The second pie is in the oven, so what am I to do while I wait, but send some hodge podge thoughts out into the world.
Also – I just checked the pie and 1) The edge of the crust is doing some kind of sad droopy thing – I had too much overhang and rather than trim it off, I thought I’d just leave it because really the crust is the best part, so why not have more. I had fluted the excess edge, but I think there was too much excess and it has kind of drooped like Dali’s clocks. It does not look good. But it will be tasty. and 2) I tried to peek to see if the rest of the crust was baking since soggy crust has been an issue of mine lately. And I thought, “That’s strange… why is the crust still so pale? It’s very white for having been in the oven for twenty minutes” And I panicked a little bit. But then I remembered that I didn’t use the clear Pyrex pie plate, but the white pie plate and all that white I was seeing was just the pie plate. So who knows if the pie crust is baking in there. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow/ today.
Anyhow, it’s been a really packed week so far. The two older kids have had very minimal school this week. Monday and Tuesday half days and today (Wednesday) completely off. Then of course tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Friday is off.
I think we all realize that the holidays are coming and we try to pack so much into the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so we kept things low key last weekend. There was house puttering on Saturday, then dinner out with friends. We went to the same brewery that I had gone to earlier that week with my Mom’s Group. I don’t drink, but the brewery has firepits, so that was a plus. There were only two other groups sitting outside, which made me feel less awful about our combined six kids running around the patio.
Sunday the three year old had two birthday parties to go to, both of them outdoors in 40 degree weather. One party had chicken fingers, French fries, and mac and cheese, which I thought was brilliant for a toddler party. It was probably on the cold side to be having an outdoor party, but I figured at least it would be an opportunity to to check more boxes off my 1000 Hours Outside goal. Two birthday parties in one day might not seem low key, but they were both park parties nearby, so they were pretty easy to get to.
Then there is the issue of sleep. Or rather being tired. I’ve been feeling pretty tired lately even though I’ve been getting 6-7 hours of sleep a night. Thoughts on this:
– Maybe I’m still catching up from daylights savings having ended? And the shorter spans of sunlight certainly don’t help my lethargy.
– It’s not because I’m staying up til 2am or 3am like I tend to when I’m working. I’ve actually been really good about mindfully going to bed, as opposed to falling asleep on the couch and stumbling to my room at 3am. So yay me.
-It is partly because the three year old is not proving to be a great sleeper. I mean she sleeps like a rock for three hours at a time – you can roll her over without waking her when she is asleep. But inevitably at some point between 1am and 3am, she gets out of bed and comes to our room and climbs into our bed. Then it’s an internal battle of whether I should take her back to her own bed and spend another half an hour getting her to sleep, or if I should just give up and let her sleep in my bed. Usually the latter wins out. But she also will be up sometime around 5am yelling for breakfast. Or Milk. Full confession, the three year old still nurses to sleep. Which I have mixed feelings about, but also some degree of apathy because it seems like my feelings on the matter do not even compare to her feelings.
-Also, related to the not going to bed late … part of going to bed early is that I get up earlier. And when I’m awake earlier, I then get tired earlier and then fall asleep earlier. It’s kind of a viscous cycle. I do like the idea of being a morning person, but I can’t really be a morning lark and a night owl.
– There is a possibility that I’m coming down with something. I did have a cold sore this week that was so painful I woke up a few times. I get cold sores maybe once or twice a year – usually a combination of hormones, weather, and stress makes them appear. But they’ve always been mild. This time was pretty painful. And there’s general nasal congestion and everyone else is getting sick – we seem to be in a perpetual state of snot and cough. Makes these next five days with no school or work seem like an ideal time to attempt to keep ourselves germ free.
Two months ago I wrote about my attempts to get more sleep, which is admittedly not the same issue exactly as just feeling run down and tired. But revisiting those ideas – Some of the goals I’ve managed to do – I now brush my teeth and get into pjs when the kids do. I got a lamp for next to my bed so I’m reading more hard copy books before bed, though the occasional e-book does make it too. So now it is much easier to stumble straight into bed at 9pm after the baby falls asleep.
I have not established any kind of bedtime routine – mostly because of having to lie down with the baby until she falls asleep. So my ideal evening wind down of 20 mins yoga, 20 mins journaling and 20 mins reading hasn’t come to fruition. I have been doing 10-15 minutes of yoga in the morning, so at least I’m stretching that way. Maybe I should concentrate on 20 mins journaling and 20 mins reading in the evening.
Welp the pie is done (I hope) and I can hear the baby crying. So off to tend to that.
We didn’t have huge plans for the weekend, but it still felt pretty full. I did not order a new planner, but I did do pretty much everything else on my aspirations list.
Saturday morning I took the two girls to Drag Queen Story Hour at the local Botanical Gardens. The Drag Queen reading the books was D’Amanda Martini and she read a couple books about Fall and Thanksgiving and Holidays. At one point, one little girl said, “You don’t dress up for Thanksgiving – you dress up for Halloween!” and D’Amanda Martini says, “That’s very true. Although, I like to get dressed up all of the time!”
The past few times the Gardens hosted Drag Queen Story Hour, there were people protesting against Drag Queens and holding up signs that had all sorts of hateful, fear-mongering messages. This time there were just four or five people holding up banners and praying on one side of the parking lot. The people with the anti-LGBTQ signs were vastly outnumbered by the crowds of supporters with rainbow flags and umbrellas that lined the other side of the parking lot, cheering and offering people who chose to attend story time an escort to their car. I found the whole thing flabbergasting and kind of sad, to be honest. I think it’s wonderful to have the courage of one’s convictions, but at the same time I think there is something very very misinformed about the people who would give up their Saturday morning to protest a child friendly, inclusive event.
That afternoon, we went to a birthday party at a bowling alley for a child in the 5 year old’s class. I hadn’t been bowling in years, and this reminded me of how I always found bowling a fun social activity. Years ago, the best/cheapest place to go bowling was on a nearby military base. You had to show ID and they would inspect your car in order to get past the gate, but it was something like $3/ game and $3 for shoes. This weekend’s bowling party was at a super fancy bowling place with a bar (obviously not for the 6 year olds), and waiters and a roof top terrace. I commented to the Husband that I wouldn’t mind having a bowling party for my birthday this year. I hate celebrating my birthday, but I do love doing fun things with friends.
I stayed for half the bowling party, then the Husband came and relieved me at the birthday party, and I zipped down to work. I was a little stressed because I was running late to work; it probably would have been best if I had just had the Husband bring the five year old to the party from the start, but he had to bring the three year old, and I was a little unsure of the etiquette of showing up to a party with an additional sibling. Turns out it would have been fine, but I feel like I’m never quite sure how to navigate these things.
It was the last performance of our show – always a bittersweet day. Though in these COVID times, I feel like it’s just a relief to get through the run without any COVID cancellations. We were still testing twice a week and masking backstage, so caution abounds.
I also think it’s fun to track my movement for each show I do: Length of show: 100 mins. Number of steps taken on average for each show: 2083 Number of flights of stairs each night: 4 So not a super active show, but does involve a fair bit of stair climbing.
I also have a post show ritual where I write down all the things that I want to remember about a show. I find that the rehearsal and tech process are so mind consuming that I don’t always have time to enjoy what we are putting onstage. Usually by opening, things have fallen into a routine and I try to find those moments that will stay with me. I once asked an Assistant Director friend of mine if she ever got tired of watching the same show every night. She said that sometimes yes, but then she really forces herself to watch mindfully and intensely and learned to concentrate her attention on things that she might have missed before – like a certain musical passage or the way a singer might move while singing a certain line. So when I get to a point in a show when I don’t feel busy, I try to really watch and listen to what is happening onstage and savor that moment because either it will never happen again, or the singer will do it exactly the same way every single night – and I think both things – the once in a life time, and the consistently repetitive – are fascinating to me.
Sunday was a morning at home to tackle yardwork and house puttering. I did get a little run in. The Husband cleaned up the yard and I picked up around the house. We finally tackled a project that I had been putting off, but which I knew I had to do – the kids and I dismantled the 10 year olds’ iPod Halloween costume, and we also took apart our carboard UPS Truck. Two years ago we got a new stove and we asked the delivery people to leave us the box. The box eventually became, at the then three year old’s request, a UPS Truck. (I wrote a post about our cardboard creations here.)
Well, after two years and repeated patching, the UPS truck was on its last legs. The kids still loved sitting in it, and it is their favorite hideout, but some weeks, it seemed to mostly be used as a catchall for clutter in the living room. The sliding door no longer slid, the rear door had fallen off, as had the steering wheel. If you had told me in Fall of 2020 that this cardboard box would still be in our living room two years later, I would not have believed you. Indeed, the Husband, whenever I bring something large and disposable into the house always asks, “How long is that going to be in our lives?”
“Not too long,” I always say vaguely. I think to myself, “There’s no way that this huge chunk of cardboard is going to last.” And here we are two years later.
But Christmas is coming and we have to make room for the Christmas tree, so this past weekend, I faced the inevitable and agreed to dismantle the box and begin the process of sending it to recycling. The kids were a little sad to have their living room play space taken down, but then I gave them the screwdriver to take out all the Makedo cardboard screws and they eagerly jumped on that assignment. The ten year old needed a large piece of cardboard for a school project so her eyes lit up at the prospect of taking part of the UPS truck. I’m sad the UPS truck is gone … it certainly took me a while to get to a point where I felt okay letting go of it. Part of me feels silly to be so attached to something that I always knew would not be permanent. But there are a lot of memories wrapped up in the box, particularly from early in the pandemic – which was such an insular and resourceful time. I have to remember the legacy of the box is not the physical thing, but the memories we have of it and the knowledge that we could have great adventures with something that otherwise would be meant for the trash.
Dismantling memories
Throwback to the Glory Days of the UPS Truck…
The baby – what a little things she was! – trying to work the trunk of the UPS truck.
So after tackling those house projects, I insisted that we get some fresh air by going for a hike. I dragged the family on a one hour drive up county on a hunt for one of the Selfie Stands that the County Parks Department has set up. This Selfie Stand was a view overlooking the Potomac; this far upstream the Potomac is quiet and wide, very different from Great Falls. I will say, it wasn’t the most picturesque spot – this part of the county is perhaps a little neglected. Maybe it’s nicer in the summer? At any rate, I always do love seeing the Potomac, and we managed to find the selfie stand and snap a poorly lit family picture. Ultimately, though, it was very cold and we didn’t last long, maybe just thirty minutes. We took our selfie then tromped back to the parking lot and got back in the car.
All of us!
On the way home we stopped by a local brewery, one of those places on acres and acres of land with tents and string lights and tables made from old sewing machine legs and things like “Ricotta Toast” on the menu. Which was tasty, by the way. Craft breweries on farms seem to be a very popular thing in our County. If it hadn’t been so cold, it would have been a wonderful spacious place to hang out and have a beer with the kids. Not that the kids drink beer. The Husband drinks beer. The rest of us watch and eat foot and maybe drink a soda. We ordered burgers and sandwiches and shrimp and enjoyed the pink sky and golden light of sunset while plotting fun holiday aspirations and making our Christmas movie list (more on that later!). And then it was suddenly dark and we felt the need to go home, but of course it was only 5:30pm. Splendid, I thought! We can have half an hour of tidying the living room and then watch two episodes of Golden Girls.
Waiting for his food.
Evening sky.
Of course there was great reluctance to clean so it ended up being one hour of cleaning and one episode of Golden Girls, but that was still a fine way to cap off a Sunday night.
The Husband went out of town on Saturday for a friend’s birthday party, which I was so excited about because he never takes time for himself and he has been on solo parent duty for most of the past eight weeks. So I had an entire day with the kids to myself. The plan was to keep us out of the house as much as possible.
So on Saturday, we: – Got bathing suits and kickboards. I’ve been trying to order bathing suits off Amazon for the ten year old, but none of them have fit and it’s been a frustrating, unending process. Then one day I noticed that there is a small swimwear store located near us so on Saturday, we popped in. She tried on a bunch of bathing suits and found two that fit. Hooray! I also bought kick boards (we called these flutter boards when I was growing up) for the two little kids. I’m so glad I found this store – every summer we try to buy goggles at the big chain sporting good store, but they are always out of the right size. Next summer I’m just going to come to our small local swim store.
– Then we went to a park and met up with some friends for food trucks, music, and beer. The kids played in the playground while I got to catch up with the grown ups.
three kids on a tire swing
– Then we hopped on the Metro and went to the Building Museum for The Big Build Day. Big Build day is kind of an open house where the Museum is free for the day and they have all sorts of building related activities for kids. The place was kind of a zoo and very crowded, but we got to do some fun things like sit in big trucks and use power tools.
– Then we Metroed back to our car, came home and had snack dinner while watching The Thundermans. Well, the kids watched The Thundermans while I read my book, which made for a very pleasant evening.
Then the kids went to bed and I stayed up late to clean while watching Miss Fisher’s Modern Murder Mysteries, which I’m finding fun, but not as good as the original series. I had thought to go to bed early to take advantage of the end of Daylight Savings, but … bedtime is still my nemesis and I stayed up several hours past midnight. I did set all the clocks back before I went to bed, so I would have the illusion of getting up earlier.
This morning started off with the baby crawling into bed to cuddle, then around 5am, she starts yelling at me, “Breakfast! Breakfast! Breakfast!!!!” She clearly did not understand the idea of falling back an hour. I turned over in bed and she eventually got out of bed and left the room. I’m not sure what happened next with the kids, but when I woke up two hours later, the kids were in the basement watching High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. As annoyed as I was that they were watching TV without permission, I guess I should be glad that they were quiet and occupied and didn’t burn the house down while I slept.
Anyhow I got up, we got on with our morning, and even managed an hour of cleaning the toy room before I had to go to work. Getting the toy room cleaned was a minor miracle. I had been starting to stress out about how messy the house was – hence the post midnight cleaning session last night. Previous attempts this weekend to get the kids to clean involved yelling, foot stomping and much exasperation in the face of their apathy towards the state of the house. Eventually I left it and this morning I decided to try again. After much infuriating resistance, I took a breath and asked the five year old why he didn’t like picking up and he says, “Because it is boring.”
Well he’s not wrong there. I always entice myself to clean by watching something while I did it; I only let myself watch Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries while cleaning. So I said to the kids, “What if I let you listen to some favorite music while you clean?” This was eagerly accepted. So I put on some Hamilton and then some Taylor Swift and we set the toy room in order. Music while cleaning is not a new or novel concept in our house, but I always forget that it’s a great inducement. Part of me thinks, “They should just pick up because I’m asking them!” That’s hardly fair to them, though. If I can’t expect myself to clean up without some music or tv show, I can hardly expect them to.
In the end, the kids did not all clean equally – the ten year old did more than her fair share, but everyone did something. It wasn’t painless, but it got done. I do feel as if we have too many toys and bits and bobs, but I don’t know where to even begin the process of weeding it all down. Part of the issue is, even if the oldest kid has outgrown something, I feel like I have to hold on to it for the sake of the little ones. I need to figure out how to cull the toy room before Christmas, though.
So we cleaned then the sitter came, I took the ten year old to swim clinic and went to work. After work, I did a grocery run for tomorrow’s camping trip then came home and the Husband had returned from his trip to New York, bearing the fattest, doughiest, bagels I had ever seen. And the Giant was out of Philadelphia cream cheese, which is a minor annoyance, but seemed large in the moment. So we had an evening as a family – one of those noisy evenings where we are all exhausted, but the kids chatter endlessly and jump all over us, but being inert on the couch is a perfectly fine response. I still haven’t made campsite reservations or pulled out the camping gear, but I think it will be fine. I looked at the website and there are still lots of camp sites open. I’ll push publish then go finish packing before I turn in for the night. It feels like a lot of work for one night of camping, but this might be the last warm spell for a while and there is still a bit of fall colour to enjoy, so while I waffled on whether or not to go camping, I think we will have a good time.
So all in all a good weekend – twenty four hours solo with the kids. The house was kind of a sty, but we managed to ameliorate that somewhat. I have decided that these one off days when I’m solo parenting, the goals are: sleep, food, family harmony, and fun. Cleaning the house is clearly not a priority.
The Husband and the kids left on Friday and came back Monday night. Since I was working Monday night, that meant four whole days child free for me. Wow. I don’t think I’ve had that much child-free time since the days when I used to travel for work. Anyhow, it was a really relaxing and quiet four days. I slept late, had breakfast out on the back patio, wore my pajamas all day practically, spent too much time scrolling idly… I did work all day Friday, had Saturday off, then worked Sunday evening and Monday afternoon and evening/night. And in between – I think I did pretty well on my aspirations:
– Wash my bras. Done! and they fit much better now. But I still do need new bras… I should look into if the company that makes these favorite nursing bras also make a non-nursing option. – Pick up the house. Done! Mostly. and, it was infinitely less stressful for me to do it by myself than to monitor while my kids did it. I just put on a podcast or streamed some This is Us and tidied. It almost felt like enjoyable puttering rather than manic cleaning because it felt so relaxed. – a yoga or a gentle strength workout video. Yes. Thank you Fitness Blender! – ten year old’s Halloween costume. Perpetual October task. Still not done. This need serious attention.Halloween is in less than a week!!!! –put oil in my car. Done! This took all of five minutes, but I hate doing it while the car is still warm from driving, and I never remember to do it until I’m actually driving my car. One of those super simple things that needs to be put on a to do list in order to get done. -sleepover with my friend. Yes! Such a wonderful cozy time. more on that below. -Hike and picnic with sleepover friend. Yes! –Work Sunday Night. Yes! Couldn’t very well not show up for that one. Our first rehearsal onstage with orchestra… Man oh man, this current show is LOUD. It’s German so lots of loud brassy music and loud consonant filled singing. But the sheer wall of sound is amazing. Sometimes I love my job. Getting blasted by an orchestra of sound is one of those times. –random internet chores – bills, activity sign ups, still on the quest for black shoes ish. Activity sign up. Still no shoes. Need to remember to pay the bills this week. Apparently I forgot to pay the gas bill last month. Ugh.
Breakfast on the patio.
My friend from college came over Saturday night and we went to see the movie Tar. (There’s an accent in there somewhere, but I haven’t figured out how to do that…). It’s about a conductor (Female. Interesting that I feel the need to mention that, but it is kind of an important take) whose career starts to unravel because of hubris and allegations of sexual harassment (those things are definitely related). The trailer is seriously misleading and makes the movie seem like some kind of horror/thriller movie. As we sat down, my friend, who is a huge classical music nerd, said to me, “I hope this movie isn’t like the trailer.” It wasn’t. The film was more of a provocative character study about the idea of power dynamics and the person we present to the world. It’s a little grim and dark, but there were funny moments and definitely a lot of juicy classical music world details
And I had popcorn and a Cherry Coke. I fully recognize that concessions at the movies are over-priced, but for me popcorn and soda is just part of the experience, so I will usually indulge.
There is one moment early on when Blanchett’s character talks about how a conductor is someone who controls time – they start the music, they stop the music, then they re-start it. It’s a powerful thought. But then a voice inside me said, “Yes, but even the conductor music acquiesce to the stage manager when time runs out and the rehearsal is over…” So there’s that.
Anyhow – a good film. Dark in places. Darkly funny in others. Great performances. And how awesome to see the backstage of the classical music world.
The next day my friend and I went hiking at Great Falls, on a trail that is called Billy Goat Trail. Specifically it’s Billy Goat Trail A. There is also B and C, and A is the most challenging. I had contemplated bringing the kids on this trail, but I had heard that it wasn’t recommended for really little kids, so I wanted to check it out myself. It was indeed a little difficult in places – the terrain is really rocky and follows along the Potomac river, and while I have no doubt the kids could handle it, some of the rocky terrain was really close the the edge of a drop off down to the River and I would be afraid of someone falling. I’m thinking I might wait until next spring to tackle it with the kids.
It was a gorgeous hike, and there was lots of fall colour to be seen:
see the rock climbers on the opposite side of the river!
We packed lunches which we ate perched high above the Potomac River. There’s something so nice about eating outside. I brought soy eggs (boiled eggs marinated in soy sauce and tea), hummus, guacamole, veggies, apple slices, and string cheese:
This was the toughest part of the climb – a fairly vertical stretch of cliff wall:
This is why it’s called the Billy Goat Trail.
Also loved seeing this heart in nature:
heart rock.
The hike took about two hours, though we went slow and stopped frequently to savor the views and have a snack. It also isn’t a very shady hike, so I think it’s best suited for fall or spring. I’m glad I went – it’s probably the area’s most famous hike, and I had never been. I feel so lucky that this National Park is less than thirty minutes away from me!
More beautiful fall nature pictures of the views along the way:
And my friend took this picture of me along one of the cliff edges. I often shy away from having pictures taken of myself, but I think it’s nice to have pictures once in a while to acknowledge where I’ve been and my very existence.
So a good combination of fun/personal/life admin tasks – which I think is important for me to feel like I’m using my “me” time well. If I had done all fun things, I would have felt the household tasks looming and then felt guilty and anxious for not getting it done. (I do feel a little anxious about the Hallowe’en costume, but I know it will get done.) And conversely, if I had only done the house tasks, I would have felt like I didn’t get to fill up my personal soul bucket. Also – getting to sleep in without anyone crawling into bed with me and demanding “Milk!!!!!” was glorious. I don’t love being in the house by myself, but I do resent when kids are constantly in my space. It’s a fine line.
My go-to Boba order – Oolong milk tea, no sugar, regular ice, half boba, half lychee jelly. Bliss.
This weekend started with a rough night of sleep -the highlight of which was a three year old getting into bed with me and taking her “not poopy” diaper off in bed around 3am. And of course, the diaper was indeed poopy. So was her bottom. I suppose a bleary eyed 3am diaper change these days is a good, almost nostalgic, reminder of those newborn days. Then there was the 5am insistence that she wanted breakfast. And even though I could hear the Husband awake and moving around in the kitchen, the three year old insisted that it had be be “Mommy breakfast, not daddy breakfast!” All my good intentions for better sleep hygiene are being sabotaged by a pint sized toddler.
The rest of the weekend felt very indulgent. We went to try out a new Hot Pot place for Saturday dinner. We haven’t been to Hot Pot since before the pandemic, and I feel like going to Hot Pot is kind of a barometer of our comfort level with COVID times. (For those who haven’t been – hot pot is an Asian dining format where you get a pot with a pot of broth over a burner at your table – either individual pots or one pot for the table – and the diners add meats and sea food, and veggies and noodles to their own preference. It is a great social meal and usually takes a couple hours to really do it right.) Not quite sure if Hot Pot is a rational barometer or not, to be honest. We didn’t go to one of those places with a conveyor belt that brought your food, but rather our Hot Pot foods were brought by waiters after we ordered it via iPad, so it wasn’t like other people in the restaurant were breathing on it. There was also a charming robot that delivered boba tea, though we didn’t get to try that out because it seemed to get stuck a lot. We just went to the tea shop next to the restaurant and got boba after dinner. Then there was a band playing out on the plaza outside the restaurant so we hung out and drank our boba and listened to music for a little bit while the kids ran around on the grass. We probably over did it a little as the three year old vomited on the sidewalk at one point. “Don’t step in my vomit!” she yelled to us cheerily afterwards. So I guess she was okay.
hot pot spreadSisters and noodles
Sunday, the eating tour continued because we decided to go to the Taiwanese breakfast place. Taiwanese breakfast features bowls of steaming soy milk – either sweetened with sugar, or savory with scallions and sesame oil – which we eat with large sticks of fried dough (“yo tiao”). Along with that we have scallion pancakes, dumplings, noodles, seaweed salads, edamame and mustard green salad, “dan bing” (egg pancakes)… So much food, but all of it is super tasty and comforting. And afterwards, because there was a tea shop just next door, I had my second boba tea of the weekend. Boba is definitely a treat for me and to have it twice in one weekend was extra special. The tea shop next to Taiwanese breakfast also happens to serve Taiwanese shaved ice which is softer and fluffier than the Western version, and is topped with different jellies and red bean and fruit. My dad had been wondering if there was a shaved ice place in our area, so I was glad to have found this place and have mentally bookmarked it for later.
After breakfast and boba, we went to buy new shoes and boots for the kids. Our favorite shoe place has a policy that if you buy snow boots in September or October, if it doesn’t snow more than an inch all winter, they will take the shoes back in April. It is definitely pricier to buy shoes at Shoe Train, but the service is really great. The shocker this time around is that the ten year old now wears the same size shoe as me! I wasn’t ready for that yet…
Once everyone had new shoes, I took the two little kids to the park since the weather was beautiful and I wanted to spend some time outside. Then in the evening, we went over to a friend’s house for dinner. We got take out Chipotle and pizza and just sat around and talked all evening. I also baked a pie. The Husband had been wanting to make a pie with some of the apples he had gotten from the market a few weeks ago, so I was determined to make it happen, but then forgot we were hanging out with friends that night. So I asked if we could bake the pie at their place and they said sure! I made the filling and dough at home – the kids helped – and then assembled the pie and baked it in my friend’s oven and we had pie for dessert.
Helping peel and slice the apples
So it felt like a very full weekend. I did not get to the ten year old’s Halloween costume, so I need to make that a priority for the next few weeks, for sure.
Other fun/ interesting/ thought-provoking things from last week:
-Monday was Indigenous People Day, but the kids still had school. Traditionally this day is an open house at school for the parents to come an observe the classroom. My dad has been in town visiting, so he came with. Having two kids in two different schools meant a bit of travel to see both kids’ classes, but the open house was all morning and we ended up spending forty-five minutes at each school.
I was interested to see the five year old’s French Immersion class, and I was impressed that it was truly full immersion. Even still, the kids all managed to behave and learn and follow directions. The teacher repeated herself a lot and did a lot of pointing and demonstrating. It’s only been two months of school, and the five year old can already count to ten in French, do some basic math, and he can introduce himself. He also used random French words at home – things like “sac à dos” (backpack) and “poubelle” (trash can). It kind of takes me back to when I learned French in elementary school. When I was I was growing up in Ontario, in my school district, everyone started learning French in Grade Three.
We then went to the five year old’s class where all the students were really well behaved and quiet. Not that these attributes should be the pinnacle of student behavior, but rather everyone seemed really engaged. The ten year old did say afterwards that people were on really good behaviour and sometimes the teacher has to ask more than once for students to do things.
-This week, I had a supertitle gig for a Vocal Recital. I procrastinated a little on getting the titles done so the morning of the concert, after the open houses, I went to a cafe and worked for several hours. Being able to sit and sip my chai and work seemed so indulgent. The concert itself was lovely. There was an interesting set of songs by Franz Liszt that I was unfamiliar with, but which were dramatic and sweeping and made me wonder what it would have been like if Liszt wrote an opera. And the nicest thing, is on my dinner break, I went to the Roof Terrace of the building and the sky was beautiful and the golden light bathed the Washington Monument in pink light.
Dinner time roof top stroll.
-Something that made me think this week: This podcast episode from the Puberty Podcast titled “How To Parent without Judgement”. I listened to this episode at a good time this week – it had come to my attention that that the ten year old feels like I judge her too much. Which is probably true. I have a lot of opinions, and I sometimes have a hard time hiding said opinions, even if it’s just the way my eyes widen and my eye brows go up when I hear or see something. Some musings from this podcast: – There is a great point about how we need to stop judging ourselves. There is a fine line between being self aware and self-flagellating ourselves. – Parenting without judging also encompasses judging other people. The hosts point out that when you express opinions on other people’s choices, your child will pick up on that and that will influence how they feel and talk about their own choices. -There was some great tips and box text for managing moments without judgement. One things they mentioned was not making it about making the child feel bad for their negative behaviour, but rather present it as a bigger picture. For examples, if a child is constantly snacking out of the package, instead of condemning that specific action, you can say, “Hey, I bought the snacks for the whole family to share. Why don’t we pour some in the bowl for you.” Also – they recommend giving kids (and yourself) time before you make suggestions or share thoughts. ie. don’t re-hash the game on the way home from the soccer field. (If at all, to be honest) – One issue that this episode brought up for me was about positive judgements. Often when we talk about juding someone, we are talking about having negative thoughts about them – but is having positive or complimentary thoughts also considered “judging”? I’ve saved this episode because I think I will need to often remind myself of the many wise points. Speaking of which, this made me laugh this week:
-The baby was involved in a video shoot at work this week. We are putting up two shows right now, and the show that I’m not working on needed a little kid for some projection videos in the show. The opera Il Trovatore is one of those Italian blockbusters that feature all the opera clichés – love, revenge, war, class divides – and is famous for having a plot point that involves a baby getting thrown in a fire. Oh and also the Anvil Chorus. It’s full throated loud singing and melodrama. Great stuff. Anyhow I guess they needed a baby to throw into the fire, so we were asked if ours would be willing. I said sure! Baby’s first pay check! From all accounts, she did really well at the video shoot. Took direction, didn’t fuss and was super friendly and cute. I’m sure it had something to do with the gazillion lollipops they gave her. I peeked in at one point and was so proud to see her serious little face paying attention to the director, but I didn’t stay because I didn’t want to distract her. Afterwards, she came and sat in on my rehearsal for a little bit, though I can’t imagine what she thought of it. My show is a lot of loud declarative singing in German. My friend snapped a little picture of the baby in costume of the video shoot:
She was so exited, “I wore a hoodie!”
– I bought more masks this week. As I hovered on the webpage, I was struck with the dilemma of how many masks to buy. It is cheaper to buy more, but will the we still need masks in two months? Three months? I still have to wear a mask at work. The three year old still wears a mask at daycare. Masks are optional for the two kids in elementary school, but the five year old still prefers to wear a mask (“I don’t want to get sick,” he says.) The ten year old prefers to go without. Plus, the masks we found that work best for the kids just started releasing kids masks in fun bold colours… Spring of 2020 and the start of COVID impacting our lives sometimes seems very distant to me. Yet here I am two and a half year later and buying face masks is just another part of the life maintenance routine. At the beginning, I didn’t know what kind of masks to get and spent so much time sewing masks trying to find the perfect fit. Now I know what masks I like to get for the kids, and from which website. If they had a subscribe and save feature, I’d be all signed up. Funny how we adapt and adjust.
-I managed to bike to work three times. And by the end of the week, I biked all the way up the hill that I had walked up last week. Progress. Going uphill is still hard as f***, though.
Brisk fall day on my bike. Perfection.
-We head into tech at the end of this week. As always, my life goals for tech week: *eat healthy nourishing food. (Mostly. I mean there is a lot of unhealthy snacking that goes on too, but as long as I’m also eating the healthy stuff, I’m okay with this.) *Run on my dinner breaks. *Sleep when I get home late at night instead of scrollling *Help the Husband fold a basket or two of laundry whenever I can. Work goals: Stay calm, stay organized, stay on top of things, and be nice.
And as a last note – Angela Lansbury passed away last week. When I was a child we watched Murder She Wrote every Sunday night. And then as I got older, I grew to love her satirical edge in musicals like Sweeney Todd and Anyone Can Whistle. I love this quote from her Washington Post obituary.
The lady knew her priorities lay in her strengths. Or maybe her strengths lay in her priorities?
What We Ate: Saturday: I worked, the Husband made something that involved green beans and stir fry, I believe.
Sunday: We had been planning on eating out, but we had gone hiking so the Husband made tortellini, salad and garlic bread.
Monday: Mac and Cheese (from the blue box) and sausages. The Husband cooked because I was working.
Tuesday: Not sure – I was working.
Wednesday:Red Lentil Soup in the Instant Pot. Continuing my attempts to clean out the pantry. Vegan.
Thursday: The Husband cooked – Fried Tofu Sandwiches. This was an interesting recipe because it involved marinating the tofu in pickle juice. We had tofu to use up and the Husband googled “Tofu Recipes” and specifically looked for one that did not involve stir frying or Asian cuisine.
And afternoon at the Theatre! Photo taken by my cousin 🙂
The last weekend in September!
Our big weekend adventure was going to see Hamilton. I had bought tickets last spring so this had been on the calendar for a while. I took the ten year old and the five year old and my cousin. It was the five year old’s first time big theatre experience, so I was really excited to see what he thought. He loves listening to Hamilton and can sing large chunks of it. And when we pray at dinner, he still says at the end, “And God please bless Hamilton’s son, Philip.” The ten year old has been going to the theatre since she was three when she would come watch rehearsals while I worked. She really loves going, and it’s definitely something that I enjoy doing with her.
Not throwin’ away their shot!
There is a quote in Kevin Wilson’s novel Nothing to See Here: “Maybe raising children was just giving them the things you loved most in the world and hoping that they loved them, too.” I think about this quote when I take my kids to the theatre. I was so obsessed with musicals – and later opera – when I was a tween, and this love of theatre led me to what I do today. I hope my kids love the theatre as much as I do, and even though I know they are their own people with their own thoughts and feelings, I’m sure a little part of me will be sad if they don’t love it too.
And truth. Even though the five year old seemed like he had a good time – he’s pretty stoic and reserved so it’s hard to gauge sometimes- afterwards when I asked him if he liked going to see a show, he said, “I’d rather run errands with Dad.” So there’s that.
Reading the program – a very important part of the theatre going experience.
Two things to get off my chest – 1) the show was really loud. I know that I’m used to working in opera where microphones aren’t usually used, but even so, I feel like the show was unnecessarily loud. It made it hard to hear the lyrics clearly sometimes, which is a shame because the words are such a big part of the show’s brilliance . I think I think this every time I see a big show, so it’s not specific to this experience. 2) We sat behind a really tall person, and it was hard to see some of the action onstage. I know, not anyone’s fault, but it was slightly annoying to have to shift in my seat to be able to see who was singing. His party of four or five people was also late getting back at intermission and they had to cross in front of us to get back to their seats, blocking our view of the first number And then he kept his hat on for about half of the second act. I was really irked. I haven’t been to see live theatre like this in so long that I’d somewhat forgotten how much being a part of an collective group of people is central to the experience of going to the theatre. The ten year old didn’t like the person she was sitting next to, so after intermission she swapped seats to sit behind the tall man, that being preferable to her.
On the flip side of the communal experience coin, though, the family sitting behind us was super friendly and before the show we chatted about whether or not we’d seen the show before and how their son had a soccer game right after – friendly idle chit chat, you know. They even told the five year old that he could sit up on his knees if he wanted to see better, and that it wouldn’t bother them or block their view. At the end of the show they complimented us on how well behaved he was, which is always nice to hear as a parent.
So despite minor irritations, it was a lovely afternoon. We had lunch at the Kennedy Center’s café – which is often the same food we get in the cafeteria, but feels so much more elegant enjoyed on the rooftop. Then we saw the show and there might have been some singing along. When “Dear Theodosia” started, the five year old said to me, “Mommy! it’s your favorite song!” Which it was and I thought it was sweet that he remembered.
We had seen the version of Hamilton released on Disney+, so I knew what to expect in a lot of it. Even still, there is something I love about seeing the whole stage picture rather than close ups and whatever shot the film’s director wants you to see. So much of the choreography and staging features little moments on the second level of the set or in corners of the stage that you don’t see in the film. I think that was one of the things I was so impressed by – the show is so detailed and precise, and I think that is something that came across better watching the show live.
The five year old’s favorite thing was “The magic ceiling.” By which he meant the moment when the lanterns flew in from above to create the ballroom. There is something really dear to me that he called it “magic.” We often use the term “the magic of theatre” when we talk about stage tricks or illusions or even just simple hacks – things like a chandelier that looks amazing and full, but is really half the size and built in a way to skew perspective. Or a sponge of blood hidden on the set so the singer can smear it across their chest and pretend to be stabbed. Or decanter made of breakable sugar glass that shatters onstage at the right time, or a moment of lighting that makes the stage look like sunset. All these we call “magic” but the real magic for us is in the skill that it takes to think of and execute these things. For the five year old, however, a bank of lanterns descending out of the sky without any visible operator – he thinks that is truly magic.
The ten year old’s favorite part was the Schuyler Sisters. She also had some really insightful things to say about how this cast was different than the original cast, which I thought it was cool that she pays attention like that.
View of the Potomac and Georgetown.
After the show we had a bit of time, so we went back to the roof terrace and strolled around and enjoyed the view of the city. It’s one of my favorite places because you can see the Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Memorial from there and it feels so classic DC.
Running on the Roof Terrace
For dinner that night, we met up with the Husband, the newly minted three year old, and my mother at a Mexican restaurant. The food there is always tasty and the staff super friendly. I ordered the seafood soup, which come chock full of clams and shrimp and even half a lobster. So tasty and decadent. All that aside, the real reason we picked the restaurant is that they will sing to you on your birthday. I felt a little badly that I didn’t arrange a birthday party for the baby, so I thought this might be a festive way to celebrate. (or to continue celebrating. Believe me, there was a lot of cake eaten between Friday and Sunday.) The restaurant was super crowded and, as always happens, once the staff start singing Happy Birthday, everyone in the restaurant also started singing and cheering. It was a lot of fun. And she even got a free ice cream with a candle in it!
Birthday girl!Not sharing her ice cream.
After that fun filled day, Sunday was pretty chill. The ten year old had swimming clinic, and I took the five year old to meet a friend at the park with my cousin and the baby coming with. Then I took my cousin to the Metro station. A little sadly, because it had been so much fun to have her visit.
The rest of the day was pretty much relaxing and chores. I took a nap in our backyard while The Husband gardened, only to be woken up when it started to rain. Then the Husband and I left the kids at home with my mom and went grocery shopping, which is what counts as a date these days, I guess. The evening I made kitchen sink ramen for dinner – basically ramen with some odd and end veggies I had to use up – two heads of baby bok choy, some broccoli, carrots, and also some shrimp thrown in for protein. It was really tasty, and it allowed the kids the chance to use the learning chopsticks that my cousin had brought.
Chopstick skills!
I don’t remember how I learned to use chopsticks, but I don’t really use them correctly, for which my uncle is always teasing me. I hold the top chopstick between my middle and ring fingers, but one is supposed to use the pointer and middle fingers. My method works for me, but it does look slightly awkward.
I hadn’t thought about teaching my kids to use chopsticks because I figured, “I’m not using them correctly, I don’t know how to teach my kids to do it right.” We’ve had learning chopsticks before for the ten year old but they didn’t quite stick and now she sort of has figured out her own method, which involves a lot of stabbing and scooping. The learning chopsticks my cousin brought are great because they have loops where you put your fingers and the tops are attached, kind of making them like tongs, which is helpful when learning. Plus they are in the shape of Elsa, Rapunzel, and Spiderman. The kids were super excited to use them and a few time the past few days have requested “Chopstick meals.” Kitchen sink ramen, definitely fit the bill.
So a good weekend – a nice combination of something fun and something comfortingly mundane. And now I’m back at work, and it will be November before I have another two day weekend. Oh well, this was for sure a nice weekend.
Another Labor Day weekend in the books, and now I feel like summer is truly on it’s way to fall.
Not everything on my my Labor Day Weekend plans/ aspirations list got checked off, but the most important adventure was accomplished – we went to the Renaissance Festival! The Ren Faire was the perfect way to end the summer — it’s a special outing, outdoors, yet local so we can still come home and sleep in our beds and not have to unpack suitcases. I love going to the Ren Faire. The costumes, the shows, the atmosphere of hubub… Everything about it is just pure fun. Also – not going to lie, but an additional perk right now is that the two littles get to go for free, so I just had to buy tickets for me and the ten year old. (The Husband didn’t go – even though one of our first dates was to the Ren Faire, he doesn’t actually like them.) This was my first time taking the toddler. I think the five year old went once when he was still a baby in the baby carrier.
We went with some friends who had never been before, and when we met up with each other inside the festival gates, they said, “We’ve never been before, so we’ll take your lead on what to do.”
“Well,” I said, “Usually we see shows, eat food on a stick, people watch, and swelter in the heat.”
And we did all that and more.
We watched a Birds of Prey demonstration. The little kids went on Pony rides. The ten year old climbed a rock wall. The toddler wanted to as well, but you had to be four to climb. “I’ll can climb it next year!” she said.
There was a playground with a giant pirate ship where the kids would have played all day if we had let them. There were people dressed as pirates and wenches and kings and queens and fairies and knights and warriors and all other manner of fabulously imaginative creations. The toddler, being the only one in the family with Ren Faire appropriate clothes (aka dress up clothes) was the only one who got dressed up. She even wore a veil that the ten year old had been gifted the first time she went to the Renaissance Festival exactly six years ago to the date. Here’s a then and now:
The ten year old, when she was four.And this year, the veil is passed on.
Of course we had turkey legs (and all other manner of faire food):
There were shows, so many shows to see. Comedy shows, Shakespeare snippets, juggling shows, music shows (bagpipes!). We watched the drama of King Henry VIII’s court unfold as Jane Seymour waits to become queen.
There was a longsword demonstration. We did not make it to the jousting, which was my one regret. In all my years of coming I have yet to see the jousting. I think I always plan on it but then get sucked into watching something else. Well, next year I’ll make sure it’s a priority.
There was face painting and fairy wings and a warrior’s shield.
We were there all day – arrived at 10:30am and left at 6:30pm. By the end of the day everyone was sweaty and dusty and sticky. The lady at the fairy wing booth said to me, “I can always tell the parents who let their kids have the most fun because those kids are the dirtiest.”
We probably stayed a little longer than prudent; I hadn’t brought the stroller so the toddler didn’t take an afternoon stroller nap and she had a pretty epic meltdown when we got home around 7:15pm. Even still, we had a really great time and, not that I would say it was worth an evening meltdown, sometimes one can’t let the last part of the day be the last word on the whole day. Sometimes the epic tantrum is just the price of admission for a fun filled end of summer adventure.
The rest of the long weekend plans/ aspiration list went pretty well:
We did get to the Farmer’s market. The Husband and I took the two little kids and picked up some yogurt and granola from the farmer’s market downtown. Then, because I wanted to do a bigger produce shop, we drove about twenty minutes to a farm stand in the next county because as much as I love our downtown farmer’s market, the produce is less expensive at the farm stand outside the city. The five year old, unbeknownst to me put a watermelon into out basket. The thing was half his size! Then because it was on the way home, we stopped at Ikea. I had been looking for a container for our paper recycling since our current solution was a cardboard shoebox that was starting to fall apart. The main criteria for the recycling container was that it had to have a lid because the baby is still in that phase where she will put random things in open containers. After scouring the internet, and ordering something from Amazon only to have it arrive broken, I thought we’d check out Ikea. And of course, they had the perfect thing for half the price of anything I saw online. We also found these hooded towels that were perfect size for the two little kids. They’ve outgrown the hooded towels from the baby years, but still like to be swathed post bath. I’d contemplated buying them a set from Pottery Barn or The Company Store, but, again, Ikea had the perfect thing for a fraction of the cost. And the Husband picked up a boot tray that he said was exactly what he needed for draining his plants. Again… perfect thing, fraction of the cost of buying a plant tray from the garden store. We also wanted to buy a mattress for the ten year old, but thought it’d be better to go when she could come with. We did not find a solution for shoe storage – the situation in our foyer with shoes has gotten out of hand. Everything we liked would have to be drilled into the wall, and we have vintage wood paneling that we are loath to drill into. (Later that day, the ten year old just took all the shoes out of the baskets and lined them up in the foyer. We’ll see how the “no storage” solution works… so far, it’s worked better than I thought.) All in all, though, a very successful morning of errands. I’d forgotten how fun Ikea can be for kids. Every time we walked into one of their faux rooms, the kids were delighted. “I want to live here!” the toddler would say. And for lunch, we ate in the Ikea cafeteria and had meatballs, which felt like a treat.
Lunch at Ikea.
The “view” from the Ikea balcony.
I meal planned for the week based on the produce run.
Did not managed to re-assess my closet completely, but I did take everything out and purged some things that didn’t fit. Some of it, like the party dresses, I set aside for my daughters in case they want to them when they can fit in them (which is sooner than I think… the ten year old already wears tops and sweaters that don’t fit me anymore). The closet is a little cleaner, but the clothes to be put into storage or given to donation are now in piles all over the bedroom. A little bit at a time, I guess. I don’t love my options for workwear that I have, particularly for the still warmer weather we are having, but I think I will make do for now and resist buying more.
Did not order shoes, but did put some options in my shopping cart.
Did go to the pool one last time before it closed for the season.
Slow run/walk accomplished when the Husband took the kids with him to run errands one morning. Very very slow. I think I only managed to run about 3/4 miles of it. Small steps. Literally.
I did get to relax on the back patio with a book, and I managed to fit in reading a little bit of each book in my current rotation. I feel like I want to incorporate some kind of family reading time. The little kids don’t read yet, but they can sit with a Vox book. Maybe this is a cozy cooler weather aspiration.
Socks and underwear ordered for the kids. I don’t understand why so many companies sell underwear in packs of five.
Did not completely finish prepping my score for rehearsals, but I did put in a little bit of work time to finish timing the show off a video. Even though the video is not the version we are doing, watching it got me super excited to start rehearsals. The music is so good!
I did not bake muffins, but given the Costco run last week, we are pretty well stocked for snacks.
And, not on the list, but something that the Husband and ten year old have made into a family tradition of late – we finished off the weekend by watching and episode of Golden Girls and folding the laundry. (Well the baby didn’t really watch, but she did do summersaults onto the couch.)
The weather has been quite hot here. Here and everywhere else on earth, I gather. Here specifically, is often high 70s/low 80s and already muggy when I get up in the morning and inches up to low 90s mid day, sometime high 90s. For ten years, before the five year old was born, I worked in the Colorado Mountains during the summer. Not only was the weather pretty mild (except for Denver, which could be scorching), the air was dry. I always joked that the reason I kept that gig was to escape the DC summers. Even so, it wasn’t until I stopped going to Colorado and started staying home in the summer that I realized just how hot and humid and stifling summers were here. And from what I gather, it’s been getting worse. This is what I’m grateful for, however: – it’s not unbearably hot – not like the triple digits in other parts of the world. If I plan a morning outing, I can usually stand to be outside and slowly acclimate to the heat by the time it gets to be high 80s around noon. – Air Conditioning. I’m reading about other parts of the world that are not used to such heat and where AC is not typically found in a house. I don’t need the house to be chilly, but I do appreciate how the AC can take the humidity out of the air. I like setting the thermostat at 78 when I’m home, though the Husband likes it more like 72. (Incidentally, the podcast 99% Invisible did an episode about Air Conditioning a few years ago, and it is fascinating. Among other things, it presents an argument for how AC is responsible for redrawing the electoral map as climate control allowed for a population boom in Florida.) -Shade. It’s actually quite lovely in the shade. I think it’s the direct sunlight that makes the heat feel particularly intense. So I’m grateful for trees. – The periodic breeze, that comes just at the right minute and cools the sweat pouring from my pores. -The windows in my car that roll down. The AC in my car isn’t great. (The car is almost 20 years old and I’m thankful every day that it still runs as well as it does. ) But there is something so very wonderful about rolling the windows down and cranking the radio. I’m a dork and I crank the classical music station, especially when it is playing fast Baroque music. The wind in my hair and some virtuoso playing Bach is kind of a happy place for me. Which is a good place to find sometimes because actually being in my car is the place I am least happy with the heat. Something about being stuck at a stoplight with the sun beating down through the window on my left side… makes me irritable and angry. But once that light turns green, and the wind goes and the music blasts… I think I can bear it all. – my insulated water bottle. I actually have several. I fill them with ice and water in the morning and drink cold cold water all day when I’m out and about. -Being able to join a pool. I’m not sure we would go five times a week if the kids didn’t have swim practice, but since the ten year old has to be there almost every evening, I’ve taken advantage and take all the kids to go a cool off in the late afternoon. I will say, though, it is certainly challenging to go to the pool with two non-swimmers, and I do wish I had another adult with me so that I could swim laps during adult swim. – Prescription Sunglasses. I was very late to the sunglasses party. I wear glasses in real life and I didn’t want to have those clip-ons, or, worse, the sunglasses that fit over your regular glasses like a huge plastic visor. Sunglasses seemed either kind of dorky, or too cool for me. So I just went without. Until two years ago, I went to get new glasses and the optometrist warned me about some minor retina damage caused by the sun. So I caved and bought sunglasses. Life changing. Why didn’t I realize sooner that it was loads better to be able to see when you drove on a hot summer day? That squinting was not the best option? That everything didn’t have to be painfully bright?
Between swim lessons and swim practice and swim meets, this week felt really busy and pool-centered. With the five year old in 9am swim lessons, by the time I drop him at school after swim lessons, it is already 10:15 and I have only a few hours before I have to do school/camp pick ups and shuttle everyone to the pool for the ten year old’s swim team practice. It kind of forces some element of time blocking into my day, though: 8:15a-9:00a – drive to camp and swim lessons 9:00a – 9:45a – swim lessons 9:45a – 10:15a – drop five year old at school 10:15a – 2:30p – that day’s activity, park, outing, or errand. Also, concurrently, lunch for the toddler, and hopefully a nap 2:30p – 3:00p – prep or make dinner 3:00p- 3:30p – make snack for kids to fuel up before the pool/ clean up kitchen (I tend to leave all the dishes until now, otherwise I feel like I’m constantly doing dishes. I know some people like to clean as they go, but I prefer to batch. Only lately there’s been an ant problem in our kitchen, so I do clean as I go more often.) 3:30p – 3:50p – pack swim bags. Yes it really does take me twenty minutes to hunt down all the swim gear for the two little kids, and make sure nothing is missing. (The ten year old is supposed to pack her swim bag before we leave for camp.) 3:50p – drive to pick up kids from day care and camp and get to the pool by 4:50p.
That 10:15a- 2:30 chunk is variable each day, but it’s where I plan for things to get done. I struggle with this chunk sometimes because after a morning driving carpool, I just want to sit and scroll my phone for a bit, but that bit invariably turns into an hour or so while the toddler yells at me for not playing blocks with her. Objectively I know that I don’t need to be spending that time on my phone, but some days I’m already wiped by 10:00am. I think I just need to be better at planning concrete projects/plans for the day, and then I can not fritter away those four hours.
But speaking of which…. Fun things I did with my mid day chunk this week:
– Took the baby to play in a river. One day was so hot yet I wanted and outdoor adventure since I hadn’t been on one in a while. So I packed a picnic lunch and took the baby to Patapsco State Park after dropping off the five year old. There is a river perfect for splashing in and plenty of shade on its banks, though you have to cross the “Swinging Bridge” to get across. As the trip was a little impulsive, I didn’t pack so well… Next time, I will plan on bringing a bathing suit for the kid(s) and Crocs for me. In my head, the baby was just going to wade into ankle deep water and throw rocks in the river while I sat nearby and read by book. That wasn’t quite how things happened… The baby went into the water a little deeper than I thought she would and managed to soak her dress and her pants. I lay the dress and pants in the sun and they were dry in half an hour. I had worn my hiking shoes and the river bottom was quite rocky so wading in after her in my bare feet was a little painful. Also next time, I will remember to download the books that I borrowed via Libby so that I will have something to read on an lazy summer afternoon. There is no wireless reception in the park, and I had been planning on reading while the toddler played in the river, having forgotten that Libby needs a wireless connection to work since I don’t have the books automatically downloaded. wump wump. Not that it’s a bad thing to be actively engaged with playing with one’s child, and it was still a lovely lazy summer afternoon.
Patapsco River
– Lunch with a good friend who had the day off work. It actually started as “Come over and hang out while I clean,” which might not sound like the most riveting time, but in truth, I’m really happy to have friends who aren’t afraid to have me over when their house is messy because I know I don’t have to clean for them when they come over either. And then we went out for lunch, which felt so decadant. We were going to get ice cream too, but we spent so much time lingering and chatting over lunch that we ran out of time.
-Making Empanadas. Empanadas are a great food to have in our freezer for those times when I don’t know what to pack for lunch. I will often make them myself, but they do take a huge amount of work because there are so many steps: filling, dough, make, bake. I usually spread it out over a few days – so filling on one day, dough on another, make on another and bake on another. It is a lot of time, but the convenience on the other end is pretty hard to beat. This time around, the baby helped make the empanadas. She even made one all on her own, when I wasn’t looking. Guess which on it is?
Baby empanada!
Not so fun (but necessary) things I spent my chunk of time doing: 1) Zoom meeting for union negotiations. Ongoing and kind of fascinating, though the less said the better. 2) researching Primary candidates. We live in a pretty blue county, so other than the big state races, the Primaries are pretty much where we choose who gets to run our County. Fun fact – one of our friends is running for County Council and we were in his campaign photo shoot. It was still a little surprising to see campaign literature coming to our house with our (out of focus) faces. The ten year old says she also saw us on a local tv spot. Kind of fun, but also a little surreal.
This week was also the last swim meet. There are practices and Divisionals coming up still and I think, hope, after that our afternoons will be a little lazier. I’m really proud of how the ten year old is doing on swim team and I do rather enjoy my volunteer job as a timer – it puts my stage manager skills to work. All the same, I will be glad when we aren’t always rushing to be at the pool and can instead arrive at our own pace. There has been precious little of those relaxed summer evenings and, much to my alarm, summer is quickly slipping past – we have just five weeks until school starts again. We have some really fun plans for those five weeks, a little bit of travel and some adventures here at home, but I think I also need to plan some not so busy times, stretches of boredom and maybe picking up a few life skills while we wait for the corner to turn and be in back-to-school season.
What We Ate:
Monday: No cook tomato sauce with pasta – from the recipe magazine handed out at the grocery store. It called for using a food processor and I used the Vitamix instead so I’m not sure the texture was quite right. It was tasty, though.
Tuesday: Instant Pot Creamy Butter Beans and toast. Ages ago, I had bought a bag of dried butter beans (aka lima beans, but if I called them lima beans there would be resistance.) and they’ve been languishing in the cupboard every since. Then last week, I borrowed Bare Minimum Dinners by Jenna Helwig from the library and there was this really simple Butter Bean recipe and I decided that it was time I made use of that bag of beans. It was saucy and tender and delicious.
Wednesday: Chicken Empanadas for poolside.
Thursday: Sandwiches from Filippos, eaten on the lawn of a local music venue while enjoying a concert by musician Elena Moon Park, an “all-ages” musician (or family musician – her music definitely appeals to a wide age range). Her concert featured music drawn from folk traditions of different Asian countries. Hearing music from non-western traditions was so much fun. Even though the roots of the music was from another part of the world, it had an almost bluegrass type spin on it. We had such a great time!
Friday: Pizza and Iron Man 3, which was very entertaining, though I had to look up p;ot summaries later because I didn’t quite grasp all that was going on.
Last weekend was a long weekend, and it felt like a good combination of lazy and productive and fun.
The “productive” was clearing out a mountain of baby clothes from the guestroom – which we currently call the multi-purpose room since it houses the guest bed, the baby’s pjs and changing table, the Husband’s seldom used work from home set up, my concertina, and all our winter coats and snow pants, and whatever random thing that doesn’t have a home. But my mother is coming in a few weeks to help with the kids when I start my next gig, so we need to make the room suitable for her.
There is something a little sad about boxing up the baby clothes to pass along to friends – the acknowledging that I’m done having babies (physically if not mentally) and that others get the joy of little baby cuddles. But I realized that just shoving the clothes in the attic was delaying the inevitable. So I sorted and packed and kept a few things in a bin I labelled “nostalgia” and then texted my friends with new babies to see if they needed clothes.
“Productive” was also going for two runs, even though the weather was in the low 30s. I had read somewhere that running makes the temperature feel ten degrees warmer, so with that in mind, I decided to brave the cold. I put on my wool and silk underwear and headed out. I’m still very very slow and running intervals rather than longer stretches, but it feels good to be moving and out in the air.
I passed this charming lone glove on my run – clearly a lost object that someone had placed on a branch in hopes that its owner would come looking for it. I love how it kind of poked out from behind the tree, waving at me while I ran past.
friendly hello.
“Lazy” was hanging out watching football and basketball and eating popcorn for dinner and playing with our trucks and the Swedish climbing wall and deciding that the freezing rain was enough reason to let the ten year old skip swim clinic and just sit at home and watch football and eat the apple pie which the Husband made.
This latter was definitely not lazy on his part, but it was his first attempt at apple pie. Saturday would have been his father’s birthday, and he always made apple pie for the holidays. When we accidentally got a bag of granny smith apples in our grocery delivery, the Husband decided that he was going to honor his father by making an apple pie. It turned out really well! And whereas my apple pies always seem to come out with a soggy bottom, the Husband’s did not. I’m so proud of him!
Also maybe lazy was going on a winter walk. There had been snow forecast, but it turned out to be a mild dusting which quickly turned to icy slush and mud. Since we had spent the previous day hunkered inside, I decided we were going to go for a morning walk. I made the poor decision to wear my sneakers, along with the four year old, forgetting that there is some patches on our walk that has truly terrible drainage and then had to carry him over some large icy puddles. Note to self: just wear the boots.
And “Fun” was taking the ten year old to see West Side Story at the AFI Theatre. I love West Side Story. One summer, I was stage managing at an opera festival and my show was performed in rep with a production of West Side Story that was so so so good. Like I started crying from the moment Tony and Maria met in the gym because there was something so beautifully fatalistic yet full of life about that production. I don’t usually gush to directors, but at the opening night party, I cornered the director and gushed.
When I was in high school, or maybe college, I can’t remember, I somehow got my hands on a cassette tape of the original Broadway Cast Album of West Side Story. I can’t recall what I was doing at the time, or where I was going, but the commute was exactly the same length as the A side of the tape – from the brassy opening bars of the prologue to the romantic hopefulness of “One Hand, One Heart.” Every day, as I drove from home to work (or maybe school), I listened to Side A. I feel like there was something wrong with my tape deck that I couldn’t just flip the tape over, so I would just rewind the tape and listen to side A again. And it was kind of magical and perfect because twice a day in my car, Maria and Tony met, fell in love, and pledged their troth. I never moved on the the Rumble or its tragic outcome, or to Anita’s anger and Maria’s desperate love or the hopeless hopefulness of “Somewhere.” There was just this perfect little story of two kids from opposite sides falling in love.
So my love for West Side Story is longstanding and when I saw that the movie was finally being released, I knew I was going to have to see it somehow. (Somewhere…) I also thought it would be a great mother-daughter date since the ten year old loves musicals too. There’s that line in the book “Nothing to See Here” where the main character says something to the effect of parenting being showing kids what you love and hoping they love it too. This was absolutely that kind of excursion. (Spoiler alert: She loved “America” but though the Rumble too scary. “There’s a reason that this movie is PG 13!” she said, emphasis on the 13. )
Even pre-COVID I didn’t go to the movies much – maybe two or three times a year. During COVID – I think the ten year old went to a movie birthday party last summer where one of her classmates rented out the whole theatre, but that’s pretty much been it for movies in theatre. To be honest, I was a little on the fence about whether I thought this was going to be a good idea. I mean there’s the whole COVID and gathering in large groups thing, but also… the story doesn’t really have a happy ending. But I asked her if she would want to go and she said yes.
On the movie theatre’s website, patrons have to to reserve their seats when they buy tickets, so I could look at the seating chart and get an idea of how crowded the theater would be. It didn’t look like there were a lot of tickets being sold – and I had heard that the movie wasn’t doing that well at the box office. Given that the seating chart looked pretty empty and that they required proof of vaccination or a negative PCR test and masks in order to see a film, I figured that going to the movies was not the riskiest thing that we could do right now. But even still, I was somewhat relieved when the movie started and I looked around and counted maybe twelve people in the theatre. It’s so strange to have to do these kinds of risk calculations for something that used to be a typical casual date night activity, but I guess that’s life in COVID times.
The movie itself was wonderful. I though the new script by Tony Kushner brought some thoughtful backstory and details to the story. And I loved how gritty yet beautiful everything and everyone was. And the score, and hearing it played by a full orchestra. And the dancing… I love big dance numbers with choreography that tells a story as well as showcases how incredible the human body can be when it moves. And when many human bodies move together, it’s even more amazing. Every move was so deft and natural.
And there were definitely tears for me. I’ve always found “Somewhere” somewhat problematic in the stage show because while the song is beautiful, it kind of pulls the action away from the stage and story. But in the film, I thought they found such a moving solution for the song, one that had me in tears. I actually was in tears for a lot of the movie. Mostly during that “B” side of the tape that I never listened to all those years ago. Which is probably a good thing because driving while crying is tough.
I spent much of the weekend working. Yay work! I had gotten a call to do another supertitle gig, this time for a vocal recital. The contract had me create the PowerPoint for the supertitles in addition to running them during the recital. Creating the PowerPoint and putting the slide placements in my score ended up taking much of Friday night and all day Saturday. At some point, after I was deep into typing the slides for the first half of the concert, the Husband, data organization genius, figured out a way to take the translations that I was given and put them directly into the PowerPoint. It involved moving the data set (as he called the lines of text) into an Excel file, then into a Word document merge file, and then finally into the PowerPoint. While it seemed complicated, it was loads less time consuming that typing everything out. This is probably incredibly nerdy, but the Husband and I had much discussion about whether it was better to proof your data set then merge, or to merge the given data set and then correct the final PowerPoint. It is so interesting to me that even after twelve years of marriage I’m still discovering ways in which the Husband and I think differently, especially on such a conceptual level.
Anyhow, the recital itself was magical. The first half was songs by queer American and British composers, and many of the songs were favorites of mine. The second half was songs by Spanish and Latino composers and full of fun and feeling. I had forgotten how much I love a song recital – the simplicity of a singer and a pianist and the music they want to share. No sets, no costumes… just music and text and heartfelt emotions of that moment.
One of the songs in the first half was a song written by Lee Hoiby, called “Where the Music Comes From.” I had sung it when I was in college, and judging from YouTube it is extremely popular in college song recitals. Nonetheless it is one of my favorite songs; I loved the piece for it’s elegant long lines, full of hope and yearning and joy. I get the sense that in the classical music world, songs that are so unabashedly melodic are somewhat out of style – critics tend to dismiss them as artless pastiche pieces or overly sentimental. Maudlin, even. I would definitely say that “Where the Music Comes From” is sentimental, and sentimentality is perhaps frowned upon these days. People want smart and ironic and clever.
(Also, I just noticed that I had always sung the third verse incorrectly… there is a phrase of music that is just different enough from the previous two verses that you need to pay attention or you’ll sing it wrong. I had an internal mortifying moment wondering why my voice teacher and art song coach never said anything to me about this and let me perform it in a recital incorrectly!)
There is something strange about hearing someone else sing a piece that you are so intimately familiar with that it is carved into the heart of your memory. When I heard it in the recital on Sunday, I got goosebumps because it sounded familiar and new all at the same time. But – and here is the wonder of this particular singer – I have loved this song for over twenty years now, and he made me re-think the piece. (I’ve put the text below.) I had always thought of the three verses as three different wishes, but there was something about the way this singer sang the song that made me realize, that actually, it’s the same wish – the song is a wish for a place where all these things can come together.
I want to be where the music come from, Where the clock stops, where it’s now. I want to be with the friends around me, Who have found me, who show me how. I want to sing to the early morning, See the sunlight melt the snow: And, oh, I want to grow.
I want to wake to the living spirit Here inside me where it lies. I want to listen till I can hear it, Let it guide me and realize That I can go with the flow unending, That is blending, that is real; And oh, I want to feel.
I want to walk in the earthly garden, Far from cities, far from fear. I want to talk to the growing garden, To the devas, to the deer, And to be one with the river flowing, Breezes blowing, sky above. And, oh, I want to love.
There is so much about the text that speaks to me, but I think listening to this now, during a pandemic where isolation is a survival tactic, I really grasp on to the imagery of needing to surround oneself with joyful nurturing things, whether it be friends or nature or even just thoughts – and being able to recognize and merge these things into your life.
