion of the Roundhouse, there was a locomotive that we could climb into and even ring it’s bell.

    Steamtown!
    Locomotives in the Roundhouse.

    After Steamtown we spent the night in Consohoken, where we visited the Edwards Freeman Nut Company – a shop with aisles and aisles of nuts, dried fruit and all the candy and chocolate one can imagine. There were wine gums (yay!), and four different types of black licorice, and dried peaches, and an impressive assortment of chocolate malt balls – dark, milk, mocha, mint… We came away with a lot of treats and snacks. Each kid was allowed to also pick some candy- the ten year old picked out a giant bag of Double Bubble and some Bazooka flavored soda, this latter which the kids all tasted and decided was not very good. But it’s good to try things. The five year old picked out a pack of Skittles – but it was Smoothie flavore Skittles, so quite a novelty. The three year old picked out a Kinder Joy and some Chocolate Pretzels.

    Then we had dinner at a local restaurant – chosen because the website offered, “Burgers! Tacos! Sushi!” Though they didn’t serve sushi on Mondays so we had really tasty burgers and Tacos instead. Then off to the hotel, which is always a high point for the kids. They are always super content just to sprawl in a hotel room and watch TV and go to the pool and eat those waffles from the hotel breakfast bar. The pool, unfortunately was not working, but we were all exhausted so sprawling and watching tv seemed like a pretty good option. Eventually everyone went to bed, except the three year old, who proceeded to try to interact with the sleeping people in the room, so I took her out for a little stroll around the hotel. We rode the elevator, checked out the lobby and walked up and down the hallways. At one point, she started singing, “I’m never going to be sleepy.” Over and over and over.

    She did eventually go to sleep and the next day, I got a run in while the Husband took care of getting the kids hotel breakfast. After I got back, we packed up the room and went to Longwood Gardens. The gardens still had their Christmas display up, and I enjoyed seeing all the festive decorations. The conservatory was an explosion of Poinsettias. My favorite thing, was a fascinating picture of a poinsettia in the wild. They are actually trees and grow to be eight feet tall, looking nothing at all like the plants we get at Christmas. Also – I didn’t realize this, but the red/pink/white parts of the poinsettia are actually the leaves. The flowers are the small yellow buds in the middle – which makes sense when I actually looked closely at a flower, but I had never really thought about it that way before. It’s always really fascinating to learn about something that seems so every day and familiar.

    This one was for the birds – there are bird seeds in the gourds.

    We also took in the train display and wandered all over the grounds. (Okay, side note re: trains – apparently trains are a huge deal in the Fire Departments around Baltimore and almost all of them have train displays. And there is a very nice person/group that collects all the places that have holiday train displays and posts them on a website which I must now bookmark for future use.) There is something beautiful and barren about gardens in the winter. Sure, the conventionally beautiful time of the year to see the garden is in the Spring and Summer, but I love how in winter when things are brown and sparse, I can really see the shape of things – the pointy and specific spikes of grass and tree and branches.

    Winter across the meadow.

    I know Longwood Gardens has a spectacular light exhibit, but we’ve never stayed late enough to see it. We’re usually on the road at 4pm so that we can be home in time for dinner. Every year, as we are leaving, we tell ourselves that we will make it out to see the lights one year. This year, the lights were starting to come on as we headed for the exit gate, and I dragged our family down one walk so that we could see some of the lights before we left and it was indeed very pretty.

    A gorgeous book end to our trip – when we left the house on Monday at 6am, the sky was dark, except for the single strip of sunrise. And on our way home at 5pm, I noticed that the sky again was gorgeous with a neon orange strip of sunset. I love the contrast:

    Morning departure
    Evening Return

    The rest of 2022was pretty low key, but surprisingly social. The baby went to daycare, but the two school kids were home, so I planned some playdates for the kids. One night we had the neighbors over for dinner, a pleasant evening which made me vow to invite people over for dinner more. We had chili for dinner – simple to make ahead and easy to customize.

    The Husband ended up having half a day off on Friday before New Years, so we went to lunch at our favorite dumpling house, then went to Lake Needwood for a walk and some playground time. The weather was pretty mild, but the lake had frozen earlier in the week and there were still pretty ice patterns to be seen. I had been to this trail before, but didn’t realize there was a playground with one of those zipline type structures on it. The kids had a great time. I even took a turn or two. The five year old, who initially balked at the idea of going to this park said, when it was time to go, “I didn’t have enough outdoor time!” Which is always something that I love to hear from my kids. So we went to the same park again two days later, this time I suggested it as a meet up location for my mom’s group, which had been trying to get together for a while. I had met these kids when the three year old was born and it was fun to see how our little squishy babies have all grown. Of course, with ten kids running around, I didn’t really get to chat at length with too many other parents, but I guess that’s what happy hour is for.

    In between, trips to Lake Needwood, was New Years Day. It was pretty quiet. new years eve we went to church then came home, had dinner and watched the ball drop in Times Square. Actually the Husband and the ten year old watched. The five year old, three year old and I fell asleep on the couch.

    … 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!

    New Years Day was nice and low key. We went to Taiwanese Breakfast, and had bowls of warm soy milk – savory for the grown ups, sweet for the kids – with fired dough sticks (you tiao), and dumplings and noodles and egg pancakes. Then we went to the park for a few hours, skipping lunch because we were so full from breakfast. After we got home, I decided that I needed to do one house project so cleaned out the fridge. I’m a little embarrassed by some of the things in the back of the fridge – there were three containers of sourdough starter, all sorts of pickles and more “mystery” containers than I care to admit. The trash was very full by the end of all this. I won’t pretend out fridge is absolutely uncluttered now, but I have started to be more mindful about where things are in the fridge. For example, all the pickles and fermentation experiments will go on the top right shelf. Leftovers on the left. So when I’m madly looking for leftovers to take for lunch, I’ll know where to look.

    In a fun bit of “use it up”ness, I found some garlic butter from one of the Husband’s pizza nights. There was also a container of butter and Worcestershire sauce mixed together, leftover from a failed Chex mix attempt. I combined the garlic butter and the Chex mix butter and made more Chex mix. It was a very successful batch of Chex Mix, and very satisfying to finish up the various butters and *not* put containers back into the fridge.

    We also had a very “use it up”ness dinner, which was so satisfying, and then we played Kings of Tokyo before bedtime. So it wasn’t a New Year’s day with grand plans, but there was a good mix of tasty food, family outdoor time, house project time, and family evening. Which was actually, upon reflection, a very good ordinary day.

    Then it was back to life. I have to admit, I was so glad when everyone went back to school on January 3rd. I love my kids, but having them gone also felt amazing. It took me a few days to get back into the swing of life on my own terms. The first day they were back at school, I wanted to go for a run, so I parked at a trail after doing the bus drop off. Then it started to rain. And I was so unused to having my time dictated by only myself, I didn’t know what to do. My brain was stuck in, “This is your time to run.” but it was raining out so I clearly couldn’t. (or I could, but I don’t really have the right rain gear to run in the rain right now.) I ended up sitting in my car for ninety minutes before I decided to go to the library and pick up some holds and wait for the rain to subside. The rain did subside and I left the library with some good books. And I did go for that run after all. But man, that first instance of blank, unscheduled time was… not well spent.

    Grateful for:
    – 2022. Another year in the books. I’m glad I got to see the end of it.
    -2023. Another year to live. I’m glad I have the chance.
    – The other mom, L, at the bus stop. I was late for school bus pick up twice this week. Twice. The bus has been arriving about thirty minutes earlier and I just mentally wasn’t prepared for it. You’d think I’d figure it out after the first time I was late, but I was late the next day too. There is nothing that combines mortification and fear for your child like being late for the school bus. L was there and texted to make sure I was on my way and sat with my kids until I arrived. So grateful for her.
    – Another mom at my bus stop, A. We’ve been chatting at the bus stop for a while now and before the winter break, I said, “One of these days, we should just walk down to the cafe and have coffee rather than just chatting here in the middle of the street.” Well last week, I had a package to return at Whole Foods, and I asked if she wanted to walk down with me, and she said yes, and it was a lovely morning.
    -YouTube. Yes, I find a lot of YouTube insidious, but last week, I was reading the book “The Oboe Goes Boom Boom Boom” to the kids. It’s a book all about children in a band. At the end of the book, the author’s note revealed that all the kids in the book was based on real musicians, most of which I hadn’t heard of. So I was able to pop on YouTube and pull up videos of these really obscure yet talented musicians, including Jazz trumpeter Valadia Snow, flautist (and Jethro Tull member) Ian Anderson, Oboe player and composer Ruth Widdy Gibbs, and so many more. I love picture books about music, and it’s always so much more tangible when we can hear it too.
    – The Husband for driving on all our road trips. I don’t like driving. I suspect the Husband doesn’t like me driving either. At the same time, I know that driving can be tedious and tiring, so I’m glad that he takes the wheel when we go places.

    Looking forward to:
    – Going back to work. It’s just a short gig, two weeks. I’m almost done the first week and it’s been nice to be back at work.
    – The ten year old’s birthday party. “Looking forward to” might be too strong a way to phrase it, but I’m certainly excited for her to have a party.
    -My father coming to visit. He’s here for the kids’ birthday.
    – Having time to sit and plan and think about the year. Maybe not this week or next week, but soon…

    What We Ate:
    Monday: Road Trip – we had dinner at Guppy’s Good Time. The tag line is Burgers, Tacos, Sushi. Unfortunately they don’t serve sushi on Mondays, but the tacos were tasty, as were the cauliflower bites.

    Tuesday: Indian Take Out, picked up on our way back home.

    Wednesday: Breakfast for Dinner. Waffles and Eggs.

    Thursday: Vegetarian Chili from The Weekday Vegetarians.

    Friday: Pizza take out and Hip Hop Nutcracker and The Bad Bunch.

    Saturday: Yaki Udon noodles with tofu. A recipe from Mark Bittman’s Dinner For Everyone. This cookbook is great because it gives you three variations on each recipe – one fast (under 30 mins), one vegan, and one super fancy (aka time consuming.) We did the “fast” version. Also – life lesson: everything looks better sprinkled with sesame seeds and green onions:

    The Husband always says when I’m unsure about a meal, I sprinkle it with sesame seeds and green onions. But I actually think this meal is pretty tasty.

    Sunday: Fridge leftovers – used up the lamb from Christmas – part of it I made into sandwiches, some of it I chopped up and threw into the leftover Indian food from Monday. It was so satisfying to use up little bits of food that way.

    Monday: Dumplings and green beans. Standard “We don’t want to cook” dinner.

    Tuesday: Lentil Soup, loosely based on a recipe from The Weekday Vegetarian. I didn’t have chard, but I used some leftover cabbage that I had in the fridge. I also made zatar flatbread to go with it – pizza dough, flattened and sprinkled with olive oil, garlic powder and za’tar and then baked – the taste to effort ratio is really high on that one.

    Wednesday: Brussel Sprout Fried Rice – Meera Sodha’s Nasi Goreng. (vegan) This is the dish that makes the family groan when I mention it’s for dinner, but then everyone devours. I also threw in the last bits of the cabbage and it felt really satisfying to use it all up.

    Thursday: Corn and Tomato Pasta from The Weekday Vegetarian. The recipe calls for fresh corn and tomatoes, none of which I had on hand, but I thought this was pretty tasty using frozen corn and canned tomatoes. I think the secret is that the recipe starts with caramelizing a whole red onion.

    Friday: Baked Teriyaki Tofu with Broccoli Mushroom Stirfry. (vegan)

    Weekly recap + what we ate: The week before Christmas

    Happy New Year. And just like that we are in a new year, another revolve around the sun. I feel like I am just now digging my self out of all the mounds of wrapping paper and packing material and dirty dishes and carbs that is the wake of Christmas. All evidence of our good fortune to have gifts to wrap and food to dirty dishes, so I can’t see it all as too much of a burden to reset.

    The week that was before Christmas was… very full. Perhaps a little too full in some areas. I was reading my journal entry from the week before Christmas last year, 2021, and this reflection struck me:
    “I feel like I’m doing that thing where I do a lot of last minute Christmas buying, and it’s a little out of control… There are an infinite number of things that are designed to be minorly useful but majorly appealing in the Christmas rush. I just need to resist. And think what would actually add value if given right now. Too many presents dull the worth of each thing. On paper, two or three toys doesn’t seem like a lot, but on Christmas Day, it is enough.”
    As I ventured out to stores last week, I kept thinking of those thoughts that 2021 me wrote. It seemed like there was a huge list of stocking stuffers, groceries, and last minute presents to procure. And at one point, I simply told myself, “Okay, I’m done.” The mental and financial wells were just tapped. So on Thursday I decided that I was not going to anymore stores – I don’t know by what industrial complex I was feeling pressured to keep going to stores, but I was ready to stop listening to it. There were still things on my shopping list, but I realized that list was so arbitrary. And the list didn’t make Christmas, or family memories, or times of peace and relaxation. So I migrated some of the things on that list to the birthday list – because they were fun ideas that I thought the kids might still enjoy – or I put them on the “everyday” list – because they were necessary things that I masqueraded as Christmas present, but which I should just buy for the kids anyway because they needed them – and I stayed home and made three batches of cookie dough. And went to the theatre with friends. And went to the movies with the family. And went to church. And savored the biting cold. And was grateful that I wasn’t trying to drive or fly anywhere.

    Fun and Festive things from the week:
    –Celebrating our anniversary. Our sitter had to cancel at the last minute because she wasn’t feeling well, and I was a little bummed. But the ten year old, made us a banner and cut out paper hearts and put them on the couch in front of the TV and told the Husband and I that we could have a movie date at home and she would take care of the two little kids. And she did. I had already made dinner, so she fed the kids and kept them entertained and brought the Husband and I dinner in the basement as well. It was the sweetest thing. The Husband and I watched See How They Run, an Agatha Christie inspired murder mystery set against a production of The Mousetrap. It was highly entertaining and funny and so very meta. Then after the movie, instead of turning on something else on to watch, we decided to turn off the tv and just read books while sitting on the couch together as the ten year old (tried to) put her siblings to bed. It was not the evening that we planned, but it was pretty nice. (And a lot cheaper than what we had planned.)

    She even made a banner! And actually it’s our 13th Anniversary.

    – Zoolights. We met up with some friends for the Zoo’s holiday light display. This was the first year that the Zoo has held Zoolights since the pandemic, and people had to sign up for tickets in advance, which made it a lot less crowded than it used to be. That certainly made navigating the zoo a lot easier than in the past. The lights were beautiful, and there were some new lantern animals. We were a little disappointed, though, that the animal houses weren’t open; in the past, some of the animal houses were open so we could see animals as well as lights. Oh well. Things change. It was a pretty late night. After we spent a few hours walking through the lights, we went to an Indian restaurant for dinner, and by the time we got done with dinner it was almost 10:00pm and we still had about a 45 minute metro ride home. I will say the kids were all real troopers with all the walking and the late dinner – they were a little restless at dinner, but didn’t complain. They were probably too tired to whine. On the way home, the baby sat on my lap for the train ride home. And fell asleep. Then while sleeping, peed on my lap. It was probably all that water she drank during dinner. Any thought I had that she might be ready to night time toilet train… well that answered that. When we got home around 10:30p, I carried her home – the Husband offered, but I figured only one of us needed to be pee soaked. But even with arriving home pee soaked, it had been a pretty wonderful evening.

    Zoolights!

    –Making Holiday Cards with the Kids. I wanted the kids to do something hands on for the teacher cards, so I used painter’s tape to create some images on cards and had the kids paint over it. Once the cards were dry, we peeled off the painter’s tape and voila! Some of the cards turned out a little runny because the baby spilled an entire container of water all over the cards, but I think it gave the cards and nice blurred quality. I always like this technique because it’s pretty simple to execute, but I think highly effective visually. The kids even made some of their own designs too.

    paint drying
    finished product

    – Seeing a musical. I went to see a production of Beauty and The Beast with my friend and her kids. Originally the ten year old was supposed to come, but she wasn’t feeling well, so I took the five year old and the three year old instead. The three year old did pretty well, although she got upset when Belle and her father was separated and spent the rest of the show cuddling on my lap. Afterwards she said, “I like the show, but I don’t want to go back there again.” Not sure how to interpret that. I had a good time, though. I did feel like the show itself is a touch too long – it’s pretty much the Disney movie with four or five additional songs, and it seemed like it took a long time for Belle and the Beast to meet and start their journey. Despite that, the production felt really special because of the casting of the leads; Belle was played by a self described “queer curvy” Black actor, and the Beast was played by an actor who had only one leg. (There’s a story in People Magazine about the production.) And at first, I though they were going to take a “blind” approach to the casting, where we weren’t supposed to notice that one actor had a peg leg or one actor was a different body type than what you would usually see onstage, but then I noticed they changed some of the words (replaced “fair” with “fine”, took out places where the word “fat” was used), and then there was a moment (spoiler here… ) at the end, when Gaston and the Beast are fighting when Gaston grabbed the Beasts artificial leg and it was just stunning. You could see that this production wasn’t pretending that the two people playing the lead were stereotypical fairy tale storybook leads – their idea of “Beauty” was based on more than superficial appearances. It was a really bold statement to make onstage.

    –Celebrating Hannukah with friends – The friends we went to the theatre with were Jewish and they invited us back to their house for dinner and to light Hannukah candles after the show. It was a lovely evening with friends, especially since our kids are all of the age where they can just play with each other and the adults can talk and have a beer and not constantly worry about what the kids were doing. And to top it all off, my friends even gave me an early birthday present – a camping chair! They are avid campers and every time I go camping, I have always borrowed a chair from them, and now I have my own. I’m so delighted that my friend and I can now sit in matching camp chairs by the camp fire.

    “On this night, let us light…”

    –Seeing It’s A Wonderful Life in the movie theatre. There is movie theatre near us that was showing classic Christmas movies and on Christmas Eve, they had a matinee of It’s A Wonderful Life, so we got tickets and went to see it. We always watch It’s a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve, and I thought this might be an extra special way to watch it. We took the bus to the movie theatre – discovering a new to us bus route that is a block closer to our house than the bus route we would have usually taken to the theatre – that felt pretty awesome, to discover a new bus route. And we got popcorn and soda – though I accidentally dropped my popcorn on the floor as I was leaving the concession stand, and I almost had a meltdown over that tiny thing, but the theatre gave me another bag to make up for it.
    A nice touch was that the film was introduced by Jeremy Arnold, a film historian, who talked about the history of the movie. He pointed out how there is a film noir tone to the movie and how Frank Capra’s movie encompasses so many film styles, which I had never thought about before, but it did made me appreciate the craft of the film a little more. Also – fun tidbit, the film won a technical Oscar for an innovative way of creating snowfall. There sure is a lot of snowfall in the movie! The kids seemed to have a good time, though the three year old eventually ended up in my lap again. And fell asleep. And then peed in my lap. Perhaps having her split a large soda with me and her brother wasn’t such a great idea. So yes, twice in one week, a sleeping child peed in my lap.
    It was pretty bitterly cold when we left the movie, and I hadn’t brought a change of clothes for the baby, so I gave her my puffer vest to wear in hopes that she wouldn’t be too cold in her pee soaked pants. We popped into the mall in hopes of buying her some pants, but then the husband saw that the next bus home was arriving in two minutes, so we decided just to get on the bus. At which point I discovered that I had left my phone at the movie theatre. The Husband and kids got on the bus and I went back to try to find my phone, which at first no one had seen and I was starting to panic, but then the lady at the ticked desk asked around and someone did end up having it. All in all, it was a lot of excitement for one afternoon.

    –Our Christmas Eve Tradition. The Husband’s family had a tradition of reading The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve. (I guess technically it’s A Visit from St. Nicholas, but no one calls it that, do they?) My late mother-in-law had about a dozen copies of the poem in picture book form and when she passed, we brought them all into our home. Our Christmas Eve tradition is after church, we have dinner, then the kids get Christmas pjs, and we read The Night Before Christmas, each person picking out one copy to read from. We go around taking turns reading and we show each other the pictures in our books and compare how each artist interpreted the poem. This year, I bought a new version to add to our collection – I had come across Loren Long’s version while picking up some stocking stuffers at Barnes and Noble and I loved how he rotates the story through several different households. I thought it felt like a really fresh take on the poem.

    Not all houses have fireplaces…

    And then we were at Christmas, which I’ll save for another post…

    Grateful for:
    – The ten year old’s faith in Santa. I don’t know if she still truly believes in Santa. But she believes in the magic of him – she helps her younger siblings write letters to Santa and tells them about him. She puts out cookies and milk on Christmas Eve, and even writes him a letter, expecting a reply. It’s pretty magical.
    -The Husband being safe. One day last week, it was raining and the weather was awful, and he got into a car accident. It was pretty ugly, but I’m really glad that he wasn’t hurt.
    -The local Botanical Gardens. I was feeling really overwhelmed one day, and I decided to go to the Botanical Gardens to sit and it was the pause I needed that day.
    -Connecting with friends.

    One last thing… I was pretty flabbergasted by this display which I saw in the grocery store as I was on the hunt for candy canes. (Which, incidentally, I had a really difficult time finding. I finally found one box of small candy canes tucked way in the back of a shelf at Target.).

    I couldn’t find candy canes during the week before Christmas, but I could stock up for Valentine’s Day. Wow.

    What We Ate:
    Saturday: I went out to dinner with my friend – there was a band playing at the local Irish pub, and she knew one of the musicians so we went to listen.

    Sunday: Can’t remember…

    Monday: Turkey meatballs with pasta and red sauce.

    Tuesday: Stir fried vegetables with noodles, and stir fried cabbage from Vegetarian Chinese Soul Food by Hsiao-Ching Chou. I borrowed this cookbook from the library in an attempt to cook more vegetarian food and I love how simple and flavorful the recipes are.

    Wednesday: Indian food after Zoo Lights

    Thursday: Vegetarian Chili from The Weekday Vegetarian. This chili’s secret ingredient was dark chocolate – which gave it a smoky mole flavor. I would put a little less chocolate in it next time – the chocolate flavor was a little pronounced.

    Friday: Peruvian Chicken and Pizza Take Out

    Saturday: Frozen tortellini and red sauce.

    Sunday: Christmas Dinner – roast lamb leg (used this recipe), butternut squash salad (from America’s Test Kitchen. no one really ate this; it was a little undercooked), Scalloped potatoes, Jello ribbon salad (from my Mother In Law’s recipe), Filipino sweet rolls (this recipe from Saveur), broccoli (simply seared in pan with salt and pepper), and sticky toffee pudding for dessert.