Category: Goals and Aspirations

Weekly recap + What we ate: 2026 Gentle Aspirations

Well it’s been an odd odd week. The sleep hasn’t gotten any better. At this point I don’t think it’s jetlag. I think it’s just revenge bedtime procrastination and the revenge is super working. Work has been in kind of a holding pattern, which has made me incredibly restless. I keep checking my phone for news. One day this week, I logged 12 hours on my phone. TWELVE. There were a couple nights when I couldn’t summon the will to go to bed, only finally turning in when my phone and table both ran out of battery. This is not good. And on top of that, the events foreign and domestic continue to be shit – I’m sure that doom scrolling was part of the 12 hours of battery draining screen time.

In and amidst all that, I made a list. A list of goals and aspirations for 2026. I’ve been brainstorming the list for a while, and last week I spent some time living with that list and seeing if it felt true to what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be.

As I was looking at the list, however, I felt that some of my goals were focused on the wrong thing. I think some goals and aspirations are focused on an end goal, but many are really about the process or the inherent pleasure of doing the thing. A few years ago, I read “Midlife: A Philosophical Guide” and he talks about how activities can be telic or atelic. Telic are activities with and end point; atelic activities are activities without an end point. This idea has stuck with me a lot. One of my biggest takeaways from that book is that as we enter the latter part of one’s life = and, let’s be honest, once you’re past your mid 40s, there are likely fewer years ahead of you than behind – we might not see the end point of everything we do, so perhaps there is value in focussing on atelic activities rather than telic ones.

So for example, one of the goals I had originally written was “Read 70 books.” Yet when I really thought about this goal, I realized that I didn’t want to read more books; I wanted to spend more time reading. If I just wanted to read more books, I could read shorter books; I could just read books that were easy and fluffy (which I do love); I could skim more books. But looking at my goal, I realized those things aren’t how I want to read. I want to read books that make me feel and make me think. I want to read books that are immersive and that spin a longer tale. I want to read books that tell good stories, fiction or non-fiction. I want to read books to learn. I want to read prose that sings, that I can savor. And these things, don’t mean more books. It means more time. I will never read all the books I want; I will probably die with a very lengthy TBR. But hopefully I will die having been enriched by the books that I do get to read.

Which is all to say, i think I’ve been going about some of my goals the wrong way. It’s not about what I want to accomplish, but about how I want to spend my time. I don’t want to do yoga every day so that I can check boxes off to have a streak – I want to do yoga every day because it feels good to move and stretch my body. I think sometimes when I make goals that are focused on hitting a number goal, I forget why I get enjoyment or growth or benefit from putting the thing on the list in the first place. In past years, I would say I want to do X Y number of times and then I would feel very disappointed not to get there. This year I want to flip the script – putting a number on certain goals is motivation to do it regularly, a reminder that these are things that fill my cup. It’s not about how many times I ultimately do the thing, but that I make time to do it.

So anyhow, here is my list of 2026 goals gentle aspirations. There are also things that I haven’t’ written out – mostly adulting things – not because they aren’t on my list, but rather because I feel like they are things that I do anyway, so they might not need special focus attention. Or they are things I don’t quite know how to articulate into a “goal”. Top on that list is that I would like to stop nagging the kids to do their chores. But, again, that is just the wearisome minutiae of day to day. And I think I wanted to focus on additive things and I don’t quite know what to add to my life in order for me not to lose my shit when my kids won’t pick up after dinner.

Anyhow, on to the list:

Physical Health:
–Take the stairs. Trying to incorporate more movement into my life, and this seems like a no brainer. I was talking to my cousins over the holidays and they said that being able to climb stairs is one of the first things that gets difficult as we age, but also that it’s really good exercise. So I’m going to take the stairs whenever possible.
– Daily yoga, with at least one 20+ minute session per week.
–Strength workout 2x a week. I know this is paltry, but I want to start somewhere, given that I’m past my mid 40s. I only have 5lb weights at home and want to get 7 or 10 lb weights to help with this goal.
–5 vegan dinners a month. This is a health aspiration, but also a creative one because I like the challenge and creativity of cooking vegan recipes that are new to us and which the family likes. (The 6 year old, always asks, “Is there chicken in this?” when I make dinner.)
–Set an alarm for bedtime and come up with a wind down routine. Sleep continues to be probably my worst personal health habit. But sleep feels so amazing. So I need to get myself there sooner.
–Find a PCP. This is probably second more egregious health deficit that I have. my gynecologist usually does my bloodwork and preventative tests, but I think I do need a proper PCP.

Family
–Date Night/ Activity with the Husband – Now that the kids can stay home on their own, I’m hoping the Husband and I will have more one on one time that isn’t at home in front of the TV. I think we do better when we have an activity to do together rather than just dinner, so I’m looking into some classes in the area.
–Go camping with the kids (and the Husband) – I would like to do a four night camping trip. I usually do three nights and I don’t feel like that is quite long enough to disconnect and reconnect.
–Road Trip. 2025 had a lot of international travel for us, so I think 2026 might be more in the realm of a family road trip.
–Go to the Philadelphia Flower Show. This is a big dream of the Husband’s and I would love to make it happen.
–Christmas at Home – after spending the past two Christmases in Taiwan, everyone has agreed that this Christmas will be at home.
–Weekly phone calls/photos to my parents – I’ve never gotten into the habit of calling my parents regularly. When we talk things tend to very often be about logistics – planning for trips, details with their rental, etc. However, on our trip to Taiwan, visiting my 100 year old grandfather, I realized that I want to know my parents better; I want my kids to know them better; I want them to know me better. This is somewhat hard for a variety of reasons that I probably need to unpack. But my family has been so supportive and I want to model good family relations for my kids as well.
–Family Game Nights, Family Reading Nights – mostly find ways to break out of the evening tv rut.
–Take more photos with the people I love and who love me. I realized when I was making a slide for my grandmother’s memorial service that I had only three pictures of her, and one of them was super blurry. While in Taiwan over the holidays, I tried to make sure to take photos with my grandfather and have my kids take photos with him – I think even when you can’t remember someone from your past, a photo can help you remember that you were loved.
–Set an alarm when I’m working to call the Husband to check in on my dinner breaks.

Social:
–Monthly Happy Hour with my Friends L and D.
–Monthly meet up with my friend K (who was my freshman year roommate!)
–Host one fun dinner party/gathering per quarter – Ideas for this- another soup party. Dumpling Party. Cookie Party. Invite another family for game night. Mom’s group reunion.

Work:
–Work ahead when putting calls and cues in my book. Put places calls in my score as we stage, so they are there before we move to stage.
–Come up with a timeline when I’m working on supertitles. And stick to it. I don’t like how last minute I am with my super title projects.
–Find more places to post when we are looking for interns. The past couple years we haven’t gotten a lot of people applying for our intern position. We’ve always filled the position with strong candidates, but I’d love to make more people aware of our internship because I think it’s a great program.
–Don’t Freak Out. Not really bloggable, but you might know about this if you’ve been following the arts news in DC. There is a lot of change happening for me at work. I’m going to try to keep focused and not freak out.

Home/Finance:
–Submit tax information to our tax person before March 31st.
–Track my spending. I’ve never done this, but I do want to get a handle on where our money is going. Maybe I’ll just start with one week.
-Monthly Financial meetings with the Husband.
–Declutter and come up with better organizational systems: Specifically the area under our console in the bedroom. My desk. The bathroom closet. My craft corner. The toy room and make it into a more usable guest room.

Self/Hobbies/ Mental Health:
–Less scrolling, more of the things below….
–Paint 26 pictures. I realized that 26 (as in 2026) is half of 52 (as in weeks in a year), so I thought a fun project to tie in to the year is to paint 26 pictures this year.
–Spend more time reading. I want to do this Classic Literature Challenge from the blog Tea and Ink Society.
– Write 52 haikus. This goal is about stopping to take time to notice things around me.
–Do the crossword puzzle every week. This is a goal to help me reduce my time scrolling. Also I like crossword puzzles.
– Write 64 Blog Posts. That’s one a week + 1 additional post a month. I think what I want this goal to be about is to be more disciplined in my writing. I would like to come up with a more regular posting schedule.
–Spend more time playing piano. learn some songs to sing with the family.
–Find time/routine for journaling.
–Go on 12 hikes. Take the kids and Husband with me on some.
–Visit ten museum, even if I have to pay.
–See 2 straight plays.
–Find a cooking project, TBD. Maybe bao again? Maybe croissants. I’ve done that once. Maybe revive my sourdough starter? Or some kind of stew?

Just for fun, here are three things that were on my list that I cut after contemplating what telic vs. atelic goals:
-Run 3 miles once a month. Okay, let’s be honest – I don’t love running. And now it is really cold outside. This is exactly the kind of achievement based goal that I realized didn’t serve me.
-Knit a hat – again, a telic goal that I feel like would just be a fail. I do have an enormous yarn stash that sits in my room (under that aforementioned area under the console table) and maybe a knitting project could be part of that decluttering. But putting a whole hat on my list seemed like an awful lot of pressure.
-Only pack meat for lunch if it is leftovers. This goes hand in hand with my desire to eat more plant based meals, but I realized mornings when I pack my lunch are really stressful times and this might just add to that stress.

Will I do everything on my list? I hope I can have regular progress at least. I read an interesting quote lately in the context of these yearly lists of goals – forgive me, I can’t remember where I read it, I think on some Substack:

“Failure is data.”

I think that’s a good way to look at when I don’t check off things from my 2026 list. Not doing something isn’t a sign of a weakness inherent in me; failure to is not objectively negative. It’s an opportunity to assess and see why things didn’t work, or if it even is something I want. If I don’t fail, I don’t have the information to move forward.

Grateful for:
-Fleece lined pants. The temperature has really dropped this week and will continue to do so. I had a conversation with a friend that went like this:
Me: What’s up with this weather. It’s so cold!
Friend: I think that’s called January.
Me: —
Which it’s true. It is January. I don’t know why I’m surprised that the weather is in the 30s. Anyhow, fleece lined pants for the win.

-Warm sunshine. Even in the bitter cold, the sun’s rays are still warm.

-That even though I messed up and booked my thyroid ultrasound for the wrong office, the people at the office I wanted to go to (because it’s five minutes from my house) managed to find a slot and get me in later in the day.

-My friend K. She came over for dinner and gave me a belated birthday card in which she had written the best message. We were college roommates and I love that we are still in each other’s lives, without judgement and without drama.

-My friend C – we had a lengthy coffee date of Saturday. I hadn’t seen her in a while and it was good to be able to be vulnerable for 90 minutes while sipping our hot drinks.

-That the 8 year old practiced piano. He does not like practicing piano. I bribe him with Switch time and he does it. I’m always glad when he does manage to practice because then I don’t feel like I’m throwing my money away on piano lessons.

-Free printing at the library. Our public libraries now have free black and white printing – up to 15 pages a day. We had to print some music for the 14 year old this week and it was so easy just to upload it online and then go to the library, swipe my library card and have the music printed. All for free. Well I guess my tax dollars and the cost of gas to get to the library.

-That the Chicago Bears had such a good season. Last night’s game was nail-biting and heart-wrenching. I don’t care much about football, but I do care about the Bears because the Husband cares about the Bears. The Bears had some magical moments during the game, despite ultimately losing. I know the Husband is disappointed that the Bears aren’t advancing, but this is the first season since I’ve known him that he has been truly hopeful for the next season. Being a fan is such emotional work.

Looking Forward to:
-MLK Day off with the family. We are going to go downtown to see a museum. Maybe in future years we can have a more service-oriented MLK Day.

-The 14 year old’s furniture arriving for her bedroom – bed, nightstand, and dresser. She can stop sleeping on a futon mattress. She can stop just shoving her clothes in the closet. And instead shove them under her bed.

-Walk with a friend next week.

-The 14 year old’s middle school basketball game. The first one is this coming week; the Husband will go to that. We can’t both go to the games because they happen at the same time as the bus drop off for the two elementary school kids. I’ll go to the home games. Last year I only went to one game and I want to go to more this year.

-Broadway Week! Last year the kids had a day off on a Wednesday in January, so we went to New York to see Hadestown. Well this year, we don’t have a mid week day off, but it is once again Broadway Week where tickets to select shows are 2 for 1, so as a birthday present for the 14 year old, I am pulling her from school and we are going to see Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Through New York). It wasn’t a show that was on my radar, but she loves the cast album for this show. I’m really excited! And train tickets for a Wednesday morning were less than $100 round trip. Something to look forward to in two weeks.

What We Ate:
Monday – Za’atar Roasted Tofu With Chickpeas, Tomatoes and Lemony Tahini from NY Times Cooking. I feel like this was very similar to the Masala Tofu and chickpea dinner I made last week, just with different seasonings, and made in the oven so it wasn’t as messy. Vegan.

Tuesday: Honey Adobo Chicken from NY Times Cooking. Taco Tuesday. This was actually kind of disastrous evening – one child made a really wise ass comment that was the last straw after a whole day of wise ass comments. I lost my shit and went into my room and proceeded to sulk and then fell asleep for three hours. When I woke up at 9:30pm, the 14 year old had fed the two little kids, cleaned the kitchen together, and put them to bed. I don’t deserve such a great kid.

Wednesday: Vegetable Soup and No-Knead Bread. A clean out the produce drawer affair. Vegan.

Thursday: Pork chops, steamed green beans and Greek Salad with Cannelilni Beans. Apple Pie. It was my late Father in law’s birthday so we had pork chops as we always do on his birthday. My friend K came over, but she is a vegetarian, so I added the Greek salad. She brought the apple pie. It was delicious.

Friday: Pizza (Take out) and movie night: Pride. It was my turn to choose the movie and I picked this 2014 movie based on the true story of a group of gay activists who, during the 1984 Miner’s strike in England, form Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM), raising money and awareness to help the miner’s. It is a predictably heart-warming movie – one of those earnest and funny British films full of wonderful performances (Andrew Scott, Imelda Staunton, Bill Nighy, and more), with an uplifting message of perseverance and connection. I loved it.

Saturday: We checked out a Taiwanese restaurant that I had just heard about. We had beef noodle soup, fried calamari, fried tofu, braised beef over rice, popcorn chicken, and tomato chicken over rice. It was quite a feast and did very much remind me of Taiwan. Afterwards we all got boba (tea for me and the 14 year old, brown sugar milk for the two little kids), and the Husband got a red bean smoothie, one of his favorite things he had in Taiwan, but which I’ve never seen before on a menu here in the States.

Sunday: Leftover (me), Sausage sandwich (the 14 year old), Tortellini with red sauce and Caesar Salad (the rest of the family.)

Did you make a list of goals/aspirations/intentions for 2026? Anything you took off your list? What service does your library provide that you think is wonderful? (Other than the obvious, books) For any of you directly coping with any of the awful things happening in our country, I’m thinking of you.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Four random things I’m bursting to share

Four random things that popped into my head/ into my life last week that I thought I’d share:

1) We have discovered that the first nine tracks of KPop Demon Hunters lasts just short of 30 minutes. The first nine tracks is where all the hit songs are. The tenth track is the Korean ballad Love, Maybe, which I like because it reminds me of the Taiwanese songs that my parents listen to, but which the kids declare is “boring”. But the real point of this is that 30 mins about the amount of time it takes to clean up the kitchen in the evening. So I make a deal with the kids: We only have to clean the kitchen for the duration of the songs on the KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack. When we get to Love, Maybe we can stop cleaning. If they stop cleaning before we get to Love, Maybe, I turn the music off. It’s been working remarkably well, and I love the synchronicity of it all. You know that feeling of great satisfaction when something just fits perfectly? like when you get to the end of a song as you pull into the driveway? Or when the gap in your suitcase is just big enough to fit that one last thing that you wanted to pack? Or when you realize that you can drop one kid at activity A, and turn around and pick up another kid from Activity B and be back in time to get the first child? Or when your document fits exactly on one page? Well I get that same really satisfied feeling when I put the last dish towel in the wash bin as Love, Maybe starts.

2) We went to a new to us Indian place! Funny story – as I was driving to the thrift store a few weeks ago, I passed our favorite Indian restaurant. This was the place from which we ordered trays of saag paneer and chana masala for our rehearsal dinner. (There might still be a portion of that chana masala in our freezer. We got married 17 years and an whole other house ago.). But… the Indian place was no longer there. I texted the Husband – “Did you know Red Chilis is closed???” He texted back, “Yeah it closed two years ago.” Wait, what??? I guess it had been a while since we had been there.
Anyhow, since then, I’ve had a hankering for Indian food, and so this past weekend, we tried a new to us Indian place that had lots of good reviews. It was a bit out of the way, but we decided to make an afternoon of visiting that part of the county – we ran errands in that direction, found a church near there with a 5pm Saturday Mass, and after Mass we went to Dosa and Chaat, which was located in an unassuming strip mall as any good restaurant would be. The food was amazing. We ordered Samosa Chaat – a samosa smothered in tamarind sauce – two kinds of dosa, two curries, and the goat biryani. Everything was so delicious and flavorful. We had intentionally ordered a lot of food so that we would have leftovers, but at the end there was just one little spoonful of butter chicken and one serving of the biryani to take home. I sort of regretted eating so much because next door was a vegan bakery that looked really good, but I was too full to get anything there. Ah well, next time. 10/10, would eat there again, even though the waiter did roll his eyes at us when we ordered the food mild. (for the kids’ sake. I like my food spicy. Even still, the biryani was pretty spicy.) I don’t always like going out to eat – it’s expensive and always such a production to go to restaurants with the kids – but getting good Indian food is always worth it to me.

Paneer Dosa. I didn’t get pictures of the rest of the food because we were too busy eating it.

3) There is a preschool nearby that twice a year has a huge consignment sale. I like to go because it’s a good way to stock up on clothes for the kids, but I have to admit the selection for kids 6+ is kind of slim. I think we might age out of this sale in another year or two. But anyhow, last week, I went and I picked up some long sleeved clothes for the kids, including this assortment of tops:

Two things, looking at the picture –
1) I have a weakness for red shirts, and
2) I was really excited to find some sort of matching tops for the 8 year old and the 6 year old. The 8 year old always complains that he never gets to match with his 5 year old sister. The 5 year old and the 13 year old used to have lots of matching outfits, and he felt left out – because heaven forbid that his older sister gets to do something that he doesn’t get to do!- so when I saw red and navy striped shirts in both their sizes, I put them in my basket. Don’t say I never do anything for you, kid.
Also – my other thought at the sale is I am baffled when people sell Cat and Jack (Target brand) clothes here for $4 or $5. I can get Cat and Jack leggings new at Target for $6 – why would I want to pay $4 for them at the consignment sale when there are other sturdier brands I could get for $4 or $5?
Oh – and my last thought on the consignment sale – I could not look at an item that was size “6/7”, without hearing my kids’ voice in my head saying that addictive, pervasive sing-song-y six-seven thing that is so popular these days. It was ridiculous. I even might have found myself muttering it under my breath at times.

4) I’ve recently discovered a new breakfast toast. Well, English Muffin, but still… the idea’s the same. English Muffin topped with peanut butter, honey, and apple slices. On the heels of Rosh Hashanah, I’ve been eating apples and honey. I’m not Jewish, but I have many friends who are, and they introduced me to this combination. Anyhow, I was having my usual English muffin with peanut butter and honey, when I realized – apples go with peanut butter. apples go with honey. So apples must go with peanut butter and honey! I was so right. It was delicious and now in regular rotation for English muffin or toast toppers.

5) Okay and one frustration – why are there so many things to log into for my kids’ school? There’s the website you log into to see their grades. There’s the site you log into to put money in their school lunch account. There’s the site you log into to pay for field trip and what not, because heaven forbid it can’t be the same site as what you use to pay for lunches. There is the site you log into to see assignments – which might be the same as the website for grades, but they have different names. I can’t keep up. This all came to a head for me when the 13 year old’s PE teacher wrote us a very nice email about how well the 13 year old is doing in PE class. It was the sweetest email to get. I wanted to write him back to thank him for the email. So I hit “reply”. And rather than just opening up a new email, I was taken to the log in page for ParentVue. Which, I don’t remember the log in information for. I just gave up. So, I’m very sorry Mr. PE Teacher – I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you, but I can’t seem to just be able to hit reply. Well, I hope you know you are appreciated. Maybe I’ll just send a note via carrier pigeon. I know the answer is really just to install a password manager. Sigh.

Grateful For:

-Pollinators and pollinator friendly plants. And the Husband for growing said plants – they are beautiful and useful. I don’t know what this plant is called, but it is such a cheerful addition to our front walk. The butterflies and the bees love it too.

-The library being open until 8pm. One evening, the Husband and the 13 year old were at a high school open house, so I took the two younger kids to gelato and the library. I appreciate having a safe quiet place to hang out with the kids in the evening.

-A bonus week! My number didn’t come up for jury service, so I didn’t have to report. I had originally blocked out this week for jury service just in case I had to go in, so I suddenly had a week open up for me. I got to have lunch with friends (twice!), go to the final day of union negotiations, visit a farmstand for apples, and all sorts of things.

-Apples! It’s apple season. So excited for all the different kinds of apples!

-That my chorus is small. I just started on my next opera and the chorus is just 12 people. The other show that we are producing, but which I’m not directly working on, has 60 people in the chorus. I love each and every member of our chorus, but I will fully admit, my job is a lot easier when there are 12 people, not 60.

Looking Forward To:
-Starting rehearsals. Can’t wait! One of my favorite operas.

-setting aside time to finally work on the kids’ Hallwe’en costumes.

-Family photos. We’re getting those taken next week. We haven’t had photos done in almost three years, but figured that the youngest going to kindergarten was a good reason to have fresh family photos taken. We’re trying to decide between taking them in an urban setting or at a park. The urban setting – downtown by my Husband’s work – has lots of interesting architecture; the park will probably be at peak fall foliage. Decision, decisions.

-Lenten Women’s group. We are reading, among other things, a passage from Esther. I’ve always loved Esther. Maybe because she is one of the few women who has her own book of the Bible.

-Mammogram and well woman appointment next week. Adulting. I’m not looking forward to the appointments, though I do really like my lady doctor. But I am looking forward to not having to think about it for another year.

What We Ate:
Monday: Sausage and steamed broccoli. The Husband cooked.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday – leftover pulled pork from the week below. Sliced cabbage, pickled onions, sour cream, cheese, and avocado for toppings.

Wednesday: Mac and cheese, hot dogs, and steamed green beans. The 13 year old cooked.

Thursday: Lemony white bean soup with turkey and greens. A Melissa Clark recipe from the NY Times Cooking. This soup was delicious and easy to put together. And it had lots of vegetables. I had enough leftover to freeze for future me.

Friday: Pizza (the Husband made it) and The Game Plan – movie featuring the Rock as someone who accidentally is saddled with a 9 year old daughter, he never knew about.

Saturday: Indian food at Dosa and Chaat.

Sunday: I had to work; The Husband made pasta with red sauce, and I ate the leftovers along with the leftover steamed broccoli from Monday.

Well, that’s another week, as we creep towards the end of the year! But first, Hallowe’en.
Do you have a weakness for a certain colour when you are buying clothes? Anyone want to weigh in on our urban vs. park family photo location? Do you have a soundtrack for any of your chores? What are your favorite things to eat on toast? Do you use a password manager? Tell me all about how awesome they are.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Checking things off the list, and looking towards the fourth quarter

Last week was my last week of true flexibility, so I had a bunch of things scheduled – picked up my new glasses (hooray! I can read again), flu shots for the kids, oil change (and then discovered the car also needed a new battery), annual check up for the 6 year old. I also got my hair cut. I like to get my hair cut before I start rehearsals because a) I feel more confident going into rehearsals if my hair looks put together and not over grown, and 2) I just won’t want to spend the time to get my hair cut once rehearsals start. This was the fastest cut I’ve ever had – even with the shampoo, I think I was in and out in less than 2o minutes. At first, I thought the bob looked a little more boxy than I usually have it cut, but I decided to live with it for a while because I’ve found that what I like in the chair often doesn’t grow out well. Anyhow, a few hours later, I decided I actually really liked my new hair cut – it’s long enough to tuck behind my ears, but short enough to look sleek and efficient.

New hair!

The weekend, was also my last two day weekend until mid December, and we went on a little adventure to Shepherdstown, West Virginia. (As mentioned in my Cool Bloggers Walking Club post). I had said a few weeks ago to the Husband that I hadn’t been hiking in a while. Then the last time we were at a contra dance, there was a lady from Shepherdstown who said we should come to their dance. So the Husband planned a little half day trip for the family with hiking and dancing.. We left after lunch and drove to the Yankeur Nature Preserve, about twenty minutes outside of Shepherdstown. The Nature Preserve was farmland in the 1800s and then in the 1960s was given to the Nature Conservancy to be returned to it’s original forested state. The hike wasn’t a very ambitious, more of a nature walk through a forest via a trail. The loop peaked at a bench overlooking the Potomac where we sat and had snacks before getting back to the car.

After the hike we went to dinner at the Blue Moon Cafe, chosen because there had been a request for burgers. We sat in the outdoor garden, and ordered fried pickles for an appetizer. The two kids who had burgers said that the burgers were amazing. I had the crabcake dinner – the homemade crabcakes were really good too. From the restaurant we walked the couple blocks to the dance which was at the Community Club. The walk was really cute – Shepherdstown is a historic town – I think the oldest in West Virginia – and the downtown area is full of colonial architecture and little shops. Apparently it’s also the most haunted town in America and we passed by a group going on ghost tour.

The dance itself was very welcoming. The caller knew the Husband from back when he used to dance every week (sometimes twice) and go to contra dance weekends. When we walked in, she gave him a big hug and was so happy to see us all. The dance we pretty small and there were several people I recognized from the DC area there. Everyone was very forgiving of the kids being there, even when they kept going the wrong way during the dance. I was actually surprised that they danced as much as they did. Usually when we go dancing, they’ll do two or three dances and spend the rest of the time just running around chasing each other. Also this dance had snacks, which always helps. We danced til about 9:45pm and then piled back in the car and drove home. We got home around 11:30pm, but the nice thing about having a two day weekend is that you get to sleep in a little the next day. Or take a mid-Sunday nap. I have to be honest, Sunday was a little rough because everyone was very tired, but I do think it’s worth a day of being tired in order to have a nice adventure.

October Plans and Goals… or not. So I had originally titled this post “Fourth Quarter Goals and Plans” and I was going to write about my fall fun list/ goals for the rest of the year/ lofty plans of achievement. It seems early to be thinking about the holiday season already – I’m not trying to induce panic or anything in anyone, so sorry if you are having a bad reaction to my mention of the holidays. Though I’m sure many of you are on top of things and already planning holiday festivities. I don’t usually even think about the holidays until after Hallowe’en at the earliest. Sometimes after Thanksgiving when it’s too late and I do indeed panic. But I will say, I was a little taken aback when I got home and the kids were poring over a little something that arrived in the mail last week:

Thanks, Amazon.

I was thinking about goals for October, but then the way my work schedule is, October rolls right into November into December and it doesn’t let up. It’s a downhill slide to the end of the year from here. After kicking around October/fourth Quarter goals for a few days, I thought, “Who am I kidding?” I start rehearsals in two weeks for a show and do two operas back to back. I don’t think I will be aiming for anything loftier than get through to the new year with kindness, grace, and patience. Because here is what is already in the calendar for the rest of the year:

-Two operas back to back. (Meaning two times through the prep week/ rehearsal weeks/ tech weeks/ performance cycles). Between October 12th and December 15th, I just have one day off a week. I haven’t double checked the calendar, but that is just nine days off – one of which is Hallowe’en, and one of which is Thanksgiving.

-Start prepping for hiring next year, all while in rehearsals/ performance.

-Parent Teacher conferences.

-a Supertitle gig – I can’t work the actual recital because of opera rehearsal, but I’ll be creating the power point slides.

-the 13 year old’s school play

-family photos

-Well woman appointment and mammogram

-usual slate of activities for the kids – soccer, piano, agility class, skating, basketball.

-The holiday trifecta of Hallowe’en/ Thanksgiving/ Christmas and all the joys and expectations those involve. I think my parents might be coming for Thanksgiving.

-Lenten book club (Though I guess we are easing into advent.)

-a few random days off school and half days for the kids

-Trip to Taiwan for my Grandfather’s birthday celebration.

All to say, I don’t know that I have it in me to make a ambitious fun list because I think I will need to maintain some blank spaces for me and for family time. Here’s the thing, though – I think I (we) can have a low key fall/ winter and still lean into the season; I don’t need to have big adventures on my one day off in order to feel like I’m enjoying the season. It’s about paying attention to the every day things that make October, November, and December different from the rest of the year, to give the things that I do daily a special holiday sprinkle. Some ideas for low key seasonal things that can fold into the regular rhythms of the life while still allowing restorative space:
-eat lots of apples
-spend time outdoors and savor the trees in all their fall splendor. Take time to notice holiday decorations as I see them – I might not have the space in me to rally a trip to one of the huge light displays, but I can take time to marvel at the Christmas lights I see on my commute.
-Tuba Christmas. The one tradition I’ll always make time for.
-change the clocks and savor the shift in light (It was pitch dark at 6:30am this morning and I felt like I didn’t know what was happening.)
-make and enjoy soups and baked goods. Or just buy and eat lots of baked goods. Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe Joes or Peppermint Stars?
-drink lots of tea.
-dress in seasonal colours and fabrics – warm oranges, yellows, reds, cozy sweaters and hats, and booties, and scarves. I love fall and cool weather dressing.
-pull out/ borrow Christmas picture books to have casually around the house. Maybe find a Christmas themed read aloud to read with the kids. Any suggestions? The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is well loved in our house.
-board games and hot chocolate (with candy cane stir sticks).
-watch Hallmark Holiday movies, even if it’s while I do the dishes at night. (The Hallmark Holiday Movie schedule is out! I’m am VERY excited for #26 – checks so many of my Hallmark Holiday Movie catnip boxes. Also there’s a time travel one, which I always love; and there’s a new installment of the Three Wise Men series! So excited. Also the movies start this weekend!!)
-read a big book. I’m thinking I might finally get to reading East of Eden. Though I’m also kicking around Anna Karenina ever since I listened to Nilo Cruz’s play Anna in the Tropics.
-eat my kids’ Hallowe’en candy
-write and send the holiday card. (If you want to exchange holiday cards – email me or leave a comment and I’ll email you!) And display the cards that come to us.
-journal reflections on the year that was and the year ahead.
-be grateful for the year that was and is, and ask the kids what they are grateful for.
-seasonal music during church services. Singing Christmas carols loudly in the car.

Notably not on my list is NaBloWriMo – Look, last year I really relished the challenge of participating, and also I really loved reading all the content that people created. But I am not a fast writer and I don’t like the pressure of cranking out content without being able to ponder and edit and edit again. I like the sense of flow that I get from writing, but that flow sometimes means that I can sit at my computer to write and two hours will go by in a blink of an eye. November is just not the time for me to be cranking out a daily blog post in that immersive way. I look forward to reading and commenting on other people’s posts and I will hopefully continue to post at my usual once or twice a week rate.

I may be over-estimating how tapped I will be this last quarter of the year, but fall last year was miserable with how packed our lives were – we had two kids in operas, and I was working on a really challenging show that just sucked everything from me. That was for sure a “never again” experience. I’m glad my kids got to be in the opera and experience being on stage, but it just about killed us to make it work. This fall/winter, I want more space so I can savor and give attention to what is important.

Things to prioritize in a busy season:
-Sleep.
-Breathing.
-yoga and other exercise
-sunlight and fresh air
-nutritious food and comfort food.
-family
-kindness and grace and gratitude
-hugs and kisses.

I might need to write that out and put it on a Post It somewhere to remind myself, especially when I feel like I’m not keeping up with everyone around me who are holiday-ing to the fullest.

Grateful For:

-Our mechanic. I’m grateful that we have a mechanic we trust to bring out car to. Funny story – when I took the car in, he asked me which car I was bringing and I said the red Subaru Impreza.
“Oh! The manual one?” he asked, his eyes lighting up.
“Yes,” I said.
“Fun!”

-Fast Internet. I went down a YouTube rabbit hole one night last week and at one point, I thought, “Man, isn’t it nice that I can watch this whole video on the making of Sense and Sensibility without waiting for it to buffer?”

-The Husband for driving when we go places. I don’t really like driving, so I’m always grateful that he gets behind the wheel.

-Time in the evening with the family. We’ve had a few nights without plans so after dinner we’ve been just hanging out. One night we did puzzles. One night we painted. One night we played Skyjo. By “we” I do mean me and the 6 and 8 year old. The 13 year old would rather watch YouTube shorts in her room. I’m trying to be okay with this, but I feel my self being all judgmental parent about it. The funny thing is she will email me links to funny videos, which is sweet, but I’m like, “DUDE! I’m sitting in the next room, just come show me!” She says it’s more fun just to email me. Sigh.

-A shady spot at the soccer game on an 80 degree day. What the heck, Fall???

-but on that note- the otherwise gorgeous fall weather. The cool breezes that help cut through the autumn heat.

-my bike.

-Thrift Stores. I’ve been on the hunt at thrift stores for things with which I can piece together the kids’ Hallowe’en costumes. The two little kids want to be K-Pop Demon Hunter characters. I found some clothes that I can use as a base, spending less than $10 per kid so far. And then I went and spent $50 on bling at Michael’s. I think most of that $50 of bling is going to get returned. Our thrift stores here are huge and not really curated, so it’s exhausting to go. But I did find some gems, including this puzzle which made me think of Elisabeth!:

Looking Forward To:
-Starting work on my next show.

-Stage Management Soup Party! For the past few years the stage management department has had a soup party in the fall and it’s a lot of fun. We have quite a few vegetarians, so I’m thinking of either making the Chickpea noodle soup from America’s Test Kitchen’s Vegan for Everyone, or this Chickpea Gnocchi Soup. Or maybe a lentil soup? So many options!

-Walk with furloughed friend. The government shutdown pretty much sucks, but it does mean that some of my friends are available for mid day walks and lunches. Silver linings.

-Kabocha squash. It’s squash season! Kabocha squash was one of my grandmother’s favorite vegetables. I got one from the farm stand the other day and I can’t decide what to do with it – curry? fried rice (there is a recipe in Meera Sodha’s new cookbook that looks really good)? This squash, kimchi, and chickpea dish looks divine, but might be too spicy for the family.

-Just started this on audio – it’s cute, and fun and set in Baltimore – always a kick to read a book set somewhere close.

Also the author has a book coming out this week Grace and Henry’s Holiday Movie Marathon, which lead to this text exchange with my friend who loves Hallmark movies as much as I do:

-And tearing through this book as well. (partly because it’s a three week loan. I’m still on the fence as to whether I like it or not. It’s very well written, but some of it just seems like too much every day life things.)

What we ate:

Monday: Tofu and Tomato Stir Fry with Sesame Rice from Meera Sodha’s new cookbook Dinner. You can also find the recipe here in Sodha’s column in the Guardian that features vegan recipes. This dish was basically a vegan take on eggs with tomatoes which is a very common dish in Taiwan. The rice was drizzled with sesame oil to give it a bit of a pop. I thought this was very tasty and it was quick – ready in less than 30 minutes. I made this because I had a bunch of tomatoes to use up. Sodha’s recipes are always full of flavor and pretty simple, but I have to say this cookbook isn’t speaking to me as much as her other cookbooks: East and Made in India and Fresh India – this book seems more fussy somehow. Even still, there are a few more dishes I want to try before I return this book to the library. Vegan.

Tuesday: Pulled pork tacos for Taco Tuesday. The Husband made the pork in the crockpot and we had our usual accompaniment of cabbage, pickled onions, sour cream, cheese, and hard and soft tortilla shells. The kids like the hard shells. I guess it’s a good vehicle for sour cream and cheese.

Wednesday: Breakfast sandwiches. The Husband cooked.

Thursday: Spaghetti and meatballs with salad (bagged) and garlic bread. The 13 year old cooked. She also somehow made two whole boxes of spaghetti even though it was just four of us for dinner, so now we have a lot of plain pasta leftover. I froze it, but I’m not quite sure what to do with it.

Friday: Pizza (take out) and Freaky Friday, the 2003 Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsey Lohan version. It was my turn to choose the movie, and I picked Freaky Friday because I wanted to watch the sequel that came out this summer, but of course the kids had to see the first one first. Curtis and Lohan are brilliant in this movie. I will say, the romantic aspects didn’t seem as funny to me on re-watching. Mark Harmon (whom I have a huge celebrity crush on) trying to kiss Jamie Lee Curtis who is inhabited by her teenager’s mind- it just seemed icky. Was it funny twenty years ago?

Saturday: Dinner out at Blue Moon Cafe in Shepherdstown before the dance.

Sunday: Pasta (store bought ravioli) with red sauce. The 13 year old had leftovers because she had to eat earlier since she had swim clinic.

That’s the news from last week. This weekend looks to be rainy and I have to work, so it’ll probably be a good weekend to hunker and catch up on things. The house is due for a good “put back together” session. Hope you’re week went well, and you have good plans ahead.
Any suggestions for what to do with leftover (cooked) plain spaghetti noodles? Are you thinking/planning for the holidays yet? What’s your favorite soup?

Weekly Recap + What We Ate: Thinking about an Intentional Summer

Last week was my first week without a show to work on, and, as always, there’s a period of readjustment/ re-entry after being gone in the evenings and weekends so much. Things are not where I expect them to be, routines have shifted, some routines haven’t shifted yet I need to figure out how to fit back into them. Expectations have shifted. That’s a big one, I’m learning. When the family doesn’t expect me home, it’s a bit of a shift when I am all of a sudden around.

Some delightful things last week, though…

-Social plans with friends – Happy hour (or rather happy three hours) with my friends from the bus stop who I don’t see anymore because of return to office orders. It was great to catch up and I had a delicious dill pickle brined fried chicken sandwich. Another day, I had lunch with other friends whom I used to work with but now don’t see anymore.

-Randomly running into one of those lunch friends four days later at the skating rink with our kids. Isn’t it so delightful when you randomly run into a friend? And it was so nice to meet her son. I have friends who I meet through our kids and it’s nice to have friends that were friends before kids and you finally meet their kids and it’s like meeting a mini version of your friend.

-Going to Ikea with my parents. Having lunch at the cafe where the light is so soft and makes everything look good. Also – how much do I love wandering through Ikea! All the lives and possibilities it’s trying to sell me? Everything so practical. And finding the exact chair we wanted in their clearance room for $17, marked down from $35.

It was a very rainy day – felt very Scandanavian.

-The 5 year old was finally baptized. The Husband is Catholic, so this is something that we had intended to do in 2020, but pandemic and then procrastination. And here we are. I’m not Catholic, but I do love rituals of tradition and gathering.

-It’s also Breakfast Smoothie Season here. The kids have been having berry smoothies (cashews – though I’m temporarily out, frozen berries, kefir, honey, chia seeds, banana, ice.) and I’ve been having green smoothies (kale, ginger, honey, vanilla, kefir, banana). The other day, the 5 year old said to me, “You have an Elphaba smoothie and I have a Galinda smoothie!” Side note, I think we will be watching Wicked for movie night soon.

Summertime….For the first time in a while, I’m not working during the summer. Even though the prospect of nine weeks at home seems to stretch into the void, I know it will fly by quickly and before you know it, we’ll be back in school. I don’t want to arrive at the end of August feeling like I didn’t have an intentional summer. Which is not to say everything needs to be planned – I just want to have a good mix of fun, productive projects, active moments, and relaxing time. And connection. I am fast realizing that our summers as a family of 5 are limited. We only have four or five years left before the oldest one is launched and off to college. I want to set building blocks so that we feel connected as a family.

Things that are already on the calendar:
-Swim Team for the 13 year old, pre-team for the 8 and 5 year olds. This means 5 evenings a week at the pool for most of June and July.
-Trip to South Africa with the 13 year old. (10 Days)
-Weekend in New York City to meet up with the Husband’s sister.
-Summer Camp -for the 8 year old: 2 weeks of theatre camp. For the 13 year old, 2 weeks of basketball camp and 3 weeks of theatre camp
-continuing with piano lessons (13 year old and the 8 year old), and basketball workouts (13 year old), and skating lessons (8 year old and 5 year old) and agility class and/or gymnastics (5 year old)
-five days at a Taiwanese American cultural camp for the 5 and 8 year olds. They are going with my mother. I don’t really know what goes on there, but it’ll be their first time away without me or the Husband and I’m excited/nervous about how they’ll take it.
-the 5 year old’s last day of preschool will be the end of June. (SOB!). I’ve sent the notice. I’m feeling a little sad and wistful and I’m regretting that her last day will be while I’m away, but it didn’t make sense to keep her in longer since she’s going to Taiwanese American kids camp the day before I get back.

Other Summer Things on my Menu of Activities: I’m calling this a “menu” because these are things I’ve brainstormed for this summer – some fun activities, some life tasks. It’s not a “to do” list or any kind of mandate by any means.
-Time at the Pool (aside from swim team time – I would love to swim some laps myself. Maybe even take the kids to the county pool where there are water slides.)
-Getting the two younger kids to learn how to swim confidently and independently.
-Make a family summer play list.
-Family biking time – teaching the 5 year old to ride without training wheels and getting the 8 year old a new bike. (he is currently using a pink and turquoise hand me down bike with broken pedals.)
-Teaching the 8 year old how to tie his shoes.
-Boba taste test. There are a lot of boba shops around here. The 13 year old and I have a plan to try all the places and pick our favorite.
-Camping.
-Hiking.
-Visit the library and read lots of books
-Find a perfect pair of sandals. This is on the summer list every year for the past three years or so, but I love my current El Naturalista Zumaia sandals so much that I always I manage to squeeze one more summer out of them. I would like to get a new pair of sandals before I leave for South Africa.
-make paletas. I borrowed some books from the library with recipes I want to try.
-Mow the lawn regularly. I don’t like yardwork, and the Husband does most of it, so I’m vowing to take on some of it.
-host friends for grilling/dinner
-Lunches and meet ups with friends, particularly mom friends and former federal worker friends.
-Outdoor concerts and music
-eat lots of peaches. (Last year we regularly got peaches from The Peach Truck, but they aren’t delivering nearby this year. I’m trying to decide if it’s worth the 30 minute drive for a 25 lb box of amazing peaches.)
-Take the kids to a rock climbing gym or to the adventure park.
-Take the kids to the local water park.
-Closet audit. Get rid of things I no longer wear.
-Watercolor postcard project. Paint and send mail. (Do you want a postcard from me? I feel like if I collect addresses, I’m committing myself to doing this one. Which would be a good thing.)
-Go school supply shopping in early August. Also Maryland’s tax free week is the beginning of August, so if we need any clothes or shoes, that would be a good time to go shopping for those. (Although the kids usually get fresh shoes for summer…)
-Teaching the kids some life skills (cooking, touch typing, how to tell time, maybe cursive – is that too ambitious?)/ making sure they get into the habit of doing their chores.
-Eating outside when possible.
-Have a screen free day or two.
-See some opera. Even though I won’t be working for the opera company I worked for last summer, i do want to see some of their productions.
-movie afternoons, either at home or at a movie theatre.
-Buy produce at a farmer’s market, or a farm stand. Make yummy food from our purchases.
-Going to the County Fair, riding all the rides and seeing the animals.
-Work-wise – we have union negotiations coming up this summer. I want to be an active participant in that.
-I also have a few work meetings scattered here and there that I’ll need to attend.
-Decluttering projects: The sewing corner, my desk corner, the medicine/linen closet in the bathroom, the pile of outgrown clothes/hand me downs in the 13 year old’s bedroom. The toy room. I’m posting a picture to remind myself what a dire situation these places are. Brace yourselves, it’s kind of awful. I hope I’ll have some “after” pictures come August.

Potential Summer Stressors:
-Money. When I’m not working, money is of course a little tighter. I’m going to try to pick up one off gigs when I can, but to be honest, I don’t love event work; it pays really well, but is highly stressful for me.
-Not having enough alone time. I will always have at least one child at home with me this summer, and sometimes I just want to sit and read and not have to fix a snack or read someone a book or referee a fight or what not. I’m lucky that my kids are pretty self sufficient, but even still, it’s not nothing.
-Being hot. Being in the sun. Being in the car when I’m hot. This always just puts me in a bad mood. At least I won’t have a soul sucking commute like I did last summer, though there will be time in the car because of camp drop offs/pick ups.
-mosquitoes.
-house projects with the house we manage.
-Getting the kids to actively participate in chores or family activities/ fighting about screen time. I fully recognize the need for them to have time to chill and decompress, but also want to balance that with a sense of responsibility.
-Eating dinner at the pool all the time and keeping pool time organized in general. It’s a lot of work to pack for the pool. Last year, I got it down to a good routine, but every year is a little different. One of the big shifts this year is I have to reconsider where we dry the swim stuff. We used to dry it in the lower bathroom, but now that is the 13 year old’s bathroom, so it is going to be inconvenient for her to have to always move the stuff.

Now that I’ve written all that down, I can see summer as full of possibilities and also some road blocks. I think what will help with the road blocks:
-Researching low cost activities. We are lucky there are a lot of free things to do in the area.
-Sitting down and making a plan to do those low cost activities. Put them on the calendar.
-Being brave and saying, “Yes” to any gigs that I can work.
-Having a structure to my days – block in rest time and adventure time and chore time. Or acknowledge that some days will only be two of those three categories. Or even just one.
-Have lots of cool treats and beverages in the fridge and freezer.
-Meal plan. I do this a lot anyway.
-Making a screen time plan with the kids.
-Embrace mornings as calm times. Embrace evenings as family time.
-Remember that the goal is we a feel connected and ready for the new school/work year in September.

Grateful For This Week:
-Stories from my parents. I’m going to admit that my parents and I don’t have a super easy relationship. It’s loving and supportive, but the conversation has never really flowed easily between us. I’m sure I need to unpack that a little -I feel like it has something to do with the culture that my parents are from (very patriarchal/valuing filial piety) and the culture I grew up in (less so, and resentful of filial piety) Anyhow, on Mother’s Day, the New York Times published article called “25 Questions to Bring You Closer to Your Mom.” Every so often in the days that followed, I would ask my mom and dad one of the questions, and the answers were surprising and insightful. Some of my favorites:
“What was your nickname growing up?”
“What are some of your favorite memories of the two of us?”
“What’s the worst advice you ever received about motherhood?”
“Who made you feel seen when you were growing up?” I thought this one was particularly interesting because both my parents said when they were growing up, they didn’t want to be seen, because that meant they were in trouble. This made my heart ache a little.

-Dog Man books in the Little Free Library. The 8 year old LOVES Dog Man books. I love not having to pay full price for them.

-Sleep. Trying to catch up and having the time to catch up and having a bed in which to catch up. I’ve been noticing this past year that I get incredibly tired the day or two before I get my period. Like “in bed by 9:30pm” tired. (I’m usually in bed at midnight most nights). I’m grateful I had the time and space to be able to just sleep last week when I was premenstrually tired.

-Cherry Coke and a chocolate chip cookie. An awesome combination.

-The 5 year old getting into the French Immersion program. This means that she will get to go to the same school as the 8 year old. Thank goodness. I mean we would have figured out three kids at three different schools – and we will have to in a few years – but I’m grateful that that is a future me problem.

-The Husband for clearing everyone out of the house when I had a splitting headache. He took the 8 year old to soccer practice and also convinced the other two kids and my parents to ride along. I lay in a dark and quiet room and popped a bunch of Advil and was feeling much more normal when they came home two hours later.

-That the rain let up just in time. We were supposed to meet our friends for a picnic and a show last Friday, and just as I was stepping out the door, the rain came down in unrelenting sheets, making driving pretty scary, and I thought, “Uh oh, so much for a picnic!” But the rain was actually quite isolated and the skies at the park was clear and the picnic tables were relatively dry and we had a lovely picnic lunch and then went to see a student musical theatre showcase and it was quite a fun evening.

-Park benches along a trail and the the perfect not to hot/not too cold weather to sit on one and enjoy the wind in the trees.

Looking forward to:

-June. Maycember is hitting pretty hard. I don’t know that June will be any more restful, but I’m looking forward to flipping the page on the calendar. It’s all good things in May – baptisms, recitals, soccer games, parents visiting, first communions, wrapping up the school year – but it is exhausting to be always out and about.

-Memorial Day Weekend. Is this weekend?!?!?! where did that come from? I understand we have plans to grill with our friends, but I’m a little hazy on the details.

-This audiobook. I don’t usually do romance novels on audio, but this one is narrated by Will Watt, who read Ten Things That Never Happened, and he was so charming and heartfelt in that book that when I saw he had recorded a new audio book, I immediately put it on my holds list. His deep, rumbly voice is like being wrapped up in my favorite feel good movie.

What We Ate:
Monday: Pesto Pasta Salad from NYTimes Cooking. I didn’t have capers, so I used sundried tomatoes instead, and I subbed walnuts for the pine nuts. Everyone really liked this. Vegan

Tuesday: Shrimp Tacos. This was the night I went out with my friends, so i had a very tasty dill pickle brined fried chicken sandwich. Before I left, I prepped the shrimp for the tacos and left the 13 year old with instructions on heating up the taco shells.

Wednesday: Kielbasa on the grill, sweet potatoes, and steamed broccoli. The Husband cooked. The sweet potatoes were this recipe, and were really tasty. The Kielbasa was from the Kielbasa factory, and we cooked them on the grill. I’m so excited for more grilling. Also – in my quest for ways that the kids can help in the kitchen after dinner, I had the 5 year old label the leftover kielbasa:

Thursday: Dumplings and green beans

Friday: Chicken sandwich picnic – I also packed cucumbers, apples, and strawberries.

Saturday: Pizza (carry out) and Chariots of Fire (It was my dad’s turn to pick the movie. I’ve never seen Chariots of Fire before – the two older kids were surprisingly engaged. The 5 year old, not so much.)

Sunday: Mac and Cheese – the 13 year old is made dinner! She did accidentally put in twice the amount of butter than was called for, so it was a very rich mac n cheese.

Hope your week has been lovely!
What would you do with 25lbs of peaches? What corner in your house is most in need of a good declutter? Favorite frozen treat or cold drink for summer? Who made/makes you feel seen? Mosquito solutions? Any plans for the Memorial Day weekend? I have to work on Saturday, but I’m hoping for a hike and some time with friends on Sunday and Monday.

Weekly recap + what we ate: Snack conundrum, February aspirations, and listening to

This week – work, family, federal chaos. I don’t know if I have the bandwidth to unpack all of that. Or even if I should/want to/etc.

So here are some less consequential things on my mind lately….

The snack situation at our house is pissing me off. It seems like the kids are constantly snacking. Okay, I’m going to be honest – what pisses me off the most is that they are taking my snacks. Specifically my peanut M&Ms. One of my snacks of choice to pack for work is a trail mix of pretzels, peanut M&Ms, and dried cherries. I bought a big bag of M&Ms to do this. (Rather, the Husband bought me a bag when he was at the grocery store.) The kids found it and the bag was nearly gone within the week. Ooooh the rage I felt. Anyhow – my options as I see it are:
1)stop buying Peanut M&Ms. This would make me sad.
2) Hide the peanut M&Ms better. But where? The kids are very persistent.
3) Give them better alternatives. Would this work? Would they eat the bowl of carrots I put out for them? Really they just want M&Ms.
4) have a no snacking rule. HAHAHAHAHA. Nope.
5) get over myself and let them eat the peanut M&Ms.

I realize this is completely irrational. Peanut M&Ms aren’t like beer – it’s not something I can pass off as a “Mommy snack.” I’m trying to think of why my kids can’t have Peanut M&Ms whenever they want in a way that doesn’t make me feel petty. (ie. they can’t have peanut M&Ms because the M&M are MINE!!!!!) Sigh. It’s really hard to be the bigger person in this parenting thing.

So anyhow I’m trying to think of better snacks.

Listening to lately – Despite my musing in my 2024 media diet post about my lack of music listening, I’ve been trying to rectify it somewhat. Some things I’m listening to:
–All Songs Considered. I am so not hip, but I like this podcast because they play music I’ve never heard of (honestly that’s not that difficult. My musical rolodex is quite limited) by artists I’ve never heard of (but probably should know about), and they tell you why they like the pieces.

-Our Tainan playlist. On the bus in Taiwan, I made a playlist by asking everyone in the family (my parents, my brother’s family’ the Husband and kids) to choose one song to add to the list. It’s a little all over the place, but I love listening it because it reminds me of my family:

-Okay you know what is unassumingly charming music? The soundtrack to Bluey. There is even a poppy version of Pachelbel’s Canon that doesn’t drive me batty. I’ve been playing this album when I want something cheerful in the background. The music embodies the happiness I want my kids to remember when they are grown,.


(Note – Pachelbel’s Canon is one of those pieces of music that makes me roll my eyes. Funny story – It was the one piece of music that I was adament would not be played at my wedding. The organist suggested it and was shut down rather quickly. But then, my parents arranged a wedding banquet in Taiwan for all their relatives. And what did the DJ play when the Husband and I entered? Pachelbel’s Canon. What could the Husband and I do but laugh?)

Some light aspirations for February:

-Register the 5 year old for kindergarten. This is one of two big “To Do” of February. She is for sure going to Kindergarten this fall. No one is stopping her.

– Start organizing forms for our tax person. This is the other big “To Do” for us. I start back at rehearsal at the end of March, so I need this done before then. Also our tax guy wants tax documents submitted two weeks before

-Schedule an appointment for window treatments. Now that I’ve donated the 20 year old car, this is the looming-perpetually-put-off item at the top of my to do list.

-Schedule an eye appointment. The situation is sad, friends. I haven’t had my eyes checked in four or five years and things just don’t look crisp anymore. I really need to fix this before I have to spend more time standing in the dark backstage trying to read music by the light of a tiny book light.

-Paint and send some cards.

-Work – clean out the office, organize the laptop situation, order spike tape. I have two supertitle gigs, so I want to make sure I get ahead of that work and not leave it to the last minute.

-home – 30 day declutter challenge. I found a Thirty Day Declutter Challenge online. I like that it’s in ten minute increments.

-write Taiwan/Kuala Lumpur trip recaps.

-Schedule time to see friends.

-Family game night.

-Make it to one of the 13 year old’s middle school basketball games.

-Valentine’s Day. Help the kids write their cards.

-Routine and Habit goals:
* yoga daily
* journal/ track habits daily
*1 vegan dinner a week. Trying to eat more vegetables.
*Go to bed before midnight.
*Read every day.

Grateful For – It’s been so uplifting to read read everyone’s FIGs via Elisabeth’s gratitude challenge. Here are some of my FIGS for the past week:
– The Husband showing me a beautiful sunset. He was on his way out the door to pick up one of the kids and he came back, saying, “Look at this sunset!” It was stunning, all orange-y pink incandescence.

-Hoodies with zippered pockets. Good for when I just stuff my keys in my pocket.

-Our gas grill and the tenant who left it for us. I was a charcoal grill person for the longest time, but then our tenant left behind a gas grill when she moved out. It’s not the same flavor, but it sure as hell is faster.

-Wifi at kids’ activities. Lets me get work done. Or blogging. Like right now at the Agility Center.

-Fresh baked muffins. And a batter that is sturdy enough to sit in the fridge for a few days so that I can make more on a whim.

-A commute home when I hit all the green lights. Makes me feel unstoppable.

-Parks and playgrounds nearby. I feel so lucky that we live somewhere that there’s usually a park or playground within a 10-15 minute radius of wherever we are, so if we have some awkward time to kill between activities, we can find a playground.

-Movie night and cuddles from the kids on the couch.

-The cherry tree in the living room isn’t dead after all. The Husband on a whim bought a cherry tree last year. It’s been living in our living room and for a while it was just sad and bare. But slowly, so slowly that I hadn’t even noticed, there has been green emerging from the brown branches. And this week, there was even a blossom.

Looking Forward To:
– Contra Dancing! There is a Thursday night contra dance this week near us. Looking forward to going with the family.

-Vanilla. So we ran out of vanilla this week. Or rather we ran out of vanilla at some point before this week and no one clocked it to put it on the grocery list before I wanted to make a big batch of muffins. I had some vanilla beans that my mother in law had bought me for Christmas one year. (Note, my mother in law passed away in 2016, so these have been in the pantry for a looooong time.) I’d been too intimidated to use the vanilla bean, but desparate times….

I scraped a vanilla pod into the muffins. then I read that you could make your own vanilla extract by sticking a vanilla pod in vodka and leaving it for six months. Well…. Last show, a singer had given me a tiny bottle of vodka for opening night. Alcohol is a common opening night present, but I don’t drink, so it’s often a conundrum of what to do with it. Well, this was perfect. I stuck a vanilla bean in that tiny bottle of vodka. And now I wait. For six months. I’m so excited. I also hope I remember it’s there in August.

Open in six months. I guess I have to remember where I put it in six months.

-Another snow day. Looking forward to hunkering, maybe baking. I have some meetings that I’ll take from home. Shhhhh… don’t tell the kids, but there might be movie marathon at some point so I can read. See next point.

-Reading this book:

This book was all the rage last year. It finally came off my holds as a seven day loan, so I’m madly trying to read it this week because if I don’t finish it, the waitlist for this book is like 2000 people long. It’s proving funny and sharp. Also makes me wonder if my wardrobe is boring and normal.

What We Ate:
Monday: Greek Salad and Zucchini Fritters. Vegan. (I used a flax egg for the fitters.)

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday. We had a friend over this time. I made grilled chicken, black beans, shrimp, mango-cabbage slaw. We had also pickled onions, guac, sour cream, avocados. Corn tortillas and wheat tortillas.

Wednesday: Random dinner – I used up the rest of the sunchokes by making another batch of sunchoke chips, and also steamed green beans. The Husband was out running and errand and came home with kung pao chicken and garlic pork.

Thursday: Waffles and tofu scramble (The Husband Cooked). This was our attempt at breakfast for dinner in an age of $10 eggs.

Friday: Pizza (The Husband made it) and Avengers: Civil War. A very unsatisfying movie.

Saturday: DogFish Head Brewery for the Husband’s birthday

Super Bowl Sunday: We had several friends over and there was so. much. food: we made cheeseteaks, dumplings, and snickerdoodles. Our friends brought: smoked turkey, chicken wings, white bean buffalo dip, brownies. There was also a lot of chips, Doritos (Cool Ranch and Regular), and cucumbers and carrots. Also, these Pringles:

I am pretty notorious in my circles for eating anything, but these were… not good. They were meaty with a green pepper aftertaste that tasted both surprisingly accurate and completely artificial.

Hope you have a lovely week!

What are you currently snacking on? What’s one song you would add to my playlist? Any big to do list items for February?

Weekly recap + what we ate: September Review/October Aspirations

I was feeling kind of “meh” about September. We had a big goal of doing a lot of decluttering, but we had one major win (the attic), and one kind of fail (the toy room.) We have a plan for the foyer to manage our shoes and socks and drop zones, but it requires ordering new shoe storage. I’m excited about the shoe storage that we have picked out, but it is pricy, so I’m not sure when we’ll order it. And then on top of it all, the start of school and activities just feels overwhelming – totally my own doing, of course, but it’s stressful.

But when I went to journal about my September, I found there were some highlights tucked in there.

September Highlights:
– My parents came to visit.
-The youngest kid turned five!!! We had cake at home and also a birthday party for her with friends at the small local aquarium.
-The kids and I went to the Renaissance Faire. It was so much fun. I’m glad we went early because it’s been sold out for the rest of the season since mid September.
-Going through the attic and throwing out/donating/ passing along so much stuff. The space that this has opened up is amazing.
-Family Game Night. A wonderful, quieter alternative to big adventures.
-Discovered some tasty food near us – a Balkan restaurant and an Indonesian one.
-The County’s Friendship picnic – tasty falafel and bounce houses.
-On the work front – working a corporate gig (a new to me experience), and doing super titles for a Vocal Recital (familiar gig, nice to return to).
-We found out that the 12 year old got into the children’s chorus for the holiday opera that I’m working on. She was so excited. I took this picture of her reading the offer:

September Lowlights – funny how many of these lowlights are tied to the highlights:
-Trying to figure out the logistics of getting the 12 year old to opera rehearsals. Rehearsals start at 4pm, and that’s kind of a logistical nightmare. She doesn’t start until November, but it’s causing a lot of stress.
-My parents came to visit, but I barely saw them because I was working most nights that they were here.
– Not managing to work through the toy room declutter.
-Not having a chance to go on any hikes or visit any museums all month. This might be the first month all year where I didn’t fit in either a hike or a museum visit.

October Aspirations:
Okay, I had written a big long list for October aspirations, but I think I’ll just whittle it down to a few essentials:
– Survive our schedule, making sure everyone stays fed, rested, and gets where they are scheduled to be. In addition to the kids’ usual activities, the 7 year old is going to be a supernumerary (non-speaking extra) in the opera I’m working on. I might regret signing him up – it will be several late nights and will take thoughtful logistics, but he’s excited to do it, and I’m excited to have him in the show.
-Hallowe’en. I think we have costumes sorted out. I need to make them, but I’ve penciled costume work days into my calendar.
– Another effort on the toy room purge.
-VOTE. This is a big one. Early voting starts in ten days. If I don’t do anything else, I need to do this.
-Remember to hug the Husband and children every day.
-Daily time outside. Even the low bar of the Cool Bloggers Walking Club seems high to me right now, but here’s a reminder to step outside and breath the fall air every day.
-I had a bunch of other aspirations written down – the perpetual “get rid of car” project, planning for our Asia Trip, hike, museum, exercise, no-spend month, social plans… I think those are going on the “really, maybe, probably not this month” list. I’m setting expectations low here.

Other Things This Week:
-Contra-dancing! The Husband suggested we go contra-dancing this week. There is a new-ish contra dance about two miles down the road from us on the second Thursday of the month. The Husband and I met contra-dancing and we used to go several times a month. In our area you used to be able to go to a contra dance on Friday Nights and Sunday nights, and if you were willing to drive to Baltimore, you could also go to one on Saturday nights as well. It’s a pretty popular activity here. The Sunday night dance no longer runs now, thanks COVID. And we also haven’t been for a while, thanks, kids. I don’t think we’ve been since before the 7 year old could walk. Anyhow, the Husband told me about this Thursday night dance and we went, taking all the kids, and we all had such a great time. The music was amazing, the people friendly. There were several people that remembered us from when we used to attend the dance regularly. I laughed, I spun really fast, I moved my feet to the music, I swung my kids around, I made small talk with nice people. It was a really great time.

Blurry screen capture from video the 12 year old took of the Husband and me.

-Good talk with a teacher – One of the kids has been struggling in school so we set up a meeting with the teacher to talk about strategies. I’ve always been a little hands off with my kids’ schools, but this year, I’m realizing that there is a an element of collaboration that is needed – teachers and administrators want to know when kids are struggling, and it’s better to ask the questions rather than assume things will work out. I’ve always felt bad about emailing teachers about issues, and taking their time, but I’m seeing that there is a time and a tone for these communications, especially in the elementary/middle school years. I’m sure high school is a whole different ball game.

-Matching Overalls! We went to Duluth Trading Company on Saturday – the Husband needed some new shirts and pants. I’m doing a casual, no-pressure Buy Nothing month (inspired by Stephany!), so I didn’t buy anything for myself, but I did try on some jeans and they weren’t terrible. I might buy myself a pair in November. I haven’t worn jeans in two years and it’s hard to go back, but they are a really versatile piece of clothing and good for running around backstage. So I will marinate on that. But in the mean time, I couldn’t resist picking up a pair of overalls for the 5 year old. They have a super cute fox print pattern on them. And… the overalls come in adult sizes as well. The 12 year old and I both tried them on together. I was sooooo tempted to buy us all matching overalls, but they are on the pricy side and the 12 year old found a pair of ivory corduroy overalls she liked better, and I decided to resist the temptation and stick to my “no buy” intentions. But look how cute we all are!

-We finally finished watching a TV series! This is very rare for us – we often peter out of energy when watching something together, or if I’m watching something on my own, I am often reluctant to watch the series finale because I don’t want the show to end (I’m looking at you, This is Us). We watched the last episode of Ted Lasso over the weekend. (Though there are rumors of a Season 4…?). The last episode was predictably sentimental and heart-tugging to the point of manipulative, but I kind of loved it. I feel like it’s not “cool” to wear your emotions on your sleeve anymore – there is so much television about people being mean to each other, or being irrevocably lonely, or trying to get ahead, or having terrible things happen, and blood and sex and gore and ironic wise assery. And Ted Lasso’s big hearted optimism is the antidote to that. This last season – sure it was predictable and it seemed like they were box checking plot points, but dammit if there weren’t some genuinely touching moments and I might have been a little teary eyed.

-Bored and Brilliant Challenge. As I mentioned in the last post, I’m trying to work my way through the Bored and Brilliant Challenge – six challenges put together by the podcast New Tech City/ Note to Self in 2015 to help one re-set phone habits. The first challenge was to keep your phone in your pocket (or your bag) when you are in transit. As part of the episode, the host sat on a New York City street and counted how many people walking by were interacting with their phone. Of the 1000 people she counted, 30% of people were interacting with their phones, which actually seems low to me – but the episode was from 2015, so maybe people were less attached to their phones nine years ago? At any rate, one of the main points of this first challenge is how even when you don’t look at your phone, even having it out is a distraction and keeps you from truly connecting – with others, with your surroundings, with yourself.
I’ve been doing this “phone in pocket” challenge, and at the beginning I noticed that I would, out of habit, pull my phone out after work as I walked to my car. This wasn’t great, especially since I often left work late at night when it was dark out. But it was also something that I wasn’t even thinking about. What was interesting to me about this challenge, too, is that one would think that a behavior that requires effort (pulling out one’s phone) comes against more friction than something that requires no effort (leaving the phone in my bag). But that itch to check my phone – the discomfort of being bored – clearly was winning out over the inertia of leaving the phone in my bag. So when I started finding myself reaching for my phone while walking or in the car or wanting to take it with me when I walked down the hall to talk to someone at work, I tried to acknowledge the discomfort of being bored, the urge of wanting to be entertained, and sat with that a little bit. Like seriously, what is so boring about walking to the car that I feel like I need to be looking at my phone? I’m sure there are scientific studies that look at how the brain processes content from the phone vs. other inputs. Maybe this “challenge” will just become a habit.

Challenge #2 is to have a Photo Free Day, where you don’t use your phone yo take any pictures for a whole day. I do like to take pictures to remember things, and capture moments. Will report back on how this challenge goes.

Grateful For:
-Walking trails to school. Twice last week, I drove the 7 year old and his friend to school. The first time, was because we missed the bus, so I drove and parked along the trail that goes to the school and we walked the rest of the way – I kind of loathe sitting in the carpool line and thought this would be nicer. The 7 year old said to me, “It’s nice to start the day with a walk!” So on Friday, I asked if he wanted to walk to school again, and he did, so we once again parked on the trail and walked up to the school. I’m grateful that for living in a pretty urban suburb, there are still lots of ways to walk.

-Being home for dinner. Opera season is starting for me, which means a lot of nights and weekends. I’m grateful when I get the evening off and can be home for dinner. I love family dinners.

-Parks and playgrounds. On Saturday, the 12 year old had a birthday party. It was about 25-30 minutes away from home, and we didn’t think it would be efficient to drop off then return, so we took the opportunity to go grocery shopping and to take the two little kids to a playground. I feel so lucky that there are so many parks and playgrounds in our area. You can often find one (or two or three) within a 10 or 15 minute drive of wherever you are in our part of our county. So if ever we need to kill some time, going to a playground is usually a good solution. I’m also grateful that the kids still like playgrounds.

-Not quite getting rid of my car yet. Our van had to go into the shop and we were down one car for a week, so I ended up driving my 20 year old car while my husband drove the Impreza until the van was fixed. I know we are lucky to have three cars for situations like this – even if one car is 12 years old and the other car is 20 years old. Part of me thinks, maybe we don’t need to get rid of my car – it’s good to have an extra car for instances like this. But it is silly and expensive and hard to justify keeping a third car for emergencies when we live a 10 minute walk to public transportation.

Looking forward to:
-Hallowe’en. I’m not working on Hallowe’en this year, so I get to take the kids trick or treating. The costumes have all been chosen. There were some last minute changes, but I stuck firm that I wasn’t making different Hallowe’en costumes, so any changes had to be able to be sourced/purchased.

-Starting rehearsals. We’ve been prepping for the start of rehearsals. It’s always exciting to learn a new score and wrap my brain around new sets and costumes (well, new to me – the costumes are rented and the set takes parts of previous shows and uses them together). At a certain point, however, I am itching to move from the show being in my head to see how it is going to get up on its feet, to see what the singers and creative team is like, to hear the music sung by real live people.

-Soup Party! I’ve organized a soup party for my department at work. I’m excited – and the weather is just starting to turn chilly enough for soup weather. I think I’ll make Chinese corn soup – it’s easy to put together and very tasty. Not sure if I’ll make it vegan (tofu instead of eggs).

-Just started these two books:

In busy seasons, I try to find books that are fun to read and engagingly written right off the bat, and these two books are that, in very different ways. One is about navigating puberty- it gives the science behind the changes that happen and also gives ideas on how to kids about the changes in a wonderfully non-judgmental way.. The other book is a love story that straddles two eras.

What We Ate:
Monday: Pasta Salad. Made before I went to work in the afternoon. Jenny Rosenstrach’s marinated beans, pasta, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers. Vegan.

Tuesday: Soba and herb salad with roasted eggplants and plums. This was simpler than it sounds, but boy was it tasty. I ate it for leftovers the rest of the week. Vegan.

Wednesday: Leftover pizza from the 5 year old’s birthday party.

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: pizza (take out) and Glee

Saturday: The 12 year old was at a birthday party. The husband and I weren’t terribly hungry after a big lunch, so we didn’t eat, but we did buy the two little kids a sandwich to split from the grocery store.

Sunday: Leftovers for me. Yogurt with berries and honey. Toast (again) – PB&J on English muffins for one kid, melted cheese on English muffins for the other kid. Cut up veggies on the side.

How is your October going so far?

Weekly recap + what we ate: September 2024 aspirations and Declutter-palooza update

First weekend of Declutter-palooza happened!

Here is the Attic BEFORE:

No attic is complete with out a naked Cabbage Patch Doll!

Here is the Attic currently:

Still lots of stuff, but a lot less!

We (I) tried to use the “No Mess Declutter method” which is, honestly one of those things like “time blocking” where I think… well isn’t that just how people do things anyway? (How is “dedicate blocks of time to work on each task” revolutionary? It totally seems like a productivity bro trying to sell something people (women) have been doing for years…) Anyhow the method is – pick up one thing. Decide if it goes in trash, donate, or has another home in the house. If it’s the two former choices, put it in the correct pile. If it’s the last choice, go put it in that better place. Come back. Pick up another object. Rinse. Repeat. I kind of wanted to avoid taking everything out of the attic and then having it take over the house while we dealt with it. So this method seemed to make sense. It wasn’t perfect – there are definitely meandering piles of things around the house that we are still thinking about – but at least you can walk from one end of the attic to another now.

A lot of our stuff just got moved to a better space in the house, but a lot of it legit left the house. I took five bags of clothes to Goodwill, we put a bunch of stuff out for bulk trash pick up, I took the toddler bed, a stroller, and some more clothes to an organization (A Wider Circle) that helps people furnish their homes. They also have started taking baby supplies and clothes, so any clothes smaller than a size 3 went to Wider Circle. I learned that they also take car seats so three of our four car seats are going there next week too.

Things we got rid of that I’m sad about:
-The stroller. We had a fancy stroller – an UppaBaby Vista which we got on super discount because it was the floor model at Buy Buy Baby. The Husband really loved this stroller. It got us through three kids and lasted ten years before the frame broke. It’s been to England. It’s been all over the country. It’s been pushed down stairs. One summer, in the middle of a trip to Dutch Wonderland, the frame just broke. The youngest was almost three at the time and that was when we stopped using strollers.
-The twin mattress. It was a crappy mattress, but I feel like maybe I should have tried to take it to Wider Circle rather than leave it for bulk pick up.
– And I can’t think of anything else really. Maybe a couple items of baby clothes? Of course there are things that we kept for sentimental reasons that we aren’t quite ready to move out of the house yet. But it’s a process, right?

One thing that felt really cathartic to toss:
-breastmilk containers. I had an entire 18 gallon bin full of breastmilk containers and bottles. Why???? I haven’t pumped in three years. I think in my mind I’d find some use for all those teeny tiny bottles. Hah. I put them all in recycling. Bonus: I got an 18 gallon bin back!

Things I’m a little perplexed about, but which will probably just get thrown in the trash:
-The stroller attachments – so we put the broken stroller out on the curbe, but we still have all the attachments – the car seat frame, the rumble seat, the scooter board, the bassinet. Most of the this stuff I scoured craigslist (remember that… does anyone use craigslist anymore?) to get. Only we have a Vista v. 1, which they don’t make anymore so our attachments won’t fit current Vista stroller. I’m going to email UppaBaby and see if there is any way these attachments are still useful. I makes me a little sad to just junk it because the attachments weren’t actually used all that much.
-Baby bottles. What to do with all these? Do they even sell nipples for these anymore? I might put them on Freecycle to see if anyone wants them. Also this process has hammered home to me how much plastic is involved in having a baby.

One thing that was destined for the trash until a child found it:
-my father in law’s briefcase. The 7 year old found it and loves it. He keeps his nerf gun and light saber in it, like some kind of toy mafia gangster or something.

Next stop – the Toy Room….

Picture for accountability

The toy room will definitely be harder because everything in it has some kind of sentimental value for someone. We had thought about doing it without the kids, but I feel like that would some kind of betrayal of the kids’ trust. So we will do it together. Or try.

In other musings – turn of the calendar page to a new month, brings reflection and aspirations.

Side note – I really liked this article about the three types of “ritual days” one should incorporate into their month:
-“Get your ducks in a row” day to take care of life admin tasks
-“Idle Hands” day without any plans or commitments to unplug and rest and refresh.
-“Monthly Recap of the Mind” day to reflect on the last month and plan for anything upcoming. I feel like I take time to do this already, but I could be more mindful about it.
I feel like I have moments of each of those days, sometimes all in one day. But I like the idea of purposefully setting dates for each of those things in the calendar and letting each task take the focus for one day (or even 4-8 hours of one day.)

August highlights:
– Working on a wonderful show. I’m terrible at lying and when people ask me how a show went, sometimes I give a half grin and say, “It was fiiiiiiiine….” And then you know it was kind of a shit show. BUT – people have been asking me about this last show I worked on and I immediately light up and say, “It was great, really, really great.” And I mean it.
– Camping with the two younger kids.
-Solo weekend when I went hiking with a friend and to the Cassatt exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
-meeting up with a friend whom I haven’t seen for five or six years at that Cassatt exhibit.
-First day of School!
-Visit from my mom and my aunt.
-Booking medical check ups and finding out that my uterii are fine.
-Peach Truck and other trips to the farmers market for fresh produce. (note to self – do more of this next summer)

August Low Lights:
-The 4 year old not getting into kindergarten. Made especially tough to swallow by the tuition increase at her daycare.
-Not having time to exercise – I only ran 7 times the whole month.
-hemorrhaging money a little bit for back to school things and activities.

September Aspirations – I realize looking back on August’s list that many of these things were on August’s list as well.
Home/Family Life:
-Declutter-palooza. See above.
– Settle into new patterns for the school year. Try to establish some good habits and routines.
– Get rid of my car. Clearly I’m making no progress on this since it shows up on this list every month. Micro goal – fill our the paperwork to donate the car to the high school trade program.
-Window treatments for the living room. Ditto above. Micro goal: Schedule appointment with the window people.
– Do some planning for a day trip to take while in Kuala Lumpur. (I’m feeling a little like we chose Kuala Lumpur too hastily because the parts of Malaysia that people say are worth visiting are outside of Kuala Lumpur, but with only four days, it might be too much for us to try to arrange to visit those places and get in the relaxing time that we want. But then part of me feels like any foreign country is worth seeing, right? I don’t really understand when people say “such and such place isn’t worth visiting.” It sounds so snobbish. The world is bigger than just the top ten sights, right?)
-Plan the 4 year old’s birthday party. (The Husband actually has booked the place already – I just have to make the invite and plan the food.)
-Make Cheesy bread. When we were visiting my friend in August, she made these really easy gluten-free cheesy buns, which she had learned about on her trip to Brazil. They were delicious. Fall is coming – I want to do more baking!
– make 2 vegan dinners a week.
-Figure out Hallowe’en costumes. October will be super busy for me, so I want to get this settled as soon as possible. So far, the 7 year old wants to wear his Darth Vader costume again and the 4 year old wants to be a fairy. Not sure about the 12 year old. Is 12 too old to go trick or treating?
-Schedule dentist appointments for the kids.
-Hike now that the weather is starting to cool off a little maybe I can convince the family to go for a hike. If not, maybe I can go on my own.
-Ride the Metro! Our metro station has re-opened after being closed all summer.

Me:
– 10 minutes of yoga or strength exercises 5/7 days a week.
– run 3/7 days a week
– Paint and send two cards.
– Blog – goal for 8 posts this month.
– Make time to journal and read in the morning.
-Schedule eye doctor appointment.
-To buy – purse (still), running/sports bras (I currently have three, but I only do laundry every two weeks, so I need more sports bras if I’m to run 3X a week.), a Fall jacket that isn’t my raincoat.
-see my friend K.
-Museum – maybe not this month, but writing it down so I don’t forget – there’s an exhibit on Impressionism at the National Gallery of Art until January. I want to make sure to go see it. There’s also a couple exhibits at the Freer and Sackler Museums (The Smithsonian’s Asian Art Collections) that look interesting too. There’s also a Lego exhibit at the Building Museum that would be fun with the kids.

Work:
-move desks at work.
-put all my contracted work dates into the calendar.
-update the production assistant guidebook.

Amazing Food Combination Discovery:
A little while ago, I wrote about discovering these chocolate quinoa crisps at Costco. Well, last week, I just made them better but spreading peanut butter on them. AMAZING. You’re welcome.

Grateful For:
-Cooler weather. Of course I wrote that then we got a row of 80 degree days. The mornings have been cooler at least. I’m excited for fall weather!

-Co-worker M who retired last week. She’s been at the Opera twice as longa s I’ve been there and has been so inspirational to me. She can be firm and gracious at the same time, and always makes sure that everyone is doing okay. There was a farewell party for her at work last week. I hate saying good-bye to people, but I had to tell her how amazing she has been. And she said the kindest thing to me – “You are proof that if you do consistent good work, you can get to the top of your department.” That almost made me cry. She also said she feels like the stage management department is a lot calmer since I took over. I don’t know that that is my doing, but I was so touched that she said that. I made her a card, because I thought she deserved a bouquet of flowers:

I’m really happy with how that purple ribbon turned out. That dark green Venus fly trap-ish leaf at the top, though… what even is that?

-Free dances and a lovely Sunday afternoon. We took the family to a Barn Dance last weekend at Glen Echo park. These are family friendly dances put on by the same group that organizes contra dances. (The Husband and I met at a contra dance at this same park.) Glen Echo is a former amusement park that is now kind of an arts/theatre/music/social dance venue. The Barn Dance takes place in the former Bumper Car Pavilion and it was free. There was a caller, live music and easy social dances. The kids all danced at least two dances and afterwards we went for a carousel ride ($2/ride or $5 to ride all day – one of the best deals in town!). Afterwards we went for ice cream at a new-to-me creamery. I had a scoop of the Guava ice cream and a scoop of the Old Bay Caramel. They were both really really really good. I was skeptical about the Old Bay Caramel, but if you like spice, savory, and sweet all in one – and I do – this might be right up your alley.

Looking Forward To:

-Public transportation. Like I mentioned above, our metro stop was closed all summer, and it has now re-opened. I’m looking forward to taking it places. I even took it to work once last week.

Signs outside the metro station.

-Getting back to work. I’m feeling a little fractured right now – I’m starting to go to work meetings even though rehearsals don’t start for two weeks, so I know enough to know just how much I don’t know. But I’m looking forward to getting back in the swing of things and setting a more regular schedule.

-Watching this documentary:

It’s been out for a while, but I haven’t gotten a chance to watch it yet, so I’m putting it on the list. Drama and backstage machinations at a Ren Faire!!!! I’m there for it.

What We Ate:
Monday: Grilled Cheese and Apples. This was the day from the last post, when we went to the Renaissance Festival. We got home so late that no one felt like cooking, so we just had something super simple for dinner.

Tuesday: Cheesy Green Chili Bean Bake, from NY Times Cooking. I was looking for a way to used up some poblano peppers I had. This was really tasty. I used black beans instead of pinto because that’s what I had. The 7 year old, when I told him we were having Cheesy beans for dinner opted to make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But then half way through dinner, he said, “I think I’ll try the cheesy beans.” and he did and he said, “These are good! You didn’t tell me they would be good!” Sigh. (I made cornbread to go with it, but it wasn’t done in time so we just ate it with tortillas)

Wednesday – Eggplant and pork stir fry – the Husband cooked.

Thursday: Spiced Chickpea Stew with Coconut and Turmeric, though it’s more of a curry. This was also very tasty and it used a bunch of kale. Would make again. Vegan.

Friday: Pizza (take out – tasty but the restaurant is slow) and Glee.

Saturday: Eggs/Leftovers. This was Declutter-palooza day. I kind of forgot to feed the kids this day -the Husband threw together some eggs for them. Thank goodness.

Sunday: Kale pesto and gnocchi (from frozen) and leftover sausage. This was another day where we didn’t have anything planned but I had a little bit of kale leftover from Thursday’s chickpea stew. I’d never made kale pesto before, and was skeptical that the kids would like it, but they did!

How is your week? What have you thrown out lately? How old is too old for Trick or Treating?


Weekly recap + what we ate: July highlights/August Aspirations, 2024

Prop table. I love me a well-labelled prop table. I did something a little different this time and labelled the prop table by character rather than by object.

I’m enjoying the tail end of another weekend alone. The Husband has again taken the kids away on a road trip, this time to Indiana. They are going to visit friends, go to the Indiana State Fair, visit my in-law’s grave sites, and go to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. Is he an awesome dad or what?

I am at home by myself because I have to work so I couldn’t go along. I’ve had a nice few days, though. Even though the husband is the one who went away, I’m pretty sure I had the more restorative few days. Things I’ve done:

-Dinner with some friends whom I haven’t seen in ages.

– Drove up to Philadelphia to see the Mary Cassatt exhibit at the Philadelphia Art Museum. I had really wanted to see this exhibit, and sort of vaguely thought about going, but never made plans. When I saw the exhibit was closing in September, I was a little sad that I was going to miss it, but then I thought, “Why can’t I go see it?” No reason whatsoever! So I bought tickets and drove up. I think I would have taken the kids if I had had them this weekend, but being able to go by myself felt super indulgent. It was a beautiful exhibit, featuring a variety of Cassatt’s works – paintings, prints, pastels, sketches. I particularly loved seeing the sketches, and getting a sense of Cassatt’s process, how she captures a scene with a certain economy of line, and then whittles the scene down even further to the final painting.

I loved this series of paintings of women reading.

I also took in the Asian art exhibits. How intricate and practical many of the items were. It made me think of how skillfully beautiful every day objects were in centuries past. The amount of craftsmanship that it takes to paint a vase or carve figurines on a column is jaw dropping.

Mythical Guardian Lion
Carved columns from temples in India.

As an added bonus, I met up with a friend in Philadelphia whom I hadn’t seen in seven or eight years. We had both been baby stage managers together, learnin the trade from the same stage manager before going off to our respective careers. It was great to catch up and reflect on where life has taken us and what we’ve learned along the way.

-Watched some feel good rom coms – Finding You (struggling violinist goes to Ireland to find herself, meets cute movie star. Pretty Irish scenery, accents, Irish music, Vanessa Redgrave!) and About Fate (Girl needs a date for her sister’s wedding, coincidences throw a very nice boy in her way). Sweet and predictable and just what I wanted. Though, About Fate really annoyed me because it had the trope of sweet and capable guy meeting failure to launch girl. I get annoyed when protagonists are terrible at adulting. I mean a little bit of struggle is fine, but when they’re just incompetent at being decent humans I just feel uninvested in them getting a happy ending.

-Read. I finished three books and made good progress in two others, including I Capture the Castle for Cool Blogger’s Book Club. I might even get this weeks reading assignment done on time!

-Laundry lots of laundry. I had thought to get some other decluttering projects done, but that didn’t happen. I did purge a bunch of paper, though. The 7 year old insists on keeping every scarp of paper that comes home from school, so I took this opportunity to weed that out a little bit. I’m a little disappointed in myself to not declutter more, but on the other hand, we are at laundry basket zero, which never happens. Just in time for the rest of the family to come back with four days worth of laundry.

-Baked brownies. This recipe. It’s a super fudgy brownie, maybe too fudgy for my tastes. I have to say, my perfect brownie is the Ghirardelli mix from Costco. Maybe I should stop trying to find a perfect “from scratch” brownie recipe and just accept that what I want is the Ghirardelli. I also made peach muffins, since I picked up three boxes of peaches from this weekend’s Peach Truck run, the last of the season.

-Went on a hike with a friend K and her friend W. (I’ve managed to get a hike and a museum in this month after all!). We went on a short hike up to a spectacular view of the Potomac River and sat among rocks and talked about life while birds swooped around us. It’s so nice to talk with people who offer thoughtful conversation. I totally have a girl crush on W now and want to hang out with her again.

View from the top of the hike.
Soaring birds.

Afterwards we went to the nearby cute small town, got refreshing beverages – mine was a Sakura Lychee drink – and had lunch. What a nice ladies’ afternoon.

Fancy drink.

– Had my closing performance on Saturday. How I will miss this show. I like to make a list of the indelible moments of shows that I work on – live performance is so ephemeral and I think it is sometimes easy to let the experience flit away. Yet, I don’t want to take for granted how lucky I am to be part of a creative process, so even while running around backstage and checking props and people, I want to make sure I take time to savor moments, these singular fleeting moments that is live theatre. So here are some from this show:
– The tenor singing to the body of his dead brother, as he cradles it. Breaks my heart every night. Actually everything this singer does.
-The baritone who sings the priest, with his beautiful velvet voice. Wrap me in his voice forever, please.
-The baritone, who always shows me his handkerchief before he goes onstage because he knows I will ask to make sure he has it. (Because it would make for an awkward truce scene if he goes onstage without his white handkerchief)
-The bag pipes. Did I mention there are bagpipes in this show? How awesome is that? Definitely one to savor because how often will I get to hear bagpipes in such close proximity.
-The harp, which is directly behind me for most of the show. The harp part in this show is so delicate yet steady, each pluck of the strings resonates in me.
-The Sleep Chorus, a moment in the first act when the soldiers are singing about how they long for sleep and home. So beautiful it gives me chills every night.
-The percussion, timpani, and brass section, also behind me – those moments where they play so loud that I cover my ears yet still can feel the music through my soles, vibrating the floor.
-The baritone (there are a lot of baritones in this show) who plays the Aide-de-campe – his thoughtful, endearing, funny performance while he juggles a million props, and his ad libs in French. (That section on prop table with the white crate- that’s all him.)
-The insanity of the battle sequence, the backstage traffic of which felt like utter chaos until the third performance, when suddenly, magically, it began to run like clockwork and we could all just pretend that it’s utter chaos.
All in all I loved the past six weeks working on this show – one of the top career highlights, I would say.

Other Fun things this week:
-I make “clean out the produce drawer” muffins. I found this muffin recipe, and it seemed pretty versatile, so I looked in my produce drawer and found lots of languishing produce to put into a muffin. I added – apples, pears (that I had forgotten/didn’t realize we had), two wrinkled beets, a huge pattypan squash that had been given to use by our neighbors, but which confounded me so has been languishing in the produce drawer. I might have also added carrots too, but I can’t keep track. I reduced the sugar and used whole wheat flour. I think they turned out great. They were moist and just the right sweetness. The kids were decidedly lukewarm – no raves, but they did each eat several muffins so they couldn’t have been that bad. It was so satisfying to finally find a use for those two sad wrinkled beets in our produce fridge.

-Going to the park with the 7 year old to read. He didn’t have camp this week since it’s a lighter week for me, and he said he wanted to sit outside and read, so we brought our books to the park and read on a park bench together. He’s reading one of the Wings of Fire graphic novels. I’m reading I Capture the Castle.

-Going shoe shopping and school supply shopping. It was tax-free week in Maryland, so I figured it was a good week to get things done. The 12 year old didn’t have a school supply list, per se. I asked her what school supplies she needed and shed said, “I don’t need school supplies, I just use the Chromebook.” Well that made me a little sad. We bought her a binder and some paper and pencils and folders anyway. And then the two little kids got new shoes. They wanted the exact same shoes as they had last year, so that made for a quick and easy trip to the shoe store!

-Making lemonade. I’ve been craving lemonade lately, so I bought a bag of lemons and the 12 year old and I made mint lemonade base one afternoon. Perfect for drinking mixed with fizzy water. I had so much lemonade base that I stuck some in the blender with some strawberries that were a touch past their prime and poured the result into popsicle molds, making strawberry lemonade popsicles.

-When the kids steal my phone and take group selfies when I’m not looking. I get annoyed that they take my phone, but who can stay irked forever at these faces:

Reflections and Aspirations: I finally had a moment to write down my July reflections and August Aspirations. Why do I always seem to get to this when the month is already half over? Anyhow, here they are:
July 2024 Highlights:
-Writing guest blog posts for Elisabeth and Engie. So flattered to have been asked. Those posts were so fun to write.
-Swim Team Season. Summer Swim Team is exhausting, but I loved watching the 12 year old swim and seeing her have fun being on swim team. Also the 7 year old sort of figuring out how to swim. And taking showers on his own. Those felt like milestones.
– Going skating and duckpin bowling with the family. Small adventures.
-The 12 year old going to NYC with her theatre camp and her end of camp showcase.
– Watching the Olympics.
-Getting a new haircut. Also well woman exam, and mammogram. Still have not scheduled that eye appointment yet.
-Visit from my cousin and her daughter. So good to see them and hang out.

July Lowlights:
-The oppressively hot weather. Ick. So much ick. It made me not want to run or leave the house or do anything.
-The circus that is American politics. I try not to let the news get to me, but July 2024 was a lot and it made me just feel so angry and annoyed.
-Having to manage three drop offs and pick ups since all three kids were at different camps/schools. I felt like our mornings were a constant scramble. The moment we got in the car, someone would always ask, “Are we late?” and the answer was always, “No one is on time until Mom is on time to work.”
-Some hard parenting moments. Makes me want to throw up my hands and give up some days. When does it become less of a struggle to get kids to be responsible humans?

August Aspirations:
LIFE/FAMILY/FUN:
-Start school! Buy school supplies [DONE!], double check if the kids need any new clothes.
-Activity sign ups for the fall. I think I know what these are – pretty much the same as last year, but I just have to spend a few hours at my computer and knock it all out. (I’m really thankful that these things can be done online now. I think when I was a child it all involved postage and physical forms and writing checks. Some activities I still write checks for, though.)
– Planning a trip for the long weekend in September where there is no school. Perhaps. Need to really think about this and book things.
-Plan the Malaysia leg of our Asia trip. This has been on the list for several months now, but I think it really needs to be done this month or next.
-Renaissance Faire!!! Figure out when to go.
-Plan birthday party for 4 year old in September.

HOME:
-Window treatments (Still.) Make an appointment with the company that my friend recommended for them to come out and do a consult.
-Declutter one area. Desk? Sewing corner? Pantry?
-Get rid of my car. (Still.)
-Get the front door painted. Choose a paint colour. Paint colours are hard – I thought I’d make it easy on myself and only give myself two options, but what looks good in the morning always looks meh at night and vice versa. So which do I pick?

On the left – No more Drama. on the right, Morocco Red. Which would you pick for a front door?

ME/SOCIAL/FUN:
– Mom’s group lunch (already planned)
-Seeing my friend K. (Already did this)
-Mom and aunt’s visit. Reminder to myself to not revert to teen bratty-ness with my mom.
– Eye Doctor Appointment.
-Paint more pictures. For the sake of having a concrete goal: paint and send two cards.
-Do the NYTimes 9 minute strength workout at least four times a week.
-recommit to journaling daily.
-buy a new purse. My purse is literally in tatters. I’ve been thinking of this one from Quince, or this Sportsac one? I’ve usually had Sportsac purses, but my last one was a little on the small size, so I could stand to get something a little bigger.

WORK:
-Titles for September vocal recital.
-Update stage management handbook for work. (This can spill over into September)
-Finish/archive paperwork from my summer show.

Some of these will probably rollover to be September Aspirations, though, given that it’s almost the end of August.

Grateful for:
-Cooler weather. The weather has been glorious this week! The muggy humidity has left the air, the heat is not as oppressive as it has been, and there is a breeze in the air.

-Getting to dog sit. Every so often, I think, “Maybe I want a dog.” Then I think, “No, actually I don’t think I can fit that in my life.” So I’m grateful when my friends go out of town and I get to dog sit this cutie for them:

A couple weeks with Max is the perfect amount of time to scratch my dog itch (while I scratch his), and make me realize, that I don’t really want a dog 24/7. But I have been enjoying long walks and doggie snuggles and licks these past few weeks.

-My uterus is fine. Or more specifically my uteri are fine. This week started with an ultrasound that involved squirting water into my uterus to get a better look at things. Fun times. No, not at all – it was deeply uncomfortable. But in the spirit of “let’s all acknowledge how different yet normal everyone’s body is”, I’m reporting it here. So I’d been having really wacked periods – like unending light bleeding for months and then really long (like 3 week long) periods, and then weeks of nothing. At my last well woman visit, my doctor said, let’s check that out. When I was pregnant with my first kid, they thought I had a fibroid that was pushing the fetus and would interfere with a vaginal birth. So I had a c-section with her. (A whole other story – maybe I’ll write it here some day.) Then somewhere along the way they said, you have two uteruses. (I think this was after my second miscarriage after that first kid, it came up when they were trying to figure out why the miscarriages.) Anyhow, we tucked that information somewhere and people seemed generally unconcerned because I got pregnant again. I had two more kids, managed to VBAC them (because the babies seemed like they weren’t going to wait for that scheduled c-section.) Then went on with life and maybe still having a fibroid and two uteri, but not really doing anything about it. So fast forward to a couple weeks ago – odd periods, let’s get that checked out, vaginal ultrasound, squirt with water. Guess what? No fibroid! Yay! Just two perfectly healthy uteri. (And just one cervix. The real term they used bicornuate uterus – it’s pretty normal, though rare.) The inconsistent periods? “Well,” my doctor said, “Your uterus is fine, so it’s just you being in your mid forties. I can put you on hormones or birth control pills if you want to try to regulate your periods more.” I don’t really need another thing to keep track of, so I said, “Thank you, but I’ll just make sure to always travel with a back-up pad in my purse.” So that is the story of my uteri. After years of thinking I had a fibroid that I would have to deal with, it’s a huge relief to know that I don’t. Also grateful for my gynecologist because she is pretty awesome and I hope she never retires.

Looking Forward To:
– More peaches from the peach truck! I got three boxes this time since last time I got two and the kids went through them in four days.

-The last week before school starts. I’m contemplating taking the kids camping this coming week. On the one hand, I haven’t been camping yet this summer and could really use the extended time in nature. On the other hand, it seems a lot to cram into the last week before school starts, and maybe I want a more low-key week. We’ll see.

-Time with friends – I have a visit with a friend planned and also lunch with my mom’s group this coming week. Sometimes I feel like there isn’t a lot of interest from the moms in my mom’s group to get together, but I figure I don’t actually like hanging out in big groups, so even if it’s just one or two people coming to lunch, that feels pretty satisfying and makes it worth asking if anyone wants to gather.

What We Ate – I’m not feeling great about our dinner game these past few weeks. There hasn’t been a lot of meal planning, and I’ve just been eating whatever I can scrounge up or throw together. But at least, I’m eating down the fridge…:
Saturday: Pizza leftovers and Newsies (The proshot of the Broadway musical. Loved the dance numbers, the new musical numbers were pretty meh, though. Not sure if I feel the urge to see this in the theatre.)

Sunday: Pizza leftovers (again.)

Monday: Pork and Eggplant stir fry, eaten with noodles.

Tuesday: Salmon and potatoes, cooked on the grill. On the side we had cut up veggies, and I also made a pico de gallo and a mango salsa to eat with the salmon.

Wednesday: Chicken salad sandwiches

Thursday: The family was gone. I had dinner out with friends. I had a tomato, corn, burrata salad with shrimp and French fries.

Friday: Family still gone. I had congee with kimchi and two fried eggs.

Saturday: I had a late lunch, so I didn’t have dinner. When I got home after my show, I had left over Peruvian chicken with black beans, rice, plantains and the leftover salsa from Tuesday.

How is your August going? Is your summer winding down too?

Weekly Recap + what we ate: Good-bye February 2024!

Spring-ish!

Our last weekend in February was delightfully filled by a visit from my high school friend. She arrived on Saturday mid afternoon and was with us until Monday when I drove her to her hotel where she would be staying for her conference. She’s the only friend from high school that I still keep in touch with, and even though we only see each other every couple of years, we always pick up where we left off. She has children a few years older than mine, and she has such a chill approach to parenting that it’s so soothing talking to her about kids and life and how things turn out. She also used to date my brother so there are things that she just gets about me, even when she doesn’t know the details of my life ant any given moment.

Before my friend came in on Saturday, the 12 year old had a voice lesson, and since the voice lesson was closer to the airport than our house, we decided to have a little adventure in the two hours between voice lesson and my friend’s arrival. (The 12 year old had a hang out with a friend, so she didn’t come along). I remembered that the Gardens at Dumbarton Oaks are free during the winter months, and I had always wanted to visit. It was about 15 minutes from where we were, so we drove down to Georgetown, parked our car, stopped for some coffee, and walked down Wisconsin Ave to Dumbarton Oaks.

So funny story – the only reason I know that Dumbarton Oaks exists is because Igor Stravinsky wrote a chamber symphony called Dumbarton Oaks, which was commissioned by Robert and Mildred Bliss, who used to own the estate. The estate is now a research institute, library, museum, and gardens. Ever since I heard the chamber symphony in college, I’ve wanted to visit Dumbarton Oaks. So finally, twenty plus years later, we went. It’s so funny what random bits of information I know because it has a connection to music.

The gardens were quite extensive and there was lots to see, even though it was still pretty dormant. We played our “Find the Rainbow Colors” game. Though we didn’t really find blue because the sky, which is often our default blue, was pretty grey and cloudy. But there were these cool green-ish blue rocks in the pebble garden, so I took a picture of those. And I can never find indigo…

Red
orang
yellow
green
blue-ish…
purple.

The purple and yellow flowers always remind me of the passage in Braiding Sweetgrass where Robin Wall Kimmerer said she wanted to study botany to know why purple and yellow flowers always look so nice together. Turns out there is a scientific explanation for that – I can’t remember what, to be honest – but it’s always struck me, this idea of wanting to understand beauty.

We wandered the gardens until it was time to go pick up my friend. The rest of the weekend was pretty chill. I loved having a friend visit who didn’t feel the need to be a tourist, so we could hang out and not traipse all over the city. She just tagged along with us on our normal life things and we had great conversations and connections. Looking back, Sunday was a great day – it checked a lot of soul satisfying boxes:
-Connection – hanging out for 48 hours with my friend, including dinner at my favorite hot pot place.
-Exercise – we went skating together while the kids were in lessons. So not super strenuous, but we got our bodies moving for a good two hours.
-Creative – I had to finish my watercolour homework, so in the afternoon, I worked on that while my friend hung out and hemmed her pants. How wonderfully domestic does that sound?
-Outside time – We took the two little kids outside after I was done my homework and watched them while they rode their bikes around the block for an hour. Again, not as active as a hike, but still some quality sunshine and fresh air time.

I think the only box that didn’t get checked was some knocking some big household organization project off my list. But… you can’t do everything and the day overall had a nice leisurely pace. The Husband did do a lot of work in the garden, though, so maybe I can have him check off the “household task” box for us?

March is my last month at a reduced work schedule before I go back into opera mode. I feel like February wasn’t super focused. I was on an 8 hr a week contract at work so I could do some admin and stage management department duties, but I couldn’t get into a good rhythm of when to be at work. I wanted to be available for at least 30-60 mind a day to handle email and tasks, so then the questions became how to spend the other hours a week. I did take the weekends completely off, like didn’t-even-check-email-off, which was really nice. I did periodically have a sense of panic that I was shirking my job responsibilities, but then I had to remind myself that an 8 hour a week contract means I only have to work 8 hours a week. I wasn’t being paid to be constantly available, and there were certainly enough people at work that nothing depended on me alone. I ended up mostly working two three hour days – usually Wednesday and Thursday – and then splitting the other two hours between the other three days, working from home. But even though a three hour day sounds short, it breaks up the entire day in such a way that I felt like unless I was super focused – which I rarely was – I lost a lot of time in commuting and transitioning. I find transitioning between activities is when I loose the most time – it’s when I’m most likely to get distracted, start scrolling and then loose and hour or so. So then little tasks – especially little computer tasks – got dropped because the last thing I wanted to do after being on my computer for 3 hours at the office was to turn on the computer at home and pay the bills and do the kid sign ups, research how to get rid of my car, etc.

This week’s work from watercolor class:
First the homework from last week – the assignment was “sunsets”

Then the lesson was painting poppies. I didn’t love this one – I felt like it was a little un-refined. The lady who sits next to me in class makes such delicate paintings.

Anyhow, February 2024 is now past and we are onto March. I don’t always do a monthly reflection, but I did for February:
February highs:
– Starting water color classes.
-Getting back on my bike.
– Seeing the kids thrive in the activities we had signed them up for. I worried that it was going to be too much, but they truly love what they are doing – except piano, no one really loves to practice, though they say they want to learn to play…
– Hosting Super Bowl Sunday gathering with friends.
– Visit from my high school friend
– joining a women’s Lenten reading group. Having that connection, but also the daily readings, which somehow give me much to ponder even though I’m not Catholic like the others in the group.
-Making baozi. I want more cooking adventures!
-As a family, we made it to a museum, a hike and some gardens in February.
-The wonderful weather. Mostly.
-Watching Galavant with the kids. Only three more episodes to go! What should we watch next???
-The vocal recital that I did titles for. Such a beautiful program, beautifully sung.
-Lunches with the Husband. A good use of my lighter schedule.

February not so highs. (aka lows, but really, life is pretty good, so I don’t feel right calling them “lows” – they’re just life, the tedious, repetitive, papercut stresses of life. Or maybe I need a re-frame. Or more sleep.)
-Tantrums and chore cajoling. Ugh. When will this phase end? Though I ask that and my kids are all at different phases, so…. I guess never? When they move out? Also I realize chore cajoling could also refer to the pep talks I give to myself to stop scrolling and fold the laundry.
-Making little progress on some house chores, losing momentum and focus.
– The first grader and some communication issues with his teacher. Essentially he’s having accidents at school at least once or twice a month, either because his teacher wants him to finish his work first, or the teacher doesn’t realize he’s asking to go. I’m a little stumped by the whole thing. Also frustrated. Also trying to decide if it’s a problem because he doesn’t seem to mind…
-New duties at work that are surprisingly harder than I had thought they would be and not yet knowing how to make things better.
– Not finding/making time to journal and then not remembering or savoring the memories of what I’ve been doing with my days.
-Laundry. So much laundry.

Some aspirations for March:
-TAXES. This is the big one. If I do only one thing in March, it will be to assemble everything for our tax preparer. This is not an aspiration, but a MUST DO!!!!
– Figure out what to do with my car.
-Sort through summer camp sign ups. We registered for some second choice camps, but then first camp choice had slots open up, so I just have to take a minute to look at everything and sort it all out.
-Spring break adventures – getting through them.
-At work – some desk organization. I need to move desks – to the cubicle where the head of the stage management department usually sits, but I’ve been in my desk for over 15 years and I’m partial to it so this is proving psychologically difficult. Kind of like the car. Maybe I don’t need to move desks?
– Organizing a) my sewing corner, and b) the toy room.
– Lunch with my mom’s group.
-maintaining life habits – reading, yoga and exercise, journaling, writing here regularly, making 2 vegan dinners a week.
– sort out my county rec center pass, and actually using it. The County is once again giving all residents free passes to the rec centers this year. I want to get my pass so I can start using the gym and introduce some strength work to my life.
-continuing to find time for lunches with the Husband.
-Listening to more musicals. This is a fun one. I’ve been on a binge lately of those unironic big hearted musicals from the 90s – those musicals that were huge spectacles of stage and emotion. I’m currently obsessed with Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton’s The Scarlet Pimpernel. Up next, I think might be Titanic.
– Going to bed at a decent time. ie. before 11:30pm. Constant struggle.
-make some dentist and doctor appointments.
–maybe get a hair cut. I was realizing as I was writing in my 5 year journal that the last time I got my hair cut was this time last year. What?!?! I think I had a bit of sticker shock last time since my hairdresser had raised his prices. I’ve been with him for over ten years so I don’t know if I have it in me to find a new person. (Like my car and my desk at work….)

Grateful For:
-Sunny, warm weather. There have been some rainy days too, but the weather has been really mild. The hyacinths have come up along our front walk, and when I walk to the front door, their sweet peppery smell reminds me that it is early spring.

-Impulsive playdates and kids who can run free at the park without being watched. The kids had a half day of school on Friday, so I texted the mom of two of the 7 year old’s friends (they’re twins), and asked if they wanted to meet up at a park. They did and she invited two other kids from her bus stop to meet us there. We ended up spending two hours at the park. The kids ran around and did I don’t know what and I got to chat with the other moms. I don’t always find it easy to talk to other parents, but that wasn’t the case this time. We chatted about all sorts of things, and not just our kids, which is always nice.

-My friend at our bus stop who invited me to the Lenten Women’s Group. I think it’s always awkward to invite someone to something new, but especially something that is based in religion. So I’m glad my friend had the courage to ask me to join. It was nice to get out of the house and talk to other moms about their spiritual background and how they try to incorporate it into their lives. I kind of feel like a fraud since I wouldn’t call myself religious – Lent wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. But religion is important to the Husband and two of the three kids are Catholic, so I do want to understand how it makes up the fabric of our life and support that. I also really like thinking about the group readings. The book looks at Lent through the lens of the Seven Deadly Sins. We’ve covered gluttony and lust so far. The readings have made me really think about what it means to have enough and what to do with my energy rather constantly accumulating/wanting more.

-That I don’t have to be in tech. I stopped by the theatre a couple days last week since the show that we’re currently producing, but which I’m not working on, is in tech. I love my job. I love making the magic of theatre and music happen. But once in a while, it’s nice to just sit and watch tech happen and not have the pressure of having to be the one to make it all happen. I find it also good to sit and watch tech from the house sometimes, just to remind myself what it’s like out front. When I’m in tech, I have a headset on and I’m communicating with all the other stage managers and I’m talking to the crew, so I usually know what’s going on. Sometimes, I forget, though, that the people out front don’t necessarily have the same voices in their ear as I do and might not know what is happening backstage. So what to me backstage might seem like a frantic scramble to get, say, a prop ready to come out onstage while the singer onstage waits for it, is, to the people sitting in the house, sometimes… nothing happening. Watching the process without a headset is always a good reminder to make sure that the people without headsets know what is going on. Anyhow, as much as I love my job, I’m grateful that sometimes I don’t have to be part of that stress. (and also jealous because the show is super cute and fun.)

Looking Forward To:
-We booked a trip to Maine/Acadia for this summer. We got a National Parks Pass and I very much want to make sure we use it this year. We’ve had passes the past couple years (including a free one given to all 4th graders when the 12 year old was in 4th grade – it’s a great program!), but I don’t think I use it to it’s full capacity. We go to Great Falls and Shenandoah regularly because those are all close, but I’ve always felt like I want to do more. So this year we are going to Acadia. I’m looking forward to sunsets and hikes and lobster. (I don’t think we’ll be doing sunrise at Cadillac Mountain because of where our airbnb is located, but I think it would have been a hard sell for the kids. Another time…)

-Theatre trips! I have tickets to a couple shows coming up! Yay. The Husband and I are going to see Company, and the dress rehearsal/ Opening night for the next opera (which I’m not working on, so I’ll get to see it! Yay!). And then the local high school is putting on Beauty and the Beast and I think that will be fun to see too. I feel like it’s good to see the professional shows and the high school ones – for a sense of perspective.

-I have a contract for my summer gig and I am SO EXCITED! It’s an opera I worked on six year ago, an opera written in 2017 about the Christmas Eve truce of 1914 during World War I. The opera is just. so. beautiful – in my top 5 opera jobs ever. And it’s very rare one gets to do a contemporary opera more than once, so I’m super thrilled.

-Listening to this audiobook:

I saw this audiobook recommended on the site Five Books, and I really enjoyed Alexis Hall’s book Boyfriend Material, so I thought I’d give this one a try. I’m very much loving it – it’s an amnesia romance novel where the amnesia victim doesn’t really have amnesia. How’s that for flipping a trope on it’s head? Amnesia romances usually aren’t my thing, but this one’s pretty great. And the audiobook is pitch perfect; it’s like an audio version of my favorite British rom com in the vein of Notting Hill or Four Weddings and a Funeral. Fluffy and and warm and hilarious. I’ve laughed out loud so many times.

What We Ate:
Saturday: Chicken Ginger Scallion soup from Deb Perelmans’ Smitten Kitchen Keepers cookbook. This was a super easy soup, and I even make it with frozen chicken, just cooking it a bit longer. Nice pantry type meal. Everyone loved it. We didn’t watch a movie because my friend was visiting, but we did watch and episode of the new season of Bad Batch.

Sunday: We went out to Hot Pot with my friend. Our favorite place with a conveyor belt and a robot that delivers the food for you.

Monday: Chickpeas braised in tomatoes. This was leftover from the week before. I added some water and it was more of a soup than stew, but still tasty. We had it with bread. Vegan.

Tuesday: Beet burgers and tater tots. The beet burgers were this recipe from Post Punk Kitchen. We had beets to use up, so I tried this recipe. The burgers were really tasty, and pretty easy to assemble, though grating the beets did take a while and then because my food processor is small and only does 1.5 cups at a time chopping all the ingredients together took a couple of batches. If you had a bigger capacity food processor then these would be much faster to whip up. I highly recommend this as a veggie burger. The burgers also heat up really well, so I had them for lunches the rest of the week. vegan.

Wednesday: Take out Vietnamese – buns and noodle bowls. We had an afterschool playdate with a friend and her father brought dinner over afterwards. Tasty.

Thursday: Pork and tofu stir fry with udon noodles. The Husband cooked.

Friday: Pizza and Galavant.

Low Key Weekend – why am I still tired?

The second pie is in the oven, so what am I to do while I wait, but send some hodge podge thoughts out into the world.

Also – I just checked the pie and 1) The edge of the crust is doing some kind of sad droopy thing – I had too much overhang and rather than trim it off, I thought I’d just leave it because really the crust is the best part, so why not have more. I had fluted the excess edge, but I think there was too much excess and it has kind of drooped like Dali’s clocks. It does not look good. But it will be tasty. and 2) I tried to peek to see if the rest of the crust was baking since soggy crust has been an issue of mine lately. And I thought, “That’s strange… why is the crust still so pale? It’s very white for having been in the oven for twenty minutes” And I panicked a little bit. But then I remembered that I didn’t use the clear Pyrex pie plate, but the white pie plate and all that white I was seeing was just the pie plate. So who knows if the pie crust is baking in there. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow/ today.

Anyhow, it’s been a really packed week so far. The two older kids have had very minimal school this week. Monday and Tuesday half days and today (Wednesday) completely off. Then of course tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Friday is off.

I think we all realize that the holidays are coming and we try to pack so much into the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so we kept things low key last weekend. There was house puttering on Saturday, then dinner out with friends. We went to the same brewery that I had gone to earlier that week with my Mom’s Group. I don’t drink, but the brewery has firepits, so that was a plus. There were only two other groups sitting outside, which made me feel less awful about our combined six kids running around the patio.

Sunday the three year old had two birthday parties to go to, both of them outdoors in 40 degree weather. One party had chicken fingers, French fries, and mac and cheese, which I thought was brilliant for a toddler party. It was probably on the cold side to be having an outdoor party, but I figured at least it would be an opportunity to to check more boxes off my 1000 Hours Outside goal. Two birthday parties in one day might not seem low key, but they were both park parties nearby, so they were pretty easy to get to.

Then there is the issue of sleep. Or rather being tired. I’ve been feeling pretty tired lately even though I’ve been getting 6-7 hours of sleep a night. Thoughts on this:

– Maybe I’m still catching up from daylights savings having ended? And the shorter spans of sunlight certainly don’t help my lethargy.

– It’s not because I’m staying up til 2am or 3am like I tend to when I’m working. I’ve actually been really good about mindfully going to bed, as opposed to falling asleep on the couch and stumbling to my room at 3am. So yay me.

-It is partly because the three year old is not proving to be a great sleeper. I mean she sleeps like a rock for three hours at a time – you can roll her over without waking her when she is asleep. But inevitably at some point between 1am and 3am, she gets out of bed and comes to our room and climbs into our bed. Then it’s an internal battle of whether I should take her back to her own bed and spend another half an hour getting her to sleep, or if I should just give up and let her sleep in my bed. Usually the latter wins out. But she also will be up sometime around 5am yelling for breakfast. Or Milk. Full confession, the three year old still nurses to sleep. Which I have mixed feelings about, but also some degree of apathy because it seems like my feelings on the matter do not even compare to her feelings.

-Also, related to the not going to bed late … part of going to bed early is that I get up earlier. And when I’m awake earlier, I then get tired earlier and then fall asleep earlier. It’s kind of a viscous cycle. I do like the idea of being a morning person, but I can’t really be a morning lark and a night owl.

– There is a possibility that I’m coming down with something. I did have a cold sore this week that was so painful I woke up a few times. I get cold sores maybe once or twice a year – usually a combination of hormones, weather, and stress makes them appear. But they’ve always been mild. This time was pretty painful. And there’s general nasal congestion and everyone else is getting sick – we seem to be in a perpetual state of snot and cough. Makes these next five days with no school or work seem like an ideal time to attempt to keep ourselves germ free.

Two months ago I wrote about my attempts to get more sleep, which is admittedly not the same issue exactly as just feeling run down and tired. But revisiting those ideas – Some of the goals I’ve managed to do – I now brush my teeth and get into pjs when the kids do. I got a lamp for next to my bed so I’m reading more hard copy books before bed, though the occasional e-book does make it too. So now it is much easier to stumble straight into bed at 9pm after the baby falls asleep.

I have not established any kind of bedtime routine – mostly because of having to lie down with the baby until she falls asleep. So my ideal evening wind down of 20 mins yoga, 20 mins journaling and 20 mins reading hasn’t come to fruition. I have been doing 10-15 minutes of yoga in the morning, so at least I’m stretching that way. Maybe I should concentrate on 20 mins journaling and 20 mins reading in the evening.

Welp the pie is done (I hope) and I can hear the baby crying. So off to tend to that.